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Reading Reviews for Five of a Kind
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unicorn_Charm Chapter One - Buying the Pot

16th January 2016:
Hey Nix!! I'm here with that second promised review!

I'm so sorry, I legit forgot to be honest. Then today it hit me that I still owed you that review. I've been working a lot of overtime which has apparently fried my brain haha.

Oh my goodness, I LOVE this! I love how you're taking the characters and fitting them into the personas of the Breakfast Club kids, but still giving them their own personality where they truly seems like Harry Potter characters and not carbon copies of who you're basing them off of. I can't imagine how hard it must be to write something like this, but you're doing such an amazing job. I love it!

I have to say, my favorite part of this whole chapter was Scorpius making the crack about Snape's wardrobe. XD I literally laughed out loud at that part.

I can see why you're having fun writing Scorpius, because I have to admit, he's my favorite so far. So I'm a sucker for a bad boy. *blush* But he's pretty much hit the nail on the head, I think, calling out Rose on all her BS. And you can already tell that he must not be that bad of a guy, just from that little gesture of him healing Scamander's tongue.

I really don't like Rose at the moment. But, I'm sure I'll eventually grow to like her. Freddie isn't too bad. Just a typical jock, but he doesn't seem like a bad guy. I'm really intrigued by Scamander. I feel like there's a lot more than meets the eye when it comes to her. I'm wondering if she used to be Lysander's twin brother, instead of now a twin sister. Al seems sweet. Such a little nerd, but honestly a sweet kid. I feel bad for him, being stuck in there with all that madness. And I'm still dying to know what he did to land himself in detention.

I'm really loving this so far. I can't wait to see where you take it, how you adapt it to the Potter world and I can't wait to watch these characters grow. I'm so excited for this story! Please let me know when the next chapter is posted. I can't wait to read on!

Sorry again for how long it took me to get your review done!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi! I loved reading this review! And it's totally okay that it took you a while! I totally understand about the busy work schedule, mine's been pretty crazy as well, although slightly less crazy now that the holidays are finally over. And like I said, it's a long chapter to get through. This is the first time I've written a chapter of this kind of length, and the rest are probably going to be just as long.

I'm so glad you love the characters! I did try really hard to make them fit the Breakfast Club kids' stereotypes, but make them their own characters at the same time, and tie in the world of Harry Potter and Hogwarts as well, while also completely going against most fic writers' headcanon of the next generation. Just writing Albus' POV and making sure it was just right took so many rewrites and attempts and it took forever to get this chapter up. And the next chapter with Rose is proving even more difficult but I think it will all be worth it in the end when it's finished. I've never taken as much care as I have in writing this story with anything else. I'm probably taking it a bit too seriously, but I love it nonetheless.

Haha, I love Scorpius! I really do! I'm so excited for his chapter but first I have to write the others'. My favorite part is probably the end when he locks them in the room. I also find the moment where he heals Scamander's tongue very endearing. He really does hit the nail on the head, I think he's probably the most honest out of all the characters but he's so blunt and callous about it that the others don't want to listen or believe him.

I'm really struggling with Rose. She's based on a stereotype I usually only write in passing and it's hard writing her. And then I have to gradually make her likable? It's not going to be easy. Freddie... I haven't fully fleshed him out yet so I'm not sure about him yet.

Scamander is my second favorite. Already she's so mysterious and weird and I'm curious as to how she'll end up in the end. There's definitely more than meets the eye with her. But she was never previously a boy, that's personally not something I think I could write and do it justice. I don't know if it's ever actually specified that Lysander and Lorcan are both boys or if it's just something we ran with in the HPFF community, but I like the idea that maybe they're not. That, and I didn't want to make up any OCs for this story and I needed another girl.

Albus took a lot of time to flesh out, and I still wonder if I couldn't have fleshed him out more, but at the same time, I couldn't give everything away this early in the game, so I had to keep a little mystery to his character. He's definitely in for some madness though with Scorpius and the others.

I'm so glad you're loving this. I really need to finish the next chapter, it's just so time-consuming. And I don't have a lot of free time anymore, and when I do have free time I'm usually too mentally drained to do anything productive. But updating this and Sirrah are on my to-do list after I write this Drarry.

Thanks so much for the amazing reviews! And thanks for being so kind to offer reviews to people! You're awesome! I will definitely let you (and everyone else, lol) know when the next chapter is up!

xxNix







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Review #2, by Unicorn_Charm Introduction - Dealer's Choice

30th December 2015:
Hi Nix!! Here with your first prize review!!

Oh my goodness, I am SO excited for this!! I love The Breakfast Club, so I cannot wait to see your wizarding interpretation of it!

I have to say, I'm incredibly intrigued. I'm dying to know what "the Potter boy," did that landed him in detention, but not only that, why Cormac was surprised that he earned a detention for whatever it was.

And I love that there will be a poker theme to the chapter names, like you've mentioned, because I'm a poker player.

This was such a great opening chapter. It absolutely grabbed my attention and has me needing to read on. Even if you hadn't won that second review, I'd still be moving on to read the following chapter.

Oh, and what?!? Cormac is a professor at Hogwarts!? He still sounded like a bit of a creep in the beginning of this chapter. But I suppose that's perfect because the principal in the movie is the worst.

Awesome job, Nix!! Can't wait to continue on!!

Thanks for playing!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi! I'm excited that you're excited! I also love the Breakfast Club and trying to come up with a wizarding alternative has been super fun!

Right now, what the Potter boy did is still pretty hush hush, so I cannot tell you. But you will find out as the story progresses. I am glad you like the poker theme, it was fun to come up with--it was all inspired by the title of course, which I did not come up with, Karen did. I really don't play poker though, or know too much about it, I just researched a bunch of terms on wikipedia and picked the ones I thought best suited the chapters... so hopefully as an actual poker player, you also think they fit.

I adore this little prologue, I really do. Even though I only wrote it on a whim in less than a half hour. It's really helped pull in readers and it brought out Cormac's character perfectly. The best part is that I wrote this entire snippet with an OC character, and it wasn't until I'd finished it and read through that I was like "You know who this reminds me of? Cormac." And so that is how Cormac became the professor. He is a creep though, which just helps to make him even more perfect for this particular role.

Thanks so much for this lovely review! I can't wait to read the next one! And hopefully you'll be interested enough to continue on your own... once I continue writing it and actually post more chapters, ofc...

Thanks again!
xxNix



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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 Chapter One - Buying the Pot

13th October 2015:
Hi again!

This was great. I loved every minute of each snarky remark and snippy comeback. Malfoy was PERFECT! I love his lax attitude. It is so nice to see after always seeing him in a stuffy, stuck up role.

Rose was equally impressive! I liked seeing her a snotty stuck up and Freddie too. I felt awful for Albus and the way that they treated him made me sort of angry, but it's all good.

I am curious about the Scamander girl and Albus is totally right... How could you date someone and not know they had a sister... seems a bit weird. I am really really looking forward to finding out this and more as this continues.

Poor Cormac! :D

Keep up the awesome work!!

I will be adding this to my favorites!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hola! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! I LOVED writing Malfoy! Is he often stuffy and stuck up in other fanfics? I really haven't read much of him myself. But I really love him in this role. He's probably the most well-rounded character so far in this story.

Rose is very stuck up, and Freddie is not much better. Poor Albus is right, to be stuck with such crappy cousins. Hopefully they get better as human beings as the story progresses. I'm still working on the Scamander girl. It's kind of hard to give a personality to someone who doesn't speak but hopefully I will get better at it. And you're right, it certainly is weird that Rose wouldn't know her ex-boyfriend had a sister, but hopefully that will shed some light on how the girl is treated by her family, maybe? Idk.

Poor Cormac? lol, he's definitely not happy at the end of this chapter. If only someone else had been given the task of watching this bunch.

Thank you so much! I am trying to work on the next chapter this week so hopefully it will be up soon but I can't make any promises after how long it took me to write the first chapter.

I do hope you continue reading though!

xxNix


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Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17 Introduction - Dealer's Choice

13th October 2015:
Hi!

I am here again with another review for you!

I liked this. I thought it was a nice, short look into what is yet to come. I am completely intrigued as to what she was meaning about that poor Potter boy... Curious!

I also really liked how this jumped right into the plot line and you didn't waste time with more back story. You were concise and yet you also made sure that the readers will know sort of what to expect as they read on. I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Keep up the awesome work!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! I actually wrote this bit on a total whim and I was really pleased with it in the end that I decided to add it to the story. The whole point was to interest readers to read on.

I do jump right into the plot with this. I wasn't worried at all about the backstory for Cormac since it's not really necessary. And I wanted to give out a few hints of what readers would discover in the future chapters.

I hope you like the next chapter! Thanks again for the reviews!

xxNix


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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter Introduction - Dealer's Choice

28th August 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review for our swap! I am really sorry that I don't have anymore Blastoria for you but I've been going through a tough time and it's been hard to write anything. I do have half the chapter done though, I just need to finish it so hopefully you'll see it soon! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this swap with me, I really appreciate it.

I had a difficult time with your AP. There were so many interesting stories that it was tough picking just one to read and I might be back at some point to check them out. :D This one sounded pretty unique though, I'm curious to see what this is going to be about. I'm totally getting Breakfast Club vibes and I am already down for that. Hahaha.

Cormac doesn't seem like the sort of person that would enjoy being a teacher. What class does he teach? Haha. I can't picture him enjoying his job but I like that we get great clues to his personality. Apparently, he loathes children and is more interested in flirting than being bothered but I think that was pretty realistic. I thought it was great that you had him like this, we all know that there are quite a few teachers who hate kids or at least, their jobs.

I'm really eager to find out about this assignment that the students are getting and about the detention group as well. What on earth happened to one of the Potter boys and Malfoy? I wonder why there are so many Weasley's in detention too, since it seems like a pretty rare thing. Haha. I may just hop on over here again soon! This sounds like it's going to be a great read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! And it's okay there's no more Blastoria at the moment, it gives me the chance to start something else. I've had the same issue when it comes to writing of late, it's like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore when I open a document and try to put some words down. And lol, feel free to come back if you ever want to read anything or do a swap.

Yes, I don't actually say it in this intro, but I do mention in the Author's Note of the next chapter that this is very much based off of The Breakfast Club, so your vibes are very on point.

I think Cormac is going to be that teacher everyone hates. I don't even know what he teaches yet, I don't even know what he's good at. I thought maybe being the flying instructor but I don't know. I need to research him and figure him out a bit. Yes, he's definitely a bit of a tool in this story, more interested in hooking up than his students. I'm glad that you like him like this those, I actually wrote this bit on a whim basically, when I was still using an OC as the teacher in this story, and when I wrote that out it just did not feel right anymore with him being an OC, I'd been doubting it for a while to be honest, and I asked myself, who in cannon would this personality fit? And who might have a grudge against some of my characters? And I instantly thought of Cormac and put him in there, and he just fit so perfectly in my mind, so I'm glad other people think so, too.

Haha, some of your questions will be answered in the next chapter, and others will be answered throughout the story. I wouldn't say there are "so many" Weasleys in detention, but there's more than one, and that may seem like a lot simply because it's such a small group of students... I wouldn't say it's rare though but it is with these particular students... Okay, not giving any more info away! lol. I do hope you check out the next chapter soon, I'd love to know your thoughts on it!

Thanks for swap and this lovely review!

xxNix


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Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter One - Buying the Pot

18th August 2015:
So, I think that doing a Next-Gen fic based on The Breakfast Club is an inspired idea. I've never actually seen the whole movie, but I'm familiar enough with it that I think this'll be a good time.

You do a good job with Scorpius here. He grates on the nerves a bit, but he remains honest and amusing enough to be a bit endearing, which balances it out. His healing the Scamander girl's (Lorcan? Or someone else? I suppose we'll find out) tongue was a good touch. It was done breezily enough that it doesn't make him seem like a bleeding heart, but it still kind of makes him the most likable person in the room.

I don't think Al is overly awkward, but I don't like or dislike him yet. He was a very backseat participant in this chapter, so I feel like I don't yet know enough about him to form an opinion.

Ugh. Rose. You have successfully made me kind of hate her. And I'm not much fonder of Freddie. I can appreciate his devotion to his team, but he seems generally unpleasant.

However, I'm thinking they're all going to grow on me a lot.

You write with very nice detail. Everything is easy to imagine and it flows well. And you're dialogue sounds realistic! :D

"Don't mess with the dragon, son, or you will get burned.
--Ugh. So lame. And yet that is exactly how I imagine grown-up Cormac McLaggen would talk.

So! Rosebud, are you and Lysander Scamander going out again yet or what?
--Rosebud was a great thing to call her, here. I don't remember running into that one a lot, but it sounds spectacularly condescending.

"Apparently, you just can't keep a Malfoy down."
--Something about the timing of this line just really amused me.

CC: I always try to give CC, but this is a really solid chapter. Not much in the way of grammatical errors. Mostly I've just got a few places where it seems like a sentence might flow better without a particular word. It's nitpicky, but that's because the chapter was very good!

"mainly because she was rarely ever caught for doing anything wrong."
--"caught for" seems like kind of awkward phrasing. It seems like it should just be, "she was rarely ever caught doing anything wrong."

Clearly, they'd declared her as no one of importance since she wasn't going to pay any mind to them.
--the "as" here seems out of place. It might be better to say, "Clearly, they'd declared her no one of importance..." or "Clearly, they'd declared her to be no one of importance..."

ponder about your wrongdoings,
--I think it would just be "ponder your wrongdoings."

I began to take off my cloak, regretting wearing my school robes to detention when everyone else was dressed in their street clothes. I turned to see Malfoy glaring at me as he had begun to remove his own leather jacket at the same time. Terrified of a fight, I quickly put my robes back on and avoided eye contact.
--Minor continuity thing. He says he takes off his cloak, not his robes. But then he says he puts his robes back on.

Did he know something about her the rest of us didn't.
--missing a question mark


This was a really good introduction to the characters. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of them better! (I'm particularly intrigued by the Scamander girl. And I want to find out what it is that makes Albus so pitiable. Plenty of questions). This is a great story idea and so far you're executing it really, really well! I'll be eagerly awaiting the next installment. Nice work, Nix!

--Penny

Author's Response: Aww, thanks so much! I'm glad you like the idea of a Next Gen Breakfast Club! These first two chapters were so much fun to write, even though that this chapter is particular was also so difficult to write.

I really glad you liked Scorpius! I mean, you kind of described him exactly as I'd wanted him to come off as. Yes, he's annoying, but honest, and amusing as well. At least I hope he's amusing. I love the bit where he heals the Scamander girl (it is Lorcan, since it's obviously not Lysander). I don't know what parts of the movie you haven't seen, but during the lunch scene, Bender just automatically throws Allison a Coke without question, he's the only one who even thinks to offer her one, and that's kind of my ode to that, if that makes any sense. But at the same time, he's not looking for a thank you, he's not involved at her with her, he just does it and moves on.

I think it's funny that you find him the most likeable person in the room though. I mean, I guess he kind of is when him and Albus are the ones you get the most from, with Albus narrating in this chapter and Scorpius being the main talker.

I'm also glad ALbus doesn't seem overly awkward, although he awkward, lol. He might be the most awkward of the bunch. He is kind of backseat though, Rose and Freddie are his cousins but they're not friends, he's a bit scared of Scorpius, and has no clue what to think of the Scamander girl.

I do hope the others grow on you as you ge to know them better, but as of right now they aren't supposed to be likeable. Which I guess now makes sense as to why Scorpius would be the most likeable character so far...

Thanks so much for this review! I'm so glad the detail and flow are written well and that the dialogue is believable enough!

I love the quotes that you've given. The joke was meant to be lame, which made it oh so painful to write. I'm also glad you like the nickname Rosebud and think it fits with the question and the condescending tone. Scorpius does give her a few nicknames through the story. Haha, I'm glad you think that the line about Malfoy was funny! I don't think I intended it to be funny, but at least Albus is capable coming off as a little bit humorous. And I will definitely look into fixing the mistakes, thanks so much for pointing them out.

Again, I am so glad you are enjoying this story so far and I do hope you keep reading! I'm working on the next chapter, although very slowly.


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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell Introduction - Dealer's Choice

18th August 2015:
Hey Nix! Jumping over to come check out this story, since it's one of the ones you sent me. You've got a nice setup here. Cormac as a professor--ohmygosh! He's got to be the worst! I think you definitely nailed how he'd feel about detention duty, and the things he'd rather be up to.

Plus, you set up the mystery of either James or Albus nicely. "that poor Potter boy" and "is that the one...?" It just leads to a whole host of questions, and I'm excited to begin finding out the answers!

Also, I like how she describes the detention list and says, "a couple of Weasleys". Like, there are so many of them, we're just tossing some in for flavor. Who can even say which ones they might be? :D

Very solid story opening. I'm liking it!

--Penny

Author's Response: Aww, this was so unexpected! Even though I did send you the links, but yeah.

I'm glad you like the setup in this chapter. I'd expect Cormac would be pretty bad. I haven't yet decided exactly what he'd teach yet though. But from what we know of him, I think he'd much rather be hitting up girls than dealing with kids in detention, lol.

I did want to keep this chapter a bit on the mysterious side. I certainly couldn't give the whole story away in the intro! But I'm glad you're excited to find out who is who.

Hahaha! Yes, just "a couple of Weasleys," you know, as per usual. There are definitely a lot of them in next gen, it really could be anyone. Did you also catch where Cormac calls the detention kids "weasels" in the first paragraph? That was totally on purpose because I sense there's probably still a bit of hate between Cormac and Ron and Hermione. If that's not hint enough...

Anyway, thanks so much for the review! I was super excited to come on and see this!


xxNix


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Review #8, by pointless_proclamations Introduction - Dealer's Choice

11th August 2015:
NIX!!

Instantly, I adore Cormac McLaggen's internal voice. The style of narration is so satisfyingly snarky and you make it so easy to understand Cormac's character immediately. I LOVE IT!! YOU ARE SPECTACULAR! What a way to start a story!

Hmm, I do wonder what the Potter boy did to get him into detention and what the other Weasleys and the Malfoy are in for. Bahaha! Cormac's idea of a detention sounds very much like a time-out that will allow him to do absolutely nothing at all, but sit down, I suppose.

"I couldn't even begin to imagine exactly what sort of scheme she might be planning here." Similarly, I can't even begin to imagine what sort of scheme you might be planning here. It will, undoubtedly, be magnificent and played out in the most brilliant manner if this first chapter is anything to go by.

Goodness, I cannot wait to read on!!

Love,
Em

(Slytherin Review Tag)

Author's Response: Aww, Em! You are the sweetest person ever! I'm glad you liked Cormac's internal voice! I actually wrote out this snarky voice and scene before even deciding to make this person Cormac and I'm glad it worked out so well.

What the kids are in for will definitely be coming in a later chapter! Of course, I couldn't put them in detention without telling you all why they are in detention.

Me? Planning a scheme? Never! lol. I guess we'll find out anyway. I certainly hope it's as awesome as you think it will be but I can't make any promises just yet.

I do hope you keep reading! Thanks so much for the lovely review!

xxNix


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Review #9, by moonbaby11 Introduction - Dealer's Choice

24th July 2015:
Gahh, I love this so much! This is such an amazing Secret Santa gift!

This chapter was really short so I don't think there's really too much I can comment on, but I can say that I'm already intrigued! Obviously I love the Breakfast Club so this is great for me, but I'm really interested to see where all the characters fit into the titles (it looks like Scorpius is the 'Criminal' character) and what you keep true to the movie compared to what you adapt and change.

I think you've done a good job of bringing the story into the 21st century and into the wizarding world so I really do applaud you for that! Sorry for how long it's taken me to get to this, but I'm off to read the next chapter because I'm very excited about this fic!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you like this so far and are intrigued about where and how everyone and everything will fall into place with the movie. Scorpius is the criminal, yes, lol, and in the next chapter the titles will become much more clear. I am trying my best to keep it true to the movie without just copying the movie... plus because it's Hogwarts and they are witches and wizards, I have to add in some magic. So some things will be different or just switched around, but you'll see.

"I think you've done a good job of bringing the story into the 21st century and into the wizarding world so I really do applaud you for that!" That is literally like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, and I thank you for that even though like you said, this little chapter is so short and you haven't even met the kids yet so I'm amazed you'd even think such a thing at this point. I do hope you continue to read this and enjoy the next chapter. The next chapter is super long, too, even when not compared to this tiny snippet of a intro, so I hope you like it!

xxNix


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Review #10, by alicia and anne Chapter One - Buying the Pot

16th July 2015:
I can't believe that I hadn't read this chapter yet, *rolls eyes at self*

I am excited about what this chapter will bring! :D

I love that it's basically becoming a family reunion haha and it's so refresing that you've made it so that they're not all friends. It's like that with some of my cousins, we just ignore the other really unless we need to speak.

Scorpius is the Hogwarts bad boy? I love this!! So much! Although he's a bit of a jerk and I want to shake him for being mean! I want to also shake Rose and Fred for being mean too.

I still love that it's McLaggen that has to supervise them. :P It brings me so much joy!

A girl with Scamander as a last name? Oooo is it one of the twins? :O

Oh Rose definitely needs to be shaken for that comment about the delinquents.

This Lysander is funny! I love that she's the weird one and causing them all to stare at her with wide eyes and weirded out looks. Haha.

Can I just say that the fact that Albus is a nerd as Scorpius calls him, and isn't talking to Fred or Rose is so original! I love seeing him like this, I love that he's not this great and amazingly popular person.

Okay, I've gone back to loving Scorpius and his comments towards Rose and Fred!

And Albus is so adorable with his "I'm in the Astronomy club" "I'm in the potions club" like the cutie he is! *strokes Albus' hair* Don't worry Albus. I heard you.

Aww he's in the Charms club too!

DON'T SCOFF AT THAT SCORPIUS! JUST WHEN I WAS STARTING TO LIKE YOU! Wait... You seem like you're being nice. I'll let it slide this once!

Hahaha he stuck the door shut! He's so brilliant! I am back to loving him again! :D

I love this so much! It's my new favourite thing ever! I can't wait to read more of them together, and I just know that it's going to be very entertaining.

IT'S LORCAN?! Oo I always imagined Lorcan as a boy!

Author's Response: TAMMI! I'm so excited for this review!

I'm glad that you love the fact that Albus isn't friends with Rose and Freddie. I've definitely enjoyed writing them this way so far.

Scorpius IS the bad boy! And yes, he can be mean, but he is the bad boy, so it's to be expected, right?

McLaggen was such a spur of the moment idea, but it works out so well! He's perfect for the part I've given him.

Yes, the twins! Lysander is the boy and Rose's ex and Lorcan is the girl. Originally I always pictured Lorcan as a boy, too, but I saw in another story, an author made Lorcan a girl, and I really liked that so I decided to use it myself in this story. I think she is funny though, even if she's not trying to be. I loved writing the scene with the Acid Pop.

Writing Albus as "the nerd" and a Ravenclaw to boot was so difficult, and it took me a lot of time to make it happen. And I still don't think he's fully fleshed out, but hopefully in the coming chapters he will be.

HAHAHAHAHA! I love this review! It totally made my evening! And I'm so glad you love the story! Rereading this chapter and reading this review makes me want to write more of it.

Thank you so much for reviewing, Tammi! You are awesome!

xxNix



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Review #11, by ScoroseOTP Chapter One - Buying the Pot

28th June 2015:
Hey!
Back for the House Cup 2015

So, it was Cormac McLaggen! Good to know!

It was ROSE Weasley... I'm a tad astonished! I really like how you're showing a completely different Rose to any I've read before. This isn't how I have ever imagined her but in a strange way I like it!! It's kind of refreshing but I really don't like her. As a person, I am not her biggest fan, she seems stuck up and just not the girl I hoped Ron and Hermione to bring up at all. I'm kind of happy she's still quite intelligent and a goodie two- shoes though, I think that's a characteristic you just can't ignore.

Freddie Weasley... Not so astonished by him at all! He is more like what I would expect Freddie to be, a Quidditch star and knows it. More of a prankster too. He's more on track to the kind I write about, but different in some ways, I like that though.

Scorpius, he's different too! I really do like seeing the way you've presented these characters. And it all makes sense! He would be rich and would know all the stories of Draco's past, why wouldn't he act this way. Why wouldn't he just give up and stop caring? He's Dad and Grandad were Death Eaters, that's gotta be hard to comprehend and deal with! ( I'm sure he is a lot of fun to write!)

Lorcan, is a girl? Never really saw that coming, but why couldn't she be? We don't know really! It's an interesting take to say the very least and I'm interested where you go with it!
(By the way- Lysander and Rose kind of makes sense to me too, I quite like the idea of the two of them actually! That makes sense too)

Then Albus, poor little Albus, who did you get mixed up in all this?! I'm dying to know! It just doesn't seem right.
I'm also slightly upset that the Weasley- Potter clan aren't so close! :( I mean, I get it because these characters are heavily flawed and just don't seem very nice at all, but still!

Ooh! This whole story is so intriguing!!


ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Yep, it was Rose. I know. I'm glad you like that she's been characterized completely different from her usual stereotype. I'm very intrigued by her as well. But I think there is more depth to her than she lets on. Freddie, likes to be a prankster, but has goals that keep him from wanting to get in trouble, especially when he's already in detention to begin with. And he's very dedicated to his Quidditch team.

Scorpius is different! They are all so different. They were all put in different stereotypes than I originally wanted but I like the way it's turned out so far, I think it makes the story a lot more interesting that the characters aren't what most people probably expect. That's an interesting thought process to why Scorpius doesn't care though. I hadn't really thought that bit through and I'm still trying to work out why he is the way he is, but your idea is interesting and I may have to keep it in mind when I finally delve into his the inner-workings of his brain.

Lorcan IS a girl. I saw someone else do this in another story and I thought it was a neat concept, Luna having girl/boy identical twins. All the twins showcased in canon so far have been same sex twins so I thought this would be different. Plus, I could easily see the name Lorcan working for either a boy or a girl.

Yes, poor Albus. I have a general idea, but I am still working on that. Plus, it won't be explained until a later chapter anyway, but I will get to it eventually.

This was such a great review! I'm so happy you like the characterization and are intrigued by the story in general. I do hope you continue reading when I finally continue writing and updating this story.

xxNix


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Review #12, by ScoroseOTP Introduction - Dealer's Choice

28th June 2015:
Hello!
I'm here for the House Cup 2015!

Is that Cormac? As in slimy Cormac McLaggen? A teacher,mat Hogwarts?! I never thought I'd see the day!! That's rather interesting but it makes sense, you want the character to be annoyed at having to do detention. And how better than him? I can imagine him getting very irritated!

Is the deputy headmistress still McGonagall? Who got the job as Head if she's didn't?! That's a different take of things for sure, I just expected her to get the job!

Scorpius! I just can't imagine him being THAT bad! But I guess it's in his family... But still!
"A couple of Weasleys" < now that made thus girl smile! Like its so typical for them to have detention!! Surely they shouldn't get caught! :P
Are we talking Albus? I feel as if we might be, because he and Scorpius are meant to be close in age.
But what did he do? I can't think of anything that would require detention and counselling- that's a bit of an odd combination! I'm looking forward to finding out though!

ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes it is Cormac. Super slimy Cormac. He does fit the role I created very well, I think. He wasn't part of the initial plan, but when I decided to go canon and not use an OC, he was my first thought.

Maybe it's just me, but I just assumed McGonagall would have retired by now, i.e. 26/27 years later. But I haven't given the deputy headmistress a name yet and I'm not sure if I will. If she's mentioned again, it probably won't be til the end so I suppose I have time to ponder on that.

I don't think Scorpius is as bad as he's maybe played up to be in this. But he's definitely a trip, and Cormac is not very fond of him. Haha, she does say "A couple of Weasleys" in a very run of the mill type of way, like it always happens, but that's not totally the case with these particular Weasleys as you will see. But there's so many of them, I'm sure some of them did get into trouble quite often.

The question about Albus, I am sure you already know the answer to by now. But what he did I can't tell you just yet. It will come in due time.

Thank you so much for stopping by and reviewing!

xxNix


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Review #13, by rosiful Chapter One - Buying the Pot

28th June 2015:
Whoa, this was way better than I imagined!
I have actually never seen The Breakfast Club *hides*
If it's anything like this, I really need to though!

I absolutely love Albus! I think you're broken all the usual characterizations with him! As soon as he mentioned that he didn't get along with his cousins very much, I instantly assumed he was a Slytherin and friends with Malfoy. But NOPE! It's so different from the normal Next Gen characters and I love it!
Still wondering how he managed to get into detention though...

Malfoy is such an interesting character. He sort of reminds me of one of the boys that used to go to my High School, but Scorpius is way funnier. I loved his banter with Rose and Lorcan, it flowed really well and was very interesting to read.

It was a longish chapter, but didn't feel like it when reading! I can't wait to read more!

-Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Aw! thank you so much! This review just warms my heart. All the hearts to you! You are so sweet!

Albus is very different in this, and it was very fun to write him that way, especially when you read a a lot of NextGen stories and they all are just kind of set up the same, Albus and Rose are constantly put as best friends because they are the same age, so I really enjoyed making them the opposite. In this, it begins with Albus being very disdainful of Rose because she's always pretty rude to him, and eventually he's going to give her a real eye-opener of how she is. And I'm excited for that. And Nope, Albus isn't in Slytherin and isn't friends with Scorpius. Although I do worry about whether I've put them in the right houses or not, and really hope it all turns out right in the end. The reason behind the detention will come eventually... I couldn't just throw it out there in the first chapter, but I do try to allude to it.

Thank you! I think Malfoy is going to be fun. I'm excited to write him. And I'm so glad his banter flows well, because he is such a big part of this chapter, and the upcoming chapters, plus Rose would rather ignore him and Lorcan has yet to speak, so good flow is good. Definitely.

That's amazing, I'm glad this chapter doesn't drag because it is so long, and the others will be long, too, because there's so much I want to include. So I do hope you stick around! These reviews have been awesome!

It's nice, too, getting the perspective of someone who hasn't seen the movie, because this will follow it fairly closely. I do switch some things around, and have to Hogwartize it and add in lots of magic, but other than that I do want to stick to main plot of the movie. And I'm super glad you like it so far!

Thank you so much for checking this out! More hearts to you!

xxNix


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Review #14, by rosiful Introduction - Dealer's Choice

28th June 2015:
Haha I like Cormac as a professor! It's not really a job I would've imagined him in.
I think the second paragraph basically sums up his personality perfectly! Babysitting "little weasels" instead of "schmoozing up the pretty bartender". I wonder why he decided to become a professor, and what subject he would teach?

I'm so curious as to why they are in detention! Potter especially!
Sounds like Malfoy is going to be a very interesting character in this. Can't wait to read ahead a see what they're all like!

I really like this as the first chapter of a story. It sets the scene nicely, but is also really vague, which just makes the reader want to read more!

-Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you like this. This prologue really was a spur of the moment type of thing, and I originally had an OC in Cormac's place, and it wasn't until I wrote this out that I somehow came up with the idea put him in instead. I was just like "I don't like that this person is an OC, who in canon could I put in that would have this sort of attitude?" And then, "Why not Cormac? I'm sure he's still holding some hard feelings over Hermione, and Ron getting both his quidditch position and the girl he wanted." Which is my reasoning for why he's particularly rude to Rose. Although what course he could be teaching, I haven't even really thought of it. Hmm, maybe I should though.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the prologue though, it was a lot of fun to write.

xxNix


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Review #15, by adluvshp Introduction - Dealer's Choice

27th June 2015:
Slytherin here for House Cup 2015.

This was a very interesting little chapter! I like how Cormac is a professor at Hogwarts. That's something I wouldn't have envisioned. I wonder what he teaches, haha.

You have captured Cormac's personality pretty well. The annoyance at having to spend his day off watching kids in detention, the desire to flirt with the new girl or the bartender, are all quite plausible for him.

What I liked was the vagueness - you kept a certain level of intrigue here, not informing why the kids were in detention, what the Deputy Headmistress' scheme is and what exactly is going on.

And of course, having the Weasleys, Potter and Malfoy all in the same detention can turn out to be very amusing so I'm looking forward to checking out what is in store for them.

Your descriptions were good, nice characterisation and over all good plot!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Angie! Cormac I think is going to be interesting, although I haven't really decided what he teaches yet. And I'm glad you like his characterization, I always thought of him as a bit of a slimeball.

I do keep it vague because everything will be explained as the chapters progress. I do think the characters are going to be a lot of fun to explore and write, especially Malfoy, he's going to be one of my favorites in this, I can already tell.

Thanks so much for the lovely review, I'm glad you liked the intro!

xxNix


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Review #16, by looneylizzie Chapter One - Buying the Pot

17th May 2015:
Nix!

So so so SO glad you've got a second chapter up! I've been looking forward to reading it!! :D

I love your characterizations of everyone! I think you've done such a good job of meshing the characters in "The Breakfast Club" and the next-gen characters we know and love! I think right off the bat I knew the Rose and Scorpius would be in the story...and that a Weasley/Potter would play the super-athletic type (the "Gryffie King" if you will), but I didn't know which one, or who would be the nerd. And I have to say I like the casting a lot! It'll be interesting to see what new level of interaction can come from Al, Fred and Rose, since they're related, and clearly they don't have the greatest of relationships.

It was Lorcan who threw me for a loop though. I have to say, it does work for a girl's name, but I totally didn't expect that! I like her though! The whole thing with the acid pops definitely made me giggle.

Anyway, I can't wait for the next one, though I understand it taking some time! Keep working on it though, it's fun to see this develop!
LL

Author's Response: Yay, I love surprise reviews I'm not expecting! I'm so happy you decided to come back to read more!

And I'm glad you love the characterizations. They still need some work in my opinion, but I think they are coming along nicely so far. This story has been challenging because I ended up giving the kids different roles than I originally wanted. In the beginning I wanted Freddie to be the rebel and Scorpius the Quidditch star because I thought these things would be more fitting to their characters and how I expect them to be raised by their parents that I love, but alas, to make romantic pairings happen, things had to be different. Albus was always supposed to be the nerd, even though writing him as such has been a lot more difficult than anticipated. I don't really see him as a nerd so I guess that's what is making it so difficult. Rose I wanted to be the loner girl but when I finally decided on adding Lorcan to the mix, it seemed way too off-kilter to have Luna's daughter be the popular Queen Bee type. So, roles had to be changed up. It's definitely made it all very interesting. I'm glad you like how it's all going so far! I think Al, Rose, and Freddie are going to be especially interesting to see interact together, since I have written them to not have the greatest of relationships. Al definitely has already declared some dislike (hatred seems like too strong a word) for Rose. And he's already very intrigued by Scorpius, this bad influence type who he's never really interacted with before (but who's also never picked on him before--like Freddie and Rose's friends tend to do). He's clearly got some pre-generated thoughts about Scorpius, but he seems to questions them the more he observes the boy and his actions towards the others.

I like Lorcan, too. I always pictured both Lorcan and Lysander as guys, but then I read another story where Lorcan was a girl, and I liked it enough to write my own version. I think the name is very genderfluid, could pass for a girl or guy's name really. I really liked writing the acid pop scene, lol. And I do think her character is going to be really interested once she gets more involved in the group.

I definitely plan on continuing this and seeing where it leads. It will be awhile though before the next one is up because there are so many other things I'm also trying to write, which makes updating one thing consistently fairly difficult.

But I do hope you keep reading when I do finally update! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story so far! And thanks so much for taking the time to review!

xxNix


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Review #17, by Rick Riordan Chapter One - Buying the Pot

6th May 2015:
amazing! but please write more you have great potential

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much. The next chapter might take a while to write, but of course, it will be written, along with the rest of the story.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

xxNix


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Review #18, by 2007 Pete Wentz Chapter One - Buying the Pot

4th May 2015:
hey nix. pete wentz again. i was super into the first chapter of this, so when i saw there was a new chapter up i couldn't resist dropping by.
i like this. you've got some interesting characters here and you've written the next-gen kids in a really unusual way. i don't think i've read many fics where albus and rose aren't friends, for example. i'm especially interested in lorcan. she seems like a troubled person. having scorpius fix her tongue was a nice touch - it hinted that he's maybe not just an a-hole.
this isn't perfect though. i notice you're having some trouble with tenses. you keep switching between past and present. so that's something to keep an eye on.
as for your A/N: congrats on your longest chapter. that's awesome. i do like albus. i feel like he could be a little more fleshed out, but i started to get a good sense of him when he was piping up with what clubs hes in. adding more details like that might help. the chapter isn't too long. rose seems kind of bratty - like i mentioned, that's pretty unusual. freddie seems cool, not too big of a jock.

now, nix. i've noticed that not too many people have been joining in on trying to figure out my identity. i thought i'd tell you who else i've reviewed so that you could see about getting them in on it. i've left reviews for ad astra, Unicorn_Charm, and jessicalorewrites. i also wanted to let you know that some of the things i say in my reviews apply to my alter-ego on the forums too. i think that idea got brought up in that blog post that kaitlin so helpfully made?
good luck...

xopeter

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for stopping by again! The next-gen characters are very different in this story. To be honest, my original plan was for Rose to be the loner, Scorpius the jock, and Freddie the joker, but it just didn't work out like that. So this is what came of it instead. Lorcan is an interesting character and I haven't quite decided what to do with her yet but I think it will turn out all right. I do really like the bit where Scorpius heals her tongue. I obviously can't make this story exactly like the movie, there are so many differences, but I'm trying to mix it up while keeping some things similar. I kind of see Scorpius healing her tongue as Bender throwing Allison the soda. I don't know. It's not a perfect science recreating a plot.

Tenses. I have always had issues with tenses. I thought I'd fixed most of them. But I'm sure there's plenty I missed.

Yes, this is my longest chapter ever. I usually don't like to make them this long but I'm sticking with my chapter plan, so it's happening. I'm glad you like Albus, although I feel the same way about him. It's hard trying to build his character when he's busy paying attention to everyone around him and not so much himself. I hope I can flesh him out better in the future chapters. Rose is bratty; making her Claire's equivalent is not easy. And she's not exact but she's a work-in-progress. Freddie I'm not too sure about.

Anyway, you leaving two reviews on my story has made me very curious as to who your alter-ego may be. And I've already made one possible guess, just waiting on the reply. Hopefully I'll get an answer soon enough.

Thank you so much for the reviews though, they've been wonderful. And it's super exciting getting reviews from Pete Wentz because I'm a huge fan of both him and Fall Out Boy.

xxNix


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Review #19, by anon Chapter One - Buying the Pot

1st May 2015:
this was really fun and you can see how everyone fits in to the original movie which is cool, while also seeing your version of the characters coming through. Can't wait for the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad the characters are coming through well on their own and not just as copies of the movie characters. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xxNix


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Review #20, by 2007 Pete Wentz Introduction - Dealer's Choice

28th April 2015:
hey, nix. awesome name. i'm pete wentz, from fall out boy. you might have heard of us. our new song thnks fr th mmrs is pretty big right now.
i dont think i'll be able to leave a super long comment on this - its pretty short - but i do want to say that im excited to see where its going and this is definitely a really intriguing start. i wanna know whats up with the potter guy. the breakfast club is a favourite of mine, so im pumped about this fic.
great first chapter, dude.
"don't you forget about me..."
xopeter

Author's Response: Hey, hey, hey! Well, thank you, Pete, you're name is pretty awesome, too. And of course I've heard of you! I have been a huge fan for what feels like forever now.

This intro is pretty short. I'm sorry about that. But the upcoming chapters are going to be super long if that's any consolation. I'm so glad you are pumped about this fic though, I do love it.

Thank you so much for stopping by and giving this a review! It was super cool of you, dude.

And I will never forget about you. Although I have yet to figure out who you really are, I am very curious!

xxNix


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Review #21, by alicia and anne Introduction - Dealer's Choice

26th April 2015:
Poor Cormac, being forced to look after the kids in detention. I wouldn't be happy either! :P

I absolutely love that it's him that's going to be watching them, I can already tell that it's going to be hilarious!

What did Potter do?! I'm so intrigued!

I can't wait for more! I love the film the breakfast club so I'm excited about what's going to happen in this! :D

SO EXCITED FOR MORE! I NEED IT SO BADLY!!!

Author's Response: Haha, I know! Though I don't really feel any pity for Cormac. But I think adding him into this was a good decision.

He did... something. I can't tell you yet. But if you've seen the movie then you can probably make a decent guess.

I'm so glad you're excited! It should be up soon. Of course, I keep saying this. (It should be up so soon I wrote an intro and put that up instead.) But it really should!

Thanks for the review! And you're amazing offering of so many reviews!

xxNix


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Review #22, by Shadowkat Introduction - Dealer's Choice

25th April 2015:
I'm looking forward to reading, seems to be an intriguing concept. :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! Next chapter should be up soon, it's written, it just needs some finishing touches.

xxNix


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Review #23, by looneylizzie Introduction - Dealer's Choice

24th April 2015:
Ooh!! AWESOME!!

First of all, I LOVE the breakfast club, and as soon as I saw the description I knew where it was going, and I have to say, I'm SO glad you've written this!

Secondly, Cormac as the professor over the students in detention?? Brilliant. Of all the people in the HPverse that could fill that role, I think Cormac is clearly the best. :D

Thirdly, I seriously can't wait to find out the characters you've got involved here. I mean, clearly Scorpius is...and no doubt Rose...but which Potter?

This is awesome. Super excited to see what comes next!!

LL

Author's Response: Ha, I love the Breakfast Club, too. I'm glad you like the idea of making an HPFF version of it.

Cormac was literally a spur of the moment decision. I orginally had an OC in his place but I didn't really like him... so when I decided to write up an intro, he kind of just came to mind, and I decided to put him in instead and I think he's going to work out great for the story.

Haha, Scorpius is going to be a trip, I can tell you that. And you'll find out the characters soon enough. Chapter one should be posted fairly soon, it just needs some finishing touches.

Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you like it so far!

xxNix


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Review #24, by crestwood Introduction - Dealer's Choice

24th April 2015:
hi Nix! I'm supposed to be writing so I'll keep this quick.

I love this so far. Cormac is my least favorite of all characters but I like reading about him. It's complicated with him. I like the way you withhold the Deputy Headmistress' name, as well as what happened to Albus. It sounds like he attempted suicide, but I'm not entirely sure. It sounds like Scorpius is gonna be the most weasel-ly of the weasels. Of course, I know what kind of assignment they'll receive because I've seen the film. I can't wait to meet the kids. Your characterization of Cormac was excellent. Glad you decided to post this intro chapter!

Amazing work!

Author's Response: Hi Joey!

I personally don't know why you would enjoy reading about your least favorite character, but oh well, he's just the teacher, he's not meant to be a big part in this story, lol.

And I left out the Deputy Headmistress's name because I'm lazy and I didn't feel like creating another character, so yeah. Of course, now that I think about it, I do like that it gives her an air of mystery because we don't know who she is or what she's planning.

I'm not going to comment on Albus yet because his chapter isn't up, plus we won't even get into that until later in the story anyway so... moving on. I think Scorpius is going to be fun. In Sirrah he's not so fun, so I like having the chance to write him in a different light. Of course, this story is not connected to Sirrah, so it's a completely different Scorpius. I'm excited for everyone to meet the kids. And I'm glad you enjoyed Cormac, even though you hate him.

Thank you so much for this review!

xxNix


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