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Reading Reviews for Chaos Theory
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by looneylizzie i. the introduction

1st May 2015:
JESS!

So, here I am for the April Review Exchange, which I'm actually really excited about because I get to FINALLY read this story.

I mean, it's only been on my reading list since a week after you first posted it (no, I'm not even joking).

Okay, onto the chapter!!

I really love the vibe you've created here with Lucy and her friends! It feels exactly like my late teenage years. Awesome.

Lucy is so incredibly delightful! (not) But in a good way. She's a little prickly and a little rough around the edges, but any good character has their rough spots!

I think it's quite amusing to see how people choose to write Molly and Lucy. Many choose to ignore them (*cough*me*cough*), others write about one of them being chill and laid back like many of the other Weasley's may be, or sometimes they're both drastically different than their father.

Already you've managed to capture a tiny snippet of who Lucy, Molly and Audrey are in this story. I'm really glad that you've established that so early on, because sometimes it's hard to know what to expect if they're introduced later.

Also, Molly is horrible. I'd like to use several swear words, but I'll refrain myself.

Ditto with Audrey. Like, seriously woman? What's up with hyper-focusing on your older daughter? Shallow much? -- But the fact that she's muggle adds a nice little twist. I like that she is so heavily involved in both worlds. That's quite different from what I've seen before.

So a small CC is that I'm a left a little confused, at least for the second half of the chapter. I'm a bit lost when it comes to Lucy's friends. Kit we get to know the best, and I have gotten a little bit more of a sense of who he is, but her other friends...everything jumps around so fast and I am sort of scrambling to keep up.

Like, when did Lucy and Kit's other friends even get there? Did they come to the football game? And did they go to some sort of shopping mall to pick up all of the supplies? All you say is "warehouse" which could mean quite a few things.

And do they call what they're doing anything other than "Hogwarts' Black Market"? Just curious, since it's a little ambiguous until you mention that.

Of course, with all of these things, it may be intentional. So you're free to ignore all of this. :D Sometimes an intro needs to leave you with a few more questions than answers.

Honestly though, this is a REALLY good start to the story. I'm incredibly interested to see how you've changed up the educational system and what this whole Black Market is about. I think you've definitely hit your description on the nose...it does seem like chaos is inevitable. ;)

Also, confounding two staff members...hilarious!

Anyway, I'm gonna finish this up so that I can go ahead and read the next chapter. Looking forward to more! I think you've got something awesome here!

LL

Author's Response: WOW hahaa so long on your reading list! I'm glad you got chance to start it ;)

my shoulders are really beginning to ache from typing out review responses for so long so I'm sorry this isn't going to be particularly long in comparison to your essay haha. which I thank and commend you for!

totally taking on board your CC here I understand why it is confusing and am 100% going to work on that. the black market does have a name, but it would probably be good to bring it in here instead instead maybe??

thank you thank you thank you for the review! I really am sorry it took me so long to reply to and even now it's probably not as long as you'd hoped

thanks ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #2, by my_voice_rising ii. the journey

20th April 2015:
OH MY GOD Headcanon that Oliver Wood named his son Harry, because Harry caught the Snitch and won the 1993 House Cup for Gryffindor. PLEASE let this be true!

You've got a pretty diverse cast of characters, which is very refreshing! I loved Kit's crush on Harry. Is Orla the daughter of Romilda? And it was so funny that they were finishing (or starting, ahem, Kit) their homework on the train.

It's also very interesting, and realistic, that you've chosen to explore Post-War magical Britain and how Muggle items are becoming more commonplace--even coveted, hence Nox's existence. I particularly liked the mention of Sinistra's pre-war robes; that was a very nice touch.

I'm a little confused about what's happening with NEWTs/no more split-level coursework, partially because I'm very sleepy and partially because I don't really remember much canon about schoolwork, whoops. But this is very well written and I'm interested to see where you're taking things!

Author's Response: OH MY GOD HAHAHHA YES SURE LET'S GO WITH THAT. my headcanon was he named him harry bc he just thought harry potter was such a great hero and friend and overall great guy but I can just imagine his wife having just given birth like "oLIVER ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND" "NO BUT LISTEN [INSERT NAME] YOU ~DONT UNDERSTAND~ THAt SNTICH CATCH WAS INCREDIBLE"

orla IS the daughter of romlida, yes! she started off as lavender brown's daughter but I changed route haha. one of will's dads is richie coote, if you remember him from the 6th book

hopefully the education thingy is a little better explained now sorry for making it so so confusing yikes

anyway thank yaa for the review!!

- jess, xo


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Review #3, by my_voice_rising i. the introduction

20th April 2015:
Hiya! So I have to let you know--in case you're wondering if your experiments have been working--but I decided to read this fic because of all the tumblr posts you've been making! Haha. There was a recent story preview that I can't quote right now due to 12+ rules, but it really had me laughing.

I like Lucy so far; she's a tad bit unlikeable in that she's pretty grumpy--although rightfully so, with her family. And even more on her family, she's kind of like Percy that way! He's much more insufferable, but they are similar in many ways and you've done a really nice job! Her friends seem funny. I'm excited to hear more about them, and their physical descriptions and such, but I think you also did a really nice job not info-dumping in the first chapter. That's always difficult not to do.

Excuse this not-so-great review. Can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: OH wow I didn't even think ANYONE read my tumblr posts tbh hahahha wow it's so weird that you've come here because of them hah

oooh yes lucy is designed almost to be one of those characters where you're in the between feelings about. she's neither likeable nor unlikeable; she's just a girl in the middle who is forever grumpy and very pessimistic

thank you for the review! and for reading my tumblr hahahaha

- jess, xo


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Review #4, by dracodarlingxx iv. the future

18th April 2015:
Okay, new theory: I reckon it's the Gryffindors who were playing the pranks. Yay or nay?? :)
Great chapter :D

#rowenforworlddomination

Author's Response: OH

MAYBE

MAYBE NOT ;)

- jess, xo


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Review #5, by Unicorn_Charm i. the introduction

9th April 2015:
Hey Jess!

This is for our Gryffie Exchange for March! :)

So I like your Lucy. I like that she isn't uptight and a perfect straight O student like I see often in fic. She doesn't come off like a carbon copy of her father, which is refreshing. It makes her seem more real and like an actual person. Molly on the other hand seems a bit unbearable haha. I'm sure she's a nice girl though. ;)

I don't think I've ever read Audrey as a Muggle either. :D I actually love that idea! I just picture her being Aurthur's favorite in-law just for that fact alone haha. Well, maybe not. She seems like she has the personality of a wet mop, too.

Oh my god, Jess. I LOVE the fact that they are running an underground black market at Hogwarts! I mean, it was a bunch of pre-teens and teens at that school. It would be foolish to think there wasn't drinking, smoking or other typical teenaged things going on there.

That definitely seems like a motley crew of friends she has, but that makes them more interesting. It absolutely has me wanting to read on and see what kind of shenanigans they get into, for sure.

Excellent first chapter! I'll be back! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: hey!

sorry I didn't have the time to review more of your story in the swap. may has just been SWAMPED for me :\

hm, molly, being nice? questionable ;) but lucy is very much an independent girl, a stray from the rest of her immediate family (and somewhat the others)

oh yes arthur and audrey would get along SO WELL! like at first it was hermione because hey at least she's muggle BORN but then percy brings home audrey and arthur's jaw drops and he's simply ENAMOURED by her forevermore (even though she definitely does have the personality of a wet mop).

I'm so here for underground black markets ♥ I wish there were more in fics tbh

thanks for the review!

- jess, xo


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Review #6, by dracodarlingxx iii. the homework

7th April 2015:
Eh, I would've said it was Louis if you hadn't mentioned that the character responsible hasn't been introduced yet.
And if he's Lucy's only cousin in Slytherin.hmm.is it Scorpius? Is he even in her year? Is he even in Slytherin? I can't wait for the next chapter, if that's when we find out who!
P.S. this stuff about the education reforms is pretty cool, but I honestly don't see why they're so upset; pretty much the same thing is happening now in England, with the A-Level reforms (or so I've heard ;) ) and it doesn't seem too bad. What's the problem?

Author's Response: hey!

I'll throw a few hints around and say there are MULTIPLE people responsible but the 'leader' of sorts, or the instigator, hasn't yet been mentioned. It'll probably be really obvious when they are but let's just pretend and keep it a secret for a little while, yeah? hehe

I can let you know RIGHT NOW though that it's not scorpius. if it helps, lucy is the third youngest weasley/potter cousin with only louis (same year but born several months apart) and roxanne (a fourth year gryffindor) younger than her. so, scorp and the others have already graduated at this point.

honestly, they're mostly SO SO upset because it drives the plot forward. but as someone who went/is going through similar changes in the uk education system I can attest to the fact it is so so annoying and I know me and a lot of my peers were quite upset about some of the stuff happening too. not quite to the same extreme but everyone was beyond annoyed. the key difference is that in the uk it was being done gradually and students had time to prepare whereas in this everyone is just like BAM HELLO YES YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT.

you have to remember too that these five main characters in particular DON'T TEST WELL. that isn't to say they're not intelligent and intuitive and knowledgeable but they're only average/below average in terms of actual standardised testing. before, they could do coursework and more practical stuff to help boost their grades but now it's pretty much just EXAM EXAM EXAM with maybe a few practical elements thrown in.

thanks for the review! the next chapter is all written and ready to be posted in about a weeks time :)

- jess, xo


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Review #7, by The Easter Bilby i. the introduction

4th April 2015:
Hello there!

What an intriguing first chapter! I like where this is going already. Although there are a whole bunch of characters introduced to us, I feel like we're getting a good sense of who Lucy is and you've characterised everyone well in giving them distinct personalities and portraying the family dynamic and tension realistically.

I'm not quite sure if them being able to fake their age and IDs would really work in the wizarding world - I feel inclined to believe that they would have measures against this, particularly as the Three Broomsticks is located so near Hogwarts.. but disregarding this, I love the idea of some entrepreneurial start-up at Hogwarts. I think you're off to a great start here, and I hope to read the rest of it!

Happy Easter!

Author's Response: EASTER

wow I feel so bad about not replying for so long oops omg sorry

eeep thank you! I think the friends are still a little underdeveloped but that's just the way things worked out with pacing etc, so there's much more to come on that.

hm you do raise a fair point I suppose! I guess I never really thought about that. who knows. it'll have to stay now though, for the point of the story ;)

thank you for the review and your time!

- jess, xo

happy easter too ;) from 16th may 2015


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Review #8, by WhiteFeather iii. the homework

3rd April 2015:
I love this story! It's seriously funny and I'm quite excited for you to release the next chapter. It's also inclusive to loads of races, religions, sexualities etc, which is awesome.
I would have bet it was Rowen who started the no-homework spell if you didn't say they hadn't been introduced yet!
Thank you for the update!

Author's Response: hi! thank you for the review, it means a lot ♥ I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story!

it definitely wasn't rowen though, I'll throw that out there now ;) it should be easier for readers to guess from chapter 5/6 onwards :)

- jess, xo


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Review #9, by TidalDragon ii. the journey

2nd April 2015:
Hello again!

What I liked about this chapter was how it continued the very natural flow of the piece. Unlike others you didn't force any cliffhangers or over-dramatic transitions and you stuck to the ordinary path of the beginning of a school year. You also maintained a nice balance between description, inner thought, and dialogue, which is always a major plus for me.

As a matter of taste, I wasn't a huge fan of the frequency of profanity here, but I won't deny it's realistic for the age group. Lord knows I remember myself at that age, swearing A LOT. On a "deeper" note, I did think that the introduction of so many characters did diminish the characterization a bit, but I imagine that's just going to be a bump in the road as you move forward.

Great start to what should be a great story!

Author's Response: hey!

I think there are a couple more things I would've done differently in this chapter to make it more 'normal' back to school but still :) thank you

ahh I read this review back when you posted it and as a result I've tried to tone down the swearing a little. I myself am quite a frequent of profanity irl (naughty me) so I think that reflected in this and the 'freer' sort of attitude I wanted the characters to show. like I said though, it's still used in later chapters but much more selectively, I think.

and yes I see what you mean with throwing a good many characters in at once. I hope it doesn't throw readers off too much :\ I (hopefully) begin to explore characterisation more in the next few chapters

thanks again for the reviews! ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #10, by TidalDragon i. the introduction

2nd April 2015:
Howdy Jess!

Since I can't participate in CTF, I'm excited to get the chance to do some reviewing in the battle and I figured there was no better place to start than the novel I'd heard you mention in a status update awhile ago.

I have to say, I was very impressed by this intro. Often I find they're too direct or too fast (or both), but here you captured that balance between characterization and setting the stage that is so crucial! I liked the snapshots of both important sides of Lucy's life - family and friends and the dynamics you established for each. The "black market" idea is a really inventive kick-on from what the Weasley twins got up to during (and after) their Hogwarts years and I'm interested to see how it plays out.

I also thought your description and word choice were impeccable. I'm woeful with description most of the time as my writing in that area tends to be overly direct and, as a result, less considered, but you again displayed great balance to take us inside the cramped car, give us the feel of the antics of the store, and other moments without getting overly elaborate with your language or excessively detailed.

An auspicious start! I'm excited to continue!

#TEAMRED

Author's Response: hi! sorry this response took so long :\

ahh I really think pacing is something I still tend to struggle with from time to time so this makes me happy :) if I plan, pacing is good, but this first chapter was written without MUCH of an official plan. I kind of just let it wander where it wanted to go... at any rate, it seemed to have turned out okay!

thank you so much for the review! ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #11, by Snowdrop Selkie i. the introduction

31st March 2015:
*screeches appreciatively* *goes underwater*

Ahem, that's better. Apologies for almost deafening you, it's been a long time since I've left the black lake in search of something to read and I had forgotten how I sound above water. Please excuse my english as well, I would speak in Mermish but very few people understand it these days...

Anyways! Your summary is brilliant, it really enticed me in to a very intriguing first chapter. I've never had much interest in Lucy stories before but I couldn't swim by the chance to read this one.

I really like Lucy. I love how she's the rebel/black sheep of the family! Who would have thought Percy Weasley's youngest daughter would be running the black market of Hogwarts? I bet Fred and George would be proud. Also, Molly seems insufferable, if I was Lucy I probably would have hurled a ton of seaweed at her.

Lucy's group of friends seem pretty awesome too and I really liked how you didn't portray them as stereotypical Hufflepuffs. I really want to learn more about what exactly Nox involves (other than rouge bags of flour and confundus charms), I could see it potentially getting them into some sticky situations in the future.

In short, I really enjoyed this introductory chapter and I'll definitely be back to read more!

Snowdrop Selkie

Author's Response: *garbles basic mermish back*

hi! thank you so much for this review ^.^ I'm glad you came up from the water to give it a read ;)

fred and george would definitely be proud, I feel. but 210% not perfecy if he ever finds out :p or audrey. they'd both shriek and not know what to do with themselves.

thanks for stopping by!

- jess, xo


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Review #12, by alicia and anne i. the introduction

15th March 2015:
Now this summary seems very promising! And I am a tad (a lot) excited about starting this.

And it's a Lucy story! This has made my day, I love Lucy stories. :D Haha oh Lucy, having to put up with listening to Molly's talk about herself. That would drive me insane! She is so much like her father, isn't she? :P

Uh-oh! What are Molly and Audrey up to? If I were Lucy I would be scared.

Hahah I love that Molly went out in a storm to tell them about her saving the day during that exam hahaha. That's just brilliant and so like something some of my family would do! I am the Lucy in this situation haha.

Lucy totally has a right to be 'moody' about that, I would go mad at her!

She keeps her wand in the glove box? I don't know why I find this so hilarious? Hehe

Oh I feel Lucy's pain about people yelling shot gun and moaning about who gets to sit where in the car! I go through the exact same thing and I have had to threaten to leave quite a few times to actually get anyone to choose a seat.

I absolutely love that they have their own business! And it is such an awesome business at that!

This is amazing! I can't wait to read more of this awesome fic! And I am favouriting it right now so that I can keep track of it! This is such a brilliant idea for a fic! You have such a talent for writing comedy and I'm so excited to read more!

Author's Response: hi!

aw, I love your reviewing style. it's funny to see how ideas and reactions develop throughout reading the chapter rather than as a summary at the end heheh

lucy is one of my favourite next gens! she's so unrepresented as a MC in fic though I find it hard to find stories about her sometimes

honestly the seat choosing thing is my LIFE. whether with family or friends. the only thing is I'm the pushover so I'm usually poor little orla who ends up in the backseat in the middle, squished up :p also I'm typically the smallest so (again) I end up in a similar situation to orla's with the "but you're the thinnest!!" argument haha

aw, thank you so much for favouriting it! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much reviews like these make my day :D but a talent for comedy? I'd have to disagree, though I am trying.

anyway, thanks so much for this review! much love

- jess, xo


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Review #13, by TheHeirOfSlytherin i. the introduction

4th March 2015:
Oh, my God. I have a new favorite story and it is called Chaos Theory.

I love Lucy. I'd much rather be her friend than Molly's. Not including the invasion of privacy or the scary love for education (seriously, who would care about an error and call it saving the exam?), Lucy is just so much cooler and has an awesome business. With her friends. I'd so love to be part of her business. :D

I love her friends already, especially Kit (so far). I can't wait to know more about them as the story continues.

I'm very excited right now!

Sam.

Author's Response: oh my god I was not prepared to read this when I clicked onto the review! thank you so much bless you omg.

lucy is definitely the coolest sister. the molly/lucy dynamic and their feelings for each other are going to be explored much later in the novel but it's gonna be gooD I PROMISE. I would love to be part of that business too except I feel like I'm too goody-goody for that kind of stuff ;)

kit is one of my faves, I think! although I love orla as a character very much and love to physically write rowen. Hopefully people become more attatched to the others as I flesh them out!

honestly, thanks so much for this lovely review ily

- Jess, xo


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Review #14, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap i. the introduction

27th February 2015:
Her mother bubbled a greeting with the widest grin set upon her face, her eyes glinting like she alone knew the secrets to the universe and was eagerly anticipating spilling the beans.

So far this is such a fun read. Your writing style is great and I love the way Audrey sounds. She even works for the Ministry, Percy found the perfect wife for himself.

realised question 4.a.ii on the Ancient Runes O.W.L paper had been misprinted at the very last moment’ and somehow saved the whole exam from crumbling to the ground.

Molly sounds like a right brown noser but I think there’s more to her than meets the eye. Maybe? Hopefully?

The Black Market! I think that’s a great idea. Lucy seems like quite the ringleader. I think Percy would be proud but then he’d probably turn really red and yell his head off because, well, she’s not doing something exactly legal. I think Lucy has a great voice too. She’s spunky and her friends sound great as well even though we didn’t get too much dialogue from them.

Author's Response: hi! thank you so much

audrey and percy are my otp ♥ hahah no I'm kidding but they do love each other ya they are the perfect match.

I mean, there's possibly more to molly than meets the eye. or there's possibly not. there's definitely revelations about molly/lucy's relationship to come later in the story BUT a lot of things are still undecided as of yet.

as for nox, I feel like lucy is the sort of unofficial leader of it all yes. she's the most 'businessy' of the five so it only seems right she deals with a lot more of the financial stuff whilst people like will, rowen and orla get their hands dirty with inventing and selling. after all, lucy isn't really a people person.

thanks so much for the review!

- Jess, xo


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Review #15, by tangledconstellations ii. the journey

25th February 2015:
Hey again!

I think I'm hooked on this story - it's got so much energy and it's so great to read. I love your characters, I love how you're really playing with the modern wizarding world. It's so cool! I also love that they love Coke and Dairy Milk. After my own heart..

It's interesting that so much about Hogwarts has changed, but like I said before you're making this wizarding world your own and you're creating your own very new setting for your story. It makes me more intrigued than anything - especially with the altercations to the assessments and also things like uniform. In some ways a bit of the magic is lost too, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense: in the modern world, with technology absolutely everywhere, it seems natural that traditional magical conventions would fade away with the new generations of students. It feels a bit sad - BUT it also feels a bit exciting, trying to comprehend how a magical society can survive and flourish in the modern day.

I really like your characters, I love that you're pushing the boundaries with 'conventional' characters, as always. I think it's so important you're doing that. Like, even if your story is one out of hundreds featuring a lesbian or gay character, but not making a big deal out of it, that's awesome. They shouldn't be a big deal, and casually including them like this is the way to do it, to get rid of sexuality being a novelty, being a 'character trait'. It should just be the norm, obvz in real life, and writing characters like you have here help make that real and helps change perceptions on another front.

Anyway, this was super and I'm really excited about reading the next chapter! I'm gonna be that reviewer: update soon, update soon!!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: hey!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

here, these are all for you because ily and your wonderful reviews.

(coke and dairy milk is so ♥ as well. I feel like those would be my provisions if I was on the hogwarts express. doritos, too.)

I know what you mean about the magic feeling lost. in a way, it is. sadly. a lot of the traditionalism associated with the trios era is gone in this, replaced with a much more modern outlook. of course there's still people like sinistra (in this) who dress like they always have in long, drapy robes but a lot more people are succumbing to a more muggle-esque way of living, so to speak.

yay for lgbtqa inclusion! like you said, sexuality in this is really just a passing thing -- I don't think I've actually explicitly said anyone's sexuality yet, have I? maybe I have idk I can't be bothered to go back and read this chapter. I tried not to. it is going to become more prominent in aspects such as coming out and queer rights activism because these five are not excluded from bullying and not all of them are out yet, anyway. for interests sake though -- lucy is bisexual, rowen is asexual panromantic, orla is demisexual, will is (the token) heterosexual and kit is bisexual too. mostly, I'm going to focus on monosexual privilege and biphobia.

anyway I'm just rambling now really aren't I?? sorry I'm just super hyped about this novel haha

glad you enjoyed! don't worry about being THAT reviewer, I enjoy those reviewers because they motivate me ;)

thanks for reading!!

- jess, xo


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Review #16, by tangledconstellations i. the introduction

25th February 2015:
Heyy Jess! ♥

I've been meaning to read this for a while but real life ugh. I love the idea behind this - it's so cool, and so funny! I think Lucy is perfect for the main character, especially considering Percy is her dad and he would probably go mental if he knew what she was doing. I love that you've really thought out her character and I'm positive that she's gonna remain devoid of stereotype like she has here. Like, right now she's a rebel and it's awesome - she is literally unpredictable and independent and it's great.

I also love how real you've made next-gen feel. I've always really struggled with it, I don't know why. I think how broad it is intimidates me haha. But I really like it here. Maybe it's because you've put more of British emphasis on it - like with the footie, with the swearing, with the wrestling for the seats in the car. These guys are literally just like people I went to sixth form with ahaha. And it makes me love them! I really feel like I know them and it's cool to instantly have a connection to characters and root for them. The world you've set up is so coherent and doesn't necessarily depend on what 'next-gen' is like in my head - which is good. You've made it your own.

The sisterly dynamic you've set up is also really interesting because it adds a different dimension to the story. It makes me think of Ron a lot, with that massive chip on his shoulder because he's so overshadowed by his brothers. It makes you think about the character on a new level and question their motives a lot more when it's kinda like their being attacked from all sides with expectation.

Eep this was super good and I'm gonna carry on reading! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: hey!

ugh I know tell me about it. I'd been meaning to write this story for several months before I actually got round to it haha. I can't promise lucy is NEVER going to fall into stereotypes but I can promise she's going to be an interesting, sour, sarcastic character we all love-to-hate for most of the novel, if not it all. there is going to be a big focus on maturing and character development though so who knows?;) (me. i know.)

aw, bless you no I promise next gen is not as big and scary as you think. I mostly just write as if they were teenagers in this day and age which is particularly prominent in this because of the muggle subculture lucy and some of her friends are into. but yesss!! I was sooo hoping to get across the sort of 'typical sixth formers' type thing oh my god I'm glad somebody got it this makes me insanely happy.

(hint: the molly/lucy dynamic is going to get a whole lot more interesting towards the end)

thank you eternally for this wonderful review! I hope you enjoy ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #17, by crestwood i. the introduction

3rd February 2015:
Hi, I'm finally here for our swap! I totally fell asleep last night after reading this because college has been messing with my sleep :P

I want to preface this by saying I am pretty massively excited about this story. This is one of the best first chapters I've read in a long time. I usually get into stories I like a few chapters in, but here I am clearly seeing the start of something great.

I love Lucy as a main character. I've never seen it other than in Starving Artists, so it's really welcome to see. I'm also loving the underachiever angle. Overbearing parents and a 'perfect' sister can make for a very snarky character. Also--MUGGLE AUDREY. That'd definitely explain why she never showed up in the books, wouldn't it?

Wow, that's a bit off that Molly looked through her grades like that. I'd be pretty mad about that. I'm glad she cut her off and left because I need more characters that totally do not care about being rude. They're the most fun.

I agree, exams are stupid--although I'm quite good at testing--I still think they're stupid. I think people are too complex to break them down into correct or incorrect multiple choice questions.

The 'Divination. Doesn't count.' line made me laugh so hard because that's what I always said about my classes like 'film study' or 'creative writing.' (I still haven't really wrapped my mind around the fact that some people take art classes and don't have the time of their lives)

Muggle sports are really funny to read about in hpff, I think I've almost forgotten that they exist and Quidditch isn't real.

This--'Sacrifice, Lucy thought as she pulled the car into an empty bay, was a funny thing.' was excellent.

I love a bunch of witches and wizards driving around in a car. There's something kind of comical about them knowing how to use Muggle things. And CDs as well, so much fun :D

Okay, and now to the truly extraordinary part of this chapter--a Hogwarts black market!! And they do market analytics! Also, if I'm not mistaken, they're Hufflepuffs? I love seeing Puffs break the rules most of all.

Swapping parchment for paper is something I made Teddy in TNCAD do funnily enough. Also, I really like the phrase 'low-level popularised.'

A dyslexic character? That's not something you see every day around here. I really appreciate different kinds of disorders getting written about.

I'm just so excited about this story. I've saved it to my favorites and everything and I'll be anticipating the upcoming chapters :D

Author's Response: Hey! No worries, I completely sympathise :p you get your sleep, it's more worthwhile than writing a review for some stranger on the internet haha.

I want to preface this response (is it still allowed to be a preface even after that initial stuff above??) by saying your excitement makes me want to stuff my face into a pillow and scream -- reviews like this make me so giDDY! It still amazes me that even anybody likes my writing, and that may seem a little self-deprecating but it's true. This community is the nicest little corner on the internet and I love it so so much.

Anyway, sappy, emotional me over, let's get down to responding :p

Lucy is a strange one. I wish I could tell you WHY I chose her out of ALL the next gen bunch to be my starring character but I honestly can't even remember the reason any more. She just fit into my ideas. Perfectly. I didn't quite realise she was so uncommon though? I think I've read a few things with her as the main POV character. Still, she DOES need more love from the HPFF community *hugs Lucy to my chest*

Muggle Audrey has to be my honest-to-God favourite headcanon ever. It just FITS! Wow, I blame a lot of things on 'just fitting' don't I? Hahahaha oh dear me. I just like it. There, that's a little better :D and you're right, it would explain why she was never featured in the stories!

Writing such a rude character has been my favourite experience of this so far. Lucy's nice to her friends but not the nicest person overall. She's pessimistic, grouchy and down right horrible to be around sometimes, but she's my special little snowflake and I love the moody girl anyhow :p

Yay! I made someone laugh! That line was totally inspired from something I've said before I'm not even going to lie. People are like "you got 3 A*s at XX level!?" and I'm like "yea, but one of those was leisure and tourism so it doesn't really count ya feel??". Divination definitely sounds like one of those fobbed subjects nobody really takes seriously as an 'academia'.

Honestly, writing about football and driving (even in passing) really threw me. I felt like I was writing OF at times, even with wands in their hands. It was so surreal. Honestly. The weirdest.

YES, THEY ARE HUFFLEPUFFS! How did you know this??? Did I already tell people??? Is it in this chapter??? WHO CARES THEY'RE HUFFLEPUFFS AND THE FACT THEY BREAK THE RULES MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER I KNOW TELL ME ABOUT IT. They'd fit right at home in Slytherin with their ambition, or Ravenclaw with their life knowledge or even Gryffindor because you gotta be brave to run an illegal black market at your school, but they're 'Puffs and I'm so proud of them :p

Hey yeah, I picked up on that when I read THCAD! It made me smile -- camaraderie in paper not parchment! And Lisa has begun to write a dyslexic Lysander in one of her WIPs too which is great. One of my close friends has dyslexia which is where I took some of my inspiration from for his learning disability. It made me think 'why aren't there more characters with things like this around??' because honestly it's not even that RARE. I love it. I'm loving the new diversity wave on HPFF and glad I'm getting more involved and vocal within it.

Wow, thank you so much for saving to your favourites! Honestly, reading was enough and then reviewing was even better. Nonetheless, I appreciate it a lot thank you!! Your review is gr8 ;)

- Jess, xo


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Review #18, by Ravenclaw333 i. the introduction

2nd February 2015:
Hiya! i actually read this a couple days ago when you first posted it (but i'm awful at reviewing) anyway. i am so excited for this story - magical/muggle interaction? innovations to the hogwarts school system? a BLACK MARKET in muggle stationery? i am so here for all of that and i can't wait to see what you do with it. i already love this bunch and the cameraderie between them, and you did a good job setting up lucy's character. looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Hey!

(literally. aren't we all? I'm pretty sure I'm still a few chapter-reviews behind on PFI I just never remember/have the time to review when I'm actually reading the chapters???)

Your excitement makes me giddy. I'm glad you like the premise of the story, I hope it's going to turn out great!:D If it doesn't I will literally dig my own grave I will be that disappointed in myself. Oh. :(

But anyway, bright thoughts and good expectations -- support like this makes me smile! Thank you so much for reading (and TAKING THE TIME TO COME BACK AND REVIEW DAYS LATER OMG???)!

- Jess, xo


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Review #19, by toomanycurls i. the introduction

2nd February 2015:
Hello!!

I'm so sorry at being slow for getting this in - My day kind of got away from me.

Coming of age stories always fascinate me. That's such a tumultuous time in life and it's such a relief to read about it being a struggle for witches and wizards as well. Molly sounds like a handful and then some. I would not like to have a sibling who managed to brag as much as she seems to. Though, I do see quite the similarity in personality to Percy at that age. I can't help but agree with Lucy about grades and privacy - even in a world as relaxed as the wizarding world, I would think they would pay attention to protecting personal information (and that Molly could get in trouble for viewing her sister's scores).

I have to agree with Lucy about exams not being the end all when it comes to assessing one's intelligence or potential. Molly has to brag a lot if Kit has heard her NEWT grades that much. Also, it would be frustrating to not have the subject you're good at to be seen as worthwhile to family.

Not sure why this fascinates me so much, but I adore the idea of wizards driving about. I love the idea of them all meeting up and going out together - there's something very youthful about it which I like.

So, wait, I am confused about Lucy's age here. I thought people got NEWTs at the end of the 7th year. I love the idea of them being in business to sell muggle items at Hogwarts. Their analysis seems quite thorough which makes me smile. Nox is a nifty business name. ^_^ I would miss that kind of venture myself if it had to end.

You've done a great job showing the group of friends and how they work as a team (close to family). I really like the chapter title scheme too - it kind of reminds me of the Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship (I think) with the funky format and giving two ideas for the chapter contnet.

It'll be interseting to see how the story takes shape in coming chapters!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi, no worries! My apologies for such a late response, too.

Coming-of-age just happens to be one of my favourite genres, which is why I'm looking forward to writing this so much. There's going to be buckets and buckets of character development and questioning of morals I honestly caN'T WAIT! Molly is a main feature in this development and will be a great focus much later on, too. Hopefully Lucy and Molly can work it out by the end of the story but that's still up for debate :p

Interestingly, although you took the comment of "divination. doesn't count" to be a view translated from her parents, it's actually one of the masses rather than something more personal. I understand the misconception and it will be cleared up later in, but Lucy actually isn't all that fond of divination herself -- she only took the subject because it was stupidly easy and she knew she could make things up as she went along and still get a good grade. Astronomy is her true passion, but sometimes the things we're best at aren't necessarily what we enjoy to do the most.

The car is such a cute little thing. It wasn't really an important thing to include but I wanted to showcase how invested into the Muggle subculture Lucy is, so much so that she owns and drives a car with ease.

I can see why the age thing may be confusing. Here, I'm beginning with a different educational system (although SPOILER it is going to revert back to a system more familiar and reminiscent of the way Harry and co got their grades). If you're familiar with the English education system, Sixth/Seventh Year exams as Lucy knows them are similar to the separate qualifications of AS levels (Entry NEWTs) and A levels (Full NEWTs) in England. Lucy and co also do coursework now too and rather than just the one exam at the end of Seventh Year they do REAL exams at the end of Sixth Year AND Seventh Year -- it's broken down into multiple units so there's less to cover and remember each year. Hm, I don't know if I'm explaining this very well, but it is going to be covered in the 2nd and 3rd chapter where I will hopefully do a better job of explaining what I mean :p

I'm glad I translated the closeness of the five okay :D that's something I'm scared I'm going to lose as the cast for this story is fairly large. I really want to show them as being tight knit though; they are the very best of friends.

And, oooh yes the titles are similar to TFWMS -- I hope Lisa doesn't mind! I did mean to put the [or] part in the chapter summary instead, though, but yes overall I decided to have a sort of two-chapter scheme going on (partly inspired by TFWMS) because I wanted to show the contrast between normalised titles and a more exposed, raw thing reflective of Lucy's mind.

Thank you so much for the exchange and I'm glad you enjoyed!

- Jess, xo


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Review #20, by AdinaPuff i. the introduction

2nd February 2015:
Hi, Jess!

I love Lucy so far. I feel really bad for her about the bad grades--and how Molly's such an overachiever. And I can't imagine being the daughter of Percy and not being good at school. Dear goodness that's probably harsh.

I like how she and Kit are close. They're cute. I'm shipping it.

WHOA GIRL YOU'RE CRAZY. I didn't expect this. Selling all these muggle products in Hogwarts as a black market. You're crazy. I love it. I've always thought that Hogwarts needed a muggle black market... okay so I actually didn't BUT I WISH I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT YOU GENIUS.

I love it so so much. I can't wait for the next chapters. Update soon!

- Leigh xxx

Author's Response: Hi there! ^.^

Poor Lucy. Like, can you honestly imagine? Poor girl. I bet Percy wasn't happy to discover she doesn't go above and beyond for her education :p

HELLO THERE NO SHIPPING ALLOWED OF THESE TWO CHARACTERS IN PARTICULAR SORRY MY FRIEND ;) I mean, it could potentially work but nah. it's not going to. we ain't going there, unfortunately ;) (THEY ARE LIKE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS THOUGH??? MAYBE BEST FRIENDS? CAN THIS BE A BROMANCE INSTEAD?)

I'm going to take 'you're crazy' as a compliment?? :P I'M GOING TO OWN IT YESS! I wish I could take the credit, but I will admit that a lot of the muggleborn au's on tumblr really inspired me to think "hey, why not??? why couldn't there be something similar???" I'm glad that it's working out (so far) :D

Thank you so much for the kind review and for taking the time to read and review!! Much appreciated :)

- Jess, xo


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Review #21, by UnluckyStar57 i. the introduction

2nd February 2015:
Here for our swap! :D

Okay, first of all, YES. SO MUCH YES. I love Next Gen, and I love Lucy Weasley, and I love stories about the Hogwarts Black Market. And I love that the whole Black Market thing didn't come in until the end, so now I have to wait in suspense for the next chapter! :O

Alright, Lucy: She's lesser-known than the other Wotters, and one of my favorite versions of her character is the one that seems to be present in this story. The less-than-perfect younger sibling to Molly's "Little Miss Perfect" routine who isn't afraid to be different. (Despite being Percy's child, hahaha.) I think you have a really good idea of Lucy's character and how you want her to be in future chapters.

I also think it's important that you're addressing the whole "test score" issue in this story. I'm a product of the test score mania--so much so that my mood depends on my grade. (And even though I know that I'm not the most intelligent person, it feels great to maintain a 4.0, y'know?) So I can relate to Lucy, no matter how different our circumstances might be. She's got one more year of school, and she's feeling the pressure from her mum and her older sister to get a "good Ministry job," which is not what she wants. And she obviously didn't score as high in the Entry Level NEWTs as Audrey wanted her to, but that doesn't mean she isn't smart. She just has greater interest in other areas... :D

One thing that I spotted that was out of place: You said that Audrey Weasley works in "tangent" with the Ministry, and I think you might've meant "tandem." But ignore me if that wasn't your intention. :)

Kit, Orla, and Will seem like interesting characters. I feel like I know much more about Kit than the other two, but I have a feeling that they'll be more vocal and present in future chapters. :) Also, it's really cool that Orla is of Polynesian descent. Did she transfer to Hogwarts, or did she grow up in the UK?

The black market operation that the team is running sounds like something really magical. I love that you sort of set it up, with it starting out small and growing into something that (under more normal circumstances) other people would admire. (I mean, I admire it as it is, but I don't think Percy would.) And I hope that they can find some way to put their shrewd business skills to use after Hogwarts so that Nox doesn't go to waste. :)

In summary, this was a marvelous chapter, and I can assure you that I will be waiting for the next one!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hey there!

Well, I do apologise for the 'cliffhanger' of sorts ;) I'm unsure if this will disappoint you to discover Nox isn't ACTUALLY going to be the main focus of the plot, but another group whose name is Finis (hint: they're not running their own black market. it's something more.)

Yes, Lucy is definitely that girl! She's your pessimistic ray of sunshine, rude and eye-rolling and entirely disinterested in anything and everything her sister has to say. Although they were close when they were younger most of their life has practically been a competition (despite their age gap) so is it any wonder Lucy turned out so bitter.

Test score mania is the worst. I - too - am prone to excessive dependency on doing well although I am taking steps to reduce that, which I think are working out quite well! That part is important to the overall arc of the story and the commentary on social pressures to do well in exams.

Thanks for the word pointing out! Upon further inspection I actually didn't mean 'tangent' OR 'tandem' haha, about to fix it now to correctly reflect what I wanted to put (both words are very similar to my meaning, just slightly off).

I can understand you feeling slightly more connected to Kit, currently :) I totally get that don't worry! I feel as if I almost understand his character the most too but that's just from delving into him a little more. Of course, more shall come on the others as the chapters progress!

Orla has a pretty interesting backstory which I'm (hoping) to bring in some where along the lines but brief overview is this: her mum is Romilda Vane (white british) who got pregnant after a short, holiday romance on one of the Polynesian islands (I haven't quite decided which yet. Possibly Hawaii, but I might make it ambiguous). She never kept in contact with Orla's dad and so had nobody to turn to when she returned to Britain and discovered she was pregnant. So, Orla grew up in the UK with her mother (and grandparents) and has never known who her father is.

Oh certainly Nox is admired by a lot of people! Namely, the students to which it serves :P I'm sure Percy would be exponentially proud if they weren't selling things to MINORS, ILLEGALLY haha. Bless. But, I mean, who knows where the skills of Nox shall lead ;)

Thank you so so much for such a lovely, long and detailed review. I enjoyed the review swap and loved your fic as well!! :)

- Jess, xo


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