Reading Reviews for Falling Out
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unicorn_Charm Not About Love

30th August 2015:
Ok so I should be sleeping. But I saw this story summary and thought, "Ooh!! Fiona! She's my girl!" and had no choice but to read this.

Draco/Rose?! I've never heard of this paring before, but I must admit, I am no very tempted to find more. I have a total guilty pleasure with the whole "older man" fics. Probably because of my love for like Colin Firth and Gary Oldman. The age difference is about the same, and I'd be totally alright with either of them. :) Anyhoo...

I will never listen to Extraordinary Machine the same way again! And I mean that in a totally awesome, this story was amazing, I so loved it way! Oh it was so angsty and everything Fiona. You're way too brilliant! ♥

Draco getting divorced and turning into a recluse. I could see that. I love how he didn't realize who she was at first and just saw her as another pretty barmaid. Rose knew exactly who he was. I suppose that was part of the appeal. A forbidden affair. How much more exciting can you get for a 21 year old?

But yeah, I'm sure the age difference, and Draco's sunny disposition would start to wear on you. It can only be exciting for so long and you did a great job, while using the song, to describe that.

Falling out of love sucks. It can happen just as easily as falling in love. Without warning. And this song used to be one of my anthems when I was in my early 20's. I actually had a relationship kind of similar. The guy was older (not as much as an age gap as here though) and all of this kind of rang true to what I went through. The not liking my friends, not wanting to go out to bars, not having much in common, it only being exciting because we were sneaking around, him wanting to turn me into a nice little housewife at the age of 22, him talking down to me because of my age. Nope. I felt this story SO much!

Oh and the end! I was like, "Yes! Leave Rose! It's not worth it! You'll find someone better, I promise."

I loved this! You took one of my favorite songs and turned it into another amazing piece of work (because your writing is one of my favorites!) AND introduced me to a new pairing that I can totally dig. Just amazing work! *worshippy*

I'm glad I decided to stalk your AP this morning, instead of sleeping like I really should be. I mean, it's 7am now. :p

Much love,
Meg ♥

Author's Response: BEEN TAKING SO LONG TO REPLY TO REVIEWS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I'm usually so speedy!

Definitely part of it is that this review is one I really wanted to reply to WELL, since it brings up so many thingz!

I once saw a Draco/Rose story (the one I mention in the A/N) and I was all like "WHAaAaA?" But then again, I don't actually really /ship/ things, and I'm usually down for anything that's done in an interesting way (like that story). So while I'm not into Dramione, I could theoretically get behind a really messy, middle-aged, post-epilogue, canon compliant Dramione.

SO SPEAKING OF DRAMIONE, that was kind of the impetus here. Like, Dramione and ScoRose are definitely the two most popular ships, and there's a reason for that (forbidden-ness, opposites, etc). So here, I kind of smashed the concepts of Dramione and ScoRose together, taking the worst of both and the best of neither, and making something much more problematic in the process.

And yeah, THIS SONG. It's just... SO GOOD. It perfectly captures the morning after an all-night fight, and a relationship falling apart. I really tried to unpack every single lyric and make the story 100% around the song.

I too had an age-difference relationship (though I was in my late teens, and the gap was only 8 years rather than decades), and so I used a LOT from that experience here. Like, it's practically autobiographical, so I'm really glad it resonated with you. I think there's this kind of trope about the younger woman/mistress wanting to play house and make a real relationship while the older man is just having fun, but I feel like that doesn't match the every reality I've ever seen or experienced. At least in my case, it was definitely the older guy wanting to make a Proper Relationship while I was like "WOOHOO ISN'T THIS FUN AND ODD."

And then, yeah, Draco. My headcanon is that he sort of redeems himself by spending the rest of his life all reclusive, and in a sort of self-imposed penance. So here, once Rose starts making him Happy and Present again, he reverts back to being a D-Bag. Like, he can only be good if he's sad.

If you liked this, and are interested in the idea of Drose, would def check out "falling away with you" by patronus_charm. It's definitely very different and a bit more positive, but I found it really interesting. Interesting enough that I was like "I WANNA DO ONE."

EE! Meg, thank you so much for this review, and for always leaving such amazing reviews!


 Report Review

Review #2, by TidalDragon Not About Love

24th August 2015:
Well, I read this one too because...Draco/Rose...WHAT?! Though this is more a retrospective than a true exploratory piece, it still caught my attention and was interesting to me for a lot of reasons. Though never so extreme there are, in some respects, echoes of my own life in this tale that make it a little weird and unsettling - namely the fundamental misunderstanding two people can have of each other when they're both reaching for a connection - not even love perhaps - and then it's supposed to become something, but they wind up disconcerted with what it is, one more so than the other (the instigator), but the both of them in the end.

I'll be honest and say I can't see how this would play out truly in Next Gen on the realism scale, but it certainly makes you think and I think works well with the song you selected.

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: HA! So Rose/Draco is def NOT my headcanon or anything. I just saw one listed as such and was all like WHAaAaA?!?!?! And then it totally did have a lot of potent ideas for nuance.

In a way, this was sort of a response to the cults of Dramione and ScoRose. Like, I lot of elements of both relationships that people often find appealing are here, except done in a totally opposite and terrible way. Like a mix-and-match, where I only took the worst stuff.

And then yeah, I just LOVE this song for being such an apt portrait of an all-night-argument leading to the dissolution of a relationship.

I'm really glad that you found whatever threads resonant, because I wanted to draw upon the kind of universal applicability of this song (the details might be different, but the FEELING is there).

And also thanks for being brave enough to read a self-proclaimed Drose!

 Report Review

Review #3, by Frankie05 Not About Love

11th August 2015:
This was strangely beautiful. I'll admit I was a bit nervous reading something with such a huge age gap but you handled it so gracefully. Well as graceful as angst gets!

I like how from the get go we realize that this relationship is toxic and probably a bit borninf. Fighting all the time, not sleeping, the fact she is pretty disgusted by his receding hairline. (Why are they even together?!) and then you come in with an explanation. He was different. She was young. It was a secret. Things kept in the dark always seem like a great idea until a light is shown on them. It's not fair to either of them to expect them to behave the age of the other. She's not in her 40s and he's not in his 20s. (Plus there's the fact that she is Ron Weasley's child which makes me question even further why Malfoy would do something like this:)

But then as you repeated throughout the story and within the song. This isn't about love. I don't think it ever was. And I think you did a great job portraying that!

Author's Response: Yee! Thank you so much for this amazing surprise review! And oh yes, this is def not a pairing I /ship/.

I'm really glad that you think I gave an explanation for why they got together in a compelling way, yet still didn't make it seem like a good thing. That was definitely something I wanted to do here and I'm so glad it worked!

Thanks again soso much for stopping by and taking the time to leave such a beautiful and well-written review :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by TreacleTart Not About Love

5th May 2015:
Hi again!

Once more, I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! Go Team Red!

Where to start with this one? I've never read a songfic before, so this was a new experience for me. I thought the lyrics tied in quite nicely with the story you were telling. It honestly didn't really even read as a song. I mean intellectually I know they were lyrics, but they kind of blended into what you were writing.

I've also never read a Rose/Draco pairing. I'm not sure this would be a ship that I would get on board with, but I do think you've handled it quite well. The youthful innocence in Rose is very clear. You make mention of how dating an older man is exciting as long as it's an affair, but once he wants her to settle down, it suddenly becomes something mundane. I thought that really seemed believable in regards to a twenty year old. Coming from where she's come from, it would be natural that she wasn't jaded enough to know better yet.

Once again, I want to comment on the lovely quality of your writing. You do a fantastic job with description and flow. Your sentence structure is just so lovely.

Another good read!


Author's Response: Yee! I'm so glad that the lyrics didn't /feel/ like lyrics! That's exactly what I was going for! I tried to draw out the song and illustrate the meaning of the lyrics through scenes, with the goal being that the lyrics read more as Rose's internal monologue.

Rose/Draco is def not something I SHIP. It is inherently problematic and icky and weird, which is exactly why I thought it was so interesting to write about. I was in an age-difference relationship in my late teens (smaller age difference, but also much darker), so I certainly called upon a lot of personal experience. But it is def not supposed to be romantic.

Plus, I thought it was sort of fun to take two of the most popular ships (Dramione and ScoRose), and sort of mix them up and subvert them in a very problematic way. Like, all of the issues of both without any of the sexiness of either.

I'm really glad you mentioned description here, because I worry that this story is too much telling without enough showing. I'm super glad you found the language engaging!


 Report Review

Review #5, by Unwritten Curse Not About Love

5th May 2015:
Hi again! I had to read something else of yours because I loved the first piece so much. And I think I love this one even more, if that's possible.

I haven't read many songfics because I often think that the song is irrelevant or sometimes it takes away from the plot--like, the plot couldn't exist without the song, which isn't a good thing in my opinion. BUT yours is SO well done. The story could exist without the song--it stands on its own. But the song supports it beautifully, so beautifully that I can't imagine them apart.

I was a little bit worried when I saw this was a Rose/Draco, but you handled the age difference tastefully. I love the bits of conversation you threw in, and the detail about their faces at the end--Rose's being fierce and Draco's being weary--was so well done. It all felt very real to me.

Oh man. You've made a fan of me, that's for sure.

- Gina

Author's Response: Hello!
Oh yes, I wasn't going to be CASUAL about that age difference ;) This is no fluffy pairing to be shipped, more to shake one's head over and go "oh boy, what a mess."

I know what you mean about songfics, and I definitely didn't want these lyrics to just sort of sit on top and enhance the story. In my first draft I actually had them all woven into the story itself, but then realized that was against TOS. It worked because the song is itself a bit of a story, but vague enough that I could create my own specific scenes to draw it out.

Thank you so much for the review! If you ever want to long-term swap something, let me know!


 Report Review

Review #6, by patronus_charm Not About Love

13th April 2015:
I actually love Draco/Rose so much and I thought I was the only one to write a one-shot about them, so when I saw you had too I had to read this because there has to be more love for this pairing! ♥ And congrats on winning the Songfic challenge as I can see why after reading this :D

I have to quickly comment on the lyrics to the song because you presented them really nicely if that makes sense? :P I also thought they were so fitting for the overall story and added so much to it and I really enjoyed it :D

I really liked the little segments to the story because even though the actual story itself was very short once you took away the song lyrics, you built up such a strong story and I felt as if I really knew all the context to their relationship and the dynamic to it too, so that was really great and an impressive bit of writing!

Iím not sure quite how to describe the mood of the story Ė sombre, melancholy, bittersweet? Well, whatever it was I really loved it as it had this beautiful yet sad to it and that was really carried through in your description because you chose it very carefully and each bit of it had a purpose and meaning and showed a different aspect to Draco and Roseís relationship. I feel as if Iím not explaining it properly, but either way I loved it!

This was quite a sad portrayal of these two but a fitting one too. I suppose Draco would always find it hard to get over the Pureblood ideal of a woman if that makes sense hence why he had to mould Rose into his version of her, and she was the typical independent woman and fought against it. Even though I really, really love this pairing, in a way, Iím glad that it came to an end as you did a great job of showing how even though they had this almost toxic, passionate form of love, it wouldnít work as they were too different.

Great story! ♥


Author's Response: YOU!!! You are the one who wrote that amazing Rose/Draco story! I read it forever ago and LOVED it but couldn't find it again! That story was totally the inspiration for this :) I've been telling every reviewer that I read an amazing Rose/Draco and now I'll totally be putting in a shout-out in my A/N :)

The formatting on the lyrics was a weird necessity that I ended up really liking :P Like, because they're lyrics, the grammar is a bit odd ("The early cars already are" instead of "are already"), and I wanted to try and present the rhythm with the formatting. Then Crestwood suggested using the line "falling out" as a title and I realized that fit the way the lines kind of fall off the page!

Your comments about the mood make me really happy :) I wanted this whole story to really flow out of the song, rather than just have the lyrics enhance the text. That's also why it's so short--I tried to time it out so someone could listen to the song while reading and it would take about as long. This song has a really complex tone (beautiful, bittersweet, hopeful, exhausted, sad) and goes through a lot of key changes, and I wanted to mirror that here. It was weirdly fun to sort all that out :P

This was also partly inspired by JKR's recent comments about Draco/her distress over him being romanticized. I wanted to write a story that included Draco in a romantic situation that ALSO corresponded with her comments about him, if that makes sense? Like, I was SO stoked to see you'd written Draco/Rose, because it's such an inherently interesting pairing--it sort of harkens to Dramione or ScoRose in a weird way, but then also subverts it? Like, it would have all the interesting problems of either of those pairings, with the addition of a massive age-gap.

I also kept this short because I think this pairing could be interpreted a lot of different ways, so I thought if I left enough of it open that people might write their own!

Thank you SO much for the review, I'm SO happy to have found your story again!


 Report Review

Review #7, by Rebecca Sutter Not About Love

11th April 2015:
Hello Roisin.

A little birdie told me you have some theories about who Lila is, so I just had to stop by and leave you a little review.

Honestly, I'm not really the love-dovey type. For me it's just been about trusting someone, and I thought I could trust Wes. And that was a terrible mistake on my part.

But the story was great, though. I can see why she'd like an older man. Lila did too. Of course it got her killed, but hey... it could possibily end better for Rose. At least her guy wasn't married at the time, just an ex-death eater instead. And that's much safer, right?

I don't understand what it is about these older guys. Why do they always regret it when things get serious. Like Lila for example, she got preggers and well... got killed really. And Draco's just ends it all when they're official. I don't get, I really don't.

But Lila's waiting for me, so I'm going to have to run. See ya around the forums, Roisin.

- Rebecca Sutter

Author's Response: Ah hello!

So I'm not quite equal to a proper guess yet, but I /will/ wiggle my eyebrows and point meaningfully at the HTGAWM adaptation collab...

Ha, it's funny that in this context 'ex-witch-nazi' does indeed turn out to be safer than 'psych professor.'

And yeah, any relationship that starts as a secret is probably going to have some fundamental problem. Sneaking around can only be fun for a little while, and once that's lost its appeal, there might not be enough left to sustain it :(

Thank you so much for the surprise review!!! :D

 Report Review

Review #8, by BookDinosaur Not About Love

11th April 2015:
Hello! I'm here with a (terribly, terribly late) review for this story as an entry to the Songfic Challenge! It's not like I even have a reason, please forgive me for being so late.

Oh my, the pairing in this! I've only ever read one Rose/Draco before, and like this one, it ended rather sadly. It's such a - I hesitate to say weird, but it's definitely not in the realm of normal - odd pairing, for lack of a better word, and yet when it's written this well you can't really help but enjoy it. :D Or maybe that's just me, but still.

(I love the term May/December relationship. It's so poetic, oh my days and the metaphor things that you did with that was so perfect.)

But no, I need to talk about the song! This is a songfic challenge, after all. First things first: even if I can never remember the full name of that album of hers, I really enjoy the music that I've listened to, and this song was no exception! And then you've managed to do what most songfics aim to do and that's have the fic match the song so well, tonally, the two of them just feel right together. Like you're missing something if you don't listen to the music while reading this. (Am I sounding crazy? I'm sorry. I'll try to be more coherent.)

I love the way that you've stylised the lyrics as well - very poetic in the way that you've structured it.

I think you've done a fabulous job with the characters and their interactions - I can perfectly imagine Draco ending up like this in his middle age, sort of desperate, sort of broken, you know? And Rose - she's a bit flighty, well meaning but never wanting to settle down.

Their romance is something I find so, so realistic, the way that at first, when they met up, it was something secret and clandestine and Rose found it very exciting and Draco didn't have the time or the exposure to her for them to get on each others' nerves. And then when they moved their relationship from "affair" to "official" it's as though there was nothing really there for them any more, like all that was keeping the relationship alive was the secrecy and the thrill that came from that, if I'm even making sense, and that's something that a lot of stories centring around the 'forbidden romance' trope don't touch on, so thank you for that! It was so interesting and refreshing to read. I think this quote summed it up perfectly: "Without it, all she had was him, and he just hadn't been enough. 'Affair' had felt thrilling, made her feel so much older than twenty-one. 'Relationship' had felt confining, and only served to remind her how old he was."

Your descriptions are so lovely, as well. I kind of want to whine about how short it is, and how I want more, but at the same time this was satisfying, so it'd only be serving my own purposes to tell you that. :P It is short, but it's not too short.

I've probably rambled on long enough now; I have no idea how coherent I managed to be and I don't really want to look back and check. This story was so realistic and well-written, and a pleasure to read - thank you for writing it, and for entering it into my challenge! ♥


Author's Response: Hello! Oh my gosh thank you so much for this amazing review!

I really love this song because I think it captures the mood and nuance of this sort of situation SO perfectly, so I'm HUGELY glad that you think the story channeled the song and felt realistic :) I very much wanted to have the story flow out of the lyrics, rather than just being enhanced by them. Like, sort of as an extrapolation (every paragraph is just one of the lines fleshed out and given narrative). And I'm really happy you thought the lyrics worked well in context. I went back and forth on that, because I knew they had to be clearly distinct from the story for TOS reasons, but I still wanted them to feel like /part of/ the story so I went for a thing where it might read like Rose's internal monologue.

But yeah, definitely an odd pairing! I might have read the same story as you (Rose is an artist and they meet in a gallery?) I thought it was such an interesting idea, and I knew I wanted to do this song, and YEAH a Draco/Rose pairing sort of has to end badly so I decided it was perfect :P In an odd way, Draco/Rose is like everything that might go wrong in Dramione or ScoRose, with the added complication of a MASSIVE AGE DIFFERENCE.

I'm really glad you liked this interpretation of Draco! I too am very interested in an interpretation of him as sort of /broken./ I have two upcoming fics where middle-aged Draco crops up (to varying levels of sympathy) because it's such an interesting character to write! I'm also glad you picked up on Rose being a bit 'flighty.' It's not a characterization I often see, but one I can totally imagine!

The shortness of it is something pretty much every reviewer has agreed upon, but I'm glad you find it satisfying anyway :) Part of the reason for its brevity is that I wanted it to take as long to read as it takes to listen to the song, and tried when possible to kind of time them together? Like, very much emphasis on the Song aspect of SongFic.

Thank you SO much for hosting this challenge. I looked up songfics for the fundraising review challenge and like ALL of them were entries :P

And this review made me squee and grin like a fool :D


 Report Review

Review #9, by Sakura Sweetie Not About Love

4th April 2015:
Hi there! Happy Spring! Happy Easter! -sprinkles sakura petals all over Roisin-
This story is one of those interesting stories with a very peculiar and unique pairing that I can totally get behind -- I've never thought about Draco and Rose before but the way you wrote it, even with the unhappy ending, actually makes me think that it's the sort of ship I can totally ship (what can I say? I am a big fan of them rare and unique pairings. And May/December relationships! Yes, sign me up please!)

The use of the song for this fic is very well done; you managed to weave a story that really fit the mood and lyrics of the song. While the fic could and will stand on its own really well, it is perfectly enhanced by the way you put the verses in there. I am finding myself feeling quite like Rose -- falling out of love is one of the most painful emotions anyone can go through.

You make me want to see more of their story before it reached such sad end, not because your story was incomplete but more because it was written so compellingly. Thank you for sharing..

--Sakura Sweetie

Author's Response: Ah hello! Yee, I always get so giddy and appreciative of anon reviews!

I read a Rose/Draco story a while back and thought it was such an interesting and potent idea! Age-difference relationships and affairs are a really complicated business, and I'm super interested in the idea of broken/middle-aged Draco. But yeah, this is very much a doomed ship.

The fic definitely flowed out of the song. The whole story was basically just me drawing out the lyrics and tone, so I'm glad you think it could stand alone!

Thank you sososososo much for this lovely review--totally made my week!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Red_headed_juliet Not About Love

16th March 2015:
Hello! Here for our swap, if you've still got some time when you get this! Sorry it took me so long (impromptu s'mores).


Normally I'm not a big fan of Draco things, because I generally don't like Draco as a character, however I've found I rather enjoy him shipped with Rose, and you've only added to my liking of the pairing.

I think that you incorporated the message and tone of the song into the story seamlessly, while weaving together a coherent and connecting background story, conflict, and resolution in a surprisingly short amount of words. Both characters are original, genuine, and multi-faceted. I especially found the comparison between 'affair' and 'relationship' to really highlight both of their faults, something you don't see often enough.

I enjoyed this very much, thank you for the swap!

Until next time!

Author's Response: Impromptu s'mores are the best kind of s'mores ;)

Drose is SUCH a weird pairing, RIGHT?! I just sort of love it. Particularly because it isn't really allowed to be fluffy, and has to be COMPLEX and DYNAMIC and A BIT ICKY instead.

The story definitely flowed out of the song. I basically just drew out each lyric into a paragraph to make it, and illustrated the ideas with scenes.

Thank you so much for the review and swap!

 Report Review

Review #11, by randomwriter Not About Love

14th March 2015:
Hey Roisin! I stumbled on this accidentally, and I really wanted to read it because I'm a major Scorpius/Rose shipper, and this pairing made me quite curious as it is, I suppose, quite rare. Also, I've heard so much about your writing, and I really wanted to check some of it out for myself. I've read a bit before, but nowhere near enough.

Firstly, I want to tell you that I really enjoy your writing style. It's both compact and fluid at the same time. It flows really nicely, but it is very to the point. I often find that when that happens, the author compromises on description, which wasn't the case with your writing.

I think the song worked really well with the story. I loved how you structured it. It was poetic, to look at, and left me feeling like there was more to come, as if all the lyrics were missing ellipses at the end. Quite interesting, that. It made me want to read more and more and more. I could complain, saying that this was lovely, and I wish it was longer, but I feel as if you've conveyed everything so well, despite how few words you've used, so maybe it's best that this is short. It's like a short burst of, heavy on impact. Anyway, all this is besides the point. What I was going to tell you is that I love the way you've used the song lyrics. It worked in tandem with the story, and each section was almost like a snapshot into what was going to happen next.To add to this, I haven't heard the song. But the words really fit the story, so good job on that!

Your descriptions are lovely. I wish I could write like that. You managed to leave me with a vivid mental image, especially the first bit. I could just see this whole scene playing out in front of my eyes- Draco, withering in front of Rose, who just wants to live. Their relationship was doomed.

I really loved the characterisation here. The contrast between Rose and Draco, two total opposites was really interesting. I like how Rose lives for the thrill, and doesn't really want to be tied down, while Draco is more muted in his views and desires. Without being explicit, you manage to convey to the reader how different they are, and how far apart they are in age and lifestyle. We also understand why it was more exciting for Rose when they were sneaking around than when they went official. It's funny though that Draco, of all people, would want to make his relationship with Rose Weasley public. I suppose life has pushed him about and changed him quite a bit in the years that have passed between the war an this scene here. I've written Draco before, but never like this in his middle aged years- broken and hollow. It's an interesting take on his future.

As for how you've written them here, it's clear that you have a firm handle on how to write relationships. It was so realistic, and I didn't find a single moment out of place, you know? It fits. I especially loved the part where you brought out how Draco twists Rose's own words and uses them against her. It's actually a fairly common reasons for unnecessary fights. The way you wrote them, we got to see two sides of Rose and their relationship as well.

I know I said earlier that this was too short, but that was only because I enjoyed your writing. In terms of this piece, I'd say that ti was just right. I struggle with brevity, and this really left me feeling jealous. Also, you somehow always have the perfect words and phrases. Nothing seemed out of place.

Anyway, great job on this one shot, and I hope to read more of your writing soon! ♥

Author's Response: Ah, hello! Thank you so much for this amazing surprise review :D

I read a story a while back featuring this pairing (I can't remember who it was by, but it was for the rarepair challenge and it's really good). I thought it was such an interesting idea and wanted to try my hand at it. And since this was for the SongFic challenge, I thought it suited "Not About Love" really well. The entire story is based on the the song, and everything that happens is very much an expansion on the lyrics. Originally, the lyrics were subtly nested or adapted into the text itself, but I realized that broke the TOS rules for songfics, so I changed it to be compliant. I'd kind of intended them to read almost as Rose's inner monologue.

I am so insanely flattered by what you said about "compact yet fluid" and that you thought there was enough description! I realized it was a big story to capture within such a finite moment, so I'm really glad it left you wanting more but still feeling like it was complete.

The idea of a "broken and hollow" middle aged Draco is SO interesting to me! Middle-aged Draco might be my new favorite thing to write. I'm also super interested in Snape as a character, but for both of them, it's their kind of messy ambiguity that I love. I do understand the kind of fan attraction to Draco, but at the same time, I have a hard time thinking he has a Heart Of Gold Underneath It All. Or at least, I think he's most interesting when he's flawed ;)

Ooh yes, the twisting words thing was something I picked up in the lyrics, and thought was super apt ("too take information / given at close range / for the... ammunition round"). Or at least, that's how I interpreted the lyrics. I'm super glad it seemed realistic to you! And yeah, it was kind of an economical choice too--this is such a short piece, that I wanted it to work also as a device for expanding on both their characters and showing some of their sources of conflict.

Thank you again so so so so so much! This review has left me grinning like an absolute fool!

 Report Review

Review #12, by crestwood Not About Love

23rd January 2015:
Hi Roisin! Here to give my thoughts on this.

First out of all, the song is perfect for this and something that stuck out was the way you structured the lyrics. It gave me this mental image of the words kind of falling off of a page, which was ideal for this story for a number of different reasons. And while I'm complimenting things that aren't even really your writing, the banner was so incredibly enticing. I stared at it for quite a while before even opening this story. It's simple, but the empty space works so well and the windswept hair in the corner opposite the phrase 'falling out' and just everything about it perfect and a genuine work of art to compliment the work of art inside of this story.

Your descriptions make me so jealous, like, you don't even know. You know how I struggle with them, so I hope you realize I am not kidding when I say that I am actually jealous. You set the mood in this cinematic way. It's like one establishing shot to start things off and we immediately understand What's Going On.

I went to finish this review and the banner has changed haha. Rest assured, I like this one too.

I love the way you've twisted Rose's words and had Draco spit them back at her is one of my favorite depictions of a failing relationship ever. I mean just characterization wise, it's the most clever way to give us both positive and negative interpretations of Rose within a paragraph that say enough to literally center an entire story around. And your word choice always just feels very right. It's as if you always pick the absolute optimal turn of phrase every single time.

Throwing the Death Eater past at Draco would be all too effective a way to scald during an argument.

I caught the May/December metaphor before I read your Author's Note!! I feel really accomplished having deduced that.

Middle aged recluse Draco is something I am so surprised I haven't thought of before. The description of him when they first got together are so excellent, I don't really even know how to tell you. Like, where do you get these words that allow me to see things so clearly??

I understand and very much enjoy the concept of sneaking around > being a couple in the open. I can only imagine that the shift from meeting in the middle of the night in foreign inns to these 'silent' dinners would be quite telling, especially considering the fact that Rose previously commented on how they had very little in common. And I'm sure they both took some flak for all of this, which only makes it that much worse that it wasn't really even worth it.

This feels like a realistic romantic comedy. Or possibly just on the other side of one. I sometimes feel that a lot of the quirks that the characters in those films have would actually start to grate on each other and eventually develop into something resembling this. Especially with a pairing like this, I'm so happy to see someone writing such a realistic depiction of two people growing apart. I don't see many stories like this at all actually, but I can't see a Rose/Draco going any other way honestly.

I honestly just think this is the latest in a string of groundbreaking, wonderful stories that you've shared with this site and I just can't really believe that it's possible for someone to constantly write so beautifully and purposefully so as to force me to hang on every word they say, but here we are. Loved it, loved it, loved it.

Author's Response: JOEY!1!1!

*screams* *flails* *grins* *repeats*

I lovelovelove this song, and think it's such an ACCURATE picture of a 'stay up all night arguing and then relationship ends' scenario. The story DEFINITELY followed the song. Like, I tried to tease apart every individual line and verse to create the story (the original draft failed at complying with songfic standards, and all the lyrics were subtly nested into the text itself).

'Words falling off the page'--this is why the title you came up with is SO GOOD! THANK YOU!

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO HAPPY! So with descriptions/language, part of it is that I do creative writing classes and do tons of freewrites. Those aren't themselves very good, but it helps me come up with individual words or sentences. Plus, I cheat with HPFF, and recycle EVERY nice line or phrase ('ragged ache,' describing air as 'thick,' so on). Also, I make weird hand gestures and faces while I write when I'm trying to come up with words :P And then because I love this song so much, I borrowed heavily from its style, and the way it sets 'establishing shots' and mood.

I really really really enjoyed writing the 'twisting words' paragraph, because that's SO how fights work! And I really loved the original line "to take information, given at close range... for the ammunition round," and wanted to express that concretely. Your compliments on that section make me squee and flail so much!

Haha, I didn't even THINK to put in the May/December metaphor until WTM mentioned it. Then I was all like, OOOH METAPHOR!

I'm so weirdly drawn to the idea of middle-aged Draco. Like, that he manages redemption through rather tragic penance. I had a much larger story in my head, here, wherein Rose was the first person he started feeling good around. And then when he broke out of his self-determined punishment, he began being kind of a prat again. Not a nice idea, but an interesting one. So yeah, gaining access to this recluse in a covert affair, and feeling joy at making them happy falls apart once you Go Public, because then prat!Draco wakes up.

I love that you mentioned 'romantic comedy'! I'm sure you're familiar with the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope and its feminist critique, and I really wanted Rose to be a subversion of that archetype. This story is very 'post quirky indie rom com.'

That was such a nice thing to say! GOSH! THANK YOU! I don't even know what to say!

 Report Review

Review #13, by CambAngst Not About Love

22nd January 2015:
Hi! Song fics are tough to do justice to. I was excited to see what you would do with this.

I'll start by admitting that I don't know the song. I listened to the 90 second preview to get a feel for the mood. I thought it had an intimate sort of feel to it, light on the production with vocals that are conversational in a way. I imagined the singer on the stage of a small club or lounge.

Taking all that into account painted an interesting picture of the rocky sort of relationship that we see coming to an end in your story. The imagery fit well: Draco slouched in a chair, dragging on a butt, trying to somehow convince Rose to be the lover that he wants by talking down to her like a child. She's plainly not a child, and it seems that it's more Draco than her who's living in a fantasy. At least in the long term. In the short term, she's the one living a fantasy, but she tacitly acknowledges that their affair is a fantasy. A life lived in the moment in the darkness of night. Draco has convinced himself that he can change that relationship into a proper thing, suitable for the light of day.

The length of the piece was good for the subject matter. You provided everything we really need to know about how things got to this point, and you didn't belabor the moment.

I really love the contrast between Rose, who lives for the thrill of an illicit affair, and Draco, who wants to turn it into something more. It's an obvious role reversal relative to conventional gender roles in this type of relationship, but it fits the two characters to a T.

Your writing was lovely. Congrats on your editing; I didn't see a single typo or grammatical problem.

Great job!

Author's Response: !Ah! Thank you!

I really recommend checking out the music video--it's like, amazingly perfect, and surprisingly funny (Zach Galifinakis lip-synching Fiona Apple).

I really love what you said about the gender reversal. I hadn't even thought of that! We do tend to see "younger woman thinks he'll stick with her / older guy is just messing her around" in the media. In RL, though, I feel like I've generally seen it as the guy who thinks he can make it real, and the younger girl just playing around. INTERESTING.

And really, I think some relationships can seem really thrilling as a secret affair, but are quite ugly if you try to pass them off as a Real Thing (like, well, THIS ONE. There is something inherently unsettling about the concept of Draco/Rose. Like if someone tried to legit ship it without flaws).

I first read this pairing in the RarePair challenge, and thought the author did really interesting things with it. Then Rowling said the whole "uh, yeah, it's creepy to love Draco" thing, so then I kind of HAD to write it!

Thank you so much for reviewing this! I'll admit I was pretty nervous about it!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login