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Reading Reviews for Red
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DobbyLover She Did It

21st January 2016:
I'm really enjoying your story. Impressively cannon and refreshingly unique. Well done! :)

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Review #2, by writeyourheartout She Did It

22nd January 2015:
Hello Maelody! ^.^

I couldn't help but notice the incredible number of reviews you've been leaving people lately, and so I just wanted to return the favor! It's honestly so kind of you and I know you've made a ton of people just beyond happy with your generosity and warmth! ♥

This is so adorable! I love James/Lily and I think you did an excellent job showcasing how they might have finally come together!

I think your choice to write the story in this setting, where they're on rounds together, was a really clever decision. It allowed for a slow build between them; a tale in which we weren't thrown head-first into massive amounts of fluff and flirtations and sugary-sweetness that just always feels like too much right at the beginning of a fic. Instead we get to see them interact almost like a normal pair of friends, with just small moments of cuteness here and there that slowly built towards the ending (WHICH I SHALL SQUEE ABOUT LATER IN THIS REVIEW. OMG.)

I'm also really glad you included the effects of the war in this story, too. A lot of Marauder stories - James/Lily fics in particular - tend to gloss over the fact that horrible things are happening around them because they'd rather write something strictly fluffy or funny, but the inclusion makes their relationship and the fact that they're drawn more towards each other now feel all the more authentic and purposeful.

Omg, this Forbidden Forrest date between Sirius and Alice sounds hilarious! I can only imagine what in the world they got up to in there! You could totally write a companion piece to this about the date, you know... ;)

THE WAY SHE ASKS HIM OUT IS JUST TOO FLIPPIN' CUTE! *SQUEE* It was totally unexpected, too! Well, I mean, I assumed something would happen between them before the end of the story, but I was not even somewhat expecting it to be that or to have been done in that fashion! hahaha It was adorably awkward and entirely perfect.

And then James is such a little twerp about it! Bahahaha Too funny. "I dunno." - LOL

Awww! The ending is just beyond squee-worthy! When he shouts it out in the hall that she asked him out... hahaha So many feels. I'm all smiles now. And the fact they stayed up all night talking and sharing memories is so sweet. I'm all giddy, Mae. I love these two together. ♥

So, my only critique is that I noticed you change tenses rather often between past and present. Here's a good example: “Hey, cheer up now.” James awkwardly *nudged Lily’s side, not sure of what else to do. She **sniffles and looks up, putting the summer in the past. Nothing good ever came out of worrying. James ***was right. This ** **is their seventh year, and they had to make the best out of it. James *** **continued once he figured it was safe to do so. - *past tense **turns to present ***turns back to past ** **turns back to present *** **turns back to past - I think the majority of the story was told in past tense, so if you decide to go back and edit, I would keep an eye out for any present tense words/moments! But even with those little details, the story was still a complete joy to read!

You did a really great job with this, Mae. I thoroughly enjoyed it! And thank you again for the massive amounts of incredible reviews you've been passing out. I know you've made endless people's day with your kind words, and I hope my review does the same for you. ♥

Tanya

Author's Response: Tanya! You're the sweetest! *hugs*

Just so you know, you came just a tad bit too early! I already have this back in the queue because I read it through when it was validated and edited it once more. So hopefully, if you come back to it ever, you'll notice I already made those changes! But thank you for pointing them out. I've grown way more conscious of them, but they're still my weakness! :)

Really, hun. You're too sweet. Honestly, I just wanted people to get reviews they deserved. I've decided from now on, there will never be a story that I read where I don't review it. I'm not really all that helpful with my reviews, but I like to make their days. Even if I do sort of leave slews of reviews for people to read... ;)

I'm glad you like it. :3 I sort of worried about this installment because I think it's the weakest of the four (it took a lot more thought of what should go in it than the others did) and I was worried how it would come out to others.

I have a theme that I want to follow with these four installments when they're all out. I won't spoil it now, but the rounds just sort of fit in perfectly with it. I didn't want to show the moment where she finally fell for him, or what she would do if he did something romantic. I wanted to show something where a lot of that has already happened, and this is just the time that she decided: "You know what? Now is the time I think we can go on a date."

Yay! I'm so happy you liked that, too! I (again) worried about that for the exact reasons you stated. People like the fluffy, funny side of the marauder era. Sometimes, it's almost like people forget Voldemort was really taking ownership here. There were giants rampaging. Lily and James defeated him three trice before the tender age of 21.

Oooh, that'd be fun! ;) Maybe, one day. If I ever find time after the other billion fics I want to write! xD

I like adorably awkward Lily. I mean, she was friends with Snape, who was always awkward. So she couldn't have been totally put together in the sense that she didn't have an odd thought here or there. I hate always mad Lily, though I know she has a temper, but always for good reason. She's just one of those characters I totally want to get to know better, because I think she would do something like this. This little short story is something that'll end up being sorta like what my head-canon between the two would have been like. :3

Ahhh, James. He couldn't let her get by with a casual asking out, now could he? There's gotta be something that causes a bit of a challenge in there. ;)

D'aaw. I'm glad you're all giddy. Thanks! :3 I'm just incredibly happy you enjoyed it! I love your writing, so it sort of makes me squee over here too that you read something of mine. :3 Thank you so much, Tanya! Honestly, you're such a doll for coming over here! *hugs*

~Mae


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