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Reading Reviews for Artemis
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ABlack 1978

2nd September 2016:
Hello Lo!

Iím here for a belated Gift Tag review. Of course I picked a Sirius tale, because you know, Sirius. Who can resist?

Right from the start, it feels like Iím plunked down right among the boys. You have a knack for really bringing the scene and the Marauders to immediately to life without having to delve deeply.

I love how you have Remus limping from the post effects of transforming. And his friend Artemis is delightful - very sassy, no problem holding her own with James or Sirius. It will be interesting to see how much of her namesake she takes after besides being an archer, like whether she knows about Remus condition - the Greek goddess was affiliated with wild animals, after all.

The archery bit in another writerís hands might have been gimmicky, but here it was refreshing, what with it being a school of magic and all. Itís so easy to get caught up in students learning a new spell, potion, etc, so to see one working on something so non-magical brings a different type of energy into the story.

As for the boys themselves, you nailed their dynamic perfect. Also good to see Peter wasnít neglected.

Overall, itís a great start. Hereís to hoping there will be more!

~Alexis

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Review #2, by NPE 1978

22nd January 2016:
Hi there,

NPE here.

Thanks for the review(s). They were really helpful and appreciated.

Sorry for the delay in getting back. I also saw you wrote two reviews which was wonderful so I will try and find another story of yours to review after this.

I have read your work before. I think it was Supernova. I liked it, but personally I thought this was better.

Your realisations of the Marauders, and their interplay was very well done. Though I am unsure if people used phrases like "whipped" in 70s Britain, it is a minor quibble.

The entire "Sirius and James are arrogant berks but Remus is oddly ok" thing that JKR develops come to the fore here. It was done in a way I really respected too.

The fact Artemis sort of respects Remus, and how he is the least objectionable is a funny concept that is written really well.

The dialogue flows fine, and I liked the influx of archery, Head Boys and Peter Pettigrew "panting".

Something humorous about imagining him scurrying trying to keep pace with them all.

The humbling of Sirius was well played too.

Only two bits of CC. I know it speeds the story along not to have it, but I could have done with more description. Furthermore, we never really saw into their thoughts and as much as I loved follow their actions, this was a slight shame.

Secondly, this sentence is too long.

"When others would ask what had happened in the library that day Artemis McClellan had been driven off in a sullen pout as Sirius Black followed closely behind looking bashful as always, he would just hang his head and chuckle quietly as he always did when asked those sorts of questions, and she would not answer, because who would ask anything of the sort to the girl known to shoot arrows with deadly accuracy with a hot head and a hotter temper?"

Good words in it, needs a full stop somewhere in the middle before the question.

Ok, that's it. Really liked it.

Best,

Nick

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Review #3, by patronus_charm 1978

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey there! ♥

Oooh, you wrote the Marauders so well and made sure their banter was on point with fab lines like this Ė ĎNot to mention heís so whipped heís not even allowed to look in Snivellyís directioní. Iím not quite sure why the idea that James is whipped by Lily is so funny as it seems natural that he would, but it really cracked me up. Maybe it was just the way James said it? I donít know, but you really should win some award for writing them as you really got all their mannerisms perfectly.

OMG ARTEMIS IS SO COOL. I WANT TO MEET HER AND HANG WITH HER AND BE HER FRIEND. Seriously, I didnít think it would be possibly for a fictional character to be so cool but she most definitely is. The way she can put down Peter just like that, her name is super awesome and sheís BFFs with Remus. Yep, sheís officially fabulous.

Omg, it gets even better! James reasons for Sirius not dating Artemis were hilarious, I mean, I know he tranforms into a deer but I didnít realise he would have such a strong emotional connection with them, and Remus as the grammar Nazi. That is just too fab for this words. This story is seriously making me laugh way too much. :P

I need moar! I need to find out what happens between the two of them! Please update soon as this was wonderful! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #4, by DraculoraMalfoy11 1978

9th June 2015:
Hello! I'm here to review the story as I issued one of the challenges this is for. Sorry it's a bit late! I lost all of the information I had on this and had to hunt down the stories that were entered. But I am here now.

I can definitely say I enjoyed this. The Marauders were written very well. I had always imagined Sirius and James as being almost like a couple in their closeness and the scene you had where James latched onto him was beautiful.

The dialogue was hilarious. Most of the lines flowed well and were very humorous. I found myself laughing many of times.

Now, for the Greek Myth part, I believe it was executed very well. Artemis was the kind of character you would expect the actual Artemis to be. Rough and tough and not taking anything from anyone, especially annoying playboys.

Her friendship with Remus was interesting. Artemis wasn't a fan of any men, but I almost feel as though the two of them have a connection through the moon. This probably sounds a bit crazy, but since he's a werewolf and she's the goddess of the moon, it's almost like they have a connection? Maybe?

Anyway, overall an enjoyable tale, and I hope you get the next chapter uploaded soon.

-Hannah

Author's Response: Hi Hannah!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #5, by Microwaved Marshmallow Peep 1978

29th March 2015:
peep peep

Pink marshmallow Peep here, at your service! I'm hanging out in this cold microwave today because it seems like a good place to sit. :)

Oh, James is totally whipped, and Sirius isn't going to let him forget it. :) Sirius's interest in Artemis is even funnier because of James's overreaction. "I'm a deer! I'll die at her merciless hands!" Haha, silly boy.

Remus and Artemis's friendship melts my squishy marshmallow heart. The line "I like bad boys" was my fave. Haha! How I love friendships!

The Greek mythology that plays into Artemis's name and character is very interesting to me. She's the huntress, and isn't she the goddess who doesn't want a boyfriend? I hope so, because that'll make Sirius's attempts to date her even more hilarious.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Oh no, it's the microwave. Someone turned it on. Help! I'm in here!

I like that Artemis is very no-nonsense and quite strong in her convictions. She's not going to hunt animals for funsies, and she's not going to date Sirius Black just because he's a cute boy. Good for her!

10...9...8...

Uh oh, it's nearly time for me to leave you. I can only hope that this microwave didn't get too hot, otherwise... Bad things. I can feel my pink sugar melting down my cheeks, and I don't think it's normal for Peeps to sweat...

Great story, though! Maybe some other Peep will come and chirp at your next chapter (although I don't know about that, because we tend to hibernate in between Easters).

♥Microwaved Marshmallow Peep

BEEEP!!
*explosion*

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #6, by The Basilisk 1978

17th January 2015:
Hiss Hiss. I'm here to petrify you with my review.

Ssso, I really liked this. It was definitely a good start to your story. Your characterisations of the marauders are quite splendid. I love them all. I also like how you've not excluded Peter as some stories tend to do - he was a part of the marauders in school and that can't be denied. So good work on keeping him, and not just in the background but properly.

This Artemis girl is definitely interesting. I like her fiery temper and indifferent attitude to Sirius. Reading the 'chase' between them is certainly fun and I like how Sirius is acting. The friendship between him and James is also very adorable and I' glad you nailed it.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this. Your writing style is good and there's a fine balance between dialogue and description. The plot looksss fun and I'm curious to see where the story is headed. Good job!!!

Cheersss

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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