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Reading Reviews for I Choose You
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn 1

28th April 2017:
Hello again!

I wonder who the protagonist in this story? The opening lines don't give much away, but the Head Boy and Head Girl rounds, coupled with a mention of hazel eyes, then Professor Slughorn, then emerald meeting hazel, makes me guess that this is about James Potter and lily Evans, as told by Lily?

Gosh! The second section is quite raunchy! I must admit, I query whether Lily would be able to see how red James's cheeks are if she thinks that his face is too high up to see it properly.

I really like how the addition of song lyric verses break up this story into sections.

I wonder why Mary (presumably McDonald) would say that James would never be Lily's Prince Charming? Maybe it's because James will never be charming? But there's a certain charm even to Court Jesters!

The way that the story gradually grows darker is very nicely done. We have the happy section, where James surprises Lily with a house, then we move on to the next paragraph about the loss of a family. Has she lost them physically or emotionally? The song lyrics tie in really well with each section.

What a time to propose; just when they have escaped Death Eaters and Voldemort himself! I'm kind of surprised that James took the engagement ring with him on a fight, but maybe he had been intending to propose, they got sidetracked by the dark side and he had to wait until it was over and then took his chance?

Really cute ending! Ahhh :)

Brax X

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Review #2, by BookDinosaur 1

11th April 2015:
Hello again Lo! ♥ A second review for a second entry, and I hope I'm forgiven for the lateness of both. :P

Oh my, this was so beautiful. I'm not crying you're crying. :') Just casually going to pretend that they didn't die, you know. As you do.

But seriously, this was amazing. The song was so perfect - I've heard this song before, actually, but I'd never have thought of matching it with James and Lily until now, and now I'm thinking that this song is perfect for them! Now whenever I hear the song I'm going to be thinking about James and Lily (and not crying. not one bit. not at all hahaha what makes you think that).

The use of lyrics was really clever as well - like your other story, you used the lyrics to partition off each section, each snapshot of James and Lily's time together, and the lyrics suit each section so perfectly, as well, and it just makes it that much more powerful and meaningful for the reader.

I love the way that you told this story, as well, how you kind of show their relationship growing in snapshots - but only snapshots, you didn't really specify what happened before or after because you didn't really need to, you give us enough context from each scene that we can see for ourselves how their relationship is growing and changing and I love that, I really do, I'm so jealous that you could pull it off!

Oh man, and I love the way that you characterised the two of them as well - James in particular I have a large soft spot for, because you've just portrayed him so well, like bringing Lily out to breakfast and forgetting the food, or boasting to Vernon about his broomstick when asked about his car. I love love love that you decided to illustrate his negative traits as well as his positive one, and the result is that you've managed to create an amazingly well-rounded character in this oneshot, and it's honestly such a delight to read.

The relationship between Lily and James was so sweet, and I loved it more than I can say. I love that you had Lily be perfectly aware of all of James' flaws, and consciously decide to work together around them, because she really does love him. James doesn't suddenly turn into the perfect guy for her like he does in so many other stories, and I love that.

Also, before I sign off, because I'm certain that I've rambled on for far too long, I love that Mary, one of Lily's friends, was against the relationship at first. I've never seen that in fanfic, but if I think about it it's a pretty realistic reaction, to be concerned for your friend, because this is a drastic change of face.

Anyway, thank you so much for writing this amazing story and entering it in my challenge! Hopefully the results will be up on the forums soon! ^.^

Emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #3, by nott theodore 1

12th January 2015:
OH MY GOD YOU WROTE ME A STORY YOU WROTE ME A STORY THIS IS AMAZING!

Lo, I can't even write a coherent review right now and I'm really sorry because this is going to just be a mess of rambling and all jumbled up thank yous, but thank you, thank you, thank you for writing me a story! It's so exciting and I still can't really believe that you did this, you're the best Secret Santa ever and this is such a perfect story for me!

Okay, so I want to say that even though James/Lily isn't my OTP at the moment they haven't been replaced and I still love reading about them, so this is perfect, and I don't think I've actually read a story like this one before about them, which traces their relationship from beginning to end in a couple of thousand words, and you did it so brilliantly and gah, it's just amazing!

Also, how on earth did you manage to choose the perfect song? I love Sara Bareilles and I love this song, and to fit it to James and Lily is just so perfect - I'd never have even thought of it in the first place but now reading this, I'm wondering why not. It works so well for them! And I love the way you've chosen just the right lyrics for each section of the story, because that added so much more to it and made it more powerful.

I loved the different sections, and the way that you took us on a journey through their relationship in just short snapshots, not expanding and detailing what went on in between - there was no need for you to write about every moment (there are so many stories that have done that already) because we could imagine it all from seeing the developments between the different scenes.

One of my favourite things about this is that you didn't try and make James appear to be this perfect man - the Prince Charming, as you write here. I always find it so unrealistic that Lily would suddenly find him to be perfect and not get irritated with anything that he does, especially after so many years when he annoyed her with his teasing and immaturity. It seems to be so popular to gloss over that, but I loved the way that here Lily fell in love with the real James - calling him her court jester and showing that she knows what his flaws are and can live with them and love them at the same time, because for me that just captures how I imagine their relationship to be.

I'm so amazed at the way you managed to portray so much in this story - all of the major moments in their relationship, all of the landmarks, so to speak. And yet, in spite of all of these moments being big occasions in their lives, I adored the fact that you didn't exaggerate them at all. I always think it's so easy to make each moment into something perfect and romantic when you're writing a story, but these moments were so real, especially for the time that they were growing up in. Like the marriage proposal - it was perfect, but not because it was traditional in any way. It happened at exactly the right moment for the two of them, and the way that you had James asking when they've just stared death in the face was brilliant.

I think that my favourite of these moments was when James took Lily on a day out, meaning for them to have breakfast and forgetting the actual food :P That's just so realistic and believable for any relationship and that really helped to ground this and make it even better. And then for James to present Lily with their home at the end of that day - ah, I was fangirling so much at that moment it's embarrassing (let's pretend it didn't happen? Secret reader/writer pact, right?)

Even though it was so sad to see how upset Lily was with James for ruining the dinner with Vernon and Petunia, I thought it was great that you included that because it balanced out the story and demonstrated that they more than went through their share of difficulties, rather than having a completely smooth path to love and happiness.

All of these moments were so adorable and sweet though, the first kiss and the 'I love you' moments and then the way that Lily realises James has changed, even if his friends haven't and her friends can't see it. You really did a fantastic job of building up a clear picture of their relationship!

Ah, I meant to say this earlier too (but jumbled review, I'm too excited about having a story written for me) but I love the narrative voice that you use with this! I think you capture Lily really well and I really like the way she addresses these moments to James (you), and that fits in so perfectly with the song too.

The ending! ♥ I was so happy that you chose to end the story there rather than continuing onto becoming parents and their death, because this way it worked so well with the song lyrics, the day that they choose to commit to each other for the rest of their lives. And not just that, but you gave them their happy ending as well and that just made me smile so much!

I'm sorry for this rubbish and rambly review, but I really loved this story, Lo, and I can't believe that you wrote it for me - that's so sweet of you! ♥ ♥ ♥ Thank you!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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