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Reading Reviews for a movement in charcoal.
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by pottered  a movement in charcoal

20th August 2015:
ok so i think i reviewed this when i wasn't on my account yes probably and i see this again and i just /had/ to review again because this is one of my absolute favourite one shots in the history of one shots (you know what, let's ignore the history of one shots part i don't even know where im going with this ohmygod)
ok but my heart!!! this was so, so adorable; just so utterly cute!!! i can't stop smiling. the best part i liked about this was how honest lorcan was and the way he just says james is my muse, aw. also: the /kiss me, painter boy/ part always causes my heart to feel like it's going to pop out of my chest because how sweet!!! and the nick name painter boy, aww just so lovely. and, like, your writing is brilliant so i just loveddd this! (and more to the fact this is, like, quite unique and different to me because I've never read anything similar to it so i love it all the more)
right: over all, i just adore this, like, so much and this is, about, a fourth time im re-reading this.

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Review #2, by alicia and anne a movement in charcoal

26th April 2015:
Oooo that is a great challenge to enter! One of my stories has a chapter that starts with a different letter of the alphabet. I can't imagine how difficult it was to have every sentence be a different letter! I'm so impressed.

They're all flowing together so beautifully! And so effortlessly! It's amazing.

Aw James has missed practice so that Lorcan can draw him! :D This makes me happy!

They're so adorable! And I absolutely love that James is Lorcan's muse!

I absolutely love James' thought processes in this! He obviously cares deeply about Lorcan, and I want Lorcan to realise just how much. Mainly for my own happiness, because I'm being selfish like that :P They'd be so cute together! Zoe who? Am I right?!



GAH! This was beautiful! and the best thing ever! And I'm now so happy and full of fluff and I want to sing from the rooftops and dance around happily!

As you can tell I may have loved this a lot :D

I may have to request millions of stories about them now! Millions upon millions! :D Such a beautiful one shot!

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Review #3, by Red_headed_juliet a movement in charcoal

19th March 2015:
Ok, so I have this noise that I make when I'm excited, and people who love me tell me that it sounds like someone is trying to strangle a rooster as it crows, and I totally just did that. Just so you know.

Also: Kiss me too painter boy! Goodness, he sounds like my type. +]

Anyways, I got on the BvB, and I saw that you wanted a review on something different, but then I got here, and this existed, and now here I am. I will probably go back and read the one you actually want reviewed, but charcoal is my medium, and so I had to stop by.

I love this. I love the way you kept your language in style while adhering to your alphabet challenge. I love the characterization of them both, and the inner turmoil that you've expertly dissected while keeping my attention in this 'closed time closed space' setting. The descriptions are beautiful, and inclusive without them cluttering up the beautiful story.

And getting to the story, I apologize for not having any CC, but you're just too good. Both characters seem to have both flaws and desirable attributes, you established a strong emotional connection to the reader, a very, very good climax and resolution, so yeah! I wish that there was more. Can you make a big story for this?

Until next time!

Author's Response: hah, i am honoured to have produced a rooster-like noise from you! :"D

i love charcoal so much - i am absolute rubbish at art myself but i have a lot of artist friends and it's always my favourite thing to see them work with.

the alphabet challenge seemed really tough at first but once i got into the flow of it, it wasn't too hard to keep my writing in style at the same time! it was actually a lot of fun to challenge myself like that. also when i was first writing this i didn't even expect it to work for the 'closed time closed space' challenge because usually i can't write three sentences without going into a flashback or skipping to another scene, but this one just seemed to come out that way, so i decided to try and finish it without jumping settings! it was a weird writing adjustment again, but i think it was actually easier when i was already messing with my writing style by following the alphabet rule.

oh bless, i'm so glad you liked the characters and their connection. i am honestly very tempted to write a much longer version of james and lorcan's love, but i'm not sure when i'll have time!

thanks so much for reviewing


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Review #4, by Artemis, on behalf of the fanfiction-reading Greek goddesses a movement in charcoal

8th March 2015:
(And here is the second part of my review – I should really have posted them the other way around, so they could be read in chronological order shouldn’t I?)

Athena would probably also like me to say a few words on her behalf, but she’s currently doing some research into the exchange rate between golden drachmas and your mortal pound coins, in the hopes that we will be able to make a donation to keep this extraordinary site running. She has enjoyed some of your other stories, and is also a little obsessed with “tea, feminism, lesbians, and minor characters”. (In case you don’t recognise those words and start to wonder what on earth I’m talking about, they are a direct quote from your author’s page profile.) It is Athena who insists that ‘goddesses’ comes before ‘gods’ in the expression ‘goddesses and gods’.

But how did I get to give the review, you ask? (If you ask not, then you should. It is an important question.) Some trickery may be involved. And a tiger. In fact, it is probably better not to tell that story. But regarding your story, I think it is quite amazing. It flows beautifully. It sews the narrative together seamlessly. It has a natural dialogue and rhythm, and a well-measured balance between dialogue and internal thought. There is something timeless about it. You are an incredible writer.

It is a love story – told over just a few minutes – of which Aphrodite would approve (especially as she’s currently reading stories with happy endings as opposed to those which are heart-breaking, angst-filled. I’m sure she will be furious to hear that we have found and reviewed this “glowing jewel of literature” (that is the Muses contribution to the review – I assure you that they spend a long time discussing how to compose beautiful words to praise beautiful words, though I am not sure they have quite succeeded) without her. However, that is the fate she brings upon herself when she locks herself away to read all the Albus/Gellert stories on the archive and refuses to talk to any of us.

(I must note here that we are all very pleased with the new search pairings and the LGBTQA genre – please inform the other mortals that we think it is an excellent idea.)

To conclude, you have written an incredible story. On behalf of all of the Greek gods, I would like to wish you luck in the alphabetised and the closed time, closed space challenges. Tyche says that she will send you some extra luck for that purpose if she remembers.

The favour of the fanfiction-reading deities from Mount Olympus lies with you! (For today at least, we can be rather fickle.)


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Review #5, by Artemis, on behalf of the fanfiction-reading Greek goddesses a movement in charcoal

8th March 2015:
If, hypothetically, Greek goddesses and gods sit around on Mount Olympus reading fanfiction, this story, your story, would definitely be one that we would fight over to review – ancient Greek deities are very competitive.

As many of the Greek goddesses and gods do sit around on Mount Olympus reading fanfiction, it should not come as surprise that we all wanted to offer a review on this story. Of course, only one goddess or god can review each story, because our power might accidentally destroy the story, which in this case would be rather unfortunate.

'Perfect' is a word we rarely use to describe the work of mortals, but this story, your story, is very nearly perfect.

(Even though it was written in English - I would have preferred Greek or Latin next time maybe? It would be easier to read, and it might grant you a greater readership among mythological persona.)

One might assume that Tyche would be writing this review, because she was the first to discover your story. Fortunately, Tyche was having a day when she was giving good luck to mortals, meaning that she was a champion of ideals such as ‘fair-play’ and ‘equality’ and ‘telling everyone about the fantastic story before you snag the review-from-the-ancient-divinities’. This is the first James/Lorcan story she has read, and she loved it. She said that it made sense – I’m not sure that her comment makes sense, but rest assured that in the eyes of the Greek goddess of luck, your story makes sense.

If it wasn’t Tyche, it probably should have been Nike, because Nike is, after all, the goddess of victory. Fortunately for myself and unfortunately for Nike, Nemesis accused her – that is, Nemesis accused Nike – of having reviewed our favourite stories on this delightful website on the last three occasions, so they began arguing, and Aletheia had to step in to verify the truth. Nike has instructed me to tell you that she loves your story ‘bloom.’ and she was thrilled that you won a Dobby for it. She now says that I must add that she also loves this story. Nemesis tells me to tell you that ‘it isn’t half bad’, which, coming from Nemesis is high praise. Aletheia isn’t a big reader of fanfiction – preferring ordinary fiction, the fool – but asks me to let you know that he quite enjoyed this and thought it was extremely clever how you managed to do the “alphabetically thing” (a direct quote there).

Hedylogos adores this story, but he was too busy waxing poetically about it to Hestia to think about writing a review. Both Hedylogos and Hestia want me to tell you that they think the idea is beautiful, and they adore “the pairing and the words and the idea”. (That is another direct quote, because once again I am not quite sure what they mean.)

Hebe, Eris and Harmiona have all read it, but are now heatedly discussing the idea of paintings made of words so I’m not going to approach them for a comment. However, if Harmiona is heatedly discussing something, you should assume that it was fairly impressive.

Apollo, well, his new iPad exploded while he was reading it and he was forced to borrow Hecate’s to finish reading it. He thought the way you started every sentence with another letter, in perfect alphabetical order, was ‘inspired’, as was naming the ex-girlfriend Zoe. He very much approved that Lorcan was an artist. Hecate read it mostly because Apollo had left it open on her iPhone when he gave it back to her. (Ask not why Apollo couldn’t read it on his new Windows smart phone, but there was a very valid reason.) She says that it was (excuse the direct quote): “Very good. Very, very good. Very, very, very good. Extremely good. Amazingly good. Great? I think it was great. Could you just say great instead of all the ‘very’s? Or maybe fantastic. Was it fantastic? Yes, I think it...” (She continued in this fashion for several minutes.)

(To be continued, because I have apparently exceeded the number of words allowed in a review.)

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Review #6, by mymischiefmanaged a movement in charcoal

10th January 2015:
This is so so beautiful and so so impressive! When I started reading it I tried to notice how each sentence followed the alphabet, but you've done the challenge so well that after a while I completely stopped noticing because I was so caught up in the story.

Technically, this is just brilliant. You've been so clever in keeping to the rules, and your excellent use of brackets, dialogue and one word sentences keeps the story flowing naturally even though you're being so strict and careful with it. And you went through the alphabet so many times! That's such amazing commitment. Also, genius stroke calling the ex "Zoe". Very clever :)

And then the story itself - I love it. I've never considered James/Lorcan as a pairing, and it absolutely works. And Lorcan as an artist is totally believable. I mean, anyone as an artist is believable, but given that Luna's so unconventional and keen for other people to be true to themselves I can see how her son would end up a painter. And you made them Hufflepuffs! I love love love Hufflepuff James. And then you kept their whole relationship so simple and believable, and James's feelings so honest and open, and they're just adorable. It reads like you've not tried to force it at all, even though I'm sure it was exceptionally difficult to write.

I haven't seen any other entries for this challenge but I'd be extremely surprised if this didn't win or at least place. It's honestly so so good. Well done!

Emma x

Author's Response: omg thank you so much for this review, you're an actual darling! i was really hoping the alphabetised-ness wouldn't take away from the story and sound forced so i'm actually glad you stopped noticing it, hehee. it'd be really interesting at one stage to have some people read it without telling them about the alphabet thing and see if they even notice! :P

i thought keeping it alphabetised was gonna be SO hard and i would have to kinda cheat, but really, it was surprisingly inspiring! i was stuck a few times, sure, but for the most part my brain got into the flow of it and then it was very easy to write that way. it was kinda fun to have such a strict rule guiding the story - i feel like it would have gone a very different way if i hadn't been doing it for these challenges.

i've been dying to write a James/Lorcan for ages. i've never read it before, but in my mind i always have Al as queer and i like challenging myself so i thought i would try the other brother, too :P i definitely thought Lorcan as an artist would work because I picture him a lot like Luna - as someone who grew up with a very bizarre mother i can safely say it's hard NOT to turn out a bit like them!

and yes hufflepuff james is perf. i wanted to give them the same house and hufflepuff just seemed perfect. maybe bc i have a few PW characters in hufflepuff, but it's kinda my favourite house! i think that also linked to how loyal they are to their connection, in a way - like, they've stuck it out a long time without falling for other people, and that makes me think of the hufflepuff kind of loyalty.

i am so so glad you liked this, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

~Maia xx

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Review #7, by The_Crookshanks_Saga a movement in charcoal

6th January 2015:
I don't know why I'm bothering to review this as we both know it's just gonna be a bunch of incoherent squeeing but MAIA!!!

I love the way you said that James was a lightness that couldn't be held down by paint and therefore had to be captured in charcoal, I love the way you brought Zoe into it, I love the way this was such a difficult, odd challenge and if it weren't for the fact that you said it was for A-Z in the summary I wouldn't have noticed because your writing was so BEAUTIFUL. Per usual :3

What, and this was for the Closed Time, Closed Space Challenge too??? *shakes head* Maia, you green-haired genius, you.


Author's Response: MEENA!!! i always love your reviews so please never stop bothering to leave them! the incoherent squeeing is just a bonus ;)

i really was wondering how much people would notice the alphabet thing so it's so interesting you said that! in a few months i might, like, do an experiment where i take that out of the summary and see if everyone still notices ;) it was surprising how easy it was to write, actually, once i got into the swing of it!

i am very happy to have the reputation of a green haired genius :P even if i am definitely not a genius and i'm not actually very green haired anymore! (i dyed it brown for work last month but i haven't updated my profile yet bc i'm in denial oops)

thank you so much for this as always lovely review :*

~Maia x

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Review #8, by TheTenthWeasley a movement in charcoal

5th January 2015:
This is wonderful. Truly; your mastery of language is stunning and a refreshing perspective of the world comes through through the story and through Lorcan and James. I adore it.

Author's Response: i literally can't express how much this made my day to read, thank you so much omg

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Review #9, by Dirigible_Plums a movement in charcoal

4th January 2015:
This was so cute. I just - I can't. That is all.

(I'm sorry that none of this is constructive or helpful and barely coherent but I couldn't leave without saying something.)

Author's Response: no omg this is LOVELY, bless :D thanks for reviewing!


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Review #10, by marauderfan a movement in charcoal

4th January 2015:
THE WRITING STYLE IS SO COOOL. Nothing about it feels forced or awkward, which is so amazing considering this is for the alphabetized challenge - rather it flows so beautifully like brush strokes. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

Gah, I love the way you started this out talking about the sun and the shadows painting his face as it's such a vivid image and I can envision it so perfectly.

omg baby pygmy puffs sleeping in the mug cupboard? that is so cute :p /offtopic

I love the way you wrote the hesitation of two people just figuring out their feelings for one another, and how James is simultaneously scared of rejection but realises that maybe it's worth it to put himself out there and say it if it means he has a chance with Lorcan. Their relationship was portrayed so sweetly and feels so genuine, and I like how you used the subject of art as a contrast.

I loved this so much!

Author's Response: omggg thank you so much for this gorgeous review! i'm so glad you liked this weird story - i wrote it in just a few hours and the alphabetic thing was really hard at times so i was worried it would be kinda messy, haha. i'm so so glad you think it flowed well!

i was really trying to give an image there of what lorcan's artwork would look like, with the shadows and everything, so i'm really glad you picked up on that, thank you

i have an obsession with baby pygmy puffs sleeping in weird places. it keeps cropping up in my PW posts too. THEY'RE JUST SO CUTE

thank you so much for this review, i am so glad you liked it hun!

~Maia x

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Review #11, by pottered (Mary) a movement in charcoal

4th January 2015:
ohmygod. This was beyond cute and sweet and just amazing. Their relationship was described so well and the ending had me in happy tears, it was honestly so so beautiful. I think I'm crying. I haven't read anything like this in a while and I love this. (: x

Author's Response: omg, you are so sweet, thank you!! i am so glad you enjoyed it.

~Maia xx

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