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Reading Reviews for [april turner]
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maskedmuggle [the library]

28th June 2015:
Hey!

I really loved this! April Turner seems like such an awesome character, and I really liked how she seemed like such a unique OC - I feel like I haven't read about someone like her before. It was also so fab how she and James met and how they both seem to click together. I really really just liked all the dialogue and how you wrote everything. The one thing I would have to say is that the first section doesn't seem related/link to or add anything to the second part, which is the majority of the fic. I felt like the first section was put in solely to meet the purpose of your challenge, and in a way, I feel like without it, your fic would be even better as it'd be more cohesive. Having said that though, I did really enjoy reading the first part and it was definitely amusing seeing James using the Harry Potter is my dad excuse sarcastically. I almost felt like you could take the first part into another fic and expand on it as another story completely. Just my thoughts, but honestly, I really loved both the first section and the section section - not sure if they work together, but I really love April and James together and want to read more about them!

- Charlotte
Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015

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Review #2, by The Melodramatic Muggle [the library]

30th May 2015:
Hi, Joseph!

[melodrama]
I really left this until the end, didn't I? Goodness me, you are free to hate me forever. I won't blame you. NO. REALLY. I DESERVE IT. -sigh-
BUT. BUT. Even if you do hate me I hope you know first that not only do I not hate you but THANK YOU for showing me the world of magic. When I first heard about magic and Harry Potter and Hogwarts, I was so very confused. Your stories have given this Muggle an opportunity to see more things I shouldn't be saying. This makes me so happy I almost want to cry. BUT NO, MUST NOT CRY. I will keep reading and reviewing.

So, this story. I was so intrigued because you used [] in the title and I wanted to know why. YOU KNOW? I mean, that's such an intriguing way to title a story. I was thinking is there BBCode there? No, really. Is there?
Ok, so there wasn't. But there should be. It should be -- [dramedy][/dramedy] because that perfectly describes this story.

You started off and I was thinking. WOW, Joey wrote a comedy. (I'd read a lot of your other stories before this and had already melted due to them, yanoe.) Ok, anyway, so I was thinking. WOW. Joey wrote a comedy and it's funny and really well done..

DAFEELZ. I had so much feels I felt like I was rolling around the floor because of them, it was THAT GOOD. YES. YES. THAT GOOD. I love when people meet in extraordinarily in such simple ways. And there could be nothing more extraordinary in seeing a girl across the room in a library. There were no bold declarations, no moments of breathlessness nor of violins playing in the background. It was just as simple as a 'hi, nice to meet you' and it would evolve in beautiful ways. -squeals and topples over- I REALLY LOVED IT JOSEPH.

And then the 'dra' part of this dramedy. James. I think I said this in a previous review but if I didn't I will have to admit that upon further examination of this Harry Potter world you live in, I have determined that my favorite Potter is Albus. (I know! Quelle horreur!) but the way you wrote James in this was just. WOW. I CAN FEEL HIS PAIN. HIS PAIN BECAME MY PAIN. I know THAT PRESSURE. I HAVE FELT THAT PRESSURE. (stop shouting!) Ah, yes, I have been exactly where he is. The struggle to do well, to not disappoint the people in your life. And the thinking that you need to go to extreme measures to do that. It's done in the Muggle world to, you know. -nods-

It was beautiful. -sigh- I felt sorry for James and I love the way you portray him in this. It makes me want to read more of your JAMES. I am pretty sure that if you don't write more of this James I will wither and die. Do you want to be responsible for that, Joey? DO YOU? Well, no. GOOD. WRITE MORE OF JAMES. Even a little more is more than nothing.

Wonderful stuff as always,

The Melodramatic Muggle [/melodrama]

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Review #3, by marauderfan [the library]

18th April 2015:
Hello! I'm here with your second of four prize reviews!

I really liked this story (which is no surprise, as I love everything you've written). You have a really neat ability to write these simple scenes but have so much meaning behind them - the majority of this fic is just two friends in the library, but it's so much more.

Was totally not expecting to see Roisin's Alacratus charm and recreational hexing in this story - I had this weird moment when I was like 'wait. two fanfics crossing over. what. yes.' It's so cool to see fics overlap like that and I love it! But more to the point, it really does seem like something that would have happened at Hogwarts, and unsurprisingly with James, who must feel so much pressure to be known for his own accomplishments and not just 'Harry Potter's son who doesn't quite live up to his father's accomplishments.' (But really, who could?)

Speaking of him being Harry Potter's son, I loved how you incorporated that line - both times. The first time, although the professor was not amused, I found it pretty clever :D But rhe contrast between that and the second time was really strong - in the beginning, he's a joker with some snark, remeniscent of 12 year old James in the epilogue. And then the second time he uses that line, it comes with a lot of insecurities and it really shows how much he's struggling with fame and the pressures he puts on himself to be perfect. Poor guy. I'm glad he has April there to help him through it. i love the dynamic of those two by the way - James who gets noticed anytime he walks into a room just because he's James Potter, and April, who kind of floats under the radar, invisible behind books in the library. They're a great sort of yin and yang.

lastly, I can 100% sympathise with April at not wanting to go to the desert hahaha. I live in a desert at the moment and jfkskfkajf. too hot.

wait, another thing. Novel to come?! I will keep my eyes open for that! I'm curious what's up with Albus, and I'd love to see more of James and April.

Great work!!

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Review #4, by merlins beard [the library]

19th March 2015:
I really like the study spell. I think its great that you don't stick tp humour, stories are much more interesting when you change genres a lot. You have a good way of knowing the right time and place for that change.

Author's Response: I actually can't take credit for the study spell at all. It was thought up by Roisin/stillroisin. The idea is used heavily in her novel 'Year Five' and I've used it here because this one-shot (and an upcoming novel by me) is set in the same universe because she's kindly allowed me to add on to her fic's canon. So, all praise goes to her.

I don't think I've written any single genre stories at all. I always want to do ALL THE THINGS with my stories and they end up doing a lot of different stuff in a short amount of time. Thank you for the review!!


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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin [the library]

18th January 2015:
Hey!

So my plan was to come back and review this as soon as I'd validated it, but I got side-tracked. Here now, though. :D

James just really needs a hug. The first time the prompt was used, I definitely saw the humor even if the professor wasn't amused. The second time, you can see more that he's trying to measure up to his family in some way and that's just very sad. But it's a trope I love to read, seeing how James (or any one of Harry's kids) might overcome that. I like to think that the end with April is the start of that.

I like April, she's cool. I hope to see more of her one day, but this glimpse of her was awesome. :)

I really enjoyed this!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam!

I generally like writing about teens feeling like they're disappointing their parents, so Harry's kids are just a goldmine for me. I've got a ton of James headcanon since I've technically written him before, even though it's not up yet. You're right in thinking that the end is the start of some kind of growth.

I'm thinking of giving April a bigger role in another story of mine after writing this. She didn't exist before this, strictly speaking, but she's definitely being worked into other things in this universe.

Thanks for this review!


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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 [the library]

18th January 2015:
Hi again!

I thought this story was really cute. I love the beginning where Potter jokes how he should have preferential treatment for being Harry Potter's son, I thought it was hilarious. Even though now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure what it has to do with the rest of the story. I don't understand why the dates between that scene and him meeting April Turner are so far apart?

But I love both scenes so I can't really complain. I enjoyed how the two spot each other across the room a few times before he finally comes over and introduces himself. I thought that was so cute how he just comes out and says it like that and asks her name. And I like how their friendship built rather slowly, really only taking place in the library, I thought that was a really interesting tidbit how he never sees her outside of the library until the very end. I'm also very surprised your James isn't good at Quidditch and actually thinks he belongs in Slytherin, he's very different from any other James II I've read so far and it's very refreshing.

I'm also very intrigued by the study spell, and how it seems like he's experiencing the same effects as if he were taking high doses of amphetamines. Except it's magic. Except it still can have the nasty side effects. I thought that was a very interesting and original idea to include.

And I love the ending where he asks her to come round to his house during the holidays. I thought it was very cute and I would like to see where their relationship goes from there. This entire story was really well written and enjoyable to read.

xNix

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Review #7, by adluvshp [the library]

16th January 2015:
Hey! Here for the Hot Seat review.

This was an awesome little story. I loved your portrayal of James! It's so different from how I usually read him in fan fiction. Instead of this pompous over-the-head perfect guy, he is just a normal teenager struggling with studies and trying to 'live up' to his parents names. I think it's great what you've done with his characterisation. It gives the story a very fresh theme.

Your writing style was very good too, and I enjoyed the balance between narrative and dialogue - I always love descriptions and you did them well. James and April's gradual friendship was very sweet and I liked how the romantic angle was not stressed but left open to reader's interpretation.

The idea of the study spell thing was very unique too, poor James. I could relate with him, the pressure he felt, and felt for him too. I'm glad he had April with him.

Only one little CC, I noticed you switched the tense (from past to present) at a brief point in the story so I'd suggest going back and fixing it. Rest, it was a very good read and I had a nice time reading it. I would love to read more of your work now too and shall head to your page when I get the time.

Great job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #8, by Maelody [the library]

12th January 2015:
Ooh! I quite like Roisin's 'Year Five' story. I sort of caught on when I saw that she asked if he was Hexing. So the story makes a little more sense to me now.

So I'll admit, though, that I'm a little concerned as to why James would feel that way about his family. Harry wasn't top of his class, so I don't see how he'd expect much pressure there, and Ginny never seemed like the over studious type to me either. So does he mean the general population of the public is looking for him to be great?

Other than that concern, I have one other about the very first bit of story. In History of Magic class. First off, what happened to Professor Binns? (If this is explained in Roisin's story, maybe Im not that far yet and just answer that it's in 'Year Five'). Secondly, it does seem a bit out of place with the rest of the story. It's very funny indeed, and I like it a lot. It has that very James-esque feel to it that everyone has decided he has. But it's a couple years before the setting of the main part of the story and is never brought up again. Actually, it came as quite the shock to me that he could walk in late without care and talk back to professors and then be so studios in the library. Did something happen in the unknown in between?

Other than that, the main part of the story was quite enjoyable. The fact he felt pressured to try the spell that makes him study best by his mates makes more sense to me than him feeling pressured from his parents. I'd imagine he'd be up to try anything if his mates were doing it to continue feeling 'cool'.

April's character is really sweet. I like how everything is sort of unresolved between the actual story with them, but yet we know it's there. I can only imagine that if she crushed on James, she was too nervous to return to the library all the time. Then when she does come, he always takes notice. I'd like to know if they ever become an item, or if they're just a pair of friends. Again, I haven't read all of 'Year Five', so if a lot of my questions will be answered within that story, don't mind me ;).

I did like the story, though. I think James being a studious type brings something new to his character that others don't normally venture out to. Also him not thinking he belongs in Gryffindor is sort of a new thing, too. It's cool to see that he thinks he belongs in Slytherin with his brother.

I do enjoy reading your stories. I feel like I learn a little something new from all of my favorite characters by looking through your perspective. They're all so wonderful and I can't wait to read more!

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Review #9, by Benedrick Campersquatch [the library]

6th January 2015:
A library is the perfect backdrop for a murder. Ideal place to stash a body, ideal conditions for a body to fester undiscovered for two hours, three at the most hours, giving the murderer ample time to escape.

Hello, crestwood. I'm here on behalf of patronus_charm; naturally, she doesn't know this, of course.

I enjoyed your story very much; you've written a very thoughtful portrayal of James. The first half of the story is how he's typically written: all jokester and swagger, but I thought you made an excellent choice breaking down (or breaking through) this veneer in the second part. April is a little bit of a mystery, and I inhale mysteries. They're far better than these weak nicotine patches of mine. I like how she removes James's self-spell and encourages him. I think there's something very touching about that moment; it's exactly the sort of support that James needs - not that I would know anything about this, of course. I find sentiment to be a chemical defect that is distracting more than anything.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the two different ways you used the prompt, how they complemented each other and revealed a really rounded characterisation of James. You are indeed a very talented writer.

Well done.


Benedrick Campersquatch

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Review #10, by Roisin [the library]

6th January 2015:
Joey! Finally got around to reading your AMAZING installment into what I am now calling 'The Hex Head Multiverse!'

I really like how you played James--the way he starts off as cocky (a la, how we saw him in the epilogue), but then when he gets older and we dig deeper, some (logical) insecurities get revealed.

There's a lot of interesting and potent ideas here, so I'll admit I wanted more from this story. Then I remembered, you have an EPIC NOVEL coming out within this universe, so this definitely works as a spin-off/supplement :) Even if he's only a minor character in TC, I'd be stoked to see a few nods to James conflict of character.

Excellent job with this! (Oh, and it was really clever that you used the prompt line twice, in different ways--once where he's being cocky, once where he's admitting his feelings of inadequacy.)

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Roisin! So pumped that you stopped by! And that name is beautiful and worthy of all of the praise I can possibly heap onto it.

I did try to give James a sort of evolving personality. I feel like a lot of times people can be a bit simplistic in their portrayals of him and I just wanted to make him able to FEEL things. I think he has potential to be much more layered than people give him credit for.

Yeah, I know this leaves that feeling of, like, wanting more. That was half purposeful on my part. Or at least acknowledged. Since this is nothing more than a 'missing moment' sort of thing, I didn't want to overlap into the actual narrative of TC. But, I totally wanted to write more. But, I explore all of these themes and more in TC so I shouldn't needlessly delve too far into it all. And etc. I was pretty conflicted about this and will almost certainly edit it at least five times. James has a few times to shine in TC because I tailor my minor characters to eventually do Something Important. I'll have to tweak him after writing this though.

I literally couldn't help but flip the prompt line in an unexpected way. I enter challenges like I do most things--by stretching the rules to their logical extreme. Thank you for the review :)


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Review #11, by missatron [the library]

4th January 2015:
Hello there! This is Missy here, swooping over from the review thread to fufill your requested review!

In your request, you told me that you thought that you had struggled on flow, plot and characterisation. Whilst reading through this, I actually felt rather suprised that you had chosen plot as an area of concern, for I greatly enjoyed watching the plot develop before my eyes. As far as plot goes, I thoroughly enjoyed the one shot. Even though it is fairly simple I like how it was written out and planned. I also found it clever the way you managed to weave in the prompt you were given. It was seamless.

Now onto characterisation. You have clearly chosen to portray James as fairly humble, studious, quiet and insecure. These are often among the traits of a Ravenclaw, like April, but we know that James was sorted into Gryffindor, so unless you didn't want to follow canon, you didn't really have a choice in the matter. In JK Rowling's epilogue, James is more of a bubbly, confident character, very unlike what you have written in this. If quiet was what you were going for, you nailed it. If you were following canon, you may need to address that. April was like typical, girl Ravenclaw. Pretty flawless characterisation.

And now addressing flow. The one shot was mainly written in dialogue which ordinarily has a natural flow to it - each question being answered, and so on. The speech was absolutely fine. One thing I picked up on in your descriptions, was that you used "he" and "she" a lot which disrupted some of the flow. Try and mix it up a bit. Maybe use the name, then describe an object or the whether, or the scene, then use "he" and "she". Hope I'm not being too harsh here.

Overall, this was an enjoyable read. Feel free to re request on another story.

Missy

Author's Response: Hi Missy! This was so quick, wow. I wasn't expecting this until at least tomorrow.

I'm so happy that you thought I did a good job on the plot! I was worried it might seem kind of meandering, like it never got to the point. I tried to approach the prompt in a novel way, so it's great that you mention that.

As for James' characterization--I probably could have gotten some things across better. I'll tell you what I was going for though. Around the time of the first scene, he was a fairly typical Gryffindor. As he got older, he matured a bit more into what I call a 'Neville Gryffindor.' I'm really glad you said that though because now I can go back and edit in a bit more exposition to give an idea of what still makes him fit into his house.

I'll work on my dialogue tags here! I'll try to loosen up on my he's and she's, thank you :)

I'm glad you liked it for the most part, your feedback was really helpful. Thank you for the review!


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Review #12, by pointless_proclamations [the library]

3rd January 2015:
Okay Joseph, I've got some questions for you:
The date. Why be so specific in the first scene and not so afterwards?
Again, why the square brackets?
Where in the world is Albus? What is he up to?
What has April heard about Albus?
Did you mean 'she' rather than 'he' when April says 'don't worry about that?'
Why does April hate deserts?

Your use of the prompt was, as expected, unexpected. It paints an interesting picture of the high correlation of stress and school.

Moving on, I like how you made April's name basically stand for her role in this story. It was spring (possibly April) and she actually turned things around for James. I also like the name Wagner for some reason.

James looks quite insecure to me. He's certainly got a sense of humour, though. The beginning bit was absolutely hilarious. Otherwise, he seems very concerned about his reputation and his father's as well. He succumbs to peer pressure, he doesn't believe he's good at anything, plus he doesn't seem to be able to see the Gryffindor in him. However, his noticing of and going over to talk to April seems like the kind act of a Gryffindor. Anyways, this is a very novel portrayal of James.

April is a lovely character. She's so sweet and incredibly shy. I spy an introvert characterised just wonderfully. An enigmatic nature, you say? She quite the noticer, too I think what with the way she was observing and analysing James's behaviour.

James is quite the noticer too, I suppose. After all, he did notice April after so many years when nobody really seemed to do so.

Ooh and then that line: 'But Harry Potter is my dad.' The two ways you used it! Your story summary is perfect, by the way.

And that ending! Once again, you have set the right tone for what could only be a board game marathon!

This has been quite the pretty little story!

Author's Response: Hi Emilie. I was very specific about that first date because that scene allowed me to pick a single moment in time for it to happen. The second of course, forced me to be a bit more general because of its skipping throughout time, although I wanted to specify more.

I can make a diagram of sorts to show you. A list of people who attend Hogwarts-- James Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, Liam McLaggen, [april turner], etc. She's unnoticed, seemingly an afterthought, lazily scribbled onto the parchment. This metaphorical person didn't even bother to capitalize her name. That's the best explanation I can think to give.

Albus is at Hogwarts at that very moment, getting up to all sorts of things. I would gladly tell you what April has heard about Albus if it wasn't such a gigantic spoiler for Things Change.

I did mean 'she' rather than 'he' and I've submitted that change into the queue. That slipped by my eye completely.

April is a fan of places where spring occurs--Deserts not having a satisfying enough one for her. I imagine that April and Amy from Morbid might get along, if only bonding over their love of the season.

'as expected, unexpected'!!! I love that. You know that I have plenty to say about the way testing affects some students. I've seen this narrative play out in real life and it is not a pretty sight.

So, you've deduced her name's significance. That was a good bit of work there. Wagner was the name of one of my RL high school teachers and the one I wrote here was literally him in personality. I like the name as well.

Thank you about the compliment about the beginning scene! I enjoyed writing that bit of back and forth. He is quite insecure though. The time that passed between the two dates clearly did some work on him.

After writing this, I've retconned James into a slightly more outgoing Neville-like character. I didn't realize the full extent of his personality while writing the first Act of TC because he was a minor character there, but I now have a really solid grasp of what he's like. I do hope it makes him seem interesting and will make his future appearances that much better.

April is certainly an introvert. In fact, that is what drew James to her in the first place. I wanted her shy nature to be seen in a good light here, rather than as a flaw. It did nothing but make her more alluring in his eyes.

I tried to play with the prompt as much as possible. I didn't go anywhere near the direction I was suppose to I bet, but I did have a lot of fun with it and I feel like I did it a bit of justice, so I'm happy with it. Thank you for the compliment about the summary, I was quite proud of it.

Well, this time, it very well could be! The Potter family is a very board gamey kind of family. Harry would be excellent at Stratego.

Thank you for this review, you're always the best!


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