27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLane The Globe

7th March 2018:
Oooh, you hinted there was more to the globe, but I didn't think we'd find out about it this quickly. Not that I know whether we do or not yet. *goes to read*

Hmm, you've just had me wondering if the books ever say how long the Christmas holidays are at Hogwarts. They are two weeks here, ending around the 6th of January when Christmas ends.

*grins at Raven and Nicole only being there for the sweets* Good a reason as any really. And I like the reference to characters having best friends in other houses.

*grins* We were just talking about celebrities and their private lives. In Ireland, it's not that common to know the names of people's children, let alone recognise them. I DO know the names of at least one of our previous president's children, because SHE kept talking about them, but I wouldn't recognise them and I don't know the names of our current president's children or the previous Taoiseach's (our current Taoiseach doesn't have children).

There's a touch of Hermione about Lindsay actually. I only just noticed that. A Muggleborn with a passion for improving the world.

*laughs* Peace for anybody in the wizarding world named Potter...don't think that's going to happen.

The word "learn" is used rather a lot in this sentence: "irst of all, learn how to learn the patronus charm, if you have not learned the spell already." I think the second one might be meant to be "cast" or something.

And ooh, Dementors descending on Britain. I didn't really expect that but it does make sense. Although it does raise the question of whether the Dementor King has some particular interest in Britain or if the place is just random.

That sounds like James, the whole thing about Dracula. And I LOVE your description of Azkaban. It's really atmospheric.

That is REALLY interesting. DID the Auror sense him or was he reacting to something Albus didn't notice? Something that wouldn't man much to Albus. COULD he get out of the globe and reach Albus? The latter doesn't seem likely. If he DID see or sense Albus, did he believe Albus was in the prison? And his reaction seems a bit over the top considering Albus is only a young boy.

Oooh, that part about it being too good to be true sounds ominous. Though I'm pretty sure Harry (and even more so GINNY, given her experiences with the diary) would already have considered the fact it seemed too good to be true and would surely have checked out the magic behind it.

And yeah, being able to see into Azkaban in particular does seem weird.

I DOUBT he is imagining it. It MIGHT not be him the Auror was reacting to, though it sounds as if it was, but even if it's not, I'm sure it's something significant.

*laughs* Rose said just what I did, that Harry and Ginny are hardly likely to be naive when it comes to dark objects.

Poor Albus. A thirteenth birthday is special. It's the only time in your life you become a teenager. And it was sort of spoilt for him.

You've given "Monday" a small "m" in one place.

Spotting a Dementor or somebody under an Invisibility Cloak are the sort of things I was thinking of, but I doubt it's going to be that now Harry mentioned it.

One thing that seems a bit odd is Harry calling Ginny "Ginny" in a letter to Albus. It would be more usual to say "your mum" or "your mother."

*grins* And now Albus has said what I did about Ginny being likely to be wary of magical objects.

I think he should show it to a teacher. Surely some of them would have expertise with magical objects. The obvious choices, Dumbledore and McGonagall, obviously aren't there, but Flitwick might know what to do or if he didn't, he could ask a teacher who did.

This is really weird. If the item was one of a kind, you'd expect it to be extremely expensive, not something one would buy for a 13 year old. I'm guessing maybe somebody WANTED Albus to have it and sold it to Ginny for a reasonable price to ensure it got to him. This seems even more likely given your mention of a "peddler" rather than a shop. That indicates somebody who wants to remain in the shadows or who may not usually sell things but only sold this for a special reason.

I suspect that dream is relevant from the way you say he barely remembered it. Otherwise I would assume you were just letting us know how both Quidditch and Dementors are on his mind. The globe is probably a similar shape to a Quaffle. I wonder if that's relevant.

This chapter is intriguing!

Author's Response: I imagine winter break being about 2 weeks, but you're right in that they never really mention it in the actual books. I just had it end on the 6th because of convenience story-wise.

Characters can definitely have best friends in other houses. I get that most people's friends are in their own house- it makes sense, as you live together- but I know from experience that your best friends aren't necessarily the people who live right next to you.

For the celebrity thing, I was more thinking about the U.S- I know what both Trump and Obama's kids look like, as that sort of thing is more well-known on this side of the pond. But I think Albus would be more recognized in the wizarding world because
1) The wizarding world is incredibly small, so the few celebrities that exist would be more recognized
2) Albus looks a lot like his father and
3) Garrett has been going to the same school as Albus for a year and a half, and would have definitely paid attention to the sorting.

I never really thought about the similarities between Hermione and Lindsey before, but you're right. They are very similar and equally passionate.

*cringe* That sentence with the word "learn" is something I edited shortly before submitting, so I didn't catch that.

This is just speculation, but I think the Dementor King probably has interest in England because that is where he was made.

Unfortunately I can't say much about your theories for obvious reasons, but I do like them :)

Yeah, Ginny is very knowledgable when it comes to dark objects because she was possessed by a diary.

Thanks for reviewing! Love all your ideas. :)

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Review #2, by MargaretLane Family Quidditch

24th February 2018:
Yay, chapter 13 is up. I only realised this morning.

*laughs at Grandma Weasley going to buy the wool for another sweater* That is SO like her.

You've written "most of the relatives didn't even know he was until a few days ago." I'm guessing it should be "didn't know WHO he was" or "didn't know he was coming."

David's life sounds kind of lonely. His parents are in jail, he has no siblings, it sounds as if he has no cousins and his aunt and uncle seem to be busy a lot. So different from the Weasleys' world.

Wow, that crystal ball/globe really IS amazing. And I'm glad it doesn't go inside buildings. There would be all kind of ethical issues with that. I can see this being REALLY useful when they get caught up in mysteries and I BET they will find out something about the Dementor King with it. They'll be able to track him.

I LOVE the fact that Roxanne is such a brilliant Beater. It's a role that usually seems to be filled by boys so it's nice to see a girl who is talented in the role. And George must miss Fred when playing Quidditch.

Yeah, I can imagine it must be awkward for David to meet Neville outside school. It's different for Albus and the others - they knew him as a family friend before they knew him as a teacher.

Author's Response: Yup, it is very like Mrs. Weasley to go out and buy more wool like the day of Christmas.

Yes, I did mean "didn't even know WHO he was". Thanks for catching that.

I know, I like the globe thing too! I wish I had one. I got the inspiration for it from Google Earth, actually, but it is so much cooler than Google Earth. Google Earth doesn't let you see everything that is going on right at that very moment.

Roxanne is a pretty spectacular beater, and she's always been in my mind like that. To be honest I never thought "ooh yay, I'm being revolutionary by having a girl beater". Now that I think about it, I realize that I never hear of girl beaters, but I never thought about it before now.

Yeah, George does miss Fred a lot when it comes to Quidditch. When cooperation is a key part, who better than your twin brother?

Thanks for reviewing Margaret!

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Review #3, by MargaretLane David's Revelation

23rd January 2018:
Oooh, it sounds like I'm going to get the information I've been waiting for. Well, SOME of the information I've been waiting for. There are other things I want to know in this story too, like about the missing child, but this is the immediate one as it's been discussed so much in the previous couple of chapters.

"New Year's" should probably have an apostrophe before the "s".

*grins at Albus saying Hogwarts is less stressful than the previous year* Given that a dark wizard was trying to KILL him then, I don't think that's really saying too much.

*grins at Mrs. Weasley saying Hogwarts isn't feeding them properly* Typical Mrs. Weasley.

Poor Albus. It's hard enough at his age when somebody your own age has a problem. When it's somebody older than you, it's nearly impossible. It seems almost presumptuous to give them advice.

*laughs* I think George would practically DISOWN Fred and Roxanne if they didn't like pranks.

Yikes, I didn't quite expect Albus to find out exactly like that. He must have gotten some shock. I can imagine that David would just want to get the moment over with though.

I was WONDERING how, if his parents were Death Eaters, they were able to have a child what? Seven or ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts? That explanation makes a lot of sense. I never thought of it happening like that. I thought maybe his family were just supporters like the Blacks or that maybe an uncle or aunt or grandparent was a Death Eater. Or that maybe there were so many imprisoned after the war that the less important people were released fairly quickly. But their escaping and only being tracked down later...gosh, no wonder David is so upset by the whole thing. It would be bad enough to find out your parents had committed criminal acts and spent time in prison before you were born, but to have them arrested during your lifetime... That must have been really traumatic.

And it makes a lot of sense that the Aurors couldn't prioritise everybody at once and that people who had been Death Eaters for six months disappearing wouldn't be much of a priority.

His aunt and uncle must really BE almost like parents to him at this point and it would definitely be much easier for him to describe them that way at Hogwarts rather than having to think up a reason he lived with his uncle and aunt.

It must be sad for his uncle and aunt too, that he doesn't seem to feel particularly close to them and doesn't want to go home for Christmas, even though they raised him since he was two and appear to care for him.

Poor Scorpius. I'm starting to feel sorry for him too. No wonder he feels angry, when he is judged so much by his family and other kids also have parents connected to the Death Eaters, but because their names aren't as well-known, don't get picked on for it.

I was WONDERING what Harry had said to him. I didn't really think Harry would be likely to bring the situation up, even if he DID know, but bringing it up in that context makes sense. Apart from anything else, Harry would have wanted to know what HE should say to Albus.

"Any more secrets" should have two separate words for "any" and "more."

And yikes, this must be embarrassing for David. It's one thing telling your best friends, another the whole household hearing. Poor kid.

I'm wondering now if David's secret has any connection to the storyline. I didn't expect it would have, but if his parents were Death Eaters and Zajecfer is trying to emulate Voldemort, it's not impossible. Maybe Zajecfer might be planning to break some ex-Death Eaters he thinks might support him out of Azkaban and David's parents might be among them.

Really interesting chapter. And that one-shot sounds really good too. Looking forward to reading it.

Author's Response: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the missing kid storyline. It'll play out. Eventually.

Yeah, his year is still 100x more stressful than mine would ever be, but in comparison to his first year it's not quite as bad. *laughs*

Yeah, poor Albus can't give Fred much advice. He doesn't know how to respond to any of it.

I find it hilarious that after all this time David just sort of screams it out. *laughs* It's totally unexpected to poor Albus and Rose.

I mean, all the traumatic stuff David went through he doesn't really remember. And at the time, when he was about 2, he didn't really understand what was going on so I think he was able to bounce back pretty quickly. But yeah, it all still affects him to this day, clearly.

You'll see more of what Harry said to David in the one-shot, but David summarized it for Albus pretty well.

I just want to say that i really liked all your theories. When you first guessed that he was the son of death eaters or dark wizards I was really proud of you for picking up on all the clues. But obviously I couldn't say that. Hooray! :)

Zajecfer is currently body-less, so I feel like he should probably get a body back if he wants to do Azkaban breakouts. :)

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Review #4, by MargaretLane Fire and Water

21st January 2018:
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about them being forbidden to go home for Christmas the previous year. So it's been two years since Albus has had a Christmas with his family. That's FOREVER at his age.

Hmm, this is getting weird. When David first said he was staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas, I was thinking, "hmm, maybe the idea about his parents being Death Eaters was correct. Or maybe they are cruel or abusive or something." But then he doesn't want to go to the Burrow either. I suppose if his parents WERE Death Eaters or something, he might not be comfortable meeting Harry. Though if his parents were Death Eaters, wouldn't they be in Azkaban? And he wasn't born until after the war, so... They could still be dark wizards Harry came up against at some point of his career as an Auror though. Or maybe David has some reason for wanting to remain at Hogwarts.

I do think there is something odd about his family, something to do with Harry or the other Weasleys. It might not be a Death Eater since I would imagine the Death Eaters were mostly still in Azkaban when he was born, but he could be related to somebody like Fudge or Scrimgeour or Rita Skeeter. No, I doubt he'd be able to hide the first two. The wizarding world seems to have a pretty intrusive press. I still kind of think it is probably Death Eater or dark wizard related. Somebody minor perhaps or somebody who supported the Death Eaters without being part of them.

David DEFINITELY doesn't have a happy family anyway, given his comment about how Albus should go and have Christmas with his wonderful, happy family. It sounds like he is jealous of that.

It will be interesting to see how David and Harry react when they meet. And that exchange between Art and David seems to confirm that David is afraid Harry knows something about him or his family and it's not just that David feels uncomfortable around a loving family because it reminds him of what he's missing. Angie style. This is reminding me a little of Angie spending Easter with Rose's family in 2nd year, but I've a feeling there is some extra dimension to it here and David's secret won't turn out to simply be an unhappy family life like Angie's. Or at least that it won't turn out to be just being embarrassed because his family is abusive or poor or something. If that were the case, he'd be as worried about telling Art as Albus or Rose. It seems to be specifically connected to the wizarding world.

Love the references to Global Warming and how that shows that we are into the 21st century here.

That IS interesting about how David is attracted to water and Albus to fire. I'm guessing that is going to play some part in this series, but I can't see what it could be.

OK, this is getting even more mysterious. Why does he alone see and hear the phoenix? I'm guessing his use of nonverbal magic comes into this somewhere too. It's beginning to look as if maybe Albus has some kind of destiny or is some kind of chosen one like Harry. I assumed he just got dragged into things because of being Harry's son. And that DID seem to be why Zajecfer targeted him, but it looks like there may be something more as the series progresses.

His connection to the phoenix MIGHT have something to do with him being named after Albus Dumbledore, I suppose.

I like the detail about Rose and Hugo being particularly close to Hannah.

Author's Response: Yeah, it has been two years for Albus since he had Christmas at home. I'm surprised he's not more homesick. I certainly would have been at his age. But I guess he's just so busy at Hogwarts that he doesn't think about home too much.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE all your theories about David. Seriously, I enjoy all the thought you've put into this, it's awesome. All your conclusions are very logical.

Yeah, the thing with the phoenix is interesting, isn't it? Very intriguing. And that is a good point, with the Albus Dumbledore connection. Albus Dumbledore had a phoenix, and now Albus Potter seems to have attracted the interest of one.

Rose and Hugo have a very close relationship with Hannah. That might come into play later. ;)

I think mentioning Global Warming because even though Albus might be ignorant of the muggle world, the muggle-born wizards certainly aren't.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #5, by MargaretLane The Four Dragons

3rd January 2018:
I'm glad Rose got out of trouble. Longbottom's reaction is reasonable. After all the crater WAS an accident.

*laughs at Albus not wanting to know why James has spikes* Some things one is better off not asking.

This time I don't really blame Madame Pince. I'm surprised they didn't get in more serious trouble for doing magic in the library without permission. If there is no magic allowed in the hallways, I doubt she'd allow it in the library. And that seems like it could be a pretty dangerous spell.

*laughs at most of the Weasley clan being banned from the library* That must make life pretty difficult when they have exams or essays to write. I'm surprised Rose isn't more worried about it, to be honest. And I REALLY wonder what Hermione will say when she hears her daughter was banned from the library. And not for something done to solve a mystery or anything but for using magic to breath fire.

I really like the references to Roxanne duelling and picking fights. It's always nice to get a bit of insight into the various characters.

Author's Response: Madam Pince is usually pretty unreasonable, but... they were breathing fire in a library. That's pretty stupid on their part. I agree with you there.

While Rose does use the library to research stuff that the four of them need, Rose isn't quite as obsessed with the library as Hermione. I feel like Hermione would be much more worried than Rose.

Yeah, I feel like whenever I mention Roxanne it's always in the context of her dueling someone. She does that a lot.

Thanks for reading!

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Review #6, by MargaretLane Rising From the Ashes

22nd December 2017:
Oooh, I like the appearance of the phoenix.

Oh poor Rose. She didn't deserve to get two weeks of detention for something she hadn't even done. It was really nice of her to cover for Albus and the others like that. I can see why she wouldn't want to tell tales though, especially when it might also mean explaining WHY Albus attacked David and she doesn't know yet if what he is keeping to himself is something he would be OK with the teachers asking about or not. I can DEFINITELY see why she would be angry with Albus. She has every reason to be.

Hmm, that is interesting about Marc's background. I wonder how he gets on with his adoptive parents.

Interesting to think about the years from 1996 to 1998 being ones of warfare in the wizarding world since in the Muggle one, they were the time of the peace process.

And your response about how long it is since ye're civil war made me think that actually pretty much all our wars were fought on Irish soil, unless you include World War I, which I guess you should really as Ireland was part of the UK at the time and got dragged into that, but since we had no say in the matter, we tend to ignore it. The Irish army last took part in a war in 1923 and actually the ONLY time the Irish army was at war was from 1922 to 1923 since before that we didn't technically HAVE an army, although I guess the Volunteers counted from 1919 to 1922 since they were taking orders from the elected government, even if that government was unrecognised.

Art and Rose are both pretty mature and sensible.

I was really hoping we'd find out David's secret in this chapter, but now it doesn't sound like we'll find it out any time soon. Having looked through your reviews and seen some of the suggestions, I'm inclined to think there might be something in the idea of his being related to one of the Death Eaters. That would DEFINITELY be something he might find it hard to admit to Albus and Rose.

Author's Response: Yeah, I definitely agree that Rose didn't deserve two weeks of detention. It's very sad. She has every right to be mad at Albus.

Marc gets on reasonably well with his adoptive parents.

Wow, Ireland is so different than the USA. We're at war all the time it seems like.

Unfortunately no, we're didn't find out David's secret this chapter. But you will find out eventually, I promise! And I like your guesses.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #7, by MargaretLane The Fight

18th December 2017:
LOVE Rose pointing out that many of the professors have bad memories of dementors from the war. Stories often kind of forget the implications of the war. I think mine do sometimes, to be honest. Living in Ireland, war trauma isn't something that really occurs to me as the Republic hasn't seen a war since 1923. The North HAS, but they often seem pretty laid back about the whole thing.

I can well imagine that some of the professors would be a little disconcerted by dementors.

*laughs* Yeah, Fred and Louis sound like a lot to deal with all right.

Malfoy says, "He gets detention and I don't." I think it should be the other way around.

And yeah, that is ridiculous. If Ungelbee knew the cause of the duel and that Malfoy had started it and David was just defending himself or something, it would be different - there'd be some logic to that - but this just seems like he's favouring anybody that has the remotest connection to Harry Potter.

Oooh, that's interesting, that David has told Art. At least it means that whatever David is hiding, it's nothing really BAD. If he was up to something dodgy, Art wouldn't be so laid back about it. And it seems to be something related to the wizarding world as he feels more comfortable telling a Muggleborn.

I think Albus is being pretty unreasonable here. It's up to David who he wants to tell his business to. Hexing somebody because they don't tell you their secrets REALLY isn't on. He ought to apologise and admit to the professors that what happened was his fault and that Art was only trying to stop a duel he started.

Author's Response: Yeah, I feel like mine also forget the implications of war sometimes. The U.S. has fought in a lot of mostly foreign wars for a long time, but the last time we fought a war on our actual soil was I think way back in 1865 (the civil war). That's even longer ago than you!

Fred and Louis are basically like the Weasley twins reincarnated. They are a lot. George is proud of them.

Yeah, the phrase "He gets detenetion and I don't" should be the other way around! It's silly how I keep mixing up phrases. That would be funny if Malfoy was complaining about that though.

Unglesbee is a fun character to write, but if I actually met him, I would not like him. I hate favoritism, and Unglesbee's favoritism is very blatant.

Oh, I totally agree that Albus is being unreasonable and really needs to apologize. Hopefully next chapter someone will give him a stern talking-to...

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #8, by MargaretLane Solving Unglesbee's System

15th December 2017:
He seems to be acting like whatever teacher Harry had when he was in the year he's teaching. OK, that's confusing as I'm using "he" for two different people, but it DID occur to me that Albus's class was similar to Harry's first class when Harry was in 2nd year. So I am guessing everybody else got a similar first class to whatever Harry got at their age, especially as James said his class was pretty good and Harry had Lupin in 3rd year and he was a good teacher.

And YES! Or sort of. Roxanne said he demonstrated the Unforgiveables on spiders which is what Crouch did. I don't remember whether or not that was Harry's first class with him though. But he is obviously imitating Harry's teachers. That is BEYOND weird.

Ah, Rose's thinking sort of does make sense. Only VERY sort of though because not all the kids in Harry's year were brilliant.

*laughs at Albus's comment "I think he's insane"* I mean he probably IS but the way Albus include it is kind of funny. And pretty typical of a 12 year old's letters.

I think he is right not to mention David's behaviour. It's not really something Harry is likely to be able to help with. Not that mentioning it would do any harm.

And it makes lots of sense that people would be afraid to apply for a job that had previously been cursed. Especially after all the things that happened.

That is a really stupid thing for the paper to be focusing on - the head of the Department of Magical Transport having an affair. But the Daily Prophet isn't exactly known for its quality journalism, I suppose.

Oh, you've written "even if it doesn't come close to England" near the end of the chapter. From context, it seems like you meant, "even if it does come close."

Author's Response: You were right! Unglesbee is teaching everyone according to what teacher Harry had for each year. Except for the seventh years. Because Harry wasn't there and DADA didn't really exist, it was just "The Dark Arts" taught by death eaters.

The demonstration of the unforgivable curses did occur during the very first class with Moody, which is why Unglesbee did that on the first day.

Yeah, the Daily Prophet isn't the best. It's fair to say, that the head of a department having a scandal is a bit big. But of course Albus wouldn't care about that.

Yeah, you're right. I did mean "even if it does come close", not "doesn't". Nice catch.

Thanks for the review! It's always great to hear from you.

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Review #9, by MargaretLane Unglesbee's Class

15th December 2017:
I didn't realise you'd updated! I could probably do with some recapping on what has happened so far, but I'll just read this chapter anyway and see how it goes. I might read back over the previous chapters later if I get time.

The title has me intrigued by the way.

Love love LOVE your history of Emeric the Evil. I always like it when people add detail to the wizarding world. It makes it all feel so much more real. And I find the idea of Dementors being deliberately created really interesting. AND it explains why he was known as "the Evil." Great worldbuilding. Worldaddingto?

You've written that it would be the "equivalent of taking down all the wards and Hogwarts." Did you mean "all the wards around Hogwarts"?

*stares at this guy's obsession with Harry Potter* I mean, I guess it makes sense people would admire the guy who saved the wizarding world, but this seems extreme. Especially when he is teaching Harry Potter's sons. Like I might admire de Valera, but if I met one of his grandchildren (who are probably in their 60s by now), I wouldn't start interrogating them about what it was like growing up with Dev as their grandfather.

Hmm, he seems to be imitating Gilderoy Lockhart's classes. Even the questions on the test are fairly similar to those Lockhart asked. Gosh, he's never Lockhart under a different name or something?

Hmm, things are getting even more mysterious. What does Scorpius know about David? Interesting.

Author's Response: WHOOHOO nice to see you.

Yeah, I decided to throw a little bit of worldbuilding in there. Not much, but... yeah, it's fun. I always like reading other fics where people add onto the world as well.

Yeah, I probably meant "all the wards around Hogwarts" or just the words "at Hogwarts". I'll fix that.

Oh yeah Unglesbee is weird. He's very extreme. He's too much of a fanboy. If I met Harry's kids I wouldn't freak out that much.

Hmmm yes he does seem to be imitating Lockhart's classes... I wonder why... ;)

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #10, by Sugar The First Day (And Night)

23rd January 2017:
Please... Update. I want to cry, you haven't updated in so long. 😢

Author's Response: I just did! I submitted a chapter for validation like half an hour ago. It was this review that convinced me to do it, so thanks! You probably don't check back here anymore, but... thanks for reading. :)

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Review #11, by Sugar The First Day (And Night)

8th September 2016:
What is David hiding anyway? Is he related to death eaters? Or is he an orphan? Or is he homeless or a muggleborn or related to a squib? Really, you really need to answer my questions? Ooohhh... if you think about it, I think that the dementor will come to hogwarts ot something. Will albus have anymore exiting adventures? Because I like plot, mysterys, and the like. You and Gryffin_Duck are my favorite authors. Also, I'm wondering if you will have anymore quiddich matches, i love them! You are brilliant, remember, rock onand KEEP POSTING! ( for this chapter i am forced to rate 10/10, but if i could, i would rate 100/100.)

Author's Response: Hmmm you're definitely on a lead when it comes to David. And a lot of other stuff too.

I love Gryffin_Duck! She was one of my first favorite authors. Started reading her years ago.

Thank you so so much! You're so sweet and I love your reviews.

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Review #12, by Nina The First Day (And Night)

8th September 2016:

Author's Response: Just did... like over a year after this review... hey, at least I did it!

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Review #13, by Sugar The First Day (And Night)

8th September 2016:
This is probably your best chapter YET! Who is the DADA teacher? Why does he look like Harry? Tell me! *Puppy face*

Author's Response: Haha you'll see. And once you read the chapter about him, you might understand why he looks like Harry. I don't directly state it, but you should be able to infer it.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #14, by Sugar The Hogwarts Express

8th September 2016:
i wonder what will happen...?!! you rock, Pheonix potioneer, keep posting as always, keep on!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #15, by Sugar The Escape

8th September 2016:
Hm. I wonder what will happen with the dementor? Tell me, keep posting, this fanfic is delightful.

Author's Response: Yes the dementor is rather exciting. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #16, by Sugar The Quidditch World Cup

8th September 2016:
I love it! this book is exellent! Keep posting!

Author's Response: Thanks! I will!

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Review #17, by Sugar The Prisoner of Darkness

8th September 2016:
oooh... i like the suspence...

Author's Response: Nothing is good without some good ol' fashioned suspense. :)

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Review #18, by MargaretLane The First Day (And Night)

21st March 2016:
Oh wow, I totally missed that this was updated. I'm really pleased because, as you know, I'm pretty curious about a fair few things.

Oooh, that part where Albus is beginning to wonder if Slytherins other than Snape fought against Voldemort is kind of interesting. I wonder if you are leading up to something here. Not sure WHAT exactly, but perhaps a Slytherin who fought against Voldemort will be relevant or perhaps Albus will befriend somebody in Slytherin now.

By the way, I think you have a space before the apostrophe in "Snape's" when you are talking about how he contrasts with the stereotype of Slytherin house.

Oooh, this new teacher seems kind of interesting. I wonder if the "satanic grin" means he's going to be a nasty character or if it's a red herring.

I also wonder if he could possibly be some relation of Harry's or something. After all, we don't know anything about James's family.

Poor Flitwick. I really like the way you indicate he's still suffering (although we don't know for sure if it's because of what happened the previous year or if he knows something else that Albus doesn't). I always like it when characters show some reaction to what they have been through.

Hmm, you've now started me wondering about Albus's skill with non-verbal spells. I assumed you just meant it as characterisation - everybody has some skills and some weaknesses after all - and maybe as something that would later help him to defeat or escape from the villains, but now I'm wondering if there is more to it. It DOES appear rather unusual.

Oooh, I really like the reference to how wizards contribute to damage to the environment. That stuff about the war makes sense.

Three friends is fairly average at that age, I'd say. From my own memories of being a young teenager, most people hung around in groups of between 2 and 5. It was really only when we got to about the age of 15 or 16 that people started hanging out with different groups at different times. I guess it might be a bit different at a boarding school, where you are with classmates all day, but I still wouldn't class it as anything unusual. Harry really only had two friends his first four or five years. It wasn't until Order of the Phoenix that he started to befriend Neville, Ginny and Luna.

*grins at the prefect being too tired to bother punishing them* Pretty realistic really.

I'm a bit confused. Albus said Marc was Muggleborn, but then Marc talks about his mother being Muggleborn, indicating he's at least half-blood. If it's still Marc talking then. It's not really clear.

I am really intrigued as to what David is hiding.

Author's Response: Oh goodness, this has been sitting in my unanswered review pile for a year and a half... *cringes* Great to hear from you as always, MargaretLane.

Yeah, the new teacher is interesting. You'll have to wait and see.

Poor Flitwick was under the imperius curse for like a year. (I think? Honestly it's been so long since I wrote the first book that I don't really remember.) It always amazed me how fast Moody recovered after being locked in a trunk for a year. Only a few months later he was helping Harry leave Privet Drive.

That's a good point, I only had like two friends when I was Albus's age as well.

That was Rob talking about his mother being muggleborn, not Marc. I forgot to clarify who is talking in the chapter, sorry! But yeah, Rob is halfblood, and you were right that Marc is established as muggleborn in the books.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #19, by hermionehero The Hogwarts Express

24th December 2015:
Hi. Please update. I really enjoy your ideas!

Author's Response: I took a really long hiatus from this site. I have the next chapter ready, but I'm on my phone right now so I can't submit it. It'll be up as soon as possible though, so keep watching!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #20, by MargaretLane The Hogwarts Express

12th May 2015:
*laughs at your Rose being horrified at the idea of eavesdropping* It seems like mine does little else.

I'm not at all surprised Art is horrified by the thought of Dementors. They are pretty horrific.

Hmm, the fact that this Dementor has long-term effects that go beyond leaving people shaking for a while afterwards and actually cause them to need hospitalisation is a good indication of how it differs from the norm.

This sounds a bit awkward: "Daniel Killingston said, one of the Australians on the scene in Antarctica." Something like "one of the Australians on the scene, in Antarctica, Daniel Killingston, said..." or "Daniel Killingston, who was one of the Australians on the scene, said..." might sound better.

Aw, poor Lily. She seems rather more sensitive than her brothers. Of course she is younger too.

Albus always has a string of questions about everything.

I wonder what is going on with Harry. I guess he's just overworked because of the amount of coordination and all he has to do in order to sort out this crisis, but he does seem tireder even than in Deathly Hallows, when he was spending months on the run.

I think it makes sense that they'd solve things better when they are together. If somebody asks a question, it can sometimes start you thinking in a way you wouldn't otherwise. And of course, they all have different strengths. Rose may be a genius, but Albus has greater curiosity, I think and is more likely to bring up a particular issue that she may not have considered.

VERY nit-picky, but the term "vacation" is kind of an Americanism and it seems a little out of place for Albus to think of his summer holidays as "the summer vacation".

And you've written "James's grumpiness returned away." That sounds kind of odd. Should it have been something like "James's grumpiness disappeared"?

And he is SO mean to poor Lily.

Oh, I FORGOT about the mystery with David. Hmm, I wonder what is going on there. Yeah, hating writing letters really DOESN'T explain why he couldn't write and say, "yes, I'd like to come" or "no, I can't come." It's not like that requires a great deal of effort. There HAS to be more to it.

There should be a comma before Marc, in "have a seat, Marc."

David is clearly trying to distract them from the subject of his holidays. They are less likely to ask about why he didn't visit with somebody else around.

Again, VERY nit-picky, but I'd be inclined to have them say, "we HAD to get all of Lockhart's books" rather than "we have to", as they've already got them. "We have to" makes it sound like they haven't bought them yet.

Yikes, I should have realised Albus would now be able to see the Thestrals.

Author's Response: Well, I had a review response all typed out... and then the page refreshed. Sigh. So let me try again.

Our Rose's differ a lot, don't they? My Rose is the voice of logic, trying to keep Albus from doing things, and your characters are flipped.

If dementors were real, they would probably be my boggart. They are terrifying. That's like my one similarity with Harry.

To be honest, Harry being on the run wasn't too bad. They didn't really do much. It was like a really long extended camping trip. Sure, there was the threat of Voldemort hanging over his head, but other than that, there wasn't a whole lot going on. Meanwhile, now Harry is one of the most important officials of the British government. That's a lot of work, and a lot of stress.

Lily is really young- she becomes tougher later on, don't worry.

You have a good point about the whole "vacation" term. It's just so common in America that I often forget that the British don't use it.

And thank you for all the corrections. I will edit that!

James isn't super mean, and Lily didn't even hear James insulting her.

Yup, Albus can see thestrals. That's kind of scary, especially since Harry couldn't see them until the beginning of his fifth.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #21, by thegreatcatsby The Escape

2nd March 2015:
Update soon please! I love what you've written in this story (and the last book) so far.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I will update soon, I promise. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story!

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Review #22, by MargaretLane The Escape

29th January 2015:
Hmm, something significant is obviously going on to have Harry called into work like that. Going by the title and what we already know from the first chapter, I'm going to guess it's to do with the escape of that Dementor King. Maybe they have reason to believe he's in the UK or maybe the Aurors worldwide are being briefed.

*laughs* The "Teddy stealing toast" scene you mentioned before. I was WONDERING why Ginny'd be annoyed at him stealing toast, when it's so easily replaced. I hadn't expected him to say he was too lazy to even make TOAST. *laughs at her demonstration of how easy it is*

Like the way you reveal where Teddy works. I was wondering.

SomeTHING escaped. Sounds like the Dementor King all right. If it were one of the prisoners in Azkaban, he'd probably say someONE. And Art points that out then.

Lily seems a bit like Rose, being so anxious to enter the bookshop. It's fun to get the bit of insight into the characters of people like Hugo, Lily and Teddy.

*laughs* Yeah, with only one school in wizarding Britain, it would probably be fairly easy to find the right books. Here, there are various textbooks for each subject, and different schools use different ones, but some bookshops have a counter where parents can just give the assistant the booklist and they get them for them.

Hmm, Rose is starting to wonder if David is hiding something. I REALLY wonder what is going on with him. I get the impression we're going to get more information in this book.

You've written that he might "OF" just them in the crowd, when it should be "might have" or "might've."

OK, those hints sound like whatever David is hiding has to do with his family. Some of it sounds like he doesn't get on with them, although you'd think that'd make it MORE likely he'd want to go to the World Cup with Al, not less, unless they wouldn't let him. My current suspicion is that they are Dark Wizards or something and he hurried away from the others at the station so they wouldn't meet his parents, or so his PARENTS wouldn't meet them. And he doesn't write because he doesn't want his parents to know who his friends are.

*laughs* Al REALLY doesn't like secrets. He's got his father's curiousity.

Hmm, seems like Lily is even more fond of books than Rose is, and Rose seemed the type to love books. I think I like Lily. Hope we get to see more of her in the 3rd story when she starts Hogwarts.

Ginny and George are STILL teasing each other. *laughs*

Really good chapter.

Author's Response: Yeah, being too lazy to make toast is pretty sad. And he could make it using magic, so it's even easier than pouring a bowl of cereal! I'm not surprised that Ginny got annoyed.

I think Lily liked the bookshop last year at the Diagon Alley trip too! She is a bit Rose-ish in that way, though I don't think Lily likes textbooks.

Yes, it should be "might have", thank you for the correction! When I was younger I got into the habit of saying "might of" instead of "might have", since it sounds the same when spoken fast. It took me several years for me to find out that it was wrong, and by then it had already transferred into my writing. I will go back and correct that!

I like Lily too. I modeled her off of a young me in some ways.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #23, by Freda_and_Georgina The Quidditch World Cup

7th January 2015:
Though it was long, it was interesting. I liked seeing how wizards see muggles with a viewpoint character raised by wizards. I also like the short but informative introduction.

Excellent, like the first chapter.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter. :)

I find the way wizards see muggles interesting- are they in as awe as we are when we think of wizards? Arthur Weasley seems obsessed with muggle things. It certainly is a different perspective than what most readers are used to.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by MargaretLane The Quidditch World Cup

2nd January 2015:
Wow, I really didn't expect the World Cup to be relevant to this, but I suppose it's hardly surprising as it would be a World Cup year. I was reading another next gen which had the main characters attend it too and there was a reference to it at the beginning of my story. This version sounds particularly interesting though. Atlantis!

Yikes, the first line is sort of creepy.

And I really like the way you show Albus gradually coming to terms with what has happened to him. Some stories gloss over the emotional effects of such things and some have it stop abruptly. It's more realistic, I think, to have him gradually come to terms with things.

I'm glad of the overview, as I'd forgotten a few details from the first year.

OK, now I'm intrigued as to what teacher would be crazy enough to use Lockhart's books, especially now he's been proven to be a fraud. And what teacher would expect them to buy a full series of books just to use in one year? Even Lockhart himself seemed to have all his classes buy the series, so presumably they would be referring to them across a number of years, although he did seem to expect them all to have read them in detail before returning to school. But James doesn't seem to be using them. Hmm. I'm starting to wonder if Lockhart is going to return to Hogwarts. Or maybe a relative. I'm probably just thinking the latter because of his niece appearing in my series.

Yeah, I can easily imagine people would still remember what had happened to Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers in the past and be reluctant to take the position even now. Especially, if it came out that Voldemort cursed it, because I'd imagine there'd still be some fear of him, as so many people still remember him or had relatives killed by him or his supporters.

And I wonder why Harry can't tell them who the teacher will be. Interesting.

"My German flag" would probably sound better than "my Germany flag."

And hmm, we're getting a bit of insight into Lily's personality. She seems more interested in the beauty of the island than in the matches. She sounds like she might be a little like Hermione in some ways.

And we're also getting some insight into Lorcan and Lysander. The fact their faces are blank is sort of interesting.

Hmm, I'm now wondering about the McKinnon's baby. I'm guessing he or she will appear in this story, perhaps as the new Defence teacher.

LOVE the mention of how young James and Lily were. An awful lot of fics I've read seem to have the McKinnons and the Longbottoms and pretty much all the other members of the Order who died in the first war around the same age as James and Lily, which makes me wonder firstly, who was fighting Voldemort for the first 6-8 years of his rise to power, while the Marauders were at school and secondly, if he did all his killing in a year or two, why were the characters saying they had little to celebrate for 11 years? Plus, the best fighters in the wizarding world seem to be the older people - Dumbledore, McGonagall, Voldemort - presumably because of their years of practice, so it makes sense James and Lily's skill would surprise the older members.

Oooh, the Chasers on both sides seem fairly equally matched.

Author's Response: Atlantis! Hooray! How do you like the REAL answer on what happened to that island? It has to have some wizarding explanation, right?

Yeah, Harry doesn't really have many emotional reprecussions until the later books- and even that isn't much. Harry never had nightmares about a basilisk or anything. If I were Harry, I'd be tormented by nightmares. It is a good thing I'm not Harry Potter. :)

"What teacher would be crazy enough"... well, there are some pretty crazy teachers out there. Remember Harry's DADA teachers? Wacko.

Well, if Lockhart was returning to Hogwarts (He could've gotten his memories back!) why would he only give the second years his books? Interesting indeed.

Harry can tell James and Albus about the new teacher, but he prefers for the two of them to formulate their own opinions without his influence.

You're right, "German flag" sounds better than "Germany flag". Thanks for that.

Lily admires Atlantis because she's a historical geek and because it's beautiful- but she loves Quidditch too. She can't NOT love Quidditch with her mum, dad, and brothers all playing Quidditch.

Yes, in my head canon the McKinnons were much older, and the Longbottoms a few years older, than James and Lily. There had to be thirty year olds and forty year olds and others who fought Voldemort too. Your logic makes sense, and I was thinking along those lines too.

Thank you for reviewing!!!

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Review #25, by smsubramaniyan The Prisoner of Darkness

25th December 2014:
good opening for a novel. First book was fantastic. I hope you upload the next chaptrs soon..

Author's Response: The next chapter is coming shortly. Check the page continually for the next chapter. It will be up soon, I promise!

Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first book.

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