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Reading Reviews for the earth and the sky
  
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell the earth and the sky

17th September 2015:
Whew. Wow. That was not just a one-shot. That was an experience.

You really took us through all the ups and downs--so many emotions. It's almost overwhelming. But you did such a good job--both in the quality of your writing (excellent) and in the balance between angst and sweetness, wound and recovery.

I was cheering for the two of them so hard. And when he was in that train explosion--ohmygosh I was in a panic! Usually I don't feel that much emotional connection to one-shots, but this one had me on the edge of my seat at that point. And I enjoyed all of it.

Highlights:


She closes her eyes and smiles, a little. Nothing is said.

How very Astoria of her.


--this was just such a sweet moment. I loved the mental picture it created. I loved what it said about Astoria, as a person--that she was the sort to savor a moment, that she was a little bit different. And I loved what it said about how well Draco knew her and how much he cherished her.

It is nearly two hours later that he is struck by the realisation that, at this very moment, he holds in his hands something so beautiful, and he thinks that he will always remember this. This is his something that is working. She is his everything that is working.
--this was such a strong, beautiful moment. It might have been my favorite part, though it is hard to pick one. It's just such a great passage! It makes you want to be grateful for what you have.

'No. After all, death doesn't happen to us. It happens to the people we leave behind.
--I think this is actually a very interesting, pretty profound idea. And, I mean, it depends on the type of death in some ways. Or maybe not. I guess it's that dying--the process-can happen to us, but death doesn't. But if you're at peace, I don't suppose it's a bad way to look at it. Still, I think that there's a part of you that will always be sad for the people you love, for whom the death will happen.

It was an interesting thought, though. I think I like it.


IV. the cure.
--this was cruel because even though I just thought I'd seen her die, for a fraction of a second I saw that title and I had hope. Why would you do that?! All these emotions! But I was so glad to see Draco work through the struggle, and learn how to still live life, and find some pleasure in it. He was changed, yes, but so much for the better that even the sadness was worth it, I think. I was glad you showed him working with the flowers, growing a new life.

Well played, life. Love is your trump card.
--I thought this was a good line



CC:

So, as a rule, I always try to give some CC, because I find it really helpful, as a writer. But yeah, I just wanted to stress that I always do this, and usually I point out more things about stories I really enjoy, because those stories are worth the extra time to me. But you're obviously free to take or leave it, as you will :)

His eyes are lined with thick, dark circles.
--it seems likae maybe this should be "underlined". Because "lined", in reference to eyes, sort of implies the lines that stretch out from the sides, like crow's feet, but you seem to be describing the bags that would be under his eyes.

Maybe it is it the alcohol.
--I think that second "it" should probably be deleted.

craggy streaks of lightening.
--lightening = lightning (the first is like, to diminish in weight or intensity. But the weather phenomenon is spelled without the e)

She fathoms briefly on how little it takes to age.
--It sounds like she's thinking about how little it takes? But "fathom" means "to understand", so that doesn't seem quite right. Maybe, "She ponders, briefly, how little it takes to age." Or muses?

and before he knows it, he is stood in the entryway of a rather large living room
--in this case, I think "he is standing" might flow better.


Still, she thinks, feeling slightly grumpy. This is really not how she wanted her wedding day to go.
--The first part is a fragment. It looks like it should maybe be, "Still, she thinks, feeling slightly grumpy, this is not how she wanted her wedding day to go." (I liked how you brought back the rain thing, though. It was the perfect fit for their wedding, really. A fresh start. And that was always their theme).



You've done a really marvelous job with this. It was lovely. Congratulations--HUGE congratulations--on your Dobby nomination, and on your excellent writing skills. Thanks for sharing this story with us! It's a real work of art and clearly a labor of love. Oh, and I loved the ending! It was perfect.

--Penny

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Review #2, by manno_malfoy the earth and the sky

15th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here because I'm trying to check out as many of the Dobby nominations as possible! I can't tell you how excited I was when I saw that this is a Draco/Astoria one-shot. I love these two so much, and you did them justice!

What amazes me about this story is how well it flows, even though it's all broken up into little pieces. It's almost like snippets, like flipping through a photo album maybe and there's a focus on ONE particular thing in each snippet. There are no unnecessary details, and the conversations are almost poetic (especially in the beginning).

Another thing that I admired was the recurring phrases like love, love, love and want vs. need They just tied everything together over the course of the story. And each time one of them popped up, I'd take a moment to consider how far Draco and Astoria have come since the last time it was used. It's just a lovely touch.

I think my favourite part was when Astoria started having doubts about the relationship. It was just so realistic! Because first it's Draco's accident, then it's a baby, and it is, indeed, a lot to take in. When she went off with Blaise, I thought that this was it. That we're going to go into full-blown angst. But no, you did something better! You showed how strong the bond between the Draco and Astoria is. And how easy it is to get stuck in a rut with a relationship sometimes, but also how small things can just revive it again. So yes, definitely my favourite part.

It's just amazing how you've managed to basically tell us their whole story. It's a one-shot (yes, a bit long) but by the end of it, I know everything that I NEED to know about them. I've seen their biggest problems and their tenderest moments, and I feel for them.

I'm so glad I've come across this story! And many congrats on the well-deserved Dobby nomination!

-Manno

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Review #3, by SunshineDaisies the earth and the sky

11th August 2015:
Hello! FINALLY here for the swap.

This has been on my to-read list for quite a while, and I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it! It was absolutely phenomenal. I really enjoy super long stories, so this was such a treat for me! I love how you managed to tell their whole story in one chapter. It was long, yes, but I think it suits the story well. Cutting it into different chapters would have seemed too choppy. The fragments of their lives flowed together so well, and you did an excellent job of showing the entirety of their lives without a ton of detail. I could probably rave about the structure of this for ages, but that's not really the important part, is it?

The way you included the realities of life, especially the harsh ones, is so realistic. Everybody faces tragedies in their lives, miscarriages are so common and hardly anyone writes about them, or explores the reactions characters may have to that. Here, you've done an amazing job of exploring real, raw emotion of both Astoria and Draco. Often when miscarriages are portrayed in writing, authors only focus on the woman's reaction, but of course, especially in a marriage, the father of the child feels a sense of loss as well. I think the way you showed both of their devastation is so beautiful and painfully accurate. You had me feeling the loss right along with them, which is an excellent accomplishment.

And then you went and threw another tragedy at them almost immediately afterward. Again, things like this happen in every life, and I think that the way you portrayed the loss of Draco's hearing pretty wonderfully as well. It's far different from the loss of a pregnancy, but just as profound. And again, it's something both of them are going to experience. Having your spouse lose a sense is a loss just as losing a sense is a loss. And then, in a truly accurate choice, they decided to have a child as a distraction. It might not be the most advisable decision, but it's certainly a real one. People want distraction in times of loss.

Overall, I think you did an absolutely amazing job of exploring two intertwined lives, and all of ups and downs that come along with simply living. You so accurately described the losses and joys that play out in life.

This is an absolutely astounding piece of fiction.

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Review #4, by CambAngst the earth and the sky

9th August 2015:
Hi, Adi! I thought I'd begin my GryCReMo campaign with stories from the other participants. Let me get my little scorekeeping thing out of the way:

GryCReMo (Review #5)

I guess I could have picked something shorter, given that this is a numbers game, but shorter doesn't usually mean better. I'm really glad I picked this story. I think it gave you so much opportunity to show off your creativity and writing ability. It's obvious that you spent a really long time on this and I think that time paid off. This is an amazing story.

You paced this story brilliantly. The story takes Draco and Astoria from low points to high points and back again, and throughout it all you never feel like you're rushing or dragging. For a story this long, I know that's a really difficult thing to do.

I loved the running themes that you come back to again and again. Need vs. want. It's a simple, powerful concept that really goes a long way toward defining love vs. infatuation. There's also the idea of love overcoming hardship. Aside from it being one of the trademark Harry Potter themes, I think it added a lot to the impact of Astoria's death. You couldn't help but feel like their love was going to pull things out one more time and it really pummels you right in the feels when that doesn't happen.

The way that you wrote both Astoria and Draco was really, really well done. They're real, accessible people. They have good traits and bad, strengths and flaws. They make some good choices and they make some mistakes. Through it all, they're drawn to one another and that's what makes the story so powerful.

Your writing was simply beautiful in this. It felt like you weren't afraid to try anything, and that led to some really spectacular effects.

I've gotten to read some really great stories so far, which I guess is one of the major points of this event. This is definitely one of them. Great job!

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Review #5, by katethemuggle the earth and the sky

23rd June 2015:
Oh, wow. This was just...stunningly beautiful, a true literary masterpiece. When I finished reading I was at such a loss for words that it took me a few moments to even be able to collect my thoughts enough to form mediocre sentences - much less the proper review this story deserves so dearly.

Let me begin by stating that this story has further solidifed my belief that all those people who bash fan fiction for it's 'unoriginality', or any of the other terms penned to it, have not read truely enthralling, compelling and excellent fan fiction. I feel it is too often seen as simply poorly composed smut and that is pitiful. When done properly, it is so much more.

Your story was captivating from the synopsis to the conclusion. Despite a length that typically for a one shot may have scared me away, I couldn't close my laptop. I was completely enthralled by it. Your characters were so thoroughly developed and beautifully written. Draco was canon, not depicted as neither a completely soulless demon nor the prince who rides in on a horse in shining armor. He grew up throughout the story, and showed excellent, realistic, character development. Thank you for that. Astoria was also lovely. Although she was never a prominent feature in the books, you made me feel like I knew her, so thank you for that as well.

Now to the actual story...(I'll try to keep it minimul though, to the best of my ability)...

Part I: I loved their initial attraction and how from moment one it was clear there was a spark, there was something - they both just had to realize it. I loved that very much. It was not a rushed romance - it felt natural and wholesome.

Part II: Such. An. Emotional. Section. Joy and tragedy, loss and hope, all in one. I loved Draco's realization that he loved her. He, Draco Malfoy, genuinely loved someone who was not himself. His proposal was perfect - I dream of a proposal like it. Simple, I personally believe, is terribly underrated and should get more credit because that is where credit is due. I loved how despite the weather, the show must go on - it was truly symbolic. The pregnancy made my heart grow with happiness and then wither with sorrow as they experienced the heartbreak of child loss. My heart broke for them. Then as it seemed things might get back to normal - BOOM! - tragedy. I didn't see his hearing loss coming, but the realism was so...real, for lack thereof a better word. As much as it pained me to see that happen, I appreciated that there was no 'it's a miracle - here's your hearing back' later in the story. Then...baby Scorpius. Finally, true joy and a light in their life. I felt like I was in one or both of their shoes throughout the story and it was wonderful. I understood the struggles they went through as they adjusted to this new chapter, it was like I lived that with them. That, my friend, is a sign of an excellent writer.

Part III: This whole section just broke my heart once more in to slim shards. Seeing her deteriorate so quickly was just...awful. I wanted to take the disease that was killing her and just suffer for her myself. I was devastated that they did not get to grow old together. When she passed next to him, tears certainly stung my eyes.

Part IV: I've always felt that we don't know how much we can handle, until dealing with the weight on our shoulders is all we can do. That's exactly what Draco went though and although he was heartbroken, I was glad to not see him stop living because of his loss.

Part V: Their reunion was...perfect. Exactly what I dream of in the (hopefully) far off future. Her waiting for him...so beautiful that words are not eqipped to explain it. I loved it.

Your writing style could not be better, your descriptions are beautiful and the (for the most part) lack of dialogue only added to the story.

JKR should be proud - you have truly done justice to her work.

10/10

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Review #6, by apondinabluebox the earth and the sky

1st June 2015:
Adi.

I think you broke me.

This is the ooh, seventh time I'm typing this review. The first four times, I was still reeling from the sheer awesomeness of this one-shot that I simply couldn't articulate how mind-blowingly fabulous it is. I just wrote random words and it didn't make sense. The fifth time, I was finally getting somewhere when the evil internet decided to crash my browser and delete all the words I'd written. The sixth time, I was so absorbed in detailing how much I loved reading this story, how you've cemented Draco/Astoria as my OTP, how I was so captivated while I was reading, that I didn't realise my iPad was running low on battery until I was death-screened. :(

So. Seventh time lucky, I hope. The iPad is on charge, I've touched wood and now I'm finally able to explain just how captivating your writing is. I especially admired how you chose to refer to Draco and Astoria as primarily "he" and "she". By whittling down the number of times you used their names and terms such as "his wife" or "her husband", you created a story that was based predominately on them being people. Draco didn't fall in love with Astoria because of her name, or her career, or her social standing, or anything else; he fell in love with her, and vice versa. You did a brilliant job of conveying that to the reader.

I loved how their relationship blossomed out of friendship. How they fell in love with each other's quirks and flaws; how it was those little things that they remember of each other, not the standard criteria of good looks and acceptable acquaintances. It felt so truthful, so innocent, so beautifully organic that I'm simply struggling to imagine their relationship occurring in any other form right now, which doesn't bode well for my own Draco/Astoria. But I digress.

The way you had Draco fall into alcoholism after the war made so much sense. It can be an overused plot device sometimes, but you wrote him in such a way that it felt inevitable. His addiction wasn't just a case of, "I need some angst to fuel the plot. Ooh, let's make Draco an alcoholic!", it was something that made sense in the context of the demons plaguing his nightmares, of relieving Crabbe's death over and over again in his mind.

And their first kiss was anything but perfect, yet that in itself made it perfect. It felt natural, like the next stepping stone in their relationship, just like everything that followed.

Had there ever been any other answer?

That sentence, repeated throughout this story, made perfection just that more perfect (which I'm aware is an impossible thing, but then this story is just that: making hearts crumble to ashes with every sentence, every paragraph, feeding the hungry beast that is the masochist in us all by the choice to continue reading. And I'm sorry if that didn't make sense, but I'm afraid that my brain is no longer functioning after reading this breathtaking one-shot, so nonsense is to be expected. And I need to stop getting off topic here.)

The fact that Draco chose to visit a Muggle jeweller to purchase Astoria's engagement ring was a brilliant thing to include, and added a chink of light-heartedness into the story with his confusion about ring sizes and stones. I like how Blaise was the one to persuade him to that, particularly as later on in the story he's who Astoria turns to in a moment of weakness, and I admire how you had Blaise be upstanding and not take advantage of her. (It's so strange how many things are so similar between our headcanons, and yet how vastly different they are.) I love how you expanded on this with Draco commuting on the London Underground and being involved in 7/7; involving Muggle mentions into their lifestyle, but balancing that with their employment of an house-elf, showing that while their lives have changed to reflect the new modern times of society, they still hold on to certain traditions of their old lifestyles. They've changed, they've grown, but they're still the same people they once were.

The miscarriage was heartbreaking, and yet so beautiful in its tragedy, in the way that Draco and Astoria coped after losing their child. It was interesting that you used a different style of formatting to reflect it, and other certain events, demonstrating how so very different and out of place they are in contrast to the rest of their lives.

I'm running out of characters here, unfortunately, but I wanted to add, too, how poignant I found Draco's thoughts on how he never really "met" Astoria. How she was always in the background when they were growing up, how they wasted those years -- but I don't think they were, really, because they weren't compatible during those early years.

Hints of Scorpius and Rose, blossoming into mentions of Rose as a daughter-in-law and their baby, added a lovely element of the next generation into this story. It was a poignant reminder that even after Astoria's passing, and later Draco's, their love continues in their son, their grandbaby and the possibility of more children to come.

I wish that I had more space to express how much I love this one-shot, because I honestly could wax lyrical all night and not tire of it, but for now I'll just discuss the beauty of your ending; how Astoria got on board the Hogwarts Express but never got off, waiting for Draco to join her before she did. Ahh, such a kick in the feels and yet after everything that they went through, it seemed so right.

Like I told you at the beginning of this review, Adi: you broke me.

But oh, it was so worth it.



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Review #7, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap the earth and the sky

27th May 2015:
She is the sky and he is the earth, and together, they rebuild broken pieces of each other.

Youíre a wordsmith. Just a lyrical genius.

A drink is what fixes it every night, these days. A drink can distract him, play with his mind, obscures his darkest thoughts. But no, a drink cannot fix him.

I truly believe this would have been his first step after the war. Lord, I just LOVE Draco and Astoria and what youíre doing here. We get bits and pieces of their life together. I like that the timeline is clear and yet itís still muddled if that makes any sense. Itís not the writing but the characters. They arenít entirely present because theyíre just a tad lost so after the war could mean a few months, a year, or more.

'You can sleep here tonight,' she tell him tiredly. 'I have no time for thi-'

One little mistake, easy to make since this is very long. Should be: tells

Had there ever really been any other answer?

This line, repeated. It is a bang in my chest. God, itís good. Itís really good. This entire story. Has there ever been any other answer? No. No was never an option.

Then one day, there is blood flowing out of her.
Blood isn't supposed to be flowing out of her.
Not now.


Iím crying because itís not fair. I donít know why you and other writers on HPFF think Astoria and Draco would have had problems conceiving but I just do. Maybe itís because nothing has ever come easy for Draco. Yeah, he had the money and he was Ďpopularí among his house and everything but in reality his life was very hard and I just feel like itís kind of a big ĎFí you to him for everything that has happened. Karma, you know, for being sort of rotten even though it wasnít his fault. And for some reason I just think Astoria would have had issues. Plain and simple because it isnít easy and it doesnít always happen.

But Draco missed it all the same. He missed it so much, and sometimes, he tried to imagine it in his mind, but it never came close to reality.

I like that she isnít perfect and he realizes this but to him she is wonderful, beautiful, amazing. Thereís so many different components going on in this story theyíre all hard to comment on because one line creates a wave of a number of emotions.

'It's only a spot of blood,' she laughs airily.

How Lady MacBeth and eerie.

Had there ever really been any other answer?

I am a mess. ThatÖline. Oh man. This was beautiful and heartbreaking. I wish I could write like you, simple as that. You created this life and gave a vision to these two characters that I have thought about before but would never in a million years be able to write out and give it the care and the consideration you have. Wonderful job, really.

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Review #8, by Princess Kaguya the earth and the sky

26th May 2015:
I live in the moon. It's been a long time since I said good-bye to him. He was the earth. I was the sky. Then I found the story you wrote. Your sad and beautiful story reminded me of the life with him whom I might have married with on the earth.

I've never had the experience, the marraige. Many rich men on the earth proposed me but I refused all. The only person I've ever loved was him.

He was the sun. I was the moon. He was music. I was a dancer. He was the day. I was the night.
I remembered that feeling when I read your story. Draco was the moon. Astoria was the sun. Draco was music. Astoria was a dancer. Draco was the night. Astoria was a dancer. All nice married couples are like this. You expressed them very well.

The real marriage may not be so beautiful like you wrote, but your imagination let us think deeply about the marriage, the life of human beings, which let us love people around us more.

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Review #9, by Lucky the earth and the sky

14th April 2015:
Hi Adi.

I'm Lucky, the luckiest person on earth. I know that not everyone is as lucky as I am (dahh), and I am therefore here to show you support. I can't imagine how hard it must be not being as lucky as me, but I'm here for you with a shoulder to cry on if you need it

But I am going to be honest and say I might need that shoulder myself, because this was so beautiful. Reading stories about the life of the less fortunate always touch my heart. I admire their bravery in life, because I could never imagine how my life would be if I had been ... *gulp* unlucky *whisper dramatically*.

Draco and Astoria are certainly brave for staying together after having faced so many obstacles. I have had very few of those myself, you know, things just tend to go my way. But they stay together through thick and thin, and that is the kind of marriage everyone would want, isn't it? I'm not married myself, but that is more of convenience than luck, I must admit. I do believe strongly in marriage, though - the idea of spending the rest of your life with one person does sound rather romantic *dreamy look*

Anyway, I really liked the description as well. I could almost feel everything they felt, and that was many feelings my lucky self have never had to feel before. So thank you for that new experience. I could also see it all happen, and I really did want to spread a little of my luck over to the two of them. But ultimately they did end up having a happy ending, so I suppose they didn't need my luck.

Oh no, does that mean luck is really not that important? No, I refuse to believe that. What is the meaning of my existence if it is not go through life without an obstacle or a tiny shred of unfortune? Do I need more than luck to be a happy girl? Ugh, I have to run now. These thought are making me depressed, and that is not something a lucky girl like me have felt many times before. I am sure my friend around the forums can deliever a message to me, if do have anything you would like to tell me. I would offer you my shoulder to cry on again, if you should ever need it, but I feel I may need it myself. My dear friend for the forums can offer you hers, if you find out who she is, of course. She told me to give you this clue; "the key is the name"

Must luck come your way

Lucky

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Review #10, by krazyboutharryginny the earth and the sky

13th April 2015:
Hello! I'm reviewing all the members of our CTF team as a way to say thanks for being awesome!

Adi... this is a really, really beautiful piece of writing. Just absolutely stunning. I'm going to try my hardest to leave a 1000 character review (my new goal for all reviews :P) but I am honestly lost for words.

I don't even like Draco Malfoy. But here, you showed me Draco Malfoy changing, and becoming a better person, and I ended up really liking him. (Wow, that like... totally doesn't even come close to describing what a whirlwind of emotions I was going through. I can be too concise for my own good.)

Seriously though, Adi. There were several points where I just had to step away from my computer and breathe (heh). Not even because I was sad (although that happened SEVERAL times) but because I was just having so many EMOTIONS and I felt like my chest was going to burst open. I started crying at a few points - though, granted, that can happen quite easily with me.

I just cannot emphasize enough how absolutely beautifully done this is. I could feel all the pain, suffering and loss so intensely, and same with the love and the growth and the healing. You managed to completely draw me into this story. Draco and Astoria's relationship felt so real - especially with the details you included, such as how Draco never thought Astoria's voice was particularly nice, but he missed it so much after he lost his hearing.

OH THAT'S ANOTHER THING. (I'm so sorry I just have so many FEELINGS and I keep losing track of myself!!!) The explosion!! I know there was a TW for it at the beginning, but by the time it happened I was HOPING and PRAYING that nothing bad was going to happen, that it was just a warning for some kind of flashback to the Battle of Hogwarts. I was DEVASTATED when I was wrong.

I feel like I'm starting to get sort of rambly and incoherent. To sum up: Amazing. Beautiful. This is intense and poetic and made me feel every emotion under the sun.

Is this the one-shot that won the Golden Paw Award? Because it deserves it a million times over.

-Kayla
#AccioAttackersAreAwesome

P.S. This is officially the longest review I've ever written at over 2000 characters. Feels appropriate that I'm leaving it for you.

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Review #11, by looneylizzie the earth and the sky

12th April 2015:
CTF - Round 7 - Jailbreak!

Adi...This is so many things. It's breathtaking, it's beautiful, it's heartbreaking, it's happy, it's sad, it's a little bit of everything really.

There's so much to say!!

I think I'll start with the idea of the earth and the sky. The idea of them being "symbiotic creatures". It reminded me of the Greek Myth of Gaea and Uranus. That helped me see a little deeper into the relationship between Draco and Astoria. I love the idea that Draco needs to be a little more free...that's such a powerful message. It reminds me that he spent so much of his early years under the thumb of others' power, and the effect that that might have had on him.

I also love how you illustrated the difficulties of marriage. The fact that not everything was happy all of the time, is much truer to life. The whole thing with her and Blaise...that was so well done. That Astoria felt so lost and confused for a while, and didn't quite know what to do about it, and somehow found her way back.

The miscarriage...oh, how heartbreaking! That's a real struggle, and I think you've described it beautifully. And really hit the pain of that for Draco and Astoria really well,

Draco's hearing! Wow! I really wasn't expecting that! Firstly, the fact that you had him getting a new start in the muggle world is one of the most amazing idea's I've ever read before for Draco. And then he gets caught in the explosion...oh man..amazing.

All in all this one-shot is such an amazing display of a life, of a marriage. It's so descriptive, so heartwarming, and so bittersweet at the same time.

I could go on and on and on for ages, but I'll stop since we've got a flag to find. ;)

Keep writing Adi!! You're awesome!
LL

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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing the earth and the sky

12th April 2015:
Hey Adi!

I'm here for CTF Round 6/7 with the honour of reviewing this wonderful one-shot. I don't even know where to start with the emotions this gives me but I'll try and review as I go. Firstly though, I want to applaud you. I know how much work you put into this one-shot and it's truly an amazing piece of work and you should be so so proud of yourself. It's all paid off and this is absolutely wonderful. I will try not to just gush and fan girl the whole way through...

Astoria. She fascinates me as a character and she's one I love reading about and trust me you did not disappoint. I love her caring nature and how she's drawn to Draco. She isn't perfect either and I think you successfully capture a lot of her flaws. And Draco, he's so broken to start with. I think you've really done the post war Draco here justice. With the nightmares and drink and him just basically trying to piece his life together after all that happened to him. But you also put him through a lot of hardships and I love the mature version of him you create. Great job.

The descriptions throughout this piece are just so vivid. You've chosen your words so well, they flow like poetry and if this piece wasn't wonderful enough already your choice of words makes it an absolute joy. Each scene you go into more detail in I can see playing in my head perfectly. The details you've added are also so cute. Like Astoria can't cook.

The Chase. I love how you call it that when it really isn't much of one to begin with. I truly believe the best relationships can come out of friendships and that's how they start really. There's so many little details, like the fact they don't always have to speak so they're clearly comfortable in each others company.

Astoria is so patient kind and caring despite Draco's denial that there's something there. You can hardly blame her for turning him away when he shows up drunk and slobbers all over her. I'm really glad she does. It shows she has some gumption about her. I'm equally glad though that she goes to him in the end. It's clear he needs her and after pleading with her (very un-Draco like so he must be desperate) I think she can be sure he's going to actually try.

Then we move into the next section and my heart is literally bursting at the two of them. I totally understand how Draco is feeling - I know what it's like to attend school with someone for 5 years and never know them, never truly see them and then all of a sudden things can change so quickly and you wonder how you could have missed them for so long when they become such a huge part of your life. That section was perfect to me and I loved it.

The next one I have to comment on is the ring buying. I was crying with laughter bless him... rings changing size to the finger (so much more convenient!!) and the whole "Stone? Yes. I wasn't asking if you wanted one, sir. Which one, I meant." was brilliant. A lovely touch of humour. I also adore the "Had there ever been any other answer?" theme going through this section too. It fits perfectly for the moving in, permission to marry, and will you marry me questions in this section.

I love how you brought the rain back in this too, going full circle on the new start aspect of it. Clever.

And then oh. The next part. Break my heart much Adi!! Eugh. I love your analogies on marriage... the smiles that fix what words can't, and sharing a bed but not facing the same way. Little things but all very true. Marriage isn't easy, it's something you work at and you captured that here.

But the baby thing? So sad for the two of them. You wrote the experience well and my heart really broke on it.

And you don't let it get any better do you you meanie?!? Firstly, let me say that using the attack on London this way and bringing it into your story was very well done. You did it delicately considering the subject and also put it into your story seamlessly. I'm also glad (even though it was horrible to Draco) that you didn't just have him recover perfectly. I like that wizard magic can't solve everything, it shouldn't. It's awful that he ends up deaf but he can learn to deal, and he does.

Astoria is clearly not perfect and goes through a hard time, ending up with Blaise. I'm glad nothing happened and she realised how much Draco meant to her. I much prefer it that way. But it was good to see you bring out Astoria's flaws too.

Yes Rose and Scorp! I love that you got them in there!!

Third section - it should get better right? Course not Lauren... this is Adi! Now it's Astoria's turn, we have no misleading happiness to start with we're straight in to the horrible symptoms. I'm kind of worried about Astoria's nonchalant attitude to it but going to the healer just confirms the worst. Death Wish. Nicely done - I remember having conversations over what to call the disease you created and I think you went for the perfect choice.

It's kind of sad, and you sum it up in one line how one doesn't speak and one doesn't hear. The one cute thing (if I pretend Astoria isn't dying) is their communication despite what they go through.

Of course I knew she was going to die. There was only one ending. Still, the pain and the way you write it, it still really got to me. Again all I can do is commend your writing and move on before I cry too much...

Oh my god the last section. Adi! Now I really am crying. I'm so glad you gave them that section. You put them through so much but in the end they were reunited. I LOVE that you did the whole Hogwarts express thing, it tied everything up so neatly. The fact she had never got off the train waiting for him was also really sweet.

Oh Adi, so much emotion. This one shot is amazing, honestly. Running out of chars though so I can't say much more. Just wow.

Lauren

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Review #13, by blondebehaviour-round 4 the earth and the sky

7th April 2015:
Adi hello!

I'm just going to gush for the next few lines. This was beautifully written. Absolutely beautiful! The imagery you used throughout was amazing and helped bring the storyline to life. I particularly loved your use of "it bleeds into his voice" I thought that was amazing. But really, the imagery in the entire thing, to bring out both the pain in Astoria and Draco, and the equal love as well, it was captured so so so well, I can't explain enough how well written I think this was. :D

I really liked where you took Draco and Astorias story as well. It wasn't the most happiest of routes, but it gave them depth and character, and I feel like it is something that would work with the two of them. For Draco to lose sound, after a bomb accident would be absolutely horrible! And poor Astoria to lose her babay and end up with a sickness, they both had their own battles to fight, and you showed how they fought them beautifully. I love how you wrapped it all together with the Hogwarts express, kind of reminded me of the end of titanic in the cutest way possible!!

Absolutely beautiful, really really enjoyed this Adi, great job!

Grace

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Review #14, by TreacleTart the earth and the sky

2nd April 2015:
Hi Adi.

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Swap for the month of March.

I was a bit intimidated by this when I saw it at first. 10,000 words in one chapter is an awful lot, but it reads really well. Even though it is long, I didn't feel overwhelmed reading it. It has something to do with the way it just flows.

I loved the idea of seeing an entire lifetime of moments between Draco and Astoria. It was masterfully done. Starting with them as a booty call and working all the way to death, we really get to see the evolution of the relationship. I like that it isn't always easy, that there's moments of doubt, moments of pain, and moments of sorrow wrapped into the happiness. This is incredibly true to real life. Nothing is ever always one way or another. Happiness is always tempered by pain and vice versa.

I appreciated your characterization of Draco. Too often I feel like people either write him as really whiny or super cold and callous, but you managed to make him seem human. He's a disaster after the war and somehow he manages to find himself. And then he finds Astoria. And they find this beautiful life together.

I also really liked the humanity in Astoria's struggles. She doubts Draco. His words creep into her mind at inopportune times. At one point, she doubts things so much she throws herself into Blaise, but then she realizes how foolish she is being and returns home committed to love harder.

To me all of this speaks of a real love. It doesn't read like the storybook type romances so many of us are fed as children. Reality is that love is a struggle. There are heartbreaking moments and things that will test it. Sometimes those things will break it, but if you manage to overcome them you know you have a good thing.

This was a truly lovely story. I read it after a long emotional day...so I was particularly happy that the ending was sweet. Not overly fluffy, just not dark. I don't think I could've handled anything else today.

Anyways...great work as always Adi! It's a pleasure reading your stories.


~Kaitlin

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Review #15, by Unicorn_Charm the earth and the sky

10th March 2015:
Hiya! Here for our swap! :)

Wow... I mean, just... wow! I don't even think I have proper words to describe just how incredibly, unbelievably, beautifully, tragically amazing this story was. Seriously this was just - gah! I can't find a word to describe this that would do it justice.

Ok, I'm going to try to collect myself enough to leave an even semi-coherent review.

I really loved how you showed how Draco was basically going through some pretty heavy ptsd in the beginning of this. I don't read much Draco, but the few stories that I have read always seem to kind of disregard the fact that he had suffered quite a bit, too. Yes, he did do some horrible things, but a lot of it was because he was forced to. I really am on the side that he did a lot of it out of fear and self-preservation. I don't think he was truly bad. And neither did Astoria, apparently. I loved the fact that she would not let him wallow in his self pity either. She pretty much had a, "Yeah, it happened. But you need to deal with it and move on," attitude. I think that would be something Draco would really need.

The evolution of his character was truly marvelous. It was almost like watching a flower slowly bloom. His love for her was really his saving grace, and it showed beautifully. I laughed out loud during his proposal to her. Just blurting it out without any build up, speech or anything. It was adorable and awkward and I just adored it! The way you described marriage was just great, too. That it's a learning experience. Which, I'm not married, so I can't say for sure, but I'd imagine that is pretty accurate. Things cannot be perfect 100% of the time.

Oh and you just killed me with the failed pregnancy and then Draco's accident! Hasn't he been through enough in his life? But it did make it much more realistic because, sadly, these things do happen. I mean, mass transit doesn't blow up every day, but still. It's a thing that does happen in our world. I think the part that got me the most about that was just how much better he seemed to be doing. I had such a clear picture of him in my head; wearing a new suit with his briefcase, finally feeling better and having a little bounce in his step, feeling hopeful with a new job and then his world came crashing down. It was just such a high to low moment that really got to me.

It was nice to see them adapt to his disability afterwards. Even thought Astoria did have a breaking point with Blaise, it really showed how strong their love was that she never gave up on Draco. And I think having Scorpius really helped them, too. Oh, and I loved that little line you through in about him coming home every summer and telling them they were crap at names. That was too funny. :) Also, the little wink at him having either red or blonde-haired children. Nicely done. ;)

Ugh and then if they haven't been through enough at this point, you throw the disease in! I think I just full out cried from that point on. I had a hard time getting through the rest of it, because I couldn't read through my tears. It just sounded like such a horrible and awful way to go. Not only that, but a horrible thing to watch someone go through. I can't even imagine out helpless Draco must have felt.

I loved the ending. Loved, loved, loved it. I know that might sound weird, because it wasn't exactly a happy ending, but it did give a feeling of closure.

Overall, this was spectacular! I was thinking while reading it that it had a very poem-y flow to it. Then I read your AN and it made sense why it did. But the short sentences and paragraphs really worked. It created a gorgeous flow and painted very vivid pictures in my head. It was perfect. Just all together perfect! I can't stress enough how wonderfully done things was and how happy I am to have done this swap with you. Thank you so much for sharing and giving me the opportunity to read such a beautiful work of art. :) ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #16, by alicia and anne the earth and the sky

10th March 2015:
Wow, those are some beautiful descriptions! You really have a wonderful way with words and it's great because it helps me to imagine the scene so vividly.

I am loving the short paragraphs, they have so much power to them and really make me intrigued. It tells the story and leaves me hanging. It's wonderful!

It's making me see just how big a demon Draco is carrying around inside of him and how Astoria is trying to help him. It's showing me the struggles of it all and how they're trying to deal with it.

You're making me feel so sorry for Draco, he's so broken and I'm praying that she would be able to fix him.

The way that Draco feels and thinks about her is making me smile like a goofy idiot! It's amazing! It's easy to see that she's the light in his life of darkness.

Oh no! I wish that asking Astoria's dad if he can marry Astoria went better, that upset me that he didn't seem to say yes and that he fired a spell/curse/hex at Draco. :( But at least her mother said yes, there's still time to work on her dad coming around to the idea of it all.

"
She closes her eyes and smiles, a little. Nothing is said.

How very Astoria of her." -- I absolutely adored this line.

Oh no! That was so sad with her having the miscarriage! I just. wow, such short sentences, some a few words long and yet there was so much meaning and emotion behind them. I have tears in my eyes and I... you are brilliant! You are such a fantastically talented writer! I bow down to your awesomeness!

Awww I am so happy that he's applying for a new job and that he's holding a briefcase! I don't know why that image is the one that's filling me with such warm fluffy feelings, but it really is.

Oh no! oh no oh no! Oh thank god he's alive! They're really going through some tough times! I want to hug them both so tightly and I wish that their happiness will be coming soon, they deserve it so much!! But he's not awake, I hope he gets better soon. :(

Oh no! He's awake but he can't hear and you're breaking my heart with how much pain they're going through. :(

YAY!!! They had the baby and I'm so happy for them!!

I love how real this all feels, how they go through doubts, worries and fears. How they fight, they forgive, they challenge each other. It's all just so real and touching and amazing and I have so many other words that I could say about it all, but it would just be me repeating myself over and over. Because this one shot is just too amazing!

Oh no! she's fainting and there's blood coming from her nose... please don't let her be sick.

Oh my god! I'm crying! I'm crying so badly. I can't believe this is happening to her and them, I wanted them to be happy and live happily ever after, they deserved happiness after everything that's happened... my heart is so broken right now.

Wow!! I just... there are no words strong enough to tell you just how beautiful this was. How amazing this is and how talented and awesome you are!

Just... I am speechless!

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Review #17, by milominderbinder the earth and the sky

8th March 2015:
hi hun!! i'm here for our review swap! and W O W was this worth a read

honestly i want to apologise in advance because no review i could write would do this justice. i usually save my favourite quotes for reviews when i read longer stories like this, but here i was just so immersed in the whole thing that i totally forgot! so instead you can have me rambling about your insane writing ability for a few paragraphs

seriously, though, i can't put into words how great this was. i've never been particularly into draco - i don't hate him but i just don't think much about him or read fic about him or anything. but i did recently write an astoria/parvati fic (which may well be the one you're reviewing depending on which of my two you choose, lol) which forced me to take a look at draco and astoria's marriage more than i ever had before. while i went the route of them being unhappy in an arranged marriage, you took it so completely differently, and honestly i just adore this version. though i think with writing like this you could have made me adore ANYTHING, really

the whole thing just seemed to flow so perfectly. we didn't seem to miss a single moment of their lives, despite the fact that really we only saw a small collection of moments out of all the billions. but you just had such a way of choosing the exact perfect scene to sum up each stage of their relationship. it was such a pleasure to read. i was grinning through parts of this and on the verge of tears for others, and somehow all of it was equally enjoyable to read

the ending just about killed me, though. after all the sadness and all the happiness and all the /everything/ of their lives together, reading about astoria's death was just heartbreaking, and i felt for draco in a way i really never have before. but then when they were reunited - and the fact that she WAITED for him all that time. i just can't. it's too emotional, they are basically the personification of soulmates here and it kills me

thank you so much for the review swap and for inflicting this beautiful, breathtaking, heartbreaking, rollercoaster of a story of me

~Maia xx

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Review #18, by HeyMrsPotter the earth and the sky

8th February 2015:
Hi, Adi! Here with your requested review/cheer up!

As you said in your request, I have read a lot of Draco. I really love your portrayal of him. I think it's often not considered how the war would have affected him, but it really smacks you in the face right from the start of your story. I liked his almost hatred of himself, feeling as though he didn't deserve to have survived the war, and I loved Astoria's total lack of pity for him. She had a real 'suck it up and get on with it' attitude that he definitely needed. Him turning to drink for comfort seems such a normal thing to do. I really enjoyed seeing how he changes throughout the story with Astoria in his life, and the snapshots of the proposal and the wedding were beautiful. The addition of parts from Astoria's point of view didn't disrupt the flow at all, I really liked the voice you gave her.

It's amazing how you managed to write their whole life together so seamlessly. (Also, I LOLed at the sneaky little mention of ScoRose and the red or blonde haired grandchildren :p) Him being in the accident was a total shock, but it worked so well in the story. It was something that was so beyond any of their control, but had as big of an impact on their lives as any of the other events you wrote about.

I thought you did real justice to all of the sensitive issues you tackled in this story. Brief as it was, the miscarriage was heart-breaking, and I liked that they didn't just immediately move on from that. Draco's loss of hearing was another unexpected event, but again the after effects of the accident just made it seem all the more realistic. And then Astoria's death! Her illness was so sad, Draco's desperation to keep fighting and keep trying something new reminded me of Astoria's after Draco's accident. The section between Astoria's death and Draco's was probably the saddest for me. I can't understand how when one person in a marriage dies after a whole life together, the other person goes on, and Draco barely did. You portrayed his grief and loneliness so so well. I adored the ending, after such a sad story for the most part, it was nice to end on a lighter note. The idea of them reuniting and her having waited for him for so long was just adorable.

I am beyond amazed at how brilliant this story is, Adi. I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time, I hope writing this helped. I loved reading it!

Dee :)

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Review #19, by Lostmyheart the earth and the sky

28th December 2014:
REVIEW 2 OUT OF 5

Oh my god, Adi.
This (incredibly) long story was beautiful. It was a journey full of love, hope, sadness, death and everything else. I really loved those short bits here and there, where we get to see small moments between Draco and Astoria. They were perfect, and they gave a good image of how they worked together, how much they loved each other.

Of course they didn't get an easy life after war, and then the miscarriage happened, making it more difficult for them. But I like that they kept going, they kept 'fighting' for a better life, to get better, to live.

The end, it was breathtaking. I couldn't help but smile, they were so adorable! Finally together again. Ugh.

I loved reading this story, it was absolutely stunning and so well-written!

Hugs,
Avi

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Review #20, by TheHeirOfSlytherin the earth and the sky

23rd December 2014:
Don't worry, I totally didn't need my heart... *sniffles*

I love Draco/Astoria in general, but now that you've written this as Draco/Astoria, I just cannot imagine another pairing having a life like this. More than that, I refuse to. Things were so happy and so sad and so bittersweet in all the right places and no one else can have a life as beautifully written as this. Nope. This is theirs forever. *squishes Draco/Astoria*

I don't really know what else to say, other than to gush about how much I loved reading this. I honestly forgot how long it was and by the time the end came, I was wishing it wouldn't end. But it ended perfectly, with Astoria waiting for him as he would have done for her, no doubt. Given everything they've been through, with the miscarriage and everything.

Especially the 7/7 bombing in London. I remember that and have it written that Draco was there... I feared for his life. Astoria was being bombarded with hugs at that point. To have him lose his hearing was an interesting part of his character, a struggle to go through. And I love how they worked through it and didn't let it define Draco, like I kind of got scared he would.

Scorpius! I just need you to know how cool I think he is. :D

I loved this so much!

Sam.

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Review #21, by Lissa the earth and the sky

16th December 2014:
I absolutely love this.

This is the first Draco/Astoria fic I've read, ever (because of my own reservations), but it is probably the best I'll ever read, honestly.

Everything about this fic is amazing. You portrayed them realistically, I think. I was drawn in and you made me feel their feelings, made me want their wants, made me need their needs. I cannot express how amazing this is - I adore it and it'll probably be a fic I read more than once!

Amazing job - 100/10, if I could!

~Lissa

Author's Response: Hello Lissa :)

I had my own reservations about them too. But then I read more and started writing about them. Now, I actually really like this pairing. I'm glad you gave my story a shot even though it isn't your thing.

I'm so relieved that it came across as realistic and intense. I'm really happy to see how much you've enjoyed this fic. Feel free to drop by anytime! ;)

Thanks again ♥


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Review #22, by Gem the earth and the sky

8th December 2014:
I haven't had time to read much of anything recently, and had forgotten words could have this kind of power over me. Thank you for reminding me and for your beautiful writing.

Author's Response: Hi Gem! I don't think I can thank you enough for this lovely review. To be able to have that kind of effect on anyone is amazing, and I'm still shocked that I managed it. I totally understand what you mean though. Words are beautiful, beautiful things, and I love playing with them. Thanks again for this ♥

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Review #23, by Lympha the earth and the sky

5th December 2014:
I really enjoyed this story. Thank you!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review ♥

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Review #24, by Aphoride the earth and the sky

23rd November 2014:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so this is going to take me a while, but considering you said this means a lot to you and it's very important, I think it doesn't really deserve any less, you know? So, really, I'm going to try and do this story some sort of justice in this review... and not, you know, butcher the whole idea of justice :P

The themes you wrote in this are so incredibly difficult, you know - loss of sense, ptsd and trauma, insomnia, hints of alcoholism, and then the miscarriage and Astoria's illness at the end. You handled them so well and so sensitively, with this sort of strange beauty through them. Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, you managed to write about those difficult, testing conditions and still make this a love story, still include happiness in it, and still have them win, in the end. It's incredibly beautiful and wonderful and yeah... it's just amazing.

I'm sorry, I don't normally get affected by things I read or write or watch so this is a bit strange for me, tbh. I'm not crying, if I'm honest, but I feel very much affected by this - it really made me think and feel for them, and feel like I understand life a little more, in a way.

It probably makes no sense. Sorry about that :P

The way you characterise Astoria and Draco is equally brilliant. I love how you bring out both their fully range of qualities and bad traits, you know. They're both so utterly human at the end of it - Astoria wants to help Draco, he's scared, but wants help, she refuses him, he asks again... it's just such a lovely little dance-like thing they have at the beginning, before their relationship sort of properly gets underway, but even then, as the reader, it feels inevitable, you know? And there's something wonderful about that.

Plus, I love the changes they go through - I love how you didn't shy away from the idea that dealing with someone, and a marriage, can be difficult, and it can get sluggish and you can almost feel like giving up - and I loved how Blaise was the one to shove Astoria back and that when she came back, they worked, which again is such a realistic idea, and they found happiness. It's really so true to life, and makes you feel for them even more.

I was so struck by Astoria's illness turning up, because I didn't really expect it. I was kinda hoping they could be happy and just live and be together, because, really, they deserve to be, after everything, but I guess that's part of life, right? Things happen, and you have to face up to them. Again, in this the emotions were so on point it was unreal; the fear, against the fearlessness of the young ('dying is something other people do') it was so, so good. And I loved the little mention of Draco talking to Daphne and wishing she'd died instead; people do that! It's not nice, it's not something they'd ever necessarily admit, but they do. It's such a human foible, I love it.

The train station scene was so perfect as the ending - especially after Draco managing to find joy in his life at the end, and then finally meeting her again, and she'd waited for him... gah, it was so sweet! Somewhere in wizard heaven, they're in a house by a river together :)

Your writing was stunning. Honestly, I don't get moved by things - I just don't. I appreciate them, but I rarely ever actually feel things. And this one I did, so all the kudos to you for that :)

This was an absolutely stunning one-shot. It's amazing. Even more so if this is incredibly personal to you, because it's always so hard to tackle issues you've faced or people close to you have faced. I haven't been able to do that yet myself, so I really find it amazing.

I must find a thread to recommend this in... (after sleeping coz it's late here :P) :)

Love. Love. Love. Favourited.

Aph xx

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Review #25, by TidalDragon the earth and the sky

23rd November 2014:
Adi.

I don't even know where to begin. This story is amazing? You dedicated a story to me? How about here - only bit of CC - you MUST delete this apology about the story being Draco-centric! That doesn't matter! It's totally irrelevant!

Honestly, I could go on for an absurdly long amount of time about everything I love about this story - the brilliance of the structure, the majesty of how you fused their once separate existences together into one that felt real and authentic AND allowed you to speak for and from both of their perspectives nearly simultaneously, the beautiful devices and refrains you crafted for pivotal points - I haven't read something this exceptional in a LONG time. Including from published authors.

That was about MORE than just the story and writing though. Before you even said it at the end, I already knew this story touched you deeply. And you know what? It really touched me. Brutal honesty, I didn't ever think a story about love and loss and recovery would ever REALLY hit me again. Because life, and how can a story compare to your own visceral (though very different) experiences with it? It's sad and cynical, but I just didn't think it would happen.

But today it did. Because of you. I rarely even ALMOST cry. But this story got me right there to the brink. And what makes it even more impressive is how you did it without personally experiencing so many of the gut-wrenching topics you wrote about in this piece.

I'm rambling now, and it's not even 100 percent about the story, so I'm going to stop because I just don't even have any more words to be coherent.

You are a sensational writer! You are a WONDERFUL friend! Your story is...crazily-amalgamated-string-of-superlatives! Seriously. I will never forget this.

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