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Reading Reviews for heaven
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by karlydeanna can't help me now

12th June 2015:
(Slytherin for HC 2015)
Me again! I adore how you captured the essence of Taylor Swift's song so perfectly with this story. I feel like if this song was written about a story rather than the other way around, it was written about the story of Lily and Mystery Man/Alastair. From start to finish this story was a whirlwind and it tossed my heart around -- and I am so happy for that! I really like how it was split into different sections each telling small parts of the story, because it helped speed it along and make it seem so much more real, as if what happened in between wasn't all that important. It's late and I'm rambling, but I loooved this story so great job.

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Review #2, by Beeezie can't help me now

16th May 2015:
Ooooh are some of your next gens in the same overarching universe? I don't think I knew that!

Or maybe just these two are. Either way, why haven't I stalked your author page before? I've loved both fics that I've read so far, and oh I love this song so much. So this is all kinds of win, really.

(Now I'm listening to 1989. I suspect that I will continue to do so for the rest of the day. HOW DARE YOU. Wow, I love this CD so much.)

ANYWAY.

This was such a wonderful fic on so many levels. Your description was absolutely perfect - I felt like I was watching a movie, and I could totally see the draw of Alastair. By the time I was halfway through, I kind of wanted to get into a passionate secret romance with him! You just made their relationship so lovely and real and secret without being... well, illicit? If that makes sense?

It also gave a lot of new meaning to Cherish, and now I'm going to have to go back and reread it knowing that this was how their relationship began and how fleeting she'd assumed it would be.

On that topic: I actually really liked that Lily was so convinced that their relationship was fleeting, and he seemed to be... not pushing for something more, exactly, because I didn't feel any pressure there, but have faith in something more? Maybe? Sort of? And I loved that in the end, she was kind of proven wrong.

Loved this so much. ♥

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Review #3, by Malia Tate can't help me now

24th April 2015:
Hi Sarah.

I'm Malia Tate. My friend over at the forums told me you know something about an alpha in your fictional world. I didn't actually get the details... okay, I got the details, I just didn't pay attention when they told me. So I'm not really sure what you're suppose to know, but I'm hoping you can figure it out yourself. Anyway, we need your help, so I'm going to leave you a review, and in return you're going to tell us whatever it is you know that we need to know.

I think it's a good story. I'm not exactly the lovey-dovey type, but I have boyfriend, you know, so I can relate to not wanting to be forgotten, to be willing to risk falling love even if all you've ever known is that things will always come end. Because I don't much family, I've been living in the woods as a coyote for years. And one thing you learn from that, is that there is no such thing as forever or always. Things come to end in one way or another, the question is really just whether or not one can find a way back to each other after it's ended. And they could, so I think it's a good relationship.

The time jumps were interesting. I don't really know much about this HPFF world of yours, but from what my friend has told me, it's not really that common that stories (and especially one-shots) have time jumps. But I loved them. It was nice to see the development of a relationship, it made me remember when I first met my boyfriend, Stiles.

Anyway, it's a good story. And now that I've left you a review, I think you should tell us what you know about this alpha in the fictional world. Is he dangerous? Do we need to fear him? I can't stick around to hear the answer, because Kira just called. Apparantely they've found something, and they need me to come over. Could you maybe tell my friend over at the forums what it is you know that we need to know?

Hope you can help us out!

Malia Tate

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Review #4, by Santa Claus can't help me now

7th January 2015:
Alright, Miss Sarah. The final day of Secret Santa is upon us. And so I am doing what I shall call... Review-Sprinting. Basically, I'm going to try to get through all of the rest of your stories (or as many of them as I absolutely can) before revealing myself. Because you have so many stories/chapters, the reviews I leave will also be much shorter than my usual long-winded ones.

So, you ready?

*stretches fingers*

I'm ready!

Here... we... GO! ♥

So in the beginning - the way they met, the way they got to know each other a little bit better (really everything before the kiss) - I was afraid this story was going to be just a bit too fluffy for my taste, but immediately after the moment they kissed and the line that followed it, I completely fell in love. The story really became so much more than I initially thought it would by creating this internal struggle that Lily goes through over Alastair. I think many people can relate to the position she's in - almost allowing herself to be used, because it feels so right to be doing what she knows is wrong. It's a thrill, and you try not to let yourself feel more than you're meant to, because you know deep down inside that this is not a forever thing, you can't quite help yourself, can you? haha Yes, I remember those days well myself... :-p

BUT THEN TWIST! They do work out in the end - even if he did have to leave her for awhile! Yay for happy endings! ^.^ I'm glad that Lily was wrong - that her trepidation regarding Alastair was mostly in her head. It's so nice when people surprise you by being better than you thought they'd be or by loving you more sincerely than you thought they ever could.

This was probably my favorite quote: Even as the kiss took *ehr breath away and the seconds melted into minutes, Lily knew that this would be fleeting. - And she was okay with it because it would be remarkable. - *her - I love this line. I love the way it's written, I love the idea behind it, I love that it nearly took my breath away. It reminds me that sometimes mistakes are worth making.

Beautiful job.

Santa

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Review #5, by Infinityx can't help me now

2nd December 2014:
Hi Sarah, here for the BvB!

So, I read this one-shot a while ago when you posted it but I couldn't get around to reviewing it. I love how you've woven this around Wildest Dreams, I absolutely love that song. (and every other song in her album :P) Taylor Swift would probably be honoured that someone wrote such a beautiful songfic. :D

Your characterizations of Lily and Alastair are brilliant. They're each their own person but somehow are so good together. I've read a lot of your stories with Lily in them and I love how there's some difference in the characters in each but they retain the basic personality traits which connects them all. (if that makes any sense)

I was almost in tears by the end of this. I mean, I can totally relate to how Lily is feeling. The line "you're going to break my heart, but it'll be extraordinary." That just gave me so much feels, you have no clue Sarah, this story speaks to me. And the way she thinks that saying I love you is a mistake and how he'll end up leaving. I can't even.

THE ENDING IS JUST SUPER SWEET AND I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES. Seriously, my heart broke when Lily said he was just a memory. And then he came back. HE CAME BACK. :') I really want to know what happened during those months he left though. I totally ship these two now. Your writing is beautiful and the way you've divided the sections according to timeline does wonders. I was able to visualise every single scene and feel everything that Lily was feeling. Please write another fic about them, I really want to know what happened in between and how their lives were after this.

Loved. Each. And. Every. Word. Of. This.

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Review #6, by ravenclaw_princess can't help me now

20th November 2014:
Hi, here for the BvB review

This was such a lovely story. AS I was getting further and further towards the end I was kind of getting a little sad because Lily was so certain the relationship was going to end, and I was thinking no no no no no no.it can't end, they're so sweet together. It definitely kept me engaged with the story and kind of on the verge of tears. Thankfully though, the 'break up' part of the story was kindly written, saving me from becoming a blubbering mess, and then things got happy again :)

I loved the flow of the story. there was a nice transition between different events and the dates worked well in this story to show the passage of time. This method can sometimes break the flow of a story, but I think here, it enhanced it. Each section showed a unique and powerful snap shot of their time together, avoiding the need for filler paragraphs.

I loved Lily's characterisation. I've always enjoyed writing her and I can be a bit picky with how she's portrayed (I don't like the spoilt brat type), but I think you got her spot on. She has a spark within her, but she's not pretentious. I do wonder why she was so sure that the relationship would end though. This sort of thought usually brings about destroying the relationship for the mere fact you think it will end. Could be for many reasons, but i kind of got the sense that Lily didn't think she was good enough for him, and that he would get bored of her and move on.

There were a few spelling errors, but easy things to pick up with another read through.

Lovely story. It was so much fun to read and I'm very glad there was a happy ending.

Jacqui x

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Review #7, by nott theodore can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Hi Sarah!

Okay, so first I need to apologise for being so late with this review - especially after you were so quick with yours (and it was lovely and amazing and thank you so much! ♥). My internet kept cutting out and I just couldn't post this (and ended up getting side-tracked by writing something too *blushes*), but I wanted to make sure you got it before I went to bed (it's nearly two in the morning here...)

I absolutely loved this story! I honestly don't normally go for song fics, so even though I wanted to read this after seeing your status last night, I was a bit nervous because your writing is always so good and I didn't want to let my aversion to song fics get in the way :P But I thought you did a really good job of choosing the song lyrics and fitting them into the story so they felt like they actually enhanced the telling of it, rather than just disrupting the flow which I think often happens.

I've read a few different versions of your Lily Luna now and I'm really impressed with the way you write her. Each of your portrayals of her, in the different stories that I've read, is subtly different, but I like the way you manage to pair her with different people and put her into different scenarios and still make sure certain traits shine through. (Also this is making me want to read your NaNo novel even more now, so you should make sure you keep writing it ;))

I thought the different sections of this story worked really well, especially with the dates and the song lyrics. The dates did a great job of setting a sort of time frame in my mind of Lily and Alastair's relationship, and that helped a lot in terms of the sort of themes you used here.

The way that you started this was so great, with Alastair approaching Lily at the party and trying to chat her up with an awful line which doesn't impress her at all - I thought it was great that they both referred to their siblings when they first met, and it kind of already established some sort of link between them from the very beginning. And I can definitely imagine Albus and James trying to warn Lily off from guys like that :P

The development of their relationship was really cute, too. I thought you did such a great job of portraying the different aspects of the time they spent together - one side more physical and another more emotional, and I think that the varying lengths of the sections helped to contribute to that, too. Changing the lengths a little bit made this more interesting, and even the shortest sections seemed to be the perfect length for that particular moment.

Alastair was so cute! It was really sweet to see the way he was actually interested in Lily as a person, rather than just wanting to have some fun at the party, and that he stuck around and put so much thought into the different things that they did together. It made me smile to see him trying to convince Lily that he was planning for the future and that he wanted to stay around for her, and for the two of them to be together.

On the flip side of that, I'm really intrigued about why Lily was so convinced that he was going to leave her and that it was all going to end. Maybe that she's had bad relationships in the past, or that she doesn't feel worthy of having someone around (which is stupid, because she does). But I found it really interesting and sad at the same time, because she was so adamant that things were going to end between them that she couldn't fully enjoy what time she and Alastair did spend together.

I was so sad to see that Alastair did actually leave Lily, and that what she'd been so worried about happening actually came to pass, because I was really rooting for him and convinced that he was going to stick by her. It was really sad! But then to see the ending, and see that he was there and they were reunited, made me feel all warm and fluffy. In a way, thinking about it, I kind of feel like they had to separate for Lily to realise that she wanted him to stick around and had to hope for that rather than being convinced the whole time that he wouldn't be there.

I'm now imagining that Alastair is the unnamed husband in the other one-shot I recently read, .

The whole 'remarkable' theme tied everything in this piece together really well and I thought it helped it to flow a lot, so that it was really smooth writing. And I also wanted to comment on your writing style, which is lovely, because when I was reading this I got sucked in straight from the beginning and read right through to the end without stopping, and it just captured my attention completely.

I also want you to write more stories about Lily and Alastair, please :P I want to know what happened to them when they broke up and the conversation when they get back together!

This was a really great one-shot, Sarah, and thank you so much for offering the swap! (And sorry that I'm so late!)

Sian :)

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Review #8, by crestwood can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Hi Sarah!

Love when you incorporate music because it's so spot on for the story. You've basically brought the song to life in a lot more words. Like, if Taylor read this, she'd be like "THIS IS MY SONG IN A STORY I SHOULD RELEASE THIS WITH MY ALBUM"

I've never read anything like this before on this site. I've seen stories where the characters think their relationship might not last, but there's something about the way Lily is just so sure of it. She's almost fatalistic, as if it's already written in the stars that this guy is not for her.

This guy seems like a real charmer. He's being all romantic and polite and Lily is just completely laughing at him. Wow, I love both of them. Lily is the biggest skeptic of all time.

Scorpius does like, one thing in this story, but for some reason I just love him he's just all calm down Al don't do anything ridiculous we don't need another incident. Laughing so hard at this but I'm so bias honestly I think everything he does in every story is the best ignore all of this.

Their walk and their first kiss are pretty much perfect and then here comes Lily knowing that it'll be fleeting ahaha I love her attitude. Also, this line is perfection 'And she was okay with it because it would be remarkable'

Alastair says I love you to her and she says it back, knowing it was a mistake. She's so devil may care that it's actually thrilling. There's so many amazing quotes here like I want to start a Sarah quote challenge what even 'You're going to break my heart, but it'll be extraordinary" WHY IS THAT SO BEAUTIFUL. Twisted, but beautiful.

She is totally fixated on, like, being the one that got away. I kind of get it. She basically wants to be his greatest regret. She wants to be his point of comparison for future relationships.

Her whole tangent about what she wants him to remember is so expressive and eloquent and I kind of wish Lily was real because she is perfect

Lovelovelove the end when he comes back. Really feeling so much for them. I hope Lily believes that he's going to stay now, but also I want her to stay the same so you can see the issue there. Either way, I adore this story and you are so, so talented. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #9, by Aphoride can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Hey there - dropping by from BvB :)

So I loved this - especially the characterisation. It's such a clever idea - and I don't think I've ever seen something quite like this done in ff, or even really in of, with the whole 'she wants to remember it because she's convinced it won't last', like she's persuading herself early on to try and avoid heartbreak or something. It's such a cool idea.

Lily is such a good character - I loved how atypical she was for a romantic female lead, with her whole 'saying I love you is a mistake' thing and how she's sort of just waiting for it to be over throughout the whole story. It's kinda sad, in that way, but it makes her so amazing, and you get this wonderful sense of fear, and nervousness and yet this almost longing to be free from it - so it really makes her this incredible, real character.

Mystery guy was great, too :P I loved how he sort of remained mysterious throughout it - like he was always sort of idolised by Lily, and idealised, so he was this mysterious, volatile, fun figure - and remarkable, too, haha - and seemingly almost perfect in her eyes, and so to us too, but it worked so well because of the whole juxtaposition between the perfect-ness of the relationship and Lily's almost fear that it's going to end, and not believing that he won't, or refusing to believe he'll stay. It was almost like he was a sort of physical representation of that feeling of Lily's, you know? which is kinda meta in a way :P But no, I loved how traditionally romantic he was - smooth, handsome, kind, etc.

The writing in this was lovely too - though there were a few places where you used commas where you should have used semi-colons, but it's nothing big ;) - it has this lovely clean style which I'm so jealous of because I can't stop waffling for the life of me. There was something almost honest about the way you wrote it, and I loved the different sections with the different dates and scenes. It worked so, so well.

So yeah, I really loved reading this - it's a great little one-shot! :)

Aph xx

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Review #10, by wolfgirl17 can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Hey Sarah,

This story was really sweet. I think you really nailed that wistfulness of relationships that makes people wonder if they'll still be together 5 years in the future, and if they're not, will they be remembered? =)

I really enjoyed this.

xx-Wolfgirl

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Review #11, by BitterSweetFlames can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Sarah. :) I hope you're sleeping as I'm writing this review because, hell, it is late.
Okay, so I want to talk about this fic. Seriously, when did you write this? And why are you so brilliant?

Anyway, I love the way you used the song in this. I think you're brilliant in using songs and quotes in your fics. Such a skill, Sarah. So, I particularly loved how you didn't really tell us who Alastair was (nice name btw.:)) but we know the sort of guy he is from Sarah's point of view. (My god, he's dangerous. My heart melts in the face of such men. -shivers-)

But your narrative. It was heart-breaking and hopeful at the same time! I mean, Lily was in love with him but you made her such an, idk, realist that she can accept, before it's happened, that he'd leave her. But it really breaks her heart when he seemingly does.

BUT...Thank you for the way you ended it. Sure, it took him a long time to come back and I can hit for that but he CAME BACK. It was so joyous and I think, in some way, he loves her too.

Thanks for sharing, bby. WRITE MORE. BUT SLEEP TOO.

--Carla

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