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Reading Reviews for An inky black heart.
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisies The ebony vessel.

12th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Hufflepuff

WOW. That was beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous. I see you wanted some feedback on the writing style, and I have to say, if you were at all worried about it, you shouldn't be. I love the melodic quality of the words, and I think it gives a dissonant vibe that works really well with the subject matter. I loved the repetition of words and the artistic lack of capitals, both really added to Snape's mindset here. He's obsessing obviously, and the lack of capitals make it seem as though he's doing it very quickly, or even without realizing it. This was wonderfully effective for the portrayal you wanted for Snape, and it was an absolute joy to read!

Good work!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked as it was definitely one of the most ambitious pieces of writing I tried as it's just so different to other things I've written. Hahaha, yeah Snape does come across as quite the obsessive in this story but I'm glad that you liked it as it was just so much fun to write.

Thanks for the fab review! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #2, by Dojh167 The ebony vessel.

12th June 2015:
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015 Review

Wow. Your writing here is so untraditional and captivating. From the very first sentence I'm like "What in the world is happening I don't want it to stop." The rhythm is so delicious and it's not just weird words jumbled together as it could be, but the way you work the words really makes Snape's unique voice come out here.

Favorites:
"You dissect and bisect."
"The motley collection of shapes makes up her."
No. I am not going to list all my favorite parts. Too many.

I generally really don't like reading about Snape, but you've made this worthwhile.

Honestly, I would have enjoyed this story just for the way you work your words, but I really like that you didn't glorify Snape, but showed how contorted his feelings are. And through such wonderful, beautiful words! Truly masterful.

I really love that you used Hunchback of Notre Dame as an inspiration for this, and I think it's very fitting. Not just through the Frollo-Esmerelda relationship, but also the Quasimdo-Esemerelda relationship. A brief reference on Buffy the Vampire Slayer clicked that one into place for me.

Anyway... Loved it. Favoriting it.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hello there Sam! :D

Aw, thank you so much! I must admit my writing here is very different to how I tend to write but I think because of Snape's twisted personality it ended up more fragmented and almost darker too. It does mean a lot that you liked it though and that it wasn't too much.

Hahaha, I don't either but whoo for changing your mind.

No, Snape could never ever be glorified. He's too messed up to ever be that which is why I enjoyed writing this as I thought I could really lay his twisted character bare.

Yes, I was surprised by how well those two characters matched up as it was very very strange.

Thanks for this wonderful review it really made me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #3, by Roisin The ebony vessel.

12th June 2015:
Hey!

Wow, I really loved the rhythm of this piece. The repetition of words, or setting off strings of words, was really nice. It tied in really well with the heartbeat motif you set up earlier.

I have to assume that Snape is a kinda mixed up guy--at least when he was young. There has to be huge amounts of cognitive dissonance going on for him to love Lily and also want to join the Death Eaters. And the idea that he'd sell out her BABY SON and HUSBAND in exchange for her life indicates that maybe he didn't totally respect her as a person. You show that really well, here. She's just a kind of object of affection and desire, but actual respect for her individuality and personhood is absent.

CHILLING
EXCELLENT

xoxo
Roisin

House Cup 2015
Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hey there Roisin!

Aw, thank you so much! I definitely enjoyed including a rhythm in a story as I've written poetry and stories but this was the first time I've combined both and I enjoyed it a lot.

Haha, yeah kinda a mixed up guy is putting it nicely :P He was just so confused and so weird that I have to hate him almost at this stage of his life, as I don't think he could have genuinely loved Lily she was just an object as you said.

Thanks for this fab review, it really put a smile on my face! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #4, by Frankie05 The ebony vessel.

11th June 2015:
Patronus Charm. Wow

Frankie here for House Cup 2015- Gryffindor.

Wow. This was brilliantly written. It was so dark and eerie. It felt so sinister to see this from Snape's point of view. It seemed like he was obsessive (duh cause he was) and it was a bit terrifying. I was extremely impressed how you wrote this- the jaded thoughts of someone consumed with one person and the twisted deception they have let themselves fallen into. The finality of him looking in the mirror and seeing only lily gave me chills. How she haunts him. Is that now that she is dead or are they still in school and he's just lost her friendship because of his words?Wow. I can't believe it. Truly wonderful work. I look forward to reading some more!

Frankie

Author's Response: Hey there Frankie!

Aw, thank you so much for your lovely comments, they really made me smile! Hahaha, sinister is putting it lightly I guess as Snape really does have a messed up mind! I'm so glad that you liked the style as I did try out some new things here so I'm glad it paid off. Lily definitely does haunt him but I think it's through obsession rather than love or guilt as I just feel Snape is so far gone at this point he's incapable of either of those things.

Thanks for this great review! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #5, by toomanycurls The ebony vessel.

6th February 2015:
I need to know how you did it - characterized Snape so well in 500 words. I could write 5,000 words about him and not get it as well.

Snape's flood of emotions through this is so rich and full of confusing contradictions. Love was kind of an anti-emotion for Snape. He didn't associate anything positive with it as your descriptions talk about black ink, an obsidian obelisk, and being crippled/blinded. I feel as if this was a turning point for him where the idea of love hit him and caused a sort of panic. That definitely comes across in the chapter.

As he's sorting out want, need, and lust, it's as if he's trying to decompose love into baser terms.

I loved reading Snape going right over the edge with jealousy. The imagery you use with the words stabbing him, causing scars were perfectly vivid. Where most people see love as a healing power, it is descructive for Snape. That's so very fitting and very, very tragic as well.

I'm also not a fan of Snily but I like the way you served them up. It's unrequited, it's damaging, and most of all, destructive.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey Rose! Sorry about taking ages to reply to this! Haha, I think because it was such a complex story to write, I wanted to keep it as short as possible because it would be too hard to sustain otherwise. :P

I'm glad you picked up on the idea of it being a sort of anti-emotion for him, because unlike for the rest of us, it seemed to intensify his bad bits and make him worse rather than better. Yes, you are right about it being a turning point for him because it's almost as if he's being controlled by love.

Aw, I'm glad that you liked it, because it was definitely a lot of fun to write because love has so much power with the way it can build people up and bring them down too, it can be described in so many ways.

Whoohhoo, for damaging Snily, it's the only time I ever like so I'm glad that you enjoyed it too. Thanks for this fab review, Rose! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #6, by Benedrick Campersquatch The ebony vessel.

2nd January 2015:
Aaand...I have returned.

Hello, patronus_charm, it's me jumping out of your belated birthday cake holding a 'Surprise!' placard. If somehow you can imagine my voice, I'm speaking in a fake Russian accent. Happy belated birthday, by the way. Happy New Year as well. I've never understood why people continue to kick up such a bother over such occasions...especially when they come around so frequently. Too frequently, in fact.

Now, this story. Fascinating little piece. I ought to get Anderson to read this since he doesn't bother much with research on the differences between psychopaths and other serial killers, and this Snape character is teetering on the verge of murder. Maybe Donovan should read this as well.

Ah, this Snape. Fascinating, fascinating! I once solved a case involving someone like him; it kept me occupied for all of three minutes. This Snape character is obsessed. With love. With this Lily. You've depicted such a thorough and detailed picture of his psychological and emotional state, and the extent of his less than healthy fixation on Lily. Your writing is descriptive and fragmented, reflecting Snape's state of mind; I must say that your ability to understand these sorts of characters is incredibly useful to me. Would you like to solve crimes with me, patronus_charm? You'd be useful, exceedingly useful.

Something that I really enjoyed about this piece is the variation of sentences: the fragments and the repetition. There was quite a startling rhythm to the narrative, and it was quite reminiscent of a steady pulse, a heartbeat even, and I think it's a brilliant allusion to the title. Also, your use of colour and imagery (black and blood) is quite wonderful.

My favourite sentence would be: Words jump, spurt, spill, out of your mouth. Words you do not mean. Dirty words. Mudblood. Unclean blood. Brilliant way of tying everything together and putting the whole piece into context with canon. This is great writing, patronus_charm. Do think about my offer. And all the best festive wishes to you.

(Keep guessing in the Guessing Thread. I find your guesses amusing)


Benedrick Campersquatch

Author's Response: Hello Benedrick!

Thank you for this delightful present and as I adore Russian accents that request should be relatively easy for me and now I can't stop laughing whilst reading this review as it is making it quite a peculiar experience.

Thank you very much, as there is quite a difference as not all psychopaths are serial killers and not all serial killers are psychopaths. Why will he refuse to learn? You should try and prevent this murder though as it wouldn't be good at all if it was carried out.

Yes, I suppose his obsession for that Lily girl does seep out of him so it is rather hard not to notice it because even a child could realise what was going on. I am thoroughly glad that you approved of my depiction of Snape's state of mind as it was most intriguing to delve into the murky depths of his brain and try and figure out what on earth he thought at that time. I will most certainly solve crimes with you, Benedrick, as that would be thoroughly enjoyable!

Why thank you very much, as I had never thought of it like a heartbeat before, but it does make complete sense to me now and I'm glad that you liked how it was tied into the imagery anyhow.

Why, thank you for those kind words, they did touch the cockles of my heart!

Thank you again for this superb review!

-Kiana


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Review #7, by adluvshp The ebony vessel.

7th December 2014:
Hey! Here for the TGS review exchange. Sorry for the delay!

This was very, very interesting and awesomely written. I'm not a huge Snape/Lily fan either (I prefer James/Lily) and I always felt that Snape's 'love' for Lily was more obsession than anything, so I really liked how you wrote this. I loved the way you portrayed Snape's thoughts. The writing style was also very catching with the word repetitions. The entire idea of Lily haunting him, and the way he felt for her, all mixed emotions and stuff, was all very nicely done.

All in all, great job! I'm glad I read this =)

10/10
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there Aditi and it's no problem!

I'm glad that you liked it as that means a lot to me. Yes, even though I don't like Snape/Lily I still think it's possibly the most interesting relationship to explore in the HP world as no one really knows what went on between them which is why writing this was so much fun!

Thanks for the great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #8, by Cannons The ebony vessel.

23rd November 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

I picked this because I recently attempted the 'Every Word Counts' challenge myself recently and I am in the process of writing a one shot about Snape. So it was kinda perfect!

This was interesting to read and I really enjoyed it. It's so interesting to read these pieces because I know now, having attempted the challenge myself, every sentence is worth something to the story.

This line was perfect! - The word love turns you into an obelisk of obsidian.

As I read through this I was thinking how unique this style of writing is. I haven't come across anything quite like it on here before. Even though there was nothing but thoughts in this, there was a pace to it. You really felt as if you were in Snape's mind and his thoughts were just rolling and rolling. (don't know if that will even makes sense to you :P)The repetition defiantly added to the overall effect superbly.

I also think this is a pretty good representation of the 'relationship' between Snape and Lily, very realistic with the obsessive thoughts and feelings.

At first I was a little taken aback by how very dark Snape's thoughts were and how I never really thought he would come across SO dark. Once I thought about it though I realised that these are his thoughts and when we read/see him normally he obviously doesn't let his thoughts dictate his mannerisms/actions. He comes across as a very intelligent man, so ultimately I think these thoughts could be believable especially as they are about Lily.

Thanks for the read! :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad that I managed to pull you into the story as it's perhaps the most different story out of them all, but for that exact reason I love it so much!

Ooh thank you so much for these lovely compliments, they really did make me smile! Haha, it does make sense and I'm glad that it did feel like that as I wanted you to get the idea that Snape's thoughts about Lily were endless and always haunted him wherever he went.

I'm glad you liked the representation of Snape and Lily too as I realise it is a little different and out there, but for those reasons it was fun to write.

Erm, yeah, I blame Victor Hugo for that as he can suddenly turn very gothic so it does take you by surprise. I'm glad that you thought they could be believable as it does raise the question about what people are actually thinking as you never really get glimpses into their minds so you never really do find out.

Thanks for the great review! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #9, by BitterSweetFlames The ebony vessel.

23rd November 2014:
Hi Kiana! :D Here for the swap! :)

Oh Wow, the Every Word Counts challenge really is absolutely fabulous! It produces the most fascinating of entries and this one was no different. I was totally blown away by your style of writing in this fic. -jaw drop-

I love the repetition of words - it's so powerful and beautiful and chilling. Snape's mind is so scary in this, I find myself depressed over that (I just love Snape so much. haha). But the depression doesn't last too long because I am whisked away to another thought, another room in his mindpalace and it is just as intriguing and dark as the last.

I find the idea of obsessive love interesting, actually. I've had a long long long (see what I did there?XD) time to think about Snape's feelings towards Lily and I could never fully resolve it in my head. But you've managed to put a dark, twisted voice in there (my head, I mean) and, wow, it's insistent. (I don't know what to do with it!)

Anyway, I too am not a fan of Snily although for probably a different reason. But it is quite obvious you don't like them as a ship but it's okay because this was such a fascinating read.

And, again, thank you for the swap.

--Carla

Author's Response: Hey Carla, thank you for this amazing review, your lovely comments mean so much to me and they really did make my day!

Haha, yeah, it was rather fun to delve into his twisted mind and imagine all the crazy things which are happening in it as it's a bit unreal, but I'm glad that you liked it a lot.

Haha, I did, and even though I wrote this really dark and twisted version of their love in this story I'm still not sure if this is my head canon. I think it's just one of those weird pairings where you'll never be really sure.

I'm glad that you still found it a good read which means a lot to me, and thanks again for this fab review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #10, by wolfgirl17 The ebony vessel.

16th November 2014:
I'm beginning to love these Every Word Counts challenge entries. They are so powerful and this one is no different. I find myself very intrigued by this. It's so raw.

Excellent work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this surprise review and I'm so glad that you liked it as it was so much fun to write! Kiana :D

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Review #11, by nott theodore The ebony vessel.

12th November 2014:
Hello again, Kiana!

Mwahaha I told you that I'd be catching up with your stories once I finished NaNo, so now you know that I meant it - you're not getting away with posting a load of chapters and stories and me getting really behind again!

So I'm pretty sure that you're aware of my thoughts on Snape/Lily - that is, I don't like them as a pairing generally, except when I see it portrayed realistically and kind of darkly like this, because then I think it captures the relationship (if you can call it that, towards the end) between them really well and I generally prefer them written like this much more than other stories. But also massive kudos to you for trying writing them, since I don't think I could do it without going on a massive rant about Snape's character somehow :P

For 500 words you managed to pack such a lot into this story, although that really shouldn't surprise me because you are a brilliant writer and you always convey so much with your words. But well done on it because I felt like you told a proper story here, the story of Snape's obsession with Lily, and explored it really well in that small word count.

The style was different but really interesting and I thought it worked well - it was kind of like stream of consciousness, almost, and sort of showed how deep Snape's obsession with Lily is and also how chaotic his thoughts about her are. I kind of got the impression that he was obsessed with her but in a way he didn't want to be, and that love tortured him, and you captured that really well with all your word choices.

The descriptions were probably my favourite aspect of this story. Your writing and language is always so beautiful and lyrical, but I thought the colours in this were great - especially when the black seemed to always refer to Snape, as that ties in so well with his outward appearance as well, but here it's his heart that's black, maybe because of - or in spite of? - this twisted love for Lily.

I thought you did a fantastic job of capturing his obsession as well, especially with the way that you used the lists of three over and over again, things changing slightly sometimes - the repetitiveness of that really emphasised certain aspects of how he felt about her and demonstrated the obsessive side to his love brilliantly, I thought. I love devices like that, and it was used so effectively in this story.

Also, second person ♥ I really love second person too, and in a piece like this one I think it works so well because I really got drawn into Snape's thoughts and the way that he felt for Lily.

You also captured the nature of his love really well - it was sotwisted that it was really creepy and actually kind of scary! Like the fact that he thinks he loves her but also that he needs her, that there's a lot of lust involved, but then the darker side as well, when he becomes really possessive. I could imagine that tying in so well with the character we know from the books, because his love was obsessive and he wasn't happy when somebody else wanted her, or she spent time with others - even her sister. The 'Kill. Kill. Kill.' part was really chilling! And then I can imagine someone with this mindset kind of wanting to take revenge on Voldemort because he killed the person that Snape loved, but also that he was so obsessed with and it's all very twisted and I can't explain it properly, but it makes sense in my head and could fit really well with canon.

This was a really powerful piece of writing, especially within just 500 words, and I really loved reading it, Kiana!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian, sorry I've taken a while to get to this but here I am!

Haha, yay for Snily hate! You really should give it a try though as I had so much fun making Snape all dark and twisted and horrible, and it was almost a therapeutic process because by the end of it my feelings towards Snape were a lot calmer and I could appreciate him a bit more as a character. I'm so glad that you did like it though as I know you aren't a massive fan of non-canon pairings (even if this wasn't really a pairing) so that means a lot to me!

Aw, thank you so much! ♥ ♥ ♥ That means a lot to me, and I think doing all those different writing techniques in here did make it feel a lot fuller in a weird way.

Thank you again! You definitely got was I trying to get across with Snape because I feel as if he was almost enchanted by the idea of Lily and even though he knew it was an unhealthy one he couldn't break from it as much as he tried so he turned all dark and bitter and twisted. I'm so glad that you thought I managed to capture it though.

Yes, writing the colours was one of my favourite parts of the story as they're represented by such strong colours - Lily's red and then Snape's black, so when they come together I just think of this evil, twisted thing which may resemble love. As for Snape's heart being black, I think his twisted love for Lily was definitely a significant factor as it just warped his perceptions of reality.

Yay for the lists of three, it's one of my favourite writing devices so I'm glad that you liked it here too and that you thought it showed Snape's obsession for her.

Bahaha, second person, my go to, but I just first and third just wouldn't have worked here, so it had to be second. :P

Yeah, I was worried people would think I was a little crazy after writing this but Victor Hugo made Claude Frollo be such a creepy character it gave me so much inspiration for Snape that I just channelled Frollo whilst writing this. As you said, it is quite strange how this obsessive side of Snape could be canon Snape because obviously when we see him in the books he's calmed down a bit as she's dead and the love isn't as strong, but I can imagine in the Marauders era his love for her must have been quite terrifying for her. Yay for it making sense, because the whole thing with Voldemort and Lily is quite strange because I have two theories with this. The first is that Snape almost wants to kill Lily so he can have power over her and control her life so when Voldemort kills her he takes that away from Snape so that's why Snape hates him. Or that after her death, Snape becomes even more inward and twisted and channels that on Voldy so he switches sides as that's the only way he knows he can get revenge. Yeah, I don't know if any of those are likely but those are my two theories!

Thanks for this amazing review, Sian!

-Kiana


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Review #12, by Aphoride The ebony vessel.

10th November 2014:
Hey Kiana! Dropping by for the BvB review battle and just had to pounce on this! :)

I'm not much of a fan of Snape/Lily, either - though I do love an unrequited, dark Snape/Lily, which is exactly what you've written. It's such an obsessive, turbulent, twisted sort of relationship, particularly the way he viewed her, and you've captured that whole sense of it perfectly here, with the whole 'want want want' 'need need need' repetition through this, and the constant themes of obsessing, feeling he was only existing for her and so on. You manage to deal with so much in so few words in this - it's so amazingly impressive!

The way you characterised Snape in this is great, too - and I'm not just saying that because I love portrayals of him like this, where he's this tortured, possessive guy, who doesn't really almost understand how love works. You just get him so well in this - his conformity and lust for power, his lust for Lily and how he can only really focus on her, what she looked like and so on, how he hates other men and boys who like her, are connected to her in some way. You paint this very vivid, physical sort of relationship between them, with the way he feels about her. Everything is talked about in terms of physicality: proximity, looks, emotions. It's such an amazing theme and you write it so beautifully.

Speaking of - well, your writing is always gorgeous so that's no surprise - but I love the style of this. How it's sort of almost semi-stream of consciousness, you know, how it flows so perfectly, like thought, but isn't quite, almost as though he's remembering things. Your language, as well, is so beautiful - it's so evocative of pictures and emotions and really lends it this whole dark, disturbing air which I adore.

So yeah, basically, this is perfect and I love it :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura!

I'm glad you liked this then, as it was much more fun to explore the dark and twisted side where you can really get to grips with Snape's flaws rather than the unrequited side. I'm really glad that the obsessive side of his love came through though as it was quite hard to figure out how to show the obsession in only a few words, but I guess that was part of the fun too.

Bahahaha, it's fine and I love portrayals of him like this too as I feel as if that's the true Snape and we can really see what he's like here. Thank you so much, the compliments mean a lot to me! It was interesting that you picked up on the lust specifically though because when I was writing about this I realised a lot of Snape's actions could be interpreted as ones driven by the idea of lust and power and that would explain a lot of things.

Thank you so much but I do have to give a lot of credit to the amazing Victor Hugo as he did inspire a lot of this and if you haven't read anything by him, I really suggest you do as his work is just ♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you for this amazing review, Laura, it really did make me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #13, by BookDinosaur The ebony vessel.

8th November 2014:
Hello again, Kiana! Here for the BvB review battle. :D

Wah, this was amazing. I don't like Snily as a pairing at all, and just Snape is a awful person by himself without the whole Lily obsession, and at first when you described this as a Snily piece I was super nervoud about readong it because I don't like Snily. But this - you pulled it oof amazingly. It remains a fact that Snape loved Lily, no matter how nasty I find that, and to have it written about like this - showing him and his love as more of an obsession or out-of-control feelings, it's perfectly done and really just amazing. You know, I actually have a copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and I love the film version of it, and the comparisons between Snape's love for Lily and Frollo's love for Esmerelda is something I never even considered but it's so powerful all the same - obsessive and twisted, and people don't see that because of 'always' and gah just yes you've done this so well.

The imagery you used her is absolutely stunning, the ebony heart and the blackness of his love for her, it's amazing how you managed to bring it all out so well. You've brought out his motions so perfectly as well - I've said this so many times, but the plain, sheer obsessiveness of his love for her is haunting and you wrote that so, so well.

The repetition in threes was brilliant as well - you've used that really well in this piece as well, bringing out the harshness and the sort of OCD in his life when it comes to Lily.

You've managed to keep this within 500 words super super well, and if I had any critiques it would be that some of the sentences don't really sound natural? Like this one: The motley collection of shapes makes up her just doesn't sound natural if you say it out loud. I know its's super hard to get everything to flow in just 500 words, and overall you've done a fab job with it.

This was an amazing piece, Kiana, I'm glad I came to read it! ♥

Author's Response: Hey again Emily :D

Whoo, for Sniy hate, I feel as if we should form a gang or something as Snape is just Creepy with a capital C and more people really do need to realise that. Wah wah wah is the only way I can react to what you said as you are far too nice and yeah I just want to squish you in a totally non-creepy way right now. The comparisons between the two was only something which struck me at the end as it was like you either love me or you die and it reminded me of Snape and Lily in a way so I just had to go and write this. Yeah, the stupid always getting in the way :P I know what you mean about it though because thanks to that one word Snape is loved by all!

Wah, thank you so much though I do have to give credit to Victor Hugo for inspiring a lot of it as his writing is so dark and gothic it definitely inspired a lot of what was written here.

I'm so glad you liked the repetition of three too, as it always seems to crop up in my work but it just works so well for hammering home obsessive ideas.

Thanks for pointing that out as it was quite hard to keep a line between arty and too arty so I will definitely go and review it asap. :D

Thanks for this amazing review, Emily, it really did make me smile :D

-Kiana


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Review #14, by marauderfan The ebony vessel.

8th November 2014:
Kiana, I'm really not sure how to write this review and put all of my impressed-ness into words. Not only is this style so different to anything else you've written (that I've read), I've really not seen anything like this on the whole archive.

You've absolutely nailed the obsessive side to Snape in this. The repetition in threes was such an interesting touch - it's so fragmented, yet focused, and continues almost like the pounding of a drum. And of course, it reinforces the obsessiveness (because it's often a characteristic of OCD to repeat things a certain number of times).

The voice in this is so strong. I feel like Snape's mind is saying this all very sharply on a crackly vinyl recording in a dimly lit, cold room. ...I realise I'm probably making no sense, but what I'm trying to get across is that the clipped sentences and the repetition and the mentions of colours set the tone so effectively and the mood is established right from the beginning. It's strange, but so purposeful, and that's why I love it.

I don't know what else to say. It's brilliant. And the every words counts challenge too! SO much in just 500 words. Well done. :)

Author's Response: Hey Kristin, well you left me an amazing review so you made me day anyhow. Haha, I definitely no what you mean about the style but it was so much fun just to break down all the rules I highly recommend it!

I'm so glad you thought I got the obsessive side to Snape as that was what I really wanted to convey as it was quite some obsession he had over Lily.

Oooh, no it makes complete sense and now I have a really cool image in my mind so thank you for that as it's a really fab compliment. I'm glad that you did like it though as I was worried it would be a little to strange but phew it's not.

Thanks so much for this amazing review, Kristin, it really did make me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #15, by UnluckyStar57 The ebony vessel.

8th November 2014:
Hey Kiana!

I couldn't resist coming by to read this, as I'm very intrigued (and often disgusted) by the Snily dynamic. (Also, I'm procrastinating on homework, so thanks for the distraction!!)

In my (humble) opinion, Snily is best explored in short snippets. I know it's a super difficult thing to think about--I mean, there have been countless arguments and counterarguments for Snape's role as an insidious and borderline-abusive stalker, and it is just easier on the mind and the heart to keep things short.

Short, but not meaningless. Because good Merlin, there was so much in these 500 words that I hardly know where to begin.

It's been years since I've seen the cartoon Hunchback or read the book, but I definitely remember Frollo's lust and obsession for Esmeralda. You interwove those characteristics so well with Snape's personality that I couldn't see where Snape ended and Frollo began. Or maybe they're two sides of the same coin. Whatever the case may be, I think you did such a wonderful job exploring the awful effect that lust has on a relationship, especially since Snape's obsession haunts him until he can't even look into the mirror without seeing her face.

And the WRITING STYLE of this! Tell me, are you a poet? Because this has such a rhythm, so much intensity of feeling, and even though it's prose, it almost reads like a poem at times. How do you do this?! I am in awe. Seriously. Loved it. ♥

Bottom line of this review: Severus Snape is a creeper. You obviously don't like Snily that much--and I totally agree with you. Frollo and Snape should get together and have coffee sometime. Your writing is absolutely wonderful--and so, so dark in this story. Kudos to you for trying out a pairing that you hate, and for pulling it off so spectacularly!

~UnluckyStar57 ♥

Author's Response: Hey Mallory!

Aw, I'm so glad that you stopped by as this review was really wonderful and whoo for being disgusted by Snily as I am too :P

Hahah, I know what you mean because it was tiring enough to figure out how on earth could I explore some weird dark twisted love he had for her in 500 words, so I don't know how someone could write even more than that as it's so hard to not feel disgusted.

I'm glad you could see the similarities between Frollo and Snape because whilst reading the book it was quite disturbing the amount of similarities I could see between the two of them, the only difference being that everyone realises that Frollo is ew whereas with Snape some people really do think he loved Lily (which he didn't! :P). I'm so glad that you liked the exploration of his love for her as it was a ton of fun to write.

Bahaha, no, I don't think I've even written any poetry which wasn't for school but thank you so much, that means so much to me :D ♥ ♥

Yes, yes, yes, or even Creeper with a capital C as he probably deserves that, and I really think Frollo and Snape should get together as it would be so cool but twisted but cool.

Thank you for this amazing review! ♥

-Kiana


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