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Reading Reviews for notes on freefalling.
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krazyboutharryginny sunbeams

19th June 2016:
Hi! I'm here for the LGBTQA+ reviewing event!

This is a pairing I had most certainly never considered before, but I was completely sold on it about a quarter of the way in. You really took these two characters and made them your own, made them a little different than how I usually see them portrayed (while keeping Parvati very true to how we see her in the books) and made them characters that I grew very invested in very quickly. Also, I absolutely love Astoria's adoration of Scorpius. It was so... I can't think how to describe it besides "pure". So was her love for Parvati. I feel like "pure" is the word I would choose to describe this entire fic :)

Which brings me to my next point... The way that this story is written is so lovely and vivid and brilliant. There was so much beautiful description, and so many small details that were fit in so naturally and made the entire thing really "pop"! Off the top of my head, one of my favourite examples of this was Astoria ordering strawberry ice cream and picking out the chunks of fruit to give to Scorpius. Also, the emotions were so clear and powerful; you did a really fantastic job of showing them through both dialogue and description.

Basically: I absolutely loved this! Truly fantastic work. Adding to favourites now :)


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Review #2, by cherry_pop94 sunbeams

26th May 2015:
Hi there!

This was a beautiful story! The relationship that builds between Astoria and Parvati seems really natural and quite believable. I really enjoyed the way you characterized them both.

Using the present tense for this story really created a sense of immediacy for me that I felt quite fit with the tone of this story. The flashbacks to the girls' Hogwarts days were really well done as well.

In all, I thought this was a fantastic pairing and really creative as well. I loved how Parvati's flat has the flowers and yellow walls that Astoria dreamed of.

Thank you so much for sharing!


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Review #3, by randomwriter sunbeams

10th March 2015:
Hello Maia! Forgive me for taking so long with this. Also, thank you for the absolutely amazing review you left me! ^_^ That makes this delay so much worse!

It's funny how you read the Draco/Astoria and I basically picked its anti. It was always going to be this one though. I'm Indian, so seeing Parvati in fic makes me happy. Call is vested interest, maybe. :p

Anyhoo, I ship Draco/Astoria, and Parvati/Seamus on a subconscious level. BUT this fic made me forget all about that! I love how you wrote Parvati and Astoria together. Their relationship was so effortless and natural, and love should be that way. I like how they make each other laugh and lot and how they just seem to fit. It seems like Parvati understands Astoria in ways that Draco hasn't even tried, and that Astoria really needs the levity that Parvati sort of stands for over here. They really are so perfect for each other, and I'm so glad that things worked in their favour. I was rooting for them throughout, and I was worried in between that you'd break my poor heart.

I really enjoyed your characterisation of Parvati in this piece. You know that really long sentence about her and how she just is? Yes, that. It fits so well with JKR's sneak peaks into Parvati, and with my headcanon. I like that she's free and alive. Astoria really needs that. She sounds like she'd be a lot of fun to hang out with, and if Draco is as dull as you make him out to be here, she really needs the kind of freedom to pull her out of the surely approaching depression. In a way, Parvati saved her, you know? As for Astoria's characterisation, I will admit that it isn't my headcanon, but you've won me over here. I don't think any other version of her would fit quite as nicely, if I'm being honest. And her absolute devotion to Scorpius, and the very virtue of motherhood is really sweet to read about. It is literally the glue that holds her life together when Parvati isn't around to liberate her. I felt bad for her though. For a major part of the story, she was the one who was settling for the sake of other people, and I feel that it's unfair for people to live that way, which is why I was overjoyed that you ended this on a positive note.

Another thing I really liked was the tone of this piece. As I've mentioned, I like how it ended on an upbeat note, with things looking up for Astoria and Scorpius. It's nice to see them moving on with life, and I read and write so much angst anyway, that I think I really needed to read something feel-good, if you know what I mean. The flow of this really added to the effectiveness of the tone. It was really... floaty and dreamy in a way? It made their whole relationship so wonderful to read about though. It flows well, this story. I didn't have to stop to make sense of anything, really. It just went about rather naturally.

Your plot was really well thought out. I love how you include snippets from their school days. It sets their relationship up rather nicely, and I really like how there's already a foundation in place before they meet again in Diagon Alley. It's also nice to be able to track their relationship through these defining moments.

Your writing? I've mentioned this loads of times, and I really don't think I can do justice to your talents in words, really. Your work is beautiful, and somehow you always know to articulate, what to say to convey and deliver your story so well. You always pick the perfect words and phrases, and your writing is so beautifully descriptive. I love it! Your ability to take minor characters and weave such lovely stories about their lives and personalities makes me jealous, and leaves me in awe. Each time you write something, be in about Pince, Pomfrey or Astoria and Parvati, I always feel as though there cannot be any other way but for the one you've written. Clearly, your ability is beyond words.

Speaking of knowing just what to say, that bit about the windowsill garden and yellow walls was just perfect! I love how you tied the two bits together. It shows her journey and how far she's come, even if it is mainly in emotional terms. It shows how she manages to bridge the gap between her dreams and reality. It may be a small wish, but it is a desire none-the-less. And it's nice to see how it fell in place for her.

Another great story by you, Maia ♥ Thanks for swapping with me, and sorry about how long it has taken me to return the favour!

Author's Response: hi love! wow, this is such an incredible review - no worries at all about the wait, i often take longer myself tbh, and this is by far lovely enough to make up for it! ♥

honestly i've never thought about shipping Astoria with anyone but Draco before this, but i asked people for random pairing suggestions on the forums and this is what was suggested! i mostly headcanon things from a teenage-scorpius era so the only context i had considered Astoria in before this was as Scorpius's mother, Draco's wife, and even thought she's both those things here it was incredibly strange to try and feel her out as a character in her own right, if that makes sense. i don't think the astoria i've written here is really my headcanon for her, but it was certainly fun to explore this version! i'm really glad you liked it and that it not being your regular ship for these two didn't get in the way!

i had so much fun characterising Parvati here, especially through the lens of Astoria who is so besotted with her, and i'm really glad you think it fits with JKs version of her! my favourite thing to do (in case you haven't noticed lolol) is to take minor characters and delve deeper into their personalities, why they are the way they are, etc. in a way we know less about Parvati than we do about many of the other minor characters i've written about so I tried to keep as in-line with what little we know as i could. but i was certain there was more to her than in canon, which is what i really tried to explore here

oh wow you are WAY too kind about my writing ♥ ♥ ♥ honestly i've just had no other hobbies but writing for nearing ten years which is the only reason i think i've managed to develop any semblance of a writing style, but i still get massively nervous about people reading my stuff and compliments like this always make my week ♥ thank you so much

i am so glad you enjoyed this! thanks for the totally awesome swap, you're the best ♥


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Review #4, by True Author sunbeams

8th March 2015:
Hi there!

Whoa, this story was quite... foreign to me. Though I'm not against it or anything but I've never read an LGBTQA story before, so this was the first time I did it. But anyways, this was certainly a good piece of writing! :)

Hmm, I never really imagined Draco and Astoria having a perfect married life either. I always thought they would get divorced at some point or I thought their marriage was more like a compromise. So this story made sense to me.

I liked both Parvati and Astoria here. They're both unique, have their similarities and differences, and they were kind of cute together.

Oh and your writing was so nice! It was all warm and sunny ;) lol does that even make sense? Just know that I loved it!

Great job! Maybe I should start reading LGBTQA after all. :D


Author's Response: hi ashwini! wow, i can't believe you've never read an lgbtqa story before! the idea of THAT is so foreign to me, ahaha, i've been reading and writing them since i was like eleven! well i'm very happy to be your introduction to the genre ;)

i've honestly not thought much about astoria before i wrote this story. i often pictured her and draco in an unhappy marriage, probably an arranged marriage, but i usually figured they'd stay together in that old fashioned sort of way even though they weren't too happy. really i've only thought of her as a mother to teenage scorpius before this, so writing her so young and completely different to my usual picture of her was so much fun!

i'm glad you liked parvati and astoria together! i really don't think i can ship them with anyone else after writing this, haha.

thanks for the swap!


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Review #5, by TheTenthWeasley sunbeams

7th January 2015:
This sounds ridiculously creepy, but I was thinking about your lovely James/Lorcan story and thought I'd check out some more of your stuff.
Firstly I have to tell you my somewhat irrelevant love for this line: "I'm obsessed with tea, feminism, lesbians, and minor characters".
Now on to the actual story: again another lovely uplifting piece. Your inclusion of Lavender's scars, resulting change in attitude and Parvati's continued friendship with her was so great.
Your characterisation of Parvati was so enjoyable to read, especially her "perfectly proportioned" nose and Astoria's description of her (I won't copy and paste it all - you know the one that's a big long sentence): it fits well with Jo's canon and you expand it wonderfully into something so intriguing to read.
Brilliant :)

Author's Response: that does not sound creepy at ALL, i am very flattered!! thanks so much for the read and the review, darling *hugs*

hahaa, that's the simplest way to describe me, really, thought it was easiest to let everyone know upfront :P

i usually don't write such uplifting stuff so you've really sought out the fluff here! haha! i'm so glad you enjoyed it, though. I had so much fun figuring out how Parvati could develop from what little we know of her in the books, and how Astoria could come across too, and they merged so well in my head. I am really glad you thought so too!

thanks so much for reviewing

~Maia xx

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Review #6, by Your Secret Santa!!!! sunbeams

18th December 2014:
Hello Maia! It is your secret Santa here, coming with presents! I apologize for the fact that there are no contractions in this review. It seems to add a slash before the apostrophe when I do. Oh well.

So this is amazing and I am feeling really warm and happy inside right now. How do you write such amazing stuff? I would like to know your secret, please.

Everything about this is wonderful. The relationship between Astoria and Parvati is so cute! They have such great chemistry and their relationship progressed naturally. It did not feel contrived or forced at all. I was really happy when Astoria mustered the courage and kissed Parvati. *nudges my own special somebody*

I loved the imagery that you added about sunbeams and light. I know I myself think of light-filled places as happy, and darker places as not-so happy. The fact that the house Parvati owns is nice, yellow, and happy contrasts so well with Malfoy Manor.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoyed this chapter, and I would love for you to write a sequel! Please?

Your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: BEST SANTA EVER, thank you so much for this lovely review!

i am so, so glad you liked it! there is no secret to my writing, i promise, just a lot of time spent pondering lesbians :P

i had honestly never thought of this pairing before someone on the forums suggested it to me, but it was SO much fun to write! their characters really both came to me so naturally that i felt them falling for each other in my mind and it made it all so easy to write, so, fingers crossed, that's why it doesn't feel too forced! haha, really though, thank you so much for the lovely compliments.

the light imagery happened accidentally at first and then i just kind of ran with it so i'm really glad you think that worked!!

i am very tempted to write a sequel ngl ;) maybe a few years later, when Scorpius is five or six? or even later from his PoV at hogwarts... i'll see ;)

thank you very much lovely santa :P

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Review #7, by Moonyxluna sunbeams

25th October 2014:
Hey Maia!

When I heard Astoria/Parvati I had to check this out. It's been open on my tabs for like a week now (boo work).

God, the pretty girl always finds you at your worst moment, doesn't she? I love how you set the two up, creating the tiny bit of a feelings pedestal that Astoria puts Pavarti on. You really create some wonderful characterization for Astoria right in that first moment. Also, nice touch with the baby waking up as soon as she talks :p

Really little touch, but I love that you have Lavender standing tall after her war experience. In my own head (other than fiercely defending her) I always think of that as a moment in her life that really helped define herself. I loved seeing that play out here.

I love the theme in the second part how they're sort of getting back to normal. Astoria perfectly points out how petty it is to be bickering about little things now that they're back and trying to bring things to a 'normal'; when really school is going to be a bit like that, and that can be their normal. Still, cute little bonding with Parvati.

You set up some lovely contrasts between Astoria and Draco's failing marriage and the tensions between Parvati and her. You're definitely convincing me of this ship! Aww, and cute little jealousy/relief when Parvati talks about Lavender being married. I love the little relief she feels.

Even with the style of the story being in littler parts, I still wanted to shout 'finally!' when they got their act together.. the buildup was fantastic, and the emotion in when they're in bed together after was so beautifully written. You knew it all had to come out eventually, and I love how Parvati sort of instantly becomes her rock.

Let me just gush a little bit about the symbolism with the yellow walls before I run off! Very cute. This was all so lovely and you've definitely made a shipper out of me! Such a joy to read.


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Review #8, by Midnight spark sunbeams

23rd October 2014:
Review swap Maia! I'm just so happy that I get to read this again!

O this is the first slash I've EVER read, so feel free to feel proud. :P

I have honestly read a LOT of stories and studied their wirting styles, but you... your writing have this some sort of pull force that attracts people, I can't explain it, but it's sort of like gravitation, just awesome.

Again, I haven't read much Astoria and NO Parvati, and their characterisation just blew me away! How you portrayed Astoria's relationship with Draco, and her love for Scorpy was just... OMG. Makes me wanna squeal like a thirteen year old. What made me so sad was the fact that I've always seen Astoria and Draco to be like totally in love with each other and yet here, Astoria sleeps in Scorpy's room.

I loved the thing about Eighth Year! WOw, Astoria does not like Padma, but is attracted to Parvati, eh? Cool!

SQUEAL your comparisions to the sun and light and stuff like that! You made me totally change my mind about Slash, I'm sure I'll be reading them more often!


Author's Response: hiya! wow, I can't believe you never read slash before, I certainly do feel honoured to be your first :P

you are sooo sweet omg, i am so glad you like my writing ♥ honestly i just waffle about and add in all these weird details and i don't understand why people like it SO SERIOUSLY I LOVE YOU

i've never written astoria or parvati before, so this was a bit of a learning curve for me. i had never thought about either of them like this before, so i'm so so glad you think they both worked. like you say, i've only really seen Astoria characterisations which have her either madly in love with Draco or having a difficult relationship but still sticking it out with him, and it was fun to look at her through a different lens here

thanks for the review, as always you're just lovely ♥


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Review #9, by Chazzie sunbeams

14th October 2014:


Maia that is so gorgeous. I love you for writing this. I want Scorpius to get raised by Parvati and Astoria BECAUSE IT IS JUST SO DAMN CUTE. Astoria deserves someone who loves her, not an idiot who is so stuck in his pureblooded ways that he doesn't even care about his son. Parvati is so sweet and lovely and gah. Your descriptions and characterisations were spot on. You write such amazing stories. When one of your own fictions gets published I hope you tell me so I can buy it ;)

Incase that made no sense whatsoever, I really loved your story. Thank you for writing it.

Author's Response: AH oh my god you are way too sweet ♥ I love that you loved it! I am totally forcing myself not to write a sequel about them raising scorp together because it would be SO CUTE. i have never written astoria or parvati before and it was super fun so i'm so glad you liked them both and them together!

i have a couple of things published on amazon but they're both terrible ;) if i ever publish something properly i will be bragging all over the hills, don't worry! but i highly doubt that'll happen ;P

thank you so much for this amazingly sweet review! i really wish we could do emojis in review responses bc you make me all blushy-hearts-face


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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 sunbeams

14th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the October BvB Review Battle. :)

Okay, wow. This is certainly a pairing that I've never thought of before, but the way you write makes me ship it. I love the concept of the eighth year at Hogwarts and Astoria hating Padma but admiring Parvati--there must have been some reason that the twins weren't Sorted into the same House, and you really show just how different they are in this story.

I don't even mind that Drastoria is broken up (they're one of my minor OTPs, just because Dramione is so awful) because the way you breathe so much life and just... pure human emotion into these characters and their relationship is incredibly beautiful. The motif of light that surrounds Parvati is amazing--she is the light that Astoria seeks, a far cry from the darkness of Malfoy Manor. And Parvati is nourishing and warm--she gives Astoria and Scorpius exactly what Draco cannot, and that is beautiful.

So, what happened in between Parvati and Astoria's dinner and Astoria's arrival on the doorstep? Did she tell Draco to get lost? Did she leave quietly at night? Will there be repercussions? Those are questions that I'm curious to know the answer to, but they don't really matter in the long run. Astoria made her stand against tradition. She chose Parvati, and her life will be sunnier because of it.

And imagine in the DH epilogue, instead of Draco with Scorpius on the platform, we see Parvati and Astoria, encouraging him to try new things. That makes for a bright future, indeed. :D

Brilliant one-shot!


Author's Response: hiya! i had totally never thought about this pairing before but someone dared me to try it, so i did :P i'm really glad you think they worked together!

i wanted some way to connect them at Hogwarts but didn't want Astoria to be a Gryffindor, so having the Padma connection made sense to me, but I thought it would be fun to show how opposite Parvati and Padma are, ahaha. I agree, twins in separate houses must have a lot of differences and I don't imagine they'd get on so well because of those!

I was kinda worried about stepping on the toes of anyone who likes Draco or ships him with Astoria so i'm really glad you didn't mind them being broken up :P I'm far from a Draco hater but I knew I didn't want her to have a happy marriage in this story and it made sense to me that since they're young here he wouldn't be over the war and would still be stuck in pureblood ways that clashed with how Astoria wanted to live her life. I totally tried to juxtapose the still, cold, impersonality of the Malfoy family and manor with Parvati represented as air and light and warmth - i am so glad you picked up on that motif ♥

I think she left quietly while Draco was out, but I am sure that will be far from the end of it! In my mind I wanted to keep this canon, so I picture Draco still having kind of a relationship with Scorpius, but in a stilted, difficult and largely ornamental way. So he would still come to platform nine and three quarters to see Scorp onto the train, and maybe Scorpius would go over for awkward dinners at the manor every few months as a kid, and would have to spend Boxing Day there or whatever. And I think Draco would become a better father as he got older, and maybe even meet a girl he actually liked and who got him to open up as he got older, and give Scorpius a half sibling when he was 20 or something. But Scorpius definitely had a happy childhood with Astoria and Parvati and grew up as a little sunny hippie, and didn't resent Draco for any of it... I am going on a tangent here aren't I? XD

thanks so much for this lovely review! I'm so glad you liked it :D


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Review #11, by Aphoride sunbeams

14th October 2014:
Hi Maia! :) I just had to pounce on this one-shot when I saw you wanted a review swap, because I'm supposed to be revising for a French test and working on a presentation (or, you know, two *oops*) so the excuse was really, really welcome! :P

Plus, I always love your work, so it's such a treat to be able to drop by! :)

Okay, so I love the way you write Astoria - all of the emotions in this and her are just so beautifully written and feel so real, you know? It's so complicated, really, her situation, except that, in the end, it isn't, because she can be happy and she makes the decision that will make her happy. I loved how much she cared for Scorpius, though - because it really fuelled so much of this and her indecision and showed so much of her character - her selflessness, her insecurity, her hesitance, her love... yeah, it was just so good! :)

Parvati was amazing, too - I loved how this wasn't quite linear, going back in time to their eighth year - and how Parvati and Astoria sort of slowly became friends without really realising it. And I loved more than anything how Parvati waited for Astoria to work things out and make up her own mind about what she wanted to do - it was just such a sweet, beautiful moment, and it's not something you see often in ff or even of, characters who know and are so patient and understanding. I loved how you highlighted Parvati's friendship with Lavender (the little bit about Astoria wondering if they were more than friends made me laugh, because, honestly, I did wonder for a bit in this, too!), and her with her sister Padma.

(I do wonder, you know, if Padma ever finds out she essentially brought them together :P)

All the little themes in this were so good - the light colours, particularly the yellow, and the references to flowers and strawberries and things... I dunno, but coupled with the coldness of Malfoy Manor and everything it made me think that living with Draco was sort of like being in winter, and then Parvati was spring and everything - like a new year, new start kinda thing? I don't know if it was intentional, but I loved it all the same! :)

There is golden light inside of her and its hot like the sun and it fills her from head to toe, every inch of her, every tiny part, she is filled up with Parvati and it is dizzy and warm and bright.

^this line was so beautiful, too - with the sun motif and theme and everything... and it was just such a beautiful description of a first kiss, too! Well, not first, but first kiss as a couple. Ah, you know what I mean! :P But no, it's so gorgeous!

All your details in this were so amazing, too - the description of Parvati's lip stud, the baby stains on Astoria's clothes, and so on... you are so so good at including things like that and making your story practically breathe. I'm almost jealous right now :P Tell me your secrets!

Your writing, as always, is gorgeous. You know I love how you write - the way everything is just so beautifully pulled together, every word fits so well, and I read through 6000 words without ever once thinking it was that long. Pretty sure I could read any length writing of yours and not notice the length... you just always suck me into the story and it's so amazing.

So yes. I love this, I love your writing, you're amazing. But you knew that already ;) Or should do, if you don't. Totally recommending this on the forums is no one else has yet... :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: your reviews are always the best omg just &hearts &hearts but go work on your presentations silly! :P

e i'm so glad you liked astoria! i've never written her or even really read her before so I went into this with no idea how i was gonna play it, and i just tried to let her write herself in a way, so i don't actually think i had any say in how she turned out! raw emotion was really what i was going for with her so i'm really happy you liked it! :D

parvati is another character i've hardly read and never written, so it was fun interpreting her too! we really have hardly anything to work on with her from canon, even though she's around quite a lot, so i just tried to make her into someone who would work with astoria. i decided astoria needed that quiet no-pressure gentle kind of happiness so i made parvati into that person :D

ooh i'm glad you picked up on the light and flowers themes! i usually have a stronger theme running through my fics than i did here (winter in 'winter cry', butterflies 'butterfly heart', etc) so i felt a little aimless while writing it at first, but then i tried to work with all these sun-related motifs for parvati and i'm pretty happy with how it turned out! she totally contrasts the coldness of the manor and the Malfoys, and she's kind of the sun that allows Astoria to blossom #cheesy

ahhh i'm glad you liked that line :D i'm really bad at writing romantic scenes and kiss scenes so i wrote that all stream of consciousness and didn't edit it, ahaha. so glad you think it worked!

i am so glad you liked this so much hun :D thank you so much for this amazing review! you always make my day ♥


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Review #12, by crestwood sunbeams

14th October 2014:
Hi Maia,

I feel like you must have a distinct writing style because I can kind of *feel* it, but somehow I can't pinpoint what it is that gives your work such a unmistakable quality. If you'll excuse the metaphor, I feel like I write with these super heavy brush strokes and you just ever so lightly graze the surface effortlessly. Basically, you make this seem really really easy. You are one of the best writers here.

Astoria is characterized as I've never seen her before - and I've seen her written a number of different ways. Parvati doesn't get written much and you've turned her into someone I care about as well.

Astoria sleeping in Scorpius' room rather than with Draco is kind of sad. They very clearly do not care much for each other and I wanted her to leave from the very beginning. Luckily, that leaves us having exactly zero positive feelings about her and Draco's relationship, so that nothing takes away from the beautiful chemistry between Astoria and Parvati.

It's kind of shocking that Astoria literally does not get any time away from Scorpius at all. I can understand being a diligent mother, but that's got to be a little tough. At least, I wouldn't respond well to having no free time at all whatsoever. She doesn't really seem bothered though and that only makes me admire her even more. You've shown motherhood in a light that it is rarely shown, but it feel very realistic.

Parvati's reaction to Astoria kissing her!!!

AH I'm going to imagine that these two stay together forever and raise Scorpius and he turns out to be a kind, thoughtful person away from the influence of his aloof father and creepy grandparents. Aw, this was so sweet and everything was just excellent about this. Really amazing job with this!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad you think I have a style ♥ I always worry my writing is so messy and un-understandable (there has to be a better word for that...) so if I'm tricking people into thinking it's a style, let alone a GOOD style, i'm happy with that ;) there are so many amazing writers on this site so I'm kinda freaking out about you saying that omg ♥

I've not read much about Astoria or Parvati so it was so interesting deciding how to characterise them! In the end I didn't really make any decisions about any of it - I just let them play out however they wanted to , hahaha! So I'm so glad they turned out well.

I was trying to toe the line here because I didn't want to Draco-bash, since I know a lot of people love him, but I also didn't want Astoria to have a happy marriage. I wanted to show they are just the wrong people for each other and their relationship definitely isn't positive, like you say, so the focus is just on her and Parvati. If I'd had longer I would have gone into her relationship with Draco way more but I wanted to make this a short oneshot! ahaha, this is short for me ;)

In my mind Astoria is quite simple in terms of happiness - she needs one constant good thing in her life for her to be happy, and then she can put up with anything. Scorpius is that good thing (though Parvati creeps in later) so she doesn't mind doing everything for him. I am glad it seemed realistic for her to mother that way!

I am so bad at kiss scenes so I'm so glad you liked that bit!

Haha, I am having a lot of fun imagining Scorpius growing up in this household tbh! I'm really glad you liked the story aww ♥ thanks for the inspiring challenge!


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Review #13, by The_Crookshanks_Saga sunbeams

14th October 2014:
Review swap (if you choose to accept it)

Hi Maia! This is the second time writing this review because the first time I was flailing and I hit the "close tab" button so yep. Anyways.

How could you do this to me?!?! My whole schools staring as I snivel into my sleeve. You can really write, man. Like, fo realz.

With your writing style (soft, simplistic, giving everything and nothing away) it is imperative to include many minute details in order to give the characters a, well, character. Something which you ALWAYS manage to do. Now, instead of Astoria being aristocratic and haughty, I'll forever imagine her in a yellow flowered frock in the yellow kitchen with Baby Scorpius strapped to her back.

I love you portrayed a mother's love in this, something which many get wrong to the point of cheeseballs. You made it sound soft and loving, but powerful and potent at the same, time, explaining that he was her light and the only light in her dark world (until Parvs, hem hem).

And with this amazing, beautiful couple, you are definitely going to win the challenge. Parvati fits for Astoria so perfectly, they love each other so much- God, I love the characterization- and I just don't know what to do.

Enough of this blubbering. I love. Keep writing.


Author's Response: i definitely do choose to accept it!

oh no, i'm always accidentlly deleting things like reviews, it's the worst!

omg, thanks! sorry i made you snivel, but, y'know, glad i could? ahaha

you're way too sweet omg. i like telling characters by little details, and i didn't really have an idea of how I was gonna write Astoria when I started this so I kinda let her come to me through those details - in that first passage I wrote she was wearing a flowered dress and I was like, 'hey, i guess i'll go with the floral thing', ahaaha. But I'm so glad you think they worked for her character!! since we know nothing about her she really was a lovely blank slate to play with.

Admittedly I don't have kids but I'm very baby crazy so I love writing about that mothering connection in my fics. I am really glad you think I pulled it off with Astoria! I think she's quite a simple soul really so it wasn't hard for her, when Scorp was born, to just give up everything else, because she was happy to just be his mother. She's not exactly single minded, but she is in the sense that she only really needs one purpose to be happy. Until Parv, that is! ahaha

Ahh, no, there's so many amazing entries for this challenge! I'm sure I won't win but I'm so glad I managed to make you ship this pair, ahaha ♥

Thanks so much for the gorgeous review!


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Review #14, by Infinityx sunbeams

13th October 2014:
Maia, this was just overwhelmingly sweet and I just love it when people find happiness with each other. A family that loves you is what matters and I'm sure Scorpius would be happier in his new home. I love your style of writing, and I don't think I've seen anyone use run-on sentences more effectively. It's kind of like your thing. :D My favourite part was Parvati's reaction when Astoria finally kissed her. Everything seemed so casual and real, and all of Astoria's feelings were written really well. Loved this.

Author's Response: aw thanks ♥ i don't write love stories much but when i do i like to write the kind where everything is just natural and real and happy and soft, which i think (hopefully!) came across well in this one :) I kinda wanna write about Scorpius growing up in this verse because I think he'd be so happy!

hahahaha run on sentences are definitely my style ;) i used to fight against it but now i'm just going with it, hahaa. it's because i write stream of consciousness and i guess my thoughts don't take breaths :P

i'm so glad you liked it ♥ thanks for reviewing!!


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Review #15, by CambAngst sunbeams

13th October 2014:

I loved the slow, easy way you paced this chapter. Stories like this usually have a lot of plot tension accompanying the romantic tension. Instead, you left all that aside and focused on the important things. Astoria and Parvati gradually found their way to one another without rushing or seeming silly in the process. The whole thing had a realistic, organic feel to it. To me, it didn't feel like you were leading the characters together, rather you set a series of events in motion and let them play out.

Your writing was magnificent. I loved the descriptions and the little details that made everything vivid and real. I especially liked the fact that you didn't shy away from Scorpius and the nitty-gritty details of taking care of a baby.

Excellent job.

Author's Response: Hiya! Aww I'm glad you liked it!

I'm kinda terrible at plot and I like to write character-focused pieces so I'm really glad you think it worked here :D I was trying to create a very soft and dreamy atmosphere inside Astoria's mind and therefore in the story, so I tried to leave out as much detail as possible, and to let it all develop naturally and slowly and organically. i'm so glad you picked up on that! i try to never tell my characters what to do - i let them tell me, haha.

thanks so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #16, by Roisin sunbeams

13th October 2014:

I still owe you prizey reviews, and I super wanted to check this out. I *loved* the direction you went in with Astoria. And the voice throughout was excellent, and gave a wonderful sense of her. It was a delighful story, and written in such a fresh, breezy, seemingly effortless way (but still showed a lot of mastery).

And also this is just the actual sweetest thing ever. Like, this is the nicest possible way for Scorpius to grow up. I mean, Parvati works at an icecream parlor! /Literally/ sweet!

I also really love how much detail and accuracy you gave to motherhood. The baby managed to be a real character, albeit a tiny one, rather than a prop. I also liked the statement there, since there's still this attitude in society that female sexual agency threatens The Family. Because what she had before Parvati really wasn't much of a family. Sure, they may have been biologically related to Scorpius, but they were really just people who lived in the same house.

Just throughout, the details were really awesome. It was a really engrossing read, and I immediately got caught up in it as such a delightful story.

Author's Response: hiya! awww i'm really glad you liked this!

i've never really written a character like a wrote Astoria here, and it wasn't really a conscious choice, just sorta how she came out, so I'm really glad you think it worked!

i know i wanna write so many sequels about Scorpius growing up with the two of them. living on ice cream and stuff idk, it would be adorable XD

i hate stories which either glamorise or demonise motherhood, and i always try to make it seem as realistic as possible as my stories (i'm slightly baby obsessed. *coughs* nbd tho) and it was a lot of fun writing sweet mummy Astoria here.

I'm really glad you liked it! i wasn't as confident posting this as I usually am with my stories because I wrote it in a rush so it means a lot you thought it was good :D


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Review #17, by Ravenclaw333 sunbeams

13th October 2014:
oh no this was beautiful and i ship this so much and how are you so AMAZING at writing and this was so sweet and perfect thank you for writing this ah

Author's Response: ah thank you hun i'm glad you liked it! it was such a change for me to write something sweet, it was hard ;)

~Maia ♥

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