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Reading Reviews for Plum Velvet
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ImaRavenclaw Blue Leather

20th July 2016:
Hello, Lily here with review tag!

I'm so happy I chose this story (I was debating between this and another one), but this one is so poetic, and it flows beautifully, I might have to read it a few more times just to see the meanings hidden in words and witty phrases. This was actually pretty mind blowing, you're an incredible writer!

It's great that you were trying something new with this (at least I think you were). I didn't really see the horror and darkness of it though, I'm lost with that. No wait I see it (went back a little).

I see no grammar errors/punctuation/wrong spelling, and this review is so short because I have no words.

I think I'm gonna go check out more of your work now...

Sincerely, ImaRavenclaw

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Review #2, by Eros Blue Leather

13th February 2016:
I truly appreciate being referenced in this elegant piece. I agree Albus is me incarnate. You betray Albus' desire for Hyperion in such a wondrous way. I am fond of people consumed with desire, and I was pulling for Albus the entire time.
I must tell the gods and goddesses referenced about this one-shot. Unfortunately, I will have to tell them to not let the other gods and goddesses know about this one-shot since not being referenced in a fanfiction has the potential to spark a war among us.

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Review #3, by pottered  Blue Leather

4th August 2015:
ohmygoddd
ok ive probably said this countless times before, but im so, so in love with your writing. i adore your writing.
like, anything you write, I'll love it, im telling you
omg i really didn't expect the ending. and hyperion, yes!! i love the name too. it sounds so like the character you've written.
albus turning out to be a vampire?? omg, i really, really didn't expect that. but that was sooo good!!! i usually feel a bit uncomfortable at vampire fics, but your writing made this so /glorious/
i loved this so so much, like honestly so so very much.

P.S. can I just say whenever I need inspiration, i read your stories.

Author's Response: Hey there - thank you so so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much - I'm so so glad you like it, and my writing in general. I know I tend to have a particular style and it can be weird for some people, so it means so much to hear that you like it! :)

Yeah, I loved writing the ending - it was so much fun to do, all the lead-up and then the twist :P Hyperion - I'm so glad you liked it - it just felt so right given the meaning and everything, and the whole theme of light running throughout it... :)

Yeah, vampire fics aren't everyone's thing (though I actually used to write vampire OF, haha, a long time ago!), but I felt it was right for this? Like, it seemed to work and give this the extra kinda pop I thought it needed. It seemed a bit flat without it... so I'm so glad you liked it, especially so if it isn't your usual cup of tea! :)

Thank you so so much - I'm so amazingly flattered by everything you've said, I really am pretty floored by it all, and I'm just so glad you like what I write! Thank you so so much for the review and all the compliments - it really made my day! :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by marauder lady Blue Leather

26th April 2015:
Wow!! Truely a beautiful piece of writing! I love Greek Mythology (although my knowledge is fairly limited...) so I was hooked when you opened with it! And I also thought that he had a Dorian Grey quality before you mentioned it.
I also loved the way you used darkness and light throughout, it gave the story such an other-worldly quality (if that makes sense!) I loved every word!! Gorgeous!

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked it! I'm a huge Greek mythology fan (and nerd, haha), so writing this was so much fun, squeezing in all the references and so on :P Yeah, can you tell I'd just finishd re-reading it when I wrote this? :P The whole immortal sense kinda suited him, though, all things considered.

Yeah, darkness and light was a theme I'd wanted to use for a while, especially in romance, because it's kinda overdone but also very classical, I think, so I'm so glad you liked it in this! I really loved writing this, so it means so much! :)

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #5, by TreacleTart Blue Leather

3rd March 2015:
Hello there,

I'm here for our review swap!

Wow. Let me just stop and gush for a minute about the way you describe things. It's like reading poetry. Your words flow in such a beautiful way creating almost surreal images in my mind.

The character you've created for Albus is interesting. At the beginning of the story, I was going to comment about his speech sounding a bit old for him, but once I reached the ending it made much more sense. Of course he sounds older because he is older.

I loved how you ended the story. I had a feeling that there was going to be a twist in there somewhere, but I was surprised when I found out what that twist was. I really hadn't expected that specific scenario.

I did notice two small typos, but this is just me nitpicking.

You wrote "about something Ė and then he will remark me." I was thinking this was supposed to say "and then he will remake me", but if not pay me no mind.

Also, you wrote "who hold have determination for shields and love for lances." I think you should take the have out of this sentence..so it should read " who hold determination for shields"

I did notice that you really seem to love your Greek mythology. The last story of yours that I read was the one where you compared Snape to Icharus. Perhaps that's just coincidence. Either way, it works quite well for you.

Another good read! Thanks for swapping with me!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey there, Kaitlin! Thank you so much for stopping by and for the review swap! :)

Thank you so much! I really, really loved writing this story - the whole setting of it is just something I love writing so much, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Yeah, the style and voice of this is evidence of my recent spate of Oscar Wilde obsession :P It's all very Dorian Grey-inspired in that sense, but then it did fit reasonably well in the end - I completely understand the thought, though, it was something I was nervous about at the beginning, too! ;)

I love putting twists in everywhere, haha :P But yeah, it was for Maia, really - she has this gorgeous vampire story on her page which I love, so I wanted to reference it in a way.

Ooh typos! No, no, don't worry - I'm terrible with typos! They always creep in everywhere with me... ah, the first one is meant to be remark me, but no worries about it ;) The second one... oops, thank you so much for pointing that out! I'll edit it out asap! :)

Yeah, I really do, haha. It was sort of a phase-type thing for me, lol. I just couldn't resist it - they make for such good references! :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely swap, and I'm so glad you liked this! :)

Aph xx


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Review #6, by HEG Blue Leather

8th December 2014:
Hey there!

Ok, let's begin.

Characters: well we obviously have the narrator of the story which is Albus and we have Hyperion whom Albus loves. You definitely made out that Albus was "head over heels" for Hyperion. I like the idea of Hyperion being the source of inspiration for his works - he seems like quite an impressive figure if I believe how Albus has described him. It seems quite a lot like "love at first sight" because in the beginning, Hyperion is described as a "stranger" which sort of gives you a hint that they won't get together, we will only hear fantasies and speculations from Albus. I was glad when I found out that I was wrong! The description about Hyperion's name was beautiful - simply amazing! You have a gift with writing, I'm telling you know. The simple dialogue from both characters also gives you more clues about their personality, but you have remembered not to go overload with the speech (which is what I do sometimes :P) and made it tiresome. So overall, great work with the characters!

Spelling and grammar: I really hate it when someone uses terrible grammar in a story - or when I re-read my own stories and find lots of grammar mistakes! I was glad that there wasn't any in this. Good job.

Emotions: you have beautifully grasped all sorts of emotions in this one shot. If emotions were colours, your story would be amazingly colourful. A lot of the time, people try to maybe let a character die in a story to force an emotion of sadness. It doesn't work. You have to craft a story so that it feels like you can see everything happening - so you can put yourself in the narrator's boots. That's definitely what you have done. I love the part where you tell us that he still glowed even in the dark. Without saying it, you have implied that Albus thinks Hyperion is perfect. I also love how this isn't any ordinary, soppy Dramione, but a proper, original one shot, written differently to all the cliches.

Overall comments: amazingly crafted one shot - one of the best that I've read on hpff. If I could give a tip, I'd say maybe include one or two more lines of speech from Hyperion, as he hasn't talked throughout the whole one shot. This is only my opinion though, don't take it the wrong way :)

Missy :D

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Review #7, by BitterSweetFlames Blue Leather

19th November 2014:
Hi Laura. Carla here for the Claw BvB battle. :D

-sigh-
I was sighing throughout this entire fic because it was just so WOW. You write so beautifully. I am at a loss for words, I am speechless -- much like Albus was when he was beside Hyperion.

Your use of light all throughout the story was powerful - beacon, moonlight, stars as jealous fiends, beam of sunlight. It serves to reinforce how Albus sees Hyperion -- as a total opposite to the dark that is his constant, his world. And you can understand the allure. How could Albus stay away? He can't. At least not with the way you've written him.

When you had Hyperion owl him and not give his name that was nothing short of utterly brilliant. I mean, Albus is already drawn so much to him. That only makes him more of a mystery. You've drawn in Albus and you draw in your reader too.

Also, your use of mythology in this was perfect - so spot on. You mention couples in mythology and you also mention his parents in the same thought. It's sweet and speaks warmly to what sort of person Albus is.

Then, you talk about Albus and Severus. What part of my heart you hadn't already captivated by then (very small, to be perfect honest) just fell. My heart broke for Albus. When you think about it, it was so very hard to be named after two such men. They were brave and wonderful men to be sure but there is weight in just their names alone, I can't imagine how Albus might have felt having two such first names attached to an already hefty last name.
Of course you add in the fact that he wants to add to their legacy and be happy for them. And that's so human and speaks to the man that Albus must have been.

THEN THE ENDING. What emotion I hadn't already felt in the reading of your story just spurt out and splattered all over because, HELLO. I did not expect that Albus would be a vampire. I mean there were certainly hints of something otherworldly but I did not expect to be of Albus. He sounds so human and, BAM, you throw this as at us. OH DEAR GOD. I must breathe.

Ok, sorry. You are such a fabulous writer, Laura. It was an absolute joy to read what you wrote. Thanks for sharing.

"And I really should include less references in my next story"
- No! They're beautiful. Where in your head do you get these references? Your sentences are works of art, I swear.

--Carla

P.S. I said Albus in my review so many times. Such a fun name to type and say. HAHA.

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Review #8, by crestwood Blue Leather

31st October 2014:
Laura, I honestly have no clue how you write like this. You form sentences that I couldn't even dream of. The way this flows is elegant in a way. Every word has a place and a purpose. If someone ever asks me what the meaning of diction is, I could probably just send them a link to this story.

I feel the pure obsession of the narrator. His muse comes back to him at the first site of this man, in a literal sense. I can almost see through his eyes. I could practically be right there next to him on this very British day, watching this living Renaissance painting. Your descriptions make me very jealous. Very, very jealous indeed. I want to place people inside of my stories like you do. Everything you write is such a work of art.

The atmosphere of this is just equally eerie and romantic. I feel this love. This all encompassing love he feels. But, then there's this unnerving tone to everything he says. The way he describes things. His point of view looking at the world. I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but I knew there was something different about this narrator.

I love the name Hyperion in this story. It fits so perfectly with the tone. The paragraph in which his name lingers is just absolutely perfect. Your work always provokes me to wax poetic for hours after I read it. I'm not nearly as good at it as you are, I'm afraid. This makes me want to just tell people about it. I feel everyone could learn something, maybe. I'm not sure what quality it is that your writing has, but it is something that I always feel. I feel your writing deeply. Always.

The end took me absolutely off guard. I was surprised that the narrator was Albus. I thought that was the twist here. I was thinking, 'wow good job, I didn't even question who I was reading the thoughts of and I was actually a little taken aback to realize that I hadn't.' And then - I found out what was so obvious from the start. I don't have any clue why I didn't realize that Albus was a vampire, I honestly don't. There were clues and I actually saw them and thought about them, but vampire never even crossed my mind. That was one of the best twists I've ever read and at the same time such a romantic scene. I am absolutely blown away by the language, but the plot, by the characters and by you. This all came together so spectacularly. Thank you so much for joining my challenge.

Author's Response: Hey Joey! :) Thank you so much for stopping by - and I'm so sorry for the super late response (hides). It's really, really terrible I know, I'm sorry... I'm so bad at these...

Anyway, thank you so so much! :) Wah, I don't know what to say! I find I often write really slowly, tbh, and it's not because I'm thinking as such but I'm looking for the right way to phrase something and I know it's there somewhere I just haven't found it yet, if that makes sense?

(And is it bad that I don't even know what diction is, really, either? :P)

I really, really like writing romance with some kind of twist to the feelings - like angst or obsession - because I think it makes it that little bit more real, you know? (And I may have read Dorian Grey just before writing this, hence parts of the narrator are a bit Dorian-esque... :P)

Thank you! :D I'm so glad it's a bit eerie - I was really worried that wouldn't have come through well, since there is the romance sort of over the top and definitely far more obvious. I'm also just so happy you liked this version of Albus; I'm not sure if I'll ever write him again, but I'm glad you liked him - he was so much fun to write! :)

Hyperion... fun story: this was originally meant to be an Albus/Scorpius, which is kinda where the 'Hyperion' originally comes from (as Scorpius' middle name), but it fitted the litany and the light/dark theme I wanted far better so I changed it and he became Hyperion instead :P Gah, thank you! I always think I have a tendency to be kinda pretentious in writing, haha, so hearing people say things like that is always just so lovely :)

Thank you so so much! :D :D I'm so glad it took you off guard :P I really didn't want to reveal names too much - I just wrote the first section without using names without really thinking - and so it sort of carried on and then with the twist, it kinda became just another thing to reveal. I liked the revealing it through dialogue, too, rather than in the text :) There are clues! There are also red herrings :P But yeah, I loved writing those in and having him be a vampire at the end - since this was written for Maia and she's written some amazing vampire stories, it was kinda a way to reference back to that :)

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was such a great thing to get! :) And thank you so much for the compliments and the challenge too - I loved participating in it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #9, by teh tarik Blue Leather

30th October 2014:
aslkdjls holy wow Laura, what an amazing one-shot. ♥ I don't even know how to review this - pretty much loved every part of it: the gorgeous imagery, the wealth of mythological references (which were so fitting for this story!), the vampire stuff, and the dark, intriguing passion between the characters. And yes, DEFINITELY the ship!! Albus/Hyperion!!! Never have I heard of such a glorious ship, and I am already onboard.

Albus's character is absolutely fascinating; I can't emphasise enough how much I love how you've written him. I'm glad you don't directly reveal him to be a vampire until later on; the ambiguity adds so much to his characterisation. Albus is so intriguing, very fixated on Hyperion, and his voice coupled with your use of language is so wonderfully ornate, and very fitting for a vampire who's lived a long time, and spent much of his time reading. (Also, the mythological references really work here; Albus must have read a lot, and idolised so many of these iconic mythic figures). But I also love the little contrasts in his highly elaborate and stylised voice: the references to his parents,especially that brief moment when he mentions having conversations with dad on the steps of their house during sunrise. I love these little human touches. He's not the cold, distant vampire who only imitates humanity but is never truly human. Albus is still Albus, still very human and full of human contemplation. I really loved that part where he pondered over his namesakes: Albus and Severus, and thought about their tragic love lives.


And Hyperion! I love how you've written Hyperion through Albus's eyes. Clearly, Hyperion is idolised and adored, and every time you describe him, the imagery you use is absolutely stunning. I can't pick out my favourite lines - there are just too many instances of lovely language. I really loved all the references and images to light - moonlight, sunlight, starlight, candles, and the light that seems to shine from Hyperion himself. It's a very neat inversion that Hyperion the human is haloed in all this beauty and grandeur, while Albus the vampire is initially struck dumb and unable to say anything coherent (which is SUCH a human reaction :P ). That's another thing I love about the relationship between the two: how you've inverted elements of the vampire/human relationship.

The ending scene gave me the chills. :P It was beautifully written, and the whole process of turning one into a vampire was detailed and chilling and dark and beautiful in a twisted kind of way. And I love, love that you ended on that note, with Albus awaiting Hyperion's awakening. It's such a striking image with Hyperion lying there crowned in roses and lilies.

Gah, your writing is absolutely beautiful!! The more I read your work, the more I love your style and the way you write these passionate thrilling romances and your mysterious and enigmatic characters. This was wonderful to read, Laura!! I'm so, so glad we were paired up this month! ♥

-teh

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Review #10, by lindslo2012 Blue Leather

15th October 2014:
Hey there,
here from the review tag! :)
So I had started to read this and then started reading it again. This story was so INTENSE. LIKE WOW!
This guy is obsessed with Hyperion, and he wants him very badly.
I was completely thrown back by how much amazing description and mythology mentions you did in this one chapter. Wow.
A person's basic whole life story in 4000+ words. Amazing! :) To be honest with you I do not have any cc, this was just inspiring and amazing. You are a very talented writer and I wish I had that much imagery in my brain to be able to write like that.
I honestly had no idea at first that Albus was a vampire. I was being oblivious to all the clues in there, but once I looked back I saw all of them and how cool is that? His obsession, his clothes, the marks, he loves the man and he wants him for himself.
I am little confused by the end, he just turned Hyperion into a vampire right? Did I read that right? Or did he kill him?
Either way, huge applause to you for this amazing piece. I loved it.
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! Yeah, it's a very obsessive thing, not wholly true, in a way, and it's a bit twisted. But fun to write :P

Haha, yeah, sorry about all the mythology :P I just couldn't resist - and it felt right with the characters, especially Albus' personality. I'm so glad you liked the description - I loved writing it; it's all the kind of things I love to write about :)

Thank you so so much! It's not quite a whole life story, but it's a whole love, I think - the length of a relationship, in a way (though since you've read the end, you know this isn't quite true :P).

Haha, yeah, I tried not to make it obvious - I loved the idea of twisting the sense around, making it seem like Hyperion was the vampire, rather than Albus. But yes, there are some clues about Albus in there, rather than Hyperion, if you look for them ;)

Yeah, he just turned him into a vampire - a rather literal interpretation of 'forever', haha.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, and the lovely compliments! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #11, by Moonyxluna Blue Leather

5th October 2014:
Hi I'm here with your review! And yes I would love to read a Scorpius/Albus :D (or kinda Scorpius/Albus? We'll see!)

Right away we establish some - beautifully written - feelings. I'm sort of already in awe at how you string together sentences to make things flow so smoothly.

You did mention commas in your request and I usually end up pointing them out anyway(though I end up being the worst offender sometimes). You are heavy with them here, but I think with the style that you're writing in/the style of the story that some of the ones that I'd normally harp on about work. For example:
It is night, and I am there, again, at the park, notebook on my lap and quill in hand -- I'd normally be saying to get rid of the one after night, after there, and so forth, where I'd want more natural pauses. I think it's really up to your choice with the style of the story what you'd like to do with them.

In your request you mentioned characterization. Right away we get these beautiful, (I feel like I'm going to end up saying beautiful a lot so pretend I use amazing synonyms all through here) strong feelings from Albus towards this mystery man - Hyperion - and how he seems to almost find his muse again after seeing him. It's a lovely thought to be so enthralled by another human.

Such a sweet little touch, adding in how Albus would be thinking James would mock him for being cowardly, and how it almost pushes him to make the first step. Really gives him that little brother feeling about Albus' character that we know of and love. I feel like the phrase the slow, coy smile says so much about Hyperion's characterization in one little spot, I loved that line. As if he's known Albus' feelings and he's got them too.

... hallways until something catches me eye and I read.. -- should say 'my' if/when you edit.

Even through the stylistic writing I still grasp the anxious feeling that Albus has waiting for the letter, and am buzzing along with him to see what's going to happen when he hears word from Scorpius.

That's the most beautiful description of bite marks I've read in my entire life :D. So we've got some strong development of feelings here. It's a lovely telling of how love can creep up on you fast and hard, and when you know you should be scared of the feelings the only thing you do is get yourself in deeper. You had mentioned development of feelings in your request and I think you've got a wonderful telling of a young, fast, hard, and tragic love here that you should be insanely proud of.

It's an interesting plot point - I'm being the over-thinking reader and watching the horror/dark tag on this and getting all nervous. And then with the moment where Albus sort of bares his soul and he promises... I guess I'd better read on!

That ending. Wait wait wait.. so. Okay processing. (reviewing as I go has its flaws in this department)

Is he a vampire? I'm stuck here in a little bit of awe. What a wonderful twist ending. They really will be together forever if he's turned him into a vamp.

And at the end. This story progressed beautifully. We see the whole time that Albus is so enthralled with Hyperion and in the end Hyperion is just enough back that he puts his trust in, enough that he lets this happen. He does struggle so I'm wondering what's going to happen (obviously left to the reader's own mind being a one-shot) when he wakes up to figure things out.

I didn't end up being very helpful to you, but I hope if anything my praise reassures you that this is a beautiful piece that you should be proud of! Brilliant work, thanks for requesting it!

Julie

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Review #12, by Gabriella Hunter Blue Leather

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I am here like the speed of light! I devoured this in about five or ten minutes without stopping and I have to say, it was pretty darn excellent. With awesome sauce.

I'm not sure if I'll even be able to gush about how much I loved this and touch on everything that I enjoyed without squealing. What I really found intriguing about this was that you gave absolutely no hint at all who your two main characters were. I wasn't able to make a clear guess and for a while, I was certain that Albus was a girl but as I kept reading, that thought kind of faded away. I'll be honest though, I don't really read much Slash but this was so good that I'd come back a thousand times over.

I think that the style you chose to write this story in just speak volumes. There's something both beautiful and frightening about Albus's observations, his thoughts are twisting and turning with wonderful things. I found that to be really great to read and his growing fascination for Hyperion were really well-written.

I don't think that I would have been able to make it through this in one piece. Even while I read though, I wasn't able to completely put the pieces together until part way through and it was such a nice twist. I wasn't expecting this to turn into a dark vampire tale but it really was engrossing! I do wonder though, if a lot of people would give it all up to be with the one they love forever. There were a few minutes of doubt here and there between them but I think the final result is that eternity is nothing without the person you love the most. :D

I really, really enjoyed this and I wish I could gush about it properly but I don't really have the room to go on forever and ever. Hahahah.

If you ever make this into a full novel or short story, I'm totally going to read it!

Thanks so much for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there, Gabbie! :) So great to see you here again - I always love swapping with you! Every swap is always so good!

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked this - I was so nervous about it; Gift It stories always make me so utterly petrified of things, you know? Coz it's for someone... it means something more than normal stories... :P

Thank you so much again! I really loved not giving things away at the beginning, I really wanted to keep it a bit of secret, just to introduce more the themes of things, rather than focus too much on the people themselves, you know? It's always great to hear things like that - I love testing boundaries - my own and others - and I'm so glad you like this even if it isn't your normal sort of thing! :D :D

I loved writing this - with the whole obsessive element, and it all sort of came from the whole link to his namesakes - with Snape's obsessive love with Lily, you know? The style was a bit sort of coming from other stories - especially my Albus/Gellert - I've been writing at the moment. For some reason, I found it really hard to switch it off, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Haha, thank you? :P I'm so happy you liked the twist - it was the idea from the beginning, though I really wanted to make it as unclear as possible, and to trick readers, so I'm so glad that worked, at least! :) Yeah, it is an interesting question, and I kinda wanted the idea that Albus doesn't want to and almost can't, in a way (certainly believes he can't), live without Hyperion, all because of love. And yeah, I definitely agree - it would be very lonely, I think! :)

No worries about that - this review was lovely as it is anyway! If you'd gushed on forever, I'm not sure how I'd have ever managed to reply! :P

Haha, I'm not sure about that one - I have quite a few WIPs at the moment, I don't think I could do another one, sorry! :( (Though maybe a linked one-shot? I dunno... you're giving me ideas now!)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was amazing, as it always is with you - and I loved it! Thank you so much for the review, too - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #13, by milominderbinder Blue Leather

26th September 2014:
oh my god, Laura, this story was incredible :O

My mind is so blown by the ending. The whole time I was convinced Hyperion was a vampire... all the little subtle hints you put in about it, like his old fashioned clothes and enchanting beauty and the marks he leaves on Albus which seem to put Albus in a daze... AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND PUT THAT INCREDIBLE TWIST AT THE END LIKE SERIOUSLY I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AT ALL AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY

you are so, so talented. I could really feel the depths of Albus' obsession and every single piece of description was beautiful. In a strange way this reminded me of 'Lolita', just because of the twisted obsessive sort of love that's portrayed.

I have never seen Albus portrayed remotely like this before and it was beyond fascinating to read. Talk about an original idea!!

I am trying to hard to pick out favourite quotes but i just loved the whole thing!! Okay, here are a few lines I thought were especially amazing:

Light shimmers out of his skin, gold and silver in tandem, the heavens themselves focusing on him, clouds parting over his head to reveal sky, pale blue and clear. He is crowned in a beam of sunlight, untouched by the breeze and the faint shower.

^I mean, what a way to introduce someone! Albus' obsession is clear right from the start, and you show it so beautifully. This description really just created a vivid picture in my mind, of the most incredible shimmering light and Renaissance-painting type handsomeness, everything already seeming almost dream-like.

Apollo reborn, I think, and resolutely do not wonder what (or whom) that would make me.

^I just adored all the references to mythology throughout the whole thing, they worked perfectly and really reflected this idea that Albus is more obsessed with the idea of love, of having this perfect relationship, the kind you can only find in myths and fairytales - the fact that he' constantly comparing their relationship to fiction is so telling!

He is Dorian Gray in the flesh: the high-collared white shirt covering the base of his neck, sealed with a cravat tie and pin. Perhaps on others it would have looked old-fashioned, out of place, but on him it looks right, strangely fitting, as though he had been created out of wind and light, just as he is, with those clothes on his back.

^You honestly set up this kind of 'bluff' where I thought Hyperion was the vampire so well with every bit of this line (and so many others), so it made the twist at the end so incredibly, delightfully surprising

Oh, but I want that: the romance with the candles and flowers, the sighs and swoons and knights in armour on pure white stallions, who hold have determination for shields and love for lances. I want for nothing more than to be the Hephaestion to his Alexander, Patroclus to his Achilles, Hyacinthus to his Apollo.

^Again with the mythology comparisons which I just adore!

I remember the white tomb, how it shone incandescent in the sunlight and moonlight same, and how it had always comforted me to sit there and relay my life, good and bad, to the man I was named for, the man I had always admired, even loved, for putting my future before his own; I think of the small, arched tombstone in a graveyard with the other war heroes, under the branches of a yew tree, and how there had been something solemn about laying a lily there every year eight days after New Yearís.

^I honestly don't think I've ever seen a fic which shows Albus having a relationship with his namesakes. Even though he never knew them you manage to link them to him so beautifully here, and I feel like this paragraph was really intense for some reason. It also kind of foreshadowed the ending - showing the dead Albus and Severus, us not knowing the Albus we're reading about is kind of dead too! (In case you can't tell I'm still not over how amazing this ending was)

On his throat, the marks I have made, two identical punctures, are already starting to heal; I make sure to clean them thoroughly, reluctant to let him be when the taste of him still lingers in my mouth.


^This line sent shivers down my spine

Itís more permanent this way, less fragile than any ceremony could ever be, and I brush the curls from his brow and kiss him as I take him through to my room, prepared for this very moment with the blinds drawn shut and the cloyingly sweet scent of flowers to smother Deathís presence.

^ I think I've run out of ways to compliment you. This is just too amazing.

And oh my god I'm running out of characters remaining in the review box. First time that's ever happened. I just love love love this story, and I can't believe you wrote it for me, I am honoured to be linked to it! You're so wonderful ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

~Maia xxx

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Review #14, by Leonore Blue Leather

25th September 2014:
Hello! Leo is going to break out of her usual habits and actually admit she's been here.

How do you do it? Everything you write is so beautiful. Poetic, even. The way you build the picture slowly, innocent at first and then gradually revealing that it's darker than it seems at first glance.

There's one sentence that doesn't quite read right for me: "They'd like that, I think, and smile; cat-like and contented." The semicolon especially seems to break it in the wrong place, and there's a tiny bit of ambiguity regarding which person the "smile" actually fits with ("they'd smile" or "I smile").

Your descriptions! Argh! They're just SO SO BEAUTIFUL. The room, with the moonlight... it paints this picture, and it's beautiful and creepy at the same time, and I can imagine it perfectly. The bite at the end is in the same style as everything else, and if flows in perfectly, and you're lost in the story and it suddenly occurs to you what's going on and you wonder why you didn't realise earlier.

Chocolate-and-firewhiskey apricot drops. I'm not sure why that stood out to me, but it did. It's such a gorgeous tiny detail. Your writing is full of these tiny details, and maybe that's what makes it so gorgeous.

That ending. Beautiful and creepy. Like the rest of it. The way you've just captured the thoughts and the mood. Shocking things seem natural. Your writing is so beautiful and unique and perfect. TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.

Ahem. Yes, I'm in awe of you.

~ Leo xx

Author's Response: Hey Leo! Haha, no worries about it - I have a habit of reading things and not reviewing, since I'm often multitasking :P Thanks so much for stopping by! It's so great to see you! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I loved writing this - it was difficult, though, building it up, because I wanted to get that innocence at the beginning, and the creepy, dark sort of thing later on, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Ooh, yeah, that does seem a bit weird - thank you so much for pointing it out, I'll go back and edit it to make more sense! Thank you! :)

Thank you again! The room with the moonlight was actually a deleted scene from my Albus/Gellert, haha, but I'd already taken out of that, and it fitted so well in with this, so I edited it a little, and then adapted it into this. I'm so glad the bite worked - I was so nervous that it would seem so out of place!

Haha, I loved including that! I always try to include other senses into things, because I think it's so striking when they are included. So yeah, chocolate-and-firewhisky apricot drops :P

Thank you so so much - I loved writing the ending, and I really wanted it to just be so creepy, even though there's this sort of weirdly sweet, romantic sort of layer to it. I'd tell you if I knew - honestly! But I just have no idea! I just write and sit at home with my fingers crossed! :P

Thank you so so much for the lovely, lovely review - it was such a great surprise to get, and so wonderful for you to break your habit ;) Thank you so much! :D

Aph xx


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Review #15, by BookDinosaur Blue Leather

25th September 2014:
HOLY NOTHING AND EVERYHING APH WHAT

I don't understand Aph this is so beautiful how do you do it?? Your description and word choices and the way you tell a story - all your prose is so magnificent and gorgeous and such a pleasure to read and I love it so much and now I want to cry as well because I could never do what you're pulling off here.

I can't even I don't

sorry sorry sorry

Proper reviewing has gone out the window.

I don't understand how beautifully you phrase things and your word choice is just so vivid and evocative and superb, so atmospheric, every word you chose to put in this seems to fit and I'm so jealous of that quality you have. ♥

All the emotions in this piece were so completely real as well; the desperately loving Albus and the shyness of Hyperion but mostly just Albus; every word of his narrative was soaked in longing and desire, and you pulled it off so well.

I loved the litany on Albus' namesakes. I've never really thought about how they both had sort of nonexistent love lives and the way Albus thought that it was his duty to love fully so that their sacrifices weren't in vain - it's something I've never considered before and I loved it.

You had me gasping out loud when it came to the end honestly I never saw it coming and I was reading this story slowly; letting Albus worm his way into my heart, and so I read that ivory punctured steel and my immediate thought was that Al was stabbing Scorpius because he was some sort of weirdo taxidermist like that lady in the Roald Dahl short story - you know, The Landlady. Because that is the logical conclusion, obvs. :P

But then I saw the light! and vampires. I know Maia actually has a couople of vampire-based storis on her AP, so mad props to you for incorporating that so seamlessly into your own story. I never even saw that coming. You are a genius

Ugh gah I hope they get a happily ever after. I hope Hyperion accepts what Albus did to him, or better, that he knew beforehand. I hope they do get their fairytale ending. ♥

This is honestly just such an amazing story Laura, and I'm so so glad I read it.

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