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Reading Reviews for Death Eaters
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Death Eaters

11th May 2015:
Hey Leigh!

This was a really cool approach to microfiction. The little snippets of each character gave us just enough to understand what was either driving them or bringing them down. I thought it was really clever to do it like this.

I thought the characterization was spot on with this as well. You really had a good idea of who you were writing and how to make each of them sound like their own person. Each one had a distinct tone of voice and thought process. That's something that's really hard to convey in so few words. Good work on that!

For a bit of constructive criticism, I would say be careful about sentence structure. In a couple places, I noticed that you had some sentences where I could understand what you meant, but didn't really make sense the way they were written. Experimenting with how you phrase things is always good, just be careful not to over complicate it too much. A couple sentences that stood out to me follow.

but not for the food; no, he had grown up on seldom food, - seldom is used incorrectly in this sentence. It's almost the same as using the word rarely. You could say “he had grown up on little food.” Or “he had grown up seldom eating”

Many a person experience love like falling asleep; - Many people experience love like falling asleep

All in all, I really liked this. I thought the use of six different characters was really impressive. Good work!


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Review #2, by Lady Asphodel Death Eaters

19th March 2015:
Very interesting snippets into the each of their minds!

The ones that stick to me out the most is Severus, Narcissa and Malfoy. With Regulus, I loved how you wrote that he's a dirt spot to the woman who he feels is perfect.

With Narcissa, I can relate to her in terms of sisters and with Andromeda protecting her. I'm an older sister myself, but I can't imagine leaving my little sisters like she did. I can understand why she left, but it's still sad to me.

With Severus, he's like really my favorite character anyway - so, I always enjoy reading what drives him to be a spy.

I don't ship Snape and Lily, but I'm glad that she was his driving force that helped the good win the war.

I'm enjoying reading Microfiction! Now I wish I have entered it too.

Great job with this anyway!

(For the HPFF Review Fundraiser)

- Asphodel

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Review #3, by Roisin Death Eaters

10th March 2015:
And here's my second obnoxiously belated review! Since this is like a flash fiction story collection, I'll review them individually:

Regulus- I really loved the line about her golden locks being 'too valuable.' Just throughout, there's a lot of lovely poetry, and the emphasis on interiority and metaphor was really great for such a brief piece. And that ending!

Narcissa- The opening of this one is super strong. I'm really impressed at how convincingly you crafted their relationship within such a short space. There's a lot of complexity with Narcissa and Andromeda's relationship and falling out, and I love the way you twisted it so that the anger was actually motivated by love and a sense of abandonment. Nice!

Evan- this story is a perfect change of pace, and the horror and darkness is really well situated within the whole collection. The descriptions are truly chilling, and you manage a really thorough analysis of Evan's varied perspective in a really short space. No words wasted here!

Fenrir- This one might be my favorite. I love the "they said he was / and so he was" thing. You managed a really big and powerful idea there with just four words. Just this tiny little grain which is enough to give us /some/ sympathy, even if it isn't enough to redeem him. I also really like that the voice here is different from the previous stories.

Severus- I really like the line 'there was no in between.' That was a really fresh way to describe love at first sight. I also really like the way you equate loss with hunger/starvation. It's sort of complicated too, because it suggests his love is a lot more about wanting to possess/consume her than engage with her.

Rabastan- I love that you choice to end with this one, and the way you play with 'dreaming.' Since this is all about Death Eaters, I like that you end with a theme suggestion self-delusion. The story you imply with Emmaline Vance is SUPER interesting too!

This is a really really cool collection, and I commend you of creating such tight pieces! Thank you for submitting to this challenge, I really loved reading your entires!

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Review #4, by wolfgirl17 Death Eaters

29th January 2015:
Happy Belated Puff hot Seat review day!

Sorry it took me so long, but I'm finally here with a review for you. This was a really interesting piece. I really liked the tiny snapshot of time for each one. The tiny peek into the minds of each other these Death Eaters. I've never read anything like it before and so it definitley caught my eye.

I honestly can't decide which one I liked best, though I'm always partial to Snape. Rabastan was pretty cool too.

Great little fic! Keep up the fantastic work!


Author's Response: Hi!

That's alright, I'm so backed up it's not even funny. Thanks so much! I tried to add in a bit of everyone that I've thought of before.

I am always partial to Regulus and Rabastan :p But I also love Snape.



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Review #5, by Freda_and_Georgina Death Eaters

19th January 2015:
That was so interesting. I like how you show all of their regret in so few words and make it into this. I absolutely love it and am glad I got a chance to read it.

Loved reading every word of this microfic.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! :D


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Review #6, by Lululuna Death Eaters

1st January 2015:
Hello! :) Here for your second of three prize reviews! :D

I couldn't resist this story, the summary and promise of darkness caught my eye. I'm always so impressed by micro fiction because I myself am awful at it so I'm really impressed with what you've accomplished here!

I'll go through for each character!

Regulus: Wow, I love how much emotion and foreshadowing was in his section. It really showed his self-loathing and doubt as rationale for his eventual betrayal of Voldemort, and the last line was just chilling as we all know what happens to him. It was so interesting to refer to him as "exploding" and made it seem like his sacrifice wasn't necessarily rational, but an inevitable build-up of guilt and hate.

Narcissa: I loved the line about Ted having the "kindest of eyes" &hearts. The connections between the Black sisters always fascinated me and I liked how you showed Andromeda as Narcissi's protector, but Narcissa as inherently selfish and not being able to see beyond her own limitations. It seemed like Narcissa wasn't strong enough to shift into that role of protector which causes her to retract into that babyish role. Very interesting considering how she eventually becomes the protector for Draco and is such a strong maternal character. This got me thinking how perhaps her fierce protection for Draco stems from her memories of Andromeda, and a desire to prove that she, too, can protect her loved ones. Very cool! :) I love stories that really get me thinking.

Rosier: Wow. That line about the children was really difficult to read. It was beautifully written, but heart wrenching and made me so angry for those poor unnamed victims. That's a real sign of powerful writing!

Greyback: This section was so interesting in showing how Greenback is motivated by revenge and wants to achieve self-worth. I felt that perhaps he himself is insecure and so he even needs to prove to himself that he is great, even if he knows that he is being evil or at least breaking the rules of the society. That was a really interesting interpretation in making him more sympathetic while still hating him.

Snape: This section was both creepy and sweet, but perhaps I'm a bit prejudiced against Snape already. :P I think you did a really good job with having his voice be distinct from the others. The form and language seemed to shift a little bit to show how he was unique among them. I really loved the image of Lily with a flower, and how she's associated with light. :)

Rabastan: Ah! Emmeline makes an appearance!! I loved this section and getting Rabastan's POV and really showing what a jerk he is. This section was mysterious, but kind of seemed like it was suggesting that he was using Legilimency on Emmeline to impress Voldemort, or at least showing off how he could manipulate Emmeline and perhaps other people in the future. It was such an interesting way to show their relationship from his view. It made me sad how he called her stupid and selfish but also excited at how she managed to break free from him. Really shows what a manipulative, patronizing man he is and adds some new insight into the Emmeline series.

This was a really great series that I loved reading and analyzing, as you can probably see. :P Sometimes I get a little carried away, hehe. Great job! :)

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Review #7, by Solo Death Eaters

14th December 2014:
Hello there!

I'm going to be honest from the outset: I've never been a fan of microfiction. The concept of it seems to go against everything I like in a work of fiction. I like fluidity and prose and willowing descriptions and getting inside characters heads. Which is why I'm (very pleasantly!) surprised that I adore this.

You have a perfect balance of description and characters thoughts. Your descriptions are amazing. Some are especially chilling - I love the setting of Rosier's and his struggle between the disgust but also the affirmation and the feeling of self worth. It's really interesting to see the 'alternative' side to Death Eaters - so often they're painted (quite rightly in most cases!) as hopeless evil causes that you forget about their lost humanity and emotions.

Oh, Snape! Bless his cotton socks. The amount of emotion I get through just a snippet on his obsession with Lily is fantastic, real kudos to your writing.

My favourite short is probably Regulus'. He's such an underwritten character and you've managed to explore so much in just a few sentences.

It's really interesting to see into the potential backstories and motives of his followers. I really enjoyed this, so well done and thank you!

Author's Response: Hi!

I knew nothing about microfiction before this challenge, honestly. Hearing that you adored this is so amazing, so thank you!

I have a difficult time writing Death Eaters without feelings. But I'm going to have to for my WIP. It's just I can't wrap my head around murdering without feeling something. Thanks!

Ugh Snape's feels get me all the time.

I love Regulus. He is so underwritten, but I manage to weave him into a lot of my work. :)

Thanks so much!


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Review #8, by 800 words of heaven Death Eaters

13th October 2014:

Ooh! This was really cool! I signed up as a maybe for this challenge, but I haven't gotten around to writing anything yet. I'm really looking forward to reading the entries for this challenge, though, so I was super glad to read this one!

Gah! It's hard to pick a fave. They were all really enjoyable, despite how sad and sometimes downright creepy they are. Don't death eaters have half a happy memory between them? I really loved the descriptions in all of them though. Very evocative. Just the thing with Halloween right around the corner!

Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much! I hope you're able to submit an entry--even if you don't make the deadline, I highly suggest writing MicroFiction. It's great practice, and helps rid of those plunnies knocking on the inside of your skull relentlessly.

Thanks so much!


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Review #9, by Rumpelstiltskin Death Eaters

2nd October 2014:
Hey there :).

Microfiction is something that can be extremely challenging, given that you must paint a picture within the limits of word constraint. I thought you did a fantastic job with each section, capturing a single moment in a very artistic manner.

Regulus -- This section was beautifully murky. You've managed to embody his suffering and internal conflict surrounding his decisions in life -- specifically joining Voldemort's ranks -- and the consequences thereof. The object of his affection is even deemed to be unfit for someone like him, who has become befouled by his own devices. The ending of this section was especially fantastic, and was absolutely my favorite part of this section. "...he was sure to explode. And that he did." -- this was a powerful statement that really wrapped up that particular flash-fiction nicely.

Narcissa -- While this section had a strong focal-point on Andromeda -- on how she was able to flee from a life shrouded in darkness, where she would certainly be dragged along through the chaos of a life that she did not agree with -- this also indirectly highlights some of Cissa's traits. I love that you've shown Cissa's sense of abandonment when her only protection from said life (Andromeda) left. In a way, it reflects the same kind of feelings as when Sirius left the Black home, and how I'd imagine that Regulus would feel. I thought that the parallels drawn there were quite clever.

Rosier -- I love how this section really highlights some of the aspects of war and being a Death Eater. Although orders were to eliminate an individual, an entire family was slaughtered just because they were there, and in the way of people like Bellatrix Lestrange. Rosier's inability to stomach the gruesome sight was absolutely powerful, speaking volumes for his characterization. The vulnerable feeling of being trapped with his 'choices' in life, unable to escape without facing a fate that would be surely worse than death, was captured wonderfully in the end.

Fenrir -- I love this character, and you've done him justice. The fact that he was not 'born' evil, but had become evil under the speculation of others, giving way to the pressures of his circumstance (eg becoming a werewolf and facing society, thusly), was truly a unique and awesome take on who Fenrir is.

Severus -- I'm always terrified about reading other author's characterization of him, as he's my favorite, but I was confident that you would do fantastically given what you'd done with the other characters in this (and I wasn't disappointed). I loved the idea that his beliefs about blood impurity was a manifestation of nurture, and I loved the contrast that you set up between Lily Evans and himself. The short build-up you've built here, about love, friendship, and a darkness that just kept lingering, was perfect, and I love the ultimate let-down of this build-up, where that love and friendship crumbled. The end of that section, where he swore not to fail her again, set up what we know of his canon characterization nicely.

Rabastan -- Ah, unrequited love. I love how this section focused on the naive girl who got away (Emmeline) rather than a feeling of hopelessness surrounding being a part of Voldemort's ranks. In fact, he seems quite pleased with being a part of that world, and his discontent surrounded the fact that Emmeline had been 'woken' from her naivety.

I absolutely loved this! The common themes penetrated throughout the story's entirety, while each section stood alone as its own flash-ficiton, capturing a single moment beautifully!

Great job, and thanks for the swap. (Also, sorry it took so long, I have to stop and think when I'm reviewing so that I don't miss anything :) ).


Author's Response: Hi Rumpel!

Thanks so so much for such elaborate review! It put the largest smile on my face :) writing a bit for each section was so nice of you, and I'd like to thank you for that. I'm also glad that you caught on that the Narcissa part was about Narcissa-some thought it was about Andromeda.

Thanks so much! And I didn't mind the wait :)


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Review #10, by sleepingdragons Death Eaters

30th September 2014:
I really enjoyed reading this! I've never read a microfiction before, but I thought it was really quite nice to read small snap shots of different characters' lives.
It was really interesting to read the thoughts of characters that were quite minor, and I think you explored these characters minds really well, even in just a small paragraph... I particularly likes Fenir Greyback's one!
You write really well! xx
- sleepingdragons

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It was a challenge writing so much in s little, and you confirmed that I needn't worry too much. Thanks so much for the kind review!


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Review #11, by daliha Death Eaters

29th September 2014:
This is the first time I read flash fiction and I quite enjoyed it. All of them were awesome but my favorite was Rabastan's story, how cruel were his words about Emmeline Vance, how could another human think like that of another, then again these Death Eaters were all twisted. i also enjoyed Evan Rosier's story as well, how the cruelty was too much yet he wanted to please the dark lord, the hold that man had over these people is ridiculous! Anyway I just wanted you to know I really like these and good luck with the challenge :)

Author's Response: Thanks so so much for the review. I'll be on my way to reviewing one of yours soon! I've been busy, but I should be over to your Author's Page soon! Thanks!


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