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Reading Reviews for When There Is No War
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crestwood Hideaway Kid

31st October 2014:
I see Sirius and Remus are just as interested in his refusal of bacon as I was. Or at least initial refusal. His reaction to them scolding him for language is just as telling! He must not have been allowed to do anything before. He seems even more naive about the world than you'd expect from someone his age. It's like he was locked up in a cellar his whole life or something. I love the portal to a different world in the closet joke because I think that was a Narnia reference. Can't be sure though - that's how I took it anyway.

Now I've reached the end of the story and I want more! I've got a sneaking suspicion that Ted is even worse than I think he was. I'm still wondering why Audrey, who seems like a perfectly nice girl, would decide to be with someone like him. Maybe he didn't start off that way and she's too scared to leave him? Although, if he's a Muggle, which I assume he is because it was said that she lives with Muggles, I wouldn't hesitate to curse him if I was her. Although, I'm not sure if he even knows about magic. And now I'm drawing comparisons between him and the Dursley's. Anyway, point is, I liked this a lot! An interesting take on a slash pairing that's pretty common. Thank you for joining my challenge!

Author's Response: Your theories about Andrew's social life will be answered, unfortunately, not until much later and addressed by a different character which you will also meet soon :)

Ted is a Muggle, yep. and to answer at least one question... he doesn't know about magic... :o

Glad you have enjoyed it! This is my most followed story, and I can say I am proud of it. I hope you will continue to read and watch for more updates. I have 27 chapters of this so far :o

Thanks so much for all your reviews and thoughts on my story and I want to thank you for your inspiration for writing this novel! :)

PS: it wasn't supposed to be this long... :/


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Review #2, by crestwood Let There Be Bacon

31st October 2014:
So here we finally get to know (a bit) of what happened to cause Andrew to be sent to Sirius. I assume Ted is dating Audrey, but he's not especially nice to Andrew and this woman, who seems to be a witch, is attempting to convince her to get him out of there before Ted abuses him in some way.

I'm really grateful for this insight into Andrews thoughts in this chapter, if only to verify that he does, in fact, think normally. I was starting to get afraid that he was mentally ill in some way. I suppose he still could be, just not as noticeable as it could be. There's all kinds of things that go wrong when a kid is abused. Hopefully Andrew can make it out of his childhood without any major problems.

It's ridiculous that Ted didn't allow Andrew to talk. That can't be healthy for a kid his age to just not talk. I could go on and on about the multiple levels of emotional abuse that bring upon him. Not to mention developmental problems arising from not speaking out loud for such an extended time. I already really dislike that character, even though he hasn't shown up in any scenes yet. His surprise at being 'allowed' to eat bacon is literally screaming child abuse at me. I want to see what happens once Sirius realizes what Andrew is coming from..

Author's Response: All your wonders and questions will be answered. I'll comment on what I can without ruining it for anyone.

I remember knowing a man who dated a woman. She had three kids, and while he didn't physically abuse them (to my knowledge), he insisted on belittling them. Anything they did, they did it wrong (they were 3, 4, and 6), I couldn't believe how cruel someone could be to a child.

Anyway, Ted is not quite based off him, but I remember a moment when he told the children to not to speak, because he didn't want to hear their tiny, whiny voices, and thus this is where I got the idea of Ted's rule from.

I am cruel, I know... :/


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Review #3, by crestwood Never a Dull Moment Here

31st October 2014:
I'm super excited to see the dynamic between Sirius/Remus and James/Lily!! I imagine that they'd all be even better friends because they've had more years to just be friends and not be, well, fighting a war.

It's so funny to see Harry with his family after how long I've been used to him as an orphan. It's a little strange to imagine his life not torn apart by Voldemort. Lily and James are pretty calm about all of this. Lily knows something about Audrey based on her reaction.

Andrews crash had me a little worried until I realized that Wizards can repair most injuries pretty easily. I still wonder if Andrew is exactly aware of what's going on. As in, does he know how long he has to stay with Sirius and Remus and does he know why his mother sent him to those two? I'd love to find out how much this kid knows. Obviously he doesn't give me much to work off of dialogue wise. I'll just have to read on. Great work so far!

Author's Response: Yes, everyone is so much more closer now. Wait until you see Severus' interaction with these characters!

I couldn't pass on up a story where I could write Harry with his parents. Everyone writes him as an orphan, as he was in cannon, but I wanted to do something different, and I thought it would be nice to see BOTH his parents there (which started the whole idea of eliminating the war all together).

As you find out in the next chapter, I added one with Andrew's POV (and more will follow) because of your listed concerns. It is much more easier to understand if you have a POV from the person you have no idea about. Of course I could have dragged that on, but even I couldn't stand around in question all the time. heh.


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Review #4, by crestwood Cold Beginnings

31st October 2014:
Now I really want to know what Audrey's life was like, seeing as it was so bad that she sent her son to a father that he'd never met just to get away from it all. I'd actually love to read her backstory, she seems like she has a lot in her past, being from a nearly pureblood, classically Slytherin family. And now she choose to live with Muggles. I'm sure that didn't go over really well with her family.

I love that Andrew's favorite color is blue and he chooses his room to be that color. It's only made better by the line 'The smurf has found his lair.' So, so funny. I don't think Sirius would be nearly as helpless at this parenting stuff as he seems to think he would be. Especially because he DOES have so many friends with kids to help him out and give him tips. Plus, everyone likes Remus.

I never would have thought about Kreacher trying to trick Andrew into freeing him, but that would have been disastrous. He would have taken the first chance at that possible because he just hates Sirius so much here. Sometimes I wish Kreacher and Sirius would get along better, but I doubt it would ever happen haha.

Author's Response: I uploaded this somewhere else, and I love all the theories people have come up with this story (I have over 40 followers and 60 reviews). I was literally in giggles with the fans' thought processes. Some have thought very correctly though, but I don't want to ruin anyone's fun in the story ;)

I picked blue because of the Ravenclaw, since that was Audrey's choice in house. I know little children get attached to a color when they are young; I figured this would be a way to show the wizards (and readers) that he has an obsession.

Kreacher has grown up many years around Slytherins, he is a master at manipulation. No one has yet to pick up on the biscuit bribes to get Andrew to listen. I figured he may have helped with child raising when he was younger. Thus his like for the younger Black sibling.


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Review #5, by crestwood Not Ready, Definitely Not Ready

31st October 2014:
I love the Dumbledore that you've written here. His little jokes about Sirius fainting are hilarious. This is quite inconvenient since Sirius is very sure that he does not want a child yet. He seems to still be pretty young. Early twenties Sirius would most likely not be able to handle that kind of responsibility of course.

I wonder why Andrew is so quiet in this story. He seems like he doesn't quite understand what's going on.

I'm really interested in how you handled Sirius' family's deaths in this version of events and I love that Kreacher obeys Remus so much more than he does Sirius because that's totally what would happen. We know that Kreacher responds overwhelmingly kinder toward people who aren't hostile to him, which Sirius definitely is, in any universe. The way Kreacher reacts to Andrew is probably going to end up being very troublesome. Another good chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, Dumbledore... I figured without having to worry about a war, I could see him joking and "playing" around with people and their heads (you'll see another glimpse of this in a later chapter).

I saw Kreacher warming up nicely to Remus, who is a hard not to like, but Kreacher and Sirius I doubt will EVER form an even neutral bond.


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Review #6, by crestwood Little Boy In Blue

31st October 2014:
Hi! I'm finally getting around to leaving reviews on this and I've put it off until the day before NaNo and I have NO good reason for this. But, I am super rushing through these right now. Luckily I've already read all of this though, so I already have some thoughts about it.

I LOVE the idea of the war never happening and everyone being (relatively) happy. In this universe, does Voldemort not exist or was he just taken down before he could gather too much power?

You write Sirius and Remus' home life so well and I feel like this is how they could have been. I'm very interested in Sirius' interest in Muggle things like graphic novels and instant pancakes. It's reminding me a bit of Mr. Weasley and it does make sense because, I mean, he owned a motorbike!

I love the idea of throwing Sirius' long lost son into the midst of their happy home life. I really like these kinds of plots and these two would be hilarious raising a kid together haha. Really good start to this!

Author's Response: "Voldemort" doesn't exist, no, I thought about introducing Tom Riddle though, but I am not sure where I could fit him.

Yes, I thought Sirius would like Muggle stuff (the motorbike clicked into my head), so I planted him into a University so he could be surrounded by muggles.

Sirius... well, you'll see his parenting style in this story. I don't think I am too far off from his cannon, really. I don't want to give too much out. But I have many chapter of this already written.


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Review #7, by Moonyxluna Little Boy In Blue

3rd October 2014:
Hi I'm here with your requested review!

First things first - I think you should take out the part in your beginning author's note where you 'warn' that your characters may be ooc. - it really just ends up hurting you because it kind of puts readers off from wanting to move forward. Be confident in your writing and let the reader come to their own ideas. (In fanfiction in general no character is going to be perfect, and especially in an AU. This is the same thing as saying in a summary "this sucks but read it anyway" - it's off-putting.)

Okay, here we go!

Ahh domestic bliss :D God, if only things could have been so simple and stupid Voldemort didn't go do his 'pureblood takeover' thing. The little bickering in the bathroom was very sweet.

There's a topic on the forums about Dialogue Tags that you should take a look at. It explains all about where commas need to be and what needs to be capatilized around quotation marks.

Okay. So after the little moment with the hairbrush you sort of tell me a large block of information. It is understandable being an AU that you want to establish some facts and I do appreciate that, but I think you need to do some more showing instead of telling. The information gets lost as I read on into the dialogue. While I remember that you mentioned James and Lily got married and had a baby and Peter married a muggle, the information would be much better served if I learned that information when James and Lily are introduced. Use the cute little domestic moment in the beginning to talk about how Remus/Sirius came to be, and then move on with the story until you find a more fitting place to explain the rest.

I love Sirius' fascination with muggles. It's reminiscent of Arthur Weasley and it's quite funny. I feel like Remus just goes along with him and his random facts like, "yes, dear", because he must just do it all the time :p Too cute.

Okay, Dumbledore is here and we have a child. I wonder if this has anything to do with the summary :D

Remus stood back up to look at Albus. -- feels kind of weird calling him Albus. I'd change this to Professor Dumbledore or even just Dumbledore. There's also another 'Albus' below, if you edit.

He had been dropped off in the early AM along with -- Change AM to morning. so it says "dropped off early this morning"

Somehow, somehow I suspected that it might be Sirius' kid and I'm so happy I was right! Oh boy I am excited for this! I love a good this is your kid!AU. I'd like to learn a little bit more about the mother and what happened to her in future chapters, as well as some more of that wonderful established relationship bliss.

I pointed out a lot of little things, but this was a very fun start overall. I'm interested to see what happens next - feel free to re-request for chapter two!

Julie

Author's Response: Oh, your review is very very helpful, I will definetely make those adjustments.

I think the only reason I had them call him Albus was because most of the adults in Cannon called him that, but I don't mind either name, really.

I thought explaining the characters at first would be best, but now that you suggested it, I will change it. People will probablly want to stick out with it just to find out ;)

Thanks so much!!


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