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Reading Reviews for Chicks Before Broomsticks
  
94 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Chloe Sign Up

21st February 2017:
I LOVED this story. It's fair to say I'm a little late on the bandwagon but I'm so greatful I found this piece of art. I've been searching and searching for a real lesbian relationship to be narrated in a beautiful way because, as much as I adore this site, it is content we are seriously lacking. As a bisexual myself it's unbelieveable to see yourself represented through characters you can relate to. Thank you so much. Please do write more femslash you have a talent!!!

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Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy End Game

28th September 2015:
Aw, that was just lovely! Seriously, dear, a perfect ending to this story! I love how comfortable they are together, finishing each other's sentences, making jokes about each other - it's so cute and squee-worthy! I'm really, really happy, for both of them, but for Hollie in particular, that things worked out this way!

I'm sorry that Salvador had to go, but so thrilled that now Hollie's no longer a reserve! That's amazing - it seems like everything's going their way!

I would LOVE to see a sequel to this, where they're married with kids... HINT, HINT. *whistles* :P

This is such an amazing story, lovely. I'm SO glad I got to read it! Thank you for sharing it!

Author's Response: Hey Jayde!

aw, thank you so much!! I really think they deserved it, after everything it took to finally get them together. (my bad)

I definitely thought of you as I wrote Sal leaving. Well, I was always planning on Sal leaving the team for Hollie to get a spot, but when I actually sat down and wrote the line, I knew you'd be sad!

hahaha, I have nothing planned at the moment, but I won't say never!

Thank you so much for your amazing comments throughout this story! You're amazing!!

Julie


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Review #3, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Sign Up

28th September 2015:
AW Yay!!! ♥ That worked out SO perfectly!! Eeep!! I'm just all squees right now, I'm so happy!

And now I have to read the epilogue, OMG!!

Author's Response: :D YAY! aw, I'm glad you liked it! The epilogue is definitely just as squee-worthy :p

Julie


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Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Hurt Heart

28th September 2015:
Oh no! Poor Hollie! I KNEW this was coming and I SO didn't want her to get hurt! :( You really have created such a loveable character, it's impossible not to get attached to her and feel bad for her! I'm trying really hard not to be mad at Roxanne right now, but it's not easy!

I loved the story of how Dean and Seamus worked things out, and how Dean used that to inspire Hollie. I'm happy to see that she wants to try, now I'm just hoping that Roxy feels the same way!

Another great chapter, and I'm off to the next!

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Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Tiny Kiss

28th September 2015:
Oh my gosh, YAY! Finally, some hope!!

And then Logan just HAD to come back right then, didn't he? UGH!!

Such a clyffie!! I'm off to the next chapter now, to find out what happens!

Great chapter!

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Review #6, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Joke Shop

28th September 2015:
Hello there, lovely! I figured it was about time I came back to finish reading this, especially now that you've gotten a Dobby nomination for it! Congratulations!!

I loved the situation here, with Hollie meeting George, Fred, and Angelina, it was really funny. But more than anything else in this chapter, I just feel SO SAD for Hollie. If this doesn't end well, it's going to break her heart! :( I'm really worried for her, and I REALLY hope things work out somehow! Maybe the fact that Roxy is asking questions about sexuality is a good sign? *Crosses fingers*

Anyway, another great chapter, and I'm off to the next! Well done!

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Review #7, by Liana Fake Date

26th September 2015:
At first, I thought Roxanne was really interested in Hollie. How difficult this must be for Hollie when she already seems to have a crush on Roxanne.

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Review #8, by Liana Big Game

20th September 2015:
That question seemed to come up rather quickly--Roxanne asking Hollie to be her girlfriend. I would think that being intoxicated while riding a broom would be very dangerous as well as disgracing the sponsors.

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Review #9, by TreacleTart Bad Press

18th September 2015:
Hey again!

Back for another chapter of your story!

I knew Logan was going to be trouble. For whatever reason, I could just sense right away that he had problems written all over him. He seems to have some serious drinking problems and maybe instead of worrying about revenue, fan favorites, and Quidditch, they should be worrying about getting him into rehab for alcohol addiction. If he doesn't get some help, I predict that he will really start to implode.

Poor Roxanne. She was treated just awfully in the tabloids. That's one thing that's always sounded hideous about fame to me. I can't imagine what it would be like to have your personal affairs plastered all over the public. And the speculation about Roxanne's sexuality was absurd. They couldn't seem to grasp the idea that she might be bi and that she doesn't just make a decision to be one way or another. Furthermore, the way they discussed her romances with both Logan and the mystery lady were absurd. They made it sound like she's a bad person for having a fling or two. All in all, it was super judgey and I can totally understand why she's upset.

Hollie's reaction to the news that Roxanne is bi is so sweet and kind of a bit sad. On the one hand, it now means that she might realistically have a shot with Roxanne at some point, but on the other hand it sort of feeds this secret crush that she had and Roxanne might never be interested in her.

Their coach sort of seems like a jerk. I can understand why he's furious with Logan and why he's chewing him out, but the way he rounds on Roxanne is awful. She was a victim who was put on public display in the tabloids. She didn't cause the scene. Logan did. I'm glad that at least her teammates are there for her and being supportive. I almost wish that Hollie would've gone off on the coach though. He seems like he deserves a serious dressing down.

The tiniest little bit of CC. I just noticed one small typo...

In retrospect, she knew only thing that held her back – add the word “the” between knew and only

Another really good chapter. I'm looking forward to what's to come!

~Kaitlin

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Review #10, by TreacleTart Fast Life

17th September 2015:
Hi there!

I'm going around trying to leave reviews on every single story that's been nominated for a Dobby, so here I am! Congratulations on your nomination!

The first thing that really stood out to me was that the focus of your story so far seems to be Seamus' daughter. When people write Next Gen, I often find that Rose or Scorpius or Albus or James gets the most focus, so I was really pleased to see you focus on some different Next Gen characters.

Hollie is an interesting main character. I noticed right away that she doesn't quite seem to be into the party scene the way her teammates are. In fact, she sort of seems to be on the outside. As of yet, I'm not sure if that's self imposed or it's really because she's a bench warmer.

Hollie's crush on Roxanne is really sweet. She seems just so taken with her and to really admire her. Through Hollie's POV it seems pretty easy to tell why. It was pretty amusing when Roxanne grabbed her during the huddle. She was like a young child unsure of how to respond. I did feel a bit bad when she saw Roxanne snogging Logan in the men's loo though. That seemed to really bother her regardless of how much she tried to play it off like it was no big deal.

The idea that the team has reputation crisis is interesting. I'm curious to see how that will develop. From this chapter at least, it sort of seems like Logan might have an alcohol abuse problem, but maybe I'm reading a bit too much into things. I am curious to see how the team will go about rehabbing their image.

As far as the technical aspects of your writing, I thought you did a good job. This chapter was easy to read and follow. Your characters were well thought out and I'm enjoying to get to know them. I didn't really notice much in the way of awkwardness or grammatical issues.

I did notice one little typo, but it was relatively minor.

Luckily, she had made it hope all in one piece - I think you meant home in one piece.

All in all, I thought this was a good first chapter. You've included enough information to make your OC interesting and you've given us an idea of her dilemmas. Moving forward, I have several questions and enough intrigue to keep me interested in reading. This did pretty much everything you want a good first chapter to do.

Great job! I'll be back to read more soon.

~Kaitlin

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Review #11, by Penelope Inkwell Fake Date

17th September 2015:
Aw, poor Hollie.

I really do hope the paparazzi aren't awful. Like, that they don't take Logan's side and imply that Hollie is some sort of homewrecker. That's the last thing she needs right now.

I love that Witch Weekly has better journalism than The Daily Prophet!
I'm really interested to know how Fred Weasley (II) is going to be depicted in this fic.

Man, Roxanne really knows how to work the press.

Hollie really is in deep, in more ways than one. I feel like this is going to be so much more of an ordeal than she realized. But she has an entertaining voice that's warm and relatable. I like hearing--well, reading--her narration of things

CC:

You mentioned that there are 'still' magazine pictures--which I'm assuming are Muggle magazines, as Tutshill's not a wizarding-only village? But it's odd that there would be wizarding media stuff in a place where Muggles could run into it. So, it might be good to explain that the Muggles can't see Witch Weekly or the Prophet, or to mention that the owner of the stand is an enterprising witch/wizard selling to all customers, maybe using some charm to make the wizarding papers look like something really boring--like, a magazine for people who collect vintage tea cozies, or something? That's just one idea out of a bunch of possibilities. But it might be good to have an explanation of some sort.

“I only played the two years,” Roxanne said. When Hollie furrowed her eyebrows in surprise,
--It's odd here that Hollie is surprised by this statement, because in chapter 3 Hollie herself had said that Roxanne had only played for two years, during her internal monologue. So, it seems like Hollie already knew that.


This is a super readable fic. It just glides along smoothly, and the characters are interesting, and it really just make you want to know what's going to happen to them. It's cute and really well written. Congratulations again on your Dobby nomination! That's phenomenal! :D

--Penny

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Review #12, by Penelope Inkwell Big Game

17th September 2015:
Whoa! That was an unexpected ending. Points to you, because I love a good plot twist.

I'm guessing that maybe she's suggesting being her 'girlfriend' to get the Prophet off her back and to keep people from wondering about it?

I cannot believe he put stupid Logan out there. He was obviously hung over. Obviously. He was never going to play well. I understand about keeping the fans happy, but you have to be able to win the game, too, and it's pretty hard to win the game without a functional Seeker. This guy. Honestly--drunk at a children's play ground, during a meet and greet with elementary aged kids. He'd already hit rock bottom. I can't believe he wasn't benched for that, alone. I won't pretend things like popularity and publicity shouldn't be taken into account, but it seems like the Tornados have got a pretty crappy coach.

Poor Alec.

“Shall we discuss the white Hippogriff in the room,
--I love when people wizard-ify idioms! :D

Oh, good, they have one more chance. No more mistakes, ever. For a Quidditch team.

Yikes!

CC:

The Rival’s Games,
-Rivals'?

a certain adorable knack for following the rules,
--since the word 'knack' was used just above, I'd suggest using an alternate word, like "tendency".

“Shall we discuss the white Hippogriff in the room,
--I loved this! But the one thing is, the idiom is just "the elephant in the room". A 'white elephant' is a concept/thing, but it means something different. The first means "something obvious and uncomfortable that people want to avoid discussing". The second is "a possession that is useless or troublesome, especially one that is maintained at great personal cost."


Another entertaining chapter! Looking forward to seeing what's going to happen next!

--Penny

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Review #13, by Penelope Inkwell Fast Life

17th September 2015:
Hello hello! I'm here checking out the Dobby nominations. Congratulations!

Hollie seems to be a likable protagonist so far. I like her voice. And her willingness to stand up for herself. Besides, I appreciate that she's sensible. I mean, we've all made poor choices, but when you're trying to work your way up from the bench, you really can't be partying at all hours.

he didn’t know why he insisted on whistling when no one was talking, but he did and she hated it.
--I had P.E. teachers like that, back in middle and high school. It really is the worst.

Hmm...interesting that Roxanne feels the ned to apologize. I don't know that you'd do that if just anyone had walked in on you making out with someone. Why apologize? Unless, perhaps, you were interested.

Look, I'm just sayin'!

CC:

I find the stars a little distracting, with the Spanish. I'd suggest putting it in italics. People usually know to look to the a/n if they want a translation for italicized terms, esp. in foreign languages.

a few candid’s
--I don't think ou need the apostrophe here.

Good work! On to the next chapter!

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Review #14, by Liana Bad Press

15th September 2015:
I can see that the Quidditch teams are much like the professional teams in the US. Can't behave themselves. Isn't that how it goes--a few people act up and the whole group gets blamed.

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Review #15, by MuggleMaybe Sign Up

13th September 2015:
Hi there!

I point blank don't get why this chapter, of all chapters, only has one review. It's THE chapter! I should have all the reviews!! Roxanne's confession was so sweet and I loved it!

But, I digress.

I'm here for the Dobby noms, and I have to admit that I probably wouldn't have read this story without that reason, because I don't usually read femslash (nothing against it, just not something I look for). I am SO GLAD you were nominated because it was, obviously, very well deserved, and also because it pushed me a little bit outside of my comfort zone and I really appreciate that!

Now, enough of me and onto the story. It is insanely readable. INSANELY. I was only planning to read through chapter 5 and then before I knew it I was at the end! The pacing is excellent - and I was impressed and pleased to see that you let this come to its natural resolution rather than forcing it into some long, drawn-out novel with lots of on-again off-again romance. This was a much more classy and satisfying plot arc. You did so well with developing the tension throughout the story!

Hollie manages to be self-assured and relateable at the same time. I like that she has self-doubts, but not about her fundamental self. The contrast between her certainty and relative ease with her sexuality contrasted with Angelina's struggle to understand herself was really nice.

Angelina in general was great - I can totally see why Hollie likes her! And I like that she is the golden girl, the one everyone adores, but she's also the one with more insecurities. Also, I like that she has some trouble accepting herself as bisexual even though she clearly isn't prejudiced. I think that's very honest and refreshing.

To be honest, I was worried when I started reading this, because I've read the "fake girl-friend" story line before and it can easily become a trope. This may be the first time I've seen that idea put to truly excellent use - outside of a Shakespearean comedy, at least. ;) Their relationship just developed so believably over the course of the story, and Angelina did not use Hollie too badly for me to forgive it when they ended up together.

Yeah. This was SO FUN and SO CUTE and I really, really enjoyed it so much!

A huge congratulations on the nomination, hon!

~Renee

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Review #16, by Liana Fast Life

12th September 2015:
I may not stay up late drinking after a Quidditch game but I stay up too late reading. Then it's miserable trying to get up in the morning and do what you're supposed to do the rest of the day.

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Review #17, by Shinicha End Game

6th September 2015:
Ah, I finished this story in one go (sorry for not stopping at the other chapters to review) and I loved it!

I liked your characters a LOT, including all the side characters that were very well done. Though I have to admit I was a bit worried about this trend of alcoholism in the professional Quidditch league! :P

The way the romance turned out was very sweet and realistic. The story idea itself might be a bit cliché, but it's refreshing to see it as a same-sex pairing story, and since it was so well done - what with Hollie's inner struggles and the way they got to know each other - it was so good!

I'd really love to know how the thing with Ellie and Alec will work out!! ^^

If I were to give any CC at all, I'd say that I got a bit confused as to which Dad was which (I had to go back to the AN where you explained it) and had to think a lot while reading. (Still not sure if I mixed them up in some scenes haha but maybe I'm just too slow)

Thanks for this great read!

Author's Response: Hehe, that's okay, it's great to hear you enjoyed it enough to want to keep reading!

Aw, thank you! I love big ensemble casts, and these characters were a lot of fun for me to write. lol, I'm worried as well, and I wrote it! I think it's a coping method for a lot of them, though, with the fame and all that jazz.

One of the major goals I had with this story was to take that cliche'd plot (fake dating) and try to really try to put my own spin on it. I'm so glad that that worked out!

Hehe, somewhere in the back of my head there's a side story about Alec and Ellie brewing. I don't have a strong enough idea for it at the current time, but I could definitely be talked into it if the right plunny came along.

I definitely understand that. My beta and I worked at that quite a bit to try to get some more physical characteristics into their descriptions to distinguish better. I think one of the internal flaws I had was I didn't want to take away from the story by over-explaining which dad was which, and I think that ended up making it confusing to the reader because there ended up being too little explanation.

Thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the story!


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Review #18, by Raylis End Game

5th June 2015:
Thank you for writing this. I think this is only the second full-length novel femslash fanfic I've seen, which is sad, but I applaud you for doubling the numbers :) Wish there was more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading! I agree, I wish there was more as well. If you're interested in more, there's a topic on the forums that has recommendations of femslash stories. Most of them are one-shots, but still might be worth your time to check out if you're looking for reading material. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #19, by Chazzie End Game

11th April 2015:
I was scrolling through some of the things I reviewed before and realised that I hadn't come back to this yet. Well, it was amazing. Your characters were really well written and I loved the way Roxanne admitted her true feelings for Hollie. It was adorable, and you made it so much funnier by the coach shouting in the background. There were so many moments that I loved - especially the ones that included Fred, or blanket forts, or Dean and Seamus. I'm shipping them so much right now. If JKR ever says they are not canon I will no longer listen to anything she says. Pft, what does she know about her own characters?

Brilliant story though, thank you for writing it! You did an excellent job with everything.

Lottie

Author's Response: Hi!

Hehe, Dean and Seamus are totally canon. IDC what canon says. hahaha.

Thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you thought! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the ending. I had a lot of fun (and stress and tears and writers block) writing Roxanne finally sharing her feelings, and writing Coach yelling in the background just felt like the perfect balance to all of that.

(Blanket forts FTW)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy to hear you liked it!

Julie


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Review #20, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack End Game

3rd April 2015:
Greetings! I have taken a short break from my full-time occupation of hiding from humans, in order to review this splendid story.

This was such a cute scene, and an appropriate end to this very captivating story. I am glad to see Hollie and Roxanne so happy together, and Hollie getting a permanent position on the team is just the icing on the cake! I loved the message of the story too, in the advice they gave the reporter (especially Roxanne) - wise words to live by, and so important.

I am a bit sad that the story is over, though - I will miss these lovely characters. Perhaps a sequel? Or a spin-off about Alec? The Loch Ness Monster (who is also a big fan of this story) and I have a bet going, about whether there will be a sequel. The loser of the bet has to allow themselves to be spotted by a human. Anyway, I do very much hope to read more about these incredible characters! Loved this story. Thank you for writing it!

Author's Response: So, dearest Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

Or, Kristin.

So, I'm not sure if you saw my reply to your blog post (it's off the main page now because as with everything [including this response] Julie's late, BUT) THIS RAMBLING PARENTHESIS MESS OF A SENTENCE IS NOT GOING WELL. Okay.

I totally guessed it was you. In my head. But then I didn't ask because I didn't want to sound like the crazy old Scottish loon who'd seen the Loch Ness Monster in the lake going "ARE YOU THE CRUMPLE HORNED SNORKACK KRISTIN?!"

I need to sleep, I've realized as I'm writing this response.

a;lkdjf but anyway I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story, and took the time to let me know what you (and Nessie) thought of it!

Oh jeez now I definitely should write a sequel...

Thank you so much, again, for all of your support and kindness. You're wonderful!

Julie


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Review #21, by marauderfan Sign Up

3rd April 2015:
As promised, here I am to love this chapter. And THIS CHAPTER IS EVERYTHING I WANTED IT TO BE. I kind of wish I had more words other than just "eEEE SO HAPPY akfhjxjfidjfsje" but no. Those are the only words I have. Yay Roxanne and Hollie! :D

Author's Response: Kristin!

I'm so happy you liked it!!! I always love(d) hearing your opinions on the chapters. Thanks so much for the continued support while I was writing this story. It was definitely helpful to me when I got stuck with things! I appreciate it a lot.

(Yay Roxanne and Hollie indeed :D )

Thank you!! ♥
Julie


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Review #22, by Fonzzx End Game

1st April 2015:
I can't believe this story is finished! You don't often seen Roxanne/OC pairings and I've really enjoyed this story! If you ever decide to write a sequel, you already have a reader :)

Author's Response: I know, me either! I'm glad it's finished, even though it was super fun to write. And, thank you so much! There are ideas definitely at play for a sequel (Alec and Ellie need a story...) but they've been put on the backburner at the moment. Thanks again for reading!!

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Review #23, by milominderbinder Hurt Heart

13th February 2015:
as always, i am obsessed and this fic is amazing. i just about died
when they actually kissed, and then OF COURSE everything
exploded right after - so so excited to see where it all goes from
here!!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hey Maia!

Ah, yay! I'm glad you still love it! I died a little bit writing it. It wasn't exactly in the grand plan, but I'm super happy with how it turned out.

And, of course :D

Thanks so much!! New chapter coming soon!

(ps - I am using your Faking It signature from the UFG on TDA and I can't stop looking at it, I love it so much!! Thanks for posting it!)

Julie


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Review #24, by Cannons Hurt Heart

13th February 2015:
A new chapter!

Typical that Avery comes back to ruin things! I really, really want to read the next chapter right about now ;)

Author's Response: HI FIN, YES A NEW CHAPTER :)

Haha, well, you had to expect that it would happen at one point! The next chapter is written and being beta'd! Thanks so much for your continued support!

Julie


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Review #25, by Claire Evergreen Hurt Heart

25th January 2015:
Yaaas new chapter!!

Oh my god, LOGAN GO AWAY NO ONE LIKES YOU!! If you mess up Roxy and Hollie I swear to god… *points menacingly in his direction*

Ugh, I feel so bad for Hollie but POOR ALEC. He just got a starting spot and now freaking Avery comes back and ugh no. It would just be better for everyone involved if Avery just “mysteriously” disappear or, ooo I know, I had a really bad Quidditch accident. Yeah, that would work! …right?

Alec is such a good friend, though. I love him so so much, he’s the perfect complement to Hollie’s personality and they are pretty much what brotps are made of. The dynamic you’ve written for them is absolutely wonderful, they play off each other so perfectly and you can tall they really care about each other a lot.

The whole scene with Dean and Hollie was just so cute, even when she was bawling her eyes out (I swear to god I will hurt Roxanne and Avery if they keep hurting her because, unlike Hollie, I am in complete denial that it was a fake relationship and THOSE TWO ARE JUST DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER OKAY?). The whole story about Dean and Seamus was perfect and I loved how he turned it into advice for Hollie, which she totally needs to follow up on because heck yeah Roxanne is someone she should fight for!

So, yeah, this review is probably completely incoherent, but oh well. I really love your story and I can’t wait for another chapter!!! (she says as she completely procrastinates writing her own story…)

-Claire

Author's Response: NEW CHAPTER! (late response, but still exciting)

Haha! I wish it was that easy! I be Hollie wishes it was that easy too.

I definitely think Alec got the worse end of the stick here. Yes, Hollie's the main character and it sucks that her romance is effected by it, but this is Alec's career and his future, and Avery just waltzes in and takes the spot away.

But I definitely agree, Alec is really a great friend in this chapter (well, all chapters) and hahaha I haven't thought of them as 'brotp' but I LOVE IT and will always refer to them as that from now on.

I loved writing the Dean scene. It wasn't really planned to be in the story, but with the 'fake relationship' trope there has to be that moment where the character comes clean with the family, so I think it ended up being really neat. Plus who doesn't love more backstory on Dean/Seamus? No one, that's who! And She definitely has to fight for Roxanne!

SHH I LOVED THIS REVIEW. It was fantastic. Just like you! Thank you so much!! (AND YES GO WRITE MORE SIRIUS/JULIANNE PLS THANK YOU)

Julie


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