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72 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alias999 An End and A Beginning

5th April 2017:
HI loved this story. Especially since it deals with Percy Weasley, a very 2D charcacter in the canon. Can't wait for the next chapter. Hope to see one soon.

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Review #2, by Yoshi_Kitten Bitter Conversations

18th April 2016:
Gabbie!! OMGosh, I am SO SORRY that it took me so long to get to this. I absolutely fail at review-swapping, lol! Let's see if I can make up for the incredibly long wait with a satisfactory review, lol!! =P

Okay, so first of all, it is absolutely wonderful to be reading this story again!! I re-read chapter 1 again also, just to refresh my memory, and I loved it even more the second time around!! I know I was a bit leery of this type of thing at first, but I am 100% in love with the story now! Audrey has really started to grow on me, especially when she is interacting with Percy, lol.

I am glad you took the time to give her backstory in this chapter, and I think it is awesome that she is putting herself through college. The poor thing barley has any time to think, it's no wonder she seems so one edge sometimes. And her family history is so tragic, the poor girl. I can't believe her brother just stopped talking to her. I do know what that's like, unfortunately, cuz my sister did the same thing IRL last year. Will he ever make an appearance in this story? I would hope that he would come to her wedding, but we shall just have to wait and see… Speaking of that though; I really hope that Audrey marrying Percy and joining the Weasley family will fill that void for her. She deserves to be in a big happy family like theirs, after all she's been through.

The two of them have such amazing chemistry together already, and the witty banter back and forth between them is very well done!! I especially love the way that they address each other as Mrs. Tang and Mr. Weasley. I just want them to be together already, and for Percy to tell her the truth about his world!!! GAH!!! There seems to be some obstacles that they will have to overcome before that can happen though. For example, Percy seems exceptionally moody. I get the feeling that there is more to his current state of depression other than Fred's death, but I could be wrong though.

I know this was a longer chapter than most would prefer, but it flowed so well that I barley noticed the length. Besides, I am guilty of writing lengthy conversations myself, so I really can't complain about that at all, lol! Seriously though; you write dialogue so amazingly well, Gabbie!! Everything from the time Percy woke up, to when he left with her book was brilliant!! His reaction to waking up in a stranger's house with little clothes on was great!! And I also loved his fascination with all of her muggle things!! When she said that the remote to the TV was “like magic” I laughed SO hard! Oh, if only she knew, haha!! =P

One tiny little thing I noticed here that was odd was when the child out on the sidewalk pointed Percy out to his mother, this getting Audrey's attention to the fact that he was there… Isn't it like one o'clock in the morning or later at this point? IDK what time the club closes, but didn't she just get off of work and hit up that burger joint on her way home? I may not have been following this correctly; so if I am wrong, then please just ignore this comment… But if it is that late out though, it just strikes me as weird that a little boy would be out with his mother at that hour. She lives in the muggle world, so I know there should be some sort of curfew laws in place, lol! I just don't see why any mother would be out on the street that late, when all the shops are closed and the only thing open are bars. Perhaps you could use some other element to get her attention there instead of a child? Again, if it actually is the middle of the day here and I read something wrong, just ignore this, lol! ^_^'

Overall this was an amazing chapter, and I cannot wait to read more!! You have created quite an amazing, intelligent, and strong OC here. Audrey is growing on me, and I am excited to see her and Percy's relationship as it progresses. I am especially excited for her and Hermione to meet. I'm sure Hermione will appreciate Audrey's collection of Shakespeare and Poe, lol!! I cannot help what Molly will say when she hears about Audrey's profession though. Will Percy even dare to tell his mother about that? If so, that will be interesting to read too, I'm sure!! ;)

Again, I am SO SORRY that it took me all week to get to this, hun. I really am enjoying this story tho, and I will be reading/reviewing chapter 3 ASAP, I promise!! Feel free to swap with me again any time!! Great story Gabbie, keep up the amazing work!!! ♥

~Deana~

Author's Response: Deana! *Squish*

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me this chunky and awesome review! It was so nice to hear from you and I totally enjoyed our swap so we must do it again sometime! ;D

I think that a lot of people are kind of put off by Audrey and I suppose it's because of how crass she tends to be. She's not everyone's cup of tea but what I like about her is that she's always pushing forward. I thought this chapter needed to hint at her background and show just how far she's come.

I have it in my mind that her brother does come back but he might not reunite with her so well as to come to her wedding. Audrey hasn't seen him in a long time and she's had to struggle on her own, so I think that it'll be really tense between the two. She does want a big family though and I feel like being with Percy might help her see that she can be loved in the same way she helps him understand that it's all right to be himself.

Percy and Audrey have hilarious banter! I think half of their relationship is witty remarks towards one another. The Weasley and Ms. Tang gag goes on throughout this whole story. Haha.

Percy IS very moody and he has a lot of dark secrets that will be revealed soon that might make their relationship harder. It does have a lot to do with Fred but then, it's the afterward that matters the most to me. What was he like after Fred died? I think a lot of what is wrong with him stems from that question.

My chapters are ALWAYS kind of chunky and I try no to do that so much. Hahah. I'm glad that it flowed well for you though because this wasn't the chapter that I was very proud of. It was very fun to write though and I loved everything about Percy's interactions with Audrey. Hahah.

The line about the remote always makes me snort with laughter. Hahaha.

Okay, I have gotten another comment about the mother and little boy. I have never really liked that particular scene and after reading what you had to say about it, I will go through and change it. It just doesn't seem to fit so I may just take it out entirely so thanks so much for pointing this out!

Audrey is a pretty strong woman but at the same time, she has her vulnerable side too. I love her a lot as an OC and I hope you stick around to see how her relationship with Percy progresses! I do believe she and Hermione will be good friends. Hahaha.

Thanks for the awesome review!

Much love,

Gabbie



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Review #3, by victoria_anne The Spice of Life

9th April 2016:
Hello gorgeous girl! ♥

I love seeing Audrey at work, there's something strong and powerful about her, especially as a woman, and that's probably why I like her character so much.

THIS! "did she want to do the most sinfully delicious things to Percy Weasley" - ha ha I love it! It's fun reading a story with Percy as the main man, I hardly seem to read them and he's such an uptight character that it's great to see him through the eyes of a girl!

Oooh and Percy's back! Woohoo! I can feel the tension from here!

Weeeasley...

Man I love how the two of them just can't seem to stay away from each other! That pull is so fun to read!

Aw poor Percy comparing himself to his other brothers, I can just imagine him doing that :(

Oopsy daisy! Percy nearly let his magic little secret slip!

EEEP! I love love love how their relationship is going! This is all very exciting, I love how you write them!

Amazing work again Gabby, but I expected nothing less ♥

Love B

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and being awesome and stuff. I really live writing Audrey at work because she's like a force of nature, she's strong and fierce.

Percy showed up again! Yes! The two of them are so attracted to each other and it's fun watching them fight it.

I feel like Percy felt overshadowed by his brothers. It makes me sad to think about but I think being referred to as the boring one really affected him.

Weasley.

I really love these two crazy kids and I'm happy that so many people enjoy them too. They're like a guilty pleasure.

I'll see you again, I hope!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by victoria_anne Bitter Conversations

24th March 2016:
Heya Gabbie!!

Oooh okay so PERCY! You make him so fascinating! And I love the amount of times his robes are described as a bathrobe ha ha ha.

I am honestly SO excited for when Audrey finds out he's a wizard. For now, I love the mystery you create around him from her POV - how strange he seems to her! Things like the TV remote and not knowing Shakespeare... No wonder she finds herself so drawn in!

Still in love with their flirty bickering - what an interesting couple they're going to make. I love your dialogue! I truly love Audrey's character too. I love how independent she is and how she'll go after what she wants. Again, this is what makes her a great lead.

It's so weird for me to feel drawn in by Percy's story when he's a canon character! But there you go...

Another great chapter, Gabbie! :) xxx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and stuff so quickly! I'm glad that you liked this chapter, it wasn't my personal favorite but this made me so happy!

I am totally in love with Percy right now, I think that he's a fantastic person. He's very hard to write but I just like the idea of making him so mysterious, you find out more about his issues later on though.

The bathrobe gag doesn't go away, I'm making sure of it. Hahaha.

Audrey finds out about Percy being a wizard pretty soon, actually. I wrote this story ages ago and have about twelve chapters up that have to be edited and revised. It's pretty gritty and dark, how she finds out about him though but I won't give anything away! ;)

PLEASE stay drawn to Percy, I want you guys to like him because I absolutely adore writing anti-heroes. :D

Thanks a ton!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by victoria_anne A Bad Taste

17th March 2016:
Okay wow, what an amazing first chapter!!

Where do I start?! I absolutely love your descriptions of Audrey's dancing at the club, even when her mind is distracted by other thoughts.

And George taking Percy to a strip club! That is so amazing and hilarious, I'm surprised it never happened sooner!

Audrey's character is very interesting, because clearly there's more to her than meets the eye, and she doesn't seem to be the conventional kind of stripper (according to Percy, anyway). She's just trying to live her life but she's good at what she does. A strong, independent female character.

There's this obvious tension and passion almost between them already. I can't wait to see them as a couple. But how do they get there?? I can't see that happening just yet! Now I'm wondering if Percy is hiding something? Apart from being a wizard of course...

Can't wait to see where this goes, amazing work once again, Gabbie! Xxx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a ton for this wonderful review and I'm so sorry that I'm so late! :D

This is seriously one of my favorite stories to write because Audrey's backstory is just so original. :D I love writing her dancing because I honestly can't dance to save my life. Hahaha.

If you read my one-shot, "That Night" it goes into more detail about how George/Lee ended up dragging Percy to the strip club. Hahaha. It was going to happen whether he wanted it too or not.

Audrey is a very layered character, there are so many different sides to her. I love writing her because she's got this amazing way of feeling so real. She's not what you think a stripper would be and although she's far from perfect, that's what makes her so much fun to write. :D

I'm all about strong, independent female character. :D

The connection between them is left unexplained because I think that a few people actually just connect to someone without really understanding why. It's electric! They honestly become an official couple by chapter seven or so but they've got a long way to go.

Percy is hiding quite a bit right now but you find out more about that later! ;)

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by GingeredTea The Heat of the Moment

9th November 2015:
You do a marvelous job of keeping Percy and Audrey in character - through all their moods. I really enjoyed this chapter from beginning to end (it was hard to pause and write this review!).

They're both so scared, so distant, yet want to be so close. Audrey really puts herself out on a limb a couple times, and Percy responds so well even though you can tell it is difficult for him to do so. I really want to know what he's hiding, too.

How strange it must feel for Audrey to see that Joseph is a jerk - just like Percy suspected. I imagine it made her rethink Percy's ability to assess people, and therefore will maybe help her see that what Percy see's in her is true.

I noticed this sentence, which was a bit confusing to me: “I think that she told you to and if you don't want me to break your arm, you had better get it off her.”

I think you meant to say something like: "I think she told you to back off." :)

Ah - no he's not worth it Percy!!!

Anyways, you did a marvelous job with this chapter and I can definitely feel the angst climbing higher. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by once again, your reviews always make me feel so happy. :) I have no idea how Audrey and Percy stay in character, they're really hard to write so I get lucky most of the time.

I think what I love so much about them is that they're so scared about falling in love but they can't help their attraction to each other.

Audrey is terrified of being hurt and Percy is scared of hurting her. His painful past is coming up in just a bit...I promise. Hahaha.

Totally! Percy is pretty perceptive and it had to hurt to see Audrey being so disappointed in someone she admired. I honestly feel like it's going to take a while for Audrey to truly accept that Percy sees how special she is. She's so stubborn.

That sentence you pointed out is a mess. I didn't like it either, I'll go and clean it up at some point.

Beat him up Percy!!!

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by GingeredTea Rich Expectations

6th November 2015:
"fearing that she would suffocate them both as a tide of desire swept throughout her body like a tidal wave. How could she want him this much? "

This opening phrase sort of summarizes the story up to this point. This inner conflict that both your characters seem to feel towards each other (sometimes I wish I could hear Percy's ramblings as much as Audrey's!). Just when they are about to allow each other to be close (in this moment physically but in others mentally), one or the other wonders WHY!

And then, of course, Percy has this fear of losing control. I guess that is sort of Percy's nature, but I also wish I knew more about the background that so terrified him.

On one hand I think Audrey believes he's just a "good boy" and is terribly embarrassed to realize their situation, but I imagine it is something a little more than that. In turn, he feels like she is mocking him (a lot of the time actually, he's just as much a cup-half-empty sort of guy as ever).

"Audrey was startled and unsettled by her reaction to him and she feverishly tried to gather her chaotic thoughts." - Audrey is "embarrassed" (I don't think that's the right word but I can't, at the moment, decide on a better one) by the emotions she feels for him, but she thinks he's embarrassed by the physical situation. I think, in all actuality, their emotional response is do to similar issues.


"Percy Weasley was quickly turning into an addiction that she couldn't control" - they both seem to react to each other the same way, but I think neither of them believes the other feels like they do.

Things settle out a little and I can sense Audrey's mind is calmer from her lack of racing thoughts. You transitioned well into the scene of them standing outside the door, the mood shifting just right. Percy must seem so odd - knowing nothing of modern technology or pizza.

This was a great chapter. I really felt like Percy and Audrey really grew in this chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by once again and I'm sorry that this response is so late! I always love getting your reviews. ;)

I think that up until this point, I was trying to push Percy and Audrey into finally breaking down. It's been building for a while now and it finally kind of exploded here. It's hard to write both of them and I'm happy that you guys are able to get into Audrey's mind so easily.

Percy has a real fear of losing control because of...reasons that will be hinted at in the next chapter. You get the sense that he doesn't like that side of himself but his past is also something else that's bothering him. He'll go into more detail in chapter eleven, if it works out the way I want.

Bwhaha, Percy is totally a cup half full type of guy. Ik now one reviewer, I think it might have been Treacle Tart said that it doesn't help their situation when Audrey is antagonizing him so much, which is something that I thought more people should have pointed out.

'Unsettled' is the right word for this sentence. Audrey has a fear of true intimacy but it does sound weird when you read it out loud.

I want them to settle down and relax around each other, the second half of this chapter was pretty much my attempt to put an end to their chaotic emotions. I'm happy it worked out though, I thought about cutting it out but you guys seem to like it!

Thanks a bunch!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by TreacleTart An End and A Beginning

27th October 2015:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap! I was so excited to see that there was a new chapter!

Wow! Percy really went nuts didn't he. I would've never guessed that he knew how to box muggle style. I also would've never guessed how ferocious he was either. I mean he really beat up Joseph (who deserved it frankly). I bet it was pretty terrifying for Audrey.

One thing that did feel slightly off to me was Audrey's reaction to everything. Throughout the story, you've pointed out several times that Audrey is barely scrapping by financially, but she hardly seems to care that she's lost her only means of financial support when Remmington fires her. I mean I understand that she's tired of working at that nasty strip club, but isn't she at all worried about how she'll pay the bills? I guess I just can't see her being completely cavalier about it is all.

I do like that she and Percy finally decided to stop playing games. It's about time they just admit that they want to date each other. Now, I wonder how things will go when he tells Audrey that he's a wizard.

Good chapter, as always.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for stopping by and leaving me this awful review. :D

I really struggled with how far I wanted to push Percy in this chapter. I didn't want him to be TOO brutal but at the same time, I think I had been building up to this moment for quite a while. He's not stable but you get to finally see what he's been hiding this entire time, at least for now. I assume that a lot of wizards can fight with their fists if they needed to but Percy has more experience with it than a few people. I shall not say how though. :D

I debated with Audrey's response to everything going on a lot in this chapter. I'm not really happy with how it turned out, especially when I look back on it but when I compared this version to the original, I think it was more realistic. She was kind of swooning over Percy's violence in that one and that didn't feel right to me. The thing about her job is that she IS scared about not having any money but she's desperately trying not to panic. I don't think I wrote that well enough though so that's my fault. Hahaha.

Yep! There are no more games with these two but I think you'll be surprised with how Audrey finds out that Percy is a wizard. :3

Thanks a bunch!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by TreacleTart The Heat of the Moment

15th October 2015:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap! Sorry it took me overnight to get to it. I started feeling pretty awful yesterday and just had to get some rest. Plus, I wanted to be able to focus properly on leaving you a nice review on your lovely story. :D

Ahh. I'm so happy to see Percy starting to let his guard down just a little bit. He's allowing himself to share normal details with Audrey about his family and his life. The vulnerability in him is nice. I hope that he continues to treat her better and break down the walls a bit.

I also liked seeing Audrey give him a shot even though life has been rough to her. Strippers tend to see the worst in men and a lot of them end up really jaded when it comes to dating, so I know it was a big step for her, but I think that Percy will prove to be worth it for her. It was really bittersweet when she told him that if he hurt her it would kill her. She usually makes herself out to be so tough, so seeing this soft moment between them was really touching.

Ugh. And Joseph Wring just had to show up! He's such a condescending jerk and a really big creep too. Clearly fame has gotten to his head. I hate guys that think they can just do whatever they want to a woman even after she's said no. In a way, I'm so glad that Percy was there to save her from it, but on the other hand, I'm a little nervous about him going bonkers and really hurting someone. That wild, feral anger that resides in him makes him seem quite vicious.

I'm a bit fearful for the next chapter. I wonder if Percy's full blown explosion is going to lead to a lot of trouble. The way I see it he attacks Wring. Remmington and his mob buddies attack Percy. Percy messes them all up and then Audrey loses her job and freaks out. Then maybe Percy comes to her rescue? I don't know. I really hope it doesn't get too ugly for Audrey's sake.

As usual, I'm really enjoying this story and I hope you'll be updating it soon. I'm so excited to see where Percy and Audrey go next and how their relationship starts to grow.

Good job!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you SO much for stopping by again, Kaitlin! I really love reading your reviews for this story, they're always so insightful!

I like writing Percy as softer here in this chapter because it really makes you see him as someone much more that that "feral energy" that has been building up since the first chapter. I wanted them to bond more in this chapter and I think that Percy really is working towards opening up to Audrey more, despite being apprehensive about it.

I think that Audrey has a lot more optimism than she thinks. She's been through so much but to give someone like Percy a chance really says a lot about her. The moment when she says that it would kill her if Percy hurt her was my favorite part of this chapter. It showed just how much he meant to her in that moment and writing touching scenes between them like that really makes me happy.

Joseph Wring returned! I am so sorry for that but it had to be done. He's an entitled prat and views women as something he can buy, he's everything that you should stray away from.

I'm happy that Percy defended her and everything too but now that you see the anger that he's been holding in, it makes you kind of worried. I am almost done with the next chapter and I'll probably post it soon after my one-shot is up (It's a George/Angelina so I'm really excited) so stay tuned!

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by Rumpelstiltskin Sweet and Sour

11th October 2015:
Hello again, Gabbie :).

This is the chapter that Remmington needs to be punched in the head. (But I'm getting ahead of myself!)

Audrey's excitement and anticipation to see Percy is awesome! This line has some awesome foreshadowing, "he was probably more twisted on the inside than she could have ever imagined" and I'm dying for them to work out their secrets. In the mean time, I'm really enjoying this slow-burning to-be romance ♥.

Now back to Remmington being a total sleaze. For Audrey to swoop in and defend the girl was brilliant, and it followed along the wonderful personality you've established for her. My favorite part of this scene was when I was truly expecting the girl to thank Audrey, but only lashed out at her, instead. It was this total anticlimactic feeling, and I thought it was very cleverly placed. And how dare Remmington bring down Audrey like that by using Percy! That was really, really low of him!

"But she had to make them happen." She's fantastic, really. I absolutely adore her drive, even when it seems like she has nearly everything stacked against her, she's still *so* determined! It's not just that she wants to graduate and get out of there, it's that she *will*.

And then Percy shows up (not in his bathrobe, mind you ;) ), and this overwhelming wave of excitement rushes over me, and once again I'm cheering for the Percy/Audrey ship again. (I know, I'm ridiculously odd, don't mind me.)

There's just so much in the following scene that appeals to me. First, the conversation between Percy and Audrey continues to kill me. The small talk mixed into innuendos, flirting, and some ridiculous notions (you know, circus freaks :P ) is just amazing. Then, of course, I love that she's so excited to be going somewhere with him, though she consistently puts herself down. Even so, she's so excited to be going with him, that she really wants to impress him -- with her red dress ;). And Percy with the television...that was just way too funny.

It was totally thoughtful of Percy to bring her to the theatre, even though he has absolutely no eloquence about him and leaves her doubting both herself and him most of the time.

Anyway, I do apologize for all of my gushing. I do that, a lot. Fantastic chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks a ton for all of your lovely reviews, they really are wonderful. I'm blown away by them to be honest! They make me blush! Hahaha.

I drop a lot of foreshadowing here and there in this story and it's so nice that you guys seem to pick up on them. Audrey mentions that Percy is a little weird more than once and it all builds up to chapter seven and eight, in which he can no longer hide from her. I will not spill it for you though! ;)

You know, I had someone else point out the bit with the girl Audrey helped too. I don't know why I ended up having her turn Audrey away but for some reason in my mind, that was all that came up. It worked out lovely because it certainly wasn't what you guys expected but it makes you wonder about people sometimes.

Remmington using Percy to bring Audrey down is very low but I think he just tries to break her in any way that he can.

I said in my last review but Audrey is a lot more grounded. I think that she's been through a lot of awful things so she's a lot more driven about making her life happen. She's SO determined though and that's what I love about her.

Percy/Audrey is practically my life right now, you have no idea. Hahahha. I love their small talk too because it helps me understand where they are at the moment. I never write this story from Percy's POV so when he's fussing at her or being his adorably weird self, it helps me get into his head more.

That television never gets fixed. Hahaha.

I hope you stop by again to find out what was going on with Percy here and thanks again for the review! :D

Much love,

Gabbie



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Review #11, by Rumpelstiltskin The Spice of Life

11th October 2015:
Aand it's Negligee Night at Bare Back! :D

I love that Audrey imagines dancing for Percy while she performs a super-steller that'll keep everyone talking about it for days. I loved even more that Percy was in the audience to bear witness to her super-stellar performance. I also hate to agree with Pamela, most of those guys are probably terrible people, but Percy's a little different (not that she'd know that).

Speaking of Pamela, I find that female-to-female (similarly, male-to-male) interactions bring out some of the best and true characterization for some characters. I'm truly glad there is someone to whom Audrey can relate, to bring out some more of her personality.

Audrey's forwardness and cheekiness are amazing -- I love it, and I love that it's directed towards Percy, who just doesn't quite know how to handle it. "“It was….invigorating, Ms. Tang." -- Oh goodness this makes me laugh. And she does such a good job handling his oddities (robes, behaviour, wizarding world money, etc.) but it totally makes sense why she's so curious about him.

It's too bad that Percy can't exactly open up to her with the Statute of Secrecy and whatnot, but at least he can answer some of her questions, somewhat truthfully. :D I can hardly wait for him to see her again, let alone Audrey!

Brilliant chapter, as usual!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hello!

Negligee Night at Bare Back is awesome!

People always talking about that scene with Audrey imagining her dancing for Percy. I'm not sure where that really came from but it fit with how the two of them were feeling around this time. Audrey wanted to see him and Percy couldn't get her out of his mind. Pamela I think has been at the club a lot longer than Audrey so I think her perspective is a bit more realistic, if not cynical.

I couldn't have Audrey not having a friend at the. I think that she probably got attached to Pamela because she filled in that mother role that she needed (They're a few years a part) and plus, it's always great to have Audrey bonding with someone else and showing more of her character, like you said.

Audrey is the cheekiest female character that I've ever written. She's so much fun to write and pairing her with Percy is just such a treat, he doesn't know what to do with her. What I like the most about her though is that she doesn't make much of a big deal about how odd he is, she just accepts him as he is.

I think that Percy might have to end up opening up about his world soon. I'm nearly finished with chapter seven so be on your toes!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by Rumpelstiltskin Bitter Conversations

10th October 2015:
Hello!

:) It's time to stop binge-reading this for a moment and get some reviews done. Also, I take back anything decent I said about her manager (but we'll get to that sleazeball in a while).

Audrey's such a great character in this. I really enjoy the amount of effort she's putting into trying to go to school, and her personality is amazing. There's something about Percy's characterization in this as well that I just can't get enough of.

The way she waits for him, despite their obvious difference of opinion, is adorable. As a reader, I find myself rooting for him to show up to get my Percy/Audrey fix in, even if they just end up shouting at each other the whole time. There's something about the two personalities, where they're both a little messed up and have aspects of their lives that they don't want to share, and they both *desperately* need somebody to love whose worth it, that really appeals to me, and I love them together.

So, when Percy stumbled (quite literally) onto the scene, I was elated (even if he was unimaginably in-the-bag). I found it highly amusing that Audrey dragged him back (with the assistance of a cab, of course) to her apartment, and his utter confusion upon waking was quite humorous as well. Percy Wealsey, wearer of bathrobes. ;)

His fascination with the television reminds me a lot of Arthur's fascination with all-things-Muggle, but being in a Pureblood family would leave him utterly bewildered, wouldn't it? You've got some excellent "filler dialogue" or "small talk" in here, and I definitely appreciate it. It emphasises your character's personalities and is thus a fantastic method of character building, especially because it keeps your audience highly entertained.

I'm sure Percy might find Poe interesting, in the very least. It was kind of Audrey to lend it to him, and it gives Percy the perfect excuse to come back. I know the pair are practically strangers, but I'm still over here rooting for the ship (and I totally wasn't a big Percy/Audrey shipper before this story, it just wasn't a pair that interested me very much).

Anyway, great chapter :)!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for coming back and leaving me these really great reviews. I haven't wanted to respond to them because I like reading them a lot but here we go!

I think that Audrey is a lot more grounded than my other female characters. She's the first one that I've written that's a Muggle and quite frankly, going through every day hardships just like anyone else. She's not worried about if a boy likes her or if her hair looks nasty, she's worried about paying rent and keeping her chin up. I wanted to have her interacting with Percy because during this time, he wasn't really in that mindset, he had kind of given up on his life so when I have them together, it really creates this wonderful mix. I'm glad that they work so well too and I'm not sure what it is about Percy that so many people seem to like either but he's just so delicious. :3

I think that Audrey would have been compelled to look for him for a while longer but I didn't want it to happen when she wanted it to. Percy kind of stumbling around being drunk and quite literally falling into her lap was more of what I wanted and I'm glad that worked. They have such a nice dynamic and the entire scene at her apartment was a lot of fun to write.

I haven't talked about it much but Percy has a fascination with Muggle things mostly because of Angelina. He spends a lot of time with George and Angie (She's half-blood) so he sees a lot of Muggle things and is really curious about them, probably more than he would have ever been growing up around his dad. He's also traveled quite a bit too, which is another thing I haven't mentioned yet but he DOES like breaking things apart and fixing them too.

Hahah.

I love the small talk bits too and their banter is just wonderful. Audrey has no filter when she's around other people most of the time and for whatever reason, Percy relaxes her so she doesn't bother holding back. Hahaha.

Percy really would like Poe! I think that he would get nightmares, though but he isn't going to turn away from a good book. :D

Thanks a ton!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by daliha Scrumptious

9th October 2015:
Hey I hadn't read this story for a while (RL has me crazy XD) But you're characterization of Percy is spot, and I love his interactions with Audrey, the way you described her feelings during the play and at the end the kiss, all of it was perfect! I love this story, it's the most unique take on the Percy/Audrey ship :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for coming back! Percy is for some reason, really hard to write but I'm glad that he came through okay for you guys. I had a hard time describing Audrey's feelings during the play but it all worked out in the end. :D The kiss was more than worth it! Thank you a thousand times!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by Rumpelstiltskin A Bad Taste

6th October 2015:
Hello! I am here for our swap!

I saw the word count and panicked for a moment (but surprisingly nearly 8000 words were read in a flash)!

That's one heck of a story hook, I have to say. From the moment I read that first line, I was completely overtaken by curiosity! I needed to find out what was happening, and that's an awesome thing to do to a reader. Furthermore, I love the astute-but-morbidly-quirky observations that Audrey makes. By her train of thought alone in the opening paragraphs -- where she studies the strange man in the audience (who I later discover was Percy, and I LOVE his character description, by the way) while making small (and humorous) remarks about his appearance and personality -- instantly makes her a fun character for me. She's totally right, he does need some more fun in his life ;).

She works at a strip club. Named Bear Back. This is amazingly unique to me in a fanfiction, and I'm finding it *amazingly* refreshing! Thank you for creating a fun, interesting character for me to dote on! ♥

Speaking of strip joints, Remmington is everything I'd imagine of a strip club manager. He's crude, a little rude, with this garishly waspish attitude (actually, I could also say Audrey is a bit waspish as well -- oh dear, we've opened the bee's hive ;) ). At the same time, I bet he takes care of 'his girls' rather well.

Bad Taste is a stupendous choice in stripper name for Audrey. Most definitely *nods*.

Oh my goodness, poor Percy! I think he may be in shock -- and I think this may be the best Percy/Audrey story I've ever read (and I'm not even halfway done with one chapter yet). How amazingly unique; I love this already.

"Mr. Percy Weasley" -- that's just too cute. I just can't help but imagine Lee and George dragging around Percy in the strip club, coercing him to interact with the dancers. I mean, he's *Percy* -- but that's what makes this so brilliant. Then, of course, forcing him to interact with her again at the end of the night was icing to the cake!

(I just want to throw in that I thoroughly enjoyed Audrey's description of George: the 'no-ear' brother. :D)

George needs a good smack...I hope Angela does beat him up when he gets home.

Oops, so he did see her staring at him through the curtains. I love the catastrophic disaster that becomes there conversation after he reveals that he did, in fact, see her. The insults and the jibes and the attitudes flying everywhere, it was utterly amazing chaos! This was beautifully written conflict and I adored every second of it! I mean, honestly, one of there first interactions being so uncouth, to put it lightly, is so much fun! I'm dying to know how a love interest sparks between them.

Also, I love their personalities. They're so different, but similar at the same time. They both seem to be able to hold their own in the little spitfire argument they're having.

What's more is that they leave together, still arguing, to get something to eat. I know they're only going to the same place to eat, as in the literal sense of going to get something to eat together, but it's too priceless. I'm crying with laughter -- "Why are you wearing a bath robe." Oh. My. God. You're killing me.

AND they have natural small-talk mixed in with the jabs. I can't...I just...this is amazing. I love it. I want to hug it and never let go!

"...but you're not exactly the sort of woman that I find myself involved with.” --Heheheh...foreshadowing, ahoy! I know he says that she doesn't want to see him again, but she will and she does and he will, too :D. He's so shady, and I love it.

If I say I love this one more time, I think you'll think I'm a crazy person, so I won't say it (but I do)!

Anyway..

Thanks for writing this! It is awesome. It's on my favorites. I'm coming back for more at some point. Why has nobody told me about this story before! Thank you, you've made my night!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the review, it's really amazing! This monster is so chunky that I'm not sure if I'll be able to touch on everything so forgive me in advance!

I have no idea why this chapter turned out to be so long but I'm glad that it flew by for you! I wanted to introduce both Audrey and Percy in an unconventional way and I'm glad that it paid off. Audrey's observations about him are pretty funny, you get a great sense of who she is as a person and knowing that this mysterious man is Percy just makes it all the better!

What's funny about the name of Bare Back is that I came up with it in about five seconds because I love puns. Bare Back for a strip club name? Hilarious, I say! Hahaha. I'm glad that this is so refreshing for you too, a lot of people have complimented me on that and it just makes me blush. Hahaha.

Remmington will get worse as you read. Hahah.

Bad Taste is an excellent name for Audrey and her last name is "Tang" so there is another pun for you. Hahahaha.

In my one shot "That Night", you actually get an explanation on why they were there to begin with.George and Lee DID drag Percy there and I suggest you check it out! :D

Audrey won't remember George's name for quite a while and yes, Angelina did beat him up.

I like the fact that Audrey and Percy are so hostile towards one another but have this weird connection. They argue and bark at one another but they can't help but like each other and I think that's hilarious. The entire scene when they were at the restaurant was just great for me and it's my favorite scene. Hahaha.

The bathrobe gag never fades. Hahha.

Thank you so much for the review! Percy is doomed!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by carry on with your knitting The Spice of Life

18th September 2015:
Hello! :D

I'm here for the review swap! I'm sorry it's so late, exhaustion hit me last night and to be honest i still am, but I'm pushing through it :)

But onto the review and more Audrey and Percy! :D

Okay, so Remington is just horrible! He's so sleazy and argh, it makes my like shiver reading him, what a creep! But I really liked that Audrey still stands up to him!
Also I loved that even though she's a stripper, she chose to have a more fifties themed outfit, which shows she still has a little bit of class :) and her friend Pamela really interests me, her being a mother and everything, I think that probably represents a lot of women in her line of work who have to do it for their children to live a good life.
Percy was there! He is so drawn to her, you can tell and I love that he has such a strange effect on Audrey, the way no one else does :)
I love the relationship you've created between them, theres so much tension there and you can tell really they both want each other so badly and they just have so much chemistry! It's addicting to read! I love how fascinating they find each other, it's just brilliant!
And yay! Percy is going to see her again, does this mean Adrey is breaking through his barriers I wander? ;)

Another awesome chapter! :D
Hope you're well! :)

Love and hugs!
Katie :)

Author's Response: HEllO!

Thank you so much for stopping by again with this great review. :D

Remmington is the worst and what's funny about this is that I actually saw a man that looked just like him. Hahaha. Audrey isn't a push over and she'll always stand up to people but at the same time, she's also very sensitive. I don't really go into much detail about Pamela but I wanted to have a woman that had been there for a while and had been through the good and bad side of the business.

Percy can't deny that he doesn't want Audrey but I really love the strange effect he has on her too. :D I'm glad that they have so much chemistry though because I was really worried about that in the later chapters. ;)

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #16, by carry on with your knitting Bitter Conversations

11th September 2015:
Hey Gabbie,

I saw on the forums that you're feeling down so I thought I would post a review to cheer you up! :)

I utterly adore your writing! You are the queen of angst and I literally bow down to you! You have such a talent and I'm addicted to you're stories! Please keep writing forever :') when I first saw this story I was a little apprehensive because of the chapter lengths, I find it hard to read for a long time, but after the first paragraph in the first chapter I was hooked! Not even that, the first sentence... You're writing flows so well and is so easy to read, I love it :)

Now onto this chapter!
Another great one as always :) I like the insight into her daily life and how much Percy has affected it from just one meeting! I think a lot of people have busy lives that they don't like, so this made Audrey really relatable :) I also love that she reads the classics!! Shakespeare is my fav! And her reaction to Percy not knowing him is hysterical! :')

Poor Percy wondering around drunk in a bath robe :') he kisses her again! You know they say your true feelings come out when you're drunk... ;) and him collapsing after was so funny!

Audrey looking after him added more layers to her character, as it's the opposite to her 'bad taste' side which I thought was great and I'm so happy you've set it up for th to meet again soon!

Finally I have a theory about what Percy's 'daemons' might be, I'll pm you it ;) but if I'm right, your hints to it are great!!

I hope you feel better soon and you can always pm to talk if you need to! :)

Love and hugs
Katie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for this great review, it really made me feel better. :D

I don't like to think that I'm the queen of angst but i do love writing it. I really can't write fluff that well so even when my stories are supposed to be romantic or comedies, they turn into angsty tales later on. Hahaha. I know my chapters are long, I've been trying to get better at that.

Yay! I'm really glad that you pointed out the fact that Percy was able to change Audrey's life just from entering it. I also wanted to make Audrey realistic with what she went through in her daily life. She struggles just like any other normal person and I'm glad that you liked it. Shakespeare is the best and the fact that Percy didn't know who he was is a sin! Hahaha.

Percy kissed her again! The nerveQ!

Audrey isn't completely hardened by life yet and I wanted to show that she has a softer side too. I don't think I would have been able to forgive her if she had just left him wandering around drunk. That wouldn't have been cool at all.

Percy may not be what you think but I hope you like what he really is, once that comes up! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #17, by carry on with your knitting A Bad Taste

9th September 2015:
Hey Gabbie! :)

I'm here for the review swap, sorry it took me so long but I suddenly had an idea for a story which I just had to get down on paper :')

I adore you stories and I'm so glad I found them! They are so dark and angst you with such dark humour that works so well and they are all just so addictive! I love that you explore that darker elements to the wizards game world that a lot of people overshadow, but actually it can be quite common place in the real world and I think this story is a brilliant example!

Audrey is such a feisty character Ted who I am already in love with. The girl k owns what she wants and she want Percy Weasley, so she's gun a go out there and get him which I love! Woo girl power! I loved her thought processes, and how she analysed Percy so much. It gave us an insight into her own character as well as his!
Percy is also facsinati g to read. He's so angsty! What is he hiding I wonder?! I noticed you have another Percy Weasley story so does it link with this and should I ready that before I carry on with this? He's such a cool character to explore because he must feel so much guilt for abandoning his family and taking the side of the ministry, I really look forward to see how he develops more in this fix!

Another brilliant price of writing and you have me hooked once again!

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and no worries about being late. I have to get to your review soon!

It's so flattering that you're reading most of the stories on my AP. You should really try reading "Abandon" next because I think you'd really like it. :D

I like dark humor and I really do enjoy writing angst, I'm not quite sure why but I've got a knack for it. I don't think the Wizarding world is all that much different from ours, actually. I'm sure that there are strip clubs there too but I wanted to have this particular story from the POV of a Muggle woman who encounters magic, though not necessarily in the way you think.

I'm glad that you like Audrey too, she's a lot for people to get used to. Hahaha. I think that going into her mind while she thinks about Percy is difficult but it's always so rewarding. :D

Percy is life, Percy is love.

I can't tell you what's going on with him right now but I hope you stick around to find out! :D

Thank you!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by alicia and anne Bitter Conversations

30th August 2015:
I am back to this story, I could have sworn that I reviewed this one, because I remember us swapping Percy and Audrey stories. Huh, I am here now anyways! :D

Poor Audrey, she has so much going on, she must be so exhausted! I wish that she could get a better job, but I love how different she is in having it. She seems so different to Percy, and I know that she's going to be wonderful for him.

Oh no! Percy is there and he seems drunk, I'm glad that Audrey was the one to find him. I'm glad that she took him to hers to make sure that he didn't end up in a gutter somewhere.

Awww he finds her cute and I love it so much!!

I seriously love your Percy so much! He's so angry and yet so nice, and I love that he keeps calling her cute.

AH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS SOME MORE AND BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY AND FIX EACH OTHER AND I JUST WANT IT ALL SO BADLY! I LOVED THIS CHAPTER I LOVED THE INTERACTION BETWEEN THEM BOTH!

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by and I think that we did swap with this story once before! It may have been a long time ago though. Welcome back!

Audrey does have a lot going on and I think that with her kind of lifestyle, she wouldn't have that much energy. It's amazing that she can function at all though but the fact that she can't get another job just yet just makes me cringe sometimes. I think that Audrey would have a good influence on Percy, she'll make him live.

Audrey is a pretty nice person deep down so I don't think that she would have left Percy anywhere. At least, I hope not. I think Percy finds anyone crabbier than him adorable. Hahahaha.

I love this version of Percy too! :3

Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope to see you again! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #19, by TreacleTart Rich Expectations

30th August 2015:
Hi Gabbie!

I'm here for another review swap!

So Percy has finally admitted that he has a thing for Audrey and things really got intense between them physically. I thought for just a moment that they were going to get it on in the alleyway. I'm actually glad that they didn't because I feel like after the life that Audrey's had, she would lose a lot of respect for him if things happened that way. I think it's important that he treat her properly so that she can get over this idea of being used.

I have to admit that Audrey and Percy are so infuriating to me. Here one moment their hot and heavy against an alley wall and the next moment they're screaming and fighting and insulting. I know Percy's damaged and having some personal struggles, but Audrey doesn't help him by antagonizing him either. I just wish they could talk nicely a little bit.

It was nice that at the end they finally started to have a bit more of a normal conversation. It's probably quite strange for Audrey to hear that Percy's never seen a movie or eaten pizza. It will all make so much more sense when she finds out he's a wizard. Speaking of which, I wonder how he's going to breach that subject with her. I mean he has to tell her eventually.

Like I said in the previous chapter with the CC, there are times where you tend to repeat what you're saying a bit much. For example, Audrey feeling angry or Percy feeling angry. A lot of the time, the description that you use allows the reader to see that they are angry, so you don't need to actually say "Anger exploded through Audrey's veins" because it becomes redundant.

Otherwise, I really enjoy this story and I hope you'll write some more of it soon. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by again! I really appreciate the fact that you came by for another chapter. :D

I think that a few people probably expected Audrey and Percy to get it on in that alley. I mean, it was getting pretty heated but I would never have been able to write something like that. I personally have too much respect for Audrey's character and I don't think Percy would have been able to go through with it, especially with the way that he is.

By this point, it's pretty darn obvious that Percy is infatuated with Audrey. I don't think it would have made much sense to deny that any longer. But I totally agree that they're both crazy. They're really hard to write for because their thoughts are all over the place and for some reason, I know that they mesh better that way. They're too damaged to get past their own issues right now, so they tend to lash out at each other. I'm glad that you pointed out that thing about Audrey antagonizing Percy too, people tend to just ignore that detail. I wanted to show that she has her faults when it comes to their relationship progressing too.

The entire thing about Percy's reveal is actually coming up! Chapter eight finally has Audrey realizing what he is, so stick around for that! :D

I always make the same mistake in all of my stories. It's so annoying..

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #20, by TreacleTart Scrumptious

30th August 2015:
Hi Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap!

Wow! This chapter was so intense! The way you described the theater was quite lovely. I really felt like you must have a passion for it to write it so well. I could vividly imagine the performers moving across the stage and the lights dimming.

The tension between Audrey and Percy feels like it's coming to a breaking point. She's so fed up and tired of being confused and truthfully I understand why. Percy's been a jerk to her over and over again..and even though she isn't exactly the most prim and proper girl..she still deserves better treatment. If he wanted to take her out, he should've just taken her out and stopped with all of the insults. It makes no sense to start with something nice and then destroy it with snide comments and rudeness.

I was really glad that Audrey gave him a piece of her mind after the play was over. It's one thing if he doesn't want to tell her his whole life story, but he does at least owe her some sort of explanation of why he keeps coming to see her.

Joseph Wring seemed slightly creepy. It was nice of him to check and make sure that Audrey was alright, but once she said she was okay, he should've backed off and taken a hint. I thought it was really weird for him to keep hanging around.

AND OMG THEY FINALLY KISSED!! IT'S ABOUT TIME!!! Excuse me while I do a little happy dance for them. Now maybe they can stop playing games and start actually caring for each other.

This was one of my favorite chapters so far. I really like this unusual and unique story line that you've written for Percy.

My only little bit of cc would be to be careful about repeating yourself too much. Sometimes you have a tendency to be a little redundant.

Otherwise, good job! I'll be over to the next chapter very soon.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this review and it's always great hearing what you think about this story. :D

I think what's strange about this is the fact that I don't have any experience with theater at all. I had a lot of people compliment me for that scene because it turned out so well but I felt so embarrassed because I know absolutely nothing about the stage. Hahaha.

I think that it was good that there was a breaking point in this chapter. Percy has been really unreasonable through most of his interactions with Audrey and anyone would have had enough by this point. I was unsure how I was going to write that scene but I was glad that it turned out okay, I worried that it would be kind of flat.

Oh, Joseph. He's kind of a creeper and you're totally supposed to get that vibe from him.

YES! They kissed! Sadly, things only get crazier for these two but I promise that it all works out. Hahahaha.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #21, by GingeredTea Scrumptious

20th August 2015:
Here with our review swap - sorry it took me so long. I forgot how long these chapters were!

I think of this story often, and check for updates - I don't think you've quite made it back to the spot you had previously before redoing, right? Anyways, I love it and it is one of those few stories that always comes to mind when I think of HP fan fiction. It took me a bit to get into, especially Audrey, but then it just became Head Canon. LOL

I have always loved your descriptive language (a love I think we can agree we share in our stories, lol) and I can see just the small things you've changed (or I think you have) and they really delicately altered how I perceived this chapter. The flow was amazing!

You manage to get into Percy's head so well through Audrey's eyes, turning the nerdy, awkward, rule-abiding character we knew into something more three dimensional. I love it! You manage to get me so caught up in Audrey's thoughts, and I love the device you've used with dialogue, embedding it into the paragraph. Usually, that annoys me, but I can tell it's almost purposeful and you deal with it well - even how you structure the rest of the sentence, so in this case I am enthralled. :)

Audrey and Percy are such fluctuating characters at the moment, which makes it tense but also intriguing! Can't wait to read what's next! I had fun re-reading this!!! :D :D

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for stopping by! I will get to your portion of the swap soon, I promise. Real life is hard right now and I don't have a lot of time anymore.

*Blush*

I think that it's great that you like this story so much. I honestly didn't think anyone would, since the concept was so outlandish. Hahah. It makes me feel better about what I've written too, Roisin ships this as Headcanon too and even mentioned Audrey in her novel, "Silver Linings" in chapter 3! I cried a little.

Anyway,

I think that the best thing in this chapter was the closed off image that comes to mind. Percy and Audrey are forced to be together in the dark but you get the feeling that they're more connected than ever. I'm glad that you noticed some of the changes too, I wanted to give this a different flow from the original.

I'm kind of in love with this version of Percy. I sketch him all the time and he just gets more compelling every time I write for him too. I'm glad that he feels so real too, that was what I was hoping for with him through Audrey's POV. Ah, this was such a lovely review!

Thank you so much,

Gabbie


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Review #22, by TreacleTart Sweet and Sour

17th August 2015:
Hi Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap! Sorry it took me a bit to get to it.

I've been meaning to come back and read more about Audrey and Percy for ages, but I wanted to do it when I had some time. Since you write such lengthy chapters, I wanted to really be able to sit down and focus on it properly.

Gosh. Remmington is such a sleezeball. The way he was treating that young woman was despicable. It's a good thing that Audrey stood up to him, even if the other girl didn't exactly thank her for it. It just shows him that he can't threaten and push everyone around.

I was so happy when Percy finally came to visit Audrey. It was nice for him to do this surprise date for her (even if he was sort of a jerk through most of it). I wonder why he keeps telling her he's so bad for her, but then showing up at her house and going to see her. Doesn't seem very convincing.

It's interesting how damaged people often find each other. Audrey's had a pretty tough life and while she's tough, I think there's still a little bit left inside of her that could be broken. It's got to be tough for her to be feeling so optimistic about Percy and then to have everyone telling her that it's just going to fail in the end.

I really hope the two of them can work things out. I'm quite curious to find out what happens when Audrey finds out that Percy is a wizard.

Good job.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again and I'm sorry that my chapters are so long. I can't seem to help myself. Hahahah.

Remmington is such a creep and what makes this weirder is that I actually talked to a guy that looked exactly as I'd imagined him. Hahaha. It was weird. I don't think Audrey would ever be able to turn her back on someone who needed her and while the girl didn't exactly seem thankful, it wouldn't have been right if she had just been left alone. Remmington is a creep and he treats all of the girls like they're property.

I like the fact that Percy came to visit Audrey too and I think he was more nervous about the date than she was. Well, around chapter eight or so, you find out what's really going on with him and you may be in agreement that he he's not that good for Audrey. Hahahaha.


I think that what's so great about Audrey is that she's damaged but still has a lot of vulnerability. There's a lot that she's never experienced with her life and I think it shows in how she interacts with Percy the most.

I think that they'll work things out but it may not happen in the way you think.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by Pixileanin A Bad Taste

9th August 2015:
Hi Gabbie, I have come for our swap!

This is a very unique take on the character of Audrey. I would never have tagged Percy with someone like this, so it makes me doubly curious as to what you've done with Percy. I mean, he's the same abrasive bloke, but with a much edgier edge about him. There's definitely something up with him, and the attraction that Audrey feels is by far not something that I would call natural... at least not the way that you have described it.

The other thing that makes me think something is crazy wrong about the situation, besides the obvious tragic backstory, is the title of the fic and the chapter title. I might be reading too much into it, but I can't wait to see how these things relate to the story as a whole.

I like the uncomfortable, snappy banter between the two of them. They almost act mad at each other for things that they see at first glance. It's like they have these unusual expectations about each other when they first meet, which leads me to believe that Percy is more attracted to Audrey than he's trying to admit.

These characters of yours are coming across as quite complex. I enjoyed reading this story, and I'm insanely curious as to where this whole thing will lead.

"It was the dead man."

This line stuck with me through the whole rest of the chapter. What in the world is going on with Percy??

Nice writing!

Pix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the great review, I certainly didn't think that I wold see you stopping by to check this out! A lot of people are put off by this story because of the content but this makes me pretty darn happy!

I don't think anyone would picture Percy with someone like Audrey. I thought that it would be good for him to be faced with a love that he never expected, from a woman that you may not believe could love so strongly. Also, just imagining Percy in a strip club is enough to make me laugh so there is that. Hahahaha.

I have had a lot of people comment on Audrey's attraction to Percy and while some agree that you can just spark like this for no reason with someone, others are of the impression that it's not necessarily a good thing. It's like...two broken things trying to fit together, I'm not quite sure if it's healthy or not.

Oh, you'll find out more about Percy later on. He's quite mysterious, isn't he? So delicious. I honestly believe that the truth about him will shock you. Percy isn't some kind of serial killer or anything like that but the thing with the title of this fic is this: I can't remember who said it but Audrey's last name is Tang, which is evocative of taste so each chapter title will have something to do with say, food? I use a lot of adjectives that relate back to that but also have something to do with the chapter in some way. So, this chapter is called "A Bad Taste", which in a way describes Audrey and Percy. Audrey isn't the most confident person around when it comes to her past and while we don't know what's going on with Percy, he's not squeaky clean either. I hope that makes sense.

Also, "Bad Taste" is Audrey's stage name at Bare Back so if what I said above confused you, just think of it that way. Hahahahaha.

Ah! You're so correct about the unusual expectations that they have of one another. It makes them really snippy with one another for some reason but actually, you get a better understanding of this entire chapter from my one-shot, "That Night". It's from Percy's POV so you may be able to see why he acted so abrasive towards her.

Oh, if only you could have read Percy's mind. He was thinking of doing very naughty things to Audrey... :3

"The dead man" line will be mentioned again at some point and you'll find out why those dead eyes of Percy's are so important.

Thank you so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #24, by MuggleMaybe The Heat of the Moment

3rd August 2015:
Hi, MuggleMaybe here for the review swap. Sorry this is late - I bit of more than I realized when I picked this story from your AP!

What a totally fascinating and original characterization of Audrey! You've done a great job developing her - we know she's very strong, cynical, and determined, but that exterior conceals a lot of fear and insecurity.

Your Percy is also very unique. In fact, I am still puzzled by him. I am not sure exactly what has lead him to behave this way. (Somehow the Statute of Secrecy on it's own doesn't seem like enough.) I have guesses (a lot about Fred), but I can't wait to learn his train of thought, and what kind of trouble he's been in and out of since the war.

Also, can we talk about... trying to make this 12+... the heat is turned waaay up in this story! ;) I never would have perceived Percy the way you portray him, but you make it work. He's self-loathing, and desperate, and cautious, and reckless all at the same time. (And yes, I DO realize that is contradictory. I'm not sure how you managed it, but well done!) Also, I love that you made him rather fit - his looks were mostly ignored in canon, and it's a great contrast to the typical perception of him as bookish

Your characters in a word: COMPLEX (yay!)
So, excellent work in the character department.

As far as areas for improvement go, I think the key thing is phrasing. You have some lines here and there that aren't very clear. So that's something to watch out for.

The other thing I would suggest is to be aware of your pacing. It is a good idea to keep things moving steadily along in one way or another. At the end of this chapter, you left us with a great cliff hanger that speeds the pace up, so that's good :)

My very favorite thing about this story is how real Audrey's life is. She has a crappy apartment, is behind on homework, barely makes the rent, and needs her TV repaired. (LOVED that bit!) She isn't just some muggle who was waiting around for magic to come into her life.

All in all, you've written a complex and VERY original story here. Great work!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for this great review and I'm so sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you, real life got in the way.

I absolutely adore Audrey. I think that she's such a relief to write because she's not at all like the other girls in my stories. I think that she's more grounded than the others, so her life feels more real to me. I wasn't really sure about how she would be received but you guys have been great! I think the key to her though is the fact that she has a lot of vulnerability underneath her tough exterior. She's a jaded woman who can love more fiercely than she realizes.

Now, Percy on the other hand...I had a lot of fun writing him. I tried to keep SOME elements of canon in with his character, which is why he's still a bit snooty at times but mostly he's my own creation. I am mostly fantasizing about a post-War Percy and I think that he turned out okay, there's still a lot of mystery behind him but I wanted to change people's ideas about what kind of person he could be. The fact that you find him attractive is just a HUGE relief to me! Well, at least the fact that he has muscles. I toyed around with this idea of a sexy Percy and for the most part, its been kind of addictive! :D

This story is one of my more intense ones, not sure if some of my earlier versions would have made the cut. Hahahaha.

Audrey's life is pretty realistic in the sense that nothing goes right and that it can suck badly. Hahaha. I mean, her issues are something that I think a lot of people understand. She wasn't looking for magic but it found her anyway. :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #25, by cherry_pop94 Scrumptious

30th July 2015:
Hello Gabbie! I'm here for our swap!

This was a really intense chapter! The relationship between Audrey and Percy is just so much more intense and crazy than anything I've ever been involved in myself. That can sometimes make it hard to relate to, but I find myself relating to them all the time. I mean, I think I personally would probably never try this hard, but I understand why they do.

The things they say to each other make me cringe. They're lewd sometimes, but it just so suits who they are. They're just chemically attracted to each other. It's really great reading about this kind of almost base attraction. I don't know how else to describe it. But I really enjoy it.

I don't know how you make such long chapters feel short, but I hardly ever feel really bogged down by them like I'd expect.

Thanks for a great swap Gabbie!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by once again with this awesome review. I had so much fun writing this chapter because it's so intense and the relationship between Audrey and Percy just keeps changing right before my eyes. There's something about them that's so exhausting but they're both so addictive to write. I hope that they come off as real people, so I'm glad that you're able to relate to them at all.

Ah, they have a very crude vocabulary. I think that's why I like writing them so much during scenes where they argue because they don't mince words. They spit it all out but it's just a part of who they are as people and they can't deny that they want the other any longer. :)

I never meant for this to be so long, actually but it kind of had a mind of its own. Hahahahh.

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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