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Reading Reviews for Dangereux
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pixileanin Prologue

11th August 2015:
Hi there! I am finally here. I hope this review is okay. I didnít see any notes on it saying that it was being edited, so I thought Iíd take a peek at what this is.

This starts off as very ominous. I donít yet know which character is speaking, and Iím not sure what happened, but I can feel through the tone of the story that it hasnít been pleasant. Whoever it is, is afraid, that much I can tell.

Ah, so itís Gabrielle. Why in the world did she think it was a good idea to go down here in the first place? I like how you feed us small pieces of the story at a time. It heightens the suspense and the mystery. So far, things have been revealed in such a way that Iím not frustrated, but just curious. Thatís a fine line to walk, and I do it a lot too. Sometimes I get it wrong and just end up making things too complicated. I donít feel that here, so good job on that.

Okay, so this was definitely a teaser prologue, and I see from the date that you havenít updated it in a while. Iíd really love to know where you were going with this, and what Gabrielle has gotten herself into. Youíve set everything up, so now itís time to get the story rolling.

Good luck on your next chapter!

Pix

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Review #2, by TreacleTart Prologue

28th July 2015:
Hi Sara!

Here for our review swap!

Wow. This is short, but very effective. Seriously, you've set the horror tone really well. I had chills from the get go.

So Gabrielle and Marietta have found a trap door and jumped inside of it. Now Marietta is missing and Gabrielle is covered in blood. At first I thought that maybe there were massive spiders down there, like there were in the forbidden forest, and that they had eaten Marietta...but I feel like she would've screamed had that been the case. She must've been incapacitated in some way.

Oh and then there's this very ominous character that shows up at the end. Way to throw me off balance. Now the question is is this person evil or someone who is also trapped under the trap door? I'm guessing evil, but we shall see.

As far as prologues go, I think this one does everything that it's supposed to do. I'm invested in Gabrielle and Marietta's well being and I'm dying to know why they went down there in the first place. Who is it they were looking for? I actually have a ton of questions for such a short piece and I'll definitely be back to read chapter 2 once it's posted.

Great work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #3, by The Basilisk Prologue

27th January 2015:
Hello. I have slithered out of the Chamber once again to read your story and petrify you with my review.

Thisss was a very nice beginning to your story. It wasss a haunting and chilling tale and I enjoyed your descriptions. I also find it interessting that you've chosen Gabriel as your main character here. This is the firsst time I've come across a story written from her point of view.

I liked how you opened the chapter with Gabriel's memory of never liking the dark. It sets the sinister tone for the story. The desscriptions were very good too, be it the the setting or the emotionsss of Gabriel at not being able to find Marietta and seeing blood. The ending wasss also chilling with the way the hooded man appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

All in all, thisss was a good prologue and sets the tone for the plot. I'm curious about Gabriel's backssstory now and also about what will happen next. Do keep writing.

Cheersss,
The Basilisk.

*returns to Chamber*

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Review #4, by mymischiefmanaged Prologue

26th January 2015:
Hello! Here for our Gryffindor January review swap.

I was excited to see this story. I don't think I've ever read something about Gabrielle Delacour and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with her as a character.

This is a really, really good opening. You get just the right level of mystery. At the moment I wish you'd given a little more information about where they are, and details of Gabrielle's age and things, but that's just because your next chapters aren't uploaded yet. When more of the story is up I think the mystery will very much be a positive feature of the chapter.

Your descriptions are excellent. The opening description of the darkness is really immersive and well written and you give just enough detail to set the scene without becoming repetitive or getting in the way of the action.

Is she with Marietta Edgecombe? I hope so. It would be a nice touch.

Also just as a small point, I really like the way you've written Gabrielle's accent. It's very like JK's accents. Sometimes in fanfiction people do almost too much and it gets in the way of the flow of the story. You've got it spot on.

I really enjoyed this and definitely am keen to read more when you update. The cliffhanger's an excellent ending but I just wish chapter two was up so I could find out more!

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and that you thought the opening was good. Yes, the details will come when more chapters get uploaded- the story will rewind a bit, to get where they are now. And yes, she is with Marietta Edgecombe.

Yay! I'm so happy that you think her accent is good, it's one of the things that gives me the most trouble :) Chapter 2 will be up soon, I promise! Thank you so much!

~Sara


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Review #5, by Here Comes Sandy Claws! Prologue

22nd December 2014:
Hi there again!

This story is so intriguing, even from the first lines, and this is only the prologue! The first line is a great opener, and alerts the reader automatically to the fact that something is out of the ordinary here; it sets the mood for the rest of the chapter.

SEVERAL questions came to mind here, and that's definitely a good thing - a great way to keep your readers interested and coming back for more, so they can get their answers to those questions! Some of those questions include: Where is this trapdoor? Where is Marietta? Is she hurt? And who is this man?!? I can't wait to find out!

Although I don't speak French, I think you did a great job with portraying the accent, and I love that this story is about Gabrielle, as I haven't read ANY stories about her before - very original!

Great chapter, and a great way to start a story! Hope to see a new one up soon!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter! It's definitely different from anything I've ever written before, so yay!

The questions will be answered throughout the course of the story- in the next chapter, it'll jump back a ways to explain what actually is going on.

Gabrielle isn't a very big character to write about, is she? I actually was beginning this stort for a challenge (which I did not enter in time, unfortunately) and Gabrielle was my character. But I have to say, I really do like writing her- even if the accent is extremely difficult to write.
Thank you so much for the review!

~Sara


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Review #6, by Personne Prologue

11th September 2014:
It's ťvidemment not evidemment. The accent is important.

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Review #7, by newgenerationlover Prologue

7th September 2014:
Hi there, Sara! When you posted in the cabin that your prologue was up I immediately had to come over and check it out!

Oh goodness! Why did they go into that creepy place? Have they never seen a horror movie before?! That is honestly just Common Sense 101, you don't go into super scary places because you will die. Period. That is the end. No more. Gah!! Is Marietta the one screaming?? Oh gosh, what did he do to her?? You already have me so invested!!

Well you have already done a marvelous job on this story. I know you said you aren't good at prologues but this one is SUPER good! You already have me invested in the character (though they do stupid things like going into creepy cellars *narrows eyes*) and you have me asking so many questions like what is the story they are investigating? Who is the man? Who's blood is on the wall? I can't wait to keep reading, keep up the good work!

-Mary

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