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19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by John An Unexpected Speech

29th May 2016:
Hey This is good so far. Please continue! Would like to see H/G developed into more

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Review #2, by FreshPickledToad16 An Unexpected Speech

30th April 2016:
I love your vision of life after Voldemort's defeat! I can't wait to see how Harry, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasley family will recover. Please write more soon!!

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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 They Would Like to Speak with You

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Hi again! Last one for now. :)

Wow, this was a pretty loaded chapter! I do agree that it would have been a bad idea for Harry to relive all of the events a second time by telling them to Minister Shacklebolt, so it was good that Ron and Hermione stepped up and told the story for him. I do think it's great to give Harry the Order of Merlin First Class for his accomplishments, even if he doesn't feel like he deserves it. And the people who helped out in the Battle definitely deserve awards and recognition as well, especially the ones who died for the cause. The idea of a memorial service is a great one, and a good way for people to say goodbye to their loved ones.

However, I do think that it's a pretty quick timeline you've put together here. Everyone is still healing from the Battle--maybe they're so hurt that they're still at the castle and haven't even gone back to their homes yet. Some still need major medical attention. Six days before a memorial service is a quick turnaround, and asking Harry to speak is quite a big burden. He might collapse again. He might be experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder right now, but if he has to go up in front of a crowd and tell his story and talk about the people who died, his PTSD might get much worse. I think it would make a bit more sense to extend the timeline just a little, maybe making it in two or three weeks--or maybe a month--to give everyone a little more time to repair the damage that the Battle caused.

I also find the terms "Golden Trio" and "Silver Trio" a little iffy here. I don't think Kingsley Shacklebolt would have used them, because the events of the war are still unknown to a whole lot of people, and I don't know if Kingsley even knows who Luna and Neville are. I would like to believe that the terms "Golden Trio" and "Silver Trio" evolved after Wizarding historians studied the accounts of the war extensively and dubbed the groups with these nicknames as a way of tracking their activities throughout the timeline. However, that's a matter of personal taste! :)

Another really good chapter, and I'm wondering how Harry will be able to deal with this public speaking thing!

♥Mallory

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed response. I've taken the story back up and I appreciate your feedback. More will be coming soon!

Cheers,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 An Unexpected I Love You

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw!

Molly Weasley is nothing, if not determined. :) I like that she was so concerned for Harry and wanted to go see him, and I like that Madame Pomfrey, ever the watchdog of the hospital wing, held her ground. But I did think that Molly was a little out of line to make those comments about Ginny--if anything, I think that she would be happy that Ginny had gone to see Harry, because it means that she does care and is watching over him out of her love for him.

Ron's subtle joke was a really good way to lighten the mood of that section, especially since you also mentioned George being sad and empty-eyed, which broke my heart. :(

Ginny's conversation with Harry was a good way to start mending things. They definitely need to talk things out, but not while they're both hurt. And Ginny still has a right to be mad, although I do suspect that she isn't as mad as she pretends to be. She cares about Harry far too much for that!

Ooh, and ouch! Ginny's injuries sound bad! How did she not notice them after the Battle? Did she just go immediately to yell at Harry without noticing how hurt she was? Man, she really needed some medical attention, and it's great that Harry drew Madame Pomfrey's attention to that!

One more chapter after this! I'm excited to see what's next!

♥Mallory

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed response.

BleedRedandGold


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Review #5, by UnluckyStar57 All the Time in the World

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw!

Oh wow, this is great! Making some progress on the feelings front! I like the way you showed Ginny's conversation with Hermione, making Ginny deny her feelings for Harry so that she seemed like she really didn't care about him, but then she totally went and hugged his sweater and thought about how much she cared. That's definitely realistic--she's mad at him for putting himself in danger, but she loves him too much to just say "I don't care at all" if she hears that he isn't doing so well. Which is what she essentially did by going to the hospital wing to see him--she was showing that she cares a lot.

I also found it appropriate that you made Molly the sort of "bad cop" parents and Arthur the "good cop." That's a very canon thing, and I can imagine them trying to get Ginny out of her room this way.

I did notice a few fragmentary sentences that you might want to revise if you find the time. It helps the story become a little bit easier to read.

And how did Madame Pomfrey find out so quickly about Ginny's fight with Harry? Either Hogwarts students are really good at gossip, or Ginny has powerful lungs! Either way, I thought it was fitting that Pomfrey was so overprotective of Harry. She is very fussy about her patients' health!

Another great chapter! I'll catch you at the next one!

♥Mallory

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed response.

BleedRedandGold


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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 She Thinks It's My Fault

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw!

Hello there! It's been a while since I've read a story that details the events between the end of the Battle and the Epilogue, so I'm glad that I have your story to read and review. :) There were a lot of very interesting things in this opening, and I will definitely go through them all, but I wanted to first congratulate you, because it looks like you've continued your one-shot into a novel. :D

First, I'm wondering why Harry, Ron, and Hermione are walking around the castle. Does this take place immediately following the battle, or the next day? Your choice to start the story in the middle of all the action is a really great technique because it grabs the reader's interest, but I would love a little bit more context before the story gets rolling.

Second, Ginny's anger was really scary to read! You did a great job with her monologue-of-sorts to Harry, while he was backed up against the wall and feeling very afraid. I can certainly understand her having those feelings about the situation, because he definitely left her in the lurch when he went off to hunt down those Horcruxes!

That being said, I hope that they can talk it out sometime in the future so that they can get together and be happy!

One suggestion that I have for you is to look carefully at this chapter once again. You switched from past to present tense throughout the narrative, and it is a little less confusing if you can pick a tense and stick to it.

Anyway, really strong beginning to the story, and I will be reading on!

♥Mallory

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed response. Grammar is my biggest difficulty with the writing process- I appreciate any comments you have about that matter. Look for a new chapter up within the next week or so!

BleedRedandGold


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Review #7, by HDLM They Would Like to Speak with You

21st October 2014:
When is the next chapter going to be up. I'm dying here lol

Author's Response: Hey!

I know it has been over a month. I've had so much work, I've also been experiencing a bit of writing block. I actually have a break this weekend and I will be finished with the next chapter by Sunday night and post it soon after.

Thanks for sticking with it!
BleedRedandGold


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Review #8, by Cannons She Thinks It's My Fault

13th September 2014:
Hey,

So fics set straight after the war are undoubty my favourite and this one gripped me in straight away. I was a little surprised that the ending of this chapters came so soon , but at least I have a few more chapters to look forward to

Author's Response: Hello,
Thanks for your review! Yes this chapter ended at a very strange point. I did not want to end it there. I, however, did not like the second half of the conversation that I had written so I scrapped that and decided to post the first half so I could have some more time to deeply consider when they talk about their futures- as this will layout much of the plot for the rest of the novel.

I also really like fics set straight after the war. It's something about keeping the world alive that draws me. I am glad you like my story and I plan to write many, many more chapters. A separate one-shot is in the works which details what happens in this story from Ron and Hermione's POV.

Thanks!
BleedRedandGold


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Review #9, by doesitmatter All the Time in the World

13th September 2014:
Good story, but you really need to proofread. A lot of punctuation and capitalization mistakes and occasional spelling mistakes. Make sure you always check through thoroughly before submitting. Good story. Enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hello,
First off I want to thank you for your thoughtful review. I have been considering having someone read my chapters for proofreading purposes and this confirms that I should. Proofreading is not my strong suit and I am often more concerned with making sure all of the content is in the chapter that I had planned on. I hope you continue to enjoy this story, and thank you again for your review.

Have a wonderful day,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #10, by HDLM They Would Like to Speak with You

12th September 2014:
Every well thought out story, can't wait to read more of it.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love to hear that people enjoy the story. I am working on the fifth chapter and it should be done in the next week or two. Stay tuned!

Thanks again,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #11, by DougA They Would Like to Speak with You

12th September 2014:
I actually like the way you deal with the recap. Most stories I have read go through a replay of what we know happened from the backs. Skipping that and going to Ginny's reaction is a unique way of handling it, and really works in my opinion.

Ginny's reaction is well done, especially concerning Fred's death. I notice that Harry has gone from 'she blames me' to 'it's all my fault' again. Ginny's reaction to it, both with him, and when he raises the point again with Kingsley and McGonagall is well done.

All in all, a great chapter in what it does and what it sets up for future chapters. Well done.

Author's Response: Hello,
Thank you for your thoughtful review. I am so glad you liked the way I handled the recap most everyone who reads HPFF has read all of the books (multiple times) and I think it slows the story down quite a bit.

Concerning Fred's death I found that I did not think Ginny really thought it was his fault, and as the readers will soon find out the rest of the family does not blame Harry- no one does. The idea that Harry believes it is his fault will follow him until and interesting source knocks some sense into him (hint it will not be Ginny).

This chapter and the next set up much of the story. Other chapters will also show what is going on with Ron and Hermione- the other to protagonists in J.K.R's masterpieces.

I truly appreciate your reviews. The next chapter should be posted with in the next two weeks. I hope you keep reading and reviewing.

Have a nice weekend,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #12, by DougA An Unexpected I Love You

4th September 2014:
Brilliant scene with Madam Pomfrey standing between Molly and her children. Brave woman. The Support from Ron and Hermione is welled played, as is the fact that she will contact Ron, not Molly.

The injuries to Harry and Ginny are well played. Most stories as if Harry has no injuries or only minor injuries. I believe that he would be one massive bruise at a minimum. The injuries to Ginny are a likely result, as we know that she would have been in the thick of everything she could be. The fact that she is just know feeling them would be due to the adrenaline finally running out. With you description of the gash in her back, it is a little hard to believe that no one noticed blood on her back, but that is a minor point. In the aftermath of the battle, it could have been overlooked, plus, she locked herself away.

Good Luck getting set up at college. I await the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hello,
Thank you for reading and reviewing. To address your comment about no one noticing the gash in her back in my mind at the end of the battle everyone is covered in dirt, soot and blood (weather it is theirs or someone elses) and every person is still kinda stunned to be alive. Mrs. Weasley is so shocked by Fred's death that she doesn't notice it. Soon after Ginny locked herself up in her room and with everything she was feeling her whole body felt numb. I hope that clears things up!

I am all set up here and the fourth chapter is in the works. With it we will see the beginning of a relationship that through trials and tribulations will last a lifetime.

Thank you,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #13, by DougA All the Time in the World

3rd September 2014:
And now, Ginny has time to think. She hears what Hermione says, and what her parents say, and has to process it all thru and against her anger. I think that it is telling that she puts on Harry's jumper for comfort. I imagine that she did that a lot during the past year, giving that it reminded her of Harry, and smelled like Harry, and that was all she had. Now, as mad as she is at him, she still needs that comfort.

As she works through her anger, she needs to know how Harry is, but can't really bring herself to let anybody know, given how she has given public voice to her rage. Taking all this trouble to get there unseen, only to find the door locked, has to be a real blow to her.

McGonagall here is very comforting, not something we normally see her doing. That fact that Madam Pomphrey only lets Ginny in because of McGonagall intercession is nice.

And now Ginny starts to work through her feelings and anger, realizing that she does need Harry, and that she finally falls asleep as that realization dawns on her.

Another excellent chapter.

Author's Response: Hello,
Thank you for your wonderful review. I hoped in this chapter to show McGonagall's softer side. Even though she as portrayed as a tough and often strict teacher I always thought that she cared for her students as if they were her own children.

I hope you keep reading and reviewing.

Thanks,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #14, by DougA She Thinks It's My Fault

3rd September 2014:
Good beginning. I always hated that JKR put Ginny on the back burner in the last book. She builds her up into a character that we care about, and can see as a partner/near equal for Harry, then moves her so far off stage that she hardly is even in the background. Not only would being without Harry and having to hide her special feelings for him tear her heart up, but to then see him "dead" would have crushed her. I never liked JKR's position for Harry that "Well, I can talk to her later."

This is more the reaction that I would expect from Ginny, hot head that she is. Harry has hurt her badly, and while she is not exactly fair to him in her rant, one wouldn't expect her to be in the frame of mind she is in.

I like that Harry 'moans' that she blames him for Fred, when he himself blames himself for Fred.

I also like that when others intend to talk to Harry after watching this scene, they are surprised to find that he is not in the mood to talk.

I enjoyed chapter one and will be watching for updates. Your post says possible one-shot, but you can't leave it here.

Author's Response: Hello,
I first want to thank you for your review. Yes! I feel that Ginny should have had more attention in the last book, but at the same time because JKR did not focus on her it gives me more liberty with her thoughts and actions. As you will see many of the chapters will show more insight into Ginny's head more so than other characters.

I hope you keep reading and reviewing.

Thanks!
BleedRedandGold



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Review #15, by GinnyFan1 All the Time in the World

30th August 2014:
Do you want a plotbunny? Someone to send copies to to proofread and bounce ideas off of? If you do, I've been doing it for a while and adore your story so far. You can e-mail me at rdelancret at gmail

Author's Response: Hello,
I truly appreciate your offer, however, for the time being I am writing this is a more fluid way. That is to say as soon as I finish writing the chapter I submit it for publication. All sorts of ideas are floating through my head.

It's great that you like my story. I hope you keep reading and reviewing. Any criticism is good criticism in my book. I hope you go read the recently posted chapter "An Unexpected I Love You".

Thanks again,
BleedRedandGold


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Review #16, by poobear (bruce) She Thinks It's My Fault

22nd August 2014:
Hi Great start love it defo carry on with more chapters please. I very much look forward to more and to see were this goes.
Bruce

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! A second chapter is currently in the works!

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Review #17, by Rody She Thinks It's My Fault

22nd August 2014:
Yes, Sorry for not write perfect english, I'm Brazilian. Portuguese Language. But to continue the story and make it a novel, not one-shot. Put in to translate Google Translate if you think failure. Sorry, it is the translator who erred.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And don't worry I could understand you completely!

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Review #18, by Eric She Thinks It's My Fault

22nd August 2014:
Great writing. Captures the emotion of the loose ends pretty well.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I appreciate the feedback. I have decided to make the story into a novel. Check back for an update in a week or two!

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Review #19, by Dragonsfire21 She Thinks It's My Fault

21st August 2014:
You so need to keep going this was amazing

Author's Response: Thanks! I believe I am going to. Working on the second chapter now!

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