Reading Reviews for Doing the Right Thing
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 Doing the Right Thing

24th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

Iím honestly kind of surprised that Voldemort had been merciful on Draco for failing his mission to kill Dumbledore. He didnít seem to expect for Draco to succeed or much care if he didnít - he seemed more interested in punishing the Malfoys than keeping them among his ranks.

And wow, he was under so much pressure his first time around, I can only imagine how that would have multiplied by this point.

Wow, what intense infiltration they had pulled off, getting the ministerís secret keeper to be a death eater.

Excuse me, mister minister, Iíd suggest that when you are awoken by a death eater in your house you donít make idle chit chat about how he got there.

With this one I really wasnít certain until the very end what Draco would choose, so well done with that.

One thing I quite liked about this piece was the vagueness of ďdoing the right thing.Ē There could indeed be different interpretations to that, depending on oneís perspective. Draco has been raised to believe that the ďright thingĒ is to be loyal to his family and their ideals, but that is not what he chose here, adhering instead to a deeper moral imperative. I do like that in this decision, he is still in a way being loyal to his family, just in a different way than he historically has.

This was a cool little one shot, and Iím left quite curious to see how it ties into your longer story!


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Review #2, by Ron 4 Hermione Doing the Right Thing

24th April 2017:
Hey there, here for CTF!

Oh no, this is going to make me feel sorry for Draco isnít it? I hate that aha. Huh, this could be canon I guess? Itís strange cause Iíve never thought about how the ministry was infiltrated but I quite like this idea, especially Draco having to do it to prove himself to Voldemort.

Ah,so his conscious kicks in. Thatís a nice touch, especially since we know that he isnít as hard as he might like to think. This was shown with Dumbledore, and I think that itís definitely likely he would have a repeat of what happened there by stalling and trying to decide what the best thing to do is.

I loved the different voices weighing in on his decision, especially the people that you choose, Dumbledore and his mother. I think he would definitely listen to those two figures, and if anyone was going to be able to make him change his mind and get him away from Voldemort, it would be DUmbledore and his mother.

This was a really nice idea for a story, and I liked that although he didnít stop the attack, because that would have probably got him killed so thatís kind of understandable, he did give the minister some warning and a chance to fight back.

Shaza :)

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Review #3, by victoria_anne Doing the Right Thing

12th August 2016:
Hello Deana!(What a gorgeous name, by the way)

Okay, let's get me up to date, ha ha!

I'm so hooked into this already. Who doesn't love a coup?! And since this is a missing moment from that wonderful novel of yours, now I really want to know what goes around it!

Ah, pooey for the Minister that his Secret Keeper was a Death Eater. You really can't trust 'em. I think I'll just stick to my diary with the little lock.

Ooh poor Draco, he's really at odds with himself, but that's what I like most about his character. He's a good person inside, surrounded by bad people outside. I think you write from his perspective really well.

YAY and of course he did the right thing! Although, since the Lestranges are involved, I still worry for Scrimgeour's safety somewhat.

Okay, so I'm glad I've read this one now, now I can move on to your other works!

♥ Bianca

Author's Response: Hello again, Bianca!! & Welcome to my old HPFF page, lol! ;)

I am so excited to see how excited you are about this story, haha!! I thought that the √ʬĬúSecret Keeper√Ę¬Ä¬Ě was revealed in this, but I guess not. You will get to see who it was in future chapters of the novel though. And OMG is it ever a shocker!! ;)

I LOVE writing from Draco's POV, and I was so happy when pretty much all of my assumptions about his character were confirmed in the Cursed Child play. The poor kid just needs a break!! It's funny you would say he is always surrounded by √ʬĬúbad people√Ę¬Ä¬Ě though, because the Novel kinda explores what happens to Draco when he around good people for a change. I really don't wanna give too much away though. You'll just have tor read the rest!!

Thank you again for leaving me such wonderful reviews!! I will be back to re-request in your thread for the next chapter of √ʬĬúLove, Not War√Ę¬Ä¬Ě ASAP!! Hope you don't mind if we switch back to AO3 after this little one-shot though. I am trying to get more feedback there because the novel that's posted on here is a mess right now, lol! As I'm sure you've probly already noticed, it is under major construction right now, as I am still in the middle of re-writing it.

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story, Bianca. Thank you SO MUCH!!! =)

~ Deana

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Review #4, by alicia and anne Doing the Right Thing

23rd May 2016:
I would not want to be trained by Bellatrix for a year. She would destroy your soul and humanity! Poor Draco, I feel sorry for him for that alone.

I'm glad that he looked at Scrimgeour and he slipped up. It shows that he still has his humanity, that he can still be saved and brought back to the light. It's what sets him apart from the others. He doesn't want this and you've shown that clearly in the way that he's behaving. I feel so sorry for him and I want to hug him and make it all go away. Save him from all of this darkness.

I love that ending! Draco redeeming himself. There's still good in him!

A fabulous one shot! I can see this happening so badly, and it is now official canon! I have declared it! :D

Fantastic work!

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Review #5, by princesslily_36 Doing the Right Thing

5th February 2016:
Hello Deana! I'm back for the Red VS Gold Review Battle! Team Gold!

I never usually read Draco, but you've captured him just wonderfully in 1000 words! You managed to explain the timeframe in which this story was set within the first two paragraphs, which made the rest of the story much easier to follow.

I like the whole idea of Draco being sent in during Scrimgeour's assassination. I've often wondered if there was a point between his failed attempted murder of Dumbledore and the Second Wizarding War, if he ever had a chance for redemption, or at least seeds of doubt regarding the DE activities.

Bringing I the sleeping Scrimgeour was great! People look their most vulnerable when they sleep, and for Draco to wonder if they were doing the right thing - this was the perfect opportunity.

we always see Draco through Harry's eyes, he comes off as a whiny, cowardly person. This time, he seemed more pensieve, we could see his inner turmoil, his sense of right and wrong which hadn't been as skewed as we originally thought.

I was actually wondering if he would warn Scrimgeour or succumb to his fears as we have so often seen him do. i Loved that he warned him, seeking redemption.

The complexity to Draco's characterization never fails to amaze me!

Great job Deana!

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Review #6, by TreacleTart Doing the Right Thing

27th January 2016:
Hello there!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle! Go Team Red!

I'm a big fan of Draco stories, especially ones that play with him possibly earning some redemption. I always thought he had the potential in cannon to be better than he was. I would've loved to see the story from his perspective and how he felt making the choices that he did.

You give me some of that here. This could easily be a missing moment from cannon where Draco is sent on another dangerous task to make up for not actually killing Dumbledore himself. I could definitely see Voldemort doing something like that.

And I love that the target is Scrimgeour as well. He's so unsympathetic to most readers because of the way he treats Harry in cnanon, but since Draco doesn't really know him, he feels a tugging within himself to do the right thing. Killing an innocent man in his sleep is just too far for him.

I also love that you have him really struggle over it. It's not a natural, easy decision for Draco. He worries about the potential affects it will have, which keeps him from becoming to OOC in my opinion. All the moment's in cannon when we see Draco about to do something big, he really mulls it over and struggles, so I'm glad you kept that element here.

The ending was quite the cliffhanger. Do you plan to write more? Perhaps a follow-up from Scrimgeour's POV? I could see a lot of potential for that.

My only tiny bit of CC is that because this is so short, it does tend to read a bit fast. I think a little more description about the things Draco is hearing, seeing, etc. would help slow it down a touch.

Anyway, I thought this was a nice, although short, story. I'd love to see more of this in the future.

Good job!


Author's Response: Hello there! After the story I just read of yours, I was a bit nervous to have you read this one of mine, lol!! I'm so glad to see that you liked it tho, thank you so much!! That really means a lot to me coming from you, because you write Draco absolutely flawlessly, lol! XD

I totally agree with what you're saying about it feeling rushed, as I too feel the same way. This was done for a challenge tho, and the rules stated that the entry had to be at 1,000 words EXACTLY. So I ended up having to cut a lot of things out, and reword a bunch of my sentences here to make everything fit into the tiny word limit.

I'm glad you didn't think that Draco was OOC here. I always try to make him as close to cannon as possible, while also putting my own spin on things as well. And I was beyond pleased when you said that this could be a "missing moment from cannon where Draco is sent on another dangerous task to make up for not actually killing Dumbledore himself." OMG, seriously?!? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! =D

It's great that this left you wanting to read more also, because this is actually a prequel/missing-moment from my Novel: "Love, Not War". I don't want to give too much away, but you definitely do get to see some more things from Scrimgeour's POV, as a direct result of this incident. The Minister pretty much owes Draco his life now, and that is most certainly exploited in chapter 7 ("Under Arrest") of "Love, Not War". I do hope that you will come back one day to read/review the first few chapters that I have re-written for that story as well. It would be an honor to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story, and see your reactions to where things go from here...

Thank you so much for this wonderful Review Kaitlin, I really appreciate it hun!! Hope to hear from you again soon. ;)


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Review #7, by maraudergeek Doing the Right Thing

26th January 2016:
Hey, here for our review swap :)

This was a really well-written one-shot! Even though I haven't read Love, Not War (though now I totally intend to, simply because I love the way you write), you did a great job of defining the context of the situation.

I also could feel the indecision Draco was facing! You did a really great job of portraying his dilemma, of choosing between right and wrong. The transition was smooth between him not wanting to mess it up this time, to starting to question everything he had known growing up, to finally helping the minister and sealing his fate. I mean, he's risking his life by helping him, so he shouldn't just change his mind out of the blue. I think you did a great job of making it seem natural that he would choose to do the right thing and betray Voldemort.

I'm definitely craving more, and I will give your other stories a glance sometime soon :) Thanks so much for the swap!


Author's Response: Hello dear!! Sorry it took a little longer to reply to this. I was like passing out at my desk last night, lol!! ^_^;

It's good to see that people think my transitions throughout this were so smooth, because that was super hard to convey while still remaining within the 1,000 word limit of the challenge. I literally had to cut like HALF of this story out because the first draft was a little over 2,000 words in the beginning, lol! XD

But I'm so happy to see that you liked this though, and I look forwards to hearing your thoughts on "Love, Not War" as well!! We should definitely do a swap like this again some time SOON!! Feel free to hit me up on the forums anytime. =)


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Review #8, by Elena Doing the Right Thing

31st October 2014:
It has been a while since I ventured back to the land of fan fiction :) I'm glad I read this. I want to read more.

I'm such a Draco fan - so this story already has me wanting more. What will happen next? I best read on then...

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Review #9, by MadiMalfoy Doing the Right Thing

1st October 2014:
Hi there!! Sorry it's been SOO long since you requested this--RL got in the way more than I was expecting it to! Since you didn't have anything specific, I'll just give you a general! :)

Firstly, DRACO MALFOY ♥ ugh I love that boy, you have no idea! He's such a deep character even though we aren't given a huge amount canonically about him, but JK has said he's the opposite of Harry (ish) so it makes sense. I really thoroughly enjoyed your characterization of him; it's deeply rooted in canon, which makes it that much more believable.

As far as plot goes, I think you came up with a great idea! Draco needs redemption in the Dark Lord's eye, so he accepts the challenge of creating a diversion for the Lestranges' killing of the Minister while retaining his promise to his mother to make her proud. I loved it!!

It flows very smoothly between past events and the current situation through some super well-written transitions & also Draco's thoughts. Wonderfully done!

THis really is a great piece and I would be delighted to review your novel! Just re-request whenever you have time and I'll do my best to get started on it! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #10, by Karou_Marauder Doing the Right Thing

1st October 2014:
Hola! I'm here checking out all the Dobby-nominated one-shots. :)

Aha, another side of Draco. This one seems less cowardly, more sure of himself. I'm glad he's focusing more on what his mother wants - she was always more concerned about Draco than the war, which I think you've captured nicely.

Great premise! Voldemort's almost-killing of Scrimgeour. I like the fact that this was Draco's one chance for redemption and he didn't take it - it's sort of like canon but you've put your own twist on, him which is nice.

-Karou :)

Author's Response: Aww, you're so nice! I'm so glad you liked this new side of Draco that I have tried to show here... If you're ever interested in reading more, you should check out my Novel "Love, Not War." Thanks so much for the unexpected review! I'm so glad you stopped by. Hope to hear from you again some time! =)

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Review #11, by DMsSlytherinPrincess Doing the Right Thing

28th September 2014:
Im so sorry this took sooo long. RL had been so messy and so distracting.
Better late than never though.
Anyways!! Thanks so much for entering!!

Okay I thought I wouldnt like something that was a prelude to something I've never read, but I was shocked when I enjoyed this story!! I loved the way it started; it explained what was going on in the first paragraph, it was written without a flaw.

I loved how you had the right amount of detail to what was going on and the surroundings.

Mentioning Dumbledore, especially noy in a negative way, (The old man, the crazt dead headmaster, etc like most of the time is written) is something that touched me and also showed Draco isn't as evil hearted as most people think he is/write him as.

The way you added the bits about his mother was written/mentioned very smoothly.

"I had been predestined for this life before I was conceived. I was born a Death Eater, so I should die one as well. This fate had been chosen for me. There was really no point in trying to escape it... Was there?"

Absolutely beautiful, is so little words (perfect ones) you made the readers understand and see into Dracos life. It showed us why and how he does what he does yet he questions it. I loved it. If thats not what you meant to show, I felt this way, and I loved it.

The end was a bit of a shocker, yet I was happy at the turn out. Im definitely going to start reading what happens.

Great job overall.
Again so sorry it took so long.

Author's Response: Hey, no worries on the time-frame at all. I'm just glad to see that you're ok! It's good to have you back hun. (((HUGS)))

So happy to see that you thought it was without any flaws. I cannot tell you how many edits I have done to make this perfect, lol!! Needless to say, I was (and still am) incredibly surprised that this made it into the voting rounds for the "Best One-Shot" Dobby!! I still may be a bit in shock about that one, lol. =P

Yes; I do believe that Draco is entirely misunderstood as a character. (I have a whole entire Novel dedicated to proving this theory, lol!!) So I was quite pleased to see that you enjoyed everything Draco had to say here about Dumbledore and his mother.

Oh, and that paragraph is one of my favorites too, so I'm really glad you mentioned it, thanks!! The fact that is is questioning things is exactly what I was aiming to get across here, so I'm glad you picked up on that as well. I was pleased to see that you liked the little surprise ending also. Honestly, it would make my LIFE if you did decide to check out my Novel after this too, lol!! If you love Draco as much as I do; then I really, really think that you might enjoy it. ;)

I'm really happy to hear that you loved this story so much!! Thank YOU for the challenge. I seriously needed to write this entry, lol. I don't think you understand how much this challenge has really helped me to get back into writing fanfiction again. In fact, it was because of writing this one-shot that I decided to completely revamp my entire Novel to go along with this concept! This challenge really inspired me to be creative again, and I think that it was exactly what I needed to comeback from my Hiatus. I hadn't written anything in over a year-and-a-half!! So THANK YOU so much for coming up with such a great Challenge idea. I loved being involved in this, and I am entirely pleased with the way that everything has turned out so far. (Again; still in awe of Dobby noms.) I really couldn't have done it without you, lol! So THANKS!! =)


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Review #12, by Roisin Doing the Right Thing

22nd September 2014:
Hello! SO GLAD you told me about this one-shot!

I really, REALLY liked the tone of this, and all of the language, just SO MUCH.

After seeing your comments about the first posted chapter of Love Not War, here's a possible suggestion: I think this opening is particularly strong, and if you're fretting over not being able to delete the original first (the one I last reviewed)--what if you "edited" it, but basically just copied and pasted the text of this into its place? I'm not sure if repeating two stories is kosher, but I haven't heard comment about it, so maybe ask the mods? (If there's any awkwardness to doing that, you could always just delete this one shot once its been absorbed into your novel. Sure, you'll lose your reviews on this, but you're about to get SO MANY NEW READERS now that you're up for Dobbys, so it would ultimately be worth it, I think).

Anyway, having some foreknowledge of the rest of Love Not War (because I read ahead, whoops!) I think this gives a much clearer picture of the style of the story. Then again, if you include it in the body of the novel, you might want to add some variety of transition to cohere it to the story--but if and how you do that is entirely your call. But as it stands, this is the *real* introduction, and I'd hate for readers to miss it!

OK, jumping back over to Love Not War now!

(Seriously, this was AWESOME! Sorry that this is more of a comment than a review, but I'm all anxious to read further!)


Author's Response: Hello again!! I'm so glad you decided to stop by and check this out first, lol!! Honestly, I thought about replacing the Intro chapter with this, but I actually wrote this for a challenge, and it could only be 1000 words! The results of the challenge still have not been posted yet, so I should probly leave it as-is for now, lol. Besides, I did this as a means to draw more attention to the larger story, you see. It's a lot easier to request a review for a one-shot, or do review swaps on one-shots, than it is to try and get someone to read a 40+ chartered Novel right off the bat, lol. So I decided to make this little companion piece to try and spark more interest in the Novel as a whole. I think it has paid off so far, lol, so I'll probly end up keeping them separate. That was a VERY good suggestion tho, thank you so much for your input!! ;)

Haha, it's totally okay that you read ahead. Truth be told; I've done the same thing with your story too, lol!! I try to leave Author notes, and message my new readers in so me way so that this doesn't get skipped over tho... I'm really glad that you enjoyed this tho, and pleased that you liked the language! I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the rest as well! Thank you so so much for all the lovely comments Roisin!! (:


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Review #13, by Infinityx Doing the Right Thing

20th September 2014:
Hi, here for your requested review!

This was a really interesting one-shot. I like how you've developed Draco's character after the events of the sixth book and retained his canon characterization while also giving him a new, individualistic way of thinking.

The beginning of the one-shot really made a great impact. The first three lines gave momentum to the story and also introduced Draco's voice and the determination within him to succeed.

I love how the language is kind of formal and retains a slight arrogance and haughtiness of his pureblood upbringing. This is clearly portrayed in the way his thoughts are structured, and his views about each step. I also love how you've paid attention to detail such as him referring to Lucius as "Father" and not "Dad." I think that's a small, yet important aspect that a lot of people miss out on, so good job!

I like your descriptions in this. The sentence structure makes the read crisp, and the whole scene plays out neatly. One suggestion I have is that instead of saying that the vase crashed with a "clang", you could maybe describe the sound using better imagery to make the reader actually be able to hear it instead of just knowing what happened, if you get what I mean. A metaphor there would give it greater clarity.

I love how you've brought out Draco's indecision and the uncertainty of what he's about to do. Even though there's a mention about him thinking of his mother's and Dumbledore's words, his decision is not completely certain until the end and I love that slight suspense there.

I do think Draco would refer to Voldemort as The Dark Lord, or you-know-who. That part was a bit odd. But otherwise, that ending was brilliant. The final dialogue just spoke volumes and I'm really interested to see how things would play out after this.

You can be sure that I'll be checking out your novel soon! This was great and I'm glad I read it. :)

Author's Response: Oh, wow, THANK YOU!! No, seriously, this review is so lovely; you just made my day!! I am so glad that you liked this so well, and that you seem to notice all the little details too. I know exactly what you mean about the use of the "clang" word here, lol. I really do need to find a better sounding word to put there. That was one of the things I changed to make this 1000 words for the challenge. I figured that someone would comment on it eventually, lol! And the Voldemort vs. Dark Lord wording was another thing that I changed to make it 1000 words exactly - Those 1000 word challenged are HARD work, haha!! =P

I am so glad that you liked this though, and I'm beyond pleased that you are interested in my Novel now as well. I cannot WAIT to hear your thoughts on that soon too!! If you would like, I can come back to re-request one chapter at a time, if that makes it easier? Thanks so much for this incredibly nice review, you are awesome!! I am so glad that you read this too, lol!! =D


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Review #14, by Moonyxluna Doing the Right Thing

15th September 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review! I mentioned this on the forums, but if you want to PM me about your novel, we can work something out. I know full well the feeling of picking a story back up after a few years and all your readers are gone. :p

I really like your voice for Draco. He has that little arrogance mixed in with some doubt that we love about him from the books.

I also like what you've done with this story. It's very harsh, but I can absolutely see Voldemort sending Draco to be the one to kill the Minister of Magic after his failings in killing Dumbledore. Such a creative idea to expand a little bit more on what was going on from the Death Eaters point of view.

OH, good! I'm glad Draco didn't just kill him in his sleep. As he said, it would have been cowardly. I said this above, but you captured his hesitation through the last few books really well.

I loved the last line. So very good in an unlike Draco way to tell him to pick up his wand. Wanting a fair fight. Very noble for a Death Eater :p

This isn't a super helpful review, but I really enjoyed this, and you did a good job with it! Again, feel free to PM me!


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Review #15, by slytherinchica08 Doing the Right Thing

11th September 2014:
So I remember this one shot as I do believe I was the one to validate it but it really is a wonderful piece so I'm glad to be coming back to it and reading it over again with a different set of eyes. I really like this one shot, I think that it's really original and really shows a different side of Draco. Although I am slightly sad that this isn't going to be turning to dramione aspects I think it still seems like an interesting concept and I look forward to seeing where you will take this. I think this one shot had a good amount of description and it really made me understand Draco Malfoy as a character more! I think that this definitely could have happened and I really like the ending as it's a bit of a cliffy and makes the reader want to know what happens next which will then send us to your novel! It's a great set up and I very much enjoyed it! Thank you so much for agreeing to do the long term review swap!


Author's Response: Oh gosh,I knew your name sounded familiar, but I really did not realize that you were one of the Validators before I got this review. Shows you how much I pay attention, lol! ^_^'

Anyhow, I'm glad you are back to review this now, it's such an honor!! I'm happy you like the overall concept of this, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts as you continue onto the Novel now as well. SO excited to hear that you think this is such an original concept!! I know it's not leading up to be a Dramione, but hopefully you will like my OC when you meet her too. ;)

Thank YOU so much for offering to do this swap, Erica! I am looking very forwards to working with you. =)


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Review #16, by RolledUpInOne Doing the Right Thing

5th September 2014:
Cool story so far, I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! This one-shot is a prequel to my longer Novel "Love, Not War". I hope you will check that story out too. It is under revision right now, but the first 8 or 9 chapters are good to read. I hope to hear from you again sometime!! Thanks so much for taking a moment to review, I really appreciate it!! =)

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Review #17, by nott theodore Doing the Right Thing

3rd September 2014:
Hi Roxi! I'm here for our review swap!

I really enjoyed this story! You captured Draco's character really well in this piece - I know that you're writing a novel with him, but I thought you did a great job of portraying him as someone that's developed from the boy that we see in the sixth book but is still completely recognisable.

The opening of this story was great - those three short, to-the-point sentences had a real impact. It made me instantly interested and intrigued about what Draco was doing, and I thought the way that you then repeated those instructions later on was very effective too, because it showed the way that he was nervous about what he had to do and then determined to try and get it right as well. It's only a small detail but it contributed a lot to your story.

I also thought it was really original to have Draco taking part in the attack on Scrimgeour. I've actually never read a story about that moment or the plan behind the attack, so you've done a great job to find that missing moment and then expand it in this story.

The only tiny piece of CC that I have is I wondered whether Draco would refer to Voldemort as Voldemort rather than the Dark Lord. Not many people seemed to call him by his name and I can't remember any of the Death Eaters doing so. That's probably just me being picky though.

I think my favourite thing about this character was the way that you managed to explore Draco Malfoy's character so well in just 1000 words. It's very impressive! I liked the way that he hesitated here - he's grown up from the boy who confronted Dumbledore at the top of that tower, and seems more ready to face the consequences of his own actions - because it showed how unsure he still is about everything that's going on around him. It made me feel quite sorry for him. there's so much danger for him and his family if he does something wrong but at the same time he wants to do the right thing, which isn't to help Voldemort.

I found it sad that he thought he'd been born to be a Death Eater, but it worked well with the rest of the story and your overall portrayal of him. Draco feels like he's been forced into this, that he has no choice, and he can't see a way out of what he's meant to do. It's a difficult position for anyone, particularly someone so young, and I could see that conflict very clearly here.

I was really pleased to see Draco's decision at the end! I think that he would have made his mother proud with that decision, as long as he was safe afterwards, which he was. And it's great to see him doing something - even though it might seem small in the grand scheme of things - to rebel against the hand that he's been dealt in life.

This was a great story and thank you for the swap!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian!! It is such an honor to have you here, reading one of my pieces!! Thank you so much for the swap offer. This was so great!! =)

I am so glad that you enjoyed the story, and that you liked my characterization of Draco so well. I am so glad I decided to leave the repetition of his orders in there √ʬĬď it almost got cut to get the word count down, lol. So thank for commenting on that. It's always nice to be reassured that you are making the right decisions with your writing. :)

And you're right about the 'Voldemort' thing, of course. I think I had it as 'the Dark Lord' at one point, but then I changed it to cut down the word count. Hey, trying to squeeze Draco Malfoy into just 1,000 words is hard work, haha!! =P

My goal was to get people to feel sympathetic towards Draco, so I'm glad to see that you picked up on that also. He did make the right decision in the end, but his betrayal ends up costing him a great deal once Voldemort finds out about it... If you are ever interested in swapping again, I have a Novel that continues from this one-shot. Would love to possibly hear your thoughts on "Love, Not War" some time as well. Feel free to hit me up for a swap again at any time! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story, and I loved this review!! :D


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Review #18, by EnigmaticEyes16 Doing the Right Thing

2nd September 2014:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap! This was an intriguing little one-shot. And while I know what's going on, I'm clearly missing a bit of back story because of the challenge rules, and because I have yet to read your novel, but clearly I should because now I want to know what happens!

I really like the way you began this with three short and simple sentences, and put them in your summary as well. It really drew me in, making me want to know what it was exactly Draco was planning to do. Although I am a little surprised Voldemort had given Draco a whole year to train before sending him on another mission, that does seem a little too giving of Voldemort. Especially as during that year the war is brewing as tensions are high up until the end of the battle at Hogwarts.

But I did like how Draco started thinking for himself. It's obvious he wants to make everyone proud, his mother, his fellow Death Eaters, Voldemort, but he clearly isn't a fan of all the death that's necessary to put Voldemort in charge, and all the deaths that will continue to occur even after he is in charge. He's still partially in that mental state he was in in HBP, thinking he doesn't have a choice, thinking this is the only way to protect his mother. But then he keeps questioning it, and questioning the cowardice of killing a man in his sleep, until he finally realizes he does have a choice, and a chance to do the right thing in this moment, and he makes it. And I really enjoyed reading it. I'm a going to have to check out your novel after this because I am very curious as to where this decision takes Draco.

So, thanks for offering this swap and good luck in the challenge!


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Review #19, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Doing the Right Thing

1st September 2014:
Surprise!! :D

Haha! I thought it was about time I came and gave this a review!

This is so intriguing, dear, and really gives a lot of insight into Draco's mindset. And I am already loving how it's going to fit in with "Love, Not War"!

I really thought adding Dumbledore's last words to Draco, along with what his Narcissa said about doing the right thing, gave it a nice touch! Those two really gave Draco the push he needed in the right direction!

It really was good thinking on Draco's part to at least make some sort of noise, so that his Aunt and Uncle would at least THINK he had followed his orders! Classic, clever Slytherin for you! :)

All throughout the series, Draco is portrayed as just this horrible person, but he really did have a LOT of influence from his father, and Lucius' way of life, as well as his association with Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

But here, we see Draco get to consciously make a choice here, of whether he wants to follow in his father's footsteps, or do the right thing... and he makes the right choice! And that is simply awesome! ♥

This is yet another of your brilliant pieces that I absolutely adore, and great job in sticking with the word limit!! I only wish I'd been able to do the challenge with you! *hugs*

10/10 (and obviously going in my favorites!) :P

Author's Response: AHH JAYDE!!! This IS a nice surprise!!! (((HUG))) I misses yooouuu! =D

I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece tho. And I do believe that it was a success, seeing how as LNW has at least 3 new fans now, haha!! I'm SO glad that I had time to rewrite everything now, as it gave me the inspiration for this new beginning. The chapter (Under Arrest) of LNW that follows this one-shot is up now too, if you wanna check it out. ;)

Yes, I for one think that Dumbledore's offer to help Draco and give him the Order's protection truly does haunt him still. You're not the first to comment on that aspect of this, lol, so I'm glad I stuck that part in there. Haha, his 'diversion' was great too, wasn't it? =P

Sticking to the word limit was SO HARD!! Like, I wanted to add in a scene at the end where he escapes with Bellatrix, and then Rudolphus ends up getting caught, but there was just NO ROOM for it!! *sadface* ): Oh well. I suppose people will just have to wait and find out what happens from here by reading LNW, haha!! XD

Thank you so much for this surprise review!! I love you so much, dear. And again, I cannot thank you enough for your continued YEARS of support on this story!! You are my hero, Jayde, for reals!!


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Review #20, by Aphoride Doing the Right Thing

29th August 2014:
Hey there! :) Okay, so Draco is one of those characters I find really interesting but have never written because there's already so much written about him, haha, and it's unusual to see something written about him which explores choice, even though it's such an interesting element of his character.

So yeah, basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you asked me to read this because it's a really interesting premise and I probably would have picked it anyway ;)

I really love you portrayed him in this. There was this sense of determination that he was going to prove himself, that he wanted to, almost, which I loved - it really sort of reminded me that he was raised to be a Death Eater, in a way, and he was raised by people who were. I love as well how you then bring in sort of the hesitation and the weakness again, which really reminded me of the tower and made me feel a bit sorry for him. Poor boy - he's really not in the right career, is he? :P He just can't kill anyone. What I liked, though, was that how on the tower he was so cowardly and nervous and afraid, but here he seemed more grown-up and ready to back his own decisions, whatever they were. It seemed more indecision about what to do rather than absolute panic, I thought.

Okay, so I loved, as well, how you touched on Draco's relationships with his parents as well, and sort of contrasted them to each other. How he doesn't really seem too fond of his father (somewhat understandably, imo) but loves his mother and wants to make her proud. It's such a real relationship you made here, in not many words either, and I loved it. The little mention of Dumbledore's belief that he had a choice and had believed in him was so good, too, and I liked how it was sort of in memory of that and for his mother that he makes the choice. It's such a big choice, but you don't overplay it, either, and you leave it on a cliffhanger, as well, just after the choice is made which is very sneaky of you ;) Albeit, a brilliant ending for this piece.

So yeah, I really liked this. Your writing was so lovely, as well - so clean and neat (if that makes sense...) and you had such a lovely flow and balance of internal thoughts and the physical actions.

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

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Review #21, by mymischiefmanaged Doing the Right Thing

28th August 2014:
Review Swap!

This is the first story I've ever read in Draco's point of view, and you absolutely did it justice.

Draco's inclusion on the mission to assassinate the Minister was an incredibly original but also very believable idea. It fits in with what we know about Draco's initiation into the Death Eaters. Of course his duties wouldn't ease off after he failed to kill Dumbledore.

The secret keeper being a death eater is a horrid reminder of what happened to the Potters, driving home the point that nobody is to be trusted in wartime.

I'm so glad you had Draco remembering Dumbledore's words. It shows they really had an effect on him and potentially his decision to make the right choices has an effect on the outcome of the war - who knows what would have happened at Malfoy Manor if he hadn't changed sides here?

I wasn't quite sure whether you were going to have Draco kill him or warn him, but I'm really glad you went for warning him. I've always hoped that he changed sides before the battle was over, and your depiction of his inner conflict trying to decide what to do is very well written and plausible.

This is a brilliant chapter. You manage to fit an actual story into 1000 words which is very impressive, going beyond just showing us a character to show part of his life as well.

I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the swap.

Much love,

Emma x

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Review #22, by GingeredTea Doing the Right Thing

27th August 2014:
This was a really great one-shot (and side-story to a much larger one, it seems). For this reason, you chose to really jump in to the mess of it all, and I admit I love that type of entrance.

You took Draco and really expanded on his character from the series, getting into his head and showing his thought pattern. I appreciate that it was concise and on-point, fitting Draco's count-down and 'simple' directions. Your flow, characterization, dialogue, thoughts, and descriptions all fit well with the mood and length of your story.

I loved it. :)

Thank you for the great read - we should do this again sometime so I can figure out what happens in bigger story.

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Review #23, by crestwood Doing the Right Thing

26th August 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here with your requested review!

First of all, I can't believe you got this to be exactly 1,000 words. That must have been so difficult and meticulous.

I was pulled into this story immediately - which is a good thing since it is so short. Starting it with that mantra, 'Get in. Cause a diversion. Then get out of the way' was genius. The repetition of it throughout showed just how desperate Draco is to succeed this time around, which makes sense considering his life is on the line.

Draco's thoughts about "doing the right thing" and what his mother would want are so great to read. They feel really natural and typical of Draco's character. I always prefer this kind of Draco; contemplative, always second-guessing what he is supposed to be doing.

His thoughts about "being born a Death Eater" are actually kind of sad to read. It's terrible that he feels that he has no choice. Indeed, he has been put in the kind of position where he was raised to become one thing and it'd be exceedingly difficult to turn back now. It almost reminds me of Harry's thoughts in Deathly Hallows when he was feeling that Dumbledore had raised him for one singular purpose. Neither one of them was ever given very many chances to change their mind. Both are held to what they have to do at the expense of others. Draco; at the expense of himself and his family. Harry; at the expense of, well, everyone. That's just a connection I made.

I'm glad that Draco decided to warn Scrimgeour in the end. Hopefully this is the beginning of his turning over a new leaf. It'd be awesome to see Draco contribute more than just refusing to identify the Trio at Malfoy Manor to the defeat of Voldemort. I imagine he wouldn't feel too much actual allegiance to the man.

I suppose all of the editing you must have done to ensure that this story ended up being exactly a thousand words also helped to eliminate any typos or grammatical mistakes, because there were none at all. Great job with this. I'm going to actually add Love, Not War to my Reading List in order to see more of this Draco that you've written here. Thank you for your request!

Author's Response: "you got this to be exactly 1,000 words. That must have been so difficult and meticulous." - OMGosh, you have NO idea exactly how right you are about that, haha!! =P

A lot of people have commented on how this pulls you in right from the very beginning, actually. I confess that I went over and over it in my head how to begin this, and I finally decided on that first sentence. I am glad to know now that this was such a good choice. I almost took out the repetition of the orders tho, cuz I went over 1000 words at one point. But I am glad that I kept this in there now too...

Wow, you have brought up a rather interesting point there. I guess I never really thought about how Harry and Draco's positions were actually quite similar in this. That's deep, lol! I'm glad you made that connection though! =)

Woot!! I am SO HAPPY to see that you are adding my Novel to your reading list now too!! Yay, yay, YAY!!! OMGosh, I cannot WAIT to see what you think of the rest of the story as well. I shall be eagerly awaiting you thoughts, especially on the chapter that I wrote as a follow-up to this one-shot!! Which is #7: Under Arrest, if you're interested. ;)

Thank you SOO much for such an awesome review. I am very glad that you liked it, and I truly do hope to hear from you again SOON, haha!! I can always come back anytime and re-request if you need me to. You reviews are lovely, dear. You have put a huge smile om my face today, thank you again! =D

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Review #24, by Ribbons Doing the Right Thing

23rd August 2014:

So, I'd like to first say that you're fiddling around here with a VERY good idea with TONS of potential and I need more.

One-shots are dangerous because it's easy to cut corners with them. There are lots of different types of story too: Short and powerful, long and detailed, cliff ending, epic and eloquent ending - there are as many different ways you can write a one-shot as there are to eat pudding, but just because there are different styles and it's short doesn't mean you can skimp on it.

Here's an example: the author (I don't mean you) is tired of writing, so they make some dwindling, powerless ending that is supposed to be atmospheric but is actually just lazy. This is a problem that I as well as everyone else, has.

One-shots need to be potent. Size doesn't mean that it's any less emotional, tough, elegant or touching than a Novel or Novella. I actually think that the shorter the story the more difficult it is, because there's no time to build characters, you have to appreciate them right away. It shouldn't feel like some random chapter either, I think they should have a beginning middle and an end and either leave the reader feeling wholly satisfied or yearning for more. No in between lukewarm nonsense.

What can I say? My inner nit-picky perfectionist side comes out when I read one-shots, mostly because I hold them to different standard than other story lengths, but because they are AN ART!

Short stories really are incredible.

I'm not going to give you specific advice on your story, mostly because I think that you know what applies to it, and YOU know what it needs more I do. Think about what I've said and then read it and see what comes to mind and what ideas and changes you see.

I actually really liked this one-shot, but there is always, ALWAYS room for improvement, even in the most brilliant works.

Sorry if this felt like an unhelpful and vague attempt at a review, your story really made me think in a different way.

Much love,


Author's Response: Haha, well if you really want more, there is a Novel that follows this one-shot: "Love, Not War" is the title!! ;)

I do see what you mean about One-Shot, and I agree with you for the most part. This particular one, however, HAD to be 1000 words EXACTLY for a challenge, so there wasn't much more that I could add to the ending without taking something else away...I just wrote this as a missing moment, a prelude of sorts, to my Novel. So it was intended to be incomplete and eave the reader wanting MORE, haha!! =P

No need to apologize hun, this review was just fine! I am glad to know that I could cause you to think so deeply, lol! Feel free to check out "Love, Not War" anytime if you really wanna know where this story goes from here. I hope to hear from you again!! :D

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Review #25, by milominderbinder Doing the Right Thing

22nd August 2014:
Hiya! Here for our review swap!

I really enjoyed reading this! I don't read a lot
of Draco stories - mostly because they usually
have pairings I don't like, haha - but I'm glad I
read this one. I think you got Draco's
characterisation spot on.

I love how you got right to the point at the very
beginning. Starting with those three short,
fragmented sentences - his orders - really set the
tone of urgency for the story, and showed the
importance of the mission. It was a great way to
start as it really draws the reader in and has
them feeling that tense atmosphere from the very

I'm also so impressed you managed to write this in
exactly 1000 words! I wrote an exactly 500 words
story and it almost killed me, it's so hard to cut
it down to the exact right amount! So yeah extreme
kudos there.

My favourite quotes were:

Get in, cause a distraction, then get out of
the way. I repeated my orders to myself again.

^I love the repetition of his orders, it really
gives an insight into his mind and how focused he
is at the start here.

Killing a man in his sleep? Where was the
honor in that? There was none.

^We rarely get to see a moral side of Draco in
canon but there is always the sense that he DOES
have these moral qualms so I think it's really in
character for him to think like this, and I really
liked it.

I had been predestined for this life before I
was conceived. I was born a Death Eater, and I
should die as one as well.

^I love stories which explore the idea of fate and
people going against what should be their 'fate'.
It's always so powerful because it shows that at
the basis of everything is personal choice, even
if that choice is incredibly hard to make, and
that's something I really strongly believe in. I
loved how you used that theme here.

You have about one minute to prepare yourself,

^I loved this ending! I think it ended at the
perfect moment. We get to see Draco's decision to
warn the minister, without seeing the
consequences. Because it's not about what happens
next, it's about him making that choice, no matter
what the outcome. Even though it ends suddenly
and we don't know what happens next, it's not
really a cliffhanger, because we've had resolution
on Draco's choice and seen him make the right
decision, which is incredibly lovely to read.

So yeah, I thought this story was really good!
Well done, and thanks for the swap!


Author's Response: Haha, I may be a bit biased about that whole Draco-pairing statement, as I have only ever seen him with Roxi, lol!! But anyways, I do know what you mean there. If you ever DO wanna know more about where Draco's story goes from here, however, then I encourage you to check out my Novel: :Love, Not War: also. =)

Hitting the 1000 word mark, and hitting it perfectly was SOOO hard!!! There was SO MUCH more that I wanted to add in here, and then I wanted the ending to be longer to show that Rudolphus was captured too. But, alas, there was just not enough space to allow all that, haha. XD

So I basically agree with everything you just said about people going against their supposed "fate". This one particular choice definitely causes Draco quite a bit of grief later on down the road tho. If you do decide to read the Novel, you will see the outcome of this mission first-hand. But it also ends up being his salvation, as he ends up getting a second-chance to change himself by the end of everything. You'll just have to read on if you wanna know anything more that that tho, haha!! ;)

I would love to review-swap with you again some time, if you are interested. Thank so much for the great read, and again for this wonderful review. I love it when people point out what their favorite moments in my stories are!! (:


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