Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
111 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Holly Piece #25

12th April 2016:
woah, this story keeps getting better and better! gotta say I did not see that coming :) I really hope Roxanne gets there in time for Louis, I kinda like him. Plus finally, I've not liked Daniel for ages! The way he manipulated Roxanne into feeling guilty for something that wasn't actually that horrific (plus everyone else treating her badly too!) made him really annoying. In your face Fred! Unless he's in on it too...

Author's Response: Hi Holly!

Ah, thank you so much for still reading and reviewing this story, it means so much to know that people are following it and enjoying it - and to say that it's improving, too! I'm really glad you didn't see the twist coming here, it's something I've had planned for SO long and I wanted people to be surprised by it :)

Haha, your instincts might have been quite good, then - he definitely didn't treat Roxanne very well over what happened with Paul, and it's caused her a lot of problems. As for everything else, I couldn't possibly comment yet, but another chapter has just gone up for you to enjoy!

Thank you for stopping by to review! ♥


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Review #2, by Aphoride Piece #12

9th March 2016:
Hey Sian! :) Dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry this is so late - my contact lenses dried out yesterday evening so I couldn't use my laptop any more (boo eyes :P) and then I was busy with uni stuff all day today, but I'm here now! :D

I love how this is progressing, how there are little things coming out of it which seem so significant, but who knows? Roxy's theory seems like it could be right, like she could be onto something, but I dunno... you wouldn't reveal it this early, would you? Hm... you're making me very suspicious in this story :P But at the moment, it seems like the best and most likely theory, if a little bit too obvious... maybe? ;)

Can I just say as well, how glad I am that Jane is fine? Like, I was really half-expecting her to turn up dead or to be really ill or something, but not to be being evicted - which, tbh, was something of a relief compared to what I was thinking :P It's still so awful, though, that she's lost her job and can't really go back to her family or get much support from them it seems, and how she sort of has to depend on Roxy for support - it can be so hard and so upsetting for people to feel like they can't manage things :( But I kinda like that her life (and Roxy's, to an extent) is really hard, because it's so real, that things like getting a good job and finding somewhere decent to live which doesn't take all of your money can be so, so difficult and painful. It just, for me, adds a whole layer of realism to this which I love so much, because in other things it's not really there :)

And I love how Roxy just immediately takes her in, and how Jane feels she has to repay her somehow, so tidies and cleans (- Jane can be my roommate any day :P) instead of paying rent. They have such a great friendship and it's so so lovely to see that being an important relationship in a story since it's often left out of fic :)

Richard! No! I can't believe Richard's guilty - frankly, he seemed too spaced to be guilty :P But no, I hope nothing bad happens to him. Speaking of which, that beginning section, with the two people talking about Rhiannon Griffiths (I assume?) is just so scary and so creepy. Omigosh, she's really not very safe. The way you wrote it, too, with just the dialogue and little description was so good - it really kinda added to the whole shadowy feel of whoever they are.

I'm so excited for Roxy that she has her new theory about the potions, and she's got a break with the interview (and how Miranda got shouted at by Higgins, haha :P She deserved it!). I'm pretty sure it won't last too long, but it's nice for her to have a break at some point :P

Also, all of your details in this are so lovely. Really, really good. Every thing in this seems so carefully thought-out and like its placed exactly where it should be, you know? It's all the little things in this which make it come alive too: which make the creepiness at the beginning, the shock which comes through from Richard's phonecall and how miserable he seems, and Jane's misery and gratefulness when Roxy insists she stays with her.

Your writing is so good, though, but I don't think you need me to tell you this again - pretty sure I've said it before :P But it is. Like, I love how easily you blend action and multiple scenes into one chapter - I struggle with that so bad and you make it look so easy! I'm so jealous ;) Plus, your dialogue and description are always so good and so right for the characters and the situation - everything is so evocative in this, whatever it is, and you just pull every emotion and every sense out of every word. It's so great and really, I need to read more of your writing, so try not to get too swamped at uni ;)

I'm so so glad we swapped so I could stop by here again - I've definitely got to not leave it so long next time! :)

Aph xx

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybe Piece #3

5th March 2016:
Here again with prize review #3 and to support the HPFF Review-A-Thon.

I'm so proud of Roxanne for her article - that's so exciting! Thank goodness for Andy though. Her other coworkers are terrible. Well, Violet isn't as bad as Miranda, I suppose. The press conference was intriguing. They're definitely still hiding something (or maybe multiple somethings) but at least they revealed they have a suspect or two, and our girl Roxanne asked an excellent question. Yay!

It seems to me that despite her frustration at work, Roxanne is actually a talented and hard working reporter, and the others (most of them) are kind of sleazy. At least, that's the impression I got when they went to the pub. I liked that you showed Roxanne's discomfort with the industry's brusque attitude toward traumatic incidents. It's that vulnerable side of her I asked about in chapter 1. Nice! Plus, it separates her from the pack in the reader's eyes, so we know why she really is the one that deserves to have the best story. I'm rooting for her!

I didn't get to find out more about Daniel, but then again it wouldn't really have fit, would it?

excellent job again! I hope to come back soon for chapter 4.
xoxo Renee

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Review #4, by MuggleMaybe Piece #2

5th March 2016:
I'm back for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with prize review #2.

You know how I said it was hard to review the plot in chapter one? Well, I found the plot! :D So much happens in this chapter, it read at such a fast pace because I was so excited about everything going on.

Drunk apparation is not a good idea Roxanne! On the other hand, it shows that she's willing to take a risk, a could quality for someone trying to solve a mystery.

The scene with the journalists was interesting, especially when Roxanne asked a question. I wasn't expecting that. And Richard is an intriguing character. On the other hand, I don't think I trust the lady Hit Wizard that did the interview. I'm keeping an eye on her.

And then, Daniel. I wonder what happened?? I really thought he wasn't going to be there, but you sneaked him in right under my nose, and I am absolutely dying to know the backstory there! I'm sad he didn't agree to talk to her. She deserves that much, I'm sure. He'll be back though, I'm sue of it. I just don't know what that will mean for Roxanne.

I'm thoroughly enjoying this - looking forward to chapter 3.
xoxo Renee

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Review #5, by MuggleMaybe Piece #1

5th March 2016:
Hi Sian! I'm here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with the first of your 4 prize reviews.

I know you said something written in 2015 or later - I hope this counts. I love mysteries, and I love Roxanne, so I simply couldn't help but read this when I saw it at the top of your AP.

It's good, really good.

As far as character goes, I think you've given a strong start to Roxanne. Her voice is pragmatic and straightforward, which makes sense for a journalist. I might like to see just a touch more vulnerability (as opposed to irritation) from her now and then, but as this is only chapter one you have plenty of time to do that.
I am *very* curious about the fallout between her and Fred.

Where plot is concerned, it's a bit hard to say this early on, obviously. But I see a number of potentials conflicts you can use, so that's a great sign.

Looking forward to chapter 2!
xoxo Renee

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Review #6, by Ohpl Piece #24

8th February 2016:
I'm still reading this story and enjoying it. Can't wait for your next update.

Author's Response: Hi! Ah, it's lovely to see that you're still reading and enjoying this story - it means so much to know people are still following it, in spite of my shoddy updating skills (sorry for that!). I'm hoping to have a new chapter up in the next few weeks :) Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Regan Piece #24

7th February 2016:
Oh Roxy---you are in too deep!

Great chapter, compelling and tight. It's fun to see all the plot strings come together.
For so long Roxy has been going solo but now she's finally getting some (much needed) support and back up. Such a transition is really cool to read about.
Also, thanks of the cliff hanger! Eep and Ahhhs! So Roxy has a target on her back!
Super excited to see how it all pans out! -R

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry for the delay in replying to this!

Roxy is definitely in this very deep... she's got a lot going on and is really out of her depth on this, even if she doesn't want to recognise that. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, though - I really wasn't sure on this one, but it's great to hear you liked it! I'm working on updates and hopefully there'll be a new chapter up in the next few weeks! :) Thank you for a lovely review!


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Review #8, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #11

29th December 2015:
Hi again!

I was a bit confused by the opening scene, to be honest. I couldn't tell why everyone rushed for the doors as soon as Griffths fell. I wondered if people thought she'd been taken down by Dark Magic or something-- that was the only reason I could see for everyone fleeing. I hate to say it, but I feel like sports crowds are pretty enthralled by bad injuries. Everyone has to stand up and try to see through the mess of doctors and wonder about what's wrong and all that. And then the people who support the injured player's team are moaning about the setback, and the people who are against that team are secretly a little pleased. And Quidditch is a dangerous sport, with Bludgers and all, so injuries have got to happen all that time. I understand that this was an injury of a different magnitude, but I find it hard to believe the game would just be over, and the fans would pour out. They'd paid money for their tickets, after all. I feel like the scene might have made more sense if there was some formal announcement over the loudspeakers about temporarily suspending the game, something to indicate that there will be a big enough delay for people to get bored and go home. That, or maybe everyone stays, but Roxanne is so upset that Louis decides to take her home and they're the only two that leave.

Moving on, though, I LOVED the brief mention of Tinsworth. For some reason I'm constantly curious about the odd intersection of Muggles of wizards-- there must be so many interesting hybrid moments, like the ones in the town you described, and I find them fascinating. I know I've written about a shop that caters to both Muggles and wizards before, and I really like your take on it too. Small moment, but an exciting one for me!

My hatred of Miranda is just so... complete. You've really made her into a piece of work. I squirm so much whenever she's talking, and when Roxanne finally got a small strike back at her, I was thrilled. I was a little surprised at Violet's role in that section of the story though. At times she seems to be totally separate from the Miranda/Roxanne tiffs, and just there for entertainment. At other times, though, she seems to be genuinely on Roxanne's side. I have trouble figuring out why she could be rooting for Roxanne while still sitting back and watching the poor girl get so much abuse. I can see how someone who is truly there listening just for the fun of it could possibly root for the underdog while still wanting to see all the drama, but I still just get this sense that she really is sympathetic of Rose in a way beyond wanting the underdog to win in a battle.

So, so excited to finally hear more about the Jane mystery. You've been stringing it out for so long! Not to mention, I'm ready to learn more about Fred too, and maybe some more progress with Daniel... I really applaud you for juggling so many plot threads at once. You've done an admirable job. Wasn't Fred involved in some illegal potion mention a couple chapters back? Could that be linked to the newer illegal potions mentioned in this chapter? Maybe this is all even more entangled than I ever thought...

Great job on this chapter, nothing new there! Gonna do my darndest to get more caught up!

Author's Response: Hello!

Again, an exceptionally good point :P I feel like sometimes I really need someone to sound all these plot points off before I start writing it, because you're the first reader/reviewer to even mention that. I think you're right in thinking that it's more normal for people to be craning to get a view of the scene, but I kind of imagined it as people panicking about what was happening since there was no reason for it to happen - it was a bit different than just an injury. I'll definitely review that and try and edit the reactions to make more sense when I get chance to go through this story again.

Tinsworth was really fun to write about! It wasn't something I'd really planned to include, but one of those details that came to me when I was writing. I always enjoy including them because I find those details so interesting, but I do worry that other people won't. Now I want to read your story too!

Miranda is just... ugh. I don't think I've ever created a character that I've disliked as much. She's a bit like Umbridge, I guess, and I would be lying if I said that she isn't partly inspired by someone I know, as well. I don't think Violet is really rooting for Roxanne, exactly - more that she does enjoy her entertainment from their tiffs, but at times sometimes she thinks that Miranda goes too far. She's in a position where she's not afraid of stepping in and saying something, but a lot of the time she chooses not to so that she can have an easier life.

Juggling all of the different plotlines is something I've actually been really worried about! When I first began the planning for the story, Jane was spending a year in Australia for some unknown reason, and half of the side-plots didn't exist in any form, so I'm glad that there's enough happening in the story to keep you interested and that it doesn't feel like something one-dimensional.

I've said this each time now, but I do genuinely mean it: thank you so much for supporting this story and leaving such thoughtful and detailed reviews. It means a lot to me that anyone would take the time to do that and it's so encouraging to think that someone's still reading and enjoying this. Thank you so, SO much for these fantastic reviews! ♥


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Review #9, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #10

28th December 2015:
Aagh, sorry for being such an erratic reader. Would really like to make more of a dent in this story!

First off, maybe this is just an example of me being slow, but I feel like I'm only just beginning to appreciate how cool it is that this is a story about a murder mystery from a journalist's perspective. Don't laugh! I mean, obviously I know that that's what this is about. But it's just a unique place to be in for this kind of story. I've read plenty of detective novels before (I really really like this one set of companion novels by Tana French, I can't recommend them highly enough if you're into murder mysteries) but they're always from the point of view of the person assigned to solve the case. Here, we're getting it all from someone who also wants to solve the case, but who also is getting extremely little information from the actual people who know the case's details. You've done such a nice job with moving the story forward even though Roxanne is privy to so little on the murders. I'll chalk this "revelation" up to the fact that I'm returning to this story for the first time in two months.

I hate Miranda so much! At least villains are complex and interesting... she is just awful. (Not to say she's totally one dimensional! She's just, you know, a more minor but also more immediate foe than the real bad guys in the story) I was so mad when I read the line about her grabbing Roxanne's notes and then not letting Roxanne touch hers. You've really picked out some telling details to reveal her true colors.

I was intrigued about the moment where Roxanne mentioned that Miranda seemed disinterested in the case, and that such an attitude was out of character. For a moment I was confused, but then I thought: Okay, she must be putting on a show of disinterest for Roxanne, and trying to lead her on the wrong track, so that Miranda can pounce on some real information and keep it to herself in order to get all the glory. But then it was even worse than I expected when she got Roxanne thrown off the story! God, I was so upset.

I do find it a little strange that Miranda's the only one on both stories now, though. You'd think that now that the two biggest stories of the year are going full force, Higgins would at least replace Roxanne with someone else. I'd imagine he'd choose his true top writer and put him or her on it.

There was one image that was an unexpected and subtle bit of beautiful imagery: "as he folds his long limbs into his tall chair, I get the distinct impression of a spider curling up in its web."

I liked that you broke up the intenseness of the case and the dreadful surprise of Roxanne being thrown off the story with a more light-hearted Quidditch match. You wrote it really well, I was just about as on the edge of my seat as the characters. I liked how you wove in bits of backstory about the things, like the Cannons' one good player or the expectations for the game-- they all fit in fluidly with the actual action. And you even ended the chapter on a dramatic note that was unrelated to the main plot! You always seem to sneak something in there. ;) Well done.

I guess the real question now is what's going to happen to the case, in Roxanne's eyes, now that she's been formally removed from her role in it. I can only imagine, given that I'm not even halfway through the posted chapters, that she's going to get back in somehow-- and in a fashion that gets her right in the heat of things. Wouldn't want to read twenty chapters of her getting tiny snippets of information about nothing, would we? No, I feel like she's either going to get back on the story itself, by somehow ousting Miranda or getting a leg up from someone like Richard, or that she's going to find another way into the case. Something will happen with Daniel, maybe? That could be an interesting angle. That's kind of my hope, but, given that Roxanne is a journalist and a good deal of this story is invested in her journalistic career, my bet will be that she finds her way onto the story again. Can't wait to find out!

All in all, this was another great chapter, no surprise there. As always, the characters have been a joy; a good plot is one thing, and you definitely have that, but there's no way I would still be here if I weren't deeply invested in the characters as well. (Speaking of characters, still waiting to find out about Jane!!) Looking forward to digging even deeper into the story. I'll be back soon!

Author's Response: Ah, is it strange that I'm actually excited to be replying to this in a sort of reasonable time frame, since it's only a couple of days since you left it? :P

Ooh, I'll definitely have to check those books out - they sound really good, and I love a good detective story! I'm really pleased that you like the way that we get a very different perspective on this story with Roxanne being a journalist rather than a detective in the centre of the case; I've read a couple of stories and novels with private detectives and such who haven't been entirely privy to the police investigation, but none with a journalist trying to solve the mystery, so I'm glad that it seems unique but makes sense at the same time!

Miranda is really awful and horrible. She's seen Roxanne as a threat since she really joined the paper and hasn't let up in her campaign against her since then... but at the same time she's a very clever and shrewd woman and knows how to get what she wants from life, whether that's to date popular guys or, in this case, get Roxy thrown off the story.

That is actually a really good point. Ugh, I hate how many plot holes appear in this story without me even noticing them, but thank you so much for pointing them out!

This chapter was actually one I was really looking forward to writing when I planned out the story. Even though I've never written a Quidditch match before and I was nervous about writing it, the whole scene was fun to write and I liked including Louis and Dom here, and the little details about the match too.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm not sure if you realise how grateful I am or how fantastic a reviewer you really are, but thank you so much for supporting this story and taking the time to leave these reviews!


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Review #10, by StarFeather Piece #7

22nd December 2015:
Hi, Sian. Happy Birthday! (I sent a birthday message picture via twitter.)

I felt very comfy to be back to your story after reading Robert Galbraith's crime novel III, which is a great story but has so much tensed scenes. Your each word is music. I really respect your flow of words.

Two thoughts popped in my mind in this chapter.

1.What I'd like to tell you reading this story,is that I remembered how Galbraith(J.K.Rowling) portrayed the characters around the main character of the crime novel in her story. She described relationship between the main character, Cormoran and Cormoran Strike's friends or the culprits. You also set the episode of Roxy's cousins and her boyfriend, Daniel to describe the situation around the main character.

2.Just the thought popped up, I wonder it's one of style when the author writes the detective story that the main character suffers from unrequited love at the same time when she or he has to solve the mystery. Just the idea hit upon when I read the part Roxy remembered her bitter sweet memory of Daniel.

Ah! Roxy got closer to Simon Upton! I wish she will be able to find the solution to the case and she can be a star of the newspaper. And another victim? why?

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny, thank you for the birthday review! It's really sweet of you to stop by and leave me this :)

I'm so glad that you liked the story and that it was easy for you to get back into it - even after reading the latest Galbraith novel (which I still haven't read - you'll have to let me know what it's like!)

Wow, I can't even believe that my writing is being mentioned in the same sentence as JK Rowling's, especially as a positive comparison, because it's so complimentary and I'm just in awe. I don't even know what to say except thank you and I'm so glad that you like it!

Roxy certainly got closer to finding some more out about the case in this chapter and she'll continue to do so through the course of the story. If you get chance to keep reading this story you'll find out more about the next victim, too.

Thank you so much for stopping by to leave me this wonderful review!


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Review #11, by Randomcships Piece #23

11th December 2015:
Congrats for the milestone, you deserve it after putting so much effort into a great story and thanks so much for the shoutout. Good on Louis for speaking up and I hope nothing bad happens to him. I feel like the dismissal of Roxanne is giving more strength to Miranda as a possible suspect, what she stands to gain from this all is quite unclear, unless she also takes the potion. I feel like the attention towards Roxanne from the dealers will result in an attempt on her life or something equally dramatic. Great chapter and I look forward to the next.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, that's so sweet! I know I'm a bit (a lot) behind on responding to reviews (I'm working on clearing them all before the New Year, if possible) but I wanted you to know I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave a review when you read!

It was really difficult for Louis to speak up, but at this point he's really in a situation where he doesn't have much to lose. Whether or not Miranda is a possible suspect or if Louis's going to be okay, I can't really say, of course :P But there will definitely be more drama and unravelling coming soon!

Thank you again for all your lovely thoughts and support for this story!


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Review #12, by Randomcships Piece #22

2nd December 2015:
I loved how just when I thought I was getting at the suspects, the mystery unfolds even more and there are so many different characters and suspects and victims, that I honestly don't know who's behind all of it. I feel like it could be Paul or Daniel, Fred or even Charlie or (more likely) Miranda, which could be why she wanted Roxanne off the story. I love how you juggle the plots and subplots with the relationships and the family drama's and unique takes on the characters. With the way Fred keeps going his tanty over Roxy getting with Daniel, I wouldn't be surprised if he was in love with him and the way you weave it all together is great. I suspect Louis is in hospital because he took some of the drug or was targeted due to his connection with Roxy, which seems unlikely due to there being so many people Roxy is closer to. Looking forward to meeting Jess and I loved that you included Harry. Can't wait for your next update :)

Author's Response: Hehehe, I won't lie, I'm actually pretty happy that you're confused by this right now! That's exactly what I wanted to happen; there are a lot of threads to this mystery and there's a lot still to be unravelled. You're right in thinking that there are a lot of people who could be suspected, although whether they all should be or not, I couldn't possibly say...

I'm so happy you think that I'm doing a good job of juggling all the different plots and subplots! It's difficult because this is the first novel I've written and there's really so much going on that it's sometimes a bit overwhelming - I always worry people will get bored of one part of the storyline. It's so reassuring to know that you're enjoying the different plots and subplots!

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #13, by Ohpl Piece #22

30th November 2015:
Loved the chapter. Love the story as a whole. Can't wait for your next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you're still enjoying this story!

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Review #14, by Ohpl Piece #20

12th November 2015:
I love this story. It was terrific to have two updates so quickly.Can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: I'm definitely working on updating a lot more quickly recently - life is settling into much more of a routine which definitely helps. I did miss a week, but if you're looking for updates, try checking on Wednesdays and I'll try and have a new chapter up then! ;)

I'm so pleased you're enjoying this story and thank you for your support!


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Review #15, by StarFeather Piece #6

5th November 2015:
Hi, Sian. I saw your update status for Jigsaw, so I came back here.
 
Wow, in your magical world, they use Muggle mobile phone, it’s clever!

When I read these parts, “ so magical London is a little quieter, with the children back at school and the majority of tourists returning to warmer climes,”
I remembered when I visited Scotland like a picture I took, I saw some school children in their uniform.

Oh, was Simon Upton released without charge? So both Hitwizards and Aurors couldn’t find enough evidence to send him to Azkaban.

I feel pity for Roxanne, I wish she won’t be back to the previous boring articles.

Though there’re lots of your splendid descriptions, I like this sentence, too!! "Gringotts rises up ahead of me, the snowy white like peaks of mountains, almost disappearing into the haze of warm sunlight, dominating the wizarding skyline.”

And the next paragraphs are very intriguing. What happened to Jane? Is she missing?

I also like the description of Belby’s. We have the similar second hand book shops in my country, I could imagine how the bookshop was like.

I really like the episode why Roxanne became a journalist, “I’ve spent so many of my days off in here that they know me by name now,.. it’s not knowledge I’m searching for, but stories-even the faded inscriptions written inside a front cover tell a tale. My passion for stories is the real reason I became a journalist,”

And wow,wow, she met Daniel at her favorite bookshop, what a situation! After her letter, how would he react? With much expectation, we wait for his next move. And he nods! Even he suggested somewhere on Diagon Alley, there’s still hope they can go back together.

Oh, Daniel understands her well. “I always said that Higgins was an idiot for not giving you a bigger story before.” He cares about her.

“it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.” Reading this part, I nodded, too, wishing he would forgive her.

Her thought, “Upton possibly had for harming Armstrong is the recent promotion they were both competing for, which the latter eventually attained,” is correct but why did she feel a bit flimsy?

“I can see the glint in his eye that makes it clear he’s just thought of an idea, a sliver of the mystery becoming clearer to him as he talks it through with me.” This sentence is inviting us to the next chapters of your story. We wish Roxanne and Daniel will get together and solve the case.

When she told Daniel that she still did love him, I wished “Believe her!” And finally, he said, “I believe you.” Yes! But he said later, “I need time, Roxy,” oh again? No! If I were Daniel, I would forgive her. Oh, poor Roxy, she kept the tears from appearing in her eyes.

Sian, I really like how you ended this chapter. They will go to the spot where Armstong was found. I hope I’ll be able to be back to the next chapter, soon!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi again, Kenny!

I'm so glad you like the idea of the magical phones - I always worry about how readers will react to them because the technology is normally something people have very definite head canons about, so it's great that you like the idea. And I'm so pleased that the descriptions here helped you to remember your own experiences too, that means they seem realistic at least!

There's definitely not enough evidence to charge Simon Upton with anything yet, but I don't think the ordeal is quite over for him, either...

I'm really pleased you liked the scene with Daniel and Roxanne meeting in the bookshop and their interactions with each other. They're in a really strange situation right now and it's interesting to write the meetings and conversations between them.

I'm really glad you liked the ending of this chapter too, and that you enjoyed this and want to read on. Thank you for all the time you take to come and leave a lovely review on this story, I really appreciate your encouragement and support!


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Review #16, by cookies Piece #18

2nd November 2015:
Hi, i'm a new reader and i'm really really enjoying this story (perhaps the fact that i stayed up till like 4am reading up to this far might be some indication)

I like the way you write the Weasley family, and how you've characterised everyone so well and also how not everyone is introduced to in one go, characters come and go in a natural setting. I also love the tension between Roxanne, Fred, James and Lily, I applaud you for going against fanfic convention which is that everyone in the Wotter clan are always getting on wonderfully with each other. I'm particularly curious about Fred, and wonder if what ever he's getting up to is related to the potion problems. I feel like he's being extremely unreasonable and that Roxanne should stop feeling bad, she made a mistake but she's apologized for it and that should be the end of that especially since Fred's not even that involved.

I think it also shows how good you are at writing mystery in that i have no clue what's going to happen next! I like the little connections you've made, and it's clear you've planned the fic well so it's going to be great to finally know who's behind everything.

It was a bit harsh for Higgins to fire Roxanne like that but Miranda probably had some hand in it, poor Roxy, and poor Jane too but i admire Jane's spirit and think how her accounting training is actually quite funny- i would never have imagined her to take up something like that, ha! I like how you've emphasized on Roxanne's constant underlying feelings of wanting to do something that will make her just as successful as her cousins and parents and also the want to be independent. I really do hope Roxanne is the one to solve the mystery in the end, i'm not sure how she'll do that before the hit wizards but then again you've suggested that some ministry infiltration might be going on so maybe Roxanne will really take things into her own hands...

So so curious to find out what's going on with Richard too, i hope Roxanne pays him a visit some how. I love the supporting characters in the story like Vicky and her nail polish and Jenson and his creepiness and all the other journalists. Also love Al's story and his interest in history, very original! This review is much longer than i thought it'd be but it's probably because i was rambling for nearly all of it xD

Anyway update soon :)

Author's Response: Hi cookies! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this wonderful review (I've had quite a backlog lately, but I'm working on getting up-to-date so I can keep updating the story). You have no idea how much it means to me that you stopped to leave these fantastic comments, and the fact that you stayed up so late to read my story is so exciting!

I'm really pleased you like the Weasleys! I'm always worried about writing these characters - especially the ones that have been so popular in fanfiction - and it's great that you like my characterisation of them. I didn't want to conform with all the clichés in this story and tried to portray things more realistically. Fred is definitely being unreasonable with Roxy and there may or may not be something else going on here...

I'm so glad that you like the way I'm writing the mystery and that you don't know what's going to happen next! Before this novel, I'd only written a short story mystery so it's fantastic that I'm doing it well, since I didn't want people to know what was happening from the beginning.

Higgins definitely was quite harsh to fire Roxanne the way he did, but you're right in thinking that Miranda probably had some hand in it.

Roxy really does want to make her family proud and she feels quite inferior to other people in her family, even if they're not trying to make her feel that way, and she's really lacking in self-confidence. I think she has improved and grown quite a bit since the start of the story but at the same time, she's suffered quite a few knocks that have set her back too. As to whether she'll be the one to solve the mystery, I think you'll just have to wait and see...

I'm so glad you like the characters here and all the little plots going on as well. Thank you so, so much for stopping to leave such a detailed and thoughtful review, because it's so encouraging and I really appreciate it ♥


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Review #17, by StarFeather Piece #5

18th October 2015:
Hi, Sian!

Thank you for leaving kind review the other day. As you’ve written below, the mystery of Daniel and Fred have finally been revealed.
The House of Horrors is REAL. Jealousy makes people go mad.

The description of London skyline is superb! I imagined how it was like remembering that of Tokyo. We have the very same view: forest of tall buildings and pedestrians below look like ants indeed.

In the next paragraph, the culprit entered finally drinking expensive water of life, whiskey. I wondered what whiskey he was drinking. (I recommend him Yamazaki, Japanese expensive whiskey.) Then two men appeared from the green flames. Are they Hit Wizards? He knew who they were, glancing at them, I guess they may be members of Potter or Wealsey.

The reason why Roxanne and Daniel broke up was revealed, too. I could understand their complicated relationship. The man was too busy to spare time for his girlfriend and the woman was unhappy for his long absence. I had hunch that it would be more difficult for her to get back their previous relationship when Lily entered.

At the end, please let me mention your wonderful poetic expression. I’m very impressed by your work again. I love these sentences: the tiny ember of hope that I thought was extinguished the last time that I saw him reignites, a chain of maybes and what ifs floating through my mind.

I hope I can be back to the next chapter soon!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

I'm really glad that you liked the description of the London skyline! I'd love to go to Tokyo and see the city too!

I don't actually know much about whiskey, to be honest, but I suspect it would be a Scottish or Irish one if he's drinking it here :P I can't possibly say who the two men were, but you'll find out much more about it in later chapters.

I'm glad you could understand the reasons that Roxanne and Daniel broke up and you liked the explanation of what happened between them! And thank you so much for your lovely compliments and great review!


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Review #18, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #9

17th October 2015:
Wow, I'm sorry for my abrupt disappearance. Here I am, reviewing your last chapter and saying that I really look forward to reading each new chapter of this and that I can't stop thinking about it and then... I disappear. Truly, it had nothing to do with the story. :P I just got slammed when I went back to school and kind of faded away for awhile. But I'm going to do my best to fade back in now. And the first thing I'm doing on my way back in is returning to Jigsaw!

So anyway, here I am again. I love Roxanne's continuing ambition right at the start of this chapter. That line that she's going to be the one to find the link between the murder and the disappearance was fantastic-- all confidence. I really like this girl!

Small typo, just so you're aware: "The only ones who’ll benefit financially from his death are a number of Muggle charities, and it’s unlikely that they were involved; he has *non* family to speak of."

I like the way this story is beginning to play with the boundaries of the definitions of both journalists and detectives, and keeping an eye on where they overlap. On the one hand, you have the media, a profession often viewed as biased and intrusive. Then you have this image of the detective, who's usually more respected and more intelligent. And here you have Roxanne, technically a journalist but toeing the line of detectives and mystery solving. I don't know how much of that is intentional or just a natural extension of Roxanne's characterization, but it could be a really neat tension for you to play around with more if you're not purposefully doing it already. The references to Roxanne reading mystery novels and enjoying solving them halfway through were what initially caught my eye.

Loved this moment: "I had to resist the urge to point out that Armstrong’s death is an even bigger mystery that still is nowhere near being solved, over a week after his body was found. He had been rather tipsy by that point, after all." Pretty typical, hilarious nerd moment, when the doctor is more excited by the mystery substance than the mystery death. Made me smile.

Hmm... Odd that Fred darts suspiciously into an apothecary moments after Roxanne muses about illegal potions. Coincidence...? Or incriminating...? Guess I'll have to wait and see.

I think you tackled the complexities of the conversation between Roxanne and Daniel really well. At first I was a little surprised that you thought Daniel would be willing to talk casually about the case at all to Roxanne, but you quickly made it clear that there were a couple lines he couldn't legally cross and that he was trying very hard to keep them in place. And you also did a nice job of invoking Roxanne's genuine curiosity in the case rather than some evil journalistic greed to land a scoop. If anything, all of that shows that there is some basic level of trust between the two of them, even if, professionally, they're limited to what they can discuss.

At the same time... Throughout Daniel and Roxanne's conversation, she does a lot of analyzing. Most of it seems to be either analyzing his physical movements or expressions and then interpreting (which shows us how well she knows him) or otherwise she's worrying about and overanalyzing everything either of them does in order to try and see where their relationship stands. I totally get that Roxanne must know Daniel well, and I totally get that anyone in her situation would do the same amount of overthinking and overworrying. But at the same time... As a reader, I began to wish there was a little less analysis, just so that I could try and interpret some of the things on my own. It seemed like every single time either character opened their mouths, Roxanne was thinking about something and we heard about it. I wonder what would happen if, from time to time, you just gave us two to three lines of dialogue without any added inner monologue, and let the reader run with it. Just a thought. And I'm sorry that this semi-contradicts what I just said in the previous paragraph. :P I'd be happy to talk about in more detail if you ever want to, or if I notice it again in later chapters.

That said, the two dramatic endings in quick succession worked really well. The interruption from Paul Jordan was really well done, such a quick change in pace that really got things moving. And then the real chapter ending, well, of course that's exciting too. And I'm thrilled that Richard called Roxanne personally, instead of just waiting for Miranda. Neat!

Anyway, I hope this is the start of a much more regular bout of reading and reviewing, and of more regular time spent on hpff in general. Looking forward to the next chapter. Great job with this one!

Author's Response: Honestly, you have nothing to apologise for ♥ I know exactly what it's like when uni gets on top of me, and my updates haven't exactly been consistent lately either, nor have my responses to these reviews. Thank you for coming back to this story, nevertheless!

I think that Roxanne is definitely starting to become more confident in this story - she's often so doubting and unsure of her talent, but the opportunities she's had so far are giving her some belief in what she can do. It's really fun to write about.

There's a lot of things to play around with when it comes to the distinctions between journalists and detectives, and I'm aware that I'm kind of reversing the traditional roles a little bit here with this story, which is fun to do. I think there's definitely some sort of overlap between them and it's fun to play around with - I'm not sure how much more I really go into it, to be honest, but it's cool that you noticed something I've been playing with a bit!

As for Fred, well, I couldn't possibly comment...

I think for Daniel, it's kind of strange because up till now he's had Roxanne there and been able to talk to her about the cases that are going on if he needs to. A lot of the time he wouldn't reveal so many details but she's aware of a lot of things already, so it's quite easy for them to slip into that routine again which they're so familiar with; there are lines he can't cross though. I think he knows Roxy well enough to trust that she's not going to write about it for the paper, but it's still a difficult conversation at times.

No, that's completely valid and I'm seriously so grateful for the CC here! I'm always really aware that I can improve as a writer (because nobody's perfect and I'm very far from it), and this extended narrative is something I'm not really used to keeping up for a novel-length story. The fact that there's too much analysis on Roxy's part makes a lot of sense to me, and I can understand how that would be frustrating as a reader because I'm telling you far too much. In the more recent chapters I've written, I've definitely tried to pare that down and be a little more concise (I'm aware that I have a very verbose style :P) so hopefully that works, but thank you so much for those comments because I'd never even have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out. If you get to the more recent chapters and think that there's still too much analysis I'd really appreciate you telling me so I can work on it more! ;)

I'm glad that the two dramatic endings in quick succession worked! I always worry about whether it seems like too much, especially when I use multiple cliffhangers in a row, but I'm glad it worked here.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed reviews on this story - they're really so fantastic!


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Review #19, by Holly Piece #18

4th October 2015:
Gosh and the plot thickens! Love the mystery and Roxy turning into a detective. Would be really cool if she does some snooping! Can't believe Daniel is leading her on and Fred isn't talking to her, she didn't do anything serious - plus she lost her job, hope things look up for her soon! Love the story and intrigue, can't wait to read what happens next :)

Author's Response: The plot does indeed thicken! If you get the chance to read on, it thickens even more, as well ;) You'll definitely get the chance to see Roxy doing some more snooping and playing detective in the story - she's not got much else to do now that she's lost her job and she's really determined to get to the bottom of what's happening here!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review on this story - it really means a lot!


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Review #20, by Randomcships Piece #17

19th September 2015:
Yay you updated :D
I really want to say this chapter was amazing. I mean, it was frustrating at times with Roxanne not standing up for herself to the others (for goodness sake, it was only a dance and Rox didn't even know Paul and Dan knew each other, their making it into too big of a deal for one silly dance). Having said that, I really love how fluffy this chapter was, I really couldn't stop smiling. Hope the marathon went well and I look forward to your next update.

Author's Response: I did! And updates will be coming a lot more quickly now, hopefully - I did survive, thank you :P I'm not sure how, though...

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this chapter, too! Your continued support for this story is so amazing and really encourages me to keep writing - I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you for reviewing!


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Review #21, by TidalDragon Piece #4

2nd September 2015:
My favorite thing about this installment was how it gave Roxanne some new dimension. We've seen how she's been learning on the job still and growing in confidence working her new story among the new circle she's begun traveling in after grinding away unrecognized for years. But here we see the impact it's had on her personal interactions. Though the potential was always there being George's daughter, she's developed quite a clever tongue, evading and deflecting, twisting around issues and deceiving with ease.
It's not particularly flattering, but what I like about it is how AUTHENTIC that is. It's easy to write perfection or imperfection - the absolutes. It's harder to write both in the same person, especially in first-person because of the blinders that individual will have about themselves that make it more of a challenge to have both strengths and weaknesses show clearly. You did an excellent job of it.

Of course, I can't conclude my review without mentioning the glimpse we get of the person and place I can only assume are holding Malcolm. Enticing in its ill-defined state, but chilling in the detail we are given - I wouldn't want to be there that's for sure.

Looking forward to seeing how the story continues to develop as I continue to chug along!

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you like the way that Roxanne is growing and developing in this story already. There's a lot more to go but she's becoming more confident already.

I'm not sure that the clever tongue is necessarily just recently developing - she's always been quite quick when it comes to her parents and family and friends, but she's learning now to use that with people at work so that she can get her way more. She's not really used to having to deal with people in the same capacity, about something so serious, so it's really interesting to see her grow that way.

You honestly have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that! It may not be particularly flattering for Roxanne, but I wanted to create a character who seems REAL in this story - someone who has their flaws and talents, who struggles and doesn't have the perfect life (because I get so frustrated when I'm reading stories with twenty-somethings having a perfect life when it's so rare in real life) and I'm so happy that Roxy comes across that way to you!

Thank you so much for this fantastic review!


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Review #22, by TidalDragon Piece #3

2nd September 2015:
It was interesting to see how Roxanne seemed to learn from her previous experience that point I brought up, that what gets avoided can signal clearly that it's more important to the speaker in these situations than what is actually said. Despite what happens in the bullpen with Miranda & Co. it's neat to be taking these lessons along with her and seeing her react and already become more confident. She has that drive about her that she knows the job has to get done too and though she's professionally motivated to do so, I think you're doing a good job underscoring how her background and unique perspective may help with that. She's obviously impressed the pool enough to get asked to the pub with them directly unlike Collins, who feels more like an unwanted tag-along.

The family dynamics you've mentioned are also intriguing me. Though they're never too heavy, serving instead as the delicious seasoning on the steak that is your story they've definitely piqued my interest - even more so with Lily - because the anger toward Roxanne appears quite firm at the moment, yet simultaneously vague. Given your talents I find myself asking the whether it's relevant to the major arc's resolution or a mystery within a mystery to distract us instead while developing Roxanne. We shall see...

The one thing I did note - and this is a personal preference probably more than anything, so just ignore it if you like - was the place at the top where you wrote "I don't need to add..." That always sticks out to me in writing as drawing attention to something that, if you're using that prefacing language, truly may be unnecessary. Here, I can see where you both wanted to break the dialogue there probably - and perhaps add to Roxanne's voice with an aside-like comment, but it just stuck out to me in a "meh" sort of way.

A minor minor and highly subjective thing anyway though in another excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Roxanne is definitely learning through the different things she does on this job, and it's all going to be a really big learning curve for her - not only professionally, but she'll learn a lot about herself as well. I'm glad you like the way that she's improving and developing through the story already. She's definitely managed to impress the others, although her name probably helps too - and Collins definitely isn't one of the most wanted people :P

I'm glad that the family dynamics are intriguing for you! They'll come into play a lot more in the later chapters of this story but I'm glad that there's something interesting about them for you!

That's a really good point, thank you! I definitely need to go through this story - particularly the earlier chapters - and tidy up the writing in it, because I'm aware there's a lot of superfluous prose in it that I can probably edit out. I'll try and clear that up when I get the chance to edit!

Thank you for yet another wonderful review!


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Review #23, by TidalDragon Piece #2

2nd September 2015:
Howdy Sian! By now you must've begun the think you'd never find me haunting the hallowed grounds of your story after all. But I have finally prevailed against my untimely illness and so here I am!

The first thing I MUST comment on is the semi-colon. I always notice them because they're so infrequently used and seemingly so difficult for most to get right, but you killed it...even if this particular semi-colon was relatively innocuous (I think). As they say: "Each semi-colon brings up closer to the top..."

Anyhow, the legitimately most amazing thing about this chapter was the descriptions. Seriously, I need to discover the fountain from which you draw these things because you're so talented at setting a scene and giving us just enough detail to be there and feel it, but not so much that it robs us of the opportunity to imagine elements for ourselves.

As far as the plot goes, I thought you did an excellent job of advancing the story here while still advancing Roxanne (NOT Rose, like I so foolishly put in my first review :p) as well. That's a difficult thing to do when you're dealing with a mystery because there's this incredible temptation to dial in so deeply into the procedure and planting seeds you'll later need and little discoveries that the character can get lost when that person is also an investigator of sorts. But you didn't permit it. By focusing on Roxanne's learning and her relationships with people present as well as pouring the concrete you showed us important parts of her current incarnation - observant, instinctive, determined, hopeful, professionally insecure.

I can't help but wonder if the latter made her misinterpret completely the propriety of her question. It can be read in a number of ways, and I suppose the story bears it out, but I think when you're dealing with authority figures, often the question that doesn't get answers is the most important one and that seemed to show in the tone and delivery of the response she received. So I hope Roxanne realizes that and doesn't shy away and turn into a pack-follower in the future. After all, the greats always find a way.

Anyway, I can't wait to see how this develops - I'm on the Chapter 3!

Author's Response: Hi Kevin! Thank you so much for stopping by here again!

Haha I hadn't even noticed that I use the semi-colon that often (not often enough to comment on :P) but I'm glad that I got it right!

Ah, you're far too nice to me (again!) but thank you so much - I'm really glad that you like the descriptions I use. I always try and set the scene as well as I can and it's great to know that it's paid off.

Hehe I didn't want to mention that :P I'm really glad you thought I did a good job of developing Roxanne's character and the plot of the story at the same time. These sections are actually some of the ones I'm most nervous about because I really want to portray it realistically but I'm very aware that I don't have real experience of these moments too. I'm glad that you liked the way that I wrote about it.

I think you might be onto something with the idea that idea that her question might actually be a very important one. Roxanne isn't at all confident in herself here, and so she's not likely to assume that she's done okay, but she could well have asked a very pertinent question...

Thank you so much for your review, Kevin!


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Review #24, by StarFeather Piece #4

31st August 2015:
#Last Spurt @ Review NaNo 5/ 21

Hi, Sian. I came back to your Roxanne. The fame that she was also a member of Weasleys seemed to be her burden, but at the same time the name may be her tool for interviewing people for her report. I reckon she wants to stand by herself but reality is she is still a nameless reporter. I could understand how she felt optimistic when the young works stopped to answer her questions. It’s very hard to attract the other’s attention especially when you’re on work.

The description about Archie, you compared to a golden Labrador, is interesting. I felt happy for Roxanne when she succeeded in pulling information from the young workers. Your description of the two was excellent, too. I visualized each character in my mind and enjoyed her questioning them.

Then you inserted the scene of torture. I wonder how you visualized the scene. Have you ever written about the crime scene before? I think it’s well written. I wondered if the man who was punished was the missing man.

I smiled at the description George still called her pumpkin and there’re different vegetable names more. I learned you even say “Daughters today,” we have the similar expression here.

Thank you Sian for sharing your imagination filled with love towards George and Angelina. I could imagine how George became a father and I became happy to find the mischievousness remained inside him. You infused your picture of George's family with life.

Still the question why Fred and Roxanne argued over something isn’t answered. I’ll be back at the next chapter!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny! Thank you for coming back - I'm sure that Roxy is also very grateful!

Roxanne is really frustrated with her surname a lot of the time; she doesn't want to get ahead just because of her family, but at the same time she knows that things are going so bad for her she has to use what tools she has.

I'm really glad that you liked the descriptions of the younger workers and the way that Roxy managed to get some information from them. I hadn't actually planned that scene at all, but I'm so glad it worked :)

I don't think I have really written about a crime scene before - it's interesting to imagine. I'm glad that you thought it was well-written.

I'm so pleased you liked my depiction of George and Angelina! I didn't plan on writing about them at first but the scene seemed to really fit in well. Since I don't normally write about major canon characters, I always wonder if I've managed to do it well. And it's so cool that you also have a similar expression to 'Daughters today' in Japanese!

Thank you so much for a fantastic review!


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Review #25, by Randomcships Piece #16

31st August 2015:
I saw you'd updated and I just sped over to the latest chapter and I liked this chapter. It felt a bit filler cos there wasn't as much action as the previous chapters but in a good way like sitting down after a bit of a jog. I feel like it was good because we got lots more information about the mysterious potion. I really love how you set the stage and your characterization of Dominique is quite unique and very consistent. Roxanne is my favorite next-gen character and I really love that not much has been going her way for quite a bit of this story because it makes it a lot more compelling and I like how well you've set the stage so the answer isn't immediately obvious but give just enough information at just the right times to keep us guessing. Also, just wanted to say this, I love how throughout this entire story, your characterization of all the characters has remained consistent and your spelling and grammar was nothing short of on point.

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, it's so exciting that you're excited about this story, and your reviews really encourage me to keep writing, so thank you :)

I think this chapter was a bit of a filler - there has been quite a bit of action in the last few chapters, but at the same time I do try to include lots of hints and details in these chapters that will help to solve the mystery, even if they're not immediately obvious.

I'm so pleased that you like Roxy's characterisation! She's definitely been struggling a lot in this story and I really wanted it to seem realistic, since I think we all have those periods of life when nothing seems to go our way, so I think she's quite relatable for that? I really have grown to love her (even though she can be quite frustrating at times) and it's great that readers do too!

Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the lovely compliments on my writing - they mean a lot!


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