Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
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Review #1, by MargaretLane Piece #9

27th March 2015:
Oh gosh, poor Upton. And I'm now reminded of the REALLY BIZARRE story of a murder in Ireland in 1996. A particular guy was suspected, but never found guilty. There are now claims of police bias and framing, with some witnesses basically saying the police told them to say certain things. It just gets progressively more bizarre.

OK, this story is just reminding me of numerous unsolved murders from Ireland in the '90s - well, both the case above and the one I mentioned beforehand when a number of women disappeared and everybody thinks they're connected, but the police can find no evidence to support that. I guess this is good, as it indicates this story reflects reality.

And I'd LOVE to know what the Quibbler has to say about events. Could be amusing.

Hmm, the fact they are both pureblood, but have connections to Muggles allow both for the possibility of pureblood supremacists OR some kind of revenge against purebloods. And that's just taking the possibility of some kind of blood status related motive. There are plenty of other options.

And the fact it seemed like Feist should KNOW the reasons has GOT to be relevant. If it were revenge against purebloods, I doubt he would. If it's his connection with Muggles, he MIGHT, as he could have been sent threatening messages, warning him to stop fraternising or something.

But there's also he got mixed up in something. But WHAT?

I'm also not going to rule our the possibility of Armstrong's wife being involved. Mostly because I think the body was found near their home. I don't see why she'd want to kill Feist and it seems like this is something more serious than a domestic anyway, but at the moment, I'm not ruling anything out.

Her recognition of the fact there was no sign of a struggle is significant.

You've written Feist had "non family to speak of." I presume it should be "no."

And now I'm intrigued: why MUGGLE charities? Why not wizaring ones? How is he even FAMILIAR with Muggle charities, growing up in the wizarding world? I guess from his work, but still, I wouldn't expect him to focus on them exclusively. I think there's a clue here, but what it is, I don't know. Maybe an indication he'd be viewed as a "blood traitor". Or maybe something more. I'd be interested to know whether those charities focused on something specific - something he had reason to care about, maybe, that the wizarding world didn't provide sufficient support for - or if it's just anything Muggle? Could it be some kind of way to make up for how purebloods treated Muggles in the war? Maybe he had relatives who were involved with the Death Eaters or something and he feels guilty. OK, that's a long shot, but it's POSSIBLE. And could open a few avenues of investigation.

I think she should look into these charities. Not that I think they have anything to do with the murder, but they might give some indication as to what his interest were, what sort of things claimed his attention. If it were just a "I've no close relatives, so might as well leave my money to charity" thing, I think he'd choose wizarding ones.

And NOW I'm suspicious of Terrence Brown. I'm convinced this is a conspiracy - we KNOW there is more than one person involved - so if Brown WERE involved, he would definitely let some of his co-conspirators who wouldn't be connected to Feist, do the dirty work and ensure a cast iron alibi.

Love your details about the regulations on potions. I love it when writers add a bit of detail to things like that, as it makes the world look real and as if the author thought about things.

I do think there's sort of a third option though. That the KILLER brewed the potion and gave it to Armstrong for whatever reason. O.K., that probably counts as illegal, especially if it helped kill him, but it wouldn't have been sold illegally and would be harder to trace than by looking for an illegal potions trader.

And she basically suggests this later.

I am suspicious of Daniel and Fred. It is possible Fred is covering for Daniel in some way.

I also wonder if Daniel has told Fred yet that he was wrong about Roxanne cheating.

You said Daniel was working on two "causes." Did you mean "cases"?

I really like the awkwardness between them. It's realistic.

Hmm, so Daniel was also drinking to a degree that had Roxanne worrying while they were together.

Judging from the murders in Ireland in the '90s, I think it's more a case of "have to treat them as separate unless you've reason to believe they're connected." I assumed the Guards had reason to believe those unconnected at first too, but it seems it's just a "no evidence either way" thing. And Daniel says the same thing.

There's something a little odd about Daniel's reaction to the mention of the potion. I can't put my finger on it. At first, I thought the Hit Wizards weren't aware of the potion for some reason.

So Daniel is Muggleborn and from a poor family. Nothing particularly significant there, I guess, but it's interesting to get a bit of background.

YES, the wizarding world seems pretty devoid of pastimes.

What is Jane up to? This is getting beyond feeling inadequate compared with Roxanne's career. She's got something to hide, I think. It's long enough now since the article and Roxanne hasn't been doing that much more, so it's not like it's being pushed in her face.

And I still think she's WAY too concerned about putting herself in a good light with Daniel, when HE doesn't seem at all worried about putting himself in a good light with her - drinking on call when he knows it's something she disapproves of, getting jealous when it was his jealousy of that guy that split them up in the first place and even if he doesn't want to get back together, he should still be trying to make up for accusing her of something she hadn't done.

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Review #2, by MargaretLane Piece #8

22nd March 2015:
To be honest, I think the "T" carved into his body is more of an indication of some kind of dark organisation than the fact that dark spells were used. I'd imagine any spell likely to cause harm to somebody would be considered "dark" anyway, but carving a letter seems to me to indicate an organisation that wants to be noticed.

And YES, there is no such thing as impartial information.

It's also occurred to me to wonder how Fred heard of Roxanne supposedly cheating on Daniel. If he told her brother she cheated on him, without having any evidence she did so, and neglected to tell him of his OWN behaviour and the conflict it had been causing between himself and Roxanne, that strikes me as really nasty, and pretty manipulative, behaviour.

‘So, have you been working on any new products in the shop, dad, since I last came?’
"Dad" should probably have a capital "d" here, as it's being used as a title.

*laughs at the interaction between Angelina and Fred* He may be an adult now, but that doesn't change the fact that she's his Mammy.

OK, this part about Fred saying he wasn't in Knockturn Alley is weird. What exactly is he hiding?

Oh, of COURSE, he's the guy we saw being led out of somewhere, the guy who should apparently know why he was being taken. I'd forgotten about him, in the stress on Armstrong's body being found.

Hmm, I'm wondering about this co-chief executive. It COULD be for business reasons. A publicist doesn't need the wrong kind of publicity himself. But on the other hand, he could have something to hide.

This is sounding very like the Guards' comments on those string of disappearances in the '90s. No evidence to connect them. Despite certain similarities.

I also think it could be interesting to know Feist's own blood status.

Hmm, the last part is intriguing. It sounds sort of like drugs. But even if it is, that doesn't really indicate how it connects with the disappearances. And we don't even know that it is. I'm not even sure whether drugs would exist in the wizarding world - the same type, I mean. I would have expected stuff more like illegal potions. Hmm. It does open a few other avenues.

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Review #3, by MargaretLane Piece #7

22nd March 2015:
I guess even if it IS Armstrong, the option of suicide still exists. From THEIR point of view, I mean. From ours, it is extremely unlikely, knowing what we do about the fact that there is DEFINITELY something dodgy going on.

My question is more, is it Armstrong, or is he a suspect for the murder? The fact you didn't name the captive as Armstrong makes me suspicious.

I can't help being amused by Roxanne's pondering over whether it is worse to have Miranda adore you or hate you. I think her hatred for Roxanne could be seen as a weird compliment actually. If she didn't see Roxanne as a threat, she wouldn't bother resenting her, which indicates she thinks Roxanne is likely to succeed in her career.

Hmm, they don't know she dated a Hit Wizard or just they don't know he gave her more information than she was willing to pass along? The latter makes perfect sense - she would be hounded to get information if her colleagues and bosses knew she had an "in" to investigations. The former would seem a little more odd. Of course, it COULD just be that they didn't want her colleagues trying to pump him or her for information. Or there could be something more personal to it.

I really like the way the next gen characters aren't so well known here. A lot of stories have them all virtual celebrities and...I don't know... It seems like it's rather a lot of people to be well known. But then, I get the impression that in other countries, the children of Prime Ministers and Presidents and people like that tend to be recognisable, so I don't really know what the most likely scenario is. But while George played a significant part in the war, it was no more than lots of other people, and while two of her uncles are part of the Golden Trio, that's a reasonably distant relationship.

Dominique is one of the next gen characters that seems to vary most from one fanfiction to another - in age and personality. I like the personality she has here.

That did occur to me as an option - that seeing Roxanne do well might make Jane feel more insecure. I've a feeling there could be more to it than that though.

Poor Teddy; it sounds like Victoire is taking the details of this wedding a lot more seriously than he is.

And I am interested in what horrified the Muggles so much. I mean, finding a body can't be nice, but from Dominique's reaction, I have the feeling it's more than just that. It sounds as if it might have been mutilated in some way.

A "T" carved into his right hand. Ugh. That's a bit freaky. And it must also MEAN something. I just wonder WHAT.

I think it would be weirder if traces of Dark Magic HADN'T been found. If he had been murdered completely Muggle style, that'd be weird. Dark curses are surely the norm when it comes to wizarding murders.

And now I'm wondering about the fact he was apparently found close to his home, despite the fact it looked like he was abducted in previous chapters. That again makes me question if the abducted man was him, along with the lack of a name. But on the other hand, somebody suggested in this chapter that no other wizards are missing. Hmm.

I don't think Dark Magic necessarily means Dark Lord types. After all, Harry used Dark Magic, although in one case, it was without KNOWING it was Dark Magic. Now of course, in this case, we can be fairly sure it wasn't an accident or necessity - at least, those are unlikely - but I suspect any murderer would be likely to use dark spells.

Ah! And I was just saying it sounded like nobody else had disappeared. Now, we're back again to the question of which missing wizard was that prisoner. Although, of course, it's possible this Feist only just disappeared.

I firstly assumed this was Hannah Abbott, but that's HARDLY likely if Roxanne described her as a young woman. Hannah must be at least twenty years older than her. And she'd probably be married to Neville at this point. A daughter or niece, perhaps. They would likely be around the right age.

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Review #4, by MargaretLane Piece #6

20th March 2015:
LOVE the two-a-knut souvenirs. Actually, despite having now had the euro for thirteen years, we still speak of "pound shop" stuff, because "euro shop" just sounds silly.

And I like the way you indicate the ambiance of the cafe.

I remember a LONG era in which mobile phones were expensive enough to be classed as luxuries, so I'm not surprised it'd be quite a while before everybody in the wizarding world had one. There was a local priest who used to have one maybe 5 or 7 years before they became common, probably because of how priests are sometimes called at short notice for last rites.

And of course, it makes sense that journalists would be among the first to use them.

Both Jane and Daniel are clearly hiding something. I doubt they're BOTH involved with the villains. Daniel, I am quite suspicious of, though Jane seems to need money, which could make her corruptible. Hmm.

At least one of them is probably hiding something different though. And I've now considered the possible they are together behind Roxanne's back, but it seems like him cheating on her is a bit too obvious. I kind of suspect his odd behaviour is meant to SOUND like he's cheating on her, but is really something else.

It's also occurred to me that HIS odd behaviour could be accounted for by his job. Perhaps there is more to this abduction than meets the eye. I mean, the Hit Wizards may have had some reason to suspect something dodgy was going down for some time, which would both explain why he was working odd hours and why they appear to be hiding something. I'm thinking something like a new organisation of Dark Wizards forming - there certainly seems to be a group involved in this abduction or whatever it is - and their trying to keep it quiet so people won't panic at the thought of a repeat of the Death Eaters. Or possibly an undercover operation they need to keep quiet.

*laughs* I'm not really a fan of second hand books. They always seem to be in dreadful condition, even those that were only published a few years ago. The books I've had since I was 7 are in better condition than some of the ones I see that were only published in the last five years.

And Al is a Ravenclaw in this too. That's cool. I like seeing him in houses other than Slytherin and Gryffindor. Not that there's anything wrong with his being in either of those houses, but it's nice to see a variety and in the epilogue, he didn't come across as particularly brave or sly to me. Now, of course, that could just be because he's eleven years old and leaving home for the first time, but they wouldn't be the houses that would jump to mind to me for him.

*laughs* I'd say Harry has a LOT of experience with taking care not to be overheard.

He seems very inclined to believe she was cheating, just because he saw her dancing with a guy once.

This sentence is a little odd: "I think he knows something that he’s hiding something from us, even if it has nothing to do with Armstrong’s disappearance." There should probably either be a comma before the "that he's hiding something from us" or else only one something.

*laughs* Roxanne's opinion appears to be the same as mine. Somebody getting a promotion you wanted is a pretty minor reason for murder. Especially for somebody like Simon Upton, who presumably hasn't shown violent tendencies before - if he had, it would be all over the papers, I'm guessing. To kill over a promotion, I think you'd either have to be somebody who resorts to violence easily or else have a pressing need for that promotion - like you were in debt and really NEEDED the extra money or you needed access to something only a person of a higher rank than you are currently at would have. I'm thinking now of the possibility of some kind of conspiracy and the conspirators needing access to certain information they'd need to be at a certain level to be privy too.

Honestly, I'm more interested in these sudden good ideas that Armstrong had. A change in his thinking prior to disappearing is pretty intriguing.

I don't think I like Daniel. He was in a bad mood for months and behaving suspiciously, then he jumped to conclusions and accused her of something with no evidence, especially after HE'D been behaving in a way very consistent with somebody cheating, so if he wasn't, surely he'd consider she might not be either, and yet SHE is the one doing all the apologising. Yes, she DOES owe him an apology for having her arms around an other guy, but HE owes HER apologies for treating her badly and jumping to conclusions and also an explanation as to why he couldn't tell her anything in the weeks before that. I guess he did give a half apology, but really she has a WHOLE lot more to forgive him for than he does her, and he doesn't seem to acknowledge that at all. In fact, he even seems to be continuing to blame her for HIS insecurity.

Oooh, I wonder if this is Armstrong's body. I'm not ready to take that for granted yet, especially with what we've seen, that the characters haven't. It seems likely he is either a prisoner or, possibly, involved in something dodgy. Either way, he might not be the murder victim.

This is getting more and more interesting. The first two chapters didn't intrigue me anywhere near as much as the later ones. I thought they were GOOD, but I wasn't sort of "oh, have I time to read another chapter? I need to find out what happens next" as I am now.

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Piece #5

17th March 2015:
LOVE the description of London at the beginning of this chapter.

Hmm, I wonder who this guy in the skyscraper is. Sounds like it's SOMEBODY in Conjuring Communications. Probably not Armstrong, but even THAT, I wouldn't COMPLETELY rule out. I assume this is the office of Conjuring Communications though, so it seems IMPROBABLE Armstrong would be there, although if he IS missing of his own account, it would be POSSIBLE for him to Floo or Apparate in without being seen. Unlikely though, as it'd be quite a risk.

And I wonder who have come for him - Hit wizards or the villains. Either is possible. If he's one of Armstrong's colleagues, particularly if he's Upton (there is a song about the "Lonely Woods of Upton" by the way), it is quite probable the Hit Wizards would want to question him. But it is also possible the villains may intend abducting more than one person.

I am sort of getting the impression it's the villains, but I guess we'll find out soon enough if somebody else disappears mysteriously. I sort of doubt the Hit Wizards would be that menacing, not without strong reasons to believe this guy IS involved in something criminal.

If they ARE villains, it seems like the man mentioned knows something.

And we're getting to meet more cousins. Yay.

Hmm, that part about people suspecting the Hit Wizards are about to question Upton makes it possible it is them in the first part of the story. Or maybe they'll go to speak with him and find he's disappeared too. Either way, I'm starting to think the man mentioned at the start might be him.

Or maybe that's what you WANT us to think. I have to keep in mind that you took care not to mention his name too. That indicate he might not be who we think he is.

Hmm, I'm starting to wonder if there's a reason Jane is avoiding her. You've tied it closely to the Armstrong story, so perhaps she knows something. Or perhaps she's just jealous that Roxanne's career is progressing. Or perhaps it's all coincidence. I must remember not to ignore her as a possible suspect though.

I'm also pretty suspicious of Daniel. It's clear there's something he's not telling her and it's quite possible he got involved in something dodgy.

I wonder if Fred knows about how Daniel was treating her all along. That strikes me as a good deal worse than just dancing with another guy.

LOVE the fact Lily's a Hit Wizard. I've read SO many stories where any combination of Albus, James, Scorpius, Hugo, Teddy and so on are Aurors and Lily and Rose are something like Healers or work in the Ministry. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter jobs, but I just feel like "why can't Lily ever be an Auror?" And this is close enough.

I actually like the fact the characters involved are Hit Wizards rather than Aurors too, as they rarely seem to appear in stories.

Poor Roxanne. But she really is pretty young. She has LOADS of time to meet the person she'll settle down with. Or to get back with Daniel if that's what's right for them both.

But I guess it's not going to feel that way immediately after a break up.

For the HPFF Fundraiser.

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Review #6, by MargaretLane Piece #4

15th March 2015:
Ah! I was wondering who she was trying to attract the attention of. His workmates make sense. And of course, they would be expecting questions and might not be too willing to answer.

It must be awful for anybody close to him. There's a good chance at least some of his workmates are worried and the thought of it being news, of being something people read out of interest, probably wouldn't be very pleasant for them.

*laughs at them remembering her and her not remembering them* It makes sense, as kids look up to kids older than them, who often don't even know they exist.

Yeah, I can definitely imagine that taking notes would change something from a chat into something far more serious. I never thought of how a pensieve could be used by journalists, but it DOES seem like it'd make their job easier.

And I'm amused at the idea of Rose working in the legal section, as I've FINALLY decided my Rose is going to pursue a legal career when she leaves Hogwarts.

And hmm, this is interesting. He suddenly starts having interesting ideas, gets promoted and then disappears. I'm guessing there's a connection. Somebody suddenly having A really good idea, fair enough, but suddenly having a string of good ideas, when they don't appear to have had anything out of the ordinary before that - that's interesting. I don't know WHAT the relevance is. Maybe he got those ideas from somewhere, like somebody else was helping him with them or he just straight out stole somebody else's ideas. That'd give somebody a motive for murder. Or maybe one of his ideas threatened somebody in some way. Like introducing Muggle technology to the wizarding world could well put some traditional wizarding technologies out of business, like if somebody is making money out of connecting people to the Floo network or something. Or perhaps he stumbled on some kind of secret.

While everything is relevant, it doesn't seem to me that there's much in that whole Upton thing. Anybody who is promoted a couple of times in quick succession is likely to face some degree of resentment, especially as it's likely he is now higher than some people who were higher than him a year ago. But most people don't get murdered as a result of being promoted. Maybe if Upton was guaranteed Armstrong's job, but even then it would seem extreme. Something like sabotaging him would make more sense. I suspect there's more to this than just jealousy over promotions. And of course, for all we know Upton MAY have more reason to dislike him that these guys don't know about, but on the whole, I don't think he's very PROBABLE, at least not unless more emerges.

I'm guessing, though not certain that the captive is Armstrong. The fact you haven't named names though, makes me wonder. It could be that that's what we're MEANT to think. Armstrong could even be one of the abductors, but for the moment, I'll go with the idea he's PROBABLY the captive.

It looks like this isn't murder anyway, but it also looks like there's some conspiracy going on here. A murder could have a personal motive; THIS looks like something more serious.

The spells they are casting also remain vague. I'm thinking the Cruciatus, but perhaps it is something less common, even something new.

Bonfire night - one of these references that remind me we're in a different country here. Fireworks are illegal here anyway, so you wouldn't see them on sale in shops, but of course, the wizarding world might be different that way.

LOVE the idea of Angelina adding to the business. I can't see George as a businessman really, so having a wife that's skilled at that could be very useful. And I laughed at the hen night stuff.

*laughs at George threatening to stop selling Weasleys products to Ron if he doesn't shut up* I'd imagine that'd work, all right.

I'd be inclined to give "Dad" a capital "d" when it's being used as a title, like when she says "Dad says" rather than "my dad says". Same with "Mum".

It's interesting to see George worrying about his daughter, since nothing ever seemed to worry him in the books, but I guess your kids are different. There's a line in "The Field" about how a particular character was never afraid of anything, until her first child was born.

I like the way George and Angelina take the possibility of Armstrong being dead in their stride, because compared with a dictator taking over the country and torturing people, including teenagers, for fun, more or less, an ordinary murder isn't really that big a deal.

I think Nana Molly would hex them or something if she found out they weren't speaking for weeks on end. She's such a MAMMY. And of course, today being the day that's in it, there is a lot of talk about Mammies.

No, I don't think the ending was rushed and I loved the interactions between George and Angelina.

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Review #7, by MargaretLane Piece #3

15th March 2015:
Hmm, this story is getting progressively more interesting.

And ooh, Conjuring Communications is playing more of a part than just showing the wizarding world as having changed in...I don't know, over twenty years. And I've now realised we don't know when Roxanne was born in this. In my story, she was born about 16 years after the wizarding war ended, but it's probably less here.

I really like the fact that your victim has a job in a company not established in canon. I don't know if that's to allow for a number of colleagues as suspects or what, but whatever the reason, it gives the wizarding world greater depth when extra things are added, especially when they seem to fit the world that already exists.

One thing that's standing out to me at the beginning of this is that you are using a lot of epitaphs, when pronouns would work and might sound better. Like "all attempts to contact the wizard" and "the reporter had been her mentor." In both those cases, I'd be inclined to replace "the wizard" and "the mentor" with "he". It's perfectly clear who's being referenced in each case.

Oooh, Miranda is mean. OK, so she got the story by default, but it's still pretty exciting.

And I can definitely see the wizarding world getting particularly jittery about disappearances, considering the memories they would bring back for older people. And possibly even some younger ones. The evictions in Ireland at the moment - because of the collapse of the housing market - are sort of creating some unease and it's well over 100 years since the Land League of the 19th century protested evictions and 165 since starving people were evicted in the Famine, so I think even people who hadn't lived through the war would have learnt enough about it and heard enough from their parents to be freaked out by disappearances.

I love the description of how consumed by the story she is. It's almost poetic and gives us an insight into how much she loves journalism.

I assume it's her relationship with Daniel that gives her an insight into how Hit Wizards work and this makes me wonder some more - is it just that he happened to mention some stuff about his job the way anybody might or is there more to it? Did she try and use her relationship with him to get information about something and did that lead to the breakdown of their relationship? Is he indiscreet? Or is there something else I haven't considered?

Again, you use Miranda's name rather a lot towards the end of the first section. As she's the only woman involved in the conversation apart from Roxanne, it'd still be perfectly clear who Roxanne was referring to if you used the word "she".

That part about her feeling slightly more alive is somewhat ominous. It indicates she really was feeling pretty bad before this.

Ah, this gives me something more of a clue as to when we are - Lily appears to be grown up anyway, so after 2024. I wonder what Lily's job is.

And she's obviously annoyed with Roxanne too. Whatever is going on in Roxanne's life, it seems to be pretty serious.

In this line, "For someone who must have interrogated hundreds, if not thousands, or suspects during her career, her poker face – at least when confronted with reporters - leaves a lot to be desired," I assume it should be "someone who must have interrogated hundreds, if not thousands OF suspects", rather than "or."

LOVE the comparison with Cornish pixies.

It sounds like they have some information that indicates the disappearance may be involuntary. Wonder what it is.

When Roxanne asks her question you've written that Lily's eyes "seem to instinctively find mind". I assume it should be "mine."

And you give us an immediate indication of the type of person Jensen Collins is from the way he appears to be sucking up to Roxanne because of her family connections. You do a really good job of showing the personalities of various characters, even when they only appear for short periods.

It can be hard to prove guilt, or even that it WAS murder, without a body. There were a string of disappearances in Ireland in the mid-90s that were never solved.

And what you've said about Jensen Collins reminds me of why I am sometimes cautious of mentioning World War II online - because I don't have grandparents who fought in it or were evacuated or any of the thing that happened to people in the UK and on the continent.

And hmm, that last part about Fred is intriguing. Of course, it's probably nothing. Knockturn Alley may be dodgy, but there are tons of reasons somebody might walk down it. If Fred is anything like his dad, it could even just be for the thrill, but the fact you've mentioned it makes me think there's some relevance to it.

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Review #8, by MargaretLane Piece #2

14th March 2015:
You portray the sensory information well, if that doesn't sound too awkward or pretentious. I'm not sure how to express what I'm trying to say, but you really show how she's feeling - sick from the alcohol and the cold of the air and the salty smell.

I love the part about her accompanying reporters in the past. There's almost a sense of isolation about it, as if she felt sidelined on those occasions.

And the shout really sort of cut across what was happening and came almost as a shock. Something is happening here!

*laughs at her not admitting to reading anything other than the Prophet* That line amused me.

Hmm, Daniel seems like he's going to be relevant.

Love the description of how she feels like a vulture. Your writing is really descriptive and I like the way you address the moral dilemma inherent in journalism. Obviously, it's an important profession and it ensures people have access to information that makes things like cover-ups more difficult, but on the other hand, it can cause great upset to people involved. And of course, as a junior reporter, she has pretty much NO say as to how much she'll report, if she wants to progress in her job.

And you give us a fair amount of information about Richard in a few paragraphs. There seems to be a hint of scandal about him, but it seems fairly minor. So far, he doesn't seem a very likely villain.

Hmm, I wonder if he's Pansy's son.

And being noted for being divorced seems somewhat probable in the wizarding world, as few there seem to be.

Ah! Daniel is a hit wizard. *gathers some information*

And I'm now remembering George Bush's reaction to being interviewed by an Irish journalist. He didn't seem to enjoy the experience. It's the part about them having to allow questions they weren't prepared for that reminded me.

Yeah, a grown wizard disappearing doesn't seem to quite merit this level of concern. There must be something more to it.

And I'm now intrigued as to what could have happened between Roxanne and Daniel. It must be fairly serious if the idea that he said something about her jumps to mind, rather than the thought she might have made a faux-pas with her questioning. Of course, people DO sometimes feel fairly strongly of those who've hurt their colleagues, but still, under the circumstances of a possible murder investigation...

Hmm, there's something kind of interesting about Richard - perhaps the difference between his reputation and how seriously he takes his job or perhaps just the detail you've gone into about him. I'm beginning to think he'll play SOME part in this story, beyond that of just a photographer, though whether it's as a suspect or as a possible love interest for Roxanne or what, I don't know. Now that I think of it, maybe it's just THIS case he's serious about. We've no evidence he's serious about his job in general. He might just have specific reasons for wanting to know how much the Hit Wizards know about what's going on here.

Yikes, I didn't expect Daniel to APPEAR.

And I wonder what he means when he says she doesn't want to cover this story. Does he think the guy has just gone off with a girlfriend or something? Or does he just not want to run into Roxanne again? Or has he some nefarious reason for warning her off? At the moment, all those options seem possible. I don't think it's the first though. I think he might be trying to make out it's that, but I think there's something more. Whether it's personal or to do with the story though, I can't guess.

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Review #9, by TreacleTart Piece #1

6th March 2015:
Hi Sian,

I'm TreacleTart aka Kaitlin and I'm here for our review swap!

What an intriguing story! The way you have developed each of your characters is brilliant. Regardless of how big or small the role they play in the chapter is, each one is quite well thought out and interesting. The way you compared Violet Toots to Rita Skeeter really made me understand who she is. Even though she's being nice in this particular chapter, you can feel an undercurrent of her searching for gossip.

Roxanne and Jane are spot on for 20-somethings. This line "We are twenty-three and our lives are a mess, and there are multiple occasions when we have found ourselves wondering where exactly the bright futures we were promised at Hogwarts have gone." describes a struggle that many young people go through. They leave school with great hopes and a few years out realize it isn't all that easy. You really, really handled that subject well.

I found the opening to be quite intriguing. I'm anxious to find out who the imperiused man is and who imperiused him. I'm also excited to see what they attacked him for and if he knew it was coming why he stuck around.

Your imagery in this is fantastic as well. Each location that you described was visible as I read the chapter. I could hear the office noise and sense the hustle-bustle of the day. It was almost like a movie. And then The Green Grindylow (great name btw)...it was like I was sitting in my own favorite dive bar.

I also felt that there was a nice balance between description and dialogue. I didn't find either side to be too heavy.

Everything flowed really well too. Each section of the story transitioned smoothly into the next one.

Unfortunately, in the way of a critique I don't have much to offer because you've done such a spectacular job at this. I did notice one small typo, but it's very nitpicky. When talking about Cormac McLaggen, you said "It sounds like half the league hate him." It should be hates.

All in all, an excellent story! Thanks for swapping with me. I'll be adding this to my current reading list, so I can see where this story takes Roxanne.

~Kaitlin

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Review #10, by MargaretLane Piece #1

6th March 2015:
Hmm, rather an intriguing opening. I'm guessing this guy is going to be forced into doing something as part of the mystery here, since it appears to be important we don't know who he is and we've seen him placed under the Imperius Curse.

I wonder if he's a canon character. Somehow I've a kind of feeling he might be.

It's rather interesting that he knows who his attacker is. Combined with his feeling of dread prior to the attack and the way you are hiding his identity from us, I've a feeling there's more to him than just an innocent victim. I don't really think he's a villain, but I think the villain may have some specific reason for targeting him, whether it's because of a previous grudge or because he has some specific role, like he works in the Ministry and they are going to try and seize control of that or something.

And GARDEN GNOMES? OK, I really didn't expect that.

Oh right, it's just in the sense of garden pests. I thought they were literally laying siege to the place or something. I do wonder if the fact it's Godric's Hollow will turn out to be relevant though.

And poor Roxanne. I can definitely imagine it'd be hurtful not to even have your full name confirming you've written an article, no matter how insignificant.

Roxanne isn't a character who appears that much in fanfiction, at least in the fanfiction I've read, so it'll be interesting to see how you portray her.

Oooh, Rita Skeeter is still around. I daresay she'll be stirring up trouble before the story is out.

Hmm, I wonder if the reference to Roxanne's "secrets" is relevant. It might just be a comment on Violet's personality, and of course, most people have something, no matter how small, they wouldn't want passed all around their workplace, but it could also be a first hint there's something more going on in Roxanne's life.

Wonder if Violet will include hurling or Gaelic Football in her article. Hurling seemed to confuse English Muggles enough; the wizarding reaction would be HILARIOUS.

Love the little details you include like that Violet is well connected enough to get away with things other members of staff might not.

And I really LOVE the fact that phones have been introduced to wizarding society. I love it when stories show the wizarding world having undergone changes since canon, without overdoing it. It doesn't seem like that they'd jump into worldwide web and iphones overnight, but changes from Harry's day seem likely. Mobiles that are old-fashioned by Muggle standards are definitely credible and I like the name of the company.

Hmm, I wonder what Jane does and why she's finding it so difficult to survive. I'm already feeling sorry for her and we've barely met her.

Oooh, the gossip about her. So I was right to wonder if the "secrets" she mentioned referred to more than just her not wanting everybody at work to know about her most embarrassing moments.

Sounds like she's having a bit of a rough time. Even that reference to not being able to celebrate her father's birthday gives the impression that although she wasn't even born, the war has had an impact on her life too.

I'm getting the impression she fell out with a boyfriend who was friends with her brother. But there's got to be more than that to it. Even if she cheated on him or something, it'd hardly be THIS big a deal. I suppose it could be, but I've a feeling it's pretty convoluted.

The being 23 reminds me of a conversation on a soap here in Ireland, "Fair City", where this girl was complaining about being broke, stuck living with her father that she didn't get on with and so on at 22 and somebody was like, "that's how it's meant to be at 22 and next year, you'll be 23 and it'll be the same." That sounds WAY more negative than it came across in the actually show. The point was, "you're still young. You're not meant to have life sorted out yet." When I was 23, I thought I should have, but now looking back, sure I'd barely finished college.

I'm guessing the man who went missing is the guy mentioned in the first paragraph. Hmm.

Interesting opening chapter. You've given us a lot to wonder about, between Roxanne's reasons for falling out with her family and the guy who gets Imperiused.

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Review #11, by patronus_charm Piece #8

25th January 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Wow, Roxanne really is getting immersed into this job! I liked the beginning bit and how you showed the drudgery side to journalism because before it was all about the fun and glamorous bit, and I was starting to think this wouldn’t be a bad job, but now I’ve seen how she has to endlessly question people, come up with crazy hypothesis and get shouted at by her boss so it’s not so fun anymore. :P

That was certainly a very awkward moment when Fred wouldn’t pass her the salt. I wonder if he’s still holding some grudge against because of everything that happened with Daniel… It was so sad to read that bit about how much he was missing Fred. Of course I knew he was, but just reading all of that and how he couldn’t work for 6 months afterwards just made me all mushy instead, and if I could give George a hug right now I would.

Woah, *writes note to self* never, ever get on the bad side of Angelina as she really took Fred down and it was rather terrifying to say the least! Though Fred really does need to stop being an idiot because Roxy has sorted it all out, so yeah. I bet he was doing something illegal in Knockturn Alley though, that’s why he was being so cagey, there can’t be another reason for it! Hmm, I wonder what he was actually doing now… Seriously, I couldn’t take that final awkward moment with Fred and Roxy, it was just too much, those guy really need to sort their issues out!

Ooh that wasn’t the best start to the day for Roxy, was it? Having to rely on Violet to give her all the gossip about the latest update in the case. It is intriguing though, and the disappearance felt very Sherlock like in a way with the Muggle building and him just disappearing. Maybe the villain in the story is actually Moriarty? :P

I can’t deal with that last scene! Who is it? Who is it? I can only possible think of Roxy because the woman had dark-hair, which is a bit of a silly guess. I do have a feeling that a Wotter possibly has something to do with this though, but we’ll just have to see.

Such a fab chapter, and thanks for the shout-out! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #12, by Lululuna Piece #8

23rd January 2015:
Hey Sian! :D (Aw, thanks for the shout out! I will pester you to update any time you wish :P)

It was really great to get to meet Fred properly and to see more of the family dynamics between them. I think your portrayal of him is so unique, he's often portrayed in fanfic as this joker sidekick prankster guy so seeing him more uptight and sensitive is really interesting. I also loved the interaction between all the family members, from George getting involving when he means business, to the way that Roxy is trying to keep the peace and not get visibly upset even though she is. Fred really is being so unfair and almost slandering her to her parents when they should hear the story of the breakup from her is just a low blow.

I'm glad Angelina and George stood up for Rox, however! They do seem like really good parents. I also liked the detail about George being the cook in the family, I always imagine all of Molly Weasley's kids knowing their way around a kitchen. :P

(Sidebar: I've been binge-watching Downton Abbey and just wrote that last paragraph in Mrs. Patmore's voice for some reason. Ahem. Anyway...)

I also thought it was really poignant when Rox mentioned how her father cared a lot about family, especially after the losses during the war. It shows how empathetic she is in understanding what her dad might be thinking. She really is such a thoughtful and observant person.

I still have no new ideas about the disappearances, but it's interesting how Roxy is re-visiting the blood status argument. It makes me think that although it felt wrong to even consider those prejudices still exist, sometimes they do have to face them. I still think it has something at least to do with the technology business, though. Sort of because from what we've seen of the criminals, they seem more politically/economically motivated than ideology-motivated.

For the last scene, I'm kind of suspecting right now that the dark-haired man is Fred. If he's dealing some strange drug it might explain why he was in Knockturn Alley, and maybe he's taking it too which could explain why he's been acting so angry and emotional.

As for the green eyed girl... hmm, I feel like that should be a clue. Miranda? I'll have to go back and investigate who has green eyes. Unless it's Harry or Albus disguised as a woman or something, haha, since they have green eyes.

Another superbly written chapter, Sian! :D I'm excited for the next one!! ♥

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Review #13, by Randomcships Piece #8

20th January 2015:
God you update so quickly for a fic with of such high quality. Normally I would have to wait for about 2 months or more for an update on a fic as good as this. That said, I can't express in words how amazing this fic is. I mean, the the way the story comes together is just inspiring and the consistency. Not just in the plot but also the way you structure every piece is a testament to your talent as a writer. Also I really do believe that Janes absence is linked to the disappearances and I wonder if the both missing individuals working with muggles is a clue to find out who is behind the disappearances or it's linked more to the motive for the disappearances.

Author's Response: Hi! First, I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to respond to this review - I've been bad at replying lately, and this was so amazing it was hard to know what to say.

I'm so, so honoured by this review. It's really nice to know that people are reading this story and enjoying it, and the fact that you think it's high quality and that the plot and consistency are good means a lot to me. I thought this update was late in coming and I do mean to try and improve on the speed of my updates, but life keeps getting in the way.

Regardless, I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story and thank you so much for taking the time to make my day with this review. I hope that you keep reading and enjoying the story! :D


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Review #14, by Lululuna Piece #7

15th January 2015:
Hello! :D Finally caught up, yay!! :)

This was such an eventful chapter! I'm so curious about what happened with Armstrong and why he was killed since we didn't get insight into the kidnappers this time. The scene at the end was so tantalizing. Hmm, I'm wondering if maybe they're attacking and kidnapping powerful wizards for the sake of possibly impersonating them, but maybe Armstrong's disappearance got too public before they could replace him with an impersonator or something. Then the reason why Miss Abbott wasn't supposed to say that he was missing could be because his co-workers were behind it or something, I'm not sure. :P This theory probably makes no sense, haha. I don't know what to make about the T on his hand.

I liked meeting Dom, she seems very down to earth and likable. The news about Victoire being a bridezilla made me laugh. :P

It was cute how Roxy and Daniel got to go to work together, even though their careers are separate. :P I also liked how predatory the press are with getting their stories and how clearly irritated the Hit Wizards get. I liked how you mentioned needing to Obliviate the Muggles and how they feel a bit uneasy about having to do it because it definitely is invasive and a bit unfair for the Muggles.

At first I wondered if Richard might actually be a vampire, but now he seems to be showing more werewolf symptoms. I'll have to wait and see on that one, haha.

So excited to finally say: can't wait until the next update! :D I'm really loving this story, Sian! ♥

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Review #15, by Lululuna Piece #6

12th January 2015:
Hiii!! :D

The technology is still so new that it’s extremely expensive, with prices that Daniel could hardly believe when he compared them to those in the Muggle world. If it wasn’t for my job at the Prophet, which comes with a company phone, I wouldn’t be able to afford one either. Ooh does this have something to do with the mystery? Maybe the kidnappers are against the Muggle technology, or want to take over the company or something since it’s so wealthy? The way that Roxy keeps pointing out how much Muggle culture influences wizarding culture makes me think increasingly that it must be significant.

Aggie is so funny, but I feel bad for Jane that she has to work for her. :P

Okay I just have to mention this because it made me laugh but Chapters is the name of the largest bookstore chain here in Canada. Like, it’s the Starbucks of Canadian bookstores in terms of the frequency with which it appears (ironically a lot of them actually have Starbucks in them). So when I read Chapters here where she said it was a “Muggle café” I was like “lol sweet little wizards, think Chapters is a little local café.” AND THEN I REALIZED that they must not have Chapters in England, which I never explicitly noticed when I was living there but it makes sense. :P So I’m not confused anymore, but I am still amused.

Ahem, anyway back to Daniel. I like how there are all the details about how awkward it is, like how they’re awkward about not knowing who should pay. I feel like that’s such a common thing that couples do and to have to adjust to it after breaking up would be really disorienting.

I’m so glad Roxy got the chance to explain herself to Daniel! It’s good that they’re taking things slow and seeing where they can go from there. I don’t ship them too forcefully, because I feel like I don’t quite trust him yet, but I do ship them tentatively for now, hehe.

This is such a minor detail but I loved the image of the old lady blushing through her powdered cheeks. It was just so neat and vibrant, I could really see it in my head.

Somehow I’m not sure the body is Armstrong, but luckily for me there’s one more chapter to read and find out! :D Yet another amazing chapter, Sian! :)

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Review #16, by Lululuna Piece #5

12th January 2015:
Bonjour my belle!

Okay so you already know I loved the first few lines because they described my most beloved London. :P I like how the man calls the London eye a “strange Muggle wheel” too. It must be pretty odd for wizards.

I liked how the chapter began with Roxy’s article! I didn’t really suspect Upton anyway, but the fact that the kidnappers are going after the publicist, and not after Roxy, makes me think that they might not mind the press leading the public on a false trail. But now I’m worried that Upton himself will come after Roxy and try to curse her or sue her or something for publishing against him!

Ahh, we get to find out what happened with Daniel! Hearing Roxy tell the story – and knowing how honest she is – makes me angry with James and Fred for being so mean to her. Why should she stay in a relationship where her partner is being unexplicably rude and making her miserable? Although it does sound like perhaps he was going through something external from their relationship and was taking it out on Roxy. Hmm, I wonder if it has something to do with the case and these kidnappers going around Imperius-ing people?

I’m glad Lucy pointed out what I was thinking, how they were being unreasonable, and also decided to set things straight with their family as it is unfair of them not to at least listen to Roxy’s side of the story. Lucy seems so great and supportive, it’s awesome to see her in Roxy’s corner while also helping Roxy understand their cousins’ behaviour.

Another awesome chapter and I'm so glad my curiosity has been satiated for now! ♥

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Review #17, by Lululuna Piece #4

12th January 2015:
Hey hey!! (It’s hard finding a new exciting way to start each review without being too much of a broken record, haha).

Ah, poor Roxy, trying to get a good interview. Archie seems really sweet though, I like how Roxy was able to convince him to speak with her by being sneaky and saying her full name. It’s probably a good thing she said she was a journalist too because she could possibly get in trouble for libel or something if she lied and put it in a story. I also like how both Archie and Marius really fit their names somehow, where Archie seems like a bouncy, happy name and Marius is more mysterious and moody, haha.

Using a Pensieve for interviews is brilliant! I’m so mad that the equivalent doesn’t exist in the Muggle world! :P (though I guess we do have tape recorders…). Oh, a quick note about Roxy not revealing her sources though, I know in my journalism classes at least they’re really iffy about anonymous sources, i.e. if we use one in even an assignment we get marks taken off because they’re not as credible and are supposed to have a really good reason for being anonymous. So maybe if Roxy gave a specific reason (like the fact that Armstrong was murdered), and cited in her interview that the sources preferred not to be named it would be super realistic? Just a thought because she might have gotten some trouble from the boss about promising not to use her sources’ names. :P

Aw, poor captive. I’m assuming the captive is Armstrong, though for all I know he wasn’t named, so he could even be one of the kidnappers potentially. That scene was so intense and exciting. I also noticed how the first time he appeared, they cast the first Unforgivable curse, and the second time, the second Unforgivable… does Roxy have to help find him before they cast the third one?! Am I reading too much into this pattern?!

Haha, I can totally imagine Ron making fun of George for going a bit bald. :P Although I’m sure George would return the favour. I giggled at how he was “threatening” the poor sales boy. And Verity got a mention!!! YAY!!!

I’m glad that George can talk about Fred and laugh. It definitely seems like the best way to honour Fred’s memory is by remembering how fun he was.

Hmm. My suspects so far are…Stephen, because this nervous thing could be all an act…the garden gnomes from the frist chapter…and Fred, because he’s being shady. Clearly you can tell that I really have no good suspects right now and I should not be an Auror, ever. :P

Awesome chapter, Sian!

Oh! I just realized something else! What if the chapter titles mean that there is a "piece" of the puzzle inside each chapter, like one specific detail that will lead to the truth? I really have no clue yet what those could be, though. Hmm. Maybe not such a great theory after all. :P

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Review #18, by Lululuna Piece #3

12th January 2015:
Hola!! ☺

I’m glad Andy told Miranda off for being mean to Roxy, and he did it in a really sneaky way too by bringing up actual facts and using them against her. Definitely a sign that he’s another good journalist. :P

I’m liking Violet more and more. It’s really neat how she uses Muggle comparisons to explain things, and I liked learning about her take on press conferences.

I love how even though Roxy herself is a journalist, she still sees some journalists as feeding on gossip, like her and Lily not speaking. Ah, I’m still so curious about Daniel and what happened to have so many of Roxy’s own family turn against her! I like how Lily can still be happy for Roxanne, though, and it’s really relatable for whne people are in arguments with their family members but still love them. This story just feels so real!

Ugh, Jensen. I hate him already, especially with how he’s trying to manipulate Roxy by acting interested in her. Although I do think his theory, though not phrased with sensitivity, is probably something that people would think of in the wake of the war. I’m wondering if the dismissal of his theory of the motive involving blood status is maybe a red herring to get the reader off that track, hmm.

My tentative theory at this point in the story is that it has something to do with his job and Muggle technology coming into the wizarding world, but I’m not sure yet. :P

I'm really excited to learn more about Fred and what he's up to! He seems a little too oblivious right now...possibly under the Imperius Curse since he doesn't hear Roxy calling him? Just more speculating, I really have no clue. :P

This was another really great chapter, Sian! :D

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Review #19, by Lululuna Piece #2

12th January 2015:
Hello again! :D

I have a talent for remembering names and faces that my family cannot comprehend, and there have been multiple awkward occasions when I’ve spoken to someone who doesn’t have a clue who I am. Oh my, THIS. I can totally relate so much, hehe. Although it's also happened to me where I'm not wearing my glasses and legitimately mistake a stranger for a friend. :P But this is also a great example of her journalism skills showing through!

Richard seems interesting! I like how he's kind of set up to be a bit of a shady character, between being a Parkinson, drinking heavily and having yellow teeth (for some reason this reminds me of bad character traits). But the fact that he's a friendly acquaintance who Roxy enjoys speaking with makes him very unique and curious.

I really like Andy's case about the smallest detail making a story stand out, and it's so true. The descriptions of the elite journalists is really realistic, but also shows how as an outsider Roxanne might have a leg up in finding an angle that goes against the mainstream.

Speaking of details, there are many here which I found really effective in making Roxy's job really believable and relatable. For example, the point about questioning the family and how it's both sensitive, but also something that journalists are supposed to do. I thought Roxy's conflict over that was really relatable, and loved how she mentioned her parents and how they would feel.

Hmm, so Malcolm worked at Conjuring Communications? And the Aurors are unusually interested even though he hasn't been gone for long? Already there are many seeds of clues which I am trying desperately to piece together. :P I love how you mentioned the phones and Conjuring Communications in the last chapter too, and how it resurfaces in this chapter. Hmm.

I already don't really like Daniel, because he seems really angry and bitter. But then again, there are two sides to every story. I wonder if maybe Roxy cheated on him, or maybe she used him to try and get a story, even if she didn't realize it at the time? Neither really seems like something she would do but it does seem like she did something to make him feel justified in being angry with her. I'm so curious! You've done an amazing job with already building this whole complex world with a full cast of characters in only a couple chapters.

This was another exciting chapter, and the plot is moving along at a really well-written pace! :) I'm excited to keep reading!

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Review #20, by Lululuna Piece #1

12th January 2015:
Hey Sian! :D I read this chapter so long ago but kept getting distracted when I started to review, ugh. But I really love this story and can't wait to catch up with it and review all the chapters, woohoo! :)

The beginning was so exciting and I love how you jumped right into the action of the mystery. It's also really interesting how the expectation is reversed. I expected the spell to be "Avada Kedavra" because that's what tends to happen when dark wizards come calling, but the fact that it was "Imperio" means that I'll be second-guessing all the characters in trying to figure out who it could be and who is actually acting in their right mind.

Can I just say that Violet Toots is an excellent name? :P And haha, so true that Muggles have way more sports than wizards do, seriously. I love how yoga was mentioned as one of those sports too, because yoga is awesome!

I really love Roxy already. She's very relatable, with how she feels like she isn't accomplishing everything she wants to, and is both bored and embarrassed with her articles. Although I will say that garden gnomes invading a town does seem quite amusing. :PI also liked how she's very down-to-earth, like not being tempted into gossiping about Miranda because she suspects that they gossip about her. It shows her character really well in how she can see the bigger picture that way and not want to engage in mean behaviour, even though she doesn't like Miranda. She feels very mature and observant.

It's really interesting how the wizards have adapted Muggle phones and are making use of them. That's very creative but also makes sense, as they would be a lot more convenient than owls or Patronuses (Patroni?).

Aw, Bob! He's so sweet! I'm glad Roxanne is his friend. :)

I loved the description of the pub and the way the girls make time to meet up every week. It's definitely relatable that it's tricky to stay in touch sometimes, even when friends live in the same city.

You did a great job stirring up suspense about Daniel here and what happened, and why Fred might be taking his side. I love how the family dynamics are already being mentioned as they really round Roxy out as a character and make me want to know everything about her!

It takes less than a second for the warm combination of alcohol and friendship to dissolve into an icy fear that takes hold of my insides and twists them, making me feel sick. This line was so amazing because it made me feel exactly the way Roxanne was feeling! I hate getting in trouble of any sort too so it was really relatable, I felt like I was right there with her. :P

Yay for Roxy! I love how she's a journalist who will be investigating the mystery, instead of an Auror or detective. It's a really neat perspective for solving a mystery, and I'm really excited to keep reading and find out what on earth is going on!

Great first chapter, Sian!! :D

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Review #21, by patronus_charm Piece #7

11th January 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥ Sorry for taking ages to get here!

I really like reading about the way the journalists interact with one another, because while there is this sense of friendliness amongst them with the way they go for after-work drinks, there is this sense of rivalry too, as they battle it out to be the best. It did make me laugh (though perhaps a little inappropriately), that despite the seriousness of the situation with a body being found, they can still make bets about it!

Whoops that was awkward with Dom, but I guess given how big the Weasley family is, it was sort of expected that Roxy was going to bump into a relative. Yay Dom’s a good person too! I thought she was going to start getting angry with Roxy with the way she was questioning her about why she was there, and nothing was confirmed but it was nice to see that they got on. I hope she appears a lot more in this story as she’s another next gen character who really doesn’t get enough limelight.

I really like how you’re building up Roxy’s life so everyone’s fits in together, as there’s the little trio of cousins with Roxy, Lucy and Dom, then Dom’s friends with Jane as they’re single together and now Roxy can join as her and Daniel are now more. It’s just nice that I now know them well enough to put them all together, and I can’t wait to see them all together because at the moment it’s just been Roxy with one of the others and never all together.

Hmm, so it definitely is Malcom then. I know I thought he might have played a part in his disappearance earlier, but I guess that isn’t the case now. I wonder what really went on with him, and whether this is connected to the war or something else. Either way, I can’t wait for the mystery to unravel further!

Oooh so someone else has disappeared! And it was an Abbot who reported it! I wonder if that’s Hannah but she decided to keep her maiden name when marrying Neville or another relative of hers. I really liked how we got a different perspective in this story again, because while I love Roxy, it does make it more interesting to have different perspectives as it adds more layers to the story!

-Kiana

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Review #22, by The Basilisk Piece #1

7th January 2015:
Sssalutationsss! Mind if I Ssslyther-in? (Laugh with me now, I'm actually hisssterical!)

One of the things that really stands out to me in this is your choice of words. I think that you're using unique, image-inducing terms that really draw the reader (or the Basilisk) into the story. "Dread worms its way through his body, creeping along his veins and consuming him." -- This, right here, is specifically one of my favorite examples of your excellent use of word choice. The dread really seems to come alive, personified by your eloquence, and lives up to the term 'consumption' in a very strong way.

Anyhow, back to the plot. The introduction leaves a lot of questions, which is perfect! I really need to know who the man is, who attacked him, and why they used the Imperius curse on him. Furthermore, what are they going to make him do?!

(Lousy garden gnomes ;)!) It must be disheartening to have your work crammed into a random corner of the paper :(. I'm sure that Roxanne will get her big story at some point, and she'll be able to make headlines (or perhaps it will cause her to head towards danger)! We'll just have to wait and find out.

Of course Violet is gossipy -- she has to contend with Rita Skeeter, Queen of Gossip and misleading articles ;). Understandably, that leaves Roxanne a bit perturbed, specifically by digging into her personal life.

;) Eh, what are co-workers for, anyway.

Oh, I love the fact that they've begun using the telephone.

O.o Oops! Caught chit-chatting by the boss. Technically, they were talking shop...

12 years is quite a while to be friends with somebody. You really couldn't hide anything from them, even if you wanted, could you? :( It sounds like Roxanne has her hands full at the moment, between dealing with her brother, Daniel.

Ah! And the introduction ties back in, and it looks like Roxanne's got the break she's been waiting for...and it has nothing to do with exploding teapots (haha, get it?)!

Thanksss ssso much for the wonderful read! Until next time~!

Author's Response: Argh, it's the Basilisk! *runs away and hides*

Hmm, well, maybe you're a much nicer creature than everybody has always said, if you're going round and leaving reviews for other members. Maybe I'll even revise my opinion of you, in time...

Thank you very much! I put a lot of work into the word choices in this chapter especially, and I'm really glad that you found the imagery in that section made the idea of the dread come alive for the reader (or you, dear Basilisk!) I'm really glad that the beginning left you asking questions, too - that was the intention!

Roxy definitely doesn't get the best stories at the moment, and she's not got the easiest work colleagues to deal with either.

I'm glad you like that detail!

Roxanne definitely starts this story with a lot on her plate - whether or not that will get any less as time progresses remains to be seen! And yes, everything ties together for the mystery to start. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, my dear Basilisk, and thank you for reviewing!


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Review #23, by Lady Asphodel Piece #2

4th January 2015:
Yes, yes! The mystery unravels. Did I tell you how much I enjoy your description? No? Yes? Well I'll say it again anyway! I love your way of describing!

First, I liked how you described the night sky! I mean, your description of the scene in general is marvelous, but I love the night sky imagery the most. I could really see it in my mind.

I really enjoyed the scene with Roxanne among other journalist and asking questions, even though she asks one. I feel her pain in being embarrassed and her disappointment.


I see we're digging into Roxanne's and Daniel's situation.


Moving onto the next chapter!


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi again, Alishya! I'm excited that you came back to read more!

I'm so happy you liked the description in this chapter! It was so fun to write that opening section and try to put down the images in my mind down on paper (or on the screen, in this case).

I'm glad you liked the questioning scene, and seeing Roxy in her place with the other journalists. She was certainly embarrassed and disappointed when her question wasn't answered - I would be!

And yes, you're getting a glimpse of the dynamics between Roxy and Daniel. I hope that you're still reading and enjoying the story - if you continue a few more chapters, you'll discover what happened between them! Thank you for your lovely review :D


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Review #24, by Lady Asphodel Piece #1

23rd December 2014:
Hey Sian!

Already the beginning lures me in! The description is so spot on!

I never read anything pertaining to Roxanne before, especially her as a protagonist. Already, I'm enjoying it! I'm getting the mood you're setting, and I can somewhat relate to her in terms of being a writer or enjoying the feeling of the keys under your fingers. It's comforting and relaxing.

I'm enjoying how you're subtly summarizing Roxanne's place in the setting and how her relationships with other characters such as Violet, Higgins, Bob, Jane etc.

I'm really enjoying the interaction between Jane and Roxanne. You're dialogue is so incredible! I fear of writing again eep!

Seriously though - it's great! It's like I'm watching tv. I am literally imagining that I can hear their voices.


You struck at my curiousity about Daniel and whatever else is wrong with the family.

And finally, Higgins makes use of Roxanne! I wonder what happened to the man from the beginning?

Really, this is just... utterly amazing! Great job in writing this!

Jigsaw is definitely a perfect title for this! :D

I've seen you've got more in store. I might just come back to read more of this!


Amazing job again! Your story definitely earned the recognition it deserves!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi Alishya!

I'm really glad that the description at the beginning manages to grab your attention for the rest of the chapter!

Roxanne is one of those characters, even in the next gen stories, that doesn't seem to be written about very often in fanfiction - so naturally, I want to write about her :P I'm glad you liked my portrayal of her here, and the way that I revealed information about her, and her position in the setting too.

I'm so glad you thought the dialogue between Jane and Roxy was realistic - I really enjoyed writing that scene, and it seemed to flow more easily than others in this story when I wrote it. I guess because it's the sort of conversation I'd have with my friends.

I'm not answering any questions you may have about that... you'll have to read on and find out :P

Yes, Roxy finally gets a story and you might be right in it being related to the man at the beginning haha. Thank you so much for this lovely review!


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Review #25, by Secret Santa :D Piece #3

22nd December 2014:
OMG I'm back Sian, your slightly-less-dedicated-than-I-should-be Secret Santa, determined to continue the Big Birthday Reviewing Blitz for you until it is 11:59pm my time (honestly, I'm a few hours behind you so I was sleeping through quite a bit of your birthday - sorry!

Okay so the first thing: "At the sound of my voice, Lily's brown eyes seem to instinctively find mind" was this supposed to say mine? I thought it might but if I'm wrong please tell me. :)

I loved this chapter so much! Intrigue, mystery, drinking in the middle of the day. Reporters and brothers and Knockturn Alley and press conferences and so many things.

Okay, so to start, j'adore Andy. He seems so sweet and an amazing role model. I love how you added in that he lived through the war and has 20+ experience over awful Miranda and that he is looked to for raises and promotions, because it means that someone is better than Miranda and won't hesitate to shut her down because I really don't like her already she seems like an absolutely awful person!!! Also, I love how Roxanne has a role model in the journalism business because as it seems so far, she doesn't have many people to talk to or to celebrate with!

The press conference was amazingly well-written and it felt like an actual press conference, and the fact that you added in the grieving wife was a nice touch, especially when you had Roxanne think about her and it was nice to see somewhat of a very human behaviour in a reporter who otherwise seems very interested in the case and solely the case - it really brought out Roxanne's character.

I'm so happy the other reporters asked Roxanne to come with them because yay! She's becoming part of the elite reporters! Although drinking at three in the afternoon? Not so smart. And Jensen? Ew he seems slimy and gross. Especially because he's supposed to be a reporter - someone who should be able to read body language - and he can't even tell that the blood status thing is a topic that really shouldn't be discussed? Ugh, please don't have Jensen in this story again. :(

Ooh and also - family feuds!!! Why is Lily so mad at Roxanne? Is it the Daniel thing? WHAT HAPPENED SIAN! TELL ME NOW PLEASE! Or don't, whatever, it's not as if this is killing me. (please?) Anyways, it was nice to see that even if Lily and Roxanne were fighting, it seemed that Lily was happy for Roxanne's success. No matter what, the Weasley clan can't be broken up!!! And then Fred? Did he not see Roxanne or was he actually ignoring her? I'm going with didn't hear her because why would Fred Weasley be going into Knockturn Alley??? Sian, you've got some 'splaining to do!

Anyways, this was fantastic, although I don't think I can whip up another review for you before midnight my time. :( I guess you'll just have to suffice with a little surprise I have waiting for you in the form of a 250 word or so snippet. :P Anyways again, this was another amazing chapter and I'm so mad I have to log off (metaphorically of course) soon and go off to sleep for tomorrow because I'm so excited for the next chapter. Seriously! I've been giving longer reviews than I normally do because I just can't stop gushing! Great job Sian, j'adore!

Secret Santa... ;)

Author's Response: Hello again!

You're right with that and I hadn't even realised that, so I'll go and correct that now! Thanks for pointing it out!

Miranda really isn't the nicest of people, and Roxanne's life certainly isn't made any easier by having to work alongside her. But I'm really happy you like Andy too - he's really nice and I loved writing him and the way he put Miranda down. Even she's not going to be able to argue with someone who's got that much background :P

The press conference was so difficult to write, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! I had to include the mention of Armstrong's wife, because I don't think that Roxy would be able to ignore her the way some of the more seasoned reporters maybe could do. And yay, she's getting more involved in the group! But haha, drinking at that time is definitely not smart when she's got work still to do. Unfortunately I can't make any promises about Jensen's further non-appearance, but I agree with your sentiments about him.

My lips are sealed :P There are plenty of things for you to find out if you continue reading this :P I'm not letting anything slip this early on in the story!

*hugs* Thank you so much for these wonderful birthday reviews AND the incredible story that you wrote me! You're the best ♥


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