Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
106 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ohpl Piece #24

8th February 2016:
I'm still reading this story and enjoying it. Can't wait for your next update.

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Review #2, by Regan Piece #24

7th February 2016:
Oh Roxy---you are in too deep!

Great chapter, compelling and tight. It's fun to see all the plot strings come together.
For so long Roxy has been going solo but now she's finally getting some (much needed) support and back up. Such a transition is really cool to read about.
Also, thanks of the cliff hanger! Eep and Ahhhs! So Roxy has a target on her back!
Super excited to see how it all pans out! -R

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Review #3, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #11

29th December 2015:
Hi again!

I was a bit confused by the opening scene, to be honest. I couldn't tell why everyone rushed for the doors as soon as Griffths fell. I wondered if people thought she'd been taken down by Dark Magic or something-- that was the only reason I could see for everyone fleeing. I hate to say it, but I feel like sports crowds are pretty enthralled by bad injuries. Everyone has to stand up and try to see through the mess of doctors and wonder about what's wrong and all that. And then the people who support the injured player's team are moaning about the setback, and the people who are against that team are secretly a little pleased. And Quidditch is a dangerous sport, with Bludgers and all, so injuries have got to happen all that time. I understand that this was an injury of a different magnitude, but I find it hard to believe the game would just be over, and the fans would pour out. They'd paid money for their tickets, after all. I feel like the scene might have made more sense if there was some formal announcement over the loudspeakers about temporarily suspending the game, something to indicate that there will be a big enough delay for people to get bored and go home. That, or maybe everyone stays, but Roxanne is so upset that Louis decides to take her home and they're the only two that leave.

Moving on, though, I LOVED the brief mention of Tinsworth. For some reason I'm constantly curious about the odd intersection of Muggles of wizards-- there must be so many interesting hybrid moments, like the ones in the town you described, and I find them fascinating. I know I've written about a shop that caters to both Muggles and wizards before, and I really like your take on it too. Small moment, but an exciting one for me!

My hatred of Miranda is just so... complete. You've really made her into a piece of work. I squirm so much whenever she's talking, and when Roxanne finally got a small strike back at her, I was thrilled. I was a little surprised at Violet's role in that section of the story though. At times she seems to be totally separate from the Miranda/Roxanne tiffs, and just there for entertainment. At other times, though, she seems to be genuinely on Roxanne's side. I have trouble figuring out why she could be rooting for Roxanne while still sitting back and watching the poor girl get so much abuse. I can see how someone who is truly there listening just for the fun of it could possibly root for the underdog while still wanting to see all the drama, but I still just get this sense that she really is sympathetic of Rose in a way beyond wanting the underdog to win in a battle.

So, so excited to finally hear more about the Jane mystery. You've been stringing it out for so long! Not to mention, I'm ready to learn more about Fred too, and maybe some more progress with Daniel... I really applaud you for juggling so many plot threads at once. You've done an admirable job. Wasn't Fred involved in some illegal potion mention a couple chapters back? Could that be linked to the newer illegal potions mentioned in this chapter? Maybe this is all even more entangled than I ever thought...

Great job on this chapter, nothing new there! Gonna do my darndest to get more caught up!

Author's Response: Hello!

Again, an exceptionally good point :P I feel like sometimes I really need someone to sound all these plot points off before I start writing it, because you're the first reader/reviewer to even mention that. I think you're right in thinking that it's more normal for people to be craning to get a view of the scene, but I kind of imagined it as people panicking about what was happening since there was no reason for it to happen - it was a bit different than just an injury. I'll definitely review that and try and edit the reactions to make more sense when I get chance to go through this story again.

Tinsworth was really fun to write about! It wasn't something I'd really planned to include, but one of those details that came to me when I was writing. I always enjoy including them because I find those details so interesting, but I do worry that other people won't. Now I want to read your story too!

Miranda is just... ugh. I don't think I've ever created a character that I've disliked as much. She's a bit like Umbridge, I guess, and I would be lying if I said that she isn't partly inspired by someone I know, as well. I don't think Violet is really rooting for Roxanne, exactly - more that she does enjoy her entertainment from their tiffs, but at times sometimes she thinks that Miranda goes too far. She's in a position where she's not afraid of stepping in and saying something, but a lot of the time she chooses not to so that she can have an easier life.

Juggling all of the different plotlines is something I've actually been really worried about! When I first began the planning for the story, Jane was spending a year in Australia for some unknown reason, and half of the side-plots didn't exist in any form, so I'm glad that there's enough happening in the story to keep you interested and that it doesn't feel like something one-dimensional.

I've said this each time now, but I do genuinely mean it: thank you so much for supporting this story and leaving such thoughtful and detailed reviews. It means a lot to me that anyone would take the time to do that and it's so encouraging to think that someone's still reading and enjoying this. Thank you so, SO much for these fantastic reviews! ♥


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Review #4, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #10

28th December 2015:
Aagh, sorry for being such an erratic reader. Would really like to make more of a dent in this story!

First off, maybe this is just an example of me being slow, but I feel like I'm only just beginning to appreciate how cool it is that this is a story about a murder mystery from a journalist's perspective. Don't laugh! I mean, obviously I know that that's what this is about. But it's just a unique place to be in for this kind of story. I've read plenty of detective novels before (I really really like this one set of companion novels by Tana French, I can't recommend them highly enough if you're into murder mysteries) but they're always from the point of view of the person assigned to solve the case. Here, we're getting it all from someone who also wants to solve the case, but who also is getting extremely little information from the actual people who know the case's details. You've done such a nice job with moving the story forward even though Roxanne is privy to so little on the murders. I'll chalk this "revelation" up to the fact that I'm returning to this story for the first time in two months.

I hate Miranda so much! At least villains are complex and interesting... she is just awful. (Not to say she's totally one dimensional! She's just, you know, a more minor but also more immediate foe than the real bad guys in the story) I was so mad when I read the line about her grabbing Roxanne's notes and then not letting Roxanne touch hers. You've really picked out some telling details to reveal her true colors.

I was intrigued about the moment where Roxanne mentioned that Miranda seemed disinterested in the case, and that such an attitude was out of character. For a moment I was confused, but then I thought: Okay, she must be putting on a show of disinterest for Roxanne, and trying to lead her on the wrong track, so that Miranda can pounce on some real information and keep it to herself in order to get all the glory. But then it was even worse than I expected when she got Roxanne thrown off the story! God, I was so upset.

I do find it a little strange that Miranda's the only one on both stories now, though. You'd think that now that the two biggest stories of the year are going full force, Higgins would at least replace Roxanne with someone else. I'd imagine he'd choose his true top writer and put him or her on it.

There was one image that was an unexpected and subtle bit of beautiful imagery: "as he folds his long limbs into his tall chair, I get the distinct impression of a spider curling up in its web."

I liked that you broke up the intenseness of the case and the dreadful surprise of Roxanne being thrown off the story with a more light-hearted Quidditch match. You wrote it really well, I was just about as on the edge of my seat as the characters. I liked how you wove in bits of backstory about the things, like the Cannons' one good player or the expectations for the game-- they all fit in fluidly with the actual action. And you even ended the chapter on a dramatic note that was unrelated to the main plot! You always seem to sneak something in there. ;) Well done.

I guess the real question now is what's going to happen to the case, in Roxanne's eyes, now that she's been formally removed from her role in it. I can only imagine, given that I'm not even halfway through the posted chapters, that she's going to get back in somehow-- and in a fashion that gets her right in the heat of things. Wouldn't want to read twenty chapters of her getting tiny snippets of information about nothing, would we? No, I feel like she's either going to get back on the story itself, by somehow ousting Miranda or getting a leg up from someone like Richard, or that she's going to find another way into the case. Something will happen with Daniel, maybe? That could be an interesting angle. That's kind of my hope, but, given that Roxanne is a journalist and a good deal of this story is invested in her journalistic career, my bet will be that she finds her way onto the story again. Can't wait to find out!

All in all, this was another great chapter, no surprise there. As always, the characters have been a joy; a good plot is one thing, and you definitely have that, but there's no way I would still be here if I weren't deeply invested in the characters as well. (Speaking of characters, still waiting to find out about Jane!!) Looking forward to digging even deeper into the story. I'll be back soon!

Author's Response: Ah, is it strange that I'm actually excited to be replying to this in a sort of reasonable time frame, since it's only a couple of days since you left it? :P

Ooh, I'll definitely have to check those books out - they sound really good, and I love a good detective story! I'm really pleased that you like the way that we get a very different perspective on this story with Roxanne being a journalist rather than a detective in the centre of the case; I've read a couple of stories and novels with private detectives and such who haven't been entirely privy to the police investigation, but none with a journalist trying to solve the mystery, so I'm glad that it seems unique but makes sense at the same time!

Miranda is really awful and horrible. She's seen Roxanne as a threat since she really joined the paper and hasn't let up in her campaign against her since then... but at the same time she's a very clever and shrewd woman and knows how to get what she wants from life, whether that's to date popular guys or, in this case, get Roxy thrown off the story.

That is actually a really good point. Ugh, I hate how many plot holes appear in this story without me even noticing them, but thank you so much for pointing them out!

This chapter was actually one I was really looking forward to writing when I planned out the story. Even though I've never written a Quidditch match before and I was nervous about writing it, the whole scene was fun to write and I liked including Louis and Dom here, and the little details about the match too.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm not sure if you realise how grateful I am or how fantastic a reviewer you really are, but thank you so much for supporting this story and taking the time to leave these reviews!


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Review #5, by StarFeather Piece #7

22nd December 2015:
Hi, Sian. Happy Birthday! (I sent a birthday message picture via twitter.)

I felt very comfy to be back to your story after reading Robert Galbraith's crime novel III, which is a great story but has so much tensed scenes. Your each word is music. I really respect your flow of words.

Two thoughts popped in my mind in this chapter.

1.What I'd like to tell you reading this story,is that I remembered how Galbraith(J.K.Rowling) portrayed the characters around the main character of the crime novel in her story. She described relationship between the main character, Cormoran and Cormoran Strike's friends or the culprits. You also set the episode of Roxy's cousins and her boyfriend, Daniel to describe the situation around the main character.

2.Just the thought popped up, I wonder it's one of style when the author writes the detective story that the main character suffers from unrequited love at the same time when she or he has to solve the mystery. Just the idea hit upon when I read the part Roxy remembered her bitter sweet memory of Daniel.

Ah! Roxy got closer to Simon Upton! I wish she will be able to find the solution to the case and she can be a star of the newspaper. And another victim? why?

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny, thank you for the birthday review! It's really sweet of you to stop by and leave me this :)

I'm so glad that you liked the story and that it was easy for you to get back into it - even after reading the latest Galbraith novel (which I still haven't read - you'll have to let me know what it's like!)

Wow, I can't even believe that my writing is being mentioned in the same sentence as JK Rowling's, especially as a positive comparison, because it's so complimentary and I'm just in awe. I don't even know what to say except thank you and I'm so glad that you like it!

Roxy certainly got closer to finding some more out about the case in this chapter and she'll continue to do so through the course of the story. If you get chance to keep reading this story you'll find out more about the next victim, too.

Thank you so much for stopping by to leave me this wonderful review!


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Review #6, by Randomcships Piece #23

11th December 2015:
Congrats for the milestone, you deserve it after putting so much effort into a great story and thanks so much for the shoutout. Good on Louis for speaking up and I hope nothing bad happens to him. I feel like the dismissal of Roxanne is giving more strength to Miranda as a possible suspect, what she stands to gain from this all is quite unclear, unless she also takes the potion. I feel like the attention towards Roxanne from the dealers will result in an attempt on her life or something equally dramatic. Great chapter and I look forward to the next.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, that's so sweet! I know I'm a bit (a lot) behind on responding to reviews (I'm working on clearing them all before the New Year, if possible) but I wanted you to know I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave a review when you read!

It was really difficult for Louis to speak up, but at this point he's really in a situation where he doesn't have much to lose. Whether or not Miranda is a possible suspect or if Louis's going to be okay, I can't really say, of course :P But there will definitely be more drama and unravelling coming soon!

Thank you again for all your lovely thoughts and support for this story!


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Review #7, by Randomcships Piece #22

2nd December 2015:
I loved how just when I thought I was getting at the suspects, the mystery unfolds even more and there are so many different characters and suspects and victims, that I honestly don't know who's behind all of it. I feel like it could be Paul or Daniel, Fred or even Charlie or (more likely) Miranda, which could be why she wanted Roxanne off the story. I love how you juggle the plots and subplots with the relationships and the family drama's and unique takes on the characters. With the way Fred keeps going his tanty over Roxy getting with Daniel, I wouldn't be surprised if he was in love with him and the way you weave it all together is great. I suspect Louis is in hospital because he took some of the drug or was targeted due to his connection with Roxy, which seems unlikely due to there being so many people Roxy is closer to. Looking forward to meeting Jess and I loved that you included Harry. Can't wait for your next update :)

Author's Response: Hehehe, I won't lie, I'm actually pretty happy that you're confused by this right now! That's exactly what I wanted to happen; there are a lot of threads to this mystery and there's a lot still to be unravelled. You're right in thinking that there are a lot of people who could be suspected, although whether they all should be or not, I couldn't possibly say...

I'm so happy you think that I'm doing a good job of juggling all the different plots and subplots! It's difficult because this is the first novel I've written and there's really so much going on that it's sometimes a bit overwhelming - I always worry people will get bored of one part of the storyline. It's so reassuring to know that you're enjoying the different plots and subplots!

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #8, by Ohpl Piece #22

30th November 2015:
Loved the chapter. Love the story as a whole. Can't wait for your next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you're still enjoying this story!

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Review #9, by Ohpl Piece #20

12th November 2015:
I love this story. It was terrific to have two updates so quickly.Can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: I'm definitely working on updating a lot more quickly recently - life is settling into much more of a routine which definitely helps. I did miss a week, but if you're looking for updates, try checking on Wednesdays and I'll try and have a new chapter up then! ;)

I'm so pleased you're enjoying this story and thank you for your support!


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Review #10, by StarFeather Piece #6

5th November 2015:
Hi, Sian. I saw your update status for Jigsaw, so I came back here.
 
Wow, in your magical world, they use Muggle mobile phone, it’s clever!

When I read these parts, “ so magical London is a little quieter, with the children back at school and the majority of tourists returning to warmer climes,”
I remembered when I visited Scotland like a picture I took, I saw some school children in their uniform.

Oh, was Simon Upton released without charge? So both Hitwizards and Aurors couldn’t find enough evidence to send him to Azkaban.

I feel pity for Roxanne, I wish she won’t be back to the previous boring articles.

Though there’re lots of your splendid descriptions, I like this sentence, too!! "Gringotts rises up ahead of me, the snowy white like peaks of mountains, almost disappearing into the haze of warm sunlight, dominating the wizarding skyline.”

And the next paragraphs are very intriguing. What happened to Jane? Is she missing?

I also like the description of Belby’s. We have the similar second hand book shops in my country, I could imagine how the bookshop was like.

I really like the episode why Roxanne became a journalist, “I’ve spent so many of my days off in here that they know me by name now,.. it’s not knowledge I’m searching for, but stories-even the faded inscriptions written inside a front cover tell a tale. My passion for stories is the real reason I became a journalist,”

And wow,wow, she met Daniel at her favorite bookshop, what a situation! After her letter, how would he react? With much expectation, we wait for his next move. And he nods! Even he suggested somewhere on Diagon Alley, there’s still hope they can go back together.

Oh, Daniel understands her well. “I always said that Higgins was an idiot for not giving you a bigger story before.” He cares about her.

“it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.” Reading this part, I nodded, too, wishing he would forgive her.

Her thought, “Upton possibly had for harming Armstrong is the recent promotion they were both competing for, which the latter eventually attained,” is correct but why did she feel a bit flimsy?

“I can see the glint in his eye that makes it clear he’s just thought of an idea, a sliver of the mystery becoming clearer to him as he talks it through with me.” This sentence is inviting us to the next chapters of your story. We wish Roxanne and Daniel will get together and solve the case.

When she told Daniel that she still did love him, I wished “Believe her!” And finally, he said, “I believe you.” Yes! But he said later, “I need time, Roxy,” oh again? No! If I were Daniel, I would forgive her. Oh, poor Roxy, she kept the tears from appearing in her eyes.

Sian, I really like how you ended this chapter. They will go to the spot where Armstong was found. I hope I’ll be able to be back to the next chapter, soon!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi again, Kenny!

I'm so glad you like the idea of the magical phones - I always worry about how readers will react to them because the technology is normally something people have very definite head canons about, so it's great that you like the idea. And I'm so pleased that the descriptions here helped you to remember your own experiences too, that means they seem realistic at least!

There's definitely not enough evidence to charge Simon Upton with anything yet, but I don't think the ordeal is quite over for him, either...

I'm really pleased you liked the scene with Daniel and Roxanne meeting in the bookshop and their interactions with each other. They're in a really strange situation right now and it's interesting to write the meetings and conversations between them.

I'm really glad you liked the ending of this chapter too, and that you enjoyed this and want to read on. Thank you for all the time you take to come and leave a lovely review on this story, I really appreciate your encouragement and support!


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Review #11, by cookies Piece #18

2nd November 2015:
Hi, i'm a new reader and i'm really really enjoying this story (perhaps the fact that i stayed up till like 4am reading up to this far might be some indication)

I like the way you write the Weasley family, and how you've characterised everyone so well and also how not everyone is introduced to in one go, characters come and go in a natural setting. I also love the tension between Roxanne, Fred, James and Lily, I applaud you for going against fanfic convention which is that everyone in the Wotter clan are always getting on wonderfully with each other. I'm particularly curious about Fred, and wonder if what ever he's getting up to is related to the potion problems. I feel like he's being extremely unreasonable and that Roxanne should stop feeling bad, she made a mistake but she's apologized for it and that should be the end of that especially since Fred's not even that involved.

I think it also shows how good you are at writing mystery in that i have no clue what's going to happen next! I like the little connections you've made, and it's clear you've planned the fic well so it's going to be great to finally know who's behind everything.

It was a bit harsh for Higgins to fire Roxanne like that but Miranda probably had some hand in it, poor Roxy, and poor Jane too but i admire Jane's spirit and think how her accounting training is actually quite funny- i would never have imagined her to take up something like that, ha! I like how you've emphasized on Roxanne's constant underlying feelings of wanting to do something that will make her just as successful as her cousins and parents and also the want to be independent. I really do hope Roxanne is the one to solve the mystery in the end, i'm not sure how she'll do that before the hit wizards but then again you've suggested that some ministry infiltration might be going on so maybe Roxanne will really take things into her own hands...

So so curious to find out what's going on with Richard too, i hope Roxanne pays him a visit some how. I love the supporting characters in the story like Vicky and her nail polish and Jenson and his creepiness and all the other journalists. Also love Al's story and his interest in history, very original! This review is much longer than i thought it'd be but it's probably because i was rambling for nearly all of it xD

Anyway update soon :)

Author's Response: Hi cookies! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this wonderful review (I've had quite a backlog lately, but I'm working on getting up-to-date so I can keep updating the story). You have no idea how much it means to me that you stopped to leave these fantastic comments, and the fact that you stayed up so late to read my story is so exciting!

I'm really pleased you like the Weasleys! I'm always worried about writing these characters - especially the ones that have been so popular in fanfiction - and it's great that you like my characterisation of them. I didn't want to conform with all the clichés in this story and tried to portray things more realistically. Fred is definitely being unreasonable with Roxy and there may or may not be something else going on here...

I'm so glad that you like the way I'm writing the mystery and that you don't know what's going to happen next! Before this novel, I'd only written a short story mystery so it's fantastic that I'm doing it well, since I didn't want people to know what was happening from the beginning.

Higgins definitely was quite harsh to fire Roxanne the way he did, but you're right in thinking that Miranda probably had some hand in it.

Roxy really does want to make her family proud and she feels quite inferior to other people in her family, even if they're not trying to make her feel that way, and she's really lacking in self-confidence. I think she has improved and grown quite a bit since the start of the story but at the same time, she's suffered quite a few knocks that have set her back too. As to whether she'll be the one to solve the mystery, I think you'll just have to wait and see...

I'm so glad you like the characters here and all the little plots going on as well. Thank you so, so much for stopping to leave such a detailed and thoughtful review, because it's so encouraging and I really appreciate it ♥


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Review #12, by StarFeather Piece #5

18th October 2015:
Hi, Sian!

Thank you for leaving kind review the other day. As you’ve written below, the mystery of Daniel and Fred have finally been revealed.
The House of Horrors is REAL. Jealousy makes people go mad.

The description of London skyline is superb! I imagined how it was like remembering that of Tokyo. We have the very same view: forest of tall buildings and pedestrians below look like ants indeed.

In the next paragraph, the culprit entered finally drinking expensive water of life, whiskey. I wondered what whiskey he was drinking. (I recommend him Yamazaki, Japanese expensive whiskey.) Then two men appeared from the green flames. Are they Hit Wizards? He knew who they were, glancing at them, I guess they may be members of Potter or Wealsey.

The reason why Roxanne and Daniel broke up was revealed, too. I could understand their complicated relationship. The man was too busy to spare time for his girlfriend and the woman was unhappy for his long absence. I had hunch that it would be more difficult for her to get back their previous relationship when Lily entered.

At the end, please let me mention your wonderful poetic expression. I’m very impressed by your work again. I love these sentences: the tiny ember of hope that I thought was extinguished the last time that I saw him reignites, a chain of maybes and what ifs floating through my mind.

I hope I can be back to the next chapter soon!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

I'm really glad that you liked the description of the London skyline! I'd love to go to Tokyo and see the city too!

I don't actually know much about whiskey, to be honest, but I suspect it would be a Scottish or Irish one if he's drinking it here :P I can't possibly say who the two men were, but you'll find out much more about it in later chapters.

I'm glad you could understand the reasons that Roxanne and Daniel broke up and you liked the explanation of what happened between them! And thank you so much for your lovely compliments and great review!


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Review #13, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #9

17th October 2015:
Wow, I'm sorry for my abrupt disappearance. Here I am, reviewing your last chapter and saying that I really look forward to reading each new chapter of this and that I can't stop thinking about it and then... I disappear. Truly, it had nothing to do with the story. :P I just got slammed when I went back to school and kind of faded away for awhile. But I'm going to do my best to fade back in now. And the first thing I'm doing on my way back in is returning to Jigsaw!

So anyway, here I am again. I love Roxanne's continuing ambition right at the start of this chapter. That line that she's going to be the one to find the link between the murder and the disappearance was fantastic-- all confidence. I really like this girl!

Small typo, just so you're aware: "The only ones who’ll benefit financially from his death are a number of Muggle charities, and it’s unlikely that they were involved; he has *non* family to speak of."

I like the way this story is beginning to play with the boundaries of the definitions of both journalists and detectives, and keeping an eye on where they overlap. On the one hand, you have the media, a profession often viewed as biased and intrusive. Then you have this image of the detective, who's usually more respected and more intelligent. And here you have Roxanne, technically a journalist but toeing the line of detectives and mystery solving. I don't know how much of that is intentional or just a natural extension of Roxanne's characterization, but it could be a really neat tension for you to play around with more if you're not purposefully doing it already. The references to Roxanne reading mystery novels and enjoying solving them halfway through were what initially caught my eye.

Loved this moment: "I had to resist the urge to point out that Armstrong’s death is an even bigger mystery that still is nowhere near being solved, over a week after his body was found. He had been rather tipsy by that point, after all." Pretty typical, hilarious nerd moment, when the doctor is more excited by the mystery substance than the mystery death. Made me smile.

Hmm... Odd that Fred darts suspiciously into an apothecary moments after Roxanne muses about illegal potions. Coincidence...? Or incriminating...? Guess I'll have to wait and see.

I think you tackled the complexities of the conversation between Roxanne and Daniel really well. At first I was a little surprised that you thought Daniel would be willing to talk casually about the case at all to Roxanne, but you quickly made it clear that there were a couple lines he couldn't legally cross and that he was trying very hard to keep them in place. And you also did a nice job of invoking Roxanne's genuine curiosity in the case rather than some evil journalistic greed to land a scoop. If anything, all of that shows that there is some basic level of trust between the two of them, even if, professionally, they're limited to what they can discuss.

At the same time... Throughout Daniel and Roxanne's conversation, she does a lot of analyzing. Most of it seems to be either analyzing his physical movements or expressions and then interpreting (which shows us how well she knows him) or otherwise she's worrying about and overanalyzing everything either of them does in order to try and see where their relationship stands. I totally get that Roxanne must know Daniel well, and I totally get that anyone in her situation would do the same amount of overthinking and overworrying. But at the same time... As a reader, I began to wish there was a little less analysis, just so that I could try and interpret some of the things on my own. It seemed like every single time either character opened their mouths, Roxanne was thinking about something and we heard about it. I wonder what would happen if, from time to time, you just gave us two to three lines of dialogue without any added inner monologue, and let the reader run with it. Just a thought. And I'm sorry that this semi-contradicts what I just said in the previous paragraph. :P I'd be happy to talk about in more detail if you ever want to, or if I notice it again in later chapters.

That said, the two dramatic endings in quick succession worked really well. The interruption from Paul Jordan was really well done, such a quick change in pace that really got things moving. And then the real chapter ending, well, of course that's exciting too. And I'm thrilled that Richard called Roxanne personally, instead of just waiting for Miranda. Neat!

Anyway, I hope this is the start of a much more regular bout of reading and reviewing, and of more regular time spent on hpff in general. Looking forward to the next chapter. Great job with this one!

Author's Response: Honestly, you have nothing to apologise for ♥ I know exactly what it's like when uni gets on top of me, and my updates haven't exactly been consistent lately either, nor have my responses to these reviews. Thank you for coming back to this story, nevertheless!

I think that Roxanne is definitely starting to become more confident in this story - she's often so doubting and unsure of her talent, but the opportunities she's had so far are giving her some belief in what she can do. It's really fun to write about.

There's a lot of things to play around with when it comes to the distinctions between journalists and detectives, and I'm aware that I'm kind of reversing the traditional roles a little bit here with this story, which is fun to do. I think there's definitely some sort of overlap between them and it's fun to play around with - I'm not sure how much more I really go into it, to be honest, but it's cool that you noticed something I've been playing with a bit!

As for Fred, well, I couldn't possibly comment...

I think for Daniel, it's kind of strange because up till now he's had Roxanne there and been able to talk to her about the cases that are going on if he needs to. A lot of the time he wouldn't reveal so many details but she's aware of a lot of things already, so it's quite easy for them to slip into that routine again which they're so familiar with; there are lines he can't cross though. I think he knows Roxy well enough to trust that she's not going to write about it for the paper, but it's still a difficult conversation at times.

No, that's completely valid and I'm seriously so grateful for the CC here! I'm always really aware that I can improve as a writer (because nobody's perfect and I'm very far from it), and this extended narrative is something I'm not really used to keeping up for a novel-length story. The fact that there's too much analysis on Roxy's part makes a lot of sense to me, and I can understand how that would be frustrating as a reader because I'm telling you far too much. In the more recent chapters I've written, I've definitely tried to pare that down and be a little more concise (I'm aware that I have a very verbose style :P) so hopefully that works, but thank you so much for those comments because I'd never even have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out. If you get to the more recent chapters and think that there's still too much analysis I'd really appreciate you telling me so I can work on it more! ;)

I'm glad that the two dramatic endings in quick succession worked! I always worry about whether it seems like too much, especially when I use multiple cliffhangers in a row, but I'm glad it worked here.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed reviews on this story - they're really so fantastic!


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Review #14, by Holly Piece #18

4th October 2015:
Gosh and the plot thickens! Love the mystery and Roxy turning into a detective. Would be really cool if she does some snooping! Can't believe Daniel is leading her on and Fred isn't talking to her, she didn't do anything serious - plus she lost her job, hope things look up for her soon! Love the story and intrigue, can't wait to read what happens next :)

Author's Response: The plot does indeed thicken! If you get the chance to read on, it thickens even more, as well ;) You'll definitely get the chance to see Roxy doing some more snooping and playing detective in the story - she's not got much else to do now that she's lost her job and she's really determined to get to the bottom of what's happening here!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review on this story - it really means a lot!


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Review #15, by Randomcships Piece #17

19th September 2015:
Yay you updated :D
I really want to say this chapter was amazing. I mean, it was frustrating at times with Roxanne not standing up for herself to the others (for goodness sake, it was only a dance and Rox didn't even know Paul and Dan knew each other, their making it into too big of a deal for one silly dance). Having said that, I really love how fluffy this chapter was, I really couldn't stop smiling. Hope the marathon went well and I look forward to your next update.

Author's Response: I did! And updates will be coming a lot more quickly now, hopefully - I did survive, thank you :P I'm not sure how, though...

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this chapter, too! Your continued support for this story is so amazing and really encourages me to keep writing - I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you for reviewing!


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Review #16, by TidalDragon Piece #4

2nd September 2015:
My favorite thing about this installment was how it gave Roxanne some new dimension. We've seen how she's been learning on the job still and growing in confidence working her new story among the new circle she's begun traveling in after grinding away unrecognized for years. But here we see the impact it's had on her personal interactions. Though the potential was always there being George's daughter, she's developed quite a clever tongue, evading and deflecting, twisting around issues and deceiving with ease.
It's not particularly flattering, but what I like about it is how AUTHENTIC that is. It's easy to write perfection or imperfection - the absolutes. It's harder to write both in the same person, especially in first-person because of the blinders that individual will have about themselves that make it more of a challenge to have both strengths and weaknesses show clearly. You did an excellent job of it.

Of course, I can't conclude my review without mentioning the glimpse we get of the person and place I can only assume are holding Malcolm. Enticing in its ill-defined state, but chilling in the detail we are given - I wouldn't want to be there that's for sure.

Looking forward to seeing how the story continues to develop as I continue to chug along!

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you like the way that Roxanne is growing and developing in this story already. There's a lot more to go but she's becoming more confident already.

I'm not sure that the clever tongue is necessarily just recently developing - she's always been quite quick when it comes to her parents and family and friends, but she's learning now to use that with people at work so that she can get her way more. She's not really used to having to deal with people in the same capacity, about something so serious, so it's really interesting to see her grow that way.

You honestly have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that! It may not be particularly flattering for Roxanne, but I wanted to create a character who seems REAL in this story - someone who has their flaws and talents, who struggles and doesn't have the perfect life (because I get so frustrated when I'm reading stories with twenty-somethings having a perfect life when it's so rare in real life) and I'm so happy that Roxy comes across that way to you!

Thank you so much for this fantastic review!


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Review #17, by TidalDragon Piece #3

2nd September 2015:
It was interesting to see how Roxanne seemed to learn from her previous experience that point I brought up, that what gets avoided can signal clearly that it's more important to the speaker in these situations than what is actually said. Despite what happens in the bullpen with Miranda & Co. it's neat to be taking these lessons along with her and seeing her react and already become more confident. She has that drive about her that she knows the job has to get done too and though she's professionally motivated to do so, I think you're doing a good job underscoring how her background and unique perspective may help with that. She's obviously impressed the pool enough to get asked to the pub with them directly unlike Collins, who feels more like an unwanted tag-along.

The family dynamics you've mentioned are also intriguing me. Though they're never too heavy, serving instead as the delicious seasoning on the steak that is your story they've definitely piqued my interest - even more so with Lily - because the anger toward Roxanne appears quite firm at the moment, yet simultaneously vague. Given your talents I find myself asking the whether it's relevant to the major arc's resolution or a mystery within a mystery to distract us instead while developing Roxanne. We shall see...

The one thing I did note - and this is a personal preference probably more than anything, so just ignore it if you like - was the place at the top where you wrote "I don't need to add..." That always sticks out to me in writing as drawing attention to something that, if you're using that prefacing language, truly may be unnecessary. Here, I can see where you both wanted to break the dialogue there probably - and perhaps add to Roxanne's voice with an aside-like comment, but it just stuck out to me in a "meh" sort of way.

A minor minor and highly subjective thing anyway though in another excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Roxanne is definitely learning through the different things she does on this job, and it's all going to be a really big learning curve for her - not only professionally, but she'll learn a lot about herself as well. I'm glad you like the way that she's improving and developing through the story already. She's definitely managed to impress the others, although her name probably helps too - and Collins definitely isn't one of the most wanted people :P

I'm glad that the family dynamics are intriguing for you! They'll come into play a lot more in the later chapters of this story but I'm glad that there's something interesting about them for you!

That's a really good point, thank you! I definitely need to go through this story - particularly the earlier chapters - and tidy up the writing in it, because I'm aware there's a lot of superfluous prose in it that I can probably edit out. I'll try and clear that up when I get the chance to edit!

Thank you for yet another wonderful review!


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Review #18, by TidalDragon Piece #2

2nd September 2015:
Howdy Sian! By now you must've begun the think you'd never find me haunting the hallowed grounds of your story after all. But I have finally prevailed against my untimely illness and so here I am!

The first thing I MUST comment on is the semi-colon. I always notice them because they're so infrequently used and seemingly so difficult for most to get right, but you killed it...even if this particular semi-colon was relatively innocuous (I think). As they say: "Each semi-colon brings up closer to the top..."

Anyhow, the legitimately most amazing thing about this chapter was the descriptions. Seriously, I need to discover the fountain from which you draw these things because you're so talented at setting a scene and giving us just enough detail to be there and feel it, but not so much that it robs us of the opportunity to imagine elements for ourselves.

As far as the plot goes, I thought you did an excellent job of advancing the story here while still advancing Roxanne (NOT Rose, like I so foolishly put in my first review :p) as well. That's a difficult thing to do when you're dealing with a mystery because there's this incredible temptation to dial in so deeply into the procedure and planting seeds you'll later need and little discoveries that the character can get lost when that person is also an investigator of sorts. But you didn't permit it. By focusing on Roxanne's learning and her relationships with people present as well as pouring the concrete you showed us important parts of her current incarnation - observant, instinctive, determined, hopeful, professionally insecure.

I can't help but wonder if the latter made her misinterpret completely the propriety of her question. It can be read in a number of ways, and I suppose the story bears it out, but I think when you're dealing with authority figures, often the question that doesn't get answers is the most important one and that seemed to show in the tone and delivery of the response she received. So I hope Roxanne realizes that and doesn't shy away and turn into a pack-follower in the future. After all, the greats always find a way.

Anyway, I can't wait to see how this develops - I'm on the Chapter 3!

Author's Response: Hi Kevin! Thank you so much for stopping by here again!

Haha I hadn't even noticed that I use the semi-colon that often (not often enough to comment on :P) but I'm glad that I got it right!

Ah, you're far too nice to me (again!) but thank you so much - I'm really glad that you like the descriptions I use. I always try and set the scene as well as I can and it's great to know that it's paid off.

Hehe I didn't want to mention that :P I'm really glad you thought I did a good job of developing Roxanne's character and the plot of the story at the same time. These sections are actually some of the ones I'm most nervous about because I really want to portray it realistically but I'm very aware that I don't have real experience of these moments too. I'm glad that you liked the way that I wrote about it.

I think you might be onto something with the idea that idea that her question might actually be a very important one. Roxanne isn't at all confident in herself here, and so she's not likely to assume that she's done okay, but she could well have asked a very pertinent question...

Thank you so much for your review, Kevin!


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Review #19, by StarFeather Piece #4

31st August 2015:
#Last Spurt @ Review NaNo 5/ 21

Hi, Sian. I came back to your Roxanne. The fame that she was also a member of Weasleys seemed to be her burden, but at the same time the name may be her tool for interviewing people for her report. I reckon she wants to stand by herself but reality is she is still a nameless reporter. I could understand how she felt optimistic when the young works stopped to answer her questions. It’s very hard to attract the other’s attention especially when you’re on work.

The description about Archie, you compared to a golden Labrador, is interesting. I felt happy for Roxanne when she succeeded in pulling information from the young workers. Your description of the two was excellent, too. I visualized each character in my mind and enjoyed her questioning them.

Then you inserted the scene of torture. I wonder how you visualized the scene. Have you ever written about the crime scene before? I think it’s well written. I wondered if the man who was punished was the missing man.

I smiled at the description George still called her pumpkin and there’re different vegetable names more. I learned you even say “Daughters today,” we have the similar expression here.

Thank you Sian for sharing your imagination filled with love towards George and Angelina. I could imagine how George became a father and I became happy to find the mischievousness remained inside him. You infused your picture of George's family with life.

Still the question why Fred and Roxanne argued over something isn’t answered. I’ll be back at the next chapter!

Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny! Thank you for coming back - I'm sure that Roxy is also very grateful!

Roxanne is really frustrated with her surname a lot of the time; she doesn't want to get ahead just because of her family, but at the same time she knows that things are going so bad for her she has to use what tools she has.

I'm really glad that you liked the descriptions of the younger workers and the way that Roxy managed to get some information from them. I hadn't actually planned that scene at all, but I'm so glad it worked :)

I don't think I have really written about a crime scene before - it's interesting to imagine. I'm glad that you thought it was well-written.

I'm so pleased you liked my depiction of George and Angelina! I didn't plan on writing about them at first but the scene seemed to really fit in well. Since I don't normally write about major canon characters, I always wonder if I've managed to do it well. And it's so cool that you also have a similar expression to 'Daughters today' in Japanese!

Thank you so much for a fantastic review!


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Review #20, by Randomcships Piece #16

31st August 2015:
I saw you'd updated and I just sped over to the latest chapter and I liked this chapter. It felt a bit filler cos there wasn't as much action as the previous chapters but in a good way like sitting down after a bit of a jog. I feel like it was good because we got lots more information about the mysterious potion. I really love how you set the stage and your characterization of Dominique is quite unique and very consistent. Roxanne is my favorite next-gen character and I really love that not much has been going her way for quite a bit of this story because it makes it a lot more compelling and I like how well you've set the stage so the answer isn't immediately obvious but give just enough information at just the right times to keep us guessing. Also, just wanted to say this, I love how throughout this entire story, your characterization of all the characters has remained consistent and your spelling and grammar was nothing short of on point.

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, it's so exciting that you're excited about this story, and your reviews really encourage me to keep writing, so thank you :)

I think this chapter was a bit of a filler - there has been quite a bit of action in the last few chapters, but at the same time I do try to include lots of hints and details in these chapters that will help to solve the mystery, even if they're not immediately obvious.

I'm so pleased that you like Roxy's characterisation! She's definitely been struggling a lot in this story and I really wanted it to seem realistic, since I think we all have those periods of life when nothing seems to go our way, so I think she's quite relatable for that? I really have grown to love her (even though she can be quite frustrating at times) and it's great that readers do too!

Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the lovely compliments on my writing - they mean a lot!


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Review #21, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #8

30th August 2015:
Back for Piece #8! Also, congrats on your latest update, it's always satisfying to be able to post a new chapter. My goal is to be able to get to the point where I can be the one to leave the first review on a new chapter-- we'll see how I do, depending on your writing speed and my reading speed, but there you have it ;)

You continue to do such a nice job with your portrait of the life of a journalist. I'm not a professional journalist or anything, so I can't exactly critique you on that, but I do continue to enjoy the little details you tack onto various parts of Roxanne's job. When you mentioned the reactions of Upton's friends to her digging, I really felt like I understood her predicament. And when you described Roxanne churning out an article even though it had no new information and was pressing a point that she didn't really believe in, I felt like I got a little bit of a look into the way that the media can push things out of proportion.

A pretty minor point-- when Roxanne is talking to her dad about his business, part of the dialogue was oddly repetitive. First, he mentions something about Bonfire Night then jumps to Skiving Snackboxes, but then a moment later, he jumps back to Bonfire Night as if he hadn't already mentioned it. I don't know if that's just something that popped up because you wrote the conversation in more than just one sitting, but as a reader, it feels a little disjointed.

Overall, I think you handled the family scene very well. That moment when George intervened, with the comment about how important family is, was a really poignant one. That said, I am a little confused by Fred's behavior. It seems very... blunt? I guess I'm surprised at how hostile he's being in a family setting. I'd imagine him to be a little more polite, for the family's sake-- for instance, being curt but not silent with Roxanne, and then, maybe when the parents leave the room, that's when he gets super surly and uncooperative. But I'm not exactly an expert on family feuds, and I still enjoyed reading it, so I guess I'm split.

I was SO nervous that Miranda had gotten to start covering Roxanne's story! And even now, as I assume the two disappearances truly are connected, I'm nervous that they're going to be competing for a single slot on a story. I'm also incredibly curious that you brought up blood status again... Either something very nasty is going on with these disappearances, or you're leading us in the wrong direction on purpose. :P

And WHAT is going on with that final scene? Gah, just when I think I'm on top of everything, you pop something else in. My first guess is that it has something to do with how odd Jane has been acting, and that Jane could be the young women in question. But that's pretty much a shot in the dark.

As always, I feel like I only have good things to say about your writing. Reading this story has been part of me slowly involving myself back in hpff after being pretty absent for awhile, and for the moment this is the only story on the site that I'm reading... Earlier today I found myself thinking, Gosh, I really can't wait to go and read the next chapter of Jigsaw! I'm honestly treating it like any physical book I'm reading, with me really looking forward to coming back to continue getting know the characters. So you should definitely know that you're doing something right here.

Author's Response: Ah, that would be wonderful! There are about seven chapters left to post, I think, and I had aimed to have the whole story completed by now, but life got in the way so it may take another few months for me to finish...

I'm not a professional journalist either - and I've never even studied it or anything - but I'm glad that it seems believable and you like the way that I'm portraying Roxanne's work as a journalist. There are certainly quite a lot of moral predicaments involved in journalism, I think, and she's facing those more and more now she's reporting on a story that isn't just a minor, insignificant piece.

Again, thank you so much for pointing that out! This whole story needs editing, I'm sure, particularly these chapters as I didn't take as much time on them before posting as the first couple, and when I get chance to go through these reviews are going to help me so much on pinpointing the parts I can improve. I'll be honest and say I hadn't even realised it jumped around like that, so I'll definitely try and change that.

I imagine Fred as quite a stubborn character, and even though his behaviour might seem a little surprising, I think he's in one of those moods where even his parents' influence can't really temper his attitude towards his sister. That sort of thing definitely happens in my family (though not usually with a family feud, luckily!) so I'm hoping it's not completely unrealistic. I will definitely have a look at that aspect too, though, because I really want people to be able to relate to this and for it to make sense.

I couldn't possibly say whether or not the blood status is something you should take note of, could I? That would be giving far too many things away... ;)

Thank you so much! Honestly, I can't tell you how much your lovely reviews mean to me, even though I've been so terrible replying to them. It's making me so excited that you want to keep reading this story and I hope you keep enjoying it. Thank you again!


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Review #22, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #7

25th August 2015:
Hi again! I'm back!

First off, I think it was really interesting that you had some Muggles be present at the crime scene. A small thing, I know, but I think I may have already mentioned that I find wizard-Muggle interactions fascinating, and this is just the sort of thing that makes a lot of sense; of course Muggle are going to stumble over wizard crimes from time to time. It was a nice touch.

It's also so cool the way you're weaving all of the Next Gen children into this! I love how Roxanne runs into her cousins wherever she goes-- it's done so much more subtly than the usual "The Potter-Weasleys run around Hogwarts together making mischief" stories. It's really interesting to see all the jobs you've dreamed up for them, and how they seem to get slowly pulled into this case no matter what.

Once again, you've done SUCH a good job portraying all the nuances of Roxanne's emotions. I feel like I get her so much. The way you have her thoughts jumping around when she talks to Dom, the guilt and the desire to solve the case all jumbling around... It's so good!

Yes, Dom thinks like I do! The jealousy scenario seems like a very possible one. Still, Jane's extended absences do seem a little odd.

I'm really curious about how Richard has been doing throughout this chapter. I was so frustrated when Roxanne didn't get the chance to respond to him before Mockridge came out! You're doing such a good job of continuing to bring back the smaller characters, and reinforcing their unique roles in the story. It makes the story that much stronger, having a familiar cast of supporting characters who pop up every now and then to really round out a scene.

Wow, that death ended up being extremely chilling. The "T" on the hand is just... frightening. Really reminiscent of the Dark Mark, even if it's on a victim instead of one of the attackers. Of course we, the readers, have understood for a little while now how dark this mystery really is, but seeing it through Roxanne's eyes makes it that much creepier. So, good job on taking what is almost old information for us and making it feel fresh.

A word on the first sentence of Roxanne's article: "The body that was yesterday discovered, washed up on Coombe Beach, nearby to the Armstrong residence, has now been formally identified as that of Mr Malcolm Peter Armstrong, aged 42 years." The sentence just seemed very... long. Lots of commas and all that. It was good in that it did what the opening line of an article is supposed to do, and introduces all the most relevant details in one go, but I feel like there could be a smoother way of writing that sentence. Something like, "Authorities have identified the body of Malcolm Armstrong, 42, which was discovered last night on a beach near his residence in town X"?

Gah, as if enough hadn't already happened in this chapter, now you bring up ANOTHER disappearance! No way! And this one's so odd as well... Who are Abbott's superiors, and why is she going against their wishes in reporting this? Why is she so upset? How is this connected to Armstrong? Ahhh.

Well, it was another extremely strong chapter, and I'm only getting more and more invested in the story as it continues. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi again! And thank you for returning to this story!

The interactions between wizards and Muggles are really interesting to me, and I love working out how the two worlds live side-by-side. I think some fics forget how small a wizarding community (relatively) exists in Britain and so it's always fun to weave the two worlds together.

Yay, I'm glad you like the way I'm writing the Next-Gen children into this story! I really wanted them to be mentioned (I mean, it wouldn't seem like fanfiction if it was just a cast of OCs, would it?) but I didn't want to just throw a load of the characters in because I could. I'm pleased they seem to be placed appropriately and that you like seeing them drawn into the case with Roxy.

Roxy's so fun to write - I'm really enjoying her as a character and it's so fantastic that other people like her too.

I think you're probably the first person to notice anything about Richard's behaviour in this chapter (at least to comment on it) - obviously I can't say much but it might be worth keeping an eye on...

That's a really good point, thank you so much for that! I don't have a beta reader (mostly because I'm so inconsistent with writing and updating) so sometimes it's really easy to miss your own errors and mistakes. It's really helpful when you point things like that out!

Yes, another disappearance! You'll get to find out more soon, but I'm so pleased you're still enjoying this story. Thank you for yet another fantastic review! ♥


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Review #23, by MargaretLane Piece #15

18th August 2015:
Poor Roxanne. Not that being single is necessarily a bad thing, but it seems like it's not what she wants at the moment. Personally, I think she is much, MUCH better off without Daniel, but it's obvious she doesn't see it that way. And losing a job is always upsetting. Probably not as catastrophic at 23 as it would be if she were ten years older, with children and a mortgage, but that's probably not much consolation at this point.

Good on Jane. Now that she knows what she wants, I hope it works out for her.

That really is a horrible dilemma to be in - she can't get a job without a reference and she really needs another job to get a reference.

Paul seems like a decent guy. He'd have every right to be annoyed about the way she ignored him. And I like the way he seems genuinely sympathetic about her break-up, regardless of his personal opinions.

And I'm really glad she's starting to see that while she made mistakes, it wasn't just her fault. She really had been glossing over Daniel's part in things and his faults to a point that was almost worrying. It was like she felt she had to apologise for his mistakes as well as her own. I hope she comes to realise that he has a few apologies to make - and some explanations to do to people like Fred about the fact he was wrong about her cheating - if they are to get back together. And at the moment, he doesn't even seem that invested in getting back with her, let alone willing to make amends.

When you refer to the teams they both support, you've written "he two teams" when it should be "the two teams."

Poor Roxanne. But I'm sure George at least will understand. After all, his own early career choices didn't exactly strike his mother as the best ideas. Sticking to the rules in order to please authority and keep your job isn't exactly something I'd see him being too concerned about.

Author's Response: I think it's really difficult for Roxy because she's never really been single as an adult. For her it's like learning how to live more independently, and with everything else going on, she's not doing a great job at that. If she was able to move on and occupy herself with different things, she'd probably have a much better chance of moving on from her past relationship.

The moment with Jane wasn't really planned, but I'm glad that she's decided what she wants and that she now has some direction to go in.

I think that realisation that it's not just her to blame for everything that's happened between her and Daniel is part of how she's starting to grow and develop through this. She's not in a great position with her personal relationships with people, but I think she's got some other things to concentrate on now, and now that Jane is back in her life properly she'll have less reason to blame herself, I think. Nothing helps like a good friend :)

Thank you for the typo, and for the great review!


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Review #24, by MargaretLane Piece #14

18th August 2015:
Roxanne's reaction to the ostentatiously upper-class ambiance reminds me a little of when we were in college (or "university") and we had some talk about post-graduate study in one of the staff areas and felt sort of out of place.

I LOVE the details about the limitations of the phones.

Coincidentally, the first chapter of my 3rd year story which I've recently posted has my characters talking about how Muggles should make a Quidditch computer game and stuff. And about how unused a lot of wizards are to Muggle technology.

Hmm, there's something odd about Prichard's reaction. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm sure it's relevant. His change of demeanor has to mean something.

OK, no, I really DIDN'T expect that ending. But it might turn out to be a good thing. She's now free to pursue what she wants to. And if she DOES get some information about these murderers, I'm sure the papers would be fighting to buy her story.

Author's Response: That was kind of based on some of my experiences from the beginning of university; not so much the places but the idea that people are judging you because of the money that you have. It's not a nice feeling to think you're inferior and it's hard to get past, but I really wanted to show that she's growing in confidence a bit.

I'm so pleased that you like the details about the phones! I thought it was something that could be interesting and even important to include because I wanted there to be a plausible explanation for the phones, rather than me just including them because I wanted to.

Hmm, I definitely think you might be onto something with your perception of Pritchard's reaction...

I'm glad that the ending was unexpected! I didn't want people to predict it, and it certainly changes what's going to happen with her investigation of the murders.

I'm really pleased you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for another lovely review!


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Review #25, by MargaretLane Piece #13

18th August 2015:
Firstly, apologies for the delay on getting to this. I'm still catching up on fanfiction.

I wish this wasn't something that needed to be said, but I really like the way she isn't too enthusiastic about dressing up. So many stories act like dressing up to go out is the highlight of every woman's existence. And it annoys me when that doesn't seem to fit with anything else we've seen of the character.

I also really like the introduction of a character who hasn't had a boyfriend or girlfriend. And a couple of characters who are single.

And I don't see why Dominique can't stay single forever. Plenty of people do.

Molly seems to take after her dad in a lot of ways.

Author's Response: Please don't apologise! Like I said, I'm super behind on review responses, let alone reading and reviewing, so it means a lot that you're even here at all :)

I'm glad you liked that little aspect of her - it's something that frustrates me, too, because there are so many characters who suddenly get this makeover and it's really strange and doesn't make much sense for the character. It's probably something that Roxy and I share :P

Dominique can definitely stay single forever, if she wants to - it was more meant to be a comment about her mother's expectations than my own. And I really wanted to include some characters that are still single - it's definitely an age when people start pairing off more, but it's also an age of change and break-ups naturally happen and there are still plenty of people who don't have boyfriends or girlfriends too, and there's nothing unusual about that. I really wanted to include that in the story because I'm trying to make this story as realistic as possible and that's something that definitely happens in real life.

Molly is certainly like her dad. She's actually in another of my stories that I really want to rewrite at some point (my first fanfiction, which was terrible!) and her and Lucy definitely conflict over a few things.

Thank you for another lovely review!


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