Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lady Asphodel Piece #1

23rd December 2014:
Hey Sian!

Already the beginning lures me in! The description is so spot on!

I never read anything pertaining to Roxanne before, especially her as a protagonist. Already, I'm enjoying it! I'm getting the mood you're setting, and I can somewhat relate to her in terms of being a writer or enjoying the feeling of the keys under your fingers. It's comforting and relaxing.

I'm enjoying how you're subtly summarizing Roxanne's place in the setting and how her relationships with other characters such as Violet, Higgins, Bob, Jane etc.

I'm really enjoying the interaction between Jane and Roxanne. You're dialogue is so incredible! I fear of writing again eep!

Seriously though - it's great! It's like I'm watching tv. I am literally imagining that I can hear their voices.


You struck at my curiousity about Daniel and whatever else is wrong with the family.

And finally, Higgins makes use of Roxanne! I wonder what happened to the man from the beginning?

Really, this is just... utterly amazing! Great job in writing this!

Jigsaw is definitely a perfect title for this! :D

I've seen you've got more in store. I might just come back to read more of this!


Amazing job again! Your story definitely earned the recognition it deserves!




- Asphodel

 Report Review

Review #2, by Secret Santa :D Piece #3

22nd December 2014:
OMG I'm back Sian, your slightly-less-dedicated-than-I-should-be Secret Santa, determined to continue the Big Birthday Reviewing Blitz for you until it is 11:59pm my time (honestly, I'm a few hours behind you so I was sleeping through quite a bit of your birthday - sorry!

Okay so the first thing: "At the sound of my voice, Lily's brown eyes seem to instinctively find mind" was this supposed to say mine? I thought it might but if I'm wrong please tell me. :)

I loved this chapter so much! Intrigue, mystery, drinking in the middle of the day. Reporters and brothers and Knockturn Alley and press conferences and so many things.

Okay, so to start, j'adore Andy. He seems so sweet and an amazing role model. I love how you added in that he lived through the war and has 20+ experience over awful Miranda and that he is looked to for raises and promotions, because it means that someone is better than Miranda and won't hesitate to shut her down because I really don't like her already she seems like an absolutely awful person!!! Also, I love how Roxanne has a role model in the journalism business because as it seems so far, she doesn't have many people to talk to or to celebrate with!

The press conference was amazingly well-written and it felt like an actual press conference, and the fact that you added in the grieving wife was a nice touch, especially when you had Roxanne think about her and it was nice to see somewhat of a very human behaviour in a reporter who otherwise seems very interested in the case and solely the case - it really brought out Roxanne's character.

I'm so happy the other reporters asked Roxanne to come with them because yay! She's becoming part of the elite reporters! Although drinking at three in the afternoon? Not so smart. And Jensen? Ew he seems slimy and gross. Especially because he's supposed to be a reporter - someone who should be able to read body language - and he can't even tell that the blood status thing is a topic that really shouldn't be discussed? Ugh, please don't have Jensen in this story again. :(

Ooh and also - family feuds!!! Why is Lily so mad at Roxanne? Is it the Daniel thing? WHAT HAPPENED SIAN! TELL ME NOW PLEASE! Or don't, whatever, it's not as if this is killing me. (please?) Anyways, it was nice to see that even if Lily and Roxanne were fighting, it seemed that Lily was happy for Roxanne's success. No matter what, the Weasley clan can't be broken up!!! And then Fred? Did he not see Roxanne or was he actually ignoring her? I'm going with didn't hear her because why would Fred Weasley be going into Knockturn Alley??? Sian, you've got some 'splaining to do!

Anyways, this was fantastic, although I don't think I can whip up another review for you before midnight my time. :( I guess you'll just have to suffice with a little surprise I have waiting for you in the form of a 250 word or so snippet. :P Anyways again, this was another amazing chapter and I'm so mad I have to log off (metaphorically of course) soon and go off to sleep for tomorrow because I'm so excited for the next chapter. Seriously! I've been giving longer reviews than I normally do because I just can't stop gushing! Great job Sian, j'adore!

Secret Santa... ;)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Secret Santa!!! :D Piece #2

22nd December 2014:
OMG Sian! Back for my Secret Santa present for a Big Birthday Review Blitz!

Ergh, if I thought I liked the first chapter then I definitely love this one. It has everything you need. Mystery, intrigue, a cute boy who used to have feelings for Roxanne but now doesn't and it's super awkward... ouch!

I really liked the first part and how you tied in the drinking with apparating, especially because that would definitely have an impact!!! Also, the crime scene at first is really spooky and haunting. Should I be scared?

The dialogue and overall action between Richard and Roxanne is really nice and I love to see her interactions with more businessy people. I also really liked how Richard is somewhat of a "being-famou-for-being-famous" type person and Roxanne obviously doesn't really see that in a very good light. But it was nice to see her previous assumptions about him wrong when she saw him go to work.

The questions part was nerve-wracking and I felt so bad for Roxanne. It's so obvious all these other reporters don't think she's so tough, but she'll show them! ... won't she? I hope so! Especially since her question was good - albeit, not the smartest because obviously Hit Wizards don't discuss case details!

The ending with the reporters scavenging around the house like cockroaches or ants was a really nice picture. Kind of like they need this for their next meal - not entirely untrue considering that if they lose their edge they could be replaced and then they'd be in trouble! And then Daniel - :O

What? What just happened? I'm so lost for words, that entire encounter was so awkward (I can relate though...) and I hope their relationship gets better EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT I SHOULD - DARN YOU SIAN!!! It seemed that Daniel still cared about her though, so is there any chance of them getting back together and rekindling their romance? I think Roxanne deserves at least that.

Now, I must leave but before I do - if I review more it might be in my time zone and therefore it won't be your birthday in your time zone but nevertheless, it's the thought that counts? I hope so! Well, anyways, amazing job on this chapter too Sian! It was amazing and I need to get time off to review the rest ASAP!!!

Secret Santa :D *all the Christmas things*

 Report Review

Review #4, by Secret Santa :) Piece #1

22nd December 2014:
Hello Sian! Secret Santa come to bestow more gifts upon you! I got caught up this week and I was hoping to review a bit more before your Big Birthday Review Blitz (like the name?) but unfortunately, all of them will be left to today. Hope you don't mind. ;)

First off, Roxanne is darling. I love her character, especially as a 23 year old woman who sees her life as unaccomplished (I mean it kind of is, but she's only 23). She's a very realistic, three-dimensional character and her dialogue and thoughts were very relatable. I loved how she kind of maneuvered the conversation with Violet, almost as if she was not talking while Violet did everything - something I'm sure Violet has done many times before but has rarely done to herself. But that leads me to believe that Roxanne is guarded and has something to keep secret.

Perhaps it's the fact that she was the reason her engagement broke up? Don't play with me, Sian, Roxanne is not the only detective-like character/person here. :P I saw the bare finger remark and obviously she doesn't want to speak about her man and this Daniel obviously meant something to her but is now a source of pain. So, she broke off her engagement to someone who is friends with her brother (and cousin) and obviously they've taken the fiancť's side. What did she do? My money's on cheated but hopefully not! Roxanne is basically bae. Close second to...

Jane is ah-may-zing! She's also very three-dimensional and a very realistic character, and I love to see a 23 year old in fanfiction needing to struggle from paycheck to paycheck, not because I enjoy other people's sufferings, but it makes her seem that much more real. That also accounts for Roxanne's job lending to her relatableness, but honestly, Jane is probably my favourite character so far. Her comment about the dragon lady? Priceless!

I think the relationships between all the characters have been really well developed. The relationships between Roxanne and her coworkers are obviously very tense (or at least on her end) and her relationship with the bar tender (as well as with Jane) are super sweet and nice and kind of make up for her tense relations with her family. I think you really rounded out the character pool and really created realistic portrayals of people and their lives and how they interact with others around them.

I loved the ending and it provided just the right amount of suspense and now I have to go read and review more, even if I wasn't going to beforehand! :)

This was an amazing first chapter and I'm excited to continue reading and reviewing for Secret Santa, as well as keeping up with it afterwards! Stellar job Sian! You write beautifully!

Secret Santa!!

 Report Review

Review #5, by patronus_charm Piece #6

13th December 2014:
Whoo, I am finally here :D

I really loved the beginning of the chapter as you just set the scene so well for the story with all the little extras included which made it so much more fun to read. Old Aggie does sound like a character and the way you described the cafť was really great too, so I hope we get to see more of them too. Iím so glad that you provided an explanation for why technology was in the story because so many people include it without saying why itís there which is just confusing but yay for not doing that!

Ah ah ah ah! Roxanne bumped into Daniel! That was so awkward, because I didnít know what to do and I was just the reader so I canít imagine what it must have been like for her. I almost thought Daniel was going to turn her down and say no to meeting up with her but Iím glad that he didnít. Iím still confused by his character and what he really wants and what heís like. I guess itís still early days and Iím naturally to dislike him, but ah I just want to figure him out!

Itís nice to see that they could get over their differences enough to talk about the case and for Daniel to give her some inside info, as it was so much fun to see how the case was progressing and what was going to happen next in it. I wonder what Daniel was thinking and wouldnít revealÖ hmm I just canít think of any theories myself as I still canít figure out Daniel and whether heís lying or not and wah, Iím just confused but I guess thatís natural as this is a mystery so weíll have to wait and see. :P

Erm, woah, I wasnít expecting them to have it out as it just seemed so normal and just normal I guess, but then bam they were arguing. Iím glad that Roxy finally did manage to put the record straight so letís just hope Daniel realises that nothing actually happened.

Wah wah wah, you canít leave me on a cliff-hanger like that, Sian, itís not fair! Please update soon, like pretty please! ♥ Great chapter :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #6, by CambAngst Piece #2

12th December 2014:
Hi, Sian! Happy Holidays!

I was hoping I'd get a chance to come back to this soon, and there you were at the end of the Gift thread. I had to jump on it!

Before I hit the substance, once again I wanted to say that your writing was beautifully done. The chapter read so smoothly, it was easy to lose myself in it. Your descriptions are beautiful and vivid and you capture Roxanne's emotions and reactions really well. She's obviously feeling a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of what's been assigned to her, but she also has sparks of insight and desire to show that she can hack it.

You set the scene really well in this chapter. I like the way that you kept the visual descriptions kind of sparse and you kept in mind that Roxanne was outside at night. So you filled in the gaps of what she couldn't see with details like the stars and the salty air. I had an easy time placing myself there alongside of her, trying to piece together the blurry shapes of unknown figures moving around in the darkness.

Richard seems like kind of an enigmatic fellow. He acts sort of blasť about his job, but behind the act there was a seriousness and dedication to the way that he carried it out. The fact that he's Pansy's son -- at least that's what I'm guessing -- makes him even more intriguing. It sounds like his mother was mostly famous for being a vacuous sort of socialite, so that might leave him with even more that he feels he has to prove to the world. But, he's too aloof to want anyone to think that he has anything to prove. A very nuanced character you have here.

The thing that nobody ever told me Ė at least, the thing I never believed or truly appreciated Ė is how much waiting is involved in stories like this. -- I thought this was a really good note of realism. Even while I'm enjoying the fanciful nature of a story about wizards and witches and murder mysteries, you keep it all grounded and accessible with small details.

Hmmnnn... So I take it that a simple missing person case would ordinarily be the domain of the MLEP? Interesting twist that the Hit Wizards have taken over the case. I like the way you're gradually pacing the delivery of information.

My hearts sinks; I canít help feeling inadequate when the only question I have asked goes unanswered -- I took it a bit differently than Roxanne did. It seems to be like her question wasn't answered because it's very relevant to the mystery.

I have to say, my first reaction was to see Roxanne's ex as sort of a jerk. I guess it's understandable that he'd want to maintain some distance after getting out of a serious relationship that plainly didn't end well, but his overall attitude is very dismissive. Looking beyond the surface, I can't help but wonder if he has other reasons. Does he expect this investigation to take more dangerous turns? Is he trying to steer her away from it?

You've really done a good job setting up your main characters and putting the story in motion. Both of the main subplots involving Roxanne are really interesting. I'm excited to see where you take them all!

 Report Review

Review #7, by CambAngst Piece #1

22nd November 2014:
Hi, Sian! I've heard so many good things about this story. I'm really excited to read it.

The beginning drips with intrigue. You definitely dropped some interesting clues into the mix. The protagonist's struggles with the teapot, as well as what his tea is lacking, caught my attention. The easy guess would be that he's an addict of some sort struggling from withdrawal symptoms. Or perhaps he's a werewolf, out of sorts from the effects of a full moon spent without access to Wolfsbane. No matter what, it definitely drew me in. And then he's placed under the Imperius Curse by... somebody. All in all, it was a great hook for your story.

From there, we drop into the much more mundane life of Roxanne Weasley. I really loved the way you paced the delivery of plot and information. I was several paragraphs in before I knew with certainty that we were talking about Roxanne and not Rose. It had such a nice, organic flow to it. I vastly prefer this to stories where the main character spends several paragraphs of the first chapter dumping information either through rumination or directly addressing the reader.

I think Roxanne's life is going to make a very good contrast to the mystery that it seems like she's being thrust into. It's impossible not to feel sorry for her and her friend Jane. Especially Roxanne, though. Her family is so famous and her cousins seem to have found careers in keeping with their parents' reputations. It feels like she's pursuing something she loves, she just hasn't gotten much of a chance to enjoy it yet.

I loved the scene you created in the pub where Roxanne and Jane meet to commiserate. The scene had a very down-to-earth feel to it that was easy to relate to. The details were vivid and the scene was easy to imagine.

Am I reading between the lines correctly to infer that Roxanne was either engaged or almost engaged? I'm really curious to know more about Daniel -- how he and Roxanne broke up and why he's so close to Freddy that it created a rift between Freddie and Roxanne. It seems as though Roxanne might have done something that she regrets deeply.

And right at the end, you draw your two plot threads together. It appears that Roxanne is about to get more than she bargained for as she embarks on this new assignment.

Your writing was really, really good in this. The chapter was so polished and refined, it was obvious that you put a lot of time into both writing and editing it. I can't say enough about how much you've improved as a writer in the time you've been a member of HPFF! Brilliant job!

 Report Review

Review #8, by LightLeviosa5443 Piece #2

18th November 2014:
Hey Sian! Thanks so much for swapping with me!

I know I've said this before, but I'm saying it again because it has to be said. I'm absolutely in love with your description and word choice. The way that you use both so consistently through out your stories just makes me feel like I'm wrapped up in it and I get chills when the character is cold and I feel and see the setting. It reminds me of watching a movie in my head, almost like I'm not reading anymore. It's incredible.

Your writing continually has me in awe, but what really strikes me about this particular story is that you have Roxanne so observant and embedded in her setting and you manage to balance the setting itself with her character and you don't miss a single detail. We see Roxanne go through her personal thoughts and social interactions while getting this filter of the scene through her eyes and it sets this tone and mood that kind of just throws you into the story, like I mentioned above. It's really great and I think the fact that you've written the story in first person only testifies to that fact.

Ugh, my heart is breaking for Roxanne in so many ways. In one way because she is so unsure of herself as a reporter and in her writing and I hate that her coworkers have given her this feeling and doubt. I really hope that as the story goes on she becomes more confident and grows into herself. My heart is also breaking for her because of the Daniel situation. I don't know what happened between them but in the scene at the end of the story all I want to do is pick up Roxanne and just hug her. I can practically taste the pain she's feeling when he's cold towards her and I kind of want to smack him when he tells her she could get a better story. Though, the way he reacted makes me almost kind of wonder if there's going to be something really really dangerous about this story and he knows it. Which there probably is because of the story summary. But I'm going to pretend that I thought of that all on my own.

This was a wonderful chapter and I'm adding this story to my favorites so that I'll be sure to keep returning to it and reading, it truly is wonderful.

Thanks again for swapping with me!

xoxo Sarah ♥

 Report Review

Review #9, by patronus_charm Piece #5

1st November 2014:
Hey again Sian!

Ahahahah the first section is making me think that perhaps my crazy theory isnít so crazy after all. I donít know why, it just seems as if the idea that Malcolm staged is a bit more plausible but I shall have to carry on reading to see if Iím right or not. I definitely do think it has something to do with his blood status anyhow, because the comments made about muggles were certainly deriding so fingers crossed I got that bit right at least!

I love Lucy! Sheís just so bold and funny and out there and I really do hope that she carries on being blunt as it just makes me laugh when she is. Ah, Roxanne why did you make excuses for not going to The Burrow as I really did want to see all the Weasleys together but I guess weíll have that at Teddy and Victoireís wedding. Waah Daniel sounds like a poo for lack of 15+/M words. Iím so glad that they broke up because even though it seems as if Roxanne is still hurting over it, it sounds like it was for the best as he does not sound like a pleasant guy, and I hope if she sees him again she shows how awesome she is without him.

Waaah that is so awkward! Now I donít know whose team to be on, because while Daniel was being a poo, Roxanne could have chosen someone else to rebound on because it is a little awkward with all that jealously floating around there. It also makes sense why Fredís so angry at her now, but I still have a feeling thereís a bit more there as Roxanne is his sister after all. Hmm, we shall have to see!

It has finally been revealed!! Wah, I donít know what to think, I donít know whose team to be on, I donít know whether I want Roxanne and him to be together again. I just donít know. Please update soon because maybe then Iíll know :P Great chapter! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! :D

Mwahaha I am not giving anything away, even though you're trying to trigger a reaction with your theory (which is, I have to admit, very interesting!). It's kind of frustrating not being able to tell you what's going on but I suppose you wanting to know is a good sign :P

Lucy was so fun to write! I had a plunny for a novel about her at one time but I like her much better in this story and she'll make a few more appearances, for sure! You will see the Weasleys together at some point, but I was getting kind of terrified about writing them all so early on! Hehe, I love your description of Daniel :P

Yes, I had to make things complicated! It's not as easy or as simple as it might have seemed and so there's now a lot of complicated tensions between Roxy and her family and I'm glad you liked the chapter! I will update as soon as possible, especially now that NaNo's over - I just have to get my work out of the way first!

Thank you for review bombing me, Kiana - it really made my day! ♥


 Report Review

Review #10, by patronus_charm Piece #4

1st November 2014:
Whoo, Iím back :D

I liked the beginning section of this chapter as we got to see a different perspective to what it means to be a journalist as thereís the boring side to it such as buying people drinks and waiting around as well as the fun side to it too. Roxanne really does seem to be a great journalist with the way she knew how to manipulate the situation (in a good way mind) to get the most out of the interview and she did draw out some interesting answers. I canít wait to see whatís up with the Upton guy, though I canít help but wonder whether heís going to be a red herring or not though. I loved how you called one of the guys Marius though as it just meant I had Les Mis songs going on in my head :P

Ooh ooh oooh this just got interesting with seeing the prisoner! I really hope Roxanne does find him soon as it does not sound like itís going to be good for him. The fact that no names were used has made me come up with a crazy theory which you can dismiss if you want as it probably is a little crazy but maybe Malcolm staged his own disappearance and took someone else captive so to deflect attention away from the person he took? Itís probably a crazy idea but it could potentially be true :P

Wah George and Angelina were adorable so you definitely did write them well! I really love the idea of Angelina working in the joke shop too, as theyíre just such a good duo I can imagine it made the joke shop even more successful. They seemed like natural parents to Roxanne too and I could see flickers of both of them in her which just shows how well you characterised them all. The tensions with Roxanne and her other cousins seemed to increase in this chapter even if she didnít see them so I canít wait to see what itís like in the next few.

So many exciting things are happening, I canít wait to read on! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi again, Kiana! I'm slowly making my way through these lovely reviews!

This chapter didn't appear anywhere at all in my initial planning, actually, but when I got to writing around this time I felt like there needed to be another one included, and this turned out to be one of my favourites so far. I wanted to show the fact that it's not all glamorous being a journalist, and that she's got to do some irritating things to get the stories that she needs. I couldn't possibly comment either way on Upton's nature!

I'm also not going to dismiss any theories that anybody comes up with in response to this, it's so interesting to see what readers think might be happening! Haha, I was mean not using names but it's great that you came up with a reason for it, though of course I can't say if it's right or not! And yeah, things aren't going too well for the prisoner at the moment!

Yay, thank you! I was so nervous writing George and Angelina but I found myself really enjoying it and the relationship between them, so it means a lot that you liked them too. And yep, things are starting to become a bit more obvious as far as Roxy and her cousins are concerned, so you'll find out soon!

Thank you for this brilliant review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #11, by patronus_charm Piece #3

1st November 2014:
Hey Sian!! I'm finally back to catch up on this story!

Ooh Violet is a horrible piece of work it's safe to say and I am not a fan of her at all. I really loved how you described her as I can just picture her vividly in my head and at the moment I'm thinking of her as a patronising version of Rita Skeeter. I really hope Roxanne does go and prove her wrong and uses the press conference as a way of gaining more information. In fact, that entire conversation with Violet just made Roxanne endear herself to me even more. I'm not quite sure why but it just did.

I loved the way you described the press conference, it was so full of energy it just made me want to be there too with all those unique characters and the way they were all trying to fight it out to get the best scoop. Ooh so there's tension between Roxanne and Lily as well as with Fred. Hmm, I can't wait to see that story explored more as Roxanne's just so lovely and adorable there must be a really good reason for why Lily isn't a fan of her. I really liked how you tied that sub-plot in though, because there is a tendency with mysteries to just focus on the mystery and not the character development but you've managed to balance both here which is really great.

Whoo go Roxanne! I'm so proud of her and that fact she had enough courage to go and ask a question about the disappearance as I have feeling this case is what's going to make her as a journalist. The yet in the answer to it does seem to be very important, and I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of action to come in the next few chapters!

Ah, I really feel for Roxanne and the fact that even when she goes for an after work drink her surname has to be brought up as that must suck a lot. I loved hearing about all of their conspiracies though as I'm currently wondering whether any of them are true or not. I'm inclined to agree with Roxanne about no to the murder, but I have a feeling that blood status may be involved. Maybe it's the case of muggle borns going after purebloods this time round?

Ooh and a surprise appearance from Fred! I must read on and find out what's going on with him! Great chapter, Sian :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! Ah, you don't even know how awesome it was to see these three reviews appearing on the first day of NaNo - you're such an awesome NaNo mum/person!

Haha, I can kind of agree with you on Violet, and with her and Miranda Roxy's definitely not got the nicest work colleagues! I'm really glad that you're liking Roxy more too, since I love her and she's the main character haha!

The press conference was really fun to write, although a bit difficult too without giving away too much information about the case! I'm glad you liked the inclusion of the sub-plot, as that's something I'm trying to include, but I don't want to manage them badly since this is my first longer mystery! You'll find out (have already haha) why Lily's not talking to Roxy!

Yay, Roxanne's asking questions and showing her determination! There's definitely going to be some more action to come in future chapters!

Hehe, I'm glad that you're interested in all the different theories as well :) I can't comment on any of them of course but you could be on the right lines...

Yes, Fred turns up and acts mysteriously, ooh...

Thank you for this lovely review, Kiana! ♥


 Report Review

Review #12, by teh tarik Piece #5

30th October 2014:
Hey Sian!!

So I've finally caught up with the latest chapter, wheee! (I read the two last chapters on a long flight...). It's been awhile since I read anything on HPFF, and it feels wonderful to get right back into this story and Roxanne's life and the mystery that's becoming more and more intriguing.

The parts of the fic outside of Roxanne's POV are so exciting, and they drop so many tantalising hints, (but not enough to give a clear picture of what's happening - you're so skilled in writing mystery and you have so much restraint in revealing plot info!!)

I love that you started this chapter at the top of a high rise building in London; it's such a lovely contrast to the wizarding world, and it's really wonderful thinking of the whole magical world tucked neatly into the streets somewhere in the vast city. I love your descriptions of London and the skyscrapers in the sun. And of course I'm wondering who that mysterious man is...Simon Upton? It's absolutely fascinating that whatever he does is a combination of the Muggle and magical world; I can't wait to find out more!!

Lucy is quite a lovely addition to your character. I'm so glad we got to see more Weasley cousins written in greater detail, and I'm absolutely loving the understanding relationship between Roxanne and Lucy. It's also such a relief to meet one of the Weasley children who isn't being all hostile to poor Roxanne, who already has so much on her plate. By the way, I absolutely adored your portrayal of George and Angelina in the last chapter! George/Angelina is my favourite canon Weasley pairing, and I think you wrote their relationship with so much affection and yet there was a wonderful playful manner between them. George and Roxanne's relationship is also so endearing!

And ah, finally we learn what really happened between Roxanne and Daniel. The state of their relationship did make me a little sad, but I think you handled it very well: the arguments, the anger and resignation building up over time, the lack of emotional support for each other, and finally, the breakdown of trust and communication. I think you've written a very realistic version of a relationship, and I really enjoyed reading that (though it was very saddening). I'm glad you also explained why the rest of the Weasley clan seem to be holding a grudge against Roxanne: Lily, James, Fred etc. Some of them definitely are being way too harsh on her. I always enjoy reading fics about the Weasleys where alliances divide them up. :P Conflict makes the Weasley multitudes more memorable, and I'm less likely to think of the whole family as a singular unit.

BUT I'm so glad to see that Roxanne has decided to write to Daniel again! I don't know how easy it will be for the both of them to reconnect, but I do hope he'll give her a chance, and that they can slowly start rebuilding their relationship.

The last two chapters were fabulous, Sian! I think you've managed a wonderful balance of family drama and mystery and some work drama as well. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to catch up, but yay! Lovely writing as always! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: teh! ♥ *hugs* I would have responded to this earlier but NaNo got in the way and now I'm finished with it I can respond properly to this lovely review!

Ah, I can't even tell you how amazing it was to get this review, but thank you so much! And for all your lovely compliments too - I'm always so paranoid about my writing and this is my first real attempt at a longer mystery, so I always worry that it's not mysterious enough or that I'm giving away too much information. Coming from a writer like you as well, it puts a massive smile on my face! :D

The skyscraper setting for the beginning of this chapter just kind of... happened :P I found myself really liking it once I'd written it and I'm glad you liked the contrasts to the wizarding world! As for the mysterious man's identity, I couldn't possibly comment! ;)

Lucy was one of my favourite characters to write - ages ago I had an idea for a story about her, and while that didn't work out, she's taken a bigger role in this than I ever planned her too. It's definitely not all of the Weasley children who are being hostile to Roxy, but the poor girl certainly feels that way at the moment, so I think Lucy gave her some much needed reassurance! Thank you for your compliments on George/Angelina! I didn't even have a plan for chapter 4 before I started writing and I loved writing them but worried that I hadn't written them well... so, thank you!

Phew, I'm glad it seemed realistic to you! I was worried that people wouldn't think that the breakdown was enough but it's one of those things that happens to some relationships, unfortunately. But yep, now you know what happened between them and I agree with the fact that some of her cousins are being too harsh, but they're a stubborn bunch, these Weasleys... I'm kind of looking forward to and dreading writing all the Weasleys together for the first time!

I'm glad that you're glad! You'll see more of Daniel soon here, once I get the next chapter edited and up (which should hopefully be soon, now that NaNo's out of the way!)

Thank you so much for this fantastic review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #13, by potterfan310 Piece #1

26th October 2014:
Hi Sian, here for the Gryffie Review Exchange.

This caught my eye before but I forgot what it was called. Then I saw it last month in the review swap and got intrigued again, I just glad I can actually read it properly now. I love Next-Gen and Roxy is definitely an under loved character, who I've never really read about so I'm excited. That and your summary has most definitely left me curious.

I love, love the start. It's perfect and your descriptions are of what is going on is creepy none the less, you've really set the scene, not too mention I am highly curious as to who the man is. As well as why/what he's done to have an unforgivable curse set upon him, I'm most certain it was a death eater at his door, but I could be wrong.

Since I've never really read about her, your characterisation of Roxanne so far is definitely enjoyable. Plus I like how her job isn't that of a Healer/Quidditch Player/Running WWW like she's been mentioned to do in the background of stories. All of your descriptions in this are just beautiful and it all flows so well especially about Roxanne at work, I have a definite image in my head. I can certainly understand her annoyance at her name not being in full and I especially love the line about her ambitions been smothered by other things in her job.

Violet seems interesting, but slightly 'Rita Skeeter' annoying at the same time. The parells between them are interesting too as you said they are sworn enemies, but who knows maybe that will change?

I most certainly relate to Roxy when it comes to doodling random things in the margin of my writing pad, especially as my mind tends to wander :p The bit about George and exploding teapots made me smile, I hope we get to see more of him later on. The idea of the pub being an old Victorian building is brilliant and I love the name.

Aww no, I can't believe she and Fred aren't speaking and I can't help but wonder what happened between them. Ooh I get the feeling that Roxy was engaged to Daniel, perhaps, especially when you mention her 'bare, undecorated fingers'. Even only this far in, I really love her character and she is well rounded too I think. Her and Jane's entire conversation and just interactions reminded me of myself and my own friends, moaning about the day/week, haha. The bit about George and Molly not celebrating his birthday broke my heart.

Ooh a mystery I can't wait and Roxy has a proper story at last. I love how the end of this connects to the very start and I'm excited for her!

I can't wait to read chapter two!

-Potterfan310
Sophie :D

Author's Response: Hi Sophie!

Part of the reason I chose to write this story is because Roxanne's one of those next generation characters who I feel is seriously underwritten, so I'm glad you're interested in reading about her too!

I'm so happy you liked the start! I wanted to write something that was a bit mysterious and creepy and pull the readers in, making them ask questions, so it's great that it's made you wonder who was at the door and what's happening!

I've worked out head canons for all of the next generation characters, and while the professions of Healer and Quidditch player make an appearance, I've tried to be careful to make sure they don't all do the same thing. Plus I love the idea of Roxy as a journalist, and I'm glad that you liked the way I wrote the Prophet offices too!

The dynamics between Roxy and her Prophet colleagues are so interesting to write, it's one of the parts that I really enjoy in this. There's a lot more to come on that!

Lots of family intrigue at the beginning here, with things that have happened and the reasons that she and Fred aren't speaking. If you decide to carry on, you'll find out more about it in the future chapters! And yay, I'm so glad you liked her and Jane's conversation - I really wanted it to flow naturally so it's great you found it believable!

Thank you so much for this review, and I've really enjoyed the swap - I'll be back to Off-Limits soon!


 Report Review

Review #14, by teh tarik Piece #3

2nd October 2014:
Sian!!

Heey, I'm back for your latest chapter! I read it a couple of days ago, but couldn't find time to leave you a proper review! Anyway, ooh, the plot thickens and the mystery deepens!

There are so many aspects about the mystery that continue to intrigue me: the largely unknown Malcolm Armstrong (still quite an enigma), and the Hitwizards reluctance to reveal information to the press. And I love that Lily is working with Law Enforcement (I can't remember if you mentioned this in the earlier chapters); it's just fascinating that Lily and Roxanne are working the same case but from different angles. I find it so interesting that such disappearances are a very rare event since the second wizarding war, and I do wonder if this is somehow tied to events from the war. Even though that was a very long time ago. And there arent's any ex-death eaters involved.

I love Andy Chambers already, especially when he stood up for poor Roxanne. The girls is being seriously bullied by Miranda, who isn't even bothering to be subtle about her caustic, injurious remarks. It sounds like she's hoping Roxanne will be pushed off the case, and it will be reassigned to her instead. NO, PLEASE DON'T LET POOR ROXANNE GO THROUGH SUCH EMBARRASSMENT. :P Sorry for shouting; I'm really disliking Miranda! :P

I love all the other recurring characters in this chapter, like Obadian Bonnette and Amanda Cuthbert, and I love Martha Mockridge as well. They may be minor characters, but they're so striking and very well-characterised and memorable. I especially adore the complex relationship that seems to exist between Obadiah and Amanda. They're both competitive and yet they seem to be rather mature about their work, and have no problem putting aside their differences sometimes to engage in discussion. And this Jensen Collins does sound annoying haha! I guess now that Roxanne is starting to gain a bit of attention with her brilliant questions at the press conference and all, she's also getting some unwanted attention.

And finally, I love me some Weasley family drama, and Fred and Lily's appearances in this chapter had me hugging my knees in anticipation (I'm sitting with my chin on my knees haha). Will Roxanne and Lily interact? What really is the thing that's driving a wedge between the Weasleys? And what on earth is Fred up to, sneaking around in Knockturn Alley? By the sound of Roxanne's tone, Knockturn Alley hasn't changed much, still has that unsavoury reputation.

I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter! This was amazing. You need to update this, lovely! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh! ♥ I'm excited to see you back!

I'm really pleased that there are still different aspects of this mystery that are keeping you intrigued - it's good news, since there are plenty more chapters to come! When the disappearances started in the books, they seemed to be taken as a sign for something dark going on, so I thought it would make sense for them to be rarer afterwards... as for whether or not these events are connected - well, you'll just have to wait and see :P

Andy is great, I really like his character! Miranda is extremely not nice (in the most diplomatic terms I can find :P) and she's definitely not helping Roxy in any way, nor is she in the least bit happy about the fact that she missed out on the Armstrong story because she was off work that day. Shout at her all you want, I think she deserves it ;)

It's great that you're liking the other characters too, even if they're more minor! They're going to be back again too, as they're all caught up in this mystery solving together as far as investigating/reporting goes, so I'm glad you like reading about that! Jensen Collins is just irritating, isn't he?

Lots of family drama! There's going to be much more of this to come, so I'm glad that you like reading about it, and guessing what's happening. Knockturn Alley hasn't changed much at all, but as for what he's up to, I couldn't possibly say :P

Thank you for this lovely review, teh - there are two more chapters up now so you've got plenty to read! :D


 Report Review

Review #15, by may Piece #3

26th September 2014:
looking forward to the next chapter x

Author's Response: Thanks, may! The next chapter should be up soon and I hope you continue to enjoy reading!

 Report Review

Review #16, by randomwriter Piece #3

25th September 2014:
Back! AND I HOPE I'M FIRST. THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!! Anyway, just trying to sneak in a quick one.

Aha! The plot thickens, and I can see more subplots forming at the same time. This is quite mysterious, and my mind is not working on overdrive with all these crazy theories!

I love the opening segment of this chapter. The newspaper report bit reads like... well, an authentic newspaper report. (I wonder if this is going to be a regular feature?) And it's a nice summary of the whole shindig. Here, we see that he's probably quite well off, and that there is nothing suspicious about him. Atleast not yet.

Another thing that struck me while reading the last chapter is that the kidnapper or whoever was at the door knew that he was going to be home alone. So either they had been in direct contact with him or they had been observing his family and knew of their plans. Given how he was expecting someone, maybe he knew this was coming and had cleared out his wife and kids?

Anyway, I've also come to enjoy reading about these work place scenes, because it shows us how her dynamic is with different co-workers. I also really like how passionate she is about her work, and her determination is quite admirable.

I like Andy. He's friendly and he means well. He's clearly looking out for her and dislikes Miranda, so what's not to like? I think it's great that he's close to Higgins as well. This can only bode well for Roxanne if she handles this assignment with maturity, which I see her doing. My dislike for Miranda, however, grew tenfold. I'm worried that she might try and sabotage Roxanne's work somehow in the future, and because of her seniority and closeness to the boss, things might get very difficult for Roxanne, if that happens. Also, I couldn't believe that she;s just three years older... it somehow made me hate her more. I love how Andy keeps putting her in her place :p

The press conference was handled well, once again. I wish I knew what was in that statement, but I suppose I'll have to wait till you being us the next tidbit of a report? I like how she's using the story to get over Daniel, in a way. It's a productive distraction, and she's enjoying it too! I can't believe it's the biggest story in Britain and she's reporting it. That must feel great, like all her donkey's work finally paid off. Also, I like that she seems to have been inducted into the circle of reporters. Feeling welcome is always great! :) And they all seem quite nice. I am, curious, to know the relationship between Amanda and Obahdia (which is an excellent name for someone from the wizarding community, by the way). Again, a host of possibilities have swarmed into my mind, but I'll wait on this one.

The revelation that they have suspects was quite a turn. I expected her to deny it again, but I suppose that would seem like they weren't trying too hard or something. I really want to know who these people are and how they are connected to this case. Lets see if I can solve this as I read (which means, I fully intent to keep up with your updates, which are only going to get speedier because of yesterday's good news ;) )

Coming back to the journalistic community, I like most of them. The newsroom animosity doesn't seem to be carried forward anywhere, and as I mentioned earlier, they really seem to have put in some efforts to make Roxanne feel like she's part of the group. I don't like Jensen, no. He seems like a sneak, as she suspected. WHAT IF HE TEAMS UP WITH MIRANDA? :O

As for the relationship between Lily and Roxanne, I am curious, to say the least. This whole business with Fred is confusing and I want to know if it is connected to the Daniel thing.

You've certainly taken mystery too seriously. I mean, it's everywhere! :p And I don't think I know any of it for sure. So many loose ends, and that only means that you're doing your job really well :)

The last bit was a shocker. Fred in Knockturn Alley? Why? I can't wait for the fourth chapter. I love how you're pacing this. You aren't giving away too much, but you're adding so much more to the mystery element with each new chapter.

Great work, Sian! Needless to say, I'll be back soon for sure ♥

Author's Response: Adi, you are indeed the first, thank you! :D

I'm really pleased that you thought the opening read like an authentic newspaper article - I'm no journalist, but Roxy is, so it's great it felt believable! There's definitely a lot more to be found out about Malcolm Armstrong, and I love the fact that you're picking up on all the little clues and hints and forming theories around that, because it means that this story is doing what I want it to!

The dynamics between the different colleagues at the Prophet offices are really interesting to imagine and write, so I'm glad you liked them too. I thought you might have a similar reaction to Miranda as the one that you did here :P She's certainly not the nicest person around so that is very understandable, but yep, Andy's great and keeps putting her in her place.

Well, Roxy's going to try and use the story to help her get over Daniel... whether or not it'll work or not is a completely different matter. At the very least, it's something that's big enough to occupy her thoughts for a longer period of time. The press statement doesn't actually appear anywhere, as it kind of disrupted the flow when I originally wrote it out. But I'm glad you liked the press conference, and yes - there are suspects! Well, of a sort. The Hit Wizards are pretty eager to make it clear that they're taking this case seriously!

The other journalists are, on the whole, a nice group, which is a nice change for Roxy considering the poisonous atmosphere she has to endure with Miranda at the Prophet. But yes, Jensen's not the most likeable character either...

ALL THE MYSTERY. You'll never discover any of it :P No, that's not true. I've certainly given myself a lot to handle in terms of different plotlines, but I hope I can manage it, and it's great you're not sure yet because there's still 25 chapters to go after this one :P

Fred down Knockturn Alley? What? :O I couldn't possibly comment!

Thank you for this lovely review, my dear, and I'm so happy you're still enjoying the story!


 Report Review

Review #17, by randomwriter Piece #2

25th September 2014:
Hello Sian! :) Here I am, with a very, very late review. I'm so sorry for how long this has taken me.

Before I forget to mention it, I love how you're naming your chapters. It goes very well with the title of this story, as well as the genre of mystery. Also, it gives the feeling of solving the puzzle, which I like.

Okay, onto this chapter now. I love the descriptions. You paint the image so well, that I could literally picture it when I closed my eyes. It's also a very beautiful scene for a grave crime. Almost hauntingly beautiful, given the isolation of the house and the crumbling lighthouse in the vicinity.

It also throws some light on Armstrong, here. Might he be wealthy? Such a location is unlikely to come cheap. Or was he in hiding? Running away, perhaps? Or maybe this was a secret location? But he was expecting his kidnapper AND he was scared, so I am pretty intrigued. I'll keep my guesses for now.

I love that this is written from the first person POV. It gives us an insight into how she is as a person, how she functions and thinks and establishes a strong connection between the reader and her as a protagonist.

Her excitement in the beginning is palpable. After waiting forever, she now has her first story, and it's a good one too!

I like how you described her thoughts and feelings when she got to the crime scene. She feels a little out of place, as it isn't usually her scene, but at the same time, she's strong and determined not to let any of it affect her. She wants to excel at her job, and at the same time, she's trying not to get fazed, which seemed like a realistic emotion to go through at that stage of her career, and in that situation.

As all of your characters, Richard Parkinson is interesting and well crafted. I'd love to see more of him as the story progresses and I can see his friendship with Roxanne growing stronger, if they keep up this reporter-photographer duo. He's pretty laid back and chilled out, but he isn't a door mate. He's also working to maintain his life, and not feeding off his mother's wealth, which I liked.

As for the actual mystery, you've given off just the right amount of detail to keep us going, but haven't given out enough for things to shape up. As we're still in the initial stages, I'm doing a LOT of guesswork, and nothing is concrete for now :p

I liked the press conference. It reminded me a lot about how the media works in the real world as well, and you've drawn from that quite well to set up a realistic scenario here. Martha is cold and probably a little twisted. I can tell that she's keeping a lot information from the reporters. I liked how you wrote that scene in particular, where they all asked her questions and she replied. The brief introduction of other news agencies and reporters was a nice addition. It's quite funny to see how The Quibbler seems to be integrated into mainstream media, but there's still a whimsical element to it, if you look at the kind of information they were after.

The scene also throws more light on how serious Roxanne is about her job. It's clear that she's keeping an eye out for anything that could make a difference to this investigation. The part where she asks a question has definitely piqued my interest and roused some suspicion. Lets see how this one plays out. They clearly have some information and ideas that they aren't letting out, probably to keep it out of the public circle.

The last part, with Daniel, seemed like another mystery altogether. I am extremely curious to know what happened there. Hit wizards, by profession are extremely cool. in my opinion. And they way you've described him makes him very attractive. Whatever it was ended very badly for Roxanne (broken engagement?), but his dialogue here serves as a warning, which makes me think that he's still pretty protective of her. He still cares, perhaps. I can't wait to find out more.

All in all, this is a great addition to your novel. I'm excited to see what happens next. I love the tone of this chapter, there's a sense of urgency to it, which has made me slightly edgy, and that is effective writing. Well don, Sian ♥ Great job, once again!

Author's Response: Adi! ♥ I'm sorry, it's taken me a shamefully long time to get round to responding to these reviews, but I'm determined that I'll have a review count of 0 before starting NaNo, so here goes...

I'm really glad that you like the chapter titles - I think it works, each piece of the mystery building up the bigger picture - I've got Lauren and Nadia to thank for that suggestion!

The descriptions are something I really enjoy so it's great to hear that you liked them and they helped you to picture the scene - it also tells you something about Armstrong, you're right, although I can't comment on your ideas ;)

Originally this was going to be written in third person, past tense, but the switch seemed to help me find more motivation to write, as well as helping the story to flow better, because it gives it that sense of immediacy. I like the way that the reader can get pulled into the mystery with this narration - or that's what I hope happens, anyway!

This was a bit of an overwhelming introduction to the world of 'proper' journalism for Roxy - she's got plenty more to experience, as well as a few ethical issues that might come along. I'm glad you picked up on that.

Richard was originally going to be just mentioned in passing, as in 'the photographer', but decided he wanted to be written in to this chapter and take a bigger role, so it's great you liked the way I crafted his character here. He was fun to write and he'll be appearing in future chapters too!

The Hit Wizards can't give away too much information yet - they don't have too much information yet - but Mockridge hates the press and the idea of giving a conference, so it was fun to write the scene with all the questions, and getting the chance to build and develop this world a bit more with the different news outlets that were becoming a part of it.

Roxy is very serious about her job - she's passionate and driven, and now that she finally has this opportunity, she has no intention of letting it slip away from her. She wants to solve the mystery, too, so she's going to be grabbing onto every detail she can - though of course, that doesn't necessarily mean she understands the significance of everything that happens ;)

There is some history with Daniel, definitely, and I'm glad you liked that scene at the end. Chapter five (which has just gone up!) explains what happened more clearly!

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Adi, it's really great to hear what you think and helps get me motivated for more chapters!


 Report Review

Review #18, by LightLeviosa5443 Piece #1

23rd September 2014:
Hi!

I saw that you were the last person to comment in Review Tag and since you left me such a lovely review the other day, I felt I had to come return the favor. I looked through your whole authors page, and even though other stories appealed to me I kept scrolling back up to this one. Between the banner and the summary it looks really interesting. Um. Description perfection. First paragraph and that's all I have to say.

Holy woah. One you've got me sitting here biting my nails (something I don't do, so bravo) and then the next line is about garden gnomes. I want to laugh because that headline is just a riot, but I'm also really worried about what it means for what's coming next. Is there a murderer on the loose? I like that that first little part of the story is in third person and we don't know who the person is, but we feel his anxiety and terror at the situation and then in contrast this section. It's in first person and it does feel personal and I kind of want to be disgusted with the paper because Roxanne is.

Hahaha, Violet Toots. That is a fabulous name, I'm going to nickname every person I dislike 'Violet Toots'. I love that Roxanne is enjoying the buzz of the Daily Prophet but hates that someone is trying to talk to her. Um. Garish orange is also my new favorite thing. Awe, Violet isn't so bad. I mean, I kind of don't want to like her just on principle, but at least she isn't really teasing Roxanne. I also like that George got pulled into it. Fab. Just Fab.

"I'm pretty sure he was persuaded out of the exploding crockery line." I wish I had read this before nominations for Dobby's closed because this would sure be a winner. I don't even have words.

Ooh we like best friends. I love that you've put them in a public setting, after work, enjoying a drink together. I love the dynamic of meeting a friend figure in a public place. Oh no! What happened with James? And Fred? Did she break up with one of his friends? I hope it's nothing too bad like someone dying. I NEED to know what happened? Why won't Fred talk to her?? I love the way they're bantering back and forth with their complaining. It's so fun and believable and I just really like the way you've wrapped up this chapter.

Oh my god! Yay! She got a story! I mean, terrifying, what is she getting herself into? But yay a story! This whole first chapter was perfect. I mean you pulled me in, and left me curious and satisfied. I am dying to know what's going to happen next, but I'm also kind of afraid as to what's going to happen next. And your descriptions are out of this world. Everything was exquisite and wonderful and I felt like I was in the story. I honestly forgot I was at Uni until my computer started making this really weird noise and everyone was looking at me.

I'll have to keep reading.

Wonderful wonderful job.

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi Sarah! Aw, I'm glad you liked the review and it was really sweet of you to tag me in turn!

Eep, I'm so glad that you liked the description at the beginning and that I got you feeling the tension before that juxtaposing headline about garden gnomes comes along :P I couldn't possibly tell you about what's coming next, though...

Violet Toots is just such a fun character to write, and I really love exploring the dynamics at the Prophet with all the different workers there. If you think Violet's bad, you might dislike some others even more :P

Wow, that's a massive compliment! I'm really glad you liked that line, it made me laugh too!

Jane is awesome, she's one of my favourite characters in this story! And there's lots of mystery to be solved in this story, not just with work but also with her family... poor Roxy, she's not having such a great time right now!

Yes, she got a story! I'm really glad you're pleased for her and that you enjoyed this chapter! I'd love to hear what you think of the rest if you ever want to pop back! :) Thank you for this great review!


 Report Review

Review #19, by Penelope Inkwell Piece #1

21st September 2014:
Aha! Finally, here I am with your review! Sorry for the delay. I've been at rehearsal all day, trying to read on my tiny little phone screen in my time off.

Oooh, creepy opening. What in heaven's name is going on? No, don't go to the door! You're never suppose to go to the door when you have a sense of foreboding?

And what is missing from his tea? That's a very interesting omission.

So, first of all, that title. After the imperious curse, it's such great juxtaposition. It adds a nice touch of humor.

Violet Toots. What a name. Very apropos for a sort of mirror image Rita Skeeter. †She seems like a pretty smooth operator. Even wary of her as Roxanne is, Violet manages to drum up some camaraderie with that comment about her dad.

Alright, I'm ignorant here, but what's a "trading standards organization"?

I†adore the way you describe the Daily Prophet offices. I can totally understand why Roxanne is willing to put up with so much to work there.

Poor Roxanne. Her assignments really are horrible. After 5 years? Ugh. No wonder she's upset.

For some reason I'm picturing William Higgins as a North & South era Richard Armitage. I don't know why I feel that way, and it may be wayyy off, but I thought I'd share ;)

I'm really liking the atmosphere you're setting up for the Green Grindylow. †Something about the way you describe the neighborhood and everything is giving me this sort of film noir feel? †It's not overstated, just sort of a subtle undertone, and I like that.

Oh, postgrad life. Thank you for sending me closer to panic over my fast approaching future. ;).†

What happened with Daniel? He was Roxanne's fiancť. Sounds like a real mess. But now I'm very curious. You do a good job of telling us just enough that we've got an idea what's happened, but you've still left us dying to know more, which is perfect, especially for a first chapter, and double-especially for a mystery. †Good work!

Oh wait! She's getting an assignment! A real assignment! Hoorah! I am so excited!

CC:

"Something about the sight of this beating heart of the newspaper is always enough to pull my lips into a smile...". I might suggest rewording slightly to say, "Something about the sight of this, the beating heart of the newspaper, is always enough to pull my lips into a smile."

---
Sian, how can I have gone so long without reading something of yours? It reads so smoothly, like a published novel. †I've really enjoyed it. Any time you want to swap, let me know. I'll have to add this to my reading list, for sure! †

Thanks for the review swap! I really enjoyed this chapter!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny! Thank you for agreeing to the swap, and for such a great review - I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond!

I'm really glad you liked the opening, and that you thought that it had the sort of feel I was going for! Yes, he really should have known not to go to the door, but maybe there's a reason that he did... And I couldn't possibly say anything about that omission just yet ;)

The juxtaposition was so fun to create there, and I'm glad that you think it worked! The Prophet offices and the dynamics there were really interesting to imagine and write about, and you'll get to see more of them if you continue with this story :)

Oh, a trading standards organisation... it kind of regulates goods that are sold, and requires them to meet certain standards (as in, things have to meet safety requirements etc.)

Well, a North & South Richard Armitage wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I was writing about Higgins, but thank you very much for sharing the image ;)

I'm really pleased you liked the Grindylow and the way that I built up Roxy's life as well (and don't worry about panicking for postgrad life, you're not the only one who feels like that :P). There's definitely something that happened with Daniel - if you want to carry on reading, then the chapter I've just posted should explain some of it!

Thank you for that CC, I'll take a look at that soon!

Aw, thank you so much, Penny! That means a lot, because your writing is lovely and I'm excited that you enjoyed this first chapter! Thank you for this great review!


 Report Review

Review #20, by Slide Piece #2

11th September 2014:
I have been meaning to sit down and get to this. So! Sitting down.

This chapter starts with a good use of the present tense (proving my dubiousness kind of wrong), dumping us into the moment with an immediacy which helps set the scene. It's a good job painting the picture of the environment, and I certainly got a sense of creeping isolation which is starting to apply to Roxanne, too. She's out in the middle of nowhere, starting her own story on her own.

Ooh, Daniel's a Hit Wizard. So, reckoning whatever went down between them might have been conflict of law enforcement vs press. Or there WILL be such a conflict. That's my current bet.

I love stories dealing with the press because there's such an ambiguity to their work. The truth, but at what cost when it comes to legality, to privacy, to fairness? Those ideas are being seeded, and good on Roxanne for wanting the opportunity. I like that she's hungry for a chance, it's very realistic.

Richard's painted well as a character from the get-go. A less-than-attractive trait like yellow teeth makes him all the more real in a matter of sentences, and then the personal details keep him interesting. It's kind of nice that I can't tell if he'll be a regular character you're building up, or if he's just a part of the wider world who we'll move on from; either way it feels natural.

Martha Mockridge. ANOTHER good wizard name. And I like the tidbit about the Prophet now being fully independent; just a nice bit of world-development. That and the existence of wizarding press other than the Prophet itself or the Quibbler, entirely believable.

Seems Roxanne's question has stumbled on something; Mockridge's 'no comment' screamed, 'yes,' especially shutting down the questions afterwards. Good fact exposition of what's happened without getting clunky, too.

Ahaha, Daniel is here. Less analysis from me, more popcorn. He's all softening to see her, now he's getting protective, now he's giving a warning. Hm, he wouldn't give a warning if something weren't up, just as Hit Wizards wouldn't be here if it were nothing. But I like that her wishful thinking starts to interpret him as wanting something BETTER for her, it's a believable sort of misunderstanding.

Good second chapter! I feel we're getting more of a grasp of Roxanne and you didn't waste time progressing with the plot after the last chapter did a good job of introduction. Plus, pulling back more of the layers of Roxanne, her personality, her life, is always more interesting. I look forward to more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really happy that you think the present tense is still working, and that it's kind of doing what I intended it to here, throwing the reader into the action with Roxanne as she starts on her first story.

Hmm, those are interesting theories about Daniel! I can't confirm anything of course, but I think you might have some good ideas there!

The ambiguity around the press here is something really interesting for me to explore, because Roxy's so driven and wants to make it as a journalist, but at the same time she's not had as much exposure to these high profile stories which really call into question the ethical/moral side of what she does.

Richard was one of those characters who came to life and kind of wrote himself into this chapter, when I wasn't intending him to be more than a passing mention originally. It's great that he feels real, and you'll be seeing more of him in the future, although in what capacity, I couldn't possibly say.

The wizarding names have been so fun for me to try and come up with, and I'm glad you like Martha Mockridge's name! The world development has been fun to write, as well as the question session. You might be onto something with Mockridge's response...

I'm glad that you liked Daniel's appearance at the end of this chapter - I really like reading your theories about what has happened between them and this encounter at the end too. Thank you so much for these reviews, they've put a massive smile on my face!


 Report Review

Review #21, by Slide Piece #1

3rd September 2014:
Here for the swap! And you left me such a lovely review I better make this a good 'un.

First up, it's a good opening. Lots of questions to ask. Who is he? Why is he thankful he's alone? Why 'for once', who's normally there? His shaking hands raise questions (and certain theories) as to what he's 'lacking'. Some stories start with action and some start with atmosphere; while there's action here, this one's way more about mystery. The Imperius gives it a nice, Serious sort of feel amongst the mundanity of tea-drinking and Mysterious visitors, but I'm feeling there are nice clues here which will make sense in time. I'm a sucker for mysteries.

And then to our intrepid lead. I must confess out of the gate: I'm not a huge fan of the present tense for storytelling, *generally*. I'd be curious as to why you're using it - but I know it can work well for mysteries, as then the narrator is learning facts at the same rate as the audience. And, rest assured - as I got into the story I just got into the flow, the tense wasn't a problem for me At All.

Our introduction to Roxanne and her Ordinary World is effective. The scene is set for the Prophet office nicely, a good drawing on all of the senses to give us her environment. Violet Toots (great name) is introduced perfectly - it takes a certain kind of lady to wear orange fingernail polish, and I enjoy how Roxanne is introduced kind of in contrast to her. Roxanne makes Violet talk about herself more, dodges questions, which makes me think of Roxanne already as pretty canny, good with people, and underestimated. And boy, do I feel sorry for Roxanne. Rotten, entry-level stories indeed. A rivalry with an unpleasant person who seems to have rocketed up the career ladder far faster.

I totally agree that wizarding society would have to start catching up with Muggle technology. With recent developments, I think it makes no sense that wizards would remain LESS capable than Muggles at communication. Either adopting and adapting that tech or finding purely magical ways to get the equivalent of a mobile phone make perfect sense. You may find in my reviews I'm easily distracted by little world-building nuggets like that, but I like it! It makes sense! Which leads us right into wizarding locations in London NOT in Diagon Alley, of which I also infinitely approve. Love the off-the-beaten-track feel of the Grindylow.

I shake my fist at you for putting clues at Mysterious Family Problems. Even if I do this myself to readers! Trouble with Fred! Trouble via proxy with James! I want to know all the secrets. And it always makes me sad to see George struggling throughout his life with his twin's death. It makes perfect sense, and perfect sense it would impact his marriage, and it's realistic - but sad.

So it seemed Roxanne dodged Violet's question about her love life for a reason more specific than just not wanting Violet to know personal things! I'm enjoying these little clues of Roxanne's life; I'm always a fan of stories which throw me into them and then tug away the layers as the story continues, revealing the personal alongside the plot. The relationship with Jane is well-crafted; you establish early on their strong connection and their rapport, the lives they're in as struggling young twenty-somethings. It's believable and very real while remaining rooted in the magical world.

And then Higgins comes along with our Call to Adventure (I'm feeling very Monomyth today), no doubt to link back up to prelude. So this was all setup, Ordinary World, but I enjoyed it greatly. You do a fine job of introducing Roxanne and her life, professional and personal, and it's full of conflicts and ups and downs which still feel believable, relatable, and compelling. You give the audience a taste, and dangle the threads to leave them wanting more. And I want more! Especially the family woes. I'm a sucker for family conflict.

I shall crack on with the second chapter, as this was plenty of fun, though I may sleep on it first. Glad I finally got around to this!

Author's Response: Hi Cathy! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this amazing review, it's kind of intimidating to respond to something like this from someone who's such a fantastic writer!

I'm really pleased you liked the opening and thought that I built up the mystery there and had you asking questions about what was happening. I can tell you've already picked up on some of the hints that I was leaving, so I hope that I won't disappoint you with the way that it works out!

To be honest, the narrative voice used for this story changed completely from the first time I wrote it. It started off in third person, past tense, so the switch to first person and present was quite a big one - a lot of it stemmed from the fact that the story didn't feel like it was flowing when I wrote it the first way, and also because I like the immediacy of present tense. Hopefully that makes sense, and I'm glad you felt that it didn't detract from the narrative!

I'm really happy you liked the introduction to Roxanne and her ordinary life, before the mystery starts properly. I was worried that people would find it a bit boring, but at the same time I want to give people an insight into what her life is like - the dynamics at the Prophet alone are interesting, with the other workers there and the fact that she's so frustrated with getting all the rubbish stories instead of anything exciting.

I'm not going to complain about you noticing the world-building details :P I'm happy you find the mobile phones believable as I know a few people absolutely hate the idea, although I do think they'd start progressing a bit by this point! And the Grindylow was so much fun to write about, I really like including settings that aren't just in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade!

Haha yes, Mysterious Family Problems - that's a good name for it! And there are definitely plenty of clues about Roxy's life in this chapter, so it's great that you can pick up on all of those things. Jane's one of my favourite characters in this, and their friendship is so fun to write - plus, it was important to me to write characters who don't have everything going perfectly for them at this age, because in my experience there aren't many people in their early twenties who have everything sorted!

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this first chapter, and thank you so much for a brilliant review - it means a lot, especially coming from a writing like you!


 Report Review

Review #22, by Yoshi_Kitten Piece #1

3rd September 2014:
RoxiMalfoy from the forums here for our Review-Swap!! I'm gonna be reviewing as I read, so here we go...

Okay, so I love the title of this, and naming the chapters Piece #_ to coordinate with the 'Jigsaw' theme is such a brilliant idea! I really liked the beginning of this so far too. Already, you are raising so many questions on my head! Like who is this mystery man, and who is putting him under the Imperius Curse? Your attention to detail, especially with the teapot, was just so spectacular!! You really know how to set the mood and grab the reader's attention, that's for sure! :)

Personally, I love reading about characters in the journalism career. The way you described the activity going on inside the Daily Prophet was so detailed. I like how you have introduced this Violet Toots character and compared her to Rita Skeeter. She really seems.. unlikable tho, which I'm sure was your intention. Almost like she's just one of those girls who have always had everything handed to her, you know? Or at least, that's the impression that I got anyways. Here and this Miranda character both seem to be this way from my observations... It's sad that Roxanne is not as well known as I'm sure she deserves to be. I cannot wait to see how you have her making a name for herself throughout this novel. You have done a great job explaining on how she is the low-man-on-the-totem-pole for right now, the poor thing. I love all the details you have added in; like the was she comments on how Violet is on a first-name basis with the boss, and how Miranda started around the same time as her yet still got the big promotion over her. Roxanne seems like a very hard worker, and she's clearly dedicated to her job, so I feel like she deserves some recognition. Hopefully she gets some soon!

One thing I noticed, and I'm not sure if you meant to do this or not, but in your dialogue you are using [' '] marks instead of the proper quotation marks [" "] to show where they are talking. Its not too difficult to read tho, so its no big deal. I just wasnt sure if you were aware of this. If you did do that intentionally tho, feel free to just ignore me, lol. ^_^'

Also, I think part of the sentence may have gotten cut out in this section here:
The phones - as old fashioned as they are - have been a bigprophet announced a few years ago that they were going to be investing in the new technology made by Conjuring Communications, everyone was excited by the free phone that we got.
Not sure if that was supposed to be two sentences or not, but it looks like there are a few words missing. Sometimes the editor cuts sections of my sentences out too, whenever I copy+paste stuff over from my word processor to HPFF. I really hat it when this happens, lol... That being said, however, I got the meaning behind that paragraph there and I really like it a lot!! The name "Conjuring Communications" is such a good idea, and it is lovely to see that the Wizarding world is finally catching up to us, haha! =P

I liked them joking around about the exploding teapots possibly being connected to her father's joke shop. That really was funny to think about, especially when she made the 'exploding crockery line' comment... I still can't help but to wonder if this has anything to do with the teapot scene we read in the beginning? Are these two events connected in some way? Will this be the tie-in that Roxanne needs for her big break? I guess I will just have to read on to find out, lol!

Wow, you are so good at coming up with such original ideas and names for all these new and exciting places in the Wizarding world!! I really like the Green Grindylow; the idea, the name, everything! I like your description of the place too, and how it is set apart from the typical norm of places that we see characters hanging out at. I like how her and her friends are regulars there, and are on good terms with the manager. It just gives off this happy vibe and gives that section of the chapter a more warm feeling that the sections we read before. I like her friend Jane. You write them both so naturally in the way they interact. You can definitely tell that they have been such great friends since their first year of Hogwarts.

So who is Daniel? I am assuming that he is her Ex. But I can't help but wonder what happened between the two of them, and why was it so bad that it caused conflicts between here and her brother. Gah! SOO many questions! You have set this mystery up quite well. I love your characterization of Roxanne, she's got an interesting backstory and clearly things are not all working in her favor at all. She has layers, and depth, and this makes her very fun and exciting to read about. She is not Mary-Sue in any way shape of form that I can see. ALL your characters thus far are great, honestly!

The ending of the chapter was so gripping. I think I was holding my breath there for a minute when it came across the phone that her boss was calling her! (Seriously, the phone thing is brilliant, btw.) But YAY she has her first story!! Good for her, for now. But why do I get the feeling that this is not about to be anything she expects it to be after all? Honestly, if unforgivable curses are being used again, the person behind all this cannot be up to any good. Your plot here is already so fantastic!! I still can't believe that this is only the 1st chapter! Everything in this was just perfect and yo have set up what is to come so well!! I am definitely going to read more, and add this story to my favorites now. Thank you so much for the swap!!

100/10 - Seriously, your writing is amazing!
~Deana~

Author's Response: Hi Deana! It's taken me a shamefully long time to respond to this review - I've been caught up with all sorts going on in life, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it! This really made my day, as did the fact you nominated this story for a Dobby!

The chapter titles were inspired by comments some other friends made, so I'm glad you like them - I think they fit really well, as the picture gets gradually built up through the story! I'm pleased you thought that I set the mood well, and already raised questions in your mind with the first few paragraphs!

Journalism is such an interesting background to work from and I thought it was a good role for Roxy to be in to get to investigate this mystery that's going to unfold! There are some quite complex relationships and dynamics at play in the Prophet offices, and Violet is certainly part of that. I'd be interested to know what you thought of her in later chapters, especially when Miranda comes on the scene!

Ah, yep - that is intentional, but thanks for pointing it out. I think it's a UK/US thing - most published books here use single quotation marks for speech, and I decided to go for that too :)

And that typo! I've fixed it now, I didn't even realise it was there so thank you very much for spotting that! Silly copy and paste...

Haha I think it's safe for me to tell you that they're not connected, but I love the fact that you're picking up on little details like that and considering how they might be linked, that makes me so happy! And I'm pleased you liked that line, too!

There are quite a few places already in the wizarding world, but it's so fun to come up with new ones and set a new scene because we surely can't have heard of them all in the books! The Grindylow is a cool place, and the manager's nice too. Jane's awesome, she's honestly one of my favourite characters in this story, although it may take a while for her to come into her own. I'm glad you could tell the fact that they've been great friends for so long because of how naturally they interact.

Daniel... another mystery ;) If you've read on, you'll have seen some more of him already, but in the next chapter (5) that I'm posting you'll find out what happened! And I'm SO happy that you like Roxy! Writing her is so much fun, and the fact she doesn't seem one-dimensional makes me incredibly happy, I can't stop smiling.

Aha, the mystery! She finally gets her first story and I'm really excited for how things are going to unfold from here, although obviously I can't give away too much detail about it! *flails* thank you for this incredible review, and sorry it took me so long to respond, but you made my day with it!


 Report Review

Review #23, by patronus_charm Piece #2

26th August 2014:
Whoo onto chapter two!

Ooh your description at the start! ♥ It was so magical and mystical and I really loved it, and it really set the scene for the chapter. Roxanneís thoughts at that moment were cool too because it meant we got to learn a bit more about her, and it was really nice to see how set she was on solving this crime and how much it meant to her and that passion and drive revealed a lot about her. Also, all that information about the Hit Wizards and how the journalists go about getting information about the crime was really interesting.

I really loved the press conference and how wizards can have them as well as Muggles as that was good bridge between the two worlds. Also, it meant we could find out a lot more about the crime which was really interesting. I love how The Quibbler journalist went and asked the more obscure question of whether he had a job or not whereas everyone else was focused on the crime, they are always the odd onesÖ :P But, I agree with Roxanne, I canít help but worry that this might turn out to be a murder investigation.

Woah another mystery there with Daniel, Iím guessing some sort of old romance here? Iím not sure what to make of him though and the way he warned Roxanne off of this story. Either he really does think she could do something better or he knows something about this crime. The crime would be more interesting because maybe heís secretly evil and involved with the crime and is killing off all the journalists reporting it so thereís no snooping around and ruining it. Okay, that might be a little extreme but weíll have to see.

Great chapter and I canít wait for the next :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really glad you liked the description at the start of this chapter! I wanted to set the scene because this is kind of an important place in the story and obviously Roxy's really alert since it's her first proper scoop. I'm always a bit worried about overloading with the information but I'm glad you found it interesting!

Yes, I'm working on the basis that there's been some development from the end of the books since this is about thirty years later, and there's been a bigger influence from the Muggles. Haha, Obadiah Bonnette :P

All the mysteries! I think you might be on the right lines with the romance idea - you'll learn a bit more about Daniel in future chapters ;) Oh wow, that's a great theory and not one I've heard yet but it's certainly very interesting :P

Thank you for another great review!


 Report Review

Review #24, by patronus_charm Piece #1

26th August 2014:
Yaya itís Jigsaw time :D

Woah that first section is so cool and so creepy and had left me wondering so many things, like who is that man, does the teapot have any significance or was it just placed there for the sake of it, and who cast imperio, so many questions and I canít wait to find out the answers! :D

Ooh Roxanne is a journalist, thatís really cool and Iím really liking her so far as she just has this lovely character which draws you in to her. Another thing I liked was the fact she just accepted that her dad was George Weasley and didnít make a big deal about it which was a nice change. Hmm, Violet, hmm, I feel as if sheíll always be someone who goes and raises a lot of questions throughout this story. I bet she has a secret or some connection to the first section, she just seems like that type. So Iím watching you Violet!

Another yay for The Green Grindylow, I really love new magical places so seeing that was really cool and you built it up really well too. Also, the more I read of this the more and more I like Roxanne so another yay for that. I really liked Jane too! There was something really lovely and warm about her that she just drew you in. Listening to their conversation was cool because it meant we get to find out loads about the wizarding world at that time and all the other Weasleys too. It was sweet to see that Ron was still a Chudley Canons fan after all this time too.

Ooh so Higgins is actually nice?! I have to admit I was very suspicious of him at first but then I tend to be suspicious of most person when the storyís a mystery, but heís gone and given Roxanne her first scoop so maybe he canít be that badÖ Well weíll see, and I canít wait to read on and see Roxanne crack this mystery! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Ah, Kiana, you're just too good to me!

Haha, I was going for creepy and intriguing so it's great that I seem to have managed that as you're asking questions and wondering about what happened with the man there!

I'm glad you liked Roxy! I didn't want to make a big deal about the fact that her father is George Weasley - obviously it affects her in some ways, but in others she has to make her own way in life and isn't getting ahead in her work just because of her family. Hmm, Violet definitely should be careful if you're watching her! ;)

I'm really glad you liked the Green Grindylow! You create such great magical settings and it was so fun to create this place for Jane and Roxy to hang out in. I'm glad you liked their conversation too and finding out more about what's going on at the time!

I'm with you on suspecting literally everyone when it comes to a mystery but yes, Higgins has finally given Roxanne her first scoop and so now she's got a story to go and crack!

Thank you for your lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #25, by Unicorn_Charm Piece #1

21st August 2014:
Hi Sian! Here for our Review Exchange. :)

Usually when I read next gen, I typically go for Rose, Lily, Al, James, Scorpius stories, so I probably wouldn't have read this if I just stumbled across it. That being said, I'm really glad that I signed up for this exchange and had the chance to read this chapter. I loved it!

I'm really enjoying your characterization of Roxanne. She seems like the complete opposite of her father. A lot more reserved. And I truly love the fact that, even though she is a Weasley, she wasn't just handed an amazing career. That you have her starting from the bottom, just like anyone else. It makes it seem a little more realistic that way.

There was something about this that just seemed kind of dreary, which fit the mood perfectly. I feel like if this was a movie, or something I was watching on TV, the coloring on the screen would be greys and blues - if that makes sense.

I'm very curious as to who the man was that went missing in the beginning of this chapter. A part of me wonders if it was her ex(?), Daniel. Only because he was mentioned very briefly in this chapter. And why are her cousins and brother mad at her over this Daniel? Ahh! So many questions. I will most certainly be continuing on. ;)

I loved the fact that you created a "dive bar" in the Wizarding world. And the whole cell phone thing. I can just picture all of the Witches and Wizards walking around with those huge 1980's cell phones with the long antennas. I'm sure the Muggles would look at them like they were crazy, while playing on their smart phones.

You broke my heart a little, though. "...and with parents who cannot celebrate my father's birthday because of their grief" that line killed me. I never really thought of that before. I guess George, and Angelina for that matter, would have a hard time celebrating George's birthday. It would just be a yearly reminder for George that Fred is not growing with him. How horribly sad.

This was really, truly very good. Your writing has a very effortless flow to it, very easy to read. The opening was fantastic, it sucked me in immediately. The pacing was perfect. There was not one point that I felt like this chapter was dragging, or went by so quickly I felt like I missed something.

Well done so far! I will most definitely be reading on. :)

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

I'm glad that you enjoyed this first chapter, even if it isn't something that you'd normally have read! I've read a lot of stories about those characters as well, but I always enjoy writing about a character who isn't portrayed a lot in fanfiction.

Roxy isn't the complete opposite to her dad, but at this point she's a lot more reserved - there are certain things she doesn't want to reveal to her colleagues which are making her a bit more reticent. But yeah, she's a bit quieter than her dad!

I'm really glad that you picked up on that - while I was worried it would seem too boring, I also wanted to show the monotony of Roxanne's life at this point, so it's great you could picture this in dull colours!

It's great that you're curious about the man in the opening of the chapter! I can't say who he is just yet, but if you get the chance to read on then you'll find out ;)

I love creating new settings in the wizarding world and I'm really pleased you liked the way I introduced some Muggle technology into their world as well!

Ah, I'm sorry about that! I promise that when he arrives in this story, George won't be all morose, but he does still grieve for his brother!

I'm so pleased that you liked this chapter and felt that the flow and pacing worked well too. Thank you so much for this great review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>