Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
65 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Piece #12

11th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey Sian! ♥ This is a HC review so will be rambling and confusing, so I hope thatís okay!

Ah, so much drama and tension in the first section, I canít stand it! I need to know who these people are and more detail about them just generally, because youíve kept the suspense going for so long now, I think itís almost painful that I donít know more. :P

Oh, Jane *hugs her tightly* That really is a sorry state to be in, and your description was just spot on as I could picture it so well that it made it even worse to read. Being evicted, losing her job and then thinking Roxy would be too busy to care. Roxyís just one of those lovey people whose heart will always be open to love and care no matter what. I think my heart broke even more when we heard about her family because having to live with them would have just made it a whole lot worse. It was so sweet how easily they started living together though, as they just seemed to get along so well.

Whooo, go Roxy you are fab and I knew you would solve it! (also quickly, go me as I thought they were linked). It is getting ex citing and I guess Iíll deal with the suspense a bit longer as there really are a lot of twists and turns and I have no clue how this will end up which is kind of exciting. It is a very good crime though, having none of them linked as it naturally does make it so much harder to track.

Hmm, the phone call from Richard was very interesting as it does seem to add weight that they are linked. Poor Richard though, he seemed so lost and so scared, I donít think itís him. Though given all the twists in the story, it will probably end up being him. :P

A fab chapter, and I canít wait for more! ♥

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #2, by MargaretLane Piece #12

20th June 2015:
Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015.

I'm delighted this task came up because I'd completely forgotten I hadn't read this chapter yet. I've been crazy busy recently and things are only going to get busier from next week. Sorry about the delay.

Oooh, this is an extremely ominous beginning. It sounds like they are planning to murder somebody, somebody who is already injured or something. It could be Jane. I wouldn't be surprised.

And the way she looks when Roxanne appears in her flat makes it seem even more likely. If she were just having an affair with Daniel, she might look upset to be confronted with Roxanne, but it's fairly obvious she's been stressed and/or unhappy for a while and I don't think an affair would be enough to do that. I reckon she's got in over her head somehow. Maybe it's something to do with her lack of money. Somebody might have paid her to do something dodgy and she might not have realised QUITE how serious it was until it was too late.

Poor Jane. Maybe her disappearance is innocent, but I'm not convinced. It seems to work too well with the part at the beginning about a "her" and of course, packing up would fit with running away. And Aggie kind of gave the impression Jane had left her job, not that she wouldn't have a job because the place was closing. Of course she isn't the most reliable, so maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it's a mystery, so I'm going to remain suspicious.

Poor Jane. She's still quite young and it's tough to have limited or no family support when you're still just starting out in adult life.

Oh, actually, it's probably the Chaser they are afraid will give them away, since there would be no reason to question if Jane would live.

Hmm, not sure telling Daniel is the best idea. I'm still pretty suspicious of HIM.

10 minutes makes for quite a long time on a phone call. They don't seem to get much said in it. I know there were a couple pauses, but they'd need to be pretty long to only get that much said in nine minutes.

Really intriguing chapter. It's sort of persuaded me Jane's innocent, but that's about all the help it's been to me.

 Report Review

Review #3, by May Piece #12

28th May 2015:
I hope Roxanne finds the real culprit soon that's if there is

Author's Response: Roxanne's definitely going to start finding out more about the mystery over the next few chapters, but there's still a lot more to come - I'd be interested to know any theories you have!

Thank you very much for stopping by and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #4, by patronus_charm Piece #11

1st May 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Okay, woah, that was dramatic! You wrote that scene so well though and I think thatís what made it so dramatic and kept the suspense going with the way your description kept on changing pace (Iím not sure if that makes sense but whatever :P) to match what was happening, and the way Dom jumped into action made it more suspenseful too. Another thing I liked was how Roxanne had a bit of crisis in the way she couldnít cope with seeing the body. I think itís only now that Iíve realised sheís quite a doubter as it only creeps up now and then but I hope she gets more confident as she really is fab!

I liked the brief description of Tinworth and how Louis still lives with his parents too as it was nice to build up the backstory more as it really helped me visualise what his life was like there. Poor Roxanne though, she must have been really bad if she had to leave like that and it makes me wonder if thereís something more to it or notÖ

Bahaha Louis made me laugh so much with the way he was asking about Jane and being an award winning broadcaster! I hope we get to see more of him as his humour and sort of big-headedness work really well together and balance out well too so itís not too much of anything if that makes sense.

Gah, Miranda, gah, I hate her so much. Sheís just so rude, mean, vile, horrible, everything really. I just canít stand her and if I was Roxy I would have challenged her to a duel as thatís what she deserves! Boo to Miranda again for trying to get her off the story with Andy when he was just trying to be nice and help her out. I do wonder if there is something deeper with this case with Rihannon and Roxyís going to solve it. That would be quite good revenge!

Oooh, another mystery with Jane! It might just be me being a conspiracy theorist but maybe all these things are linked together? Hmm, anyway this was a fab chapter and congrats on this passing 50,000 words! :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #5, by Aphoride Piece #2

30th April 2015:
Hey Sian - dropping by for our review swap! :) So I'll admit double motives for stopping by on this - I've missed reading murdr mysteries recently and this is so good and I've been meaning to come back to it for ages, but never found time to (or forgotten, as happens :P), and I've promised myself (and you, kinda) to review The Story of You separately, because, really, considering all things, it feels like it would be a bit rude not to.

That probably doesn't make any sense. Ah well :P

Anyway, I love this story so much - really, it's just so good, and so unique in what's about - you really do put a totally original take on the murder mystery genre.

Roxanne is such a brilliant character - I love how she's so excited and nervous about doing her first big story at the same time - the idea of doing something like that, totally on my own, is so terrifying... and how she feels so out of place with the other journalists, who are all probably so much more experienced than her... I loved the idea of them all being friends, kinda like a clique in school, and her being the odd one out, like the new girl. It's a very stark image, I think, and you make me feel so awkward and sorry for her with it. They really are all kinda vulture-like, and almost predatory in nature, jumping on the Hit Witch - I loved how unimpressed she was with them all, haha, it was again a lovely human moment (and I can imagine it's so true in RL too, with the police and all).

The photographer is hilarious. I love him to bits - how he's so good-looking, but sounds slightly messy, and then his whole freelance photography sort of as the respectable arm of his socialite career :P (I'm guessing he's Pansy Parkinson's son, and really I'm so impressed you made me like her son, since I loathe her as a character, haha)

Ooh, Daniel... okay, I'm super curious to know what happened with Daniel - and if anything will happen with Daniel in the future of this story, or if that romance is really dead. It seems so heartbreaking, and so awkward for the two of them - you write it so well, the ended romance, without (I think) actually saying it explicitly. It's just there, you know, and it's so hard - the emotions come through your writing so, so well. I love how affected she still is by him, and how easy it is to slip back into familiar habits - it's so true, I think, with anyone you kinda leave behind or stop seeing. Gah, they seem like they'd really work together, too - so bad they broke up and I don't even know the story! He's been involved in this for what, five hundred words? How do you do this?!

(Also, I loved the little mention of the fame the Weasley surname gathers, with Roxanne wondering if people are looking round because of her surname or the name of the newspaper, or perhaps because she's obviously new.)

Your writing is amazing in this, too. You write action and emotion so, so well, and even the waiting, when Roxanne is looking around and feeling so alone and everything, is so gorgeously written. The description of the crime scene, with the Hit Wizards inside and the photographers and reporters all outside, was pretty much drool-worthy and really brought the scene to life - I really could picture it so so clearly.

I'm so so curious about the crime scene and what's going to come out about this man's disappearance over the next while - has he actually left of his own accord or not? Will they find a body, and then it will be a murder? Will other people go missing too, out of the blue? It's such a cliff-hanger type situation you've left us in, without needing an actual cliff-hanger, and I'm just so looking forward to getting to the next chapter to find out! :)

(I have to say as well, that the way you write about the reporters and how they work and all is just so, so good. It seems so real, and so in-depth, as though you know everything about journalism. It's so brilliant!)

I love this. If this isn't in my favourites, I made a mistake when I first read this :P I will stalk this over the summer holidays ;)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #6, by MargaretLane Piece #11

23rd April 2015:
Gosh, that does sound dramatic.

Poor, poor Roxanne. I'm sure living in an era when so many people she knows have faced war, it must make her feel inadequate being upset at something like this. But it's not a competition and seeing something like that IS upsetting. I like the way you show the cousins reacting differently, because people do.

Your Louis is quite different from mine. Not that Louis plays a large part in my story. Ironically, his joking about being a radio presenter, girls loving his voice and so on is pretty much the way my Louis really thinks. I'm not sure what his career will be, but wireless presenter is one I've considered.

LOVE the detail about Tinworth and the football/soccer match (sorry, had to). And the shop taking both currencies.

This phrase: "I know that, if I visit them, Aunt Fleur and Uncle Bill will be bombarding me" sounds a bit awkward to me. "Aunt Fleur and Uncle Bill will bombard me" might sound better. Might be a dialect thing or something, but it just sounded a bit off to me.

And I think the word "know" might be missing from this sentence: "My parents and aunts and uncles talk about us like they think we donít the extent to which they discuss our lives."

Miranda and Violet are so nasty. I hope Roxanne can keep her cool. They're obviously just trying to wind her up, but it would be hard not to react.

*cheers for Andy* He seems cool.

Fair play to the Seeker for ending things quickly. I think everybody would have felt uncomfortable, continuing that match indefinitely with a player in danger of dying. It would seem like taking advantage, for one thing.

Ah! NOW I'm seeing a possible connection with the murders. What if the villains are somehow involved with the creation of/supply of illegal potions and the murders are in some way related to that. The two victims might know something. Wasn't one of them involved in marketing or something?

Miranda's logic doesn't even make much sense. If she HADN'T been taken off the Armstrong story, there could be some argument about her not being able to accompany him, as she might be needed if something else broke in that, but surely being taken off it just means she's available. I guess Miranda is trying to imply being taken off the story implies some kind of deficit in her that would make her little use in this situation, but it's still sort of stretching it.

She really seems to have it in for Roxanne. Maybe Roxanne is a better journalist than she realises and Miranda is worried about her likely rise.

OK, this stuff about Jane is really weird and I can't figure out if Aggie knows more than she's saying or not. That emphasis on "friend" and the unexpected grin makes it seem like maybe she does.

My immediate thought is that Daniel and Jane are having an affair, but it doesn't seem to explain all the facts. It would explain Aggie's strange emphasis on "friend," why Daniel spent six months acting like somebody having an affair, why Jane's been avoiding Roxanne and where she is when she's claiming she's working. But it doesn't explain WHY she left her job. I can't really think of an alternative explanation though.

 Report Review

Review #7, by MargaretLane Piece #10

17th April 2015:
Apologies for the delay in getting to this. I've been pretty busy for the last week or two and of course, the rare good weather hasn't exactly inclined me to spend any more time inside than necessary.

These letters have started reminding me of the Basilisk's game. And hmm, we still don't know who the Basilisk really is.

One tiny, nit-picky thing, you've written that "Higgins instructed Miranda and I". It should be "Miranda and me," since you wouldn't say, "Higgins instructed I."

Hmm, that part about how Miranda doesn't seem particularly anxious to find out more about what is surely one of the more interesting stories to which she has been assigned is intriguing. I hadn't considered her as a suspect up to this point, but that makes me wonder. Though of course, if she WERE the villain, she'd probably want to know how the case was progressing, so as to know if anybody had any suspicions.

Her attitude is odd though. I wonder what is going on with her.

I'm now sort of suspicious Miranda is going to go out while Roxanne is with Higgins and deliberately leave her behind. It sounds like something she'd do.

Love the metaphor of the spider curling up in its web.

Oh, I wasn't expecting Roxanne to be taken off the story, though I suppose it's hardly surprising. It's bound to be assigned to the more experienced reporters. And Miranda clearly knew. Poor Roxanne.

I've a feeling she won't give up that easily though. Well, she can't or there wouldn't be much of a story.

Yikes, I definitely didn't expect that ending to the chapter. I suppose I should have figured out there'd be some significance to the match when you went into it in such detail, but I got so caught up in what was going on that I didn't think about it.

I wonder if this is in some way connected to the murders. I can't see how it COULD be: even if she has been murdered somehow, it doesn't seem the same KIND of murder as the other two. And yet, I feel there must be some connection or you probably wouldn't bring it up. Hmmm.

 Report Review

Review #8, by patronus_charm Piece #10

16th April 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Ooh, you really wrote the beginning section really well as I really could sense the excitement of The Prophet staff and I really wanted to join in with the buzz of energy and write stories for them too. :P Haha, Violet never fails to make me laugh, you just write her cold character really well and the Morning Dear really did make me laugh as it would be quite funny to see her meet Molly Weasley as I have a feeling she would have a few words to say about Violetís coldness.

Hmm, I donít trust Miranda at all. Sheís just got something very Rita Skeetery about her. I have a feeling she might use Daniel against Roxanne or just do something generally horrible against her. I think especially with the way she suggested re-working old information and suddenly wanting to work with Roxanne is whatís making me extra suspicious. Ah, I hope Roxanne doesnít end up doing anything she might regret. No!!! I should have carried on reading before saying that as I was right. Ah, Miranda is horrible, I bet she knew that would happen to Roxanne. Ah, I hope Roxanne manages to work on the story again as she really was doing a great job of it.

Aw, I really love Louis ♥ Thereís just something so kind and genuine about him and I just want to hug him every time he appears as he really does seem to boost Roxanneís spirits. I really like how you wrote Dom and Louis together too as I thought you got their sibling dynamic spot on, and I would not want to be on the wrong side of the two of them as I can imagine there would be quite formidable when together. :P

I really enjoyed reading the Quidditch match which isnít something I say all that often! You really caught the energy of the match and all the drama that went with it, especially at the end as the whole thing with Rhiannon Griffiths does some rather odd. I wonder if someone hexed or something like that?

Anyhow, that was a great chapter and I canít wait for the next! :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #9, by patronus_charm Piece #9

4th April 2015:
Hey Sian ♥ Iím so, so, so sorry for how long itís taken me to get here, so I hope this review makes up for it!

As I usually say in every review, I really love how much youíve developed the wizarding world so there are rival newspapers with different slants and different readers as it makes it so much more exciting, and echoes the Muggle world far much more. One thing that struck me was that both Roxanne and all the other journalists were trying to do the Aurors and Hit Wizards jobs of solving the crime. It makes me wonder that if they had combined forces, they would have been able to solve crimes much more easily, because journalists can get facts out of people like no else can. :P

Anyhow, I did love seeing Roxanne trying to solve the crime as there are so many different elements to it and you managed to include them all from interviewing sources, getting into the psychological of the killer and trying to trace the victimís backstory. Itís just all so intriguing and youíre doing a really great job of keeping up the mystery and tension of it all!

Oooh so she met Daniel! I loved her thoughts beforehand with the whole date vs. just friends thing because it added a nice comedic to the story, and you are really good at slipping them in now and then because the story does benefit from the odd bit of light relief now and then. Haha, yes, I am right about my theory of journalists and hit wizards joining forces because even Danielís been reading the articles about the murders so to gain extra information it seems.

Wow that was turn of events, because it seems as if Danielís ready to move their relationship on with moving back into the flat, and it will be interesting to see if the dynamic of their relationship changes after he does that. But ooh I did sense a lot of tension when Paul Jordan came in and if I hadnít felt so bad for Roxanne, I would have probably ended up laughing because that was possibly the worst thing which could have happened.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, a body has been found! I really hope this gives Roxy her big break as she really does deserve it as life for her hasnít been all that great recently. Great chapter, Sian, and I canít wait for the next :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #10, by MargaretLane Piece #9

27th March 2015:
Oh gosh, poor Upton. And I'm now reminded of the REALLY BIZARRE story of a murder in Ireland in 1996. A particular guy was suspected, but never found guilty. There are now claims of police bias and framing, with some witnesses basically saying the police told them to say certain things. It just gets progressively more bizarre.

OK, this story is just reminding me of numerous unsolved murders from Ireland in the '90s - well, both the case above and the one I mentioned beforehand when a number of women disappeared and everybody thinks they're connected, but the police can find no evidence to support that. I guess this is good, as it indicates this story reflects reality.

And I'd LOVE to know what the Quibbler has to say about events. Could be amusing.

Hmm, the fact they are both pureblood, but have connections to Muggles allow both for the possibility of pureblood supremacists OR some kind of revenge against purebloods. And that's just taking the possibility of some kind of blood status related motive. There are plenty of other options.

And the fact it seemed like Feist should KNOW the reasons has GOT to be relevant. If it were revenge against purebloods, I doubt he would. If it's his connection with Muggles, he MIGHT, as he could have been sent threatening messages, warning him to stop fraternising or something.

But there's also he got mixed up in something. But WHAT?

I'm also not going to rule our the possibility of Armstrong's wife being involved. Mostly because I think the body was found near their home. I don't see why she'd want to kill Feist and it seems like this is something more serious than a domestic anyway, but at the moment, I'm not ruling anything out.

Her recognition of the fact there was no sign of a struggle is significant.

You've written Feist had "non family to speak of." I presume it should be "no."

And now I'm intrigued: why MUGGLE charities? Why not wizaring ones? How is he even FAMILIAR with Muggle charities, growing up in the wizarding world? I guess from his work, but still, I wouldn't expect him to focus on them exclusively. I think there's a clue here, but what it is, I don't know. Maybe an indication he'd be viewed as a "blood traitor". Or maybe something more. I'd be interested to know whether those charities focused on something specific - something he had reason to care about, maybe, that the wizarding world didn't provide sufficient support for - or if it's just anything Muggle? Could it be some kind of way to make up for how purebloods treated Muggles in the war? Maybe he had relatives who were involved with the Death Eaters or something and he feels guilty. OK, that's a long shot, but it's POSSIBLE. And could open a few avenues of investigation.

I think she should look into these charities. Not that I think they have anything to do with the murder, but they might give some indication as to what his interest were, what sort of things claimed his attention. If it were just a "I've no close relatives, so might as well leave my money to charity" thing, I think he'd choose wizarding ones.

And NOW I'm suspicious of Terrence Brown. I'm convinced this is a conspiracy - we KNOW there is more than one person involved - so if Brown WERE involved, he would definitely let some of his co-conspirators who wouldn't be connected to Feist, do the dirty work and ensure a cast iron alibi.

Love your details about the regulations on potions. I love it when writers add a bit of detail to things like that, as it makes the world look real and as if the author thought about things.

I do think there's sort of a third option though. That the KILLER brewed the potion and gave it to Armstrong for whatever reason. O.K., that probably counts as illegal, especially if it helped kill him, but it wouldn't have been sold illegally and would be harder to trace than by looking for an illegal potions trader.

And she basically suggests this later.

I am suspicious of Daniel and Fred. It is possible Fred is covering for Daniel in some way.

I also wonder if Daniel has told Fred yet that he was wrong about Roxanne cheating.

You said Daniel was working on two "causes." Did you mean "cases"?

I really like the awkwardness between them. It's realistic.

Hmm, so Daniel was also drinking to a degree that had Roxanne worrying while they were together.

Judging from the murders in Ireland in the '90s, I think it's more a case of "have to treat them as separate unless you've reason to believe they're connected." I assumed the Guards had reason to believe those unconnected at first too, but it seems it's just a "no evidence either way" thing. And Daniel says the same thing.

There's something a little odd about Daniel's reaction to the mention of the potion. I can't put my finger on it. At first, I thought the Hit Wizards weren't aware of the potion for some reason.

So Daniel is Muggleborn and from a poor family. Nothing particularly significant there, I guess, but it's interesting to get a bit of background.

YES, the wizarding world seems pretty devoid of pastimes.

What is Jane up to? This is getting beyond feeling inadequate compared with Roxanne's career. She's got something to hide, I think. It's long enough now since the article and Roxanne hasn't been doing that much more, so it's not like it's being pushed in her face.

And I still think she's WAY too concerned about putting herself in a good light with Daniel, when HE doesn't seem at all worried about putting himself in a good light with her - drinking on call when he knows it's something she disapproves of, getting jealous when it was his jealousy of that guy that split them up in the first place and even if he doesn't want to get back together, he should still be trying to make up for accusing her of something she hadn't done.

 Report Review

Review #11, by MargaretLane Piece #8

22nd March 2015:
To be honest, I think the "T" carved into his body is more of an indication of some kind of dark organisation than the fact that dark spells were used. I'd imagine any spell likely to cause harm to somebody would be considered "dark" anyway, but carving a letter seems to me to indicate an organisation that wants to be noticed.

And YES, there is no such thing as impartial information.

It's also occurred to me to wonder how Fred heard of Roxanne supposedly cheating on Daniel. If he told her brother she cheated on him, without having any evidence she did so, and neglected to tell him of his OWN behaviour and the conflict it had been causing between himself and Roxanne, that strikes me as really nasty, and pretty manipulative, behaviour.

ĎSo, have you been working on any new products in the shop, dad, since I last came?í
"Dad" should probably have a capital "d" here, as it's being used as a title.

*laughs at the interaction between Angelina and Fred* He may be an adult now, but that doesn't change the fact that she's his Mammy.

OK, this part about Fred saying he wasn't in Knockturn Alley is weird. What exactly is he hiding?

Oh, of COURSE, he's the guy we saw being led out of somewhere, the guy who should apparently know why he was being taken. I'd forgotten about him, in the stress on Armstrong's body being found.

Hmm, I'm wondering about this co-chief executive. It COULD be for business reasons. A publicist doesn't need the wrong kind of publicity himself. But on the other hand, he could have something to hide.

This is sounding very like the Guards' comments on those string of disappearances in the '90s. No evidence to connect them. Despite certain similarities.

I also think it could be interesting to know Feist's own blood status.

Hmm, the last part is intriguing. It sounds sort of like drugs. But even if it is, that doesn't really indicate how it connects with the disappearances. And we don't even know that it is. I'm not even sure whether drugs would exist in the wizarding world - the same type, I mean. I would have expected stuff more like illegal potions. Hmm. It does open a few other avenues.

 Report Review

Review #12, by MargaretLane Piece #7

22nd March 2015:
I guess even if it IS Armstrong, the option of suicide still exists. From THEIR point of view, I mean. From ours, it is extremely unlikely, knowing what we do about the fact that there is DEFINITELY something dodgy going on.

My question is more, is it Armstrong, or is he a suspect for the murder? The fact you didn't name the captive as Armstrong makes me suspicious.

I can't help being amused by Roxanne's pondering over whether it is worse to have Miranda adore you or hate you. I think her hatred for Roxanne could be seen as a weird compliment actually. If she didn't see Roxanne as a threat, she wouldn't bother resenting her, which indicates she thinks Roxanne is likely to succeed in her career.

Hmm, they don't know she dated a Hit Wizard or just they don't know he gave her more information than she was willing to pass along? The latter makes perfect sense - she would be hounded to get information if her colleagues and bosses knew she had an "in" to investigations. The former would seem a little more odd. Of course, it COULD just be that they didn't want her colleagues trying to pump him or her for information. Or there could be something more personal to it.

I really like the way the next gen characters aren't so well known here. A lot of stories have them all virtual celebrities and...I don't know... It seems like it's rather a lot of people to be well known. But then, I get the impression that in other countries, the children of Prime Ministers and Presidents and people like that tend to be recognisable, so I don't really know what the most likely scenario is. But while George played a significant part in the war, it was no more than lots of other people, and while two of her uncles are part of the Golden Trio, that's a reasonably distant relationship.

Dominique is one of the next gen characters that seems to vary most from one fanfiction to another - in age and personality. I like the personality she has here.

That did occur to me as an option - that seeing Roxanne do well might make Jane feel more insecure. I've a feeling there could be more to it than that though.

Poor Teddy; it sounds like Victoire is taking the details of this wedding a lot more seriously than he is.

And I am interested in what horrified the Muggles so much. I mean, finding a body can't be nice, but from Dominique's reaction, I have the feeling it's more than just that. It sounds as if it might have been mutilated in some way.

A "T" carved into his right hand. Ugh. That's a bit freaky. And it must also MEAN something. I just wonder WHAT.

I think it would be weirder if traces of Dark Magic HADN'T been found. If he had been murdered completely Muggle style, that'd be weird. Dark curses are surely the norm when it comes to wizarding murders.

And now I'm wondering about the fact he was apparently found close to his home, despite the fact it looked like he was abducted in previous chapters. That again makes me question if the abducted man was him, along with the lack of a name. But on the other hand, somebody suggested in this chapter that no other wizards are missing. Hmm.

I don't think Dark Magic necessarily means Dark Lord types. After all, Harry used Dark Magic, although in one case, it was without KNOWING it was Dark Magic. Now of course, in this case, we can be fairly sure it wasn't an accident or necessity - at least, those are unlikely - but I suspect any murderer would be likely to use dark spells.

Ah! And I was just saying it sounded like nobody else had disappeared. Now, we're back again to the question of which missing wizard was that prisoner. Although, of course, it's possible this Feist only just disappeared.

I firstly assumed this was Hannah Abbott, but that's HARDLY likely if Roxanne described her as a young woman. Hannah must be at least twenty years older than her. And she'd probably be married to Neville at this point. A daughter or niece, perhaps. They would likely be around the right age.

 Report Review

Review #13, by MargaretLane Piece #6

20th March 2015:
LOVE the two-a-knut souvenirs. Actually, despite having now had the euro for thirteen years, we still speak of "pound shop" stuff, because "euro shop" just sounds silly.

And I like the way you indicate the ambiance of the cafe.

I remember a LONG era in which mobile phones were expensive enough to be classed as luxuries, so I'm not surprised it'd be quite a while before everybody in the wizarding world had one. There was a local priest who used to have one maybe 5 or 7 years before they became common, probably because of how priests are sometimes called at short notice for last rites.

And of course, it makes sense that journalists would be among the first to use them.

Both Jane and Daniel are clearly hiding something. I doubt they're BOTH involved with the villains. Daniel, I am quite suspicious of, though Jane seems to need money, which could make her corruptible. Hmm.

At least one of them is probably hiding something different though. And I've now considered the possible they are together behind Roxanne's back, but it seems like him cheating on her is a bit too obvious. I kind of suspect his odd behaviour is meant to SOUND like he's cheating on her, but is really something else.

It's also occurred to me that HIS odd behaviour could be accounted for by his job. Perhaps there is more to this abduction than meets the eye. I mean, the Hit Wizards may have had some reason to suspect something dodgy was going down for some time, which would both explain why he was working odd hours and why they appear to be hiding something. I'm thinking something like a new organisation of Dark Wizards forming - there certainly seems to be a group involved in this abduction or whatever it is - and their trying to keep it quiet so people won't panic at the thought of a repeat of the Death Eaters. Or possibly an undercover operation they need to keep quiet.

*laughs* I'm not really a fan of second hand books. They always seem to be in dreadful condition, even those that were only published a few years ago. The books I've had since I was 7 are in better condition than some of the ones I see that were only published in the last five years.

And Al is a Ravenclaw in this too. That's cool. I like seeing him in houses other than Slytherin and Gryffindor. Not that there's anything wrong with his being in either of those houses, but it's nice to see a variety and in the epilogue, he didn't come across as particularly brave or sly to me. Now, of course, that could just be because he's eleven years old and leaving home for the first time, but they wouldn't be the houses that would jump to mind to me for him.

*laughs* I'd say Harry has a LOT of experience with taking care not to be overheard.

He seems very inclined to believe she was cheating, just because he saw her dancing with a guy once.

This sentence is a little odd: "I think he knows something that heís hiding something from us, even if it has nothing to do with Armstrongís disappearance." There should probably either be a comma before the "that he's hiding something from us" or else only one something.

*laughs* Roxanne's opinion appears to be the same as mine. Somebody getting a promotion you wanted is a pretty minor reason for murder. Especially for somebody like Simon Upton, who presumably hasn't shown violent tendencies before - if he had, it would be all over the papers, I'm guessing. To kill over a promotion, I think you'd either have to be somebody who resorts to violence easily or else have a pressing need for that promotion - like you were in debt and really NEEDED the extra money or you needed access to something only a person of a higher rank than you are currently at would have. I'm thinking now of the possibility of some kind of conspiracy and the conspirators needing access to certain information they'd need to be at a certain level to be privy too.

Honestly, I'm more interested in these sudden good ideas that Armstrong had. A change in his thinking prior to disappearing is pretty intriguing.

I don't think I like Daniel. He was in a bad mood for months and behaving suspiciously, then he jumped to conclusions and accused her of something with no evidence, especially after HE'D been behaving in a way very consistent with somebody cheating, so if he wasn't, surely he'd consider she might not be either, and yet SHE is the one doing all the apologising. Yes, she DOES owe him an apology for having her arms around an other guy, but HE owes HER apologies for treating her badly and jumping to conclusions and also an explanation as to why he couldn't tell her anything in the weeks before that. I guess he did give a half apology, but really she has a WHOLE lot more to forgive him for than he does her, and he doesn't seem to acknowledge that at all. In fact, he even seems to be continuing to blame her for HIS insecurity.

Oooh, I wonder if this is Armstrong's body. I'm not ready to take that for granted yet, especially with what we've seen, that the characters haven't. It seems likely he is either a prisoner or, possibly, involved in something dodgy. Either way, he might not be the murder victim.

This is getting more and more interesting. The first two chapters didn't intrigue me anywhere near as much as the later ones. I thought they were GOOD, but I wasn't sort of "oh, have I time to read another chapter? I need to find out what happens next" as I am now.

 Report Review

Review #14, by MargaretLane Piece #5

17th March 2015:
LOVE the description of London at the beginning of this chapter.

Hmm, I wonder who this guy in the skyscraper is. Sounds like it's SOMEBODY in Conjuring Communications. Probably not Armstrong, but even THAT, I wouldn't COMPLETELY rule out. I assume this is the office of Conjuring Communications though, so it seems IMPROBABLE Armstrong would be there, although if he IS missing of his own account, it would be POSSIBLE for him to Floo or Apparate in without being seen. Unlikely though, as it'd be quite a risk.

And I wonder who have come for him - Hit wizards or the villains. Either is possible. If he's one of Armstrong's colleagues, particularly if he's Upton (there is a song about the "Lonely Woods of Upton" by the way), it is quite probable the Hit Wizards would want to question him. But it is also possible the villains may intend abducting more than one person.

I am sort of getting the impression it's the villains, but I guess we'll find out soon enough if somebody else disappears mysteriously. I sort of doubt the Hit Wizards would be that menacing, not without strong reasons to believe this guy IS involved in something criminal.

If they ARE villains, it seems like the man mentioned knows something.

And we're getting to meet more cousins. Yay.

Hmm, that part about people suspecting the Hit Wizards are about to question Upton makes it possible it is them in the first part of the story. Or maybe they'll go to speak with him and find he's disappeared too. Either way, I'm starting to think the man mentioned at the start might be him.

Or maybe that's what you WANT us to think. I have to keep in mind that you took care not to mention his name too. That indicate he might not be who we think he is.

Hmm, I'm starting to wonder if there's a reason Jane is avoiding her. You've tied it closely to the Armstrong story, so perhaps she knows something. Or perhaps she's just jealous that Roxanne's career is progressing. Or perhaps it's all coincidence. I must remember not to ignore her as a possible suspect though.

I'm also pretty suspicious of Daniel. It's clear there's something he's not telling her and it's quite possible he got involved in something dodgy.

I wonder if Fred knows about how Daniel was treating her all along. That strikes me as a good deal worse than just dancing with another guy.

LOVE the fact Lily's a Hit Wizard. I've read SO many stories where any combination of Albus, James, Scorpius, Hugo, Teddy and so on are Aurors and Lily and Rose are something like Healers or work in the Ministry. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter jobs, but I just feel like "why can't Lily ever be an Auror?" And this is close enough.

I actually like the fact the characters involved are Hit Wizards rather than Aurors too, as they rarely seem to appear in stories.

Poor Roxanne. But she really is pretty young. She has LOADS of time to meet the person she'll settle down with. Or to get back with Daniel if that's what's right for them both.

But I guess it's not going to feel that way immediately after a break up.

For the HPFF Fundraiser.

 Report Review

Review #15, by MargaretLane Piece #4

15th March 2015:
Ah! I was wondering who she was trying to attract the attention of. His workmates make sense. And of course, they would be expecting questions and might not be too willing to answer.

It must be awful for anybody close to him. There's a good chance at least some of his workmates are worried and the thought of it being news, of being something people read out of interest, probably wouldn't be very pleasant for them.

*laughs at them remembering her and her not remembering them* It makes sense, as kids look up to kids older than them, who often don't even know they exist.

Yeah, I can definitely imagine that taking notes would change something from a chat into something far more serious. I never thought of how a pensieve could be used by journalists, but it DOES seem like it'd make their job easier.

And I'm amused at the idea of Rose working in the legal section, as I've FINALLY decided my Rose is going to pursue a legal career when she leaves Hogwarts.

And hmm, this is interesting. He suddenly starts having interesting ideas, gets promoted and then disappears. I'm guessing there's a connection. Somebody suddenly having A really good idea, fair enough, but suddenly having a string of good ideas, when they don't appear to have had anything out of the ordinary before that - that's interesting. I don't know WHAT the relevance is. Maybe he got those ideas from somewhere, like somebody else was helping him with them or he just straight out stole somebody else's ideas. That'd give somebody a motive for murder. Or maybe one of his ideas threatened somebody in some way. Like introducing Muggle technology to the wizarding world could well put some traditional wizarding technologies out of business, like if somebody is making money out of connecting people to the Floo network or something. Or perhaps he stumbled on some kind of secret.

While everything is relevant, it doesn't seem to me that there's much in that whole Upton thing. Anybody who is promoted a couple of times in quick succession is likely to face some degree of resentment, especially as it's likely he is now higher than some people who were higher than him a year ago. But most people don't get murdered as a result of being promoted. Maybe if Upton was guaranteed Armstrong's job, but even then it would seem extreme. Something like sabotaging him would make more sense. I suspect there's more to this than just jealousy over promotions. And of course, for all we know Upton MAY have more reason to dislike him that these guys don't know about, but on the whole, I don't think he's very PROBABLE, at least not unless more emerges.

I'm guessing, though not certain that the captive is Armstrong. The fact you haven't named names though, makes me wonder. It could be that that's what we're MEANT to think. Armstrong could even be one of the abductors, but for the moment, I'll go with the idea he's PROBABLY the captive.

It looks like this isn't murder anyway, but it also looks like there's some conspiracy going on here. A murder could have a personal motive; THIS looks like something more serious.

The spells they are casting also remain vague. I'm thinking the Cruciatus, but perhaps it is something less common, even something new.

Bonfire night - one of these references that remind me we're in a different country here. Fireworks are illegal here anyway, so you wouldn't see them on sale in shops, but of course, the wizarding world might be different that way.

LOVE the idea of Angelina adding to the business. I can't see George as a businessman really, so having a wife that's skilled at that could be very useful. And I laughed at the hen night stuff.

*laughs at George threatening to stop selling Weasleys products to Ron if he doesn't shut up* I'd imagine that'd work, all right.

I'd be inclined to give "Dad" a capital "d" when it's being used as a title, like when she says "Dad says" rather than "my dad says". Same with "Mum".

It's interesting to see George worrying about his daughter, since nothing ever seemed to worry him in the books, but I guess your kids are different. There's a line in "The Field" about how a particular character was never afraid of anything, until her first child was born.

I like the way George and Angelina take the possibility of Armstrong being dead in their stride, because compared with a dictator taking over the country and torturing people, including teenagers, for fun, more or less, an ordinary murder isn't really that big a deal.

I think Nana Molly would hex them or something if she found out they weren't speaking for weeks on end. She's such a MAMMY. And of course, today being the day that's in it, there is a lot of talk about Mammies.

No, I don't think the ending was rushed and I loved the interactions between George and Angelina.

 Report Review

Review #16, by MargaretLane Piece #3

15th March 2015:
Hmm, this story is getting progressively more interesting.

And ooh, Conjuring Communications is playing more of a part than just showing the wizarding world as having changed in...I don't know, over twenty years. And I've now realised we don't know when Roxanne was born in this. In my story, she was born about 16 years after the wizarding war ended, but it's probably less here.

I really like the fact that your victim has a job in a company not established in canon. I don't know if that's to allow for a number of colleagues as suspects or what, but whatever the reason, it gives the wizarding world greater depth when extra things are added, especially when they seem to fit the world that already exists.

One thing that's standing out to me at the beginning of this is that you are using a lot of epitaphs, when pronouns would work and might sound better. Like "all attempts to contact the wizard" and "the reporter had been her mentor." In both those cases, I'd be inclined to replace "the wizard" and "the mentor" with "he". It's perfectly clear who's being referenced in each case.

Oooh, Miranda is mean. OK, so she got the story by default, but it's still pretty exciting.

And I can definitely see the wizarding world getting particularly jittery about disappearances, considering the memories they would bring back for older people. And possibly even some younger ones. The evictions in Ireland at the moment - because of the collapse of the housing market - are sort of creating some unease and it's well over 100 years since the Land League of the 19th century protested evictions and 165 since starving people were evicted in the Famine, so I think even people who hadn't lived through the war would have learnt enough about it and heard enough from their parents to be freaked out by disappearances.

I love the description of how consumed by the story she is. It's almost poetic and gives us an insight into how much she loves journalism.

I assume it's her relationship with Daniel that gives her an insight into how Hit Wizards work and this makes me wonder some more - is it just that he happened to mention some stuff about his job the way anybody might or is there more to it? Did she try and use her relationship with him to get information about something and did that lead to the breakdown of their relationship? Is he indiscreet? Or is there something else I haven't considered?

Again, you use Miranda's name rather a lot towards the end of the first section. As she's the only woman involved in the conversation apart from Roxanne, it'd still be perfectly clear who Roxanne was referring to if you used the word "she".

That part about her feeling slightly more alive is somewhat ominous. It indicates she really was feeling pretty bad before this.

Ah, this gives me something more of a clue as to when we are - Lily appears to be grown up anyway, so after 2024. I wonder what Lily's job is.

And she's obviously annoyed with Roxanne too. Whatever is going on in Roxanne's life, it seems to be pretty serious.

In this line, "For someone who must have interrogated hundreds, if not thousands, or suspects during her career, her poker face Ė at least when confronted with reporters - leaves a lot to be desired," I assume it should be "someone who must have interrogated hundreds, if not thousands OF suspects", rather than "or."

LOVE the comparison with Cornish pixies.

It sounds like they have some information that indicates the disappearance may be involuntary. Wonder what it is.

When Roxanne asks her question you've written that Lily's eyes "seem to instinctively find mind". I assume it should be "mine."

And you give us an immediate indication of the type of person Jensen Collins is from the way he appears to be sucking up to Roxanne because of her family connections. You do a really good job of showing the personalities of various characters, even when they only appear for short periods.

It can be hard to prove guilt, or even that it WAS murder, without a body. There were a string of disappearances in Ireland in the mid-90s that were never solved.

And what you've said about Jensen Collins reminds me of why I am sometimes cautious of mentioning World War II online - because I don't have grandparents who fought in it or were evacuated or any of the thing that happened to people in the UK and on the continent.

And hmm, that last part about Fred is intriguing. Of course, it's probably nothing. Knockturn Alley may be dodgy, but there are tons of reasons somebody might walk down it. If Fred is anything like his dad, it could even just be for the thrill, but the fact you've mentioned it makes me think there's some relevance to it.

 Report Review

Review #17, by MargaretLane Piece #2

14th March 2015:
You portray the sensory information well, if that doesn't sound too awkward or pretentious. I'm not sure how to express what I'm trying to say, but you really show how she's feeling - sick from the alcohol and the cold of the air and the salty smell.

I love the part about her accompanying reporters in the past. There's almost a sense of isolation about it, as if she felt sidelined on those occasions.

And the shout really sort of cut across what was happening and came almost as a shock. Something is happening here!

*laughs at her not admitting to reading anything other than the Prophet* That line amused me.

Hmm, Daniel seems like he's going to be relevant.

Love the description of how she feels like a vulture. Your writing is really descriptive and I like the way you address the moral dilemma inherent in journalism. Obviously, it's an important profession and it ensures people have access to information that makes things like cover-ups more difficult, but on the other hand, it can cause great upset to people involved. And of course, as a junior reporter, she has pretty much NO say as to how much she'll report, if she wants to progress in her job.

And you give us a fair amount of information about Richard in a few paragraphs. There seems to be a hint of scandal about him, but it seems fairly minor. So far, he doesn't seem a very likely villain.

Hmm, I wonder if he's Pansy's son.

And being noted for being divorced seems somewhat probable in the wizarding world, as few there seem to be.

Ah! Daniel is a hit wizard. *gathers some information*

And I'm now remembering George Bush's reaction to being interviewed by an Irish journalist. He didn't seem to enjoy the experience. It's the part about them having to allow questions they weren't prepared for that reminded me.

Yeah, a grown wizard disappearing doesn't seem to quite merit this level of concern. There must be something more to it.

And I'm now intrigued as to what could have happened between Roxanne and Daniel. It must be fairly serious if the idea that he said something about her jumps to mind, rather than the thought she might have made a faux-pas with her questioning. Of course, people DO sometimes feel fairly strongly of those who've hurt their colleagues, but still, under the circumstances of a possible murder investigation...

Hmm, there's something kind of interesting about Richard - perhaps the difference between his reputation and how seriously he takes his job or perhaps just the detail you've gone into about him. I'm beginning to think he'll play SOME part in this story, beyond that of just a photographer, though whether it's as a suspect or as a possible love interest for Roxanne or what, I don't know. Now that I think of it, maybe it's just THIS case he's serious about. We've no evidence he's serious about his job in general. He might just have specific reasons for wanting to know how much the Hit Wizards know about what's going on here.

Yikes, I didn't expect Daniel to APPEAR.

And I wonder what he means when he says she doesn't want to cover this story. Does he think the guy has just gone off with a girlfriend or something? Or does he just not want to run into Roxanne again? Or has he some nefarious reason for warning her off? At the moment, all those options seem possible. I don't think it's the first though. I think he might be trying to make out it's that, but I think there's something more. Whether it's personal or to do with the story though, I can't guess.

 Report Review

Review #18, by TreacleTart Piece #1

6th March 2015:
Hi Sian,

I'm TreacleTart aka Kaitlin and I'm here for our review swap!

What an intriguing story! The way you have developed each of your characters is brilliant. Regardless of how big or small the role they play in the chapter is, each one is quite well thought out and interesting. The way you compared Violet Toots to Rita Skeeter really made me understand who she is. Even though she's being nice in this particular chapter, you can feel an undercurrent of her searching for gossip.

Roxanne and Jane are spot on for 20-somethings. This line "We are twenty-three and our lives are a mess, and there are multiple occasions when we have found ourselves wondering where exactly the bright futures we were promised at Hogwarts have gone." describes a struggle that many young people go through. They leave school with great hopes and a few years out realize it isn't all that easy. You really, really handled that subject well.

I found the opening to be quite intriguing. I'm anxious to find out who the imperiused man is and who imperiused him. I'm also excited to see what they attacked him for and if he knew it was coming why he stuck around.

Your imagery in this is fantastic as well. Each location that you described was visible as I read the chapter. I could hear the office noise and sense the hustle-bustle of the day. It was almost like a movie. And then The Green Grindylow (great name btw)...it was like I was sitting in my own favorite dive bar.

I also felt that there was a nice balance between description and dialogue. I didn't find either side to be too heavy.

Everything flowed really well too. Each section of the story transitioned smoothly into the next one.

Unfortunately, in the way of a critique I don't have much to offer because you've done such a spectacular job at this. I did notice one small typo, but it's very nitpicky. When talking about Cormac McLaggen, you said "It sounds like half the league hate him." It should be hates.

All in all, an excellent story! Thanks for swapping with me. I'll be adding this to my current reading list, so I can see where this story takes Roxanne.

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #19, by MargaretLane Piece #1

6th March 2015:
Hmm, rather an intriguing opening. I'm guessing this guy is going to be forced into doing something as part of the mystery here, since it appears to be important we don't know who he is and we've seen him placed under the Imperius Curse.

I wonder if he's a canon character. Somehow I've a kind of feeling he might be.

It's rather interesting that he knows who his attacker is. Combined with his feeling of dread prior to the attack and the way you are hiding his identity from us, I've a feeling there's more to him than just an innocent victim. I don't really think he's a villain, but I think the villain may have some specific reason for targeting him, whether it's because of a previous grudge or because he has some specific role, like he works in the Ministry and they are going to try and seize control of that or something.

And GARDEN GNOMES? OK, I really didn't expect that.

Oh right, it's just in the sense of garden pests. I thought they were literally laying siege to the place or something. I do wonder if the fact it's Godric's Hollow will turn out to be relevant though.

And poor Roxanne. I can definitely imagine it'd be hurtful not to even have your full name confirming you've written an article, no matter how insignificant.

Roxanne isn't a character who appears that much in fanfiction, at least in the fanfiction I've read, so it'll be interesting to see how you portray her.

Oooh, Rita Skeeter is still around. I daresay she'll be stirring up trouble before the story is out.

Hmm, I wonder if the reference to Roxanne's "secrets" is relevant. It might just be a comment on Violet's personality, and of course, most people have something, no matter how small, they wouldn't want passed all around their workplace, but it could also be a first hint there's something more going on in Roxanne's life.

Wonder if Violet will include hurling or Gaelic Football in her article. Hurling seemed to confuse English Muggles enough; the wizarding reaction would be HILARIOUS.

Love the little details you include like that Violet is well connected enough to get away with things other members of staff might not.

And I really LOVE the fact that phones have been introduced to wizarding society. I love it when stories show the wizarding world having undergone changes since canon, without overdoing it. It doesn't seem like that they'd jump into worldwide web and iphones overnight, but changes from Harry's day seem likely. Mobiles that are old-fashioned by Muggle standards are definitely credible and I like the name of the company.

Hmm, I wonder what Jane does and why she's finding it so difficult to survive. I'm already feeling sorry for her and we've barely met her.

Oooh, the gossip about her. So I was right to wonder if the "secrets" she mentioned referred to more than just her not wanting everybody at work to know about her most embarrassing moments.

Sounds like she's having a bit of a rough time. Even that reference to not being able to celebrate her father's birthday gives the impression that although she wasn't even born, the war has had an impact on her life too.

I'm getting the impression she fell out with a boyfriend who was friends with her brother. But there's got to be more than that to it. Even if she cheated on him or something, it'd hardly be THIS big a deal. I suppose it could be, but I've a feeling it's pretty convoluted.

The being 23 reminds me of a conversation on a soap here in Ireland, "Fair City", where this girl was complaining about being broke, stuck living with her father that she didn't get on with and so on at 22 and somebody was like, "that's how it's meant to be at 22 and next year, you'll be 23 and it'll be the same." That sounds WAY more negative than it came across in the actually show. The point was, "you're still young. You're not meant to have life sorted out yet." When I was 23, I thought I should have, but now looking back, sure I'd barely finished college.

I'm guessing the man who went missing is the guy mentioned in the first paragraph. Hmm.

Interesting opening chapter. You've given us a lot to wonder about, between Roxanne's reasons for falling out with her family and the guy who gets Imperiused.

 Report Review

Review #20, by patronus_charm Piece #8

25th January 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Wow, Roxanne really is getting immersed into this job! I liked the beginning bit and how you showed the drudgery side to journalism because before it was all about the fun and glamorous bit, and I was starting to think this wouldnít be a bad job, but now Iíve seen how she has to endlessly question people, come up with crazy hypothesis and get shouted at by her boss so itís not so fun anymore. :P

That was certainly a very awkward moment when Fred wouldnít pass her the salt. I wonder if heís still holding some grudge against because of everything that happened with DanielÖ It was so sad to read that bit about how much he was missing Fred. Of course I knew he was, but just reading all of that and how he couldnít work for 6 months afterwards just made me all mushy instead, and if I could give George a hug right now I would.

Woah, *writes note to self* never, ever get on the bad side of Angelina as she really took Fred down and it was rather terrifying to say the least! Though Fred really does need to stop being an idiot because Roxy has sorted it all out, so yeah. I bet he was doing something illegal in Knockturn Alley though, thatís why he was being so cagey, there canít be another reason for it! Hmm, I wonder what he was actually doing nowÖ Seriously, I couldnít take that final awkward moment with Fred and Roxy, it was just too much, those guy really need to sort their issues out!

Ooh that wasnít the best start to the day for Roxy, was it? Having to rely on Violet to give her all the gossip about the latest update in the case. It is intriguing though, and the disappearance felt very Sherlock like in a way with the Muggle building and him just disappearing. Maybe the villain in the story is actually Moriarty? :P

I canít deal with that last scene! Who is it? Who is it? I can only possible think of Roxy because the woman had dark-hair, which is a bit of a silly guess. I do have a feeling that a Wotter possibly has something to do with this though, but weíll just have to see.

Such a fab chapter, and thanks for the shout-out! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

Yes, Roxy's definitely getting more into the nitty-gritty parts of journalism now, with lots to do, and she's starting to realise how stressful it is. There are certain sides to it which are kind of glamorous, and some of them are what attracted her to the career in the first place, but it's not as easy as things first seemed.

Relations between Roxy and Fred definitely aren't at their best right now! There's a lot going on between them and neither of them are acting particularly maturely about it - then again, I think feuds with siblings always turn people into children again.

Haha, definitely don't get on the bad side of Angelina! She's so awesome and was so much fun to write - Fred should know not to get on her bad side now. I'm intrigued about your theories of what Fred is doing, too. And you're right, they need to sort their issues out, but it might take a while!

Haha I can assure you that the villain in the story actually isn't Moriarty, although that's a fantastic guess and the story would be much better if it was :P And I can't comment on who it is that's in the last scene, but your theories are definitely interesting and I won't say that you're completely off the mark!

Thank you for such a lovely review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #21, by Lululuna Piece #8

23rd January 2015:
Hey Sian! :D (Aw, thanks for the shout out! I will pester you to update any time you wish :P)

It was really great to get to meet Fred properly and to see more of the family dynamics between them. I think your portrayal of him is so unique, he's often portrayed in fanfic as this joker sidekick prankster guy so seeing him more uptight and sensitive is really interesting. I also loved the interaction between all the family members, from George getting involving when he means business, to the way that Roxy is trying to keep the peace and not get visibly upset even though she is. Fred really is being so unfair and almost slandering her to her parents when they should hear the story of the breakup from her is just a low blow.

I'm glad Angelina and George stood up for Rox, however! They do seem like really good parents. I also liked the detail about George being the cook in the family, I always imagine all of Molly Weasley's kids knowing their way around a kitchen. :P

(Sidebar: I've been binge-watching Downton Abbey and just wrote that last paragraph in Mrs. Patmore's voice for some reason. Ahem. Anyway...)

I also thought it was really poignant when Rox mentioned how her father cared a lot about family, especially after the losses during the war. It shows how empathetic she is in understanding what her dad might be thinking. She really is such a thoughtful and observant person.

I still have no new ideas about the disappearances, but it's interesting how Roxy is re-visiting the blood status argument. It makes me think that although it felt wrong to even consider those prejudices still exist, sometimes they do have to face them. I still think it has something at least to do with the technology business, though. Sort of because from what we've seen of the criminals, they seem more politically/economically motivated than ideology-motivated.

For the last scene, I'm kind of suspecting right now that the dark-haired man is Fred. If he's dealing some strange drug it might explain why he was in Knockturn Alley, and maybe he's taking it too which could explain why he's been acting so angry and emotional.

As for the green eyed girl... hmm, I feel like that should be a clue. Miranda? I'll have to go back and investigate who has green eyes. Unless it's Harry or Albus disguised as a woman or something, haha, since they have green eyes.

Another superbly written chapter, Sian! :D I'm excited for the next one!! ♥

Author's Response: Hi again, Jenna! You might need to pester me more because in the last four months since this review, I've only updated four times, which is pretty embarrassing...

I haven't read many fanfics that have Fred as a central character so they might be different, but at the same time you're right that he's usually portrayed as the joker and sidekick. And he is a joker still, but at the same time there's another side to him; he does get uptight and sensitive about things, and he's fiercely loyal (although also pretty stubborn) and naturally that side of his personality comes out more clearly with the people who are closest to him. Siblings/parents are almost always the ones who suffer the brunt of any moods that family are having.

George and Angelina are SO fun to write. I really like the dynamics between them - before writing this they would have scared me but here they're pretty cool. Also I love the idea of George being the cook in the family and wearing the apron - it's kind of stereotypical in a way that it's going to be the woman doing all of that, and I didn't want to fall prey to that idea.

George places a lot of value on family because he knows what it's like to have family feuds and also to lose people in the family, and he doesn't want to see history repeating itself in any way if he can help it. I always think of Roxy as being quieter than Fred - even though she's not shy, she just observes more and notices more detail, which is one reason she makes a good journalist.

There definitely may be some link to the technology business, and Roxy has to revisit the blood status argument, but your theories are definitely interesting. And for the people in the final scene, as well - I won't say whether you're right or not, but something you've commented on may help you get on the right lines for the mystery!

Thank you so much for all of these lovely reviews, Jenna - they've meant so much to me and really helped motivate me to write again!


 Report Review

Review #22, by Randomcships Piece #8

20th January 2015:
God you update so quickly for a fic with of such high quality. Normally I would have to wait for about 2 months or more for an update on a fic as good as this. That said, I can't express in words how amazing this fic is. I mean, the the way the story comes together is just inspiring and the consistency. Not just in the plot but also the way you structure every piece is a testament to your talent as a writer. Also I really do believe that Janes absence is linked to the disappearances and I wonder if the both missing individuals working with muggles is a clue to find out who is behind the disappearances or it's linked more to the motive for the disappearances.

Author's Response: Hi! First, I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to respond to this review - I've been bad at replying lately, and this was so amazing it was hard to know what to say.

I'm so, so honoured by this review. It's really nice to know that people are reading this story and enjoying it, and the fact that you think it's high quality and that the plot and consistency are good means a lot to me. I thought this update was late in coming and I do mean to try and improve on the speed of my updates, but life keeps getting in the way.

Regardless, I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story and thank you so much for taking the time to make my day with this review. I hope that you keep reading and enjoying the story! :D


 Report Review

Review #23, by Lululuna Piece #7

15th January 2015:
Hello! :D Finally caught up, yay!! :)

This was such an eventful chapter! I'm so curious about what happened with Armstrong and why he was killed since we didn't get insight into the kidnappers this time. The scene at the end was so tantalizing. Hmm, I'm wondering if maybe they're attacking and kidnapping powerful wizards for the sake of possibly impersonating them, but maybe Armstrong's disappearance got too public before they could replace him with an impersonator or something. Then the reason why Miss Abbott wasn't supposed to say that he was missing could be because his co-workers were behind it or something, I'm not sure. :P This theory probably makes no sense, haha. I don't know what to make about the T on his hand.

I liked meeting Dom, she seems very down to earth and likable. The news about Victoire being a bridezilla made me laugh. :P

It was cute how Roxy and Daniel got to go to work together, even though their careers are separate. :P I also liked how predatory the press are with getting their stories and how clearly irritated the Hit Wizards get. I liked how you mentioned needing to Obliviate the Muggles and how they feel a bit uneasy about having to do it because it definitely is invasive and a bit unfair for the Muggles.

At first I wondered if Richard might actually be a vampire, but now he seems to be showing more werewolf symptoms. I'll have to wait and see on that one, haha.

So excited to finally say: can't wait until the next update! :D I'm really loving this story, Sian! ♥

Author's Response: Hello! And yay for catching up (although I've now added a few more chapters as well hehe, finally!)

There was definitely a lot going on in this chapter, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's also so fun to hear all of your theories about what's going on in this as well. Naturally I can't comment on your theories just now :P

Dom is another of the characters I really like writing; her and Lucy are both close to Roxy, but very different people at the same time, and it's nice to write the different characters.

When you think about something like this happening, there are so many potential complications when Muggles are involved and it's probably necessary to Obliviate them to keep the Statute, even if they don't want to have to.

As far as Richard is concerned - interesting theories, haha :P

Thank you so much for all these lovely reviews and catching up with the story! ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by Lululuna Piece #6

12th January 2015:
Hiii!! :D

The technology is still so new that itís extremely expensive, with prices that Daniel could hardly believe when he compared them to those in the Muggle world. If it wasnít for my job at the Prophet, which comes with a company phone, I wouldnít be able to afford one either. Ooh does this have something to do with the mystery? Maybe the kidnappers are against the Muggle technology, or want to take over the company or something since itís so wealthy? The way that Roxy keeps pointing out how much Muggle culture influences wizarding culture makes me think increasingly that it must be significant.

Aggie is so funny, but I feel bad for Jane that she has to work for her. :P

Okay I just have to mention this because it made me laugh but Chapters is the name of the largest bookstore chain here in Canada. Like, itís the Starbucks of Canadian bookstores in terms of the frequency with which it appears (ironically a lot of them actually have Starbucks in them). So when I read Chapters here where she said it was a ďMuggle cafťĒ I was like ďlol sweet little wizards, think Chapters is a little local cafť.Ē AND THEN I REALIZED that they must not have Chapters in England, which I never explicitly noticed when I was living there but it makes sense. :P So Iím not confused anymore, but I am still amused.

Ahem, anyway back to Daniel. I like how there are all the details about how awkward it is, like how theyíre awkward about not knowing who should pay. I feel like thatís such a common thing that couples do and to have to adjust to it after breaking up would be really disorienting.

Iím so glad Roxy got the chance to explain herself to Daniel! Itís good that theyíre taking things slow and seeing where they can go from there. I donít ship them too forcefully, because I feel like I donít quite trust him yet, but I do ship them tentatively for now, hehe.

This is such a minor detail but I loved the image of the old lady blushing through her powdered cheeks. It was just so neat and vibrant, I could really see it in my head.

Somehow Iím not sure the body is Armstrong, but luckily for me thereís one more chapter to read and find out! :D Yet another amazing chapter, Sian! :)

Author's Response: Hola otra vez!

Well, you should know by now that I can't really comment on your theories, but they're definitely interesting. Certain elements might even be right - all I'll say is that the Muggle technology is an important influence on the wizarding world now and will play quite a big role in the story.

Aggie is a bit of a dragon, but she was fun to write, even if she's a horrible boss.

We don't have Chapters! Not as a chain of bookshops anyway, so that was completely incidental and now when I finally make it to Canada, I'll be looking out for them :P

Yep, it's definitely confusing and difficult to adjust to not being together but still being around each other after a break-up - they were together for such a long time that they stopped thinking about any of those things, really, so it's kind of awkward now. But yes, Roxy got the chance to explain herself and there's a chance for them still! I'm intrigued that you're shipping them tentatively :P

Thank you for yet another great review, Jenna!


 Report Review

Review #25, by Lululuna Piece #5

12th January 2015:
Bonjour my belle!

Okay so you already know I loved the first few lines because they described my most beloved London. :P I like how the man calls the London eye a ďstrange Muggle wheelĒ too. It must be pretty odd for wizards.

I liked how the chapter began with Roxyís article! I didnít really suspect Upton anyway, but the fact that the kidnappers are going after the publicist, and not after Roxy, makes me think that they might not mind the press leading the public on a false trail. But now Iím worried that Upton himself will come after Roxy and try to curse her or sue her or something for publishing against him!

Ahh, we get to find out what happened with Daniel! Hearing Roxy tell the story Ė and knowing how honest she is Ė makes me angry with James and Fred for being so mean to her. Why should she stay in a relationship where her partner is being unexplicably rude and making her miserable? Although it does sound like perhaps he was going through something external from their relationship and was taking it out on Roxy. Hmm, I wonder if it has something to do with the case and these kidnappers going around Imperius-ing people?

Iím glad Lucy pointed out what I was thinking, how they were being unreasonable, and also decided to set things straight with their family as it is unfair of them not to at least listen to Roxyís side of the story. Lucy seems so great and supportive, itís awesome to see her in Roxyís corner while also helping Roxy understand their cousinsí behaviour.

Another awesome chapter and I'm so glad my curiosity has been satiated for now! ♥

Author's Response: Salut!

Hehe I think you love London much more than I do (and have probably visited it much more often than me too) but I'm really glad you liked the view of it. It's so fun telling the story from a magical perspective and trying to include all the little details like that which they'd view far differently to us.

I'm glad you liked Roxy's article - I wanted to show a bit of her writing, and it's fun to write some aspects of the story which aren't just the main narrative. You might be right about the actual kidnappers, too - at least, the theory's an interesting one!

Yes, you finally get to hear what happened with Daniel! I'm glad you feel that way - Roxy was in the wrong on one aspect, and she's punishing herself for it as much as Daniel is, but as you said, there are two sides to every story. James has heard a more skewed version of the story from Fred, and has a better reason for reacting so strongly, but both him and Fred are being pretty unreasonable. It's not the best time for Roxy right now, with all of this going on.

Lucy's one of my favourite characters - she's really awesome and doesn't take prisoners, so it's great for Roxy to have someone like that in her corner. I'm glad you liked her too and shared her point of view on it!

Thank you again for another awesome review! ♥


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>