Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell Piece #1

21st September 2014:
Aha! Finally, here I am with your review! Sorry for the delay. I've been at rehearsal all day, trying to read on my tiny little phone screen in my time off.

Oooh, creepy opening. What in heaven's name is going on? No, don't go to the door! You're never suppose to go to the door when you have a sense of foreboding?

And what is missing from his tea? That's a very interesting omission.

So, first of all, that title. After the imperious curse, it's such great juxtaposition. It adds a nice touch of humor.

Violet Toots. What a name. Very apropos for a sort of mirror image Rita Skeeter. †She seems like a pretty smooth operator. Even wary of her as Roxanne is, Violet manages to drum up some camaraderie with that comment about her dad.

Alright, I'm ignorant here, but what's a "trading standards organization"?

I†adore the way you describe the Daily Prophet offices. I can totally understand why Roxanne is willing to put up with so much to work there.

Poor Roxanne. Her assignments really are horrible. After 5 years? Ugh. No wonder she's upset.

For some reason I'm picturing William Higgins as a North & South era Richard Armitage. I don't know why I feel that way, and it may be wayyy off, but I thought I'd share ;)

I'm really liking the atmosphere you're setting up for the Green Grindylow. †Something about the way you describe the neighborhood and everything is giving me this sort of film noir feel? †It's not overstated, just sort of a subtle undertone, and I like that.

Oh, postgrad life. Thank you for sending me closer to panic over my fast approaching future. ;).†

What happened with Daniel? He was Roxanne's fiancť. Sounds like a real mess. But now I'm very curious. You do a good job of telling us just enough that we've got an idea what's happened, but you've still left us dying to know more, which is perfect, especially for a first chapter, and double-especially for a mystery. †Good work!

Oh wait! She's getting an assignment! A real assignment! Hoorah! I am so excited!

CC:

"Something about the sight of this beating heart of the newspaper is always enough to pull my lips into a smile...". I might suggest rewording slightly to say, "Something about the sight of this, the beating heart of the newspaper, is always enough to pull my lips into a smile."

---
Sian, how can I have gone so long without reading something of yours? It reads so smoothly, like a published novel. †I've really enjoyed it. Any time you want to swap, let me know. I'll have to add this to my reading list, for sure! †

Thanks for the review swap! I really enjoyed this chapter!

--Penny

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Review #2, by Slide Piece #2

11th September 2014:
I have been meaning to sit down and get to this. So! Sitting down.

This chapter starts with a good use of the present tense (proving my dubiousness kind of wrong), dumping us into the moment with an immediacy which helps set the scene. It's a good job painting the picture of the environment, and I certainly got a sense of creeping isolation which is starting to apply to Roxanne, too. She's out in the middle of nowhere, starting her own story on her own.

Ooh, Daniel's a Hit Wizard. So, reckoning whatever went down between them might have been conflict of law enforcement vs press. Or there WILL be such a conflict. That's my current bet.

I love stories dealing with the press because there's such an ambiguity to their work. The truth, but at what cost when it comes to legality, to privacy, to fairness? Those ideas are being seeded, and good on Roxanne for wanting the opportunity. I like that she's hungry for a chance, it's very realistic.

Richard's painted well as a character from the get-go. A less-than-attractive trait like yellow teeth makes him all the more real in a matter of sentences, and then the personal details keep him interesting. It's kind of nice that I can't tell if he'll be a regular character you're building up, or if he's just a part of the wider world who we'll move on from; either way it feels natural.

Martha Mockridge. ANOTHER good wizard name. And I like the tidbit about the Prophet now being fully independent; just a nice bit of world-development. That and the existence of wizarding press other than the Prophet itself or the Quibbler, entirely believable.

Seems Roxanne's question has stumbled on something; Mockridge's 'no comment' screamed, 'yes,' especially shutting down the questions afterwards. Good fact exposition of what's happened without getting clunky, too.

Ahaha, Daniel is here. Less analysis from me, more popcorn. He's all softening to see her, now he's getting protective, now he's giving a warning. Hm, he wouldn't give a warning if something weren't up, just as Hit Wizards wouldn't be here if it were nothing. But I like that her wishful thinking starts to interpret him as wanting something BETTER for her, it's a believable sort of misunderstanding.

Good second chapter! I feel we're getting more of a grasp of Roxanne and you didn't waste time progressing with the plot after the last chapter did a good job of introduction. Plus, pulling back more of the layers of Roxanne, her personality, her life, is always more interesting. I look forward to more!

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Review #3, by Slide Piece #1

3rd September 2014:
Here for the swap! And you left me such a lovely review I better make this a good 'un.

First up, it's a good opening. Lots of questions to ask. Who is he? Why is he thankful he's alone? Why 'for once', who's normally there? His shaking hands raise questions (and certain theories) as to what he's 'lacking'. Some stories start with action and some start with atmosphere; while there's action here, this one's way more about mystery. The Imperius gives it a nice, Serious sort of feel amongst the mundanity of tea-drinking and Mysterious visitors, but I'm feeling there are nice clues here which will make sense in time. I'm a sucker for mysteries.

And then to our intrepid lead. I must confess out of the gate: I'm not a huge fan of the present tense for storytelling, *generally*. I'd be curious as to why you're using it - but I know it can work well for mysteries, as then the narrator is learning facts at the same rate as the audience. And, rest assured - as I got into the story I just got into the flow, the tense wasn't a problem for me At All.

Our introduction to Roxanne and her Ordinary World is effective. The scene is set for the Prophet office nicely, a good drawing on all of the senses to give us her environment. Violet Toots (great name) is introduced perfectly - it takes a certain kind of lady to wear orange fingernail polish, and I enjoy how Roxanne is introduced kind of in contrast to her. Roxanne makes Violet talk about herself more, dodges questions, which makes me think of Roxanne already as pretty canny, good with people, and underestimated. And boy, do I feel sorry for Roxanne. Rotten, entry-level stories indeed. A rivalry with an unpleasant person who seems to have rocketed up the career ladder far faster.

I totally agree that wizarding society would have to start catching up with Muggle technology. With recent developments, I think it makes no sense that wizards would remain LESS capable than Muggles at communication. Either adopting and adapting that tech or finding purely magical ways to get the equivalent of a mobile phone make perfect sense. You may find in my reviews I'm easily distracted by little world-building nuggets like that, but I like it! It makes sense! Which leads us right into wizarding locations in London NOT in Diagon Alley, of which I also infinitely approve. Love the off-the-beaten-track feel of the Grindylow.

I shake my fist at you for putting clues at Mysterious Family Problems. Even if I do this myself to readers! Trouble with Fred! Trouble via proxy with James! I want to know all the secrets. And it always makes me sad to see George struggling throughout his life with his twin's death. It makes perfect sense, and perfect sense it would impact his marriage, and it's realistic - but sad.

So it seemed Roxanne dodged Violet's question about her love life for a reason more specific than just not wanting Violet to know personal things! I'm enjoying these little clues of Roxanne's life; I'm always a fan of stories which throw me into them and then tug away the layers as the story continues, revealing the personal alongside the plot. The relationship with Jane is well-crafted; you establish early on their strong connection and their rapport, the lives they're in as struggling young twenty-somethings. It's believable and very real while remaining rooted in the magical world.

And then Higgins comes along with our Call to Adventure (I'm feeling very Monomyth today), no doubt to link back up to prelude. So this was all setup, Ordinary World, but I enjoyed it greatly. You do a fine job of introducing Roxanne and her life, professional and personal, and it's full of conflicts and ups and downs which still feel believable, relatable, and compelling. You give the audience a taste, and dangle the threads to leave them wanting more. And I want more! Especially the family woes. I'm a sucker for family conflict.

I shall crack on with the second chapter, as this was plenty of fun, though I may sleep on it first. Glad I finally got around to this!

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Review #4, by Yoshi_Kitten Piece #1

3rd September 2014:
RoxiMalfoy from the forums here for our Review-Swap!! I'm gonna be reviewing as I read, so here we go...

Okay, so I love the title of this, and naming the chapters Piece #_ to coordinate with the 'Jigsaw' theme is such a brilliant idea! I really liked the beginning of this so far too. Already, you are raising so many questions on my head! Like who is this mystery man, and who is putting him under the Imperius Curse? Your attention to detail, especially with the teapot, was just so spectacular!! You really know how to set the mood and grab the reader's attention, that's for sure! :)

Personally, I love reading about characters in the journalism career. The way you described the activity going on inside the Daily Prophet was so detailed. I like how you have introduced this Violet Toots character and compared her to Rita Skeeter. She really seems.. unlikable tho, which I'm sure was your intention. Almost like she's just one of those girls who have always had everything handed to her, you know? Or at least, that's the impression that I got anyways. Here and this Miranda character both seem to be this way from my observations... It's sad that Roxanne is not as well known as I'm sure she deserves to be. I cannot wait to see how you have her making a name for herself throughout this novel. You have done a great job explaining on how she is the low-man-on-the-totem-pole for right now, the poor thing. I love all the details you have added in; like the was she comments on how Violet is on a first-name basis with the boss, and how Miranda started around the same time as her yet still got the big promotion over her. Roxanne seems like a very hard worker, and she's clearly dedicated to her job, so I feel like she deserves some recognition. Hopefully she gets some soon!

One thing I noticed, and I'm not sure if you meant to do this or not, but in your dialogue you are using [' '] marks instead of the proper quotation marks [" "] to show where they are talking. Its not too difficult to read tho, so its no big deal. I just wasnt sure if you were aware of this. If you did do that intentionally tho, feel free to just ignore me, lol. ^_^'

Also, I think part of the sentence may have gotten cut out in this section here:
The phones - as old fashioned as they are - have been a bigprophet announced a few years ago that they were going to be investing in the new technology made by Conjuring Communications, everyone was excited by the free phone that we got.
Not sure if that was supposed to be two sentences or not, but it looks like there are a few words missing. Sometimes the editor cuts sections of my sentences out too, whenever I copy+paste stuff over from my word processor to HPFF. I really hat it when this happens, lol... That being said, however, I got the meaning behind that paragraph there and I really like it a lot!! The name "Conjuring Communications" is such a good idea, and it is lovely to see that the Wizarding world is finally catching up to us, haha! =P

I liked them joking around about the exploding teapots possibly being connected to her father's joke shop. That really was funny to think about, especially when she made the 'exploding crockery line' comment... I still can't help but to wonder if this has anything to do with the teapot scene we read in the beginning? Are these two events connected in some way? Will this be the tie-in that Roxanne needs for her big break? I guess I will just have to read on to find out, lol!

Wow, you are so good at coming up with such original ideas and names for all these new and exciting places in the Wizarding world!! I really like the Green Grindylow; the idea, the name, everything! I like your description of the place too, and how it is set apart from the typical norm of places that we see characters hanging out at. I like how her and her friends are regulars there, and are on good terms with the manager. It just gives off this happy vibe and gives that section of the chapter a more warm feeling that the sections we read before. I like her friend Jane. You write them both so naturally in the way they interact. You can definitely tell that they have been such great friends since their first year of Hogwarts.

So who is Daniel? I am assuming that he is her Ex. But I can't help but wonder what happened between the two of them, and why was it so bad that it caused conflicts between here and her brother. Gah! SOO many questions! You have set this mystery up quite well. I love your characterization of Roxanne, she's got an interesting backstory and clearly things are not all working in her favor at all. She has layers, and depth, and this makes her very fun and exciting to read about. She is not Mary-Sue in any way shape of form that I can see. ALL your characters thus far are great, honestly!

The ending of the chapter was so gripping. I think I was holding my breath there for a minute when it came across the phone that her boss was calling her! (Seriously, the phone thing is brilliant, btw.) But YAY she has her first story!! Good for her, for now. But why do I get the feeling that this is not about to be anything she expects it to be after all? Honestly, if unforgivable curses are being used again, the person behind all this cannot be up to any good. Your plot here is already so fantastic!! I still can't believe that this is only the 1st chapter! Everything in this was just perfect and yo have set up what is to come so well!! I am definitely going to read more, and add this story to my favorites now. Thank you so much for the swap!!

100/10 - Seriously, your writing is amazing!
~Deana~

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Review #5, by patronus_charm Piece #2

26th August 2014:
Whoo onto chapter two!

Ooh your description at the start! ♥ It was so magical and mystical and I really loved it, and it really set the scene for the chapter. Roxanneís thoughts at that moment were cool too because it meant we got to learn a bit more about her, and it was really nice to see how set she was on solving this crime and how much it meant to her and that passion and drive revealed a lot about her. Also, all that information about the Hit Wizards and how the journalists go about getting information about the crime was really interesting.

I really loved the press conference and how wizards can have them as well as Muggles as that was good bridge between the two worlds. Also, it meant we could find out a lot more about the crime which was really interesting. I love how The Quibbler journalist went and asked the more obscure question of whether he had a job or not whereas everyone else was focused on the crime, they are always the odd onesÖ :P But, I agree with Roxanne, I canít help but worry that this might turn out to be a murder investigation.

Woah another mystery there with Daniel, Iím guessing some sort of old romance here? Iím not sure what to make of him though and the way he warned Roxanne off of this story. Either he really does think she could do something better or he knows something about this crime. The crime would be more interesting because maybe heís secretly evil and involved with the crime and is killing off all the journalists reporting it so thereís no snooping around and ruining it. Okay, that might be a little extreme but weíll have to see.

Great chapter and I canít wait for the next :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really glad you liked the description at the start of this chapter! I wanted to set the scene because this is kind of an important place in the story and obviously Roxy's really alert since it's her first proper scoop. I'm always a bit worried about overloading with the information but I'm glad you found it interesting!

Yes, I'm working on the basis that there's been some development from the end of the books since this is about thirty years later, and there's been a bigger influence from the Muggles. Haha, Obadiah Bonnette :P

All the mysteries! I think you might be on the right lines with the romance idea - you'll learn a bit more about Daniel in future chapters ;) Oh wow, that's a great theory and not one I've heard yet but it's certainly very interesting :P

Thank you for another great review!


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Review #6, by patronus_charm Piece #1

26th August 2014:
Yaya itís Jigsaw time :D

Woah that first section is so cool and so creepy and had left me wondering so many things, like who is that man, does the teapot have any significance or was it just placed there for the sake of it, and who cast imperio, so many questions and I canít wait to find out the answers! :D

Ooh Roxanne is a journalist, thatís really cool and Iím really liking her so far as she just has this lovely character which draws you in to her. Another thing I liked was the fact she just accepted that her dad was George Weasley and didnít make a big deal about it which was a nice change. Hmm, Violet, hmm, I feel as if sheíll always be someone who goes and raises a lot of questions throughout this story. I bet she has a secret or some connection to the first section, she just seems like that type. So Iím watching you Violet!

Another yay for The Green Grindylow, I really love new magical places so seeing that was really cool and you built it up really well too. Also, the more I read of this the more and more I like Roxanne so another yay for that. I really liked Jane too! There was something really lovely and warm about her that she just drew you in. Listening to their conversation was cool because it meant we get to find out loads about the wizarding world at that time and all the other Weasleys too. It was sweet to see that Ron was still a Chudley Canons fan after all this time too.

Ooh so Higgins is actually nice?! I have to admit I was very suspicious of him at first but then I tend to be suspicious of most person when the storyís a mystery, but heís gone and given Roxanne her first scoop so maybe he canít be that badÖ Well weíll see, and I canít wait to read on and see Roxanne crack this mystery! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Ah, Kiana, you're just too good to me!

Haha, I was going for creepy and intriguing so it's great that I seem to have managed that as you're asking questions and wondering about what happened with the man there!

I'm glad you liked Roxy! I didn't want to make a big deal about the fact that her father is George Weasley - obviously it affects her in some ways, but in others she has to make her own way in life and isn't getting ahead in her work just because of her family. Hmm, Violet definitely should be careful if you're watching her! ;)

I'm really glad you liked the Green Grindylow! You create such great magical settings and it was so fun to create this place for Jane and Roxy to hang out in. I'm glad you liked their conversation too and finding out more about what's going on at the time!

I'm with you on suspecting literally everyone when it comes to a mystery but yes, Higgins has finally given Roxanne her first scoop and so now she's got a story to go and crack!

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #7, by Unicorn_Charm Piece #1

21st August 2014:
Hi Sian! Here for our Review Exchange. :)

Usually when I read next gen, I typically go for Rose, Lily, Al, James, Scorpius stories, so I probably wouldn't have read this if I just stumbled across it. That being said, I'm really glad that I signed up for this exchange and had the chance to read this chapter. I loved it!

I'm really enjoying your characterization of Roxanne. She seems like the complete opposite of her father. A lot more reserved. And I truly love the fact that, even though she is a Weasley, she wasn't just handed an amazing career. That you have her starting from the bottom, just like anyone else. It makes it seem a little more realistic that way.

There was something about this that just seemed kind of dreary, which fit the mood perfectly. I feel like if this was a movie, or something I was watching on TV, the coloring on the screen would be greys and blues - if that makes sense.

I'm very curious as to who the man was that went missing in the beginning of this chapter. A part of me wonders if it was her ex(?), Daniel. Only because he was mentioned very briefly in this chapter. And why are her cousins and brother mad at her over this Daniel? Ahh! So many questions. I will most certainly be continuing on. ;)

I loved the fact that you created a "dive bar" in the Wizarding world. And the whole cell phone thing. I can just picture all of the Witches and Wizards walking around with those huge 1980's cell phones with the long antennas. I'm sure the Muggles would look at them like they were crazy, while playing on their smart phones.

You broke my heart a little, though. "...and with parents who cannot celebrate my father's birthday because of their grief" that line killed me. I never really thought of that before. I guess George, and Angelina for that matter, would have a hard time celebrating George's birthday. It would just be a yearly reminder for George that Fred is not growing with him. How horribly sad.

This was really, truly very good. Your writing has a very effortless flow to it, very easy to read. The opening was fantastic, it sucked me in immediately. The pacing was perfect. There was not one point that I felt like this chapter was dragging, or went by so quickly I felt like I missed something.

Well done so far! I will most definitely be reading on. :)

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

I'm glad that you enjoyed this first chapter, even if it isn't something that you'd normally have read! I've read a lot of stories about those characters as well, but I always enjoy writing about a character who isn't portrayed a lot in fanfiction.

Roxy isn't the complete opposite to her dad, but at this point she's a lot more reserved - there are certain things she doesn't want to reveal to her colleagues which are making her a bit more reticent. But yeah, she's a bit quieter than her dad!

I'm really glad that you picked up on that - while I was worried it would seem too boring, I also wanted to show the monotony of Roxanne's life at this point, so it's great you could picture this in dull colours!

It's great that you're curious about the man in the opening of the chapter! I can't say who he is just yet, but if you get the chance to read on then you'll find out ;)

I love creating new settings in the wizarding world and I'm really pleased you liked the way I introduced some Muggle technology into their world as well!

Ah, I'm sorry about that! I promise that when he arrives in this story, George won't be all morose, but he does still grieve for his brother!

I'm so pleased that you liked this chapter and felt that the flow and pacing worked well too. Thank you so much for this great review!


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Review #8, by teh tarik Piece #2

19th August 2014:
Hello again, Sian!

Ooh, I'm so so glad to see that this has been updated! And things are indeed very mysterious! This Malcolm Armstrong's disappearance is intriguing. I have a feeling that the Hitwizards are concealing some very crucial info, which they don't want the press to get hold of. And the press can somehow sense this, which is why they're flocking like relentless vultures outside the Armstrong house. Haha, Roxanne does indeed recognise the vulture-like nature of the gathered journalists, and it was really amusing to read that she was a little bothered by all this. But I'm sure Roxanne will grow more comfortable with her job; after all, this will be a first big story!

I really, really love how much careful detail you've put into developing Roxanne's job, and professional environment, and the way the newspapers and journalists work in the wizarding world! Right down to the hierarchies and petty rivalries, e.g. between Amanda Cuthbert and Obadiah Bonnette. It's a tough environment for Roxanne indeed.

And Daniel! Gah, I love his introduction here! OK, Hit Wizard Daniel sounds *cough* sexy and mysterious and there's definitely a whole lot of stuff going on between him and Roxanne; I can't wait to find out about their history! There's something very intimate about that chance encounter between them, and clearly something very bad must have happened, because Roxanne is quite distraught at the end. :( Daniel and Roxanne's strange relationship is like a side-mystery to the main mystery of the fic!

I loved this chapter, Sian! I think everything's very nicely paced and your characters are developing well! Can't wait for the next one. ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!

I'm so glad to see you back here already, it really means a lot to me! The Hit Wizards could well be concealing some information from the journalists right now - they're certainly not giving too much away at this point, because they've only just discovered the disappearance. Roxy's still a bit unsure about some of the less pleasant aspects of her job but at the same time she's very ambitious.

Yay, I'm really pleased you like the details about Roxy's job and the sort of environment she's going to be working in. It's not the easiest place to work, you're right about that!

I'm so excited that you liked Daniel's introduction here - after some of the hints in the first chapter I was worried people would be disappointed to see him. There is a lot of history there and you'll find out over the next few chapters what happened between them!

Thank you so much for this fantastic review, teh, you're spoiling me at the moment! I'm really happy that you're enjoying it! ♥


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Review #9, by coolgf Piece #2

18th August 2014:
This is cool. What happened between them ? Can't wait for more.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! You'll find out what happened between them in a few chapters :) Thank you for taking the time to review!

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Review #10, by randomwriter Piece #1

16th August 2014:
Sharn ♥ I'm finally here, and I am so very sorry for taking this long. I've been far too busy, you know, and even this comes in between assignments. Anyway, I'm not going to moan here.

First of all, I WILL CRY if this review disappears. Literally cry.

I should probably squee about your story now, but I don't even know where to start. I shall tell you that I am glad that this is a novel. Because it means that I'll have loads to read. This was of substantial length, but I was so upset when it ended because I loved every word of it so far!

I really like how you started this off. That introductory section was mysterious and intriguing. It drew me in and definitely popped a lot of questions in my mind. I hate that I will have to wait, because my mind has started formulating vague and stupid theories already :p I know I will have to read on for more information (and any chance of making a guess), but I really like how you've got me thinking. The detail was amazing. The quivering hands, his thoughts, the fear-- the emotion leapt off the screen and set the mood, which was quite tense and uhh, mysterious (yeah, I'm going to use that word a lot, I think). Anyway, it was the perfect introduction because it gave us an insight, however brief, into the basis of this story and the disappearance itself is very interesting and raises a lot of questions.

The sections after that were a really nice contrast. While the first part was centred on a rather curious and edgy affair, the next parts revolved around mundane occurrences. It was nice to see how well you transitioned between the two.

I really like Roxanne here. It's nice to read the story from her point of view and I think you've crafted her quite well. As this was the first chapter, you've introduced her and given us details about her life, and rightly so. However, as expository as it was, I admire you for not letting it read like a bio-data. I like how you incorporated the details of her life into conversations, reactions and thoughts as it makes it more appealing to the reader.

Her work had me laughing though :p Lawn gnomes? Exploding teapots? Ah, how sad it is that the only purpose of her work is to fill up space in the paper. Still, I had a good chuckle when I read it because the incidents themselves are quite funny. And this teapot lady, who has sworn off tea for life... HAHAHAHA :P Blasphemy! I couldn't keep a straight face when you wrote about hoe concerned she was. Could it be that she had bought this off Mundungus? :D

As for Violet, I don't know how I feel about her yet. She sure seems tons nicer than this Miranda woman, but at the same time she seems like she's on the prowl to find some dirt on people, not necessarily to hard them-- but you know the kinds. In any case, she doesn't seem particularly harmful at this stage at it was interesting to read about her :)

I like how you've described her job and the office. You've written it so well that I had no trouble picturing the set up and the workings of the prophet office. It was very realistic and actually did remind me of a newspaper office, so great job with that! The hustle and bustle of office, lined with rows of desks and people slogging away on their work came alive. As for the typewriters and crisp sheets of paper and the likes- Ah, it made me smile so much. I have a huge thing for typewriters and I would LOVE to own one. A vintage one, especially!

The bit about George got me. It was so sad. I love that you included him in such an apt way. I definitely wouldn't put it past him to sell such things, but the fact that celebrating his birthday is near impossible because of the memories- GARGH, so sad ;'(

Finally, your last section was really well written as well. I like how realistic it was. It reminded me of people in their early twenties, restless and frustrated because life isn't everything they dreamed it would be when they got out of college. The cheap drinks, the moaning, catching up was all so well written. I love how you set the scene here as well. The detail about the bar, its location, the crowd, the owner and everything just added to your piece and got me into this even more.

Their conversation was quite interesting, as it gave us more information about Roxy and her relationships. It also made me more curious. I really want to know what happened with her and Fred and also about what happened between her and Daniel, who I assume must have been her fiance. The 'bare finger' is what gave me that idea.

The ending was lovely! It really breathed excitement into me as well. It brought me back to the emotion of the first sequence, making me tense and edgy all over again. Now I'm back in that frame of mind where I need answers. I want to solve this mystery with Roxanne! I love this genre! :D

I also loved the flow of this piece. It reads well and is easy to follow. At the same time, there's never a point where it gets a little too much nor does it get boring. The balance between description and dialogue is lovely and it makes this more amazing than it already is!

I also love, love, love how realistic this whole piece is! The people, the job and the situations they are... everything is incredibly realistic and easy, on some level, to relate to. I like how Roxanne isn't getting her way just because of her last name. It's sad, but it makes this more believable.

I think I spotted one typo, but I can't seem to find it now. Doesn't matter- it detracts nothing.

Now that the technicalities are out of the way, I am so so so glad you got this up :D I LOVE it and it has been worth every second of the wait, though I'm not patient and I would love quick updates now that this is out there :p This is going to be very, very enjoyable, I can tell. Great job, Sian! I'm so excited to have read this. FINALLY. And I promise I will swing by earlier in future. I won;t be able to stop myself :p GREAT work ♥ I love this story, and you!

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, Adi! This review is absolutely incredible and I can't even begin to try and respond coherently, it's kind of intimidating to come up with something to say but I'll try my best :P

I'm really happy that you liked the opening section of the chapter! I wanted to begin with something intriguing and try and grab the reader's attention a bit so it's amazing that it seems to have worked. You've definitely had a glimpse of the basis for the mystery and I'm glad that you're already asking questions and trying to come up with theories! :D

The transitions between the sections were something I worried about so I'm pleased that you think they worked, even though they're more mundane and everyday.

I'm so pleased that you like Roxy! I've spent a lot of time working on this story so I've become quite attached to her now; I'm happy that it didn't read like I was just overloading you with information! She does love her job and work at the Prophet, but the stories that she's writing are so boring and then her colleagues are... interesting. Violet's definitely nicer than Miranda, but does like to gossip!

Ah, I love the idea of them using typewriters, because I'd love one too! And I'm sorry that I had to make you sad about George, though! ♥

I'm really happy that you liked the final section with Jane as well. I wanted it to seem realistic and believable, so it's great that you thought it was. And yes, there are certain hints there but I'm not going to give away too much about what's happened - you'll find out in a few chapters!

Yay, I'm glad you're excited to solve the mystery with Roxy and that you thought it was realistic, because that was my main aim with this chapter. I want these characters to seem believable and easy to relate to, and I can't tell you how happy I am you think they are!

Thank you SO much for this incredible review, Adi - it means so much to me! ♥


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Review #11, by teh tarik Piece #1

14th August 2014:
Hey Sian!

You left me such brilliant reviews that I thought I'd swing by your AP! Besides, it's been ages since I read anything by you, and I've always loved your writing - you're a brilliant author! :) I think I might have seen you post a status about a new WIP some weeks ago? Well, it's great to finally be here checking this out!

First, I love how carefully you've set up everything: Roxanne's life, her working relationships and friendships, and her dull job at the Prophet. I giggled a bit (and then felt terribly bad for her) at the drivel she has to write: Godric's Hollow being besieged by garden gnomes indeed. Ooh, Violet was such a fun character to read about! It sounds like she's way nicer than this Miranda person, but Roxanne still has to tread carefully around her because there's likely to be an ulterior motive with Violet. Digging. Fishing for gossip. Gossip is definitely a big thing with Roxy's job, and it looks like she's quite affected by it as well.

I love the little details, the hints you dropped about the state of Roxy's personal life. The conflicts with her cousins and family, the divisions within the extended Weasley clan, and her possible love-life troubles. When you referred to her 'bare unadorned fingers' I kind of thought that something might have gone wrong, that there might have been a ring involved somewhere. I can't wait to read more and find out. I love stories which get me invested in the protagonists and their personal conflicts right from the onset, and your Roxanne is beautifully developed, despite this being the first chapter only.

The scene with Jane at the bar was lovely. It's something very familiar, very normal. I love the detail about The Green Grindylow as an old Victorian building! And their banter about the general crappiness of their day jobs. :P

Finally, this is a mystery! I'm excited for this! I love mysteries, and the opening segment was so intriguing and more than a little unsettling as well. I think you made the right choice in starting the fic away from Roxanne's POV; it gives the reader a greater perspective as to what's happening, and it broadens the story right up.

Anyway, this is a fabulous first chapter, Sian! I can't wait for an update! :)

Author's Response: Hi teh! Ah, I'm so flattered and excited to see you here, especially since I'm such a massive admirer of your writing!

I'm really pleased that you like the way I set up Roxy's life here, with the way that she's frustrated in her work and the sort of articles that she has to write at the Prophet. Violet was so fun to write and definitely is nicer than Miranda, but there are issues with gossip that Roxy's trying her best to work round.

Eep, I'm so happy that you think Roxanne's well developed already! I've put a lot of effort into trying to craft her character and work out the little details that make up her family relationships and her background, and it's great that it seems to have worked!

It was really nice to write the scene with Jane, because I love how normal and easy their friendship is. They're both a bit disappointed with their rubbish jobs at the moment!

Yay, I'm glad that you're intrigued about the mystery! There's more to come and I'm hoping that you continue to enjoy it!

Sian :)


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Review #12, by Aphoride Piece #1

11th August 2014:
Hi Sian! I was so glad when I saw you in the review tag, because it meant I could stop by and get a chance to thank you for all the lovely reviews you've left me recently! Plus, it means I got a chance to have a look at your new stories - both of which look so good and so interesting - since I'm short on time atm and excuses are necessary :P

I love the different sections in this - how you start off with the man being cursed and all of that, and then with Roxy at the newspaper (which is such a good idea for a murder mystery, btw! I'm also jealous I didn't think of it first :P). They flow so beautifully together.

Roxy is such a wonderful character! I love how she's so dissatisfied with her life as it is, but at the same time is so in love with her chosen career and so determined to make it that she's still there, still going. She's so realistic, you know, in that she's not amazingly successful and has difficult relationships (like with Daniel, and Fred and everything that went on there - which I'm so incredibly curious about, I have to admit!).

The newspaper is just awesome. I can imagine it so clearly in my head - with all of the people there, and the little desks and Higgins being so rude and angry and everything... your writing is just so lovely - so evocative - and really allows the image to almost come alive. It's just gorgeous. And you're so so good at writing the mysterious bits too, without making them confusing or anything.

The details in this were amazing, too. I loved the Quidditch chat and the drinks and how the barman knew them so well, and the use of muggle technology - I have to be honest, it's one of my pet peeves, but in this it worked because it was so strange for them, you know? Like, they didn't just suddenly get it and be fine with it. It was weird and new for them, and I loved that!

So, yes, this is just a gorgeous, wonderfully-written start. I'm so hooked on what's happened already and so desperate to know more. I may poke you on twitter/hpff asking for updates. Please don't be alarmed :P

Please update soon! Favourited! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Ah, I was so excited to see that you'd chosen to review this story when you followed me in review tag, because I've put a lot of work into it, and it means so much to get this fantastic review from you!

I'm really pleased that you think the different sections flowed well! I was worried that it might seem too stilted but I wanted to include the opening section especially to introduce more of the mystery.

I'm thrilled that you like Roxy! I've been working on this story for quite a while now so I've grown quite attached to her - it was important to me that she was realistic and didn't have the perfect life and job. Everything's a bit rubbish for her at the moment, actually, but she is ambitious and loves her work.

It's brilliant that you could imagine the Prophet offices! I have a really clear image of them in my head too, and was hoping that I could convey that; the atmosphere there and the sense of belonging to something much bigger are one of the reasons Roxy loves working there. I'm really pleased that you liked the mysterious parts too, and hat they didn't seem to confusing!

I was a bit hesitant about whether to include Muggle technology or not, because I think sometimes it's made to seem too easy. It's only a recent addition to their world here, and I imagine the phones being like the earlier ones from the 90s, only being able to phone and not much else.

Thank you so much for this amazing review! I'm hoping to post an update soon! ♥


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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Piece #1

4th August 2014:
Hey hey hey Sian!

Eek I'm so excited you've put this up here! I've been waiting so long! I know you've really been panicking about this Sian, but you really shouldn't... it's fantastic!

The first section. Man it really puts me on edge. You got so much tension into those few sentences! You also leave me completely puzzled about this man and who he is and how he got involved with this other cloaked figure. I have so many questions Sian! You have to hurry and post more so they can be answered!

Your description of the Daily Prophet was lovely, I really lost myself in it. You got both Roxi's annoyance at not having the name for herself she wants as well as her love of the paper and why she stays there. I could literally see and hear everything. It was brilliant.

I liked the parallels between Violet and Rita Skeeter! Her interest in Roxi's personal life definitely brought that out. But there was definitely a bit of tension from Roxi when her man was brought up! I look forward to reading more...

Just saying the added bit about George selling teacups - loved it! But then my heart broke when you said her parents can't celebrate his birthday.

Janes an interesting friend, and I loved the chatter they had. You could see they were really close and the conversation was really natural and not forced at all. You still built up the tension around Daniel though!

Ah! She has her first story. Fantastic end to the first chapter, I can't wait to read more! Honestly Sian, this is fantastic, please don't be worried!

Can't wait to read more :)

Lauren

Author's Response: Lauren!

I'm so excited to see you here and thank you so much for being patient with me and waiting and encouraging and everything, because I couldn't have done it without you!

Yay, tension is what I was hoping for, something mysterious and a little bit creepy. The questions will be answered in time!

I really enjoyed imagining the Prophet offices, and I'm so happy you liked the descriptions. At this point Roxy's really frustrated with her work but she does still love working there, and I wanted to get that across.

Poor Roxy, she hasn't got the best of colleagues here, and Violet's a bit of a busybody. Hmm, you're right to pick up on the tension ;)

I'm glad you liked the line about George selling the teacups! It was nice to inject some humour and a mention of her family in there, but I did feel a bit bad when I wrote about his birthday.

Jane and Roxy have been friends for about twelve years by this point so they're really close, and I'm glad that you could pick up on that too, and that the conversation seemed natural!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Lauren! You've reassured me so much! ♥


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Review #14, by TidalDragon Piece #1

4th August 2014:
Howdy Sian! Before I get to legitimate comments, can I just say how nifty it is that your first chapter of your first novel ends the way it does. Obviously it's far from your first story, because your stories are brilliant, but at the same time, it's a first of sorts for you and it just struck me as really cool.

ANYWAY, I really liked how patient you were with this. I'm constantly running into an irritation with writing some of the "day in the life" scenes like you captured in this chapter, but they're truly instrumental to getting to know your characters and I thought they were very well done. Everyone seemed natural and differentiable and it was so nice to read. Like an honest-to-goodness book!

I also really liked the balance of description, internal thought and dialogue! I always think this is one of the biggest things and I've been a huge hypocrite about it lately, but this was really well done. You set scenes nicely without being too detailed and took us inside Rose's head enough to get a feel for her beyond her outward interactions, but still got enough characters involved in the mix to make her life feel real.

I'm really excited to see where it goes!

Author's Response: Hi Kevin! Ah, I'm so excited to see you here! And you're right, this is a big first for me, and I was really nervous to post this, so all these comments are really reassuring and helpful! Although I hadn't even noticed the link between me and Roxy there at the end until you pointed it out :P

This chapter's been in the works for a LONG time... like, over a year, maybe? The idea's essentially stayed the same throughout though and I'm really pleased that you think I did well with it, introducing the characters and things like that. And wow, that's a massive compliment, and I'm just dancing a little bit inside right now! *hugs*

That's such a huge relief to hear (or read) that you thought the balance between them worked well! It's something that I always worry about, but particularly in this chapter since I wanted to manage to do all of those things, setting the scene and introducing you to Roxy and the other characters. I'm glad that it's gone to plan!

Thank you for this incredible review, Kevin, it completely made my day!


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Review #15, by MissesWeasley123 Piece #1

4th August 2014:
BACK OFF WORLD BACK THE HELL AWAY
AS NADIA
IS HERE
TO CLAIM
FIRST REVIEW I SURE AS HELL BETTER BE FIRST OMG

OKAY SO OKAY
ha.
I am more excited than you for this Sian hmm yeah.

what do I even talk about?

I love the beginning so much! It's really creepy AND YOUR DESCRIPTIONS and I know how much you've worked on this and it's so brilliant!

The way you've crafted Olivia's character which is a bit annoying lol AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR DANIEL OMG BABE ALERT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER???

Jane's character's so cool and haha REMEMBER WHEN U TOLD ME ROXY WAS BLONDE BUT YOU WERE KIDDING SO GOOD as Jane's the blonde one :P

I totally just rambled BUT CONGRATS ON THIS EPIC NOVEL ♥

I'm favouriting and it's so interesting, I love this so much and ahhh!!!
okay
done

bye.

Author's Response: NADIA! ♥

Seriously, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were so eager to get the first review on this story! I'm really pleased you're excited for it because oh my goodness, I was so nervous, and I'm glad that it didn't disappoint!

Well really, you should get some credit for the beginning of this chapter because you're the one who sparked the idea in the first place, so thank YOU for that! Teehee, creepy is what I'm going for there!

Violet is just like... ugh. I feel sorry for Roxanne, as she has some very difficult people to work with! And yes, there may be an appearance for Daniel in the next chapter!

I'm really glad you like Jane! She's going to have a big part to play in this and yes haha, she's the blonde one.

Thank you so much for this amazing review and the favourite, love! ♥


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