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Reading Reviews for Sunshine
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin Hero

12th July 2015:
Hello! Here for for TAR round 5!

Oh, how cute! I really loved this!!!

Honestly, I think you did an amazing job with both the fluff genre and the Post Hogwarts era. You gave the perfect atmosphere to the story, the reader could really feel the relief of the end of the war, the joy of the families reunited, the heat of the affection among all the people around.
I also liked very much your description of the sunlight that filters into the Great Hall. I love the symbolism behind it, the start of a new day, a new era of peace, the defeat of the darkness. Truly beautiful.
Your characterisation of Neville was interesting. I loved the contrast between his thoughts and everything around him. The fact that he feels lost because he no longer has a purpose, and guilty for feeling that way, makes me smile. But than he reflects on all the people who still love and exteem him, and he realize that even if the war is over he's still a brave and determined man, he's still a hero.
Oh, his encounter with Hannah is sooo sweet!!! I loved it so much!
Lovely work on this!
A huge hug!
Chiara - for 2015 House Cup - Hufflepuff

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Review #2, by Freda_and_Georgina Hero

4th May 2015:
It's no surprise he's in a daze right after the final battle; but oh he's still a hero! Just a "retired hero" at worst! Auror position calling?

And just when I think he might be getting a bit puffed up with pride, you throw in Hannah to show that he still is human; and it gives him humility again, but still pride.

Hey we pulled stories off the collab as well for Big Things Too! (A short story collection involving baby Teddy.) Fluff is best to write in a cheerful mood, and I think for any writing or era it's good to look at what others have done. (We also avoid Post-Hogwarts and Hogwarts Era.) This was good! I think you did well with Neville.


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Review #3, by SunshineDaisies Hero

2nd May 2015:
This is beautiful.

Not anything like I was expecting, but those are the best stories sometimes.

Neville is so perfect. You absolutely nailed it with him. He's obviously grown, matured, and gotten more confident, but he isn't a completely different person than he was at age eleven. It can be really difficult to age characters up like that, and you've done it SO WELL.


So, moving on, I really like the style of this. I think present tense was the perfect choice for this scene. It really brings the reader right into the moment, and this is the type of situation where you have to be in the moment. It's one of those things where everything has happened so quickly and you're in such a daze that it doesn't all seem real. And when you look back, you can't possibly remember it all, or get all the details right. It's a situation that demands present tense, really. And all that other stuff about it feeling like a daze? You nailed all of that too.

(I read on your about page on the forums that present tense is sort of your thing and I am amazed by it. So many people default to past tense because it's easier and it's so refreshing to read present tense. And sometimes present tense comes off a little awkward, but not here nope because it's perfect.)

So in case I've left any doubt: THIS IS PERFECT. PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT. And I'm REALLY excited for more!

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Review #4, by TreacleTart-Double Round 6/7 Hero

12th April 2015:
Hey Adi,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Capture The Flag Review Battle Double Round Mayhem 6/7!

Neville is one of my absolute favorite characters, so I was thrilled to see this. He starts his life in such a tragic fashion, so this was a lovely contrast. I don't know if I would exactly call it a happy scene, but there is definitely a sense of accomplishment for him here having successfully led the resistance against the Carrows in Harry's absence and then having destroyed a Horcrux. He certainly is a hero in those regards.

I thought the way he pointed out how the different people in his life thought of him after the war ended was clever. His grandmother would be the biggest change naturally, since she spent most of his life being incredibly critical of him. I think it would be a comforting thought for him to know that his grandmother is finally proud of him.

Luna's admiration of him was so sweet too. Honestly, I always wished the two of them had ended up together, but I suppose I can't have everything I want. When I got to the paragraph about her, that's where I thought this was going, but then I remembered the summary said it was a Neville/Hannah pairing.

The fleeting glances between Neville and Hannah were so cute. The thought of Neville still being so shy after all they've been through is adorable.

Another good story as always!


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Review #5, by Unicorn_Charm - Attack Post: Round 7 Hero

12th April 2015:
Hi Adi!

Neville is a hero, he should never doubt that! I thought you did a spectacular job with Neville here. This may have just become my head canon for immediately after Voldemort fell. It's funny that he felt a bit empty after, because I always wondered if a part of them (The Trio and the DA) would feel that way. For most of them - especially Harry, Ron and Hermione - fighting was all they knew, just like Neville said. How do you come back from that? How do you readjust to a normal life? So I really like that you addressed that here.

I think my favorite part of this was him thinking of his grandmother. For all of his life he felt inadequate and not good enough, and to see him finally feel like a hero in his grandmother's eyes, it made me really happy. :)

Aww the end with Hannah catching his eye! *squee* I am so happy that happened because I was a little nervous thinking you were going Neville/Luna, which I do not ship, so I almost squee'd out loud when the smiling between Neville and Hannah happened! :D

This was really great! I honestly loved everything about it, great job! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #6, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack Hero

27th March 2015:
Greetings! Today I, the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, have ventured from my hidden home in the northern woods, and out into the world of HPFF to read your lovely story.

You set the tone of this so well right from the start. Despite it being fluff, you still managed to create that atmosphere of combined grief and relief and peace and noise that was all there in that chapter of the book, and you've recreated the feeling in a few short sentences. It's really well done - I almost feel as if I was there, when in reality I was just hiding in the forest with the Blibbering Humdinger, at least until it went off to Hogwarts to make an appearance. (Luna Lovegood wasn't just pretending to see one.) Anyway, back to the story.

What a wonderful description of Neville, and of bravery! Neville is such a great character and definitely his own kind of hero - I loved that line at the end about how even though he may be a hero, he is still shy. Aw! He's just so unassuming. Especially how you have it written here, it's like he's only just realising he's a hero now that he has time to reflect on all that's happened, and think about the people who mean the most to him.

And it ends on such a hopeful note! He's nervous and shy, but by this point, he's gotten through a lot scarier things than trying to talk to a girl. ;) It was just lovely, especially for your first time writing fluff in a while!

It has been a pleasure reading this. And now I must depart, for I'm late for tea with Bigfoot.

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Review #7, by Lostmyheart Hero

9th September 2014:

Hi Adi!

I am finally here with the reviews you won from my challenge a few months ago, and I am so sorry for the delay!
But here I am, smiling, because you have written the most wonderful one-shot I've read in a while! It was so sweet, so hopeful, so inspirational and fluffy! I loved it!

I can imagine Neville sitting there, thinking of all the things that happened and just question himself, and his worth. Ugh, you made it so heart warming and so sweet.
And of course Hannah smiles at him! Who wouldn't after that kind of action with the snake? :P

I really enjoyed reading this! And I will give the rest of the reviews as soon as I can.

- Avi

Author's Response: Hello Avi! Glad to see you here :D

Don't worry about the delay. Real life commitments are hard to keep up with! Most wonderful one-shot you've read in a while? Woah, that's high praise indeed! I'm glad you loved it in all its fluffy glory. I've stopped writing and reading this genre as much as I used to, so I was nervous about getting it right.

Hahaha :p Riiight? Neville's such a stud now :D Thank you so much for this sweet and encouraging review! It really made my day, and I'm glad it made you smile!

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Review #8, by adluvshp Hero

7th September 2014:

Here with Prize Review #2 for Colour and Emotion Challenge!

I apologise for the long time I'm taking to review your stories but I'm so busy with so much going on, I'm getting little time... it will probably take me a while to get all the prize reviews done.

Anyway, this was a wonderful little chapter! I adored the way you wrote Neville. The insecurity, the question, of who Neville is now was very realistically written. His thoughts were justified and I liked how you portrayed them. It was also sweet how this ended on a positive note with Neville realising that he was still a hero, that the war was finally over, and him looking at Hannah.

I think this is going to be an awesome collection of Neville/Hannah moments so I'm looking forward to read more of it. This one indeed was perfect - great characterisation, narrative, flow, and grammar =)


Author's Response: Hi Aditi :)

Don't worry about the timing ad stuff. I know how hard it can be to juggle fanfic with real life sometimes. I believe you started off in a new uni? All the best with that! :)

I'm really glad you liked my take on Neville. I was so nervous about messing up with him because he's such an amazing character! Your words are very reassuring.

Yay! I'm glad that you're looking forward for more. I'm definitely going to fill this with smile worthy moments. Or at least, I'll try. I hope to see you back soon :) Thank you for all your kind words. Your review is so sweet and it really made me smile!

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Review #9, by Slide Hero

19th August 2014:
Here for our noble House's review swap! Yay, Neville. Who doesn't love Neville?

The beginning here's effective; starting with dialogue and then attaching the sounds around the voices, adding details on the speakers - then the environment. The story feels like it starts out of focus and then builds up more and more detail. Which puts us rather neatly, I think, into Neville's headspace. He's shocked. Exultant. Numb. And then reality rushes in.

Needless to say, I like it.

I'm always a sucker for people feeling loss in victory when that means a turning point in their life. The bittersweetness is a human, natural, and conflicting thing, as is the guilt over the apprehension.

It's all too easy to write a hero being bashful or self-effacing, and it's even easier to imagine Neville being such a hero. Neville contemplating his own courage and admitting/accepting it without arrogance is done very believably and effectively here, though. You build up nicely how much people like his Gran, Luna and Harry have faith in him, so who are we, the readers, to argue with them?

The ending could have been a slightly clumsy, 'And here's the girl he'll marry!' shoe-in. The connection to his courage, to the blurry awareness being filled in by details, changes it, and makes it a nice focal point. She's one of the details he can fill in after the years of struggle. The hero still needs to screw his courage to the sticking place to face the girl.

Like the whole story, it's sweet and human, very Neville and perfect for the immediate aftermath of the battle. Heroics and mundane reality falling into one. I highly enjoyed this!

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Review #10, by nott theodore Hero

16th August 2014:
Hi Adi! Sorry it's taken me a few days to get here!

Aw, this was so cute! It's really nice to read some fluff because lately I've been reading some more angsty stories and it's very refreshing. But anyway, yay for fluff and happiness and you writing again!

I absolutely loved the way that you capture the scenes just after the battle has finished! I think you wrote them really well, and I could see the confusion and the sort of chaos that there is for people as the fact that it's finally over is sinking in, and they want to go and find their family and reunite with them. With all of that, there's an intense relief that comes through when people are celebrating and enjoying the fact that they're finally free from the darkness and shadow that they've been living under. I found all of that part of the story very realistic and believable - you wrote it so well!

Neville, as well; you captured his personality perfectly in this moment, and I thought your portrayal of him was great. This is exactly how I picture Neville to be in the moments after the battle is over. During the last year at Hogwarts when he's had a purpose and people have looked up to him, trusting him to lead them in the fight and the resistance against the Carrows. He was a lot more unsure of himself when he was younger and it makes sense to me that even though he's come through the war and been such a great leader for people, he now begins doubting himself again. It works so well to capture his personality and I particularly loved all the questions that he's asking himself.

I really liked the way that even though he's starting to doubt himself a bit, we can still see the way that he's grown over time. The fact that he remembers the way Harry's turned to him and how proud his grandmother was, and Luna too, show that he's got more belief in himself and I think you did a great job of portraying that.

Aw, and the ending of the chapter was really cute as well! I liked the way that it ended with a Hannah and Neville moment but didn't launch into a full romance or anything. It's just a small, shared moment at the end of the battle and maybe it doesn't seem so significant yet, but I think there's a lot of potential for it to grow and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

Sian :)

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Review #11, by apondinabluebox Hero

16th August 2014:
I will be honest: I don't normally read fluff, Neville/Hannah (I ship them, but not to the extent that I actually seek out stories featuring the ship) or post-Hogwarts (which are usually focused on the Golden Trio).

And yet I love this. I ADORE THIS, ADI!

I have this fear of writing established canon characters, because it's so difficult to stay true to JKR's characterisations and yet you've done that beautifully in this chapter. Neville might be a hero, but there's still a part of that little boy in Philosopher's Stone in him, and you showed that really well. You showed how much he's grown with the times, how he's more willing to believe in himself and in the reactions of others around him, how he's willing to accept the confidence of Harry, Augusta et al. The relief and happiness of the other people at Hogwarts was lovely to see, too, even though there were casualties too.

The ending, where he saw Hannah, was adorable. It wasn't overly fluffy, because the final battle of a years-long war is anything but happy despite the good side winning, but it's a really nice moment that lays the foundation for happiness down the line. :)

Author's Response: Isobel ♥ I will be honest with you as well. Fluff really isn't my jam anymore, and while I ship Neville/Hannah, I don't seek out stories featuring them or this era. So we're pretty much the same there. I wrote this for the HC collab, and after that, I had some sweet moments of theirs that I wanted to write about, so a short story collection seemed in order!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) It was such a positive thing for me to write as well!

AHHH! I am so, so scared of writing well establish characters because I'm always worried I'll get them wrong, so you have no idea how happy it makes me to see what you have to say on the matter! How you've put it is exactly how I see Neville and I'm so please that you think I captured that!

Yes, that's what I was going for. Oh gosh, this review makes me really happy! You completely GOT it! thank you so much, Isobel *hugs*

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Review #12, by Gaius Scipio Hero

11th August 2014:
Hi Random Writer,

Now I know I wrote a rather lengthy review for this story but somehow it seems my computer ate it. Still as the old saying goes if at first you don't succeed get mad, scream and hit the computer.

I really liked this story and not just because it was well written (which it was), but also because it featured one of the non big three characters, namely Neville. I really do enjoy reading about some of the secondary characters and feel there just aren't enough stories about them out there.

Author's Response: Hello again :)

It was indeed a nice surprise to log in and find another sweet review from you! And I know how frustrating it is when the computer swallows a particularly long passage of text, so thank you for trying again!

Thank you so much for your words of praise :) I love Neville, and I decided to try writing about him even though I was nervous about getting it right. And as for secondary characters, I simply love both reading and writing about them! :)

Thanks again for stopping by, and for taking the time to review!

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Review #13, by TidalDragon Hero

4th August 2014:
Howdy Adi!

This is ABSOLUTELY Post-War Neville for me! He's grown into himself over the years, but after the battle ends (and at other intervals as the world slides toward normalcy and security again) he's going to be doubting. And he's definitely still shy! I thought you nailed that. But you also really captured how much he's grown. That when he gets those little signs and tiny affirmations he's going to take note and realize again who he really is.

I also like how you set this up to be something more for Neville and Hannah. How they share this little moment at the end of the battle, but it's not terribly significant at the time. I think everybody's mind is going to be elsewhere in the immediate aftermath and I'm glad you didn't go too fluffy and too shippy there!

I will say that I did think it ended a bit abruptly. I wanted...I'm not sure...something more there. Maybe a final thought from Neville. Maybe their eyes actually meeting. I realize that wasn't really terribly constructive, but it's just a thought.

That said, you better watch out! Now that you've put this Neville/Hannah out there, I am holding you personally accountable for more. :p I've got a fever and the only prescription is more Neville/Hannah!

Author's Response: Kevin! Sorry this has taken me an impossibly long time to respond to!

I'm really glad to see that you liked the characterisation. It was one of the things I was definitely worried about because he is one of the main characters, after all. I really like how you summed it all up because that is definitely what I was going for.

I didn't want to throw a full blown romance into the debris of such a crushing war. I definitely think that the relationship needs to be built up, especially because there was no foundation for it prior to the war. I don't think this story will be too fluffy at any point, even though it IS fluff. I've lost touch, so I'm trying to have a second go at it. :p

Haha, about the abruptness, as you already know, I made a blunder and forgot to post the ending when I first put this up :p

I'm looking to update this soon. So keep watching this space if you're still interested!

Thanks for the review :)

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