Reading Reviews for Starfall
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarlightAsteria Prologue

24th August 2014:
Hi!

Wow, this is so well written! I thought writing it from Voldemort's point of view was an interesting choice, and you make it work really well. Your portrayal of Voldemort is very chilling, and very compelling.

And the twist at the end - that is one hell of a cliffhanger! I'm intrigued by Lily's deal with Voldemort - I'm presuming Voldemort knows that forcing Lily to give Harry up is the worst thing he could possibly do to them.

Fantastic prologue :)

I'm definitely going to read on, and keep up the fabulous work :)

Celi xx

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Review #2, by shez Prologue

23rd August 2014:
Here with your requested review!

OH MY GOD. THIS IS BRILLIANT.

To answer all your questions in a nutshell- YES, the prologue pulls me in. And of course I canít picture canon!Lily like this Ėwhich is WHY I want to keep reading. I love stories that are told out of order. And the whole thing was so wonderfully dramatic, like the beginning of a movie. I love how you tell it all from Voldemortís perspective- ruthless, calculating, malevolent. This is so evilly delicious! I have too many favorite line and parts to describe to you. Your writing is solid. I honestly have no major crititque for this. Iím genuinely excited to see where it goes.

On to next chapter!

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Review #3, by LightLeviosa5443 Seal Our Fate

21st August 2014:
WAIT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME WHO DIES? UDKKFIDOKMVKDOIAUFVJDN.

Okay, so this is really interesting. I like the way you've handled this and done this. Is that password thing legit or are you just a really clever ninja? I don't care. I do care. I WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M NOT FINDING OUT WHO DIES. So wait, they captured Narcissa and she actually gave up her password? what? What on earth is going on here, man?

OH MY GOSH. are you taking us back to the begining? You clever girl. Oooh and snape is on the scene. Four for you Snape, you go Snape. Just kidding, I should probably scroll down and see if he's mean before I say that. PHEW. OMG. PHEW. SHE IS A NINJA AND SHE JUST BARELY MADE IT AND YOU ARE OVER HERE GIVING ME HEART ATTACKS!!. So evil. So evil. So so so so so evil.

Oh poor Lily. i can't imagine what it's like to know your friend has betrayed you like that. But i'm so glad that they're (supposedly) getting away safe. Oh wow, what good timing Hagrid has. So sad for Lily that she's losing so many things she loves and wishes she could keep. Like she's losing literally everything and there's nothing she can do about it. And now James is MIA.

Wait, so Narcissa isn't held in captivity? I'm so confused. I should probably read to un-confuse myself. I dislike Lucius, and I will always dislike Death Eaters but this scene is so tender and cute. Poor Narcissa. Though she doesn't seem to be too shaken up about it. He seems a little more shaken than she. UGH I WILL NEVER FEEL BAD FOR NARCISSA AGAIN. SHE IS SO RUDE TO DOBBY. LIKE HE WAS LITERALLY COMFORTING YOUR CHILD YOU POS. I CAN'T EVEN. I AM SO ANGRY AT NARCISSA RIGHT NOW THERE ARE NO WORDS.

NOW. Marlene I feel bad for. Poor thing. HER I want to hug and comfort. WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH. DID SHE JUST KILL A WIFE AND BABY?! WHAT?!?! NUH UH. NO WAY. WHAT?! I DONT FEEL BAD FOR HER ANYMORE CAUSE HELLO, PSYCHO. I MEAN, HIS KID MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN BAD! OMG. I CAN'T. WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING ISOBEL!! I have no more emotions. I don't know how to feel emotions about this. But I do agree with Barty. Marlene is a monster.

Oh wow. Wow. Well then. Wow. I don't even. I have no more words. What have you done. I'm literally in so much shock right now. At a total loss for words. This chapter was insane.

Insanely well written. Insanely emotional. Insanely crazy. Insane.

I N S A N E

I loved it. I can't wait for the next update :)

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 Prologue

21st August 2014:
AH I'VE BEEN DYING TO READ THIS. OKAY. HERE WE GO.

THIS WHOLE CHAPTER HAS ME LIKE AHH. AND I'VE ALREADY READ IT SO I KNOW WHAT'S COMING AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO COMMENT ON OR EXPECT OR JUST LIKE.

Okay, so aside from the fact that this whole thing is like shockshockshockshockshock, I have no idea what to like, expect. Like, his life in exchange for hers. Who's he? Harry? James? OMG IS IT SEVERUS? IT'S SEVERUS ISN'T IT?! I don't even know who or what. I'm jsut so confused. Is he actually going to kill Harry? No, he can't. Is he killing Lily instead? WHAT OTHER SPELLS USE GREEN LIGHT.

This si my freaking out face. That you can't see. I have a freaking out face on, just trust me, okay? Okay. TFIOS RIGHT THERE. sorry couldn't help myself. I don't even have anything else to say. i'm just rambling right now. I literally don't know how to mentally prepare myself for the next chapter. But I feel like I have to.

Okay.

Okay.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter Seal Our Fate

18th August 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you! Sorry that I'm a bit late, I was trying to catch up on some of my own work and lost track of time.

Anyhoo! I was really invested in this world that you created from the first paragraph. It was able to set up the story really nicely and I was able to get that sense of tension really well, I think that you set up Dorcas's character nicely too. I like that she's a confident fighter and isn't used to not handling things on her own but I was worried that she would get caught during that mission. Your Death Eaters came off to me as cold, calculating and very self-absorbed so I really enjoyed reading that! Pureblood arrogance is really great to write/read so I was really in love with this setting and by the time she was able to find out about Peter, I was holding my breath.

Its a relief that she managed to get away in time but their cover was blown and I think that its going to have some major consequences for the Order. Lily's POV was nicely written as well, I have never written her before but you've captured her spirit amazingly and with the threat of the War looming over her heads, the fact that she can have a moment of peace by doing the most mundane things stood out to me the most. I was really upset with James for leaving her and Harry though, especially with what Dumbledore told them and I hope he comes back! Voldemort showed up not too long after that and I'm glad that Lily and the baby got away but man, that was close! I was sort of scared there for a minute!

I have also never written Narcissa either so I think that you wrote her wonderfully. I like this angle of her being a worried mother instead of a snobbish aristocrat. The hints of her marriage to Lucius was a sweet detail, I haven't seen them written that way much before but I wonder how much will come back to bite them? Narcissa knows who her captors were and I know that's going to come back and make things difficult later!

Marlene's hunt for revenge made me both sad and a little worried. You wrote that great though, its hard to capture that much grief in words but the balance between anger and sadness was wonderful, though she might turn into a worrying character later on. How far is she willing to go for revenge? By that last paragraph with Barty, I'm thinking she would do more than her fair share of violence. D':

I really liked this ending too! Voldemort was spot on and his thought processes were so vile that I had to keep reading but it also left me with a big cliffhanger so great job!

The only CC that I can give is that the shifting POV changes were a bit too abrupt but everything else was perfect!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #6, by randomwriter Seal Our Fate

16th August 2014:
Hello again, Isobel ♥ I decided to continue reading and reviewing because the prologue completely drew me in. Forget the assignments :p Anyway, this may be on the shorter side, sorry- It's almost 3:00 A.M here.

I know I mentioned a few times that this is kind of long, but while I was reading the story itself, the length never bothered me. It wasn't dragged out or difficult to read and follow, though I did feel like a LOT happened in one shot. It isn't bad though, because it feels like this whole thing was one episode, one chapter in the war. Everything was connected and it can't be done in parts. I love how there was this sense of things coming to a full circle. It starts with Dorcas infiltrating the meeting and ends with her death, which adds to the feeling of this being one entire episode.

Gah, Dorcas! I love how you wrote her. The opening section was quite racy. It must be frightening and thrilling to have impersonated someone so close to Voldemort's operations, and the part where she almost got caught was nearly exhilarating. On a side note, I suppose this is why I'm a Gryffindor :p While her job is vastly risky, I was thinking of the adrenaline rush while reading that part. Anyway, as I was saying, that part was really well written. I love the small hints and ideas that you dropped. Oh, and this made me hate Peter all over again.

I liked the bit with Lily and James as well. I appreciate how you tried to incorporate the domestic set up into their lives, despite the danger. It makes it more believable and helps us understand Lily better. I adore James! The level of loyalty and trust that he has in his friends in unbelievable, as we know, and you portrayed that very well. I think, characterisation wise, you nailed it once again. Once again, the image of Voldemort coming up the path gave me the chills. Maybe you could have elaborated(yes, make it longer :p) on that a bit. Added to how tense it all was. The part about Lily's memories and photographs and all made me teary. I'm a very nostalgic person, so I could relate to that part very well. While I was processing all this, my mind was wildly screaming, "WHERE THE HELL IS JAMES?! IS HE ALRIGHT?" I'd hate for something to happen to him now. I'm looking forward to reading about him.

The next section about Narcissa was particularly insightful. It was over here that your characterisation absolutely blew me away. Why? Because I perceive her as a character who's made of layers and you captured that so well. There were other things as well that caught my attention. I love how she enters, expecting a storm in her wake because she has returned and she believes that she deserves a greeting worthy of royalty. Also, the part about Dobby not being allowed to touch Draco was justified in the most amazing way. Her thought process and the what ifs that she raised were so symbolic of her upbringing and reflected her background so well. I LOVE how you wrote her and there are so many more things I want to add here, but I'm afraid I won't have space.

The next part about Marlene was amazing. I loved your take on her. It's unique and I've honestly never seen this version of her where she's reckless, in a sense, and very destructive. She's almost psychotic- a little like Bellatrix, but I like how she's absolutely mad and fighting for the good side. You painted a very nice picture of her family and I found myself actually feeling upset about their death. It's nice to see how you've given us her backstory. It lets us appreciate her more. As for how she just threw Milly under the bus to save Emmaline, I don't really know what to say. Obviously we see her big flaw, but it's a realistic one. These lines were some of my favourites:
"No-one's innocent. We're all guilty of something, just to various degrees."
It's reflective of humanity as a whole, and I thought it was rather profound.

Barty was also an interesting character to read about. I'm curious to know why he helped out the Order, because in the fourth book, he's so loyal to Voldemort, it's difficult to imagine a time when he might have betrayed him. Could it be that he holds a torch for her? I don't know, but this chapter is raising a whole lot of questions and adding to the pile that were raised in the previous one.

The final segment which focused on Voldemort and Snape and Dorcas once again set quite an ominous tone to the whole thing. There's something increasingly sinister about the way you're setting this up. It's perfect. Anyway, the last part tied this chapter together. I was sad to see Dorcas go because I really liked her and how you've written her. I wonder how she got captured though? I thought she'd be under heavy protection, given the happenings of the previous night. Also, I'm guessing this is set after the Potter's fled and there's still no mention of what happened to them (especially James) and that is worrying.

I'm glad you wrote this in present tense. It suits the story and helps set the tone. Your writing is fabulously descriptive and beautiful and it makes this a very enjoyable read. I love the flow, the characterisation and the plot, if you can't tell and I hope you update soon (30th?). I'll be checking, and once again, thanks for swapping. I've had an absolute blast reading these two chapters. Not a fan of Snape/Lily and usually stay away from them, but I'm giving it a shot in this case (it doesn't seem to be a main pairing. Just mentions. Phew :p)

With very few characters to go, I'll wind up by saying that you've exceeded my expectations with this one and I eagerly await your update. Good job, Isobel :)

P.S- I'm sure I've forgotten something. I will PM you if I remember what I want to add.

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Review #7, by randomwriter Prologue

16th August 2014:
Isobel ♥ I'm sorry for taking so long to get here, after you left me those wonderful reviews. As your next chapter is a bit long, forgive me if I can't get to it immediately. I'm kind of swamped with work.

Anyway, onto your story. It has been a long, long while since anything sent chills up my spine like this one. It certainly put me on an edge. You haven't even been particularly ...uhh, pacey, and you still managed to put me in a tense frame of mind. Anyway, this was intense and so well written. I loved it.

It served the function of prologue pretty well. It has me hooked now and the questions are forming in my mind at an alarming rate. I'm quite glad that you have plans to update this regularly and I will be poking you constantly because NEED.

You've written Voldemort and his thoughts really well. The detachment, the ready willingness to dispose off his own, the elitist mentality... you've got it all down perfectly. I love how you've managed to truly being out how much he loves control and fear, and how disposable everything is to him, with regards to his ultimate mission. Even the words you've chosen are perfect to describe him. For example, when you talk about how Lily came in, looking defeated. The word 'defeated' is so powerful here because he says it with relish. He enjoys the hold he has over her, and the kind of power he wields is his greatest pride. His cold and cruel demeanor has been written well. I think that the way you've written him, combined with where this plot is headed, is what gave me the chills. Basically, perfect characterisation. One of the best written Voldemorts I've come across.

I love the style of writing you've employed. It fits the piece really well and lends to the emotion of it. It also flows well. This was an easy read, but by no means was it light.

As for where this is going, I'm both curious and fearful. I love the darkness of this, and I love how you're hinting towards chaos, because I really like reading dark and unique stories. But at the same time, I'm having trouble processing that Lily... I mean, Lily Potter would actually give Harry up, even if she does feel defeated. This isn't due to your characterisation or writing. It's just because we've had it drilled into our heads that Lily's motherly love saved Harry, and coming from there, this twist is more than a little hard to digest. I hope she has a good reason to do this. I get that she wants to stop the war, if that's how it came to this, but giving Harry over is practically like handing over the reigns to Voldemort and admitting defeat, isn't it? In any case, I'm excited to see where you're going to take this from here. I'd love to see some canon events tied in. I'm also wondering if the prophecy is going to play a heavy part in this. It's all very interesting.

As you can probably tell, I have tons of questions swimming about in my mind. And I know I will have to wait for answers, and I will, but I am pretty excited about this, to be honest and I'm probably going to be pretty rambly and incoherent in my reviews because... QUESTIONS. DOUBTS. SO MANY THINGS ARE IN MY HEAD AND I'M SORRY I MUST SCREAM SO CAPS.

Okay, that was (un)warranted. :p

Also, I'll be honest and tell you that I never touch AUs, but I saw your summary and I just had to read this. I admire you for writing something based on pretty well established characters. As you told me in your review earlier today, I'm also pretty nervous about writing main characters, so I'm glad you took this up and decided to give it a go. So far so good :) I don't believe I will feel bad about picking this up, even though it's not something I'd usually read.

Great job with this. I can't wait to read further. I'm definitely following this story! You're really talented, Isobel and I'm glad we did this swap ♥ (There's so much I wanted to say, but can't remember. I'll PM you if I do!)

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Review #8, by DoctorUnderwood Seal Our Fate

16th August 2014:
Wow! What a great chapter! I love all the intrigue. This is haping up to be a fantastic story!

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Review #9, by Aphoride Seal Our Fate

16th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! :) Firstly, I'm sorry if this is a little short - I'm pretty busy atm, with sorting stuff out for going abroad soon - but I just had to drop by and see this, because I really, really do love this story! :)

I love Dorcas, how she's such a fully-developed character in this, despite not really being around for much of it :( The idea of the Death Eaters moving around, having temporary houses (at least, most of the known ones) is so good, and really highlights the idea that this is on both sides, a sort of guerilla war, where neither side has power and both sides are sort of undercover, in a way. You really build this whole feeling throughout it that anyone could be involved - it's so plausible that random people are involved, because of the way the war is, you know?

Poor Milly, though - so alone and so unfortunate :(

I loved the scene with Lily and James, too. How James was so loyal to his friends, and it became a weakness for him - how he just runs off into the night to go and find Peter and prove that he's not a traitor, because to him it is unthinkable. It's actually just desperately sad, I think, because he's a nice, good bloke... gah, I love James! :P And Lily... I love the mentions of the things she'll leave behind in the house - the photos and things - and how she and Harry escape with Hagrid, with Voldemort so close behind... (the only criticism, if I had one, would be that the end of this, with him coming up the path to the house, could be a bit more tense? Like, Lily could be more scared?)

I loved how you wrote Barty, as well. Of course, I ship him with Regulus, haha, but I loved his interactions with Marlene, and how crazy he is, but so clever as well. And Marlene! I loved - honestly, loved to bits - how she was kinda going crazy and psychopathic because of the loss of her family and yet she's on the good side, you know? Like, she's supposed to be a good guy, and she's out there killing random, innocent people because of revenge and it suits her needs. She's such a great character and I really hope we see more of her in the future! :)

Snape is so wonderfully creepy, as well, with all the comments about 'his Lily' and things... it's so possessive and so desperate.

All the little details and hints and clue-type things in here are just amazing, too. Like, why Barty is leaking secrets to the Order, how he's not being found out, is Snape going to work out that Milly wasn't an Order member and Barty's lying, what will happen to Pettigrew now his information failed and he's been rumbled as a spy, what will happen to Lily. gah, there's so many questions and so few answers! :P I'm so so curious...

So yes, your writing is fabulous, the length of this, even if it was long, was virtually unnoticeable, and I'm first review! (I hope, I think, maybe?) Yay! Hehe...

I love this story. So much. Please update soon! :)

Aph xx

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Review #10, by Fonzzx Seal Our Fate

16th August 2014:
This is one of my new favourite stories. What happened to James? Did he die? Will we find out? What happens to Lily to make her sacrifice Harry? I can't wait to read more!

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Review #11, by alicia and anne Prologue

12th August 2014:
I get sad every time that you talk about this story and your plans for it. Even though they are going to be so awesome that I can't wait for it. I still can't believe that Lily has done this, I can't believe that she is willingly going to give Harry to Voldemort.

I just really really hope that she has a bigger plan, that Harry is really save. But I'm scared and to be honest, I'm kind of hating Lily at the moment. She may have had her reasons, she may be terrified.

The minute that Harry started calling for his mum broke my heart.

Why must you do this to me?

:P

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Review #12, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Prologue

12th August 2014:
Twice I've read this now and it still reduces me to a tear... or two... or three. My love for the Potter boys are basically my reason for existing and now... Harry. Poor, baby Harry.

I just... GAH, I need to know what possessed her to do this. You seriously have no idea just how happy I am to be betaing this. :P (...Not that I planned it.)

I'm just so sad right now. But I'm also so happy it's up and I can't wait to know more!

Sam.

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Review #13, by 800 words of heaven Prologue

12th August 2014:
REVIEW SWAP!

Such an intense prologue! I'm always a bit reluctant to use prologues mainly because I suck at writing them and they always end up a bit boring. Having boring chapter ones does not annoy me as much :P

But this is such a fantastic start. Who is dead? Who is alive? Does Voldemort want to raise Harry in secret (can you tell I'm a bit of a Doctor Who fan, because I can totally see a River Song situation arising here)? Has Lily gone stark raving mad giving up her son? Who knows?

Such a wonderful beginning! Voldemort was just the right sort of calculating crazy that I love to hate, and it's so nice to see him clued into what his Death Eaters are up to for a change! Because sometimes it feels as if he has little idea what on earth is going on with his crew. I hope they continue to cause mischief in the ranks though!

I shall be back for chapter two when you post it :)

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Review #14, by Amy Prologue

11th August 2014:
please please please please post more

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Review #15, by UnluckyStar57 Prologue

11th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! :D

Ooh, there's my name in the Author's Note! I'm so glad that I could help you out with this. :)

Okay, so this. Is. AMAZING. It's an AU, but I think it's definitely going along the lines of "what might have happened if the Boy-Who-Lived had to die." Instead of being overwhelmed by the "good side," Voldemort and the Death Eaters are getting stronger and have taken the fate of the Wizarding World into their own hands. It's very frightening to think about, really.

Lily was OOC, but that's because it's an AU! I think that it makes sense for her to change a little bit, especially if it's been a year since the Happening in Godric's Hollow. What I'm wondering right now is: What made her change so much? She was so willing to protect her child, to give her life in exchange for his, and now it's the completely opposite case. Perhaps she fell in love with living and decided that it was better just to submit to the Dark Side? And you did mention that this was a Snily... To what extent is it a Snily? Is Lily perhaps... MARRIED TO SNAPE?!?! Is James Potter... DEAD? Oh my gosh, I just thought of these things and now I'm freaking out. I MUST know what happens next! (I'm sure that the answer to all of my questions is "no," but now that I've thought of these things, I can't stop.) So PLEASE update as soon as the queue reopens!

The thing I liked about Lily was that, even though she's sacrificing her son to save her own life, she's defiant about it. That's definitely an attribute of canon!Lily's personality--she is being forced to obey a more sinister power, but she isn't happy about it. And she sacrificed Harry, but she so obviously didn't want to. It was a choice that she was forced to make, and she chose the more selfish option. How many humans can say that they would do the same exact thing? (Probably a lot of us. We have a tendency to be selfish.)

Despite--or maybe because of--its brevity, this prologue was captivating and informative. It gave just enough information to draw me in, and then LEFT ME HANGING. The Dark Lord's speech is perfect--very in canon and VERY Voldemortal. And I liked that he was looking into the minds of potential future traitors--I'm sure that there are probably more traitors than just those three, though.

BUT HE CAN'T KILL HARRY OH MY GOSH. What's going to happen now?! Is Harry REALLY dead? Please say he isn't! Who will save the Wizarding World?! Is it up to Neville now?! Oh no!!! I need to know all of these things!

Sorry, sorry. I'm being incoherent again. (This is usual.) In short, I really love the start of this in all of its dark and scary glory, and I can't wait for you to update!

Also, it was basically word-perfect. Grammar, spelling, syntax, everything. I am SO interested in the characters and what they've been doing since 31 October 1981.

Thanks for requesting a review! Feel free to request again because I'm dying to know what's going to happen! :D

~Mallory

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Review #16, by Gabriella Hunter Prologue

9th August 2014:
Hello!

Its Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and I'm so sorry that its taken me such a long time to get back to you. I was sick yesterday and I've been busy on top of that and you know, that's just not cool! Real life is such a bummer. *Sigh*

On to this! Now, you weren't joking around when you said that this was your darkest story yet and I am totally into angst so this was right up my alley you know. But holy crap! I did NOT expect this to go the way it did at ALL, I mean...gosh, I'm still trying to pick my jaw up from that one you know. Hahaha. So, I like that you opened with Voldemort, he's not a character that I've ever dared to touch because he's so complex. I think that you got his thoughts and arrogance down though and you've hinted at several plot points later on with the various Death Eaters that he was certain would pose a problem later on. I can't wait to see how that goes!

Now, as for Lily. I was really surprised that you took this route for her character because she's usually depicted as being stubborn and very strong willed so to see her as weakened and broken is quite a shock. I know that you said that people thought that she was too far from canon and while I can agree to some extent, I do believe that you have the skills to give more depth to her character. I saw that this was an AU so I can understand why you made necessary changes to canon and while I'm not for what happens to baby Harry at all (Cause babies are cute) I think that you only did it to set up your plot further and your characters. I'm more interested in seeing how this affects Lily and her remaining friends down the line so I'll be eagerly awaiting more. I think you're being very bold as well and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that so you shouldn't feel as if you're doing something wrong. Keep on pumping out those ideas! I've gotten a few stories that were questioned here and there but you know, its all up to you on how you take it.

I hope to see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #17, by crestwood Prologue

8th August 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here with your requested review!

There's only one way I can think of to describe the mood of this - chilling. Naturally, anything from the point of view of Voldemort is bound to be a bit creepy. It's so fitting that Voldemort is such a talented Legilimens that all he needs is eye contact to be able to know who is beneath a mask. It's scary to think that, excluding Snape, he knows what goes through all of his Death Eater's minds. It only makes him that much more terrifying.

The fact that Lily brings Harry to Voldemort herself is, well, shocking. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. She has clearly gone through A LOT to get her to this point. If the rest of the story is going to be about how Lily was reduced to this, then I have to read it, if only to find out! I have so many questions and the answers will definitely make for a gripping story.

This is the darkest thing I've ever read. You've captured canon Voldemort all too perfectly. The point of a prologue is to draw the readers attention and you've definitely done that. I can't believe you packed all of this into a chapter that isn't even a thousand words long. Excellent writing and excellent characterization. The jury is out on how well you develop Lily throughout the story, but if this is any indication, you'll do just fine. I've added this to my reading list, I have to know what happens next. Thank you for your request!

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Review #18, by Aphoride Prologue

5th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! :) So I saw you posted this yesterday and really wanted to read it (and am now wishing I had had more time yesterday... fourth to review and sixth to favourite isn't as good as first or second ;D) but didn't have time, so here I am now! :)

The premise of this is so, so good. I'm not usually a fan of 'what if' stories, but this drew me in anyway - because it sounds dark and gritty and action/adventure-y which is all the kind of stuff I like :P Plus, it's your NaNo novel - or one of them - which you talked about and it sounded so good then, so I'm ignoring my own preferences here, haha.

But yes, this is a brilliant start. As a prologue it works so, so well - enough that I have no idea what happened to get Lily to that point (why? He's her son! Whaaa?!) but also that I want to find out what happened... I'm assuming something with Snape happened... hm... the mystery you have in this and you inject through this is so good - I'm so intrigued!

The way you write Voldemort is terrifyingly good, too. Terrifying because it's Voldemort, you know, but it's so perfectly in canon and so in character for him. I loved the way he wasn't bothered, really, by the idea that some of his followers might have betrayed him because he can deal with them later. It's this sense of egomania with him which is just so on point. Like, they're all ants to him. They don't matter. I'm actually kinda hoping there's more from his pov in future, because it's so fascinating and so good. Is that weird? I dunno... :P

The sense in this chapter - of defeat and loss and sort of despair on the side of Lily and the Order, and then of winning and triumph and glee from Voldemort - was amazing. I always find it so difficult to weave two different feelings like that together without making it weird - how did you do it? :P It really just builds up the picture and the tension and allows your beautiful writing and description to almost flow past. It's gorgeous writing, really, speaking of - your word choice is stunning and the pace is so quick and fluid. Little things like describing the Atrium as 'desecrated' and Lily's eyes as 'doe-like' are just so evocative.

So yes, I loved this, and I will be following this story relentlessly and badgering you on twitter if you don't update on time (not really, don't worry! ;D). Favouriting! :)

Aph xx

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Review #19, by maryhead Prologue

5th August 2014:
Wow.

This story is SO INCREDIBLY INTERESTING.

I went to Gabriella Hunter's review thread this morning and you know, she always asks us to check each other stories, so I looked around, found your story and...

Wow.

The style is impeccable. Wonderful. The perfect proportion of description, POV's thoughts and feels. And oh, the feels!
I read in the thread that other readers thought Lily was OOC here. I don't agree with them. She is and always be a fighter for the light and a follower of the greater good after all, and this prologue takes place a year after the tragedy in Godric's Hollow should have happened. I may only guess all the pain and sufferings she has been through, and the desperation in her heart. Moreover, I know you'll explain everything in the following chapters, which I'm looking forward to reading soon!

Great job, my friend!

The never-ending fan of darkish stories and drama,

Maryhead!

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Review #20, by Lululuna Prologue

4th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! ♥

Ooh, I'm so excited about this! The whole prologue was just deliciously, darkly written and chilling. I'm definitely intrigued to find out what could lead Lily to sacrifice her own child like this. It ties in a really interesting way with the summary, and I'm wondering if the loss of Harry is like the loss of innocence and love for Lily. I can't imagine her being selfish enough to sacrifice her son without a great deal of pain and if she believed it was the only thing that could be done to keep Voldy from continuing to destroy.

At first I hoped that there might be some way that Harry could still survive this: perhaps, because he is an innocent soul dying to save others, he could be spared like he was in DH? That would fit with the Jesus/saviour background of Harry's death in DH, but here Harry isn't willingly giving consent to sacrifice himself for others, so I'm not so sure.

Another line I found really interesting was about "the man she loves." I'm not sure if that refers to Snape or James here, since it wasn't actually specified. I'm sort of thinking Snape might have convinced her since James could either be dead (since I can't imagine him agreeing with Lily to give up Harry and because he wouldn't come with her) or she could be in love with Snape. He was pretty secretive in this chapter so I'm not sure.

Wow, you really packed so much into a short prologue! This was amazing, and I'm excited for the next chapter! :D

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Review #21, by DoctorUnderwood Prologue

3rd August 2014:
I must say, I am very intrigued by this. Count me in to see more.

This was incredibly well written.

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