Reading Reviews for The Most Beautiful Flower
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 The Most Beautiful Flower

11th June 2015:
Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015

Severus Snape is certainly one of the most controversial and disliked characters in all of the Potterverse. He's even defended in some circles for his abhorrent actions against innocent schoolchildren, and darn, does that man hold a grudge! But here, you've created a more sympathetic view of the man we all love to hate. You've shown that, although he was wrong to hate Lily's son, he also grieved for Lily's death. And that makes me feel pity for him, although I can never truly like him.

Your meditations on death and the stereotypical image of it that is portrayed at funerals was spot-on. Like wow, that was eloquent! Snape really got in his feels as he looked on Lily lying in the coffin, and the ceremony of it all sort of looked cheap in comparison to those emotions he was experiencing. Granted, he ignored James in favor of the woman he loved, but that is completely in character for him and I would expect nothing less.

Ah, the nostalgia of childhood days by the river in Spinner's End. The symbolism of the snowlily was really delicate and beautiful, and it was comforting to read that, even though he's a lonely, bitter man, Snape still has his moments of tenderness. He still feels emotions, even if those emotions caused him to act in ways that weren't always nice. He's quite a complex character, and I really wish I had more time and brainpower to examine him through this new lens that you've created, but suffice it to say that you've made me think about him a little more that I would normally, and I like that a lot. So thanks!!

"the only remnant of the industry that had given Spinner's End its name"--I don't know why, but I really love that quote. There's something so stark about it, so empty. It's a washed-up old town, and Snape is kind of washed-up as well. The only things that remain here for him are his memories, and those are tainted with sadness.

Very beautiful and sad story! Lovely work.

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse The Most Beautiful Flower

4th June 2015:
Hi there! Here for our review swap!

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Snape. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for him, so there were bits of this story that were lost on me (through no fault of your own--I'm just heartless). I did, however, really appreciate Snape's musings about God/heaven and how he'd been through so much heartache that he couldn't believe in God, but that he would gladly take hell if Lily got heaven. That was sweet. That was one part when I did find myself wanting to say, "Aw!" So it looks like I do have a heart after all. ;)

I also liked some of the images you included, like how Lily looked like she was just sleeping except for the slight tinge of blue on her lips. That was cool. It brought the story to life.

And the ending. I like that you bring things full circle, from Lily's death to his own. It made things feel complete, but without the tied-in-a-perfect-bow feeling. You know what I mean? I hope so. I kind of wanted a bit more of Snape's life right before the end, though. Not too much, but just enough that I could feel more connected to him so that the reminder of his death would've had more impact. But again, I don't prefer Snape in the first place. So maybe I'm asking you to do the impossible!

Either way, I liked this. :) Well done!

Gina

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Review #3, by AdinaPuff The Most Beautiful Flower

1st June 2015:
Review swap!

I've always thought about how Severus reacted to Lily's death. Obviously JK gives us a lot of information about it, but I still liked to imagine different situations that reminded him of Lily, different things that made him relive his memories of her. And this was beautiful and perfect.

I really like the thoughts of religion. The aspect that if Lily believed, than so did he. The idea that she was in Heaven and God was watching over them.

Overall, this was such a sad little one shot. I love the thoughts that pass Severus's mind, the ignoring of James when he was in the coffin. How he compared Lily with the flower was beautiful--I don't know much about flowers, so I've never really connected it like that, but I suppose that's why JK gave her the name Lily. She's honest and pure and beautiful, embracing everything and not hiding behind that shield of thorns.

I loved this one shot! Very well written :)

- Leigh xxx

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Review #4, by Gabriella Hunter The Most Beautiful Flower

29th May 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap, I don't think either of us had the time to really get these done. Sorry that it took a minute, I would have been here sooner if it hadn't been for lame real life issues...

Anyway, Snape! I LOVE reading stories about him, I think he's such a complex character and it's always great to get new takes on him. This was a really sad one-shot though, I don't think many people would have been able to write about such a sad moment in his life like this. I certainly wouldn't have been able to but you've written this so beautifully.

There's a touch of bitterness in his narrative too that I like as well. Snape loved Lily and his reflections of her are so tender that when he thinks about what the world will remember her by, I can't help but agree. No one will really KNOW Lily or James for the people they had been and it made me think that the small things in a person's life mean the most. There was so much heart to his memories of her that it nearly broke mine, I thought you wrote this so wonderfully.

We don't really see this side to Snape but I enjoyed delving into his mind. The love that he had for Lily may have been one-sided but being cared and understood by someone reached a part of him that no one would be able to grasp. That would be their secret, I suppose. The ending of this of course had me tearing up though and it was a great way to close off this one-shot, I'm really impressed. :)

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #5, by Castiel The Most Beautiful Flower

26th May 2015:
Hello, this is Castiel here for the swap with Lotte/LadyL8.

I read this story a few days ago but haven't had time to sit down and review.

The idea that people would remember Lily as an idea or a name, and not a person, was a really striking one. That analysis did in fact turn out to be true. It was quite an original point to make, very accurate and sad. It also fits really well with Snape's resentful and brooding nature--it's exactly the sort of idea he would have, and resentment he would harbor.

As for the idea of Lily going to heaven and Snape going to hell, that also struck me as really on point. That line of thinking did a lot to enrich Snape's perspective about playing a double agent for Voldemort, and the amount of self-sacrifice he undertook.

All in all, a very moving and believable story. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed it!

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Review #6, by xinkheartedx The Most Beautiful Flower

26th May 2015:
Hi there!

It's MyChemicalFanFiction (from the forums) here, I just dropped by from the forums to check out your authors page and I saw this.

I really enjoyed reading this, I love reading stories from Severus' POV and this was so well written!

You are AMAZING at describing things, I could picture everything you mentioned and imagined the whole scene playing out. In particular, 'The block of ice growing around his heart' gave me the chills.

I also thought that Severus going to the special place he had with Lily was really sweet and touching.

All in all, this was a really awesome little one-shot.

- Ali

Author's Response: Thanks Ali, I'm really glad you liked it!

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Review #7, by kayt The Most Beautiful Flower

23rd May 2015:
Very nice one shot. I have a soft spot for 'Snape stories' and I really liked that you didn't try to change his character to make him someone he wasn't, but that his thoughts nevertheless revealed much about him and brought the man to life.

Author's Response: Thank you, I've very glad that you enjoyed this. Thanks for stopping by!

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Review #8, by May The Most Beautiful Flower

23rd May 2015:
This story was beautiful it made me cry

Author's Response: Thanks, it was pretty interesting to write. I love delving into Severus' character. Thanks for the review!

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Review #9, by Oregonian The Most Beautiful Flower

22nd May 2015:
Hi there.

It’s almost always a pleasure to read a story about Severus Snape, and this is a very well-written story, revealing a little Missing Moment that could well have occurred in canon.

It’s a story with no dialogue, no very vigorous action, mainly a stream of consciousness touching upon a half dozen different but related topics as Snape leaves Lily’s funeral and walks along the river near his childhood home. But you make it work well, one thought flowing seamlessly into the next, with a background of scene description in the outdoor settings.

I appreciate your accomplished way with scene description, one detail being further adorned with subsidiary details, and then finished off with a sprinkle of tiny details dangling like little ornaments, all revealing your noteworthy ability to notice and record the myriad observable features that make up a common object such as a willow tree. Some authors take this type of description to an extreme, so that it becomes a tour de force, and the story line is almost lost in the thick verbiage of the descriptive details, but you do not go to this extreme, and I very much appreciate it. You are like a woman who knows it makes a better show not to wear all her jewelry at the same time.

I enjoyed reading about the not-common topics of Lily’s funeral (preservation charm: a good idea to keep the mortal remains fresh for two weeks) and the question of whether Snape or other members of the magical community believed in God or Heaven or Hell.

A tiny suggestion. In your final paragraph of three sentences, you use the conditional verb form (he would only return; he too would be gone) in the first two sentences, but the ordinary past tense for the final sentence (Severus Snape closed his own eyes..) So the first two sentence obviously refer to the future. But the final sentence almost sounds as if it refers to the time contemporaneous with the body of the story, so I would suggest putting that verb in the conditional form also (Severus Snape would close his own eyes for the final time).

Your writing is very imaginative, seeing possibilities in events that other might simply overlook, giving them dignity and gravitas, inviting us to look more closely at things we thought we already knew.

Thank you so much for bringing this one-shot to my attention. If we can call anything about Snape “sweet”, it was a sweet read.

Vicki

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Review #10, by The Summer Snake The Most Beautiful Flower

5th May 2015:
Greetings from The Summer Snake! I have recently slithered out of hibernation and discovered this amazing place with such amazing stories, so I want to read and review as many as I can before I go back into hibernation!

Aw, what a sad little story. Here, have some Summer Cheer for you. *showers confetti and flowers*

This was really very sweet and nicely written. I liked your characterisation of Severus and the way you showed his feelings for Lily. The way he mourned for her and the memories he had of her was so sad. My poor snake heart also broke a little.

The ending was quite sweet though. The symbolisation of the flower was nicely done and the way you wove that in with Severus' own death. The descriptions were very good and over all narrative quite interesting.

All in all, a lovely tale, nicely written. Definitely made for a good read!

Now, I'm off to explore more of this wonderful sun! See ya!

With love,
The Summer Snake

Author's Response: Gah, who are you oh summer snake, and why must you be anonymous so I can't check out your profile???

Ah well...I'm very glad you liked it. :)


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Review #11, by Infinityx The Most Beautiful Flower

25th April 2015:
Hello, here for our swap!

That was heart-wrenching and beautiful. There was such raw emotion in this and I love how you've brought it out through your descriptions. I really like the way you've characterized Snape in this, and his emotions immediately after Lily's death. He's a difficult, complex character to write and you've done a really good job here.

I like how there's that critical air of his even when he's grieving. He scorns the funeral and himself for his mistakes, he realizes that past grudges didn't really matter, and the impact when he realized that Lily's gone for good was just so powerful.

You've integrated those little parts of his life in the coming years brilliantly. The fic flowed really well and you've managed to convey a whole myriad of strong emotions here. The only suggestion I have is to maybe linger on each of the sections and describe the feelings a bit more. Instead of telling readers that he felt in these particular ways, make them feel it as well.

Overall, this was a really beautiful one-shot and i'm so glad i read it. :)

Author's Response: Thank you, and thank you again for the tips! :D

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Review #12, by HeyMrsPotter The Most Beautiful Flower

8th April 2015:
Hello, I'm here (a bit late!) for our swap. I chose this story because it had the fewest reviews, plus I'm a sucker for angst!

I think you have a really unique concept for a story here. I've read a lot of stories centered around Snape's grief after Lily's death, but never specifically their funeral. I think you did his character justice, especially the parts about his childhood, it made for a really beautiful tragic theme throughout. A very poignant one-shot! I particularly liked the paragraph with the comparison between roses and lilies.

Thanks for the swap.

Dee :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I really love exploring the relationship between these two characters, there's so much tragic history with them. Snape is one of my favorite characters, so it's always fun writing for him. There are just far too many layers, and I honestly don't understand people who don't see how fascinating that is!

I'm really happy that it seems I was able to get this right and convey what I was going for. Thanks so much for taking the time to read. :)


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Review #13, by TidalDragon The Most Beautiful Flower

5th August 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by to fill your review request!

To begin with, I thought you started strong. The concept of James and Lily's funeral is not one I've seen explored in a fic before (especially as a starting point) so it was interesting to see you go there. Even more interesting was that the piece wound of being from Snape's perspective.

I thought you captured Snape well, from his thoughts to his feelings to his observations. Fittingly, he is heavily focused on Lily, but as in canon, it is impossible for him to ignore his own issues and hatreds in the process.

I see from your request that you're interested in more readers. Speaking from experience, I'll say that you're not terribly likely to get an enormous amount of readers on a one-shot. This is largely down to the fact that many people pick out one-shots only from the 'recently added' so if yours gets missed then, most likely your later readers are going to come from those who visit your Author's Page (meaning people from the forums or people who have read and enjoyed other things you've written and come looking for more).

That said, if you are looking for areas to improve generally, I'd look at two things. First (and this is minor, but stands out to readers nevertheless), be careful with plural possessives. I first noticed it in "Potter's" at the top. You're referring to "the Potters" collectively as a family, so the appropriate usage is "Potters' ". Second, inject strong, evocative language. This is obviously an emotional piece. You want the words you choose to convey those emotions to be powerful and detailed. Combine them with descriptions of setting, appearance, demeanor, etc. for maximum effect.

Hope this review was helpful! Feel free to PM with any questions!

Author's Response: Thank you! I totally forgot about the Potter's/Potters' rule, so thanks so much for reminding me. Tips are always welcome. :)

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