Reading Reviews for Death on the First
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Chapter Two

22nd November 2014:
Review swap! So excited to read another chapter of this :D

Was definitely not expecting Padma to be murdered as well in this chapter! :O But there's so much new information... some of which I'm sure is red herrings because it doesn't all add up as well as I want it to, haha.

So... Dean, Daphne, and Pansy are the only ones who haven't been mentioned yet as interacting with the narrator. I'm inclined to think Pansy, as she seems more likely to walk around having a chat with Theo, and the bit about not wanting to use 'a woman's weapon' makes me think it probably is a woman. And since she was close to Draco, she might have done stuff with Disillusionment Charms during 6th year to help Draco into the Room of Requirement or something. But... Pansy is probably a Pureblood, and I got the impression that the murderer was not pureblood because they knew a bit about Muggle technology in the previous chapter. Hmmm.

But was Padma poisoned anyway, even after the murderer deciding against poison? What happened to her?! What is the motive of the murderer to kill both of the Patil twins? Sooo much mystery. And I just love how meticulously this entire story is planned out - there is information revealed in each chapter so far, enough to potentially make guesses, but not enough to know anything for sure yet.

The murderer is such an astute person, noting how Theo reacts and making note of it, and keeping so calm and collected while characters like Seamus break down and Theo gets angry he's being kept so long. That is really working well in the murderer's favour. But I wonder if the murderer is almost too calm and that will give them away in the end?

I can't wait to find out! Awesome chapter & thanks for the swap! :D

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Review #2, by crestwood Chapter Two

20th November 2014:
Hi Sian! I've been meaning to get back to reviewing this for so long now.

I can't say I've read many mysteries here on this site, but I'm quite sure they don't usually come this well written.. This is like an Agatha Christie novel in the sense that I truly have no clue what is going on here. The confusion is actually awesome though, I just love a mystery that can actually leave me guessing.

You write this tense atmosphere so perfectly and your narrator is delightfully stoic. I just really enjoy reading from the point of view of someone with such a calm disposition. It's really cool how they continuously manipulate the emotions of everyone else and anticipate what they're going to do and say. They had this all planned out so thoroughly, which really means that you had this all planned out thoroughly.

Their mental notes of how to act when accused are a very good idea on their part. I won't even attempt to narrow it down by way of counting out people mentioned because I'm pretty sure they've referred to themselves already. If I was really careful, I may be able to find places where they referred to actually interacting with people and count off those, but there's also the option of sitting back and enjoying the ride you're set to take me on.

Every time I wonder something about this story, it's like the speaker answers it directly after the thought occurs to me. I was just starting to wonder where they got the wand to cast a Disillusionment Charm and then, they thought of keeping a spare so that they still have the murder weapon. Because of course Auror's can preform Priori Incantatem on the wands and it'd be unwise to give them the one that did it. Genius!

Seamus being drunk definitely looks suspicious, but I know he isn't the real culprit because I'm looking for someone totally calm and collected. He must be quite drunk to be threatening to kill someone during a murder investigation haha!

Wow, Padma bit her cheek and then dropped dead...So something got into the cut and killed her, but I have no idea what. I don't know what I was expecting, but a death during the second chapter was not it. This is just excellent. Truly a cleverly pieced together plot and an amazing, unique idea. I love it. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #3, by marauderfan Chapter One

19th November 2014:
This is the most unique beginning to a mystery story I've ever seen. From the fourth paragraph (actually, before I even started reading the story, if I count the summary) I know who did it. It was the narrator. But who IS the narrator?! Ah, it's brilliant!

The narrator is just so casual about the whole thing, no guilt at all, just commenting about it like one would about the weather, which is what makes it so strange to read.

The interview was really interesting too. Clearly this person has read a lot of crime novels, or at least enough to know how these investigations normally go in novels and who gets arrested and who doesn't. And they have very meticulously planned out things to say and how to act. Clearly the murderer is intelligent. And they are (most likely) not the son of a Death Eater. And they seem to know about Muggle technology. Not sure if these are all clues or just red herrings, but this is all the information I have so far and I'm going to keep this all in mind as I read future chapters haha.

It's not Theo, or Michael. I assume it's one of the characters listed in the beginning, and right now I don't have much of a guess. (At first my (incorrect) guess was Hermione, before I figured out it had to be one of those people listed haha.)

So anyway. I think this is such a great idea for a story, and I absolutely love how the mystery is in the identity of the narrator. I'm curious what motives the narrator had for murdering Parvati.

I'm really interested in the story so far and am eager to read on! Thanks for swapping with me! :D

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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter Four

1st October 2014:
Oh, well, bravo! You did trick me!

Dean was my first suspect, because (1) he comforted Seamus in what appeared to be a friendly manner, (2) he was Seamus' best friend (3) Therefore, he would have known both the Patil's well and might have had a motive, (4) He didn't know how to eat from a fancy dinner set, (5) He didn't want to be judged by his father, who Dean always believed had left him and his mother (but was really killed by Death Eaters), and (6) he was playing snooker with "the guys", although I did think that clue might be a trick, because it never actually says the murderer is one.

Daphne was my second suspect. I couldn't see any clear motive, but it was perfectly possible she would be comforting. It was possible she wouldn't want to be judged by her father, though we know little about him. It made sense that she'd talk to Theo so much, since they were both Slytherins. And she was the second least-mentioned character.

Pansy--wow, you got me. She was my third guess. I had noticed that, whenever the murderer referred to her, it was never in such a way that made it a sure thing that they were separate people. The biggest reasons I discounted her were (1) If there were already rumors that she was a murderess, I'd have thought she'd be higher up on the suspect list, and (2) As a wealthy Pureblood and the owner of the house, I thought she'd know how to use the dinner utensils. But of course, the rest of the clues all match up to her, and she'd know the place best. And, of course, that motive!

But that was very neatly done. I'm so impressed, Sian! Her motive makes perfect sense, too, but by then I was so convinced it was Dean (as you cleverly arranged by the structure of the accusations) that I totally overlooked the brief clue towards the end, where they mention the one murder that had been previously committed, that Parvati knew about. And really, of course we should have known whose murder that was--you'd been telling us all along!

As it turns out, my charts were no match for your brilliance. Bravo to you! And congratulations. You totally deserve that Dobby nomination for Best Plot Twist!

Really, incredible job. It was so well written and constructed. I am amazed. Amazed!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny! Wah, I've taken far too long to reply to these amazing reviews, but I really do appreciate them!

Yay, I'm so glad I tricked you! I was hoping for some sort of plot twist at the end of this, but for it to be nominated and become a finalist in the Dobbys for that was just incredible!

Haha, I have to say that your reasoning for both Dean and Daphne makes sense - at least, that's what I wanted you to think in this, especially with the different little hints that you picked up on. It was really difficult to write this without giving away the murderer's identity from the start, so while dropping clues I also didn't want to give too much away! Although there were a few rumours about Pansy's past, it was more just talk - there'd been an investigation and nothing had been proven, and she'd inherited the house without spending much time there. Plus, perhaps she isn't the most reliable of narrators ;)

I'm really pleased that you thought it made sense and was plausible for her to be the murderer, but especially that you didn't think it was by the end. Thank you so much for all these wonderful reviews, and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this story!


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Review #5, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter Three

30th September 2014:
Oh my goodness, this is so good!

So, I think that in my eagerness to solve the mystery, I have failed to adequately stress how amazing your writing is.

The writing of this is FABULOUS! It reads like a novel. Better than many books I've read!

Okay, so for now, I've been eagerly trying to solve the mystery. Like, I'm making charts and taking notes and everything.

They may be color coded. Obsessed, you say? Pah! Nonsense. Devoted to the pursuit of truth!

I have 2 main suspects, both of whose names begin with D. I haven't totally ruled out the proprietor of the establishment. And then there's always the possibility that it's something totally crazy, like that someone's actually there and on Polyjuice Potion and isn't really any of the suspects, GoF-style. After all, we know the killer is good at Disillusionment charms, which could mean they are good at disguises, over all. Or one of the bodies could actually not be their body at all, and could be magically disguised. But that's getting very convoluted. And there's one more chapter. Hopefully a few more clues. But will I figure it out before the grand reveal? Dun duhn DUHN!

Well, I'm gonna try, at least.

Thanks for the fun! (Which maybe sounds creepy, but come on. Solving fake murders is totally fun!)

--Penny

Author's Response: Wah, Penny, you're complimenting me so much in these reviews that I honestly don't know what to say, I'm just blushing! Better than books you've read... wow. Thank you so, so much! ♥

Oh my goodness, I love that you're making lists and trying to work out who the killer is! I think you're definitely paying attention to the clues that I've been leaving, but I couldn't possibly comment on your suspects ;)

Thank you again!


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Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter Two

30th September 2014:
Mrs. Peacock the Study with the Candlestick!

No? But come on, I'm close, right?

"I know what my reaction would be, if I was innocent and someone asked me that, and sure enough, he doesnít disappoint. I take mental notes in case the time comes for me."
--So calculating! It's very chilling.

And how did they kill Padma?!

Sian, this is just written so well. I am loving it!

Now, I must away! More clues (hopefully) await me in the next chapter. I have suspicions, but I'm not sure. Who can it be?!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hahaha Mrs Peacock in the study with the candlestick indeed!

The killer is pretty calculating in this story, and this chapter especially. There's a certain amount of planning that's gone into this... including how they killed Padma, which you now know but I don't want to give away in this response ;)

Ah, thank you, that means a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, and thanks again for the review!


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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter One

30th September 2014:
OOoh!

Hey Sian! I'm here checking out the entries for the Best Plot Twist challenge.

I love the tone here. SOooo creepy, but in this casual way that makes it...well, creepier.

It feels very And Then There Were None.

I'm exceedingly intrigued. And I love a challenge! Will I be able to guess who it is? Will I be shocked (probably). Well, I'm eager to find out. Off to find a magnifying glass and one of those funny Sherlock Holmes hats, then on to Chapter 2!

Wish me luck!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny!

Ah, it's so sweet of you to check out all the entries AND leave these wonderful reviews for me!

Hehe, I had so much fun writing this story. It was definitely a challenge to write but it was great to write from the perspective of a murderer who's quite detached and casual about the killing!

That's such a compliment, you have no idea! I haven't read that book but love Agatha Christie so that is amazing to hear!

It's great that you want to take on the challenge of working out the murderer's identity! Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #8, by crestwood Chapter One

16th September 2014:
Hey Sian! I've seen you all over the forums, but I don't think we've ever formally met. If not, hello, I'm Joey!

You have gotten so many votes for Best Reviewer and I was really excited when you offered to swap with me! If only because I think great reviewers deserve some great reviews of their own.

How could I not pick this story? This summary may be the most alluring that I've ever seen. It really told me all I needed to know. This is definitely my kind of story. I just can't pass up a bit of dramatic irony. A mystery in which I know the answer from the very beginning is a mystery that I can have a lot of fun with.

And now that I've begun reading this, it seems that the actual mystery is going to be the identity of the murderer, even though we're seeing things from his point of view. That adds yet another layer to this. How interesting!

I thought the beginning in which the murderer refers to the characters as "the cast" was so great. This reminded me a lot of the Twilight Zone if the Twilight Zone was told in first person. It had that same chilling kind of air and I can definitely see this leading up to a shocking plot twist that no one could see coming.

I did a bit of re-reading to see if I could narrow it down by who he thinks of objectively and who he refers to as a separate entity, but it isn't possible to get a sure suspect just yet. I wonder if you'll let the reader be able to deduce it before the end. And even if you do, whether you wont hit us with another surprise right as we think we've got it figured out.

Honestly, I wish I had thought of this. I enjoy thinking up surprising and unique plots, but I think you may have subverted the expectations of the subverter. You've really got my brain working!

Whoever the narrator is, they've certainly mastered the art of acting. They not only deflect suspicion from themselves, but heap it onto someone else. And they were careful not to seem too eager to do so and seem as though they just want to deflect blame. Just absolutely genius. You've gotten inside of this person's head so well.

I can't wait to see this second stage that is supposed to begin soon. I can't even describe my excitement to see what you've thought up for the rest. Phenomenal start! I'll be back as soon as I possibly can be. Thank you so much for the swap and congratulations on all of your Dobby nominations, they're well deserved!

Author's Response: Hi Joey, it's nice to meet you!

Ah, it's sweet of you to say that you were excited to swap with me - I hope my review didn't disappoint :P

This story is honestly one of the favourites that I've ever written, so I'm glad you thought the summary was intriguing and wanted to read it! This was one of those pieces that stemmed from a random What If? thought, and then a couple of days' writing, and this is the final product. Not that it was easy to write, since I was using first person while still trying to conceal the identity of the narrator/killer...

I've not seen/read (? - only heard of) the Twilight Zone, but it's great that you found the beginning of the narration chilling!

I'm really interested to see if you managed to guess the killer's identity correctly before the end! It was so much fun to write this and leave all the hints and clues throughout, while still trying to keep back enough information not to give it away completely.

Well, I can't really ask for any bigger compliment than someone wishing they'd thought of this plot themselves, can I? Thank you!

The narrator's fairly calm and composed at this stage, and certainly seems to know what they have to do to deflect suspicion from themselves. Thank you for the congratulations and the fantastic review!


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Review #9, by TidalDragon Chapter Four

16th September 2014:
Well-played Sian...well-played. I never considered the murderer might reference themselves by name after the introductions so that's how you tricked my method! Oh well. I'll just have to content myself with the fact that the people I was looking at were the last two ruled out. Small victories...

Anyway, I really enjoyed the story and I think you did an excellent job with it. It was an immense challenge, telling it from the murderer's POV and still tricking people about their identity. I've said before the characterizations were great, and having Harry and the Aurors walk through this measured reveal was an enjoyable finish to a well done story.

You should definitely write another mystery!

Author's Response: Hi Kevin!

Haha, well I wasn't going to give anything away in my review responses (which was REALLY hard, by the way), but I'm pretty pleased that I managed to trick your method and keep you guessing at who the murderer was. But your method did work, and was kind of what I was hoping for!

I'm really glad that you enjoyed this and think I wrote it well! It definitely was a challenge to write a murder mystery from the killer's POV but still try to conceal the identity, but I'm so happy that you think it worked. Thank you for all your reviews and for keeping up with this story!


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Review #10, by Chazzie Chapter Four

13th September 2014:
Ah, I was so close! Sigh. What an amazing story. You really did a brilliant job of building up all the suspense and tension, particularly amongst the guests. This is exactly what a murder mystery story should do, keep you guessing right till the end. And you went one step further than that, by writing in the point of view of the murderer. You have really done a fantastic job with this. I really can't tell you how brilliant that was to read. Thank you so much for posting it!
Lottie

Author's Response: Yes, you were close!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story! It really was an experiment for me in my writing so it's fantastic that you think it worked, and that I managed to keep you guessing throughout the story, and built up the suspense and tension here.

Thank you so, so much for keeping up with this story and leaving reviews for every chapter too - they've meant a lot, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!


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Review #11, by MargaretLane Chapter Four

13th September 2014:
Hmm, this murderer is quick to think on his or her feet. Even half-asleep and at a moment's notice it occurs to him or her that if they weren't the murderer, a knock on the door in the middle of the night would be rather worrying under the current circumstances.

*laughs at Theo and Seamus both blaming each other*

In a way Parvati sort of brought the whole thing on herself. Not that it justifies what the murderer did, but she was wrong to cover up their former crime for money. This fits with the rumours about Pansy, but I'm still holding out for the possibility of Daphne.

Great ending. The last thing I would have expected was for Harry to have known from the start about what Parvati thought.

I won't mention the killer here actually, in case anybody looks at the reviews before reading the chapter, but I will say the solution makes sense.

Author's Response: This murderer definitely is quick to think on their feet - they've put a lot of planning into what they're doing here and so are prepared for most situations.

Haha, I love the little rivalry between Seamus and Theo!

I know what you mean, and I'm with you on that. Of course it doesn't justify what happened, and particularly not for Padma, but she did make a pretty fatal mistake!

I'm really glad that you liked the ending, and that the solution made sense. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this story, and thank you so much for all your reviews!


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Review #12, by Willow Chapter Three

7th September 2014:
You're an amazing writer, can't wait to read the next chapter. If I was to guess if say the murderer was Pansy because she hated her father and was such an amazingly deep character in your other story that had Pansy in it. And this person doesn't like their father either.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so, so much! I've been away from the archives for a few days and getting this review when I got back was awesome. It means so much to me that you took the time to review and have read others of my stories too!

Of course, I can't say anything about your guesses on the murderer's identity... The last chapter of the story is in the queue and will hopefully be up in a few days - I hope you enjoy it!


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Review #13, by Chazzie Chapter Three

7th September 2014:
That was brilliant. I am most certainly still enjoying it. It is impossible not to enjoy, but I really really want to find out who the murderer is.

Character list again.
~Parvati - you've said I can discount her as she is dead
~Padma - ditto
~Seamus - nope
~Dean - I... Don't think it's him.
~Lavender - no
~Michael - nein
~Pansy - Maybe?
~Daphne - SUSPECTED
~Theo - non

Okay. Thoughts. I am going to say that I don't think it's Dean. I said previously that I thought the murderer was female, and I'm pretty certain now. They didn't step between Seamus and Theo, and their actions seem more feminine than they would if they were male. So I'll call the murderer a she until you tell me otherwise. I'm still a little suspicious of Pansy because that would give a motive behind the killing of Parvati, if she knew what she'd done to her husband. But what if - plot twist - it was Daphne that killed Pansy's husband. That could be the deep dark secret. The murderer said something about poison being unoriginal, which might hint that if they did kill Pansy's husband then they didn't use poison. Or they didn't want to use the same thing twice, incase that helped the aurors figure everything out. Or I'm reading far too much into this.

Just maybe.

Asking Daphne to go first for the interviews makes sense if she is our murderer. Because the murderer has overheard the victims talking before the Patils ended up dead and told the aurors, even if she lied about the first one actually happening. She also was the one to ask Seamus not to start blaming people. So the aurors would want to talk to her in particular. I know Proudfoot says it's not in any order, but they always say that to stop people from jumping to conclusions. My doubt comes from the fact that Pansy took Daphne and Theo with her to the hotel. That makes it seem like Daphne didn't plan it, but Pansy did. Sigh.

I think it's Daphne. Could be Pansy, but I'm hedging my bets with Daphne. Yes. I'm going to submit this review now so I can't keep doubting myself.

Loved it. I beg you (nicely, I swear) to upload the next chapter soon... I need to read it :P

Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie!

Ah, okay, so in my eagerness to respond to the reviews on the final chapter of this, with the big reveal, I overlooked this review and am now responding to them out of order... sorry!

By now you already know the murderer, and I have to say that you were one of the closest, but I think your reasoning behind Daphne as the suspect was really interesting and well thought out! It was great to get this review and see you taking account of all the little details to try and solve the killer's identity, because I put a lot of effort into including little hints and clues so it's nice to know that people are excited about reading it and trying to solve the mystery too!

Thank you for all these brilliant reviews you've left me, and also a massive thank you for nominating this story in the Dobbys! :D


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Review #14, by TidalDragon Chapter Three

31st August 2014:
Hmm. I can't wait for the reveal! This chapter has just confirmed that I have it down to the right two people (I think) so the question is do I have the person right? Well, I'm not one to bolt on my first bet, so I'll double down on Dean. I think it'd be more surprising if he did something low-down and dirty too per the letter from Parvati. Plus Parvati's more likely to owl a fellow Gryffindor right?

Anyway, I enjoyed this chapter as well and I think you've done a careful and good job with both not tipping your hand (because there's more than one option for the killer still, despite the POV) and keeping a consistent characterization across the chapters.

The only thing I noticed a bit of is that before Michael splits up Seamus and Theo is that some of the language and ideas got a bit repetitive through that section. Something to think about if you ever edit, but not a big deal.

I wonder now who Parvati told. Could it be Harry, seeing as he's a character you've listed? But you've listed Dean too...what? I hadn't noticed that. Grr... I will get my answers Sian!

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Oops, I just realised that I responded to your reviews on this out of order... *blushes*

Hmm, Dean is a very interesting suspect. It's great that you're sticking by what you thought from very early on, though!

I'll definitely go back and have a look at that scene - I'm always looking to try and improve where I can! I'm glad you think the characterisation was consistent though and that I managed to still leave some ambiguity about the killer's identity!

Thank you for this review, Kevin, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!


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Review #15, by MargaretLane Chapter Three

26th August 2014:
Actually, I think I made a mistake in my review of the last chapter. I think there are two people you still haven't mentioned.

Interesting. The killer says Michael is clearly innocent, but doesn't say that about the others.

My guess would be Daphne Greengrass.

Hmm, really don't see how it can be Seamus now, as the killer addresses him by name and in front of the Aurors, so it can't really be a duel personality/talking to himself thing. *ponders*

Author's Response: Michael's the poor guy who's been caught up in the house without any real connection to these killings or the victims other than his wife, Lavender. I kind of feel sorry for him :P

Haha, it would be extremely interesting to write someone who was talking to himself through the story but I can say now that your thoughts on Seamus have a good foundation!

Your guess is really interesting, but of course, I couldn't possibly comment ;) Thank you for sticking with this story and reviewing - I'm glad you're enjoying it!


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Review #16, by StarlightAsteria Chapter Two

25th August 2014:
Hi!

Another fabulous chapter - I cannot think of any suggestion I would make that would improve this :) The voice of your narrator is very distinctive. Based on deduction, I'd say your murderer is either Dean or Daphne.

The narrator has clearly planned this very meticulously, and I cannot wait for the next chapter - update quickly, please :)

Celi xx

Author's Response: Hi again, Celi!

I'm really glad that you liked this chapter too! I can't possibly comment on whether or not your guesses about the killer's identity are right or not, but they're very interesting!

Yes, there's a lot of planning gone into this murder! The next chapter is now up - I hope you like it!

Thank you for the great reviews!


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Review #17, by StarlightAsteria Chapter One

25th August 2014:
Hi!

This is fascinating stuff. Your narrator is so compelling, but at the same time I found this chapter slightly terrifying to read. I love how you've put the spin on the classic murder mystery - a terrific opening chapter. You said this was a bit of an experiment; honestly, it doesn't show at all.

I'm very curious about your narrator's relationship to Theo - it seems slightly ambiguous, and that touch about Theo automatically being suspected because he is a Death Eater's son I found really sad. Is the murderer hoping to exploit the Auror's prejudice?

I suppose there are five people left it could be, aren't there? But I haven't been able to narrow it down yet :)

Anyhoo, brilliant premise, and I'm looking forward to reading more :)

Celi xx

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm really happy that you enjoyed this start to the story! This definitely was a bit of an experiment but I'm glad you thought it worked well, putting a spin on the murder mystery. It was really interesting to write from the murderer's perspective, but a little scary too!

I'm glad that the relationship to Theo seems a bit ambiguous at the moment, because that's what I intended - hopefully you're still guessing! And I think the killer might be happy to exploit any opportunity to direct suspicion away from them...

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #18, by MargaretLane Chapter Two

9th August 2014:
Okay, I am taking note of who's been mentioned in the third person, but I doubt it'll help, as I've a feeling you'll have to make the villain refer to themselves in the third person, as it would be pretty difficult to mention everybody else by name and the villain in 1st person without making it obvious. Especially if the killer does kill a couple more people. It might be possible to hide the person's identity among nine people, but if it gets down to about six, one person never being mentioned by name would probably be obvious.

Hmm, this really makes it sound as if it's not Michael or Lavender as the villain says Michael said that "to me" and they are speaking ABOUT Lavender and Michael would hardly speak about Lavender TO her.

Yikes, this villain really does seem like a psychopath. "Her best friend has been killed, but that can't be helped". As if murder is no big deal.

Hmm, this sounds like the villain, whoever he or she is, hasn't intended to kill Lavender, so it's not just that they want to kill everybody there. Interesting.

The comment that Theo doesn't know it's him or her seems to imply they are not the same person. Plus Theo was talking to him or her and he or she mentioned glaring at Theo, so he seems unlikely. If it were just the mention of Theo not knowing it's them, I might think it could be a case of duel personality, but as it is, he seems unlikely.

Hmm, that part about poisoning being a woman's weapon makes it seem like the villain is a woman. After all, if they were a man, that'd be a good thing; put the Aurors off the scent. Of course, it COULD also be a misogynist who wouldn't want to do anything "feminine". And that would fit with the fact that both the first victim and the person they've thought of adding in to their plan are female. But "it would make me seem more likely" would be my immediate interpretation.

There has now only been one character who hasn't been mentioned by name, I think. I won't say who, so as not to influence what anybody else thinks. And it is POSSIBLE I've missed a mention of this person. I think there must be a trick in here somewhere though, as I doubt you'd make it that obvious.

I wasn't exactly EXPECTING that ending, but it doesn't exactly surprise me, as the killer had implied he or she was planning further murders and the sister of the murder victim seems likely. Padma herself even SUGGESTED she might be the next victim.

What does surprise me is how she died. That seemed like poison, which the killer ruled out as a method. So how did he or she arrange for somebody to drop dead at the dinner table with everybody watching. I guess it could be magic, but...

Author's Response: Haha, you're very suspicious of me and the way that I'm writing this! Not that you don't have reason to be, since I'm trying to make it mysterious for as long as possible :P You're right about the killer's identity being harder to conceal among fewer people, though!

Your comments on the different characters that appear here are really interesting. It's so intriguing to read everyone's reasoning behind different characters.

I really can't say too much in these review responses and I feel like I'm replying awfully, but I don't want to give the game away! The way that she dies might be significant but I can't comment on the gender of the killer at this point!

Thank you very much for this review! I'm so pleased that you're still enjoying the story, and there'll be some answers coming up in the last two chapters!


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Review #19, by TidalDragon Chapter Two

9th August 2014:
Hello again, Sian! I was excited when this popped up and knew I had to come check out the latest installment!

I definitely still like the way you're handling the killer's demeanor. He remains confident despite some of the unexpected changes in itinerary that the Aurors' extended stay have forced. It's nice that you've injected that and concerns about how long the staff were questioned though because I think even the most confident killer would have concerns over this. I'm interested to see if at any point stress starts to show, or if not, if we'll learn how the killer is able to suppress that. I imagine that in reality this would be an incredibly stressful situation for a "normal" killer so it would be good to know how/why yours is different.

I also really enjoyed the detail that's been injected into this. I know basically nothing about the game of snooker (except that it's kind of like pool somehow?), but I thought the game dynamic was nice. And poor Theo just can't help himself can he? He really seems rather dull or at least unthinking given what's going on to be saying the things he is.

After the conversation bit from the last chapter and then the reiteration of it in this one between Lavender and Padma I did somewhat expect that Padma was going to be next. I'm interested to see if we'll learn how the killer got her next though!

Since you've warned me I have to guess after this chapter, I'm going to go ahead and venture that it's Dean. I've been reading quite closely to see who the killer mentions actually seeing or interacting with and some of the phrases and comments made and where they've been positioned and it seems to me that I've been able to use that process to eliminate all but two people. Perhaps you'll prove to be a master of misdirection and there are definitely some clues that I think could cut either way, but I'm going to commit to Dean (at least until you reveal the next chapter and force me to rethink everything or something).

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi Kevin! I'm excited to see you here!

I can't imagine any killer being completely calm and collected when the Aurors come to stay, even if they manage to maintain that outward demeanour that suggests they are. Stress could definitely be a factor that comes into play during the rest of the story!

To be honest, I don't know very much about the game of snooker either :P (I mean, I've played it before but I needed people to tell me what I was doing...). Haha, Theo's saying some very insensitive things right now!

Dean, hmm? Your reasons for guessing him are really interesting and unfortunately I can't say much more than that!

Thanks so much for this review; I'm glad you're enjoying the story!


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Review #20, by Chazzie Chapter Two

9th August 2014:
May I say, your dialogue is extremely commendable. It is very realistic and doesn't seem forced at any point. Why is it 'necessary' to kill them, hmm? Have the Patil sisters caused offence to the murderer in some way?

~Parvati - is dead.
~Padma - is now also dead.
~Seamus - nope, he was drunk.
~Dean - a possible suspect, as it would be a fair assumption that the men would group together to play snooker (excepting Seamus who was drunk. Although why would he target his best friend's fiance, and be happy that the blame was pointing toward Seamus?) He is very plausibly the murderer.
~Lavender - no, I was wrong, she was talking to Padma when Theo and the murderer were out.
~Michael - nope, he converses with the murderer.
~Pansy - possible, and a Slytherin would know Theo quite well and go for a walk with him without arousing suspicion. She has the benefit of knowing the setting. However. The murderer says "I don't know how many staff there are." Pansy would surely know, as she came to the resort in order to check on her staff.
~Daphne - a red herring? She hasn't really been mentioned at all, which makes me slightly suspicious that it isn't her. And that makes me think that it is her. She is a Slytherin and could also go for a walk with Theo without arousing suspicion.
~Theo - no, he is mentioned separately to the murderer.

There is also the fact that the murderer didn't use poison to kill Padma, due to its association with being a woman's weapon. That would suggest that the murderer is a woman, and doesn't want the blame on them as there are only 3 remaining women left. In the previous chapter, the fake conversation that the murderer reports mentioned a 'he' being obsessed with Padma, and the murderer claimed that it was a male voice. You might just be trying to confuse your readers, but at this point, my suspicions are with Daphne.

I really love the suspense. I did think that Padma was most likely to be offed next, due to the 'conversation' the murderer reported. Other than that, the story was rather unpredictable, but very fun to read.

Lottie

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you're enjoying the dialogue! It's always something that I worry about, making it seem natural, so it's great that you think I managed that.

Hmm, the Patil sisters might well have done something that's caused them to be killed... or not? I can't tell you too much, haha!

I really love the way that you're sorting through each chapter and going through the characters so methodically! I can tell you that you're right to eliminate both Parvati and Padma since they're now dead :P Other than that I can't really comment on the other characters, but I really like your reasoning behind some of the guesses and the different characters you're suspecting!

There might be something in the idea of not using poison, but I couldn't possibly say if that reveals the gender of the killer or not!

I'm really glad that you're enjoying this story! Thank you so much for another great review!


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Review #21, by MissesWeasley123 Chapter Two

9th August 2014:
Okay, so plot development.

You're trying to mislead us, never mentioning Daphne... But it can't be her, I know that much. As if you're following canon, that means that this line here: if a girl that we've known since the age of eleven isn't lying dead in the morgue at St. Mungo's, murdered by one of the other eight guests here. -- See, it can't be her as she is 2 years younger than the rest of Harry's year!

Dean hasn't been mentioned at all so far... So I feel like it can be him! Hmm... It's so weird, the way the murderer refers to the plaques with some sort of a interest makes me want to think it is a pureblood! But no... this has to be Dean. And I'm convinced it's not Theo NOR Seamus... It still could be Pansy though! Definitely not Padma or Lavender... Really, this leaves Michael, Pansy, and Dean.

Okay, so this is amazing as always!!! I love it so much great work you amazing person ♥

Author's Response: Yes, plot development!

Perhaps I'm trying to mislead you, perhaps not. It's a mystery ;) But Daphne's actually the one in Harry's year, and Astoria's the one who's two years younger, so that line doesn't really discount her.

Hmm, your guesses are really interesting, and the way that you're eliminating people. I'm so intrigued to see the way that different people interpret the narrative and use that to deduce things! I can't say much about your guesses except more will possibly be revealed in the next chapter :P

Thank you very much for the review, lovely! ♥


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Review #22, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Chapter One

3rd August 2014:
Hey Sian!

I've finally made it here to review :D I'm so excited about this story! I can't wait to read it all. For now though I'm desperately trying to work out who this can be... I'll leave my thoughts as we go along...

So nine people... well, eight. Poor Parvati! In with the action straight away and I can't help but feel for her. What reason has the murderer got to kill Parvati? And want to kill more of them? Oh this has me thinking so much!

Now, occasionally the murderer thinks about other people, meaning I should be able to cross people off my list of people, as technically the murderer wouldn't think of themselves that way. But I don't know if this a trick by you! Just to throw us off the scent! I'll make notes though and see if it narrows it down...

I love the murderers thoughts. If it wasn't kind of creepy they would be really funny! You've also really thought of everything... like the fact they're all trapped together, giving the murderer chance to kill the rest of them. Brilliant. All though, not for the rest of them!

I like that Pansy already has a history following her that hints at past murder. I don't think it would be her though... it seems to obvious. Plus the murderer thinks about her so I don't know. Also Theo seems to have his mums past trailing him.

The murderer was very clever in seeming to put suspicion on Seamus to me with the conversation they "overheard". I'm interested to see how that develops!

So I've narrowed my list of suspects down... but I'm still not sure who it is yet... I eagerly await the next chapter!

Sian, this was a great opening and I can tell it's going to be a great story. I can't wait to find out where you're going to take it. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes. The story just flowed so well and sucked me in completely! Please update quickly ;)

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren! I'm so excited that you managed to stop by, thank you so much!

I can't help but feeling a bit bad about killing Parvati in this story, even if it's not quite my head canon. I'm so excited that you're asking questions and thinking about who the murderer could be, because that's exactly what I was hoping for!

Haha, the idea of them all being stuck in the house together for the rest of this came from Agatha Christie stories, because that always seems to happen and the concept's kind of strange to me. Writing the killer's thoughts was actually really fun though, even if it was kind of strange to put myself in their mindset!

Hmm, I'm really intrigued about who your suspects are at the moment, but I can't really give much more away other than saying that your thoughts about narrowing down the suspects and on who some of them are are very interesting!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, and I'm so glad that you liked this first chapter! I'll be putting another chapter in the queue soon if I can ♥


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Review #23, by Chazzie Chapter One

28th July 2014:
Ooooh, a mystery :D I love how the murderer has told us that they are the murderer, but not told us who they are. Your detail and dialogue is superb. Eek, I'm excited.

Well, let's see. We had nine possible suspects at the start.
~Parvati
~Padma
~Seamus
~Dean
~Lavender
~Michael
~Pansy
~Daphne
~Theo

So we can rule out Parvati as she's dead. (Um... We can rule her out right?)
Theo is taken for interview first, whist the narrator is not. So I think he can be discounted.
Padma, I don't think would have said to her interviewers about over hearing someone talking about her with her sister.
Michael, Dean, and Seamus seem a bit unlikely simply because I get the feeling that the narrator is a woman. But I won't discount them yet.
So my main suspects would be Lavender, or Pansy. Daphne has no connections to anything muggle as far as I'm aware, and thus this makes her less likely. Whereas Lavender has a halfblood husband and Pansy's late husband was muggleborn.
Hmmm... At the moment I think I will guess Lavender.

Hope to read the next chapter when it's posted :D
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read and review this story!

I'm so glad you liked the dialogue and detail that was in this! It was a bit of a challenge for myself to write a mystery from the perspective of the murderer and I'm hoping that it works out and people enjoy guessing at the murderer's identity!

I'll tell you that yes, you can rule out Parvati as she's dead :P Other than that, I'm not going to give anything away, although your guesses are very interesting to read! I hope you like the next chapter when it's posted, and thanks for the great review!


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Review #24, by Veritaserum27 Chapter One

28th July 2014:
Hello, hello!

Here for the review swap. Wow! I really liked this. It is so different - telling the story from the point of view of the murderer. I enjoy murder mysteries and and I can't wait to read the next chapter. I think that you put just enough information into this first chapter. We know the cast of characters, we know that a murder has been committed and that the protagonist has a plan. My prediction is that the main character is NOT one of the ones you mentioned in the first paragraph. I think it is someone else (like Draco, but not Draco - that is too obvious). I also think that they have a score to settle with each one of the characters. I'm not sure if they are planning on murdering all of them - or just revealing a bunch of secrets and framing someone else for the murder. Great job with this! One thing that I'm curious about is why Harry is there, but not allowed to be the lead Auror on the case. I know you said it was because he knew the victim, but I'm wondering if it is because he knows all of the suspects as well - including the murderer. Hmmm... It's not Ron, IS IT? Oh, dear, I guess I'll just have to wait for Chapter 2!!

Thanks for doing a swap!

~Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the swap!

I've read quite a few murder mysteries but never seen one from the point of view of the murderer, so even though it was difficult to write, when the idea popped into my head I couldn't resist writing it! I'm glad that you think I put enough information in this chapter!

Unfortunately I should probably tell you that the murderer actually is one of the characters who's been mentioned in the first section of this chapter. I did that because otherwise it would be a bit too difficult for people to work it out! And Harry isn't actually there at the moment, the murderer just mentioned him as Head Auror because of the other Aurors coming in to solve the case :)

Thanks for your lovely review!


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Review #25, by MargaretLane Chapter One

28th July 2014:
OK, this is probably the most original beginning to a story I ever read. I thought the first part was an A/N actually, with the whole "welcome" part, but it quickly became clear it was a character speaking when they spoke of "us" and then they announced they were the murderer. Hmm. Intriguing.

I like the fact you've chosen comparatively minor characters to make up the cast of this. It leaves us more in the dark as to who the murderer might be, because, while we feel we've a handle on what Ron, Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, etc would be likely to do, people like the Patils and Michael Corner are less easy to predict.

Yikes, that comment about how now the others aren't going to be able to get away implies this person implies to do quite a bit of killing. And they are so casual about it.

One thing I always find bizarre in detective stories is that whenever anybody seems nervous, everybody's like "what are they hiding?" and it always turns out they are hiding something. Like finding out you're in a house with a murderer isn't ENOUGH to make people nervous, not to mention being questioned by the police.

So it's not Pansy, as the narrator is speaking about her as another person. That narrows my suspect list down to seven, unless of course, that's some kind of bluff.

Michael and Theo are also mentioned, but I'm not so sure those mentions aren't bluffs, whereas the narrator really doesn't seem to know whether or not Pansy killed her husband. Although the reference to not blaming Theo makes it seem like it's not him either. Hmm. I kind of wonder if there's some bluff though, because I doubt you'd let us narrow it down that easily. The narrator DOES say Theo is first and that they are in the middle though, so unless they are unreliable...

I'm wondering why the narrator thinks Harry wouldn't interview the son of a Death Eater first.

Hmm, the indication that they are prepared for this implies the crime was premeditated.

This person's knowledge of the Muggle world and their apparent familiarity with Muggle detective stories makes me wonder if they might be a Muggleborn or half-blood. I can't see Theodore Nott or Pansy Parkinson wondering why the wizarding world hadn't caught up with the Muggle one.

The fact that the person seems to be hinting at a man makes me wonder if they might be a woman, although of course, the police are hardly going to believe the person they "overheard" is themself anyway, so not necessarily.

And I LOVE the whole invisible cord thing.

Really interesting first chapter. I'm intrigued. I want to know who the villain is.

Padma is one person who could well have a motive, though you'd sort of expect the Aurors to react if it was Parvati's sister who mentioned overhearing somebody speaking about Parvati's sister.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you SO much for that massive compliment! The idea for writing a murder mystery from the murderer's perspective popped into my head a few weeks ago and I couldn't resist writing it once I'd worked the details out. I'm so glad that you thought it was original!

Part of the reason for choosing more minor characters is that I'm more comfortable writing them than I would be with others, but also because it's harder for people to predict what they might do, so I'm pleased that you liked that choice! The killer's definitely quite casual about the situation at the moment, but things might change in the future. Haha yes, that's always struck me and there might be some secrets coming out in this story as well...

I don't want to say much more in this response other than that you're very good at picking up on all the clues that I've left in this chapter! Your reasoning makes a lot of sense and I think that some of your guesses are very interesting... I can't say more because I don't want to give the killer away yet!

I always think that Harry would be reluctant to tar anyone associated with Death Eaters with the same brush and instantly suspect them, since he did so much to try and end the prejudice there, but I'm not sure. I'm glad you liked the invisible cord idea! It was interesting to come up with some unusual and magical murder weapons and I liked that idea when I hit on it.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, I really am so glad that you enjoyed this chapter!


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