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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Andromeda Tonks

16th September 2014:
Hi Emily!

Gah, it's been far too long since I stopped by your page and read and reviewed anything of yours! So this looked really intriguing from the summary because I've never imagined much of a link between Lily Evans and Andromeda Tonks, so I was interested to see what you came up with!

I think this was a really original idea, and a great connection to make - it's not one that I've seen appearing before in fanfiction! Poor Andromeda, this made me feel even more sorry for her because she lost so much and there were plenty of people around for her to hate, especially after the second war when she'd lost both her husband and her daughter, and was left caring for her grandson. I think Lily Evans would have been the last person that I'd have thought of in connection to Andromeda, especially since I imagine Andromeda and Harry getting on quite well in the future because of their links with Teddy, but having read this I can imagine that Andromeda would see Harry and that would trigger these sorts of emotions in her.

It was great to see that connection, though, and the way that their situations were similar but inverted at the same time. I'm sure that, if she'd been given the chance, Andromeda would have happily given her life for her daughter, but she never got the chance and instead her daughter's given her life so that Andromeda can live. Of course, Tonks fought and died so many more people, including Teddy, could live in a happier and more peaceful world, but in her grief I can see Andromeda kind of obscuring that from her mind.

I think you did a really good job of portraying Andromeda's character, especially in such a short amount of words. From the beginning, with the title, it's clear that you're not afraid to show the darker side of Andromeda's feelings, and I think that makes it much more realistic and believable. In grief, lots of people feel anger and maybe misdirected hatred towards other people, so it's extremely authentic that Andromeda would feel this way towards Lily Evans, even if she barely knew her.

I think that my favourite part of the whole story was the way that you used the brackets to show Anromeda's thoughts, because it worked really well to add a little bit extra to the story, which isn't always easy to do in a piece that's this length.

This part:

'(Was it awful, that Andromeda could say so emotionlessly that her husband and her daughter had died? Death, dying, died, dead. Her husband and her daughter were dead. The words brought a dull pain into her heart.)'

This was my absolute favourite part of the story. The plosive alliteration here, with the 'Death, dying, died, dead' line, was just so effective. It showed really harshly how much pain Andromeda is feeling in her grief over the deaths of her daughter and her husband, and it just had a very powerful impact.

This was a really great story, Emily, and I enjoyed reading it!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by MissesWeasley123 Andromeda Tonks

20th August 2014:
Hey, HERE FOR MORE REVIEWS.

I need to comment on this plot because HOLY nobody would ever make this sort of connection between Andromeda and Lily, that she envied her and stuff, really interesting and unique. You have a knack for originality so keep that going always, Emily!

I liked the way she talked in brackets, it really got into her mind that was obviously really jealous and stuff. I think it was an interesting twist for the character.

I think you showed the parallels of both women really well. You showed that their differences in their lives and circumstances, actually were quite the same, just flipped. So cool!

You really controlled your words and use of smart language very nicely to keep this down to 500 words. Seriously, every word did count in this piece, so well done! ♥

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Review #3, by GinnyPotterForever Andromeda Tonks

11th August 2014:
Wow. That summary just pulled me in and then.

I never thought of something like this - I think Andromeda has enough targets to aim her hate at. Any mother would feel the same for their child.

This was good. Liked it :)

Author's Response: Among other things, I'm very glad my summary was enough to pull you in! I've never been quite sure where I stand in summary-writing skills. :P

Ugh, poor poor Andromeda. :( She has so many people to resent, you're so right. She went through so much and yet she's not written about that much, I really love her as a character.

I'm so glad you thought so! Thanks for the lovely review! :)


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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 Andromeda Tonks

6th August 2014:
Oh no... This is too sad. :/ I can see why you would cry about this, especially when listening to that song...

Andromeda/Ted (or Tedromeda, as I like to call them) is a new favorite ship of mine, but I *try* not to think about what happens when Ted and Dora die, leaving Andromeda all alone. It leads to an overload of sadness, which is what this story is. :/

Good sadness, of course! It is good to feel sad sometimes, especially in the midst of so much fluff. But still. Sad is sad.

Andromeda is sad. She is deeply and profoundly sad, and I love how you showed that. Her sadness manifests itself in hatred and jealousy, and maybe those emotions are sincere, but they are driven by sadness. She lost her balance, her Ted, and now everything is different and it has become okay to hate someone who died. :'(

The funny thing is, I never thought about Andromeda's feelings in relation to Lily Evans. I never even considered that she would have a reason to hate Lily, but this short little one-shot has taught me differently. Lily died to save Harry. Andromeda could not do that for Dora. And even though she has a grandson, a reminder of the daughter she lost, it isn't going to be enough. She's going to look at Teddy's blue hair and metamorphosing nose and think of Dora, think of all the times she scolded her for not washing her hands before dinner and all the times she didn't say "I love you." Andromeda is experiencing major survivor's guilt on top of her sadness and hatred and jealousy, and it is just awful to see her going through that. :/

"(Was it awful, that Andromeda could say so emotionlessly that her husband and her daughter had died? Death, dying, died, dead. Her husband and her daughter were dead. The words brought a dull pain into her heart.)"~One of my favorite quotes from this story. For Andromeda, Ted and Dora are dead in every sense of the word and she can do nothing about it. It has become a fact that she must live with. Separating herself from the emotion is the only way to cope with it.

Gosh, you've got such a brilliant command of the English language and such a knack for evoking emotion in the reader (namely, me). Just look at all these feels you've given me! *drops feels into a wheelbarrow* It's going to take a minute to sort through these...

I do need to take a break from the feels to ask a question about pronouns:

In this sentence: "Did it matter that if she could have, Andromeda Tonks would have gone to her sister and stood in front of her as the Killing Curse had come out of her wand?", do you mean that the Killing Curse would have come out of Andromeda's sister's wand? (I'm thinking that Bellatrix=Andromeda's sister...) The pronouns got a little bit confusing for me, but I think I worked it out in the end. :)

Seriously, you did such a stellar job with this. I'm incredibly impressed that you took a break from JulNo to write it! And I can't wait to read your JulNo novel. :)

~Mallory

P.S. Thanks for the help with my banner crisis earlier. (Because I couldn't end this review without mentioning it, y'know?) You are super awesome for putting up with my almost-meltdown! :D

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Review #5, by i_held_the_moon Andromeda Tonks

29th July 2014:
Eeek, this was so good!! My favourite bit was:

'(Was it awful, that Andromeda could say so emotionlessly that her husband and her daughter had died? Death, dying, died, dead. Her husband and her daughter were dead. The words brought a dull pain into her heart.)'

It's just so well written and made so many emotions rush through me! You might want to have a wee look at the way it flows, some of the sentences don't flow as smoothly as they could, but all in all it was great! Well done!!

9/10

Author's Response: Aaahhh, thank you so much for your kind words and review! ♥

I was afraid that Andromeda would come off as too emotionless in that bit, I'm glad you liked that quote! The poor lady did go through a lot, honestly, I hate that she hadd to suffer so much. :(

Thank you! I'm so glad I could make you feel something for Andromeda. Yes, I was afraid of that because it was written for the Every Word Counts Challenge so I had to do quite a bit of editing to get it down to 500 words. You're right, it doesn't flow as well as it could, and I'll have a look at that. :/

Thanks so much for the lovely reviews and feedback! ♥


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