1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyLou Gluttony

6th September 2014:
Hi, here for the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge!

You should be receiving a review from Lo (maraudertimes) soon enough, as soon as she gets round to your entry! But for now, here's mine!

Overall, you portrayed both sins very well. The lust was well described, and you definitely made it lust rather than love or anything like that. It was one hundred percent lust, which is good. I also like how you weaved the lust into James and Lily as well, rather than just focusing it on Marlene and Sirius. It shows that you put thought into the story and gives it more of a professional feel, if you know what I mean. It was very thought out for a short story collection. So well done on the first one!

The second one, Gluttony, was much more fluff and not nearly as serious as the lust, which was a good break for whatever comes next. I love how Dorea scolded him, and you made Gluttony truly seem like a sin, the way she told him to enjoy things, but not overdo it and all that jazz. It was very well written, though short and sweet for the most part.

I feel like a tad more detail could have made this second one a more enjoyable read, though. But other than that, it was fantastic :D

Overall great entry. Thanks for participating! It means a lot!

-Janelle

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