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Reading Reviews for Waiting on You
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by melian Waiting on You

17th April 2017:
Erica! This was really sweet.

I know what you mean about your first attempt at slash. I did mine only recently – well, first attempt at slash where it was the main pairing – and it’s not an easy thing to start on, is it? I think it’s probably like writing sex scenes, though, in that once you’ve started, the more you write the easier it gets.

I must say too that Albus and Scorpius are such a cute pairing that it’s hard to leave them be, is it? I mean, if you’re going to start writing a same-sex relationship, then they’re probably the ideal ones to start with. And you’ve done such a good job! I really buy the nervousness, the apprehension, the conviction it wasn’t to be, and then the revelation that Scorpius is in fact ready to try it out. It’s so SWEET!!! And I mean that. It’s not nauseating, or over the top, or fluffy as a duck, or anything like that. It’s just the start of something that could be beautiful.

The other thing I really liked was the bit at the start about what it was like to be Harry Potter’s son. I know that a lot of next-gen does explore this, but you’ve covered so much in such a succinct way that it really strikes a chord with me. The only thing that grated was the use of the word “benefit” when Albus was thinking about being boxed in – “another benefit of being Harry Potter’s son”. It grated because it felt like Al didn’t see it as a benefit. Maybe you were using sarcasm – that can be hard to pick up in the written word – but I was thinking maybe “side-effect” would work better. Feel free to ignore, though, as it’s just my opinion.

Overall a lovely piece about the nervousness that precedes the beginning of a relationship. Really beautifully done.

Cheers Mel

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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Waiting on You

17th April 2017:
It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them.

I think this is a neat line. I could actually see one of Harry's kids being gay and for some reason I truly believe it would have been Albus. Why? I don't know it's just this gut feeling. And Scorpius would have to be his boyfriend, even for a little while, just because. It's a personal canon of mine I guess. I thought this line was nice though because it reveals the complexities of not only being a Potter but Albus being unable to be his authentic self. He sounds so...angry, which is upsetting.

I thought it was good he was willing to wait for him to come out. If he pushed him to come out I wouldn't have been thrilled because he clearly hadn't been ready himself for a very long time. Outing another is just plain wrong, especially if you sincerely want to be with them. I thought you handled that aspect really well but there was something missing with this story. It was short so I guess you were just trying to give us a glimpse into Albus and his feelings but I think I would have liked a bit more. Maybe it could have been fleshed out a little bit more the waiting part where he was unsure if Scorpius was going to show up or not and then maybe insert some hesitation when Scorpius does show up like, are they really doing the right thing? Should they be together? Is everything going to be okay? I just felt personally for me that something was missing but I think it was a still good start to a story.

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Review #3, by SereneChaos Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
You know, I've never read this ship before (and didn't even know it existed, lol!). I definitely agree that Albus would feel boxed in by Harry's fame (it must be awful to have a celebrity father!) and I liked how your were explicit about why Albus liked Scorpius. It could just be because I've never considered this ship before, but I'd have liked to have seen some more interaction between Albus and Scorpius just so I could buy into it more. OR! I'd love to see this written from Scorpius' pov, since he's the one that's struggling to come out to Albus. That could be a fun one for you to write! lol, it does warm my heart though, to think of what their fathers would do if they found out their sons were in love with their former arch nemesis' son! Thanks for the new ship idea and for writing this!

(House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff)

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Review #4, by SunshineDaisies Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Hufflepuff

Hello again!

This was such a sweet story! I love the idea of Albus being drawn to Scorpius because he wasn't tripping over himself to meet someone famous, likely as a result of being a Malfoy. He is attracted to him by virtue of Scorpius being a Malfoy without caring at all that he is a Malfoy. It's a pretty beautiful bit of irony.

I also really enjoyed Albus's musings on whether or not Scorpius was ready to come out. Albus respected his decision, without pressuring him about it at all. I think it's an important part of slash to address, and you addressed it very appropriately without too much drama or angst.

Lovely, lovely, lovely! :)

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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
HI FRIEND! I've come to stalk your author page :D

I do love a good Scorbus story, and this is definitely one of them! I really like the character that you've given Albus, especially the way he feels about being Harry Potter's son. I think there's a sense of conflict there, like he loves it when it suits him but it's not without it's drawbacks. I think this line sums up Scorbus as a pairing so well:
He did not care if Albus was a Potter; just as much as Albus did not care that he was a Malfoy. It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them. THAT is exactly why they work so well, because they'd have to have such strong feelings for each other to be able to ignore the last names.

Gah, that ending is so adorable♥ I can just picture Albus helping Scorpius up and the two of them walking through the hallway hand in hand. This was just pure fluff and I loved it, as with everything you write ♥

Dee
Hufflepuff house cup 2015

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Review #6, by Jayna Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

I'm not very familiar with slash, but this seemed good to me. The emotions came off very clearly in this and everything seemed realistic. I can totally imagine this playing out exactly how you wrote it. I liked how you worked their families into this story, and especially how you described the consequences of being a Potter. I can only imagine what how Harry and Draco would react to finding out about this. Anyway, I loved all the descriptions and imagery you used. It really made the story and the setting come to life. Your dialogue flowed well and didn't seem stiff. Overall, this was interesting and the flow was really good.

-Jayna

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Review #7, by Dojh167 Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015 Review

I really like that you introduced Albus as the privileged, spoiled one. Based on the Hogwarts Era we think of Malfoy as the one with these traits, but it does make sense that things would have shifted in the Next Gen.

I also loved the imagery of Albus being boxed n in the classroom, which was both physically and emotionally evocative.

I would have more specifically liked to know the context here. I got the impression that this was a secret lovers' meeting, but I was unclear where the pressure of Scorpius needing to come out was tied in. Where were they going?

I'm definitely glad that you made something HAPPEN in this story, as very often people just summarize things in WEWC entries, but you definitely used the words you had well.

Thanks,

Sam.

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Review #8, by adluvshp Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Slytherin review.

Aw this was very sweet. I liked how Albus was not used to waiting, being Harry Potter's son he always got what he wanted. But then the irony that he always felt boxed in, people seeking his attention etc and he didn't like it was interesting.

It made sense that in these circumstances he was attracted to a boy who didn't care about his last name. And Albus didn't care about the Malfoy name either. The struggle to come out as gay was also very nicely shown. Even though this wasn't from Scorpius' point of view, I could understand his nervousness.

The ending bit was sweet as the boys decided they were ready. If you love someone, you don't need to hide it and I'm glad the two understood that - and Albus got what he wanted, or well who he wanted. Their pairing is cute and you definitely showed this in a nice way.

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Review #9, by DracoFerret11 Waiting on You

20th June 2015:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the House Cup 2015! So, let's go over things:

Lines I Loved: This isn't usually something I include in reviews, but when something strikes me, I like to mention it! In this story, it was the line, "It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them." That had a sort of Romeo-and-Juliet vibe, but in a good way! I thought it seemed deep. So...good job!

Plot: Despite this being so short, I think it was really sweet. I really liked reading about Albus and Scorpius finally deciding to tell everyone the truth. I'm sure that would be nerve-wracking, but you made it seem exciting too.

Characterization: I really, really liked that you made Albus a bit like James Potter I. He was a bit cocky, pretty self-assured, but I liked it. I wish I could read even more with this characterization of him! I would love to see how he and Scorpius play off one another and how their personalities interact.

Emotions: Gah! I wish I could see more of the nerves they're feeling! They must be so on edge to be telling everyone the truth. This story could be five times as long, and I'd still read it. Heck, it could be even longer than that!

Descriptions: This is so short, but I so wanted more! In a good way! I really wanted to see this relationship evolve and develop, and I wanted to see how everyone reacted. I think it's such an exciting idea. I really love it. :)

Overall, I really liked this! Good foray into LGBTQA! Well done!

--Emily (DarkRose)

Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015

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Review #10, by The Red Leaf Faery Waiting on You

29th March 2015:
Hello there! Easter's coming up, as I'm sure you know, and in preparation for that I'm fluttering around the archives leaving tokens of goodwill around the place. I'm only a small faery and I can only do small things, but hopefully they bring a smile to your face anyway.

Oh, do you know, I simply love Scorbus. The pairing is beautiful and I have a fondness for beautiful things.

This was barely scraping 500 words and yet I think you managed to convey a whole lot with it, which is a skill definitely worth having as an author.

I loved how you characterised Al - right from the start, we know that he has a few bad traits, impatience being the most prominent, and I adore that you managed to give us good reasons for those traits as well and not simply trust us to believe you.

Ohhh, queer things are very near and dear to my heart and coming out must truly be a nerve-wracking experience, no? I love that Scorpius was a little afraid to do it at first, so utterly realistic, and you wrote it with so much sensitivity.

It makes sense that Scorpius would be more scared to come out than Al - after all, Albus would be forgiven a lot of things for his association with Harry Potter, but Scorpius Malfoy can't have been on the receiving end of such nice treatment all his life.

You know, I hardly believe this is your first slash attempt - it certainly doesn't show! You've done a fabulous job with this and I have to run off now to make sure that the leaves are behaving - none of your northern hemisphere nonsense, it's autumn down here - but believe me when I say this was lovely!

The Red Leaf Faery

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Review #11, by Aphoride Waiting on You

14th February 2015:
Hi Erica - happy Valentine's Day! :) Found time to squeeze you in... :P Hope your boyfriend appreciates the dinner you're making for him ;)

Okay, so I had to stop by on this one - I thought it might be nicer than others, considering this one had a few less reviews ;)

I love the way you've characterised Albus and Scorpius in this - they're so cute and so sweet - with Scorpius being more nervous about coming out than Albus is - it makes so much sense considering Scorpius' family haven't exactly been known for being open-minded in the past, with the pureblood supremacy and all ;) Also, I love how Albus understands that Scorpius might be scared and doesn't blame him for it or want to push him into making that kind of decision. They're so great! :)

Also, I love how you dealt with the subject matter - coming out can be incredibly difficult for people, and I love how you wrote that into it so sensitively. It was beautiful! :) The ending was so perfect, with the two of them doing it together!

Your writng was gorgeous, too! I'm always so impressed by people who do these kinds of micro-stories in 500 words and things, because they're always so amazing, and this was no exception. It's so great and so simply beautiful, with the description of feelings and so on. So, so lovely! :)

I loved this one-shot - sorry if this review is a little short, but I don't really know what else to say other than I love this over and over again - it's so great! :)

Aph xx

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Review #12, by lightthecandle Waiting on You

29th December 2014:
Hey Erica! Review Hot Seat, Round 2 time!

I absolutely love the fact that you've made Albus impatient and contribute it to the fact that he presumably got everything he wanted as a child. And you managed to convey it within the first few sentences that I really believed it :)

On the other hand, it was so adorable and really mature of him to admit he wouldn't mind waiting for Scorpius to admit he was gay. Even though he was used to getting things almost immediately.

And I let out a little 'aw' when it was revealed Scorp was sat outside just trying to gain courage and confidence to tell Albus how he felt and the ending was just so open-ended that you could really interpret how you would wish the relationship to progress :)

An cute, adorable one-shot and I'm so glad that I read it :D

~Aimee xxx

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Review #13, by likeness_of_a_seabird Waiting on You

29th December 2014:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review, round two!

Aw, that was so cute! I really liked this one!

One of the things I particularly liked was your portrayal of Albus. In only a few sentences you showed someone who was used to getting what he wanted, but also someone who was willing to wait for his loved one to be ready, no matter how long it would take. I found that so believable and touching. Impatient Albus may be, but he is not inconsiderate or immature.

I also really liked the way Scorpius had been sitting outside the door, trying to pick up his courage to tell Al he was ready. Again, in only a few sentences you managed to convey Scorpius’s internal turmoil. I really loved how at the end, he held out his hand for Al to take. That moment was so sweet and a great way to end the fic.

Really loved this! Great job!

- Emmi

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Review #14, by marauderfan Waiting on You

28th December 2014:
Hi Erica! Round 2 of Review Hot Seat!

This was so sweet! Even in only 500 words you've accomplished remarkable character development. I really like how you wrote Albus, impatience does seem like a reasonable trait for him to have because of the luxury he grew up with, and the fact that Harry was likely to spoil his children given that Harry was ignored and mistreated by the Dursleys when he was a child.

And the next bit about him being put in a box - yes! That was a great paragraph, and I love the way you contrasted the people trying to get close to Albus for fame, and Scorpius who understands Albus' annoyance of names and definitely isn't looking for any more limelight. I really liked this line: It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them.

In just two paragraphs, you've given so much (implied) background that I feel like I've known these characters much longer than 200 words. Impressive.

Aw! I love that you wrote Scorpius as so hesitant and nervous, as the balance for Albus, as well as being quite an expected reaction for a teenage boy who's struggling with the idea of coming out. But at least they have each other! I am so glad they took that step and are in this together, what a sweet ending and I just have all these happy, hopeful feels.

I'd never have guessed this was your first attempt at slash! Wonderful job, Erica! :)

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Review #15, by wolfgirl17 Waiting on You

10th December 2014:
Naw, this story is sweet. Short and sweet and cute. Nice work on your first attempt at slash here too. I've yet to try it myself, but I think you've done a fantastic job. I like that you had Al so impatient and Scorp so courageous yet so nervous. Very cute story indeed.

xx-Wolfgirl

P.S. I know you said you only want reviews for Hot Seat on your stuff from the past six months, but you're writing is so good that I make no promises not to read and review your older stuff too. ;)

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Review #16, by writeyourheartout Waiting on You

10th December 2014:
Happy Hot Seat Day, Erica! :-D

This was so sweet. I really love your version of Albus. I think you really justified his flaw of almost complete lack of patience with the background information you provided about growing up as Harry Potter's son. Made it completely believable.

The second paragraph really stood out to me. I love what you wrote about Albus having grown up in this suppressing box of a life. That was a really stand out moment and a great comparison as he stares out at the empty classroom before him. And these lines were just fantastic: "He did not care if Albus was a Potter; just as much as Albus did not care that he was a Malfoy. It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them." - I love that! It's such a small moment in such a short little one-shot, but it creates this desire in me to root for these two. I'm not a big Next Gen fan, so I came into this fic and these characters without any sort of pre-determined feelings or expectations, really, but those two lines make me want these two to end up happily together.

I love the way this third paragraph touches back on Albus' main flaw showcased in this story - his impatience - but that it flips it in a way to show how Scorpius would be his exception. It's very sweet. Did I already mention how I'm rooting for them? ^.^

Daw! What a sweet ending! Yayz!

I really love how this story isn't just a short, fluffy one-shot, but that it touches on deeper things, like the delicacy and fear that comes with making the decision to come out. The fact that they get to do it together, though, makes it even better. I like to think that their families - even the Malfoy's - would accept them both without much fuss at all. :)

Oh! And I thought Scorpius as a sweet, shy, insecure character was a really nice choice and not one I've seen before!

Anyway, really sweet story, Erica! And double kudos for your first attempt at slash! Really well done.

Tanya ^.^

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Review #17, by Moonyxluna Waiting on You

9th December 2014:
HUFFLEPUFF HOT SEAT!

I am always in for Scorpius/Albus.

The first paragraph was adorable, and did such a neat job characterizing Albus. I love that you put him into a situation that he can't use his father's name to help him, and how he reacts to that.

And then the fact that both of them can look past their lineage to get closer is super cute :)

This was very sweet in such a short amount of words. Even if Albus is described as impatient, it's sweet of him that he won't go public with their relationship until Scorpius is ready to.

Very cute!

Julie

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Review #18, by mymischiefmanaged Waiting on You

28th August 2014:
Hello! Here from review tag.

I really like this whole concept of Al impatiently waiting for Scorpius to be ready to come out.

It almost reads as heartless at the beginning. He's thinking about himself and the reflecting on what it means to be Harry Potter's son come across as very bitter.

When Scorpius comes on the scene we can see that Al isn't being heartless at all. He's obviously so genuinely happy that Scorpius is ready, and doesn't put any pressure on him at all. We can see that he genuinely cares, and the fact that it is Scorpius who holds out his hand and makes the final decision shows wonderful character development for both boys, which is hugely impressive in such a short chapter.

I really really enjoyed this. You manage to pack a lot into not very many words.

Just a little wording thing - where you've written 'And maybe that was one of the reasons he was attracted to the Slytherin. He did not care if Albus was a Potter...". I think instead of starting the second sentence with 'He' you should use Scorpius's name, as to me it currently reads as if you're still referring to Albus and that makes it confusing.

This is a really great chapter. I'm glad to have come across it :)

Much love,

Emma x

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Review #19, by patronus_charm Waiting on You

12th July 2014:
Hey!

I’ve been looking forward to reading it ever since you mentioned it in our cabin so here I am! I really liked how you started this off with Albus just wanting to be able to accept himself fully and openly and come out with who he was as that was really sweet and kind of powerful as that self-love message isn’t often shown but is so, so important to be there! Ok, all that preluding to Albus/Scorpius was so cute and I almost got my pomp oms out and started cheering them on as I love them so much and you wrote them really well, so when they finally got together you can imagine my reaction! Anyhow, I really loved this and this cute little insight into Albus Potter’s mind!

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review!

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Review #20, by maskedmuggle Waiting on You

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Ahh! I loved this, it was so great! :D I don't seem to read Slash that often (I don't know why, I generally love it) so this was such a joy to read. I definitely ship Albus/Scorpius a lot and I loved your portrayal of them here! This was only 500 words but you gave me such a strong sense of where their relationship was at and how both were feeling about the relationship. I really liked how you depicted Albus' emotions very realistically in that he was understanding of thinking that Scorpius wasn't ready for it, yet also slightly hurt by it. I most liked the ending though - it was just so sweet and had me squeeing :) It was just so heartwarming and really made me smile. :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #21, by Veritaserum27 Waiting on You

10th July 2014:
Hi!

I thought this was a fantastic job - for your first slash attempt AND for the five hundred word challenge! I liked how you focused on Al's feeling about coming out and it wasn't just about their feelings for each other. I don't mind the latter, but I thought your take was new and refreshing. Even with the small appearance of Scorpius at the end, you still managed to portray an entire range of emotions for him as well. He was nervous, but he obviously cares for Albus and he is summoning up the courage (as much as a Slytherin can) to come out with Albus. It was a very nice twist to the end and I liked how they were holding hands. Very nice story!

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #22, by Infinityx Waiting on You

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review

Hi Erica!

This was just so cute and incredibly touching! I love the way you've taken one moment and written it in such a detailed manner, going into what Albus is feeling, instead of having a lot of things happen. You've done a terrific job at characterizing Albus and bringing out what he's feeling. That bit about the room shrinking in size was powerful. I don't know if you intended it to be that way, but I suddenly felt claustrophobic when I read that. This was also such a genuinely heavy moment that you've captured really well. Bringing Scorpius into this and showing that he's nervous, instead of making him miraculously ready for it, added a lot more depth to the scene as well.

Great job at your first attempt!

~Erin

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Review #23, by Ravenclaw333 Waiting on You

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I SAID I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO REVIEW THIS AND EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT I HOPE THE SENTIMENT IS STILL THERE

This is such a cute wee one-shot! You've characterised Albus really nicely here - touching on the pressures he feels because of his family and how Scorpius is a refuge from that. I particularly love the line "It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them," and I think that's a major factor with this ship in particular. The way you dealt with coming out and being ready to do that was really well done and woven nicely in with the romantic aspect - all in all, an excellent first slash story! You should definitely write more :)

Author's Response: The fact that you liked this and felt that I did a good job with it really means a lot to me. And yes the sentiment is still there even though you promised to be first *sigh* just kidding. Yes I appreciated you stopping by and reading and reviewing this! I'm glad that you liked the way that I wrote Albus and that you liked that bit about the complexities of their last names. Its probably one of my favorite bits as well! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #24, by MischiefNotQuiteMannaged Waiting on You

9th July 2014:
You've really captured the character of Albus, and how much pressure he is under being Harry Potter's son. I can feel how slowly time seems to be passing as he waits for Scorpius to arrive.

I can really feel just how much he loves Scorpius and how much it pains him that Scorpius isn't ready to come out with him. Its a really sweet touch how Scorpius was able to get to the classroom, but too afraid to enter.

And the interaction between the two is adorable, how just finally seeing Albus gives Scorp all the courage he needs. And the relief and happiness in both the boys at reaching the decision is so moving.

I'd never have guessed that this is your first attempt at Slash.

Hufflepuff for House Cup!

House Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: This review really makes me happy! I wanted to make it realistic but not having any experience with this topic, I wasn't sure how well I had managed to portray it. I'm glad that you liked the way that I have captured Albus in this story. Thanks so much for stopping by and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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