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Review #1, by asdfghjkl In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

22nd September 2014:
This is super well written and I quite enjoy all the characters! I like that Olivia's starting to see that she does actually have more friends than just the two. I also think the dynamic of Scorpius slowly (and by slowly I mean very very very slowly) opening up to the Wotters. In most stories they're either all best friends or the Weasleys don't like him because of his dad or something like that. I think it's interesting to have him holding the grudge. But it's also sweet that he gets jealous of Olivia's other friends, hopefully hinting he'll make a few more of his own soon. Please keep writing! :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for such a kind review :)

I'm so happy that you're enjoying reading and it's great to hear your thoughts!

I felt like it would definitely be difficult for Scorpius to open up to the Wotters. He can't be unaware of his family's history and feels uncomfortable around Harry's family, making it difficult now that Ollie's getting closer to them.

I've written the next chapter, just need to make a few edits, so should be able to update soon :)

Emma xx


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Review #2, by TumTum In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

21st September 2014:
I liked Rose this chapter although it's hard to get a good grasp of her through Ollie's perspective. I suspect that she is really refreshing to be around and Ollie's observation that Scorpius would get along with her better than her or even Cass was /very/ interesting. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of her.

On the other hand I found Louis a bit much; I got as quickly annoyed by his puppy-ish volubility as Ollie did although I really felt for him when Ollie noticed how dejected he got over Al. It seems like he hasn't really been challenged like this over his behaviour... Ever? Not in a way that he's taken seriously. But we've only just met him so I am trying to reserve judgement. I laughed out loud when Ollie wiped off her mouth after he kissed her as just seemed so classically Ollie it was perfect.

It did strike me that compared to the way Ollie is around Rose or other people where she is a bit detached and observing them, when she is with Al (briefly this chapter) she's just living in the moment and enjoying herself. Maybe I am reading too much into it but their interaction left me with a warm feeling ^_^ I like that she stuck up to Laura Brogan even when she could see her insecurity (how very Slytherin of her).

Scorpius' tantrum was expected and makes sense. Loneliness is awful because all you insecurities come to the surface if you spend too much time /feeling/ alone. It must be especially bad when your girlfriend goes missing with no way of knowing if she is in trouble or just ignoring you because you mean that little to her... right after you tell her that you love her. I felt my heart squeeze for Scorpius this chapter. He does need to learn to open up to people but it's not that easy. I was thinking ahead and if all that Scorpius feels he has going for him is quidditch, Cassie and Ollie and if the next match goes badly things are going to get a lot worse for him before they get better. That's my guess anyway, I'm not asking for spoilers don't worry :)

At this point in your average next-gen fanfiction I would normally be shipping people like crazy but you write that close friendship between Scorpius, Ollie and Cassie so well that my overall feeling from this chapter is rather melancholy. Although Ollie enjoys her time with these new people (if Scorpius is interpreting her glare correctly far more than she would like to admit) and I feel that they will be very good for her, she and Scorpius are really missing their friend. I feel really sad for both of them and I swing between thinking that Cassie is in trouble and thinking that she has been awfully selfish.

It's not a bad thing though! You are writing something different which is what I love about your story - I don't know what to expect and every character feels unique and well thought through.

A few more technical points:

It did strike me when you mentioned that a few weeks had gone by that it might have been worth mentioning the weather. I can't tell if you're from the UK or not (kudos to you if you aren't because it doesn't show up in your writing at all and if you are sorry for spelling out what you already know) but January is the coldest month of the year here. In places like the highlands, you tend to get snow, deep frosts, freezing fog, sleet that blows sideways in the wind, that kind of thing. Or it can be mild it depends. I imagine someone who had been going to weekly quidditch practise and sleeping in a cold dungeon would notice these things. When it gets really cold can Ollie see her breath in the air in the dungeon? It was like that in my house in winter. Anyway it's a good way to show that time has passed and this chapter felt very focused on character observation.

The details you put in about the daily life at school and magic are wonderful: the lessons, the food, Millicent Bullstrode as the nurse (I did not notice at first), Ollie eating with her mouth open (I love that on going joke) and the attitudes that the teachers take like Slughorn schmoozing in the background. That said, this chapter Rose sat down to lunch with Scorpius and Ollie and got up from breakfast.

Also I was wondering about Ollie's drawing. Does she draw frequently at school? I had thought that it was a big part of her life the way she took to drawing in the second chapter. Does she finish many drawings or is it more sketching? Has she ever thought about using magic in her drawings? I would love to hear more about that.

Sorry I feel like this is a very long but rather poor review but I hope it's helpful. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Margie
xx

Author's Response: Hi Margie!

This is such an incredibly thoughtful and helpful review. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your feedback, I really appreciate it.

Rose is lovely. Unlike Cassie, I think she's definitely somebody most people would appreciate as a friend, and she'll be very good for Ollie. She'll be around a lot in future chapters :)

And yes! Ollie's much more content around Al than she is around some people, but obviously hasn't realised this yet herself.

I'm so glad you've understood Scorpius so well. He's really suffering and having a hard time, and although his tantrum's a bit childish and unfair on Ollie I think it's also understandable. I won't give any spoilers, but the next chapter's a Quidditch one :)

Yes! Talking about the weather's such a good suggestion. I am from the UK so should probably have thought about it sooner. I've mentioned more about the cold in the next chapter but will definitely add some descriptions into my edits. It's a really good thing to think about and will help get the time across.

I've been aware I've been somewhat neglecting Ollie's drawing. I keep getting carried away writing her relationships with other characters and it somehow doesn't come up, but you're right - I'll definitely make sure to get a bit more of that in.

The breakfast/lunch mistake was silly of me. I'll fix that :)

Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! Everything you've said has been really helpful and I really enjoy hearing your thoughts on my work. I've written the next chapter so it shouldn't be too long until the next chapter :)

Emma xx


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Review #3, by missclaire17 In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

21st September 2014:
Hello :)
New Reader here!

Obviously, it's not that Olivia can't think for herself but I thinkt hat Cassie has always been so outwardly outspoken about her opinions and never caring about what others think about it that Olivia never bothered to get to know the Gryffindors or hang out with other people till this term. The thing is though, she seems like she actually really does enjoy their company from time to time. Perhaps not as much as with Scorpius and Cassie but I think that there's merit to hanging out with the Gryffindors and other Slytherins.

I think Scorpius's reaction towards the Gryffindor is to be expected; I'm sure that they haven't been the warmest to him and so therefore he isn't going to be all that happy that his best friend is spending all her time with them. Not to mention, the fact that their parents did hate each other at school kind of makes it awkward for them all to be friends. Unlike Olivia though, Scorpius doesn't try to get to know them for his own reasons, however stubborn those reasons are. I think that with Cassie gone, there will be a lot more of a chance for him to try to get to know the Gryffindors, but there's no chance of that ever happening with Cassie there.

The last thing I wanted to say is that I really don't like Cassie. Maybe it's because I am a Gryffindor myself, and I understand that it's hard for Cassie to admit to her feelings and she might very well be in trouble, but I don't like how in previous chapters she couldn't be honest with Scorpius, and I don't like how her presence influenced Scorpius and Olivia so much that without her, life could be a lot different. It's probably not her fault, and I'm sure that we'll see a lot more of her in later chapters and explanations as to everything, but at this moment, I don't think of Cassie as the glue to hold them together. I think of her as someone that Olivia and Scorpius need to learn to live without because neither of them really know how to socialize without her.

Awesome story! Can't wait for your next update!
P.S. I always wanted Oliver Wood and Katie Bell to get married!!

Author's Response: Yay! New reader! That's so exciting :)

You're definitely right about the dynamic between Cassie and Olivia. Cassie's always assumed Olivia takes her opinion on everything, to the extent that Olivia hasn't really formed her own opinions. Without Cassie, she's learning who she really is and is much more open minded than she thought.

Scorpius is in a difficult position with the Gryffindors. He knows about his family's history and that makes it awkward to be around the Potter/Weasley kids. But yes, without Cassie he might be more likely to give them a chance.

Totally fair enough to not like Cassie :) She's not really a very likeable character, and has definitely had a negative effect on her friends.

Thanks so so much for the review! I've written the next chapter so will upload it in the next few days :)

Emma xx


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Review #4, by Bshshah In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

21st September 2014:
I really love it ! You should do a POV from Albus or Scorpius ! Oh and how does Ollie look like ? Rose and Scorpius say she's gorgeous but we don't have a description of her !
Really love it ! Keep up the good work

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying reading.

I don't know if I'll be doing POV switches in this story. I haven't ruled it out but in general I like to stay in one voice for the whole story. But maybe I'll do a one-shot or short story from somebody else's POV :)

For a picture of Ollie, have a look at the top of chapter one. The wonderful loveatfirstview @ TDA has been making me some brilliant images to show what all the characters look like. She's meant to be pretty but not like beautiful (that's more Cassie's realm).

The next chapter should be up soonish. I really appreciate the feedback :)

Emma xx


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Review #5, by Veritaserum27 In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

20th September 2014:
Hi Emma,

Here for another chapter. I thought this one was pretty exciting. I really enjoyed seeing the emotional Al. He totally does not deserve his latest string of bad luck. Above all, his own cousin betraying him - oof. I don't think Al should forgive Louis too quickly. Drunk or not, what he did was atrocious.

Joe has a point about Cassie. Olivia has let Cassie's strong personality lead her own decisions. The Potters and Weasleys don't seem to be too awful (other than Louis, of course).

Now I'm a bit curious about James. Where did he go off to? Knowing James, it could be just about anything.

I have to say, I see your writing has improved with every chapter. Each one seems to be smoother and more polished. The details that you add do not detract from the story, rather they enhance it. I'm really starting to care about all of these guys! I always cared about Ollie and Scorpius, but now I'm in love with Al and Rose and Joe and the whole lot of them.

I also need to comment how great a job you've done giving each character a distinct personality. None of them are flat, and I can see the motivations for each of them. Awesome job!

Beth

Author's Response: Beth!

Wow, thank you so much for all these thoughtful reviews :)

Al very much doesn't deserve his bad luck. It's not self inflicted at all, and he's been mistreated by people he cares about. He definitely won't be forgiving Louis very easily.

James...well, more on that later :)

Gahh your comments are such compliments! Thank you thank you. I'm so glad you think the chapters are getting better. I'm really enjoying writing this and it's so satisfying to hear that people are enjoying reading too. I really love a lot of these characters and it's great to hear everyone else's thoughts on them.

Thanks for taking the time to review!

Emma xx


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Review #6, by Gabriella Hunter In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

20th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with you review and you know what time it is! Dance time, of course so show me your moves! You wouldn't want to see me dance though. It's painful.

Anyway, on to this! I am really impressed by how well you handled all of the emotions in this chapter and I think your characters really showed some great depth. I've been waiting for a moment like this and you didn't disappoint me at all! I think that I really enjoyed the last half of this chapter the most because of Scor's emotional breakdown (Well, can I really call it that? It was a new side of him to be sure) but the beginning of this chapter hinted at how things had changed. Cassie's been gone for weeks? I wonder what's going on with her! I really think that something wrong has happened, no one else has even heard from her. Hm...

I like that Ollie is actually getting along with Al and Rose a bit more. It's obvious that she's not very comfortable with how they keep invading her space but she's actually able to admit that they're not so bad--her thoughts on Rose in particular were very interesting. It's hard to write a character who can easily see the flaws in other people so well but still find something good about them. Louis's entire scene was hilarious to read and a bit annoying on the other, he's awfully pushy, isn't he? And apparently he has googly eyes. I'm not going to be able to picture him any differently. Hahahah.

I feel bad for Louis on one hand but on the other I can understand why Al is still upset. I hope they'll be able to make up someday but I don't think it's going to be anytime soon but I thought that Laura had a lot of nerve. I like that Ollie made up such a bold lie though about her and Al but I have a feeling that it's going to backfire at some point. Al didn't seem too upset by it and his laughing through Potions was really great, I hope that he'll be over his anger soon. :D

Now, Scor's loneliness was very well-written and I liked that Ollie was able to recognize how alone he really was without her. I was able to get a clearer understanding of his character and he seemed really fleshed out. It was emotional but I can see where he was coming from but I'm not sure if things will be resolved quite so easily after this. It feels like things are changing quite a bit without Cassie and I'm not sure if Ollie is able to cope, judging by how this chapter ended. :(

Another good chapter and I hope you stop by again whenever chapter ten is up! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Ollie's kind of making friends against her will at the moment, which is quite good fun to write. She's used to seeing the worst in people and is reluctant to change that and let new people in. Thank you for liking Louis! He's definitely annoying but hopefully has redeeming features as well.

I've been getting some very mixed opinions about Scor's loneliness. A lot of people seem to think he's whining too much and being stroppy, but I'm glad you understand him. He's having a hard time and needs Ollie a lot more than she's realised.

And Ollie's definitely starting to struggle more.

Thank you so much for the review! Chapter ten will hopefully be up quite soon, I'm just editing it now :)

Emma xx


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Review #7, by Veritaserum27 In Which Slughorn Makes A Choice

20th September 2014:
Hi Emma,

Here for another chapter. This was great. I love the way that Ollie is subtlety starting to empathize with Albus. You did a fantastic job with this. I like how you didn't state it outright, but instead gave us little hints at how she noticed his face looked and his actions (shaking hands, raised voice). At the same time, she still harbors some ill-will because Albus is obviously favored by Slughorn.

I also love how we are learning more and more about Cassie's character, even though she isn't in the last two chapters. I think a lot of her personality traits are because she feels abandoned by her parents - or maybe her parents were just too horrible to live with and that is why she's with her brother.

Ok. So now I'm really starting to worry about Cassie. I hope at least Andreas knows where she is. I also noticed the hint you dropped with the empty wrapper of the fake cigarettes. Nice job with that.

I caught one typo in this line:

I was surprised. I hadn't expected him to bother sticking up for him.

I think you mean the last word to be "me" not "him."

What's this? Ollie a prefect? Well, this should prove to be interesting...

Beth

Author's Response: Hello again :)

I'm glad you pointed out how Ollie's starting to empathise with Albus. I think she's getting sucked into caring about him without really realising. But she's convinced he's not the type of person she likes spending time with.

Cassie's a difficult character, and although her family situation probably does explain some of her behaviour I think a lot of it still isn't really acceptable. But Ollie and Scor adore her.

More on her disappearance in the next few chapters :)

Oo, thanks for pointing out the typo. I'll come back and edit that asap.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Emma xx


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Review #8, by Veritaserum27 In Which Cassie Misses The Train

20th September 2014:
Hi Emma,

I'm long overdue with this review as you've been so kind at giving my story lots of reviews!

I really love your version of Scorpius. He is so obviously in love with Cassie and seriously loyal to Ollie. You can tell that he is also a true Slytherin, but he will defend those he cares about - against those nasty Gryffindors - haha.

"I slept with Potter." You really got me on that one - especially after reading the chapter summary - I was like WHAT??!! Good one.

Even though Scorpius and Ollie aren't too worried about Cassie (maybe Ollie a little more so), I am. I mean, what is going on? I already told you my suspicions, and Cassie does seem like the type of girl who would deal with her problems a little differently than confiding in her friends, but I wish she would at least find some way to communicate with them.

Clara is really annoying. I know you wrote her that way intentionally, but I mean she's really annoying.

I didn't think this chapter was awkward at all. I think you needed it to establish the relationships between the main characters.

On to the next!

Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth! Thank you so much for coming back :)

I really love Scorpius. He's based on a lot of people I love in real life so I'm always happy when people like him. He's definitely a very loyal friend.

Haha, sorry about the chapter summary...potentially misleading.

And Clara is annoying, but hopefully bearable. She just has some growing up to do I think.

Thanks so much for the lovely review!

Emma xx


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Review #9, by Ribbons In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

20th September 2014:
SCORPIUS MALFOY YOU COW HOW COULD YOU HURT OLLIE?

I'm sorry, whatever pity I should have for Scorp has been completely eradicated by his ridiculous habits of being a moron and sulking like a small child. He's about to graduate from Hogwarts from goodness sake!

Moving right along because that particular point makes me want to scream/pull my hair out/attack several lampshades.

You're doing, as usual, beautifully, and I absolutely love reading your stuff because it's so wonderfully vibrant and ALIVE with characters and humor. My favorite part was when Olivia told Laura that she and Al were sleeping together and Louis was laughing hysterically in the background. That'll get her into that friend group no problem, right?

Back to Scorp. How can he be so stupid and possessive? I understand that she hasn't been spending a lot of time with him, but seriously. Can he not grow up and realize that there's more to life and friendships than complete dedication and control?

AH!

I read chapter 8 too and thought that the interaction between Al and Ollie, despite being cute and lovable, was a bit out of character for them? A little too much too fast? I don't know. It's really up to you. What do you think?

That's all that I can come up with for now, but I want you to know that you've been nominated by several people for best dialogue in the Dobbys, so you should be very proud.

Much, much, much love,

Alena

Author's Response: Alena! It's so good to have you back :)

Oo, you're not going easy on Scor at all. He's definitely being a bit of a pain, but I think it's probably forgivable. His girlfriend's missing and he's lonely and struggling. But yes, he's not being fair to Ollie at all.

I'm really happy you're still enjoying reading. Olivia's not very bothered about being friends with the Gryffindors, but you're right that she's definitely somebody they'd like to be friends with.

I don't think Scorp's trying to be possessive. He's just more dependent on Ollie at the moment than she is on him. But more of that in the next few chapters...

Noo I'm so sorry that you felt like they were out of character last chapter. That's not what I wanted at all! I think Al's just a really friendly guy and doesn't acknowledge Ollie's attempts to distance him. And she was in the hospital wing so couldn't exactly run away.

I saw you seconded the robby nomination! Thank you so so much!!

I always really appreciate your lovely reviews :)

Lots of love,

Emma xx


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Review #10, by crestwood In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

20th September 2014:
I was almost going to sleep now but then I decided that reviewing apparently is a lot more important to me. (??) I just have to tell you my thoughts about this chapter! First, off the title is great. Scorpius is a bit moody, isn't he? Although, his girlfriend is missing.. that may be a factor.

I am all for Rose becoming a more important character to this story. ALL FOR IT. She is just so nice and approachable and everyone should love her. Funny how she calls Olivia Liv. That seems like a symbolic way to separate her from Scorpius and Cass. And she told Laura Brogan that Al finds Ollie prettier than her!! That's so funny. She seems really protective of her family.

I like the idea that Scorpius would like Rose if he stopped disliking her on principle, (and not just because I'm a Scorose shipper) I feel like these guys dislike a lot of people that they could potentially be friends with if they gave them a real chance.

Louis seems really manipulative and deeply flawed from what I can see here. And this is only his first sober appearance of the story. But, that said, he doesn't seem all too malicious per se.
Wow, Louis is really, really touchy. Luckily Rose is there to stop him from talking and be reasonable.

I love how Ollie decided to get Laura off her back! What a snarky takedown. She's probably going to be angry beyond belief after that one. Al's uncontrollable laughter was basically my reaction.
I actually completely understand Scorpius' point about how much time Ollie has been making for him. It's been a lot less than he's used to and this is all without Cass. I think she's right in thinking that he's been alone most of the times that she isn't with him. He doesn't seem to have all that many friends and I can understand why, coming from his family. He's certainly not interested in Weasleys, possibly out of guilt. He's bound to know some of the things that happened in the war, even things that happened in Malfoy manor itself. I mean, Rose's mother was tortured in his home and I don't think that's something totally easy to just forget.

So, Scorpius is being a moody cow, but I see where he's coming from. Ollie is very right to tell Cass that they need her.

Another excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Joey! Sorry for keeping you up!

I was actually unsure about the chapter title, so you've reassured me :) Some of my titles seem really straightforward but others, like this one, don't quite feel natural when I'm writing.

The Ollie/Liv thing kind of happened by accident but now I'm enjoying using it. I like separating the Slytherin friends from the Gryffindors like that.

Rose is one of my favourites. She's one of the characters in this I feel confident I'd really like in real life.

It's really interesting to hear your thoughts on Louis. I don't know that I necessarily meant him to seem manipulative but now that you've mentioned it I can see how he is. Like everyone, I think he's just too focussed on his own problems to notice how easy it is to hurt somebody else.

And I'm glad you think Scorpius is reasonable to be upset. I didn't want him to seem like he was being too difficult, but he's hurting at the moment and that's definitely affecting his behaviour. The Weasley situation can't be easy for him, and obviously he's really missing Cassie.

Thank you so much for reviewing again! I'm really really happy that you're enjoying reading :)

Emma xx


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Review #11, by True Author In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

20th September 2014:
Hi there! :)

I must say that you have a very interesting first chapter here. It doesn't give the reader a much clear idea about what the main plot's about or anything like that. You simply introduce the narrator and her family problems. I really liked that. It's made me very curious about what will happen next! And the way you connected it all to Christmas was a nice touch.

Whoa, who would've thought her mother was no one but Pansy Parkinson? :O I was very surprised to read that she was Pansy. But I think it all makes sense. I can imagine her marrying someone else and not really getting over Draco. I also imagine Draco not marrying her by the way. :) It's all believable! That's really great. :)

So is there going to be something between Scorpius and Olivia? I can't tell. But I'd like to have some romance in here. And I also hope Olivia and her cousin would get along well with each other. That girl sure deserves some happiness! I hope you give loads to her!

Great story! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

It's really great to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it and it caught your interest.

Pansy Parkinson's definitely still hung up on Draco, but I think it was obvious they never would have ended up together. I don't think Draco would have wanted to base his life around the choices he made in school.

There's definitely not something between Scorpius and Olivia, other than intense friendship. But there will be romance later :) (when we meet Al Potter) and Olivia's relationship with her cousin definitely changes too.

Thanks for the swap!

Emma xx


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Review #12, by Roisin In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

20th September 2014:
Hello!

First off, I think Scor's reaction to the Wotter's was really realistic. I mean, even if Harry and Draco are tepidly OK with one another, there's a whole lot of history between those families. You mentioned that Draco was honest with his son, so Scorpius must know that his dad was complicit in torturing Rose's mom--so it's reasonable that he'd feel weird around them.

I also really like that Olivie/Albus isn't like a "banter-banter-we-hate-eachother" thing. I've read a lot of stories like that, and while they can be really good, it's nice seeing another approach as well.

I still feel like I don't really have the hang of Louis, but that's ok for this stage in the story. Since we have everything filtered from Olivia's POV, no character can be totally clear so soon, especially if she doesn't really know him yet. I get the sense that he's a bit young and foolish, slightly vain, probably dealing with some personal stuff, but not entirely a Bad Guy.

I loved the line about Lou and Laura bonding over big eyes, too! And Olivia's method of annoying Laura!

I also really like the device of "Liv" vs. "Ollie"--and commend you both because it's clever, and not overplayed or heavy-handed.

I can't wait for more info, or at least speculation, about Cassie, and for the next chapter in general!

OH, and I may-or-may-not be shipping ScoRose ;) So far, I've really liked Rose's characterization. Her offhand little comments about telling Laura that Al thinks Liv is prettier forcibly reminded me of Hermione telling Harry to tell Cho that he found Hermione ugly. The one thing that I often think goes missing in Hermione characterizations, is that she's actually a rather keen social observer, it's just that she isn't fussed what people think of her (which is radically different from lacking self-awareness). Since it's a rather understated quality in FF, I enjoy seeing it show up in Rose!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Roisin!

You always point things out about my chapters that I don't think I even realised when I was writing them, and it makes your reviews SO GOOD to receive.

So the point about Scorpius knowing Draco would have been there when Hermione was tortured - I hadn't properly thought about that, but it would DEFINITELY be part of why Scorpius feels so uncomfortable around the Weasleys. His parents have been pretty honest with him about their past, and it would obviously be hard for him to get past that.

I really didn't want Olivia and Al to hate eachother. I just don't think it would be convincing, and (contrary to fanfiction cliches) I think it's very unusual for people to go from hating each other to falling in love.

Glad to hear you don't think Louis' a bad guy :) Olivia doesn't know him well enough yet to give an accurate representation of who he is, but I didn't want him to seem horrible. He just has some pretty significant flaws.

And THANK YOU for picking up on the Liv/Ollie device. I'm quite enjoying that one :)

The point about Hermione being a keen social observer is another one I hadn't properly thought about, but now you've pointed it out it makes a lot of sense and fits in very well with my Rose, so thank you for bringing it up! Rose is definitely observant about the people around her, and in a more objective way than Olivia.

Thank you for the review! As always, it's made me think and has been really helpful!

Emma xx


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Review #13, by crestwood In Which Questions Are Asked

20th September 2014:
Hey Emma!

This is really one of the most realistic portrayals of how Slytherins think. I was surprised to see that you yourself aren't one.
I love the letters that Ollie is sending to Cassie. She's doing a good job of not being a concerned friend without being too overbearing, but at this point I'd totally be freaking out. I think that's to come though. I really do wonder where Cass is off to. I hope beyond anything that nothing terrible happened to her. I can hardly imagine what that'd do to Scorpius.

It was hilarious in a dark way that Ollie knew her mother would suggest weight loss potions. I'm not entirely sure, but most times people write them, they're especially dangerous if not monitored perfectly and it just seems irresponsible of her mother to constantly pressure Ollie in that way. Luckily, she ignores most things her mother says.

I wonder what her dad wants to talk to her about. I absolutely love the little detail about Draco wanting to make sure to tell Scorpius that he loves him in all of his letter because Lucius wouldn't have done the same for him. This version of Draco is pretty much exactly how I like to imagine him.

Neville's conversation with Al melts my heart. Godfather is a huge deal in the Wizarding world, I think even more than in our world and it's so perfect that Harry gave that to Neville.
I'm tempted to agree with Al about Louis. He probably shouldn't continue drinking if it's ruining the lives of everyone around him. I'm not sure if he's even attempting to or not, but it doesn't sound like he is.

The Law Enforcement people didn't really handle that tactfully. They certainly were framing Ollie as a liar trying to cover up for her Cass. I don't think that is how they should have approached the situation.

I was panicking just as much as Neville when Ollie got bit by the Venomous Tentacula, I thought she'd be more badly injured than she is even. I found it interesting that you made Millicent Bulstrode the school nurse. I often forget all about her.

Scorpius seems really jealous of Al in my opinion. The way he walks in on him laughing with Ollie and nearly has a conniption. Of course, that's understandable considering how much time Ollie has been spending with him.

Again you give us a wonderful piece of Scorpius' backstory when you tell us why he's scared of Magical Law Enforcement. That just made so much sense to me. Excellent way to give us a little bit of insight into his childhood.

This is really, really great. I've long since been a fan, but just know that I'm still completely drawn in and allured by these characters you've created. You're doing a great job with this and this chapter is amazing!

Author's Response: Joey! You're back!

Maybe I should be a Slytherin...I've wondered this a few times while writing 'Complicated'. Although I'm having a lot of fun writing the Gryffindors too.

Olivia's definitely a bit more worried about Cass than she realises, but you're right that she's dealing with it pretty well compared to how most of us would.

And general opinion is that Pansy is a terrible mother. I 100% agree with this. If Ollie didn't have Scor being so supportive her mother's words might really hurt her, and that's just not okay.

I'm glad you liked the Scorpius back story! I enjoyed putting in these bits about growing up with Draco. I think Draco definitely would have softened and grown as a person after war, and I'm trying to show that through his son.

Neville would be a fantastic godfather. You're right about Godfather seeming to be a bigger deal in the wizarding world. I hadn't really thought about that but it's very true. I think Harry would have wanted to recognise Neville's friendship, and Ron would have been James's godfather already.

Scorpius is definitely struggling with some jealousy. He's lonely without Cass and he's struggling with the idea of Ollie having other friends.

Thank you so much for the review!! All your feedback is so so kind and it really means a lot that you've taken the time to read and review :)

Emma xxx


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Review #14, by Irishseeker In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

20th September 2014:
I love love love this story. I love all the characters and how you make them, plus Olivia is such a good protagonist. It's killing me to find out the whole their best friend/girlfried has gone missing situation but I love it and can't wait to see what happens.
I do like Louis he's quite funny and a good personality but also he has some flaws which is always important when making a character, like his drinking problem, so go you. He's always been a favorite Next Gen character of mine.
Scor's reaction to the Gryffindors makes sense and is completely understandable. Also quite amusing. I feel as if Scorpius is just way too good for Scorpius and after seeing Rose more in dept in this chapter, I really really like her. I'm shipping Scorpius/Rose at the moment and I think that would be interesting. They clash but they work, plus it would probably really confuse Scorpius but also help his and Olivia's relationship if something happened between him and Rose but I guess I'll have to see!
Brilliant writing as usual and can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm REALLY happy to hear you're enjoying the story! I'm having a great time writing it and it's always good to get feedback :)

Louis's often one of my favourites in next gen. I think I've maybe made him a bit too flawed here, but I'm glad you like him. He's a lot of fun to write and I really enjoy his dynamic with Olivia.

And ScoRose...no spoilers :) But it would be really interesting...

Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to review! And for being so unbelievably kind in your review!

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #15, by Ribbons In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

19th September 2014:
OH my goodness darling! You fantastic person you!

So, I realize that I'm behind in my promises to review everything that comes out of your keyboard when it's hot off the press, and I apologize.

Your characters are as rich and dynamic as ever and you're handling the new problems presented in the story with a wonderful amount of grace. You're really creating a masterpiece, you know that? I have such faith in your writing that I'm not pushing myself to read, I'm galloping through your work and begging for more at the end.

Good thing you have two more chapters up I haven't read.

Your main character, Olivia, still seems very in character and enjoyable. She has faults and eccentricities, but it's not a cutesy goofy clumsy type thing going on, so that's AWESOME! I love that you brought out a little more of a leader in her when she had to break up Al and Lou.

Another thing that I ADORE is how the lack of Cass is turning her into a bit of a larger-than-life presence looming behind Liv and making her doubt herself and the people she spends time with. The new found respect for the Wotters (love the phrase)? Lovely, but what would CASSIE think?

The light tension that you've been building is starting to creep under the skin of your story and I absolutely love it. Like a fishing line drawing me in.

I cannot wait for the next chapter and am hoping that there will be more Alivia, because their chemistry is wonderful.

Much, much, much love,

Alena

Author's Response: Alena! You're back!! And your review is SO LOVELY I can't quite get over it.

I'm really happy to heart you're still enjoying Olivia. I'm loving writing her and am starting to feel like I understand her more so it's always good to hear other people like her.

And YES, with Cassie gone Olivia's developing into a better person, which is really interesting to write. I'm sure Cass wouldn't approve.

There is quite a bit more Alivia in the next chapter :)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY LOVELY COMMENTS.

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #16, by EeshaPotter In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

19th September 2014:
AWWWHHH !!! SCORPIUS !!!

Author's Response: haha, he's definitely one of my favourites :)

Thanks for the review!

Emma xx


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Review #17, by CambAngst In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

19th September 2014:
Hi, Emma! I was excited to see your post from the Chapter Updates thread. I've been looking forward to this!

Before I hit on the major events of this chapter, I wanted to say that I really enjoyed the tone. The last few haven't featured as much of Olivia's snarky, irreverent inner monologue and as I was reading this chapter I realized how much I'd missed it. She really is a joy to read when she's in her element, people watching and commentating on them.

Rose seems to be doing as much to draw Olivia into the Weasley fold as Albus. She has that kind of personality in this story. She's forceful without being overbearing. She's hard to resist. And it definitely helps that Rose and Olivia are bonding over their mutual dislike of Laura Brogan. Seems like the basis of a beautiful friendship. ;)

Before I forget it, I think Scorpius is trying to cover something up with this oh-so-strong dislike of Rose Weasley that he's been vocalizing. A bit of attraction battling with guilt over his missing girlfriend, perhaps?

Louis amuses me. You write him in a way that's similar to how a lot of authors write James: flighty, self-absorbed and mostly coasting through life on the strength of his good looks. He's charming, but also pathetic in a way.

She has a strange quality of feeling guilty whenever somebody else is upset, despite it having nothing to do with her. It's like she's the polar opposite of Cassie. -- Well at least the contrast isn't lost on Olivia.

It was the dancing to prove that you’re sorry that was confusing me. -- I have to say, I'm in Olivia's camp on this one. That confuses me, too.

Laura Brogan seems to exude waves of non-likeability that sort of roll off of my computer screen as I read this. There's an intense and purposeful type of fakeness there. A complete disdain for the intelligence of others. I've known people like her. Now, more than ever, I think I'd like to see someone hit her with one of those hexes that leaves boils all over her face.

I looked straight into Laura’s huge blue eyes. Maybe her and Louis bonded over eye size. -- Favorite line of the entire chapter right there! Gold!

OK, I have to admit that what Olivia does to Laura might be even better than covering her face with boils. Olivia hits her right in the self esteem.

Part of me feels badly for Scorpius and part of me wants to tell him to buck up and stop being so whiny. I get that he probably spent a lot of his childhood suffering in isolation because of his family and I get that he's generally upset about Cassie, but still. He's taking it out on the wrong person and it's ultimately going to drive Olivia farther from him, not bring her closer. There, I'm done lecturing your fictional character now.

Awesome chapter. Like I said, this one felt really fresh and fun and very enjoyable to read. Til next time!

Author's Response: Hi Dan! Wow, thank you SO MUCH for this review! And thanks for being so quick to get to this chapter!!

Olivia's people watching's really fun to write. I've been really enjoying using her voice, especially in this chapter, and I'm glad you still like her :) I think this chapter's got a little bit less drama than the last one so there's more opportunity for her thoughts to come through.

Rose is great. I'd like Rose as a friend, but she's not the type of person Olivia would usually see as a friend. I'm not sure what Scorpius's thoughts on Rose are right now, but it's always interesting to hear what you're thinking :)

Yes! I hadn't noticed how similiar Louis is to how lots of people write James. I guess I figured his veela genes combined with being the only boy and the youngest in his family would have this effect on him. James is a bit more toned down because he had Harry as an influence and has a brother who's close in age. But that's such a good observation! Maybe I've picked up some influences I hadn't noticed.

Olivia definitely understands Cassie's nature, she just doesn't recognise what's wrong with it. But she can see her friend accurately enough to recognise how Rose differs to Cass.

Laura's difficult and definitely not likeable, but I hope she's not coming across as too much of a cliche because (like everyone) she does have her own story that might go some way towards explaining (but not justifying) her actions. There'll be more of her later anyway.

And Olivia doesn't hold much respect for other people's self esteem, especially not somebody like Laura who seems to have too much confidence to start with.

Scorpius is difficult to figure out. I totally agree with you. I can't decide whether he's justified in being upset or not, and he definitely shouldn't be taking it out on Ollie. But it's important not to forget that his girlfriend's currently MIA so that's going to be weighing down on him.

THANK YOU! I really really appreciate all your wonderful reviews. I'll be back to 'Detox' really really soon (I may have read a few chapters without reviewing because I didn't want to stop reading, but I'll be reviewing those too...promise).

Emma xxx


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Review #18, by Gabriella Hunter In Which Questions Are Asked

19th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and it's really good to be back. I'm glad to be stopping by again since that last chapter had me really anxious.

I liked that you started this chapter out with Ollie's letter, it was a good piece of foreshadowing that hinted at the MLE later on. It also made me a bit nervous, I cant' help but wonder what sort of trouble Cassie is in but I think that Scor was right when he pointed out how much she might like the thought of them worrying about her. It feels a bit cruel to me though, especially when she hasn't even replied back and it's been more than a few days. I'm wondering if she got roped in with the wrong crowd or is just thinking about dropping out of school? I'd like to know what James thinks about this, I swear that he might know and I think I'm going to have to keep my eye on him. It was also clever of you not to have him in this chapter, perhaps that was meant to throw us all off? Hm...

I really like that Ollie and Al are getting closer though. There's a bit of friendship developing between them and I was really interested by Ollie admitting to some degree that he and his family weren't that bad. The scene in Herbology sort of put things into perspective for her a little and I wonder how that will play out later in the story. Now, I was worried sick when she got called into McGonagall's office and I thought that she was going to find out that Cass had been killed or had done something illegal. I think that there's more going on though that wasn't said, I feel like Clementine was holding back on some important information but maybe that's just me.

The best thing about this chapter was the moment that Ollie had with Al. I think that it really made their relationship grow more and while she did get poisoned, it turned into a much more pleasant day than it began. Al is the sweetest person in the world, I think and I loved that he was so supportive of her even though they weren't the closest of friends. I think that there's potential for so much more there!

Scor's fear of the MLE was nicely written too and it makes a lot of sense. It made him feel a lot more genuine to me and by the end, I was curious on how that would play out for them both later on. I'm thinking that this isn't the last time they'll encounter those two.

So, great chapter and no major CCs that I could spot!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

I'm really glad you liked the letter at the beginning of the chapter. Olivia's definitely starting to worry more and it seems she's right to do so. Aspects of Cassie definitely are cruel, but that's not necessarily what's caused her disappearance.

Ollie and Al's friendship is developing, which is a good thing while Ollie's struggling with Cassie's absence. The scene in McGonagall's office was supposed to highlight how much Olivia's struggling, because it might not always be obvious through her voice.

And THANK YOU for liking the moment with Al. It's been one of my favourite things to write so far and he's definitely a sweetie. There should be more of that coming :)

Thanks SO MUCH for the review. I really appreciate it.

Emma xx


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Review #19, by slytherinchica08 In Which Draco Malfoy Makes A Joke

19th September 2014:
Another interesting chapter! I really liked this chapter as it gave a wonderful look into her relationships with her friends. It was really cute to see and I loved the dynamic of their friendship. Cassie seems to be the one that's a little more outgoing and willing to do anything and then there is Scorpius who is busy doting on Cassie but yet very much his own person.

The bit with Draco was probably my favorite bit of this chapter. It was really refreshing to show this side of him. A side where yes he had done some things in his past that maybe weren't the best but yet he was a changed man now, one who still chuckled at his childish antics. Also the fact that he admitted to receiving letters from Pansy, some of which were rather heated, was a nice little addition as well.

I feel bad that Olivia has to go back home and deal with her mother, as its pretty obvious that her mother knows nothing about her and that they don't get on very well. Altogether I thought that this was a wonderful chapter and I really look forward to reading the next and seeing how Albus is going to play into everything!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review :)

Cassie's definitely more outgoing than the others, but that's not to say they're shy. And I'm really glad you think Scorpius is still his own person despite how much attention he pays Cassie. I was aware that was a balance I had to be careful to get right.

Thank you so much for liking Draco! I really enjoyed writing him and definitely think he'd have changed and grown up since school, but I'm always a bit anxious that he might seem out of character.

I really appreciate the reviews and I'm so glad you're enjoying reading!

Emma xx


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Review #20, by CambAngst In Which Questions Are Asked

18th September 2014:
Hi, Emma!

I like the change in tone in Olivia's letter to Cassie. She's still a little "too cool for school" and she's trying hard not to sound too worried, but she's obviously worried.

"I, well, I can't think that she's not able to reply, so let’s say she's capable. If she hasn't done it already it's because she's bored of us or whatever. She'll be enjoying the idea of us worrying and thinking about her, and she'll think it's mildly entertaining that she's caused a fuss, but she won't care enough to contact us." -- Wow. Coming from Scorpius, that's a pretty strongly worded condemnation. I'm sure part of it is because he feels hurt. His girlfriend has gone completely incommunicado on him. He's probably also a lot more worried than he's willing to let on. But there's also an edge of bitterness to the statement that I assume goes back to the night at the club when he tried to tell her that he loved her. Poor boy is all twisted in knots.

Interesting that her dad needs to speak with her about something. Apparently something he wasn't comfortable putting in a letter. He doesn't seem like the type to do things face-to-face when he could just send an owl.

Venemous Tentacula. Another facet of that grand Hogwarts tradition of surrounding young witches and wizards with things that could seriously injure or kill them. I understand Neville's affinity for them, though, considering how much they helped out during the battle against the Death Eaters. I really like the way you've written Neville, by the way. He wants to help Al, but he makes the situation more awkward, in a way, calling even more attention to Al.

Rose is trying to mend fences within the family. She's got a good heart. I assume Al will forgive Louis eventually, but it's nice to see Rose trying to help the process along.

The two Ministry witches had a vague Dolores Umbridge feel about them. Not that they were evil, but they were cloyingly friendly with an obvious underlying agenda. Some of that, I'm sure, is just Olivia's perception. Nevertheless, I'm sure she was thrilled to get out of McGonagall's office. When Joe asks her about Cassie, I was struck by how dismissing Olivia is. Kids this age struggle so much to deal with conflicting emotions. It's pretty obvious that Olivia is worried sick about Cassie, but she also feels as though she has to defend Cassie, in a way, by acting as though this is all some grand joke Cassie is playing on the world.

Ha! I'm not sure how I feel about Millicent Bulstrode agreeing with me on the topic of dangerous plants. I have conflicting emotions of my own. ;)

Wow, I love the way you set up and delivered this moment for Olivia and Al. Walls are tumbling down, yes they are...

Ooh, looks like Scorpius is the jealous type. Which is a little weird, considering, but I guess he's also under a lot of strain and feeling kind of put out at the moment. At least he comes back to his senses quickly. Olivia might have hurt him.

Wow, Olivia really is rethinking a lot of things. Slytherins aren't known for feeling guilty, and I think the fact that she walked away from Al combined with Scorpius's little dig about the Ministry witch looking like a Weasley is leaving her more than a little conflicted.

I agree with you, this was one of my favorite chapters so far. It's kind of bittersweet, coming to the end of what you have posted. So I'll join the chorus: Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you SO MUCH for all your reviews. They're just wonderful.

Olivia's control is definitely starting to slip, hence the slight change of tone in her letter. I'm enjoying writing her letters. It's a slightly more objective way to show her character than I can get through first person.

And Scor's definitely suffering a bit. I think worry changes people.

THANK YOU FOR LIKING NEVILLE! He's one of the characters I was most worried about because I love him and didn't want to get him wrong, but wanted to show that he's grown up a lot.

The dynamic between Olivia and Al is definitely changing, and so is Olivia. She's definitely conflicted at the moment.

This review made me so happy. Thank you thank you thank you. The next chapter's in the queue :)

Emma xx


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Review #21, by pointless_proclamations In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

17th September 2014:
Dear Emma,

I get to review one of your stories now! And what a story it is!

The first thing I did was dislike Pansy for being such an awful mother before I even knew that was her. Doing that had me sympathise with Olivia more. I like how you made me immediately side with the protagonist. There was very little confusion in deciding where to place my loyalties.

What you've done here is you've taken what I once perceived as the time of the year in which nothing can go wrong and changed it completely. I must admire you for that. The more specific reasons you provided for Olivia to hate Christmas, the more interesting this family appears to me. I am intrigued at this horrible family dynamic.

When Olivia expected nothing less of this year's Christmas and when she didn't care to hide how unhappy she was, I immediately got the picture of what kind of character she is. You are very efficient in the way you reveal the personalities of these characters.

I was amused that she and Jason addressed each other by their last names despite them being cousins, but what a creative way to showcase their relationship. The dialogue is quite spectacular, too. But you have me wondering if they actually do care about each other to some degree, I mean their talking to each other and they smiled at each other. I have so many questions how their behaviour towards each other carries over to Hogwarts.

What is wrong with Pansy, Emma? You have me loathing her more than I've ever loathed her before. Very poor parental skills (on both parents' parts), very wonderfully exhibited.

All in all, a very cohesive chapter that inspires such interest that I can't help but continue reading on.

Cheers,
Em (for Emilie) :D

Author's Response: Hi Em!

Thanks so much for such a thoughtful review. I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this.

Pansy's definitely an awful mother. She's so preoccupied in her own life and the problems she inflicts on herself that she doesn't notice what her daughter needs. Olivia's definitely not lucked out in the parent department.

And thank you for mentioning the scene with Jason :) I really enjoyed writing the two of them together, and you're right that there are aspects about their dynamic that suggest they care more than they try to let on. I'm so glad you liked the dialogue! I've actually been nominated for a dobby for dialogue, which to me seems absolutely crazy, so it's really nice to hear that you like it.

I'm really grateful that you took the time to review. I'll definitely be back to revisit Annett in the near future :)

Emma xx


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Review #22, by CambAngst In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

17th September 2014:
Hi, Emma! I'm ready for another chapter!

Ah, the simple pleasures of exploding snap. It must me amazing to have magic at your beck and call, allowing you to risk second degree burns over a simple game of cards.

One of the things I love about your writing is the way you make use of small touches to give the story that "Hogwarts feel". Wendolyn the Weird was one of those small things that really sets a mood.

Interesting. Now James is missing, too? And he was the one who was searching for Cassie on the train. As I recall, he didn't seem too pleased that Cassie was blowing off the prefect meeting. Perhaps a bit out of character that he would be blowing off this one? I like all of the tangled little threads of mystery running through this story. I feel like there are a lot of hints, possibly more than I'm catching onto.

Molly runs a tight ship. She seems like she'd be a good Head Girl to work for as a prefect. No nonsense, but also fair and organized.

I liked the way that Rose warmed right up to Olivia. All of the prefects seem to be able to put House loyalties aside in order to work together. The school has obviously come a long way since Harry's day. In spite of that, Olivia tries hard not to be friendly to Albus. Denial, not just a river in Egypt. But hot chocolate can fix anything. ;)

Oh.

Wow.

Well, I have to say, I didn't see that coming. Louis? I was half-expecting Al to point at him and scream, "JUDAS!" At the same time Louis is blowing my mind by doing... THAT, Olivia really surprised me by stepping into the breach and keeping things from spiraling into a bad place. That girl has some qualities that don't immediately shine through, especially when she's being overshadowed by stronger personalities like Cassie. In spite of her, um, estrangement from Cassie, Olivia is still really quick to defend her. So far in this chapter, we've seen the courage of a Gryffindor and the loyalty of a Hufflepuff. She's just full of surprises.

You're making Olivia such a deep and likeable character. And my hat is off to you on all the possibilities you've woven into your mystery. This is a really, really good story and I'm excited to see where you take it next!

Author's Response: Hi Dan! Great to hear from you :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed Wendolyn! I always really liked the portraits when reading the books and couldn't resist adding my own.

James definitely should have showed up for the meeting, but I don't think his absence worried anybody too much. And he'll have to answer to Molly now that he's not done his duties.

I think Molly's definitely a good Head Girl. She's a bit more relaxed than her father, and sees it more as a chance to work with the prefects than to simply lead them.

Haha, Al definitely should have called Louis Judas. It would be very appropriate. Louis's got his own problems but has unfortunately reacted to them in a way that hurts somebody he cares about. I think Olivia's taking control would surprise her as well as everyone else, but it's definitely an aspect of her character.

Thanks so much for saying she's likeable! It always makes me so happy when people say they like her.

Always appreciate your feedback :)

Emma xx


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Review #23, by CambAngst In Which Slughorn Makes A Choice

16th September 2014:
I'm back! You could not get rid of me at this point if you tried.

I've never felt closer to Olivia than I did at the start of this chapter. In addition to any other similarities, I also hate running. Passionately. I would not take well to Scorpius's health kick. I did, however, enjoy the mental image of him carrying her around on his shoulder. And stealing his food was pretty good revenge. Just annoying enough to matter.

Anyway, the story goes that the other potential Common Rooms they considered put up a protest and disappeared as soon as they were suggested. The Castle doesn’t like change, so we’re stuck shivering together with the damp and the dark. Cassie says it’s a bonding experience. -- I loved this. Start to finish!

It eventually turned up underneath Cassie’s bed, beside a pair of discarded silver stilettos she’d borrowed from me several months ago and a crumpled packet of fake cigarettes from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. -- Hang on a sec. Am I reading too much into that cigarette pack? Because I could have sworn we didn't see those for the first time until Scorpius and Olivia were hiding inside WWW over the holiday break...

I thought Slughorn was very Slug-like, with his blatant favoritism and glad-handedness toward Albus. Anything to ingratiate himself to the son of the Chosen One. It seemed like things were going swimmingly between Albus and Olivia until Scorpius decided to be, well, Scorpius. That boy needs to let go of the hate. The whole fiasco did give Albus another chance to show Olivia his noble side.

Ooh! So Cassie is completely MIA? That's intriguing. The obvious possibility that pops into my mind is the creepy Flint guy they went to the dance club with. Although he's a friend of Cassie's brother, so I'd think Andreas would figure it out somehow if Creepy Flint was involved. Or maybe I'm being way too quick to jump to nefarious conclusions. Time will tell, I suppose.

Again, you did a good job with the letter. It felt so personal and familiar, especially the way that she expects Cassie to laugh at her for being tapped to take over Cassie's prefect duties.

I'm really enjoying your story! Can't wait to find out what's happened to Cassie!

Author's Response: Hello again! I always get really excited when I see reviews from you :)

I absolutely sympathise with Olivia's hatred of running. I've been trying to work towards a 10k and EVERY SINGLE TIME I feel like I'm going to collapse and maybe die. I just don't know if it's worth it. But yes, Scor carrying Ollie is sweet and food stealing is definitely good enough revenge.

I don't know where the Common Room idea came from but I really enjoyed it so I'm glad you mentioned it :)

As for the cigarettes.it's good to see that you're thinking about everything, but no spoilers. But yes, we saw them for the first time in the break.

I struggled a bit writing Slughorn, because he was the first character I had to work with that we see quite a bit of in canon. I'm glad you found him convincing.

Scorpius should definitely go a bit easier on Al, but Al deals with it well (ish) considering everything.

Thank you so much for another amazing review! I feel like maybe you got a bad deal swapping with me because your reviews are much higher quality than mine, but thank you thank you thank you for all your feedback. I really appreciate it.

Emma x


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Review #24, by CambAngst In Which Cassie Misses The Train

15th September 2014:
Hi, Emma! I've been itching to get back to your story, and I finally have a bit of free time.

Once again, we see poor Olivia slogging her way through a sloppy pit of sticky, squishy awkward with her mother. At least her dad isn't there to make it worse. Her mother's vanity hasn't been a huge theme so far, but it came across strongly in this chapter. No wonder Olivia struggles with relating to others.

So Cassie's not on the train. Interesting development. I'm wondering whether she's just decided to be fashionably late (absent?) or whether there's something more going on. If I'm gauging the passage of time correctly, it's been around a week that she hasn't been on speaking terms with Olivia? Seems like a long time, even for her.

I love the one-sided conversation where Scorpius isn't really paying attention to Olivia. And I really loved what it took to get him to pay attention. Seems like Albus is a bit of a sore spot for him. Is there perhaps more to the animosity than just the obvious reason? But just a bit later, Scorpius actually expressed a bit of sympathy for Albus. He's a complicated character. I have to say that I felt really bad for him when the Zabini girl was mashing all over him. He was trying so hard to make a point and she was completely impervious to it.

I think maybe you should emphasize the fact that Olivia plays Quidditch a bit more. Honestly, sometimes I forget. I did like the conversation, though.

Aww, two out of three of the pictures from Christmas were actually rather sweet. And then there's the third. Probably best not to speak of that one. It's too bad that Olivia doesn't get on better with her cousin. It seems like the two of them could find a small oasis of sanity in their otherwise insane family.

Ha! Scorpius knows just which buttons to push to guilt trip Olivia into running with him. He really does have some insecurities, or at least he plays at it well. All in all, I think you've made him into a very likable, sympathetic character.

The letter to Cassie was really well done. Part snarky, part sweet and kind of vulnerable.

I can understand why you wouldn't have felt completely happy with this chapter. It's one of those chapters that you need in order to move the plot along, even though not a lot actually happens. I did think that you made some really good character development headway with Scorpius. Unfortunately, they can't all be crazy barn-burners. Looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Hiya! Thanks so much for the review. I just finished reading and reviewing your wonderful story so any positive feedback from you really means a lot :)

Pansy's vanity will definitely continue to be a theme so I'm glad you mentioned it. You're right, it does help to explain Olivia's difficulty relating to other people. Especially combined with her father's unfaithfulness.

Cassie's disappearance is definitely supposed to stand out as strange. Given that she's such good friends with Scor and Ollie it's out of character to be out of touch with them both for so long.

And Scorpius has a lot of animosity towards the Potters, regardless of whether or not it's justified. Ollie knows this, obviously, and so knows exactly how to use it against him. I'm glad you said he was a complicated character. He's one of the characters I feel I understand best, and he means a lot to me. Thank you thank you for saying he's likeable and sympathetic.

I'll bear that in mind about the Quidditch. I think it generally gets mentioned a bit most chapters but I could definitely add in a bit more (love writing Quidditch...).

Thanks so much for this review. Since writing this chapter I think I've started to feel a bit better about it, but it definitely feels more fillery than most of the others. All your comments have been really helpful and reassuring.

Emma xx


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Review #25, by Gabriella Hunter In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

15th September 2014:
Hello!

I'm here for our swap, lovely! I had to really get into the groove for this one, I had a feeling that things were going to be really intense and I was not disappointed! It was good to see that Ollie wasn't particularly thrilled about having Prefect duties and she reminded me so much of my Roxanne Weasley just then. Hahahaha. I put that girl through too much but anyway, I feel kind of sorry for Scor, he's going to have a tough time whipping them into shape before their first game.

Ah, so the Prefect meeting itself (Oh, I loved Wendy by the way and I think Joe is great. I noticed there might be a romantic sub-plot happening with Esther and Oz so I'm curious to see how that goes) was very nicely done. I love the little details that you wrote and it was very easy to visualize. I also liked your version of Molly, she's always written as being kind of a bore and its nice to see her with some spunk. I hope we see more of her. I wonder, though, where was James? Who was he snogging?! Why wasn't it me?!

*Ahem*

So, anyway, Albus is such a sweetie. I like that Ollie is having a bit of a connection with him, it wasn't too sudden and it didn't seem too forced. I can tell that she's really hesitant about it but I hope that she lets her guard down a little and Oh, my God! Like...what? Louis though? I didn't expect that at all!! My jaw dropped! I honestly thought it was going to be Jams and Cassie for some reason but what?! Albus had some major control and Ollie was great for allowing the kids to run off instead of, you know, destroying them. Hahahaha. But, what?! I wonder how that's going to work out!

That moment between Ollie and Al was just so perfect though. Something has changed between them and I can't wait to see where it leads.

Joe's got me curious though. I wonder what he really wanted to say about Cassie? Ollie didn't seem really happy about it but I'm curious...I hope you explore that again soon.


Great chapter, truly! I didn't spot any CC's that you should be aware of and your characters, pacing and plot have got me hooked!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Wow, your reviews are always so kind :)

Glad you picked up on Wendy. I'm not exactly sure where she came from but that scene was great fun to write. And I think Molly would definitely have a bit more to her than her father had at that age. She's grown up with all her cousins and would definitely be her own person rather than a carbon copy of Percy.

And Albus is definitely a sweetie. He's so lovely to write, I'm really enjoying him as a character. I'm trying to get a balance between Harry and Ginny and still keep him his own person. I think if someone was ever properly going to get Ollie to be herself, Albus would be that person.

So happy you thought James and Cassie were going to be in the broom cupboard. That would have been a pretty big plot twist but is kind of a great idea. Afraid not, though. We're not going to find out what's happened to Cass for a while yet. And James has his own secrets.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! It's always great to get your feedback.

Emma xx



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