Reading Reviews for Complicated
255 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Chivalrous In Which The Moron Has A Heart

16th April 2015:
"Albus is wonderful.

Jason is wonderful.

Joe is wonderful.

Louis is wonderful.

Rose is wonderful.

Scorpius is wonderful (in a terrible way).

Olivia is wonderful.

Everyone is wonderful.

This story is wonderful.

Posting the next chapter would be wonderful."

A poem by Ireland dedicated to your story. Ha ha!

I loved this chapter!

Post soon!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for such a kind review - I'm so glad you're still enjoying reading! I've been using camp nano to mainly do some work on my other novel here, Victoire, but am working on the next chapter of Complicated and will try to have it up in the next week. It's a big one with lots of Albus/Olivia and lots and lots of drama :)

Thanks for reviewing! Lots of love, Emma xx

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Review #2, by dracodarlingxx In Which The Moron Has A Heart

7th April 2015:
I feel so bad for Scorpius :'(
I get that Ollie's going through a lot, but Scor honestly has no one, whether that's his own fault or not (not? you said earlier he finds it hard to make friends, and with a last name like his, I'd say he's got a valid reason as to why), and as well as having no support, the love of his life is missing, and he's being blamed for it. Anyone would break in that kind of situation. Sure, he's being a prat, but the end of this chapter kind of hinted that he and Ollie would never be friends again and that makes me really sad because even though he's pushing her away, it seems like he really needs a friend right now.
P.S. The adorableness of Oz and Joe is indescribable :)

Author's Response: Aww I'm always so relieved when people are sympathetic towards Scorpius! He's behaving badly but he's got a good heart and he's really suffering at the moment, so I think you're right to feel bad for him.

Oz and Joe are my favourites :)

Thanks for the lovely review!

Lots of love,

Emma xx

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Review #3, by ASDFGHJKL1234 In Which The Moron Has A Heart

3rd April 2015:

Author's Response: haha give it all time :)

(although i'll be honest and say that Scorpius/Rose is one of the aspects of this story I'm not entirely sure about. It may have to wait for a sequel but I'm not completely sure yet)

Thanks for reviewing!

Emma xx

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Review #4, by Unicorn_Charm In Which The Moron Has A Heart

26th March 2015:
Hey Emma!! ♥

Yay new chapter!

I wonder if any of the other Gryffies or Slytherins find it strange that she's basically become an honorary Gryffindor as of late. Hanging out in the common room, eating with them and then eating alone at the Gryffindor table. I really was happy to see "The Moron," Jason come over to check on her. Even though they don't always get along, they are family. He's right there.

“Last year when Dad had that Quidditch accident you flew up to Gryffindor tower and burst in on James in the shower to ask him if I was okay.”

“You have no proof of that.”

“James told me,” Jason grinned.

“He’s an unreliable source. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
:D :D

That is my favorite little exchange with them get haha! Just the thought of her bursting in on James like that had me laughing so hard.

Oh Joe really was way too sweet. I love how he's totally alright with her hanging out with Al and the rest of the Wotters and even thinks that they're good for her. It totally makes sense that Slytherin was not the Hat's first choice for him. He's a good friend to her, too.

Yeah, Scorpius is getting worse and worse. He was totally out of line at practice. At this rate he's going to end up pushing everyone away. It was great of Oz and Joe to stand up for Olivia like that. I almost feel like Scorpius is going to blow at some point, and it's not going to be pretty. Even though he is being kind of horrible, I just want to hug him. He seems like he could really use it. :(

Another great chapter!! Hope to see another update soon!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Meg!

Gahh, your reviews are always so perfect and then I just never know how to reply!

"Honorary Gryffindor" is a good way of putting it. I hadn't really thought about how it would look to the other Slytherins but you're right that it would be strange. I think Joe and Oz are so caught up in each other and in being cheerful that they're probably not too bothered, and Esther and Clara have always been their own pair, but it's definitely an interesting thing to consider.

Yayy thank you for liking Jason! Nobody else has mentioned the exchange about the Quidditch accident - it made me smile writing it . Jason's a bit of a sweetie really and him and Olivia have some more bonding to do.

The hat wanting to put Joe in Hufflepuff is something I've known about his character from the beginning. I'm glad you find it convincing. He's not really got any Slytherin traits at all so I think the hat was just being generous and choosing not to separate him from his sister.

Scorpius is definitely near breaking point, and his behaviour's getting increasingly unacceptable. There'll be more on him in the next few chapters :)

Thanks for such a kind review! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

Emma xx

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Review #5, by merlins beard In Which The Moron Has A Heart

26th March 2015:
This is a really depressing chapter. I like the part where ollie and jason talk to each other. He cares about her and knowing that makes her life better. Ollie is handling herself well, despite of all shr's been through. I really like joe and oz. They are great guys... definitely hufflepuff qualities there. They are so loyal to ollie that they even want to quit the team if she's off it.
I feel like ollie has yet to realize how many great people really care about her. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Okay, last one. First off, I just wanted to properly thank you for taking the time to review all these chapters! It means a lot that you even wanted to keep reading, and then you could easily have read on without stopping to review once we were done with the swap. It's really so kind of you to take the time to leave a review on every chapter, and I appreciate it so much.

Jason and Olivia need to figure out their relationship properly but they're family and I felt like it was about time they started acting like it. I'm glad you liked him here.

And Joe and Oz are my absolute favourites to write :)

I'll try to make sure there isn't too long a gap before the next chapter. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews!

Emma xx

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Review #6, by merlins beard In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

26th March 2015:
Ah, there's the sketchbook again. I like that it's mentioned. Albus is so good for ollie. I already suspected what her parents wanted to tell her, but i didn't expect pansy to approach things the way she did. I should have known. One should never expect pansy to have decent ways of communicating with humans. (This is, of course a completely subjective view and wrong in so many ways, but it is the way i have always seen her).
Its so sad that scorpius is so cold toward ollie, but i completely undertstand his point of view. he desperately needs someone to be there for him and his best friend ran away from him to hang out with her new friends. I would be really hurt as well. I hope he finds someone to talk to soon (or makes up with ollie). I really enjoy the way you write and all the small details you work into your stories.

Author's Response: The sketchbook will turn up again. Its absence has been intentional but I thought I should put in a reminder :)

The way I write Pansy it's definitely fair enough to say she's no good at communicating with humans. She's extremely self centred and it makes her distant to the point of cruel.

And again, I'm so glad you understand where Scorpius is coming from. I think he's in the wrong but is still sympathetic so it's nice that not all my readers are hating him :)

Thanks for another lovely review!

Emma xx

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Review #7, by merlins beard In Which Louis Weasley Dances

26th March 2015:
The end of this chapter is really sweet. I think you captured ollies reaction to louis and albus being friends again perfectly. I'm so glad albus talked to her rationally. There are often stories where all trouble only exists because the lead characters don't talk to each other. It is refreshing to finally read a story where they do. Everything is so luch easier.

Author's Response: Albus is very much one for straight talking rather than refusing to open up to other people, and Ollie's slowly learning. I didn't want them to have lots of conflict because of misunderstandings - I always find it super frustrating when people hate each other because they don't bother talking to find out what's going on.

Thanks for such a thoughtful review, Emma xx

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Review #8, by merlins beard In Which Breakfast is Traumatic

26th March 2015:
I knew scorpius would react badly and i'm glad rose was there to help ollie. I'm still worried about scorpius though. Who is there for him?

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so impressed you've gone through every chapter! Emma xx

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Review #9, by merlins beard In Which Slytherins Speculate

26th March 2015:
Now i slowly start believing that something might have happened to cassie. But it definitely wasn't scorpius. It could nevet be scorpius (I might have a soft spot for the malfoys)...
Its so sweet that albus takes care of ollie when she's falling apart like that, but i kind of worry about Scorpius right now. His girlfriend is missing, he is a suspect in her disappearance, and on top of it all his best friend just literally ran away from him. He must feel like ollie thinks he is guilty, which i'm sure she doesn't.

Author's Response: Albus is lovely, but I'm glad you're thinking about how all this affects Scorpius. He's struggling and Ollie's reaction to his questioning wasn't very supportive.

Thanks again for all these lovely reviews,

Emma xx

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Review #10, by merlins beard In Which Quidditch Is Played

26th March 2015:
Oh my god... Where do i start?
I loved the quidditch match. I feel like they are often a little disappointing in fan fiction because the description is often just too short. You obviously put a lot of effort in to make it just right. and i really love that last goal ollie throws.
I wonder if maybe there is someting going on between slytherins other two chaserd though... will be iinteresting to see how this turns out.

I can't believe they are actually suspecting that scorpius had something to do with cassies disappearance. Is scorpius 17 in this? Otherwise they'd probably need draco and astoria there.
I don't think cassie was abducted,though. I have a feeling she chose to stay away. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: The Quidditch match was one of the bits I was most worried about writing because I totally agree that Quidditch is often not done justice - there's more to come so it's a relief to hear that people think it worked!

Oz and Joe feature lots more in the rest of the story :)

Thanks for the review! Emma xx

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Review #11, by merlins beard In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

26th March 2015:
Ok this is hilarious... Laura definitely gets what she deserves,and I love how louis is really weird all the time. It's good to hear that he stopped drinking, but i'm not sure if it's going to stay that way or not.
I'm really sad that scorpius is so lonely. It really is a little conflicting that Cassie isn't really a good person but she's what keeps them together and they lover despite not being nice.

Author's Response: Haha, more on Laura later, but for now I'm glad you think she deserves this. Keep reading for more on Louis :)

'Conflicting' pretty much sums up Cassie's character here. None of the characters have straightforward relationships with her but her absence doesn't help.

Thanks again for all these lovely reviews!

Emma xx

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Review #12, by merlins beard In Which Questions Are Asked

25th March 2015:
Ha! I knew Scorpius and Olie felt like brother and sister. it's nice to know that they have each other in this chrisis.

I really loved how much detailed thoufht you put into the herbology lesson. I really could relate to the students better that way. Polishing a dangerous plant has to be a daunting task at best. With both albus and ollie distracted with personal problems, it's no wonder something happens. I'm glad albus got ollie ti the hospital wing fast enough. It was really cute how he took care of her.

I can totally understand that scorpius freaks out when he notices that ollie isn't in transfiguration. After all, his girlfriend is missing. He would be overly sensitive to something like that.
I really liked the chapter a lot

Author's Response: I really enjoyed writing the Herbology lesson. My other WIP is about Ravenclaws so I get to do lots more discussion of the various Hogwarts subjects, but here it doesn't come up so often. I'm glad you liked it.

Scorpius is struggling without Cass, and I hope his panic is understandable even if it is unreasonable.

Thanks for the review!

Emma xx

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Review #13, by merlins beard In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

25th March 2015:
I'm seriously getting caught up in this. I loved the moment ollie had with albus during prefect rounds. They are really cute together, even though it's sad to see albus hurt. Louis is acting badly. I wonder if he comes around and stops drinking later on.

Author's Response: Louis isn't one of the main characters in this story, and although I think his story could be explored in much more depth it's never central to the plot here. But he'll be around a lot more in future chapters so you'll definitely have a chance to find out more about him :)

Emma xx

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Review #14, by merlins beard In Which Cassie Misses The Train

25th March 2015:
Oh my... where is cassie. You're evil, you know that? I was going to go to sleep right after reading that xhapter, but now i have to read another one because i just can't wait to find out whats wrong with cassie (but i have a pretty good guess already)

I really like how close ollie and scorpius are in this chapter. They seem to me almost like brother and sister.

Author's Response: Haha sorry for keeping you awake! You're right about the brother/sister dynamic between Ollie and Scor. A few people have reviewed saying they think Ollie might have feelings for Scor but I only ever intended them to be be very close friends. I'm glad you're enjoying reading :)

Emma xx

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Review #15, by Unicorn_Charm In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

25th March 2015:
Hey Emma!! :)

So you apparently have two new chapters since I've last checked! Which is exciting because it gives me more to read!! ♥

I really love the chemistry between Al and Olivia. It's become very natural from them to converse with one another. It almost seems like they've been friends for years and years seeing them together now. It's so sweet that Al gave her his hat! And I bet he wanted to walk so he could spend more time with her. ;) But I do love that he is coming with her to see her mother. I know that it's something that she really doesn't want to do, so it's so sweet that he's going to be there as a sort of moral support. :D

“Course you don’t. You’re a Slytherin. It’s probably not your kind of thing. You know, love. Romance. General cheerfulness.” Hahaha! Love it!

I really do feel so bad for Scorpius. He's lost his girlfriend and now he is pushing his best friend away, because he feels like he's losing her. But he's kind of causing himself losing her. It's, I guess we can say - Complicated. ;) But seriously, I do feel horrible for him. You can just see him slowly going darker and darker. That description of him was very reminiscent of his father during his sixth year. Not a good sign. I hope things turn around for him. :(

Gah! And Al was so sweet about it again!

Wow Daphne was really quite obnoxious. She was almost as bad as Rita Skeeter. I kind of wish that Olivia like smacked her, just to smack her. I kind of wanted to smack her. I can't even imagine how awfully awkward that whole situation was for Al, but he was such a good sport. It was so sweet for him to hold her hand while she was finding out that her father left. I'm dying to know who Liv's father is engaged to, though. And she was totally right. Her mother didn't tell her this news as a concerned mother. It just seems like Pansy likes to make Olivia's life as miserable as possible at every turn. I think she's jealous of her daughter, to be honest. Ugh I really can't stand her.

Awww!! I'm so in love with Al! He brought her down to Honeydukes cellar for chocolate and quiet! How freaking cute is that?! He really does seem genuinely concerned for her and I think that is a big reason why she decided against going on a typical rant about her mother. You can see that she's really starting to care for Al. How could you not though? He's pretty much perfect haha.

Wow. Scorpius really is just so defeated. I don't think it's entirely fair how he's treating her, but I still sort of can't blame him. Olivia is right. She did run away first. Especially with Scorpius having such a hard time. I wish he would just talk to her about it and settle everything. They've been friends to long to just let that go. But he probably does see it as Olivia choosing Albus over him, and that has to hurt.

I might have a possible new theory about Cassie... I'm not sure, so I'm not saying anything right now. Hmm...

Another amazing chapter, Emma! This is absolutely one of my top favorite stories and each chapter just gets better and better. Thanks for doing the swap with me!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Meg! This review! Thank you so much you're wonderful.

Al and Olivia do have a kind of natural comfort with each other - he's a very stable character and it's a big contrast to what she had with Scor and Cassie. I'm glad you're enjoying them.

And I kind of love writing horrible horrible Daphne. She's a complete enabler for Pansy's behaviour. And then Pansy's just always awful.

I'm really glad people can kind of see where Scor's coming from. His behaviour isn't acceptable but I hope it's understandable and doesn't make him unforgivable as a character. He's having a really hard time and doesn't now how to deal with it.

Ooo I desperately want to know your theory...

Thanks for such a kind review!

Emma xx

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Review #16, by CambAngst In Which The Moron Has A Heart

24th March 2015:
Hi, Emma! To my horror, I discovered that gmail had been putting my HPFF updates in the junk folder for the past few days, so I only just learned that you'd updated. Bad gmail! Bad!

Anyway, this chapter was a marvelous mixed bag of Olivia's "new" life and "old" life pulling her emotions in opposite directions. Actually, I guess you could count Joe and Oz as positive elements of her "old" life, but even with them there's the tension revolving around Scorpius.

I sat at the Gryffindor table during mealtimes, clutching Al’s hand under the table when Scor walked past -- So these two haven't admitted that something's going on between them yet, right? Because something is definitely going on between them. Silly teenagers in confusion/denial about their relationships. Gotta love them.

Speculation Time! I still think that you're setting us up for some major drama if Cassie makes her grand return to the story. I foresee Scorpius and Ollie reconciling to some extent and Al and Ollie getting right to the brink of a relationship and then Cassie reappears and demands that things go back to the way they were between her, Ollie and Scorpius. Oh, the tension! Am I right? Am I wrong? I guess we'll find out...

The scene with her cousin Jason was that brilliant mix of endearing and awkward that I've come to relish in this story. Nothing is ever simple with Ollie's relationships because she's not a simple person with a simple life. Did I ever tell you what a great job you did with your story title?

The Quidditch practice was sort of painful. It's always bad when characters you like are in a spat. And the longer it drags on, the harder it becomes to stay sympathetic to Scorpius. Is he going through a tough time, yes. But Joe's absolutely right, he's being a total jerk about it.

I really liked seeing the rest of the team stand up for Ollie. Especially when she wouldn't stand up for herself. The way Scorpius was behaving was ridiculous. I feel terrible for Ollie because she's caught in the middle of something she never asked for and she's trying to deal with her own problems and he's making it even worse. It was sad that she didn't even feel like trying to defend herself, but great to see her friends step up around her.

I really enjoyed this chapter! It had been a while and I missed the story. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan! Haha I think you only missed it by like a day or two so you very much don't need to apologise. Your reviews are always so thoughtful and kind - thank you so much.

The new/old life distinction is a very good description of what's going on at the moment. Olivia's really moved on into something new and I suppose now the question is whether aspects of her old life can be reconciled with her new one (and that's what Scorpius is struggling with).

Yayy thank you for describing Jason's scene as endearing and awkward, that's exactly what I was going for. Jason confuses her because he IS her family and she DOES care, but then they've always had all this conflict - it's definitely a complicated relationship.

And Joe and Oz standing up for Ollie felt natural. I couldn't really imagine them doing anything else. Scorpius's behaviour is getting out of hand at this point and it'll all blow up soon.

Thanks for such a lovely review!

Emma x

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Review #17, by Lobelia Sackville-Baggins In Which The Moron Has A Heart

22nd March 2015:
My goodness.
Well first of all, I am SO glad that Jason and Ollie are starting to get closer -- I see so much potential for a brotherly-sisterly relationship between them, and I'm glad that Katie and Oliver are worried about Ollie as well. I can't believe her rotten luck to be landed with parents that don't seem to give a shit, and have Cassie gone (I have my suspicions about that, but I'm not completely sure -- when we find out, if I'm right, I will be insufferable, don't worry XD) and Scorpius is behaving like a little brat (and I feel so sorry for him at the same time, but SCORPIUS, YOU IDIOT), but I'm glad that she has a good support group, at least.
I can't wait until the next chapter! Good luck with your busy life (I know how that feels).
Happy writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review :)

I've been looking forward to starting to write Jason and Ollie in a closer relationship, and there'll be more of it over the next few chapters. Ollie's parents are pretty terrible but she's still got family who care about her.

I want to know your suspicions! I love hearing people's theories.

Scorpius is being awful. Little brat is pretty accurate. But he's also suffering so I hope people don't judge him too harshly.

I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Thanks again for reviewing!

Emma xx

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Review #18, by TumTum In Which The Moron Has A Heart

22nd March 2015:
I'm super, super happy to see another chapter from you :) I actually let out a little squeak when I saw it. It might just be all the cuddling that goes on which is /delightful/, or all the joking around that comes with Joe, Oz, Al and Jason, especially related to quidditch, or all of these people being loyal and supportive to Ollie but I really enjoyed this chapter and can't really find a fault with it? It was funny and flowed naturally - it went by really quickly to me. Everyone seemed in character..

I guess I don't have the bigger picture like you do... are you worried about fitting everything in together? What did you feel this chapter wasn't doing?

There were so many lovely little moments in this - like Scorpius suggesting that Oz and Joe would just cuddle in the sky if he didn't discipline them (they're so adorable even if I have more faith in them than that). Or Rose being passive-aggressively friendly to Scorpius regardless of how discouraging he attempts to be (I love her determination and boldness). Or Oz nuzzling Joe's forehead. Or all the casual touches between Al and Liv (>_

Author's Response: Hi Margie! So happy to hear you enjoyed the chapter. I think my problems with it are mainly just to do with how long it took to write - everything starts looking problematic when I've been staring at it for a long time. I'll try not to leave it so long before an update again and then it'll probably feel better.

I saw the rest of your review in our message on the forums - thank you so much for all your kind and thoughtful comments, your reviews are realy really appreciated.

Emma xx

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Review #19, by Roisin In Which The Moron Has A Heart

21st March 2015:
Man, when Scorpius said Olivia lacks commitment there was TOTALLY A DOUBLE MEANING THERE. She so should have run after him, but I suppose it might be too soon.

I loved that Oz and Joe stood in solidarity with Olivia. At the same time, I was kind of CRUSHED by Scorpius' reaction. You did a really good job keeping it all from Olivia's POV, but kept enough in there for us to be able to feel how hurt/abandoned he felt.

And I KNEW her and Jason would start being mates by the end of the story! Called it!


Author's Response: Roisin! Thank you so much for such a lovely review, you always have such thoughtful comments :)

Scorpius might not have responded well to Olivia running after him at this point, but that's not to say it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. He's struggling a lot still and his acting out is understandable if not defensible.

More of Jason and Olivia to come :)

Emma xx

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Review #20, by jessicalorewrites In Which The Moron Has A Heart

21st March 2015:
hey! I'm super excited you've updated again because I love this fic aw but yeah I'm here for the swap although I'd still probably be here irrespective of that.. :p

mostly I'm just going to gush/live-write my responses to everything. I'm sorry, I can never think coherently enough to write an eloquent review when I read this story.. I love it that much.

I'm not sure why but I find rose treating scorpius with "a kind of passive aggressive friendliness that made him clench his jaw" the funniest thing ever. can you just imAGINE. ily rose.

are you kidding me?! auntie katie would totally use the f-bomb. in my head katie bell is like a sailor with that mouth of hers. HONESTLY. but still. my image is of teen katie, not AUNTIE katie and I'm sure the younger ones in her family have a very different (and less biased) view of her than I do. what can I say, I'm a visionist.

that conversation with jason was honestly so sweet though ♥ I'm glad he's actually come forward and let her know that he's there for her if she ever needs him. I feel like she really needs that at a time like this, with first no cassie and now no scor.

OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE SCORPIUS KICKED HER OFF THE TEAM FOR A MINUTE! AFTER EVERYTHING. OH MY GOSH. but damnnn that chaser community vibe liv oz and joe have going on is enviable ♥

thanks for the swap! as always, I enjoyed this chapter immensely.

one quick question: will we ever find out more about where cassie is?!

- jess, xo

Author's Response: Hi Jess,

Thank you so much for such a lovely review - I'm so glad you're enjoying reading.

Totally agree with you about Katie, she's almost certainly been using some pretty strong words to describe her brother, but I think she probably wouldn't swear in front of her kid (at least not intentionally and by post...).

Jason and Olivia have some things to figure out but I wanted to show that their relationship has a bit more depth to it than Olivia likes to think.

We'll find out about Cassie but not for a while yet :)

Thanks for the review!

Emma x

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Review #21, by Shadowhunter In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

21st March 2015:
Oh, please, PLEASE update soon! I can't bear to wait any longer!

Author's Response: Haha I saw your review about five seconds after posting my next update. It's up now :)

Emma xx

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Review #22, by Shadowhunter In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

7th March 2015:
Wow. My heart is breaking for all of them. And I have a feeling that Cassie orchestrated the whole thing -- remember how she wasn't drinking beforehand? I think that might have something to do with it. I may be wrong, but I don't know...
Also, I see a LOT of potential for a supportive, brotherly-sisterly relationship between our lovely heroine and The Moron. Really. I can just see her being accepted into the Wood family and resolving her differences with them. Her parents, on the other hand, have major stuff to sort out. Such as how to be decent people.
I can't WAIT for an update. This story has me hooked.

Author's Response: Thank you SO MUCH for such a kind review! I'm so glad you're enjoying reading.

The next few chapters have some more development of Olivia and Jason's relationship which I think you'll enjoy :)

Much love,

Emma xx

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Review #23, by Lobelia Sackville-Baggins In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

4th March 2015:
Oh my goodness...I need this story like I need air! Please, please upload a new chapter soon!
Happy writing and warm fuzzies!

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! Sorry for the delayed reply - I've not been very up to date on here recently. Next chapter just went up though :)

Emma xx

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Review #24, by Roisin In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

27th February 2015:
Yay update! And new mystery! Ah! I'm so curious about the mistress! Like, I'm assuming it has to be someone we've heard of, either canon, or an OC you've already named, but I haven't got a single guess. I'm sososososo curious about what's going to happen with that.

I really respect the handle you have on Albus' character. Like, people often think of 'nice' as being something of a boring compliment--but I think niceness is under rated. IMO, 'nice' is the greatest compliment evar! At the same time, he doesn't feel like some two-dimensional character who's just nice. His feelings and history are subtly woven in, without being belaboured, and he just feels very, like, COMPLETE. And like, of course he would get lots of special treatment as a Potter--but I like that it isn't overstated. Just realistically present. I've said it before, but you write how history influences their lives in a really believable way.

I thought it was really funny that Olivia teased Brogan for being a mean girl with a dark secret--because isn't that Cassie to a T? During the beginning when Cassie was around, you did such a good job of explaining what it's like to have That Friend. I find it interesting that Albus would have been captivated by Brogan for the same reasons Olivia was captivated by Cassie.

There was a subtle thing in this chapter, where Daphne said that Pansy was the best thing in Olivia's dad's life. And Olivia didn't think about it! But I'm all like, UM EXCUSE ME, DOESN'T HIS DAUGHTER COUNT FOR SOMETHING?!?!?! I do not care for Daphne, to say the least.

I noticed only a few little errors, like 'my' instead of 'me,' and like one or two tense shifts, but that was it. There also seemed to be a lot more adverbs than usual. I mean, I think it's OK to use adverbs here because it's first person narration and that's realistic, but I would suggest limiting them wherever possible. At least in my experience, when I avoid adverbs it forces me to think of a different way to say things, and I end up being more proud of the writing.

As for your A/N, I wouldn't worry about the drop-off in reads. I think that's really normal this far into a story, and I also think that HPFF has sort of lulls and bursts of activity. PLUS, the 14th chapter of Y5 only has 7 reviews, and it's been out for a while, so I'd say you're still in 'very high review' territory!

I'm super excited for the next update!

Author's Response: Roisin!

I'm so rubbish at responding at the moment, and I've been talking to you so I know you know I have no excuse. Don't know why I've been so absent. But I read your review and it made me super happy so THANK YOU.

I'm enjoying writing Albus a lot, and totally agree with you about niceness (in fact I'm pretty sure I've used the phrase 'niceness is underrated' in real life multiple times). I want to show that kindness is a positive thing and an attractive quality. Thank you thank you for liking him :)

And YES Brogan and Cassie are very much parallels in their different ways in different houses, and it's interesting that Olivia doesn't pick up on that. I like the idea that Olivia and Al have been attracted to similar negative qualities in the people they surround themselves with.

Daphne's terrible but I love writing her.

Argh I need to do a good proofread. I've been so bad at getting my chapters written that I end up wanting to upload them immediately (I'm lacking your amazing editing patience). I'll come back and check those things though, and the adverbs comment is definitely true.

Thanks for such a lovely and helpful review!

Emma xx

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Review #25, by crestwood In Which Slytherins Speculate

4th February 2015:
Hi Emma! I totally thought I'd reviewed this already, but apparently I've been my usual trash self and neglected to.

I think you really sold the kind of shock Ollie is in at the beginning of this chapter. The short, choppy sentences definitely give off that feeling of confusion and disbelief.

I can't believe the rest of the Quidditch team actually suspects Scorpius might have actually been involved in Cassie's disappearance. I don't for a second buy that. I agree with Ollie, none of them know much about him clearly, if they think speculating about all of this is justified in any way. Especially in front of her, that was pretty detached of them.

I just know that Scorpius is going to seem even more suspicious because of his fear of law enforcement. Of course, they'll take that as a sign of a guilty conscience.

I'm really frightened for Cass now that they've found her locket and her blood and everything. I kind of thought that something like this might happen, but it's still scary. I still kind of suspect that she staged her own disappearance though because that feels like something she'd do.

I'm surprised that she ran away, but I do understand. Being bombarded with all of that and having to process it and being expected to make things better...that must have been pretty overwhelming. Scor will not be happy.

This chapter is a lot less plot driven than most others, but I quite like the emotional aspect of it all. I think you've definitely given us some insight into exactly what Ollie was feeling directly after Scorpius being taken in.

Another amazing chapter, as is typical. Thank you for the swap!

Author's Response: HI Joey!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I've had very mixed feedback about Olivia running away from Scor, but you definitely picked up on everything that's going on. She's had to process a lot of distressing information at once and isn't mature enough to know how to feel about it.

And the other Slytherins just aren't really thinking properly. They shouldn't really be saying that stuff to her but to them it's just a curiosity thing.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for the swap!

Emma xx

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