Reading Reviews for Complicated
  
232 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roisin In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

27th February 2015:
Yay update! And new mystery! Ah! I'm so curious about the mistress! Like, I'm assuming it has to be someone we've heard of, either canon, or an OC you've already named, but I haven't got a single guess. I'm sososososo curious about what's going to happen with that.

I really respect the handle you have on Albus' character. Like, people often think of 'nice' as being something of a boring compliment--but I think niceness is under rated. IMO, 'nice' is the greatest compliment evar! At the same time, he doesn't feel like some two-dimensional character who's just nice. His feelings and history are subtly woven in, without being belaboured, and he just feels very, like, COMPLETE. And like, of course he would get lots of special treatment as a Potter--but I like that it isn't overstated. Just realistically present. I've said it before, but you write how history influences their lives in a really believable way.

I thought it was really funny that Olivia teased Brogan for being a mean girl with a dark secret--because isn't that Cassie to a T? During the beginning when Cassie was around, you did such a good job of explaining what it's like to have That Friend. I find it interesting that Albus would have been captivated by Brogan for the same reasons Olivia was captivated by Cassie.

There was a subtle thing in this chapter, where Daphne said that Pansy was the best thing in Olivia's dad's life. And Olivia didn't think about it! But I'm all like, UM EXCUSE ME, DOESN'T HIS DAUGHTER COUNT FOR SOMETHING?!?!?! I do not care for Daphne, to say the least.

I noticed only a few little errors, like 'my' instead of 'me,' and like one or two tense shifts, but that was it. There also seemed to be a lot more adverbs than usual. I mean, I think it's OK to use adverbs here because it's first person narration and that's realistic, but I would suggest limiting them wherever possible. At least in my experience, when I avoid adverbs it forces me to think of a different way to say things, and I end up being more proud of the writing.

As for your A/N, I wouldn't worry about the drop-off in reads. I think that's really normal this far into a story, and I also think that HPFF has sort of lulls and bursts of activity. PLUS, the 14th chapter of Y5 only has 7 reviews, and it's been out for a while, so I'd say you're still in 'very high review' territory!

I'm super excited for the next update!
xoxo
Roisin

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Review #2, by crestwood In Which Slytherins Speculate

4th February 2015:
Hi Emma! I totally thought I'd reviewed this already, but apparently I've been my usual trash self and neglected to.

I think you really sold the kind of shock Ollie is in at the beginning of this chapter. The short, choppy sentences definitely give off that feeling of confusion and disbelief.

I can't believe the rest of the Quidditch team actually suspects Scorpius might have actually been involved in Cassie's disappearance. I don't for a second buy that. I agree with Ollie, none of them know much about him clearly, if they think speculating about all of this is justified in any way. Especially in front of her, that was pretty detached of them.

I just know that Scorpius is going to seem even more suspicious because of his fear of law enforcement. Of course, they'll take that as a sign of a guilty conscience.

I'm really frightened for Cass now that they've found her locket and her blood and everything. I kind of thought that something like this might happen, but it's still scary. I still kind of suspect that she staged her own disappearance though because that feels like something she'd do.

I'm surprised that she ran away, but I do understand. Being bombarded with all of that and having to process it and being expected to make things better...that must have been pretty overwhelming. Scor will not be happy.

This chapter is a lot less plot driven than most others, but I quite like the emotional aspect of it all. I think you've definitely given us some insight into exactly what Ollie was feeling directly after Scorpius being taken in.

Another amazing chapter, as is typical. Thank you for the swap!

Author's Response: HI Joey!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I've had very mixed feedback about Olivia running away from Scor, but you definitely picked up on everything that's going on. She's had to process a lot of distressing information at once and isn't mature enough to know how to feel about it.

And the other Slytherins just aren't really thinking properly. They shouldn't really be saying that stuff to her but to them it's just a curiosity thing.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for the swap!

Emma xx


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Review #3, by HufflePuff_Blitz In Which Draco Malfoy Makes A Joke

3rd February 2015:
Okay... can I just start with... I want that sketch book so bad!
More on the topic I really enjoyed this chapter, and while I usually don't like Draco I actually liked him in this chapter.
Good ol skeeter :D
I'm just taking a guess but since the article was about Albus, I'm thinking that is who she is gonna end up with...
The Chosen Son, I love that! Do you mind if I use that?
Awesome!
-Kyle

Author's Response: You kept reading! I'm genuinely so happy about that :)

And absolutely, of course you can use The Chosen Son!

Thanks for the lovely review,

Emma xx


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Review #4, by HufflePuff_Blitz In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

3rd February 2015:
Hey! This is Kyle for our swap!

Let me just start with this made me feel really uncomfortable. In the best way possible of course. The way you wrote this scene it felt like I was sitting in the room with the family, and if I were Olivia I would have booked it a lot sooner.

I really like Olivia also, she has that air of being in Slytherin but at the same time not. If that makes any sense. Her mother though.

I never would have really thought of who Pansy would end up with, but I feel really bad for Andrew. Sure he is kind of a jerk to her at the end, but the way she does seem to talk about Draco I can see why.

I like how you put Katie and Oliver together, it works pretty well. I also like how their son has a near obbsession to quiditch just like Oliver had.

Overall I Really enjoyed this and can see why it won a Dobby in dialog. Your dialog flowed really well in this and made it feel much more real. :)

I will definitely favorite this story and continue on reading it :)

-Kyle (Hufflepuff_Blitz)

Author's Response: Hi Kyle!

Wow, thank you so much for such a kind review! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading. There are things I'd probably change about this chapter now, having written a bit more, but it's always lovely to hear that people like it.

It makes me SO HAPPY when people like Olivia. I feel like I know her incredibly well now and it's always nice to get feedback about her.

And Pansy's definitely awful but then so is Andrew.

Thank you for such a lovely, thoughtful review, and thank you for the swap! I just left you a review on your James story.

Emma xx


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Review #5, by sleepingdragons In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

22nd January 2015:
Poor Liv :(
It seems like everything is going wrong for her, with her dad leaving her mum, and Scorpius being so rude to her.
At least Al is there for her though. The bit at Honeydukes was so cute! (And it also made me crave chocolate so badly hahah)
I get why Scorpius is upset, but I really wish he would just talk to Liv.
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!
xxx
P.S. Don't worry I'm most definitely still around and reading, this is one of my favourite stories!!

Author's Response: Olivia's definitely having a hard time, but Al's helping her through it a lot and it's opened up some nice moments for her. And writing Honeydukes ALWAYS makes me crave chocolate :)

Scorpius has some thinking and healing to do before he can resolve things properly with Liv.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying reading!

Emma xx


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Review #6, by TidalDragon In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

19th January 2015:
Albus is just a good soul isn't he? Like you alluded to with the dialogue in Slughorn's office, he's like Harry in a lot of ways, but freer for sure - a product of not losing his parents and living in a freer time I presume.

Scorpius on the other hand, while he's definitely got a legitimate reason to be angry just seems to be making things worse and worse for himself. Olivia's conflict avoidance when it comes to him hasn't helped either, but at the same time...WOOF...it's hard to see a recovery from this.

I am really intrigued by the tease that was left by Pansy at the juice bar (HA!) though. The mistress...I'm probably really going to regret this...but could it have some connection to Cassie. Obviously it can't BE her (since she's not 18), but I'm feeling it more and more like there's got to be some connection somehow that's going to tie this all together. Maybe there's a connection to Scorpius. Ahhh! Who can say, but you're keeping me guessing, so good work!

I'm glad you're carrying on with the story too despite what you mentioned in your author's note. I know how hard it can be carrying on with a novel when you can visibly see that happening (for me it helped contributed to a long layoff, which just made it even worse, but that's neither here nor there) - keep on keeping on.

My only real suggestion is I'd love to see more of that artist that Olivia is. I think it could be a really interesting dimension of her characterization (as I think I've said before) and it would be really neat to incorporate if you're able (or want) to do it in a positive way!

Thanks for sharing the super story, Emma!

Author's Response: I want Al to just be a GOOD person. He makes a few mistakes and has a temper but he's just supposed to be NICE. And that's not really something Olivia's had in her friends before. I'm glad you think he's like Harry. I didn't want to push too hard with comparing the kids to their parents, but I wanted it to be believable that Al was a Potter.

The mistress will be revealed in a few chapters - it didn't feel characteristic of Olivia to ask for all the details. She's struggling to face her problems at the moment.

And the author's note was probably a bit of unnecessary whining. The feedback and support this story has received is genuinely quite astonishing and I really can't complain. But thank you for saying that! I have no plans to abandon this story but it's always nice to receive encouragement.

Olivia's art hasn't been forgotten and will be explored more as a theme in later chapters. Its absence at the moment is intentional :)

Thank you so so much for all these reviews! You really didn't have to be so dedicated and I massively appreciate it. And thank you for setting the challenge in the first place! I had a lot of fun with it.

Emma xx


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Review #7, by TidalDragon In Which Louis Weasley Dances

19th January 2015:
Haha. It would make sense for that duo to ACTUALLY resolve the problem by Louis telling Laura off and then doing a dance. It was amusing.

I'm also glad that Albus had that stones to call Olivia out on her reluctance to acknowledge her new-found friendships for what they really are. It seems like a turning point in that regard, and while it would be nice for everything to work out, somehow I feel like that's not where the story's headed. After all, the title is "Complicated" and that's not really the real world, for everything to go just swimmingly is it? Still, even if it's just an interlude, I think it's a good thing for Olivia to see that there are positive forces in her life rather than just seeing herself as being thrown together with them or pitied by them - she's seeing it as a real connection with other people - a good thing.

I'm DETERMINED to get through these tonight (even if it's four months late) and I'll wrap them up for you soon. See you for the last chapter!

Author's Response: This was always going to be how Louis ended up apologising. He doesn't really know how to deal with things in a grown up way, and the dance was a way to show that he's being genuine in his own way.

This is definitely a bit of an interlude rather than an overall resolution, but Albus is a very stable character and is there to offer support when it's needed. You're right that this chapter's a turning point for Al and Olivia. She's opening up a bit and I hope her development as a character comes across.

Thank you again! Emma x


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Review #8, by TidalDragon In Which Breakfast is Traumatic

19th January 2015:
Well, I see you also had a different set-up in mind now...a Scorplosion if you will. To be fair, I think he's pretty rightfully upset at both parties. Though he handled it quite poorly for a public setting being as loud as he was, it's hard to blame him. He's under loads of pressure here and Olivia's assessment rings quite true. I never thought I'd say this about a Scorpius, but I hope he's alright (unless he is in fact a crazed attacker).

I also can't help but feel that there's some kind of connection between the ongoing investigation and the cryptic, short letters from Olivia's dad. I don't know WHY I think that necessarily, but I'm feeling like there's more to that story and you're making me want answers. So even if they're not connected, good on you for that.

As for the end, a Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room?! For shame! But I suppose it's a nice commentary on the way the world's evolved since canon and the Potters and Weasleys certainly seem to be welcoming her in - Albus with increasing interest.

See you for Chapter 13!

Author's Response: Scorpius is really suffering and although he's being overly harsh I'm glad you can sympathise. If Olivia wasn't also struggling she'd be able to realise better that he just needs support.

And Olivia's dad will feature in future chapters :)

I thought that after the war the different houses would be encouraged to be less separate. There's not really any reason why they shouldn't be allowed in eachother's common rooms, and I liked the idea of Gryffindor acting as a kind of refuge for Olivia.

Thanks again for all the reviews! I'm seriously impressed by your commitment!

Emma x


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Review #9, by TidalDragon In Which Slytherins Speculate

19th January 2015:
Hello again!

In contrast to the previous several chapters I've reviewed, this one just rubbed me as a bit off if I'm honest. The biggest thing I think was it feeling rushed. I know Olivia was sitting in the stands thinking/crying for some time, but because you condensed the time so much in terms of words it just felt like we had the high-impact carting-off cliffhanger last chapter and then Scorpius got returned very quickly. Perhaps if there'd been some reminiscence injected in there about moments in the friendship or her observations of the relationship it could've been lengthened and not felt so sudden? I don't know - it's your story and you may be holding that back for later - that's just how it struck me.

I was also surprised that Olivia just run. Obviously Scorpius is pretty upset and even if he's been quite rude to her frankly in recent times it seems if she was going to break down in front of anyone she'd want to break down WITH him rather than chancing it happening with someone else. It feeds the positive connection with Albus, but felt a little easy in that regard and further alienates Scorpius when (for now anyway) it doesn't seem like he deserves it this time.

No worries though! I look forward to seeing how things develop in the coming chapters!

Author's Response: Hmm, thanks for being honest about your thoughts. I actually quite like this chapter - it's one of the ones that came more easily when I wrote it - but maybe that means I was less critical of it. I'll maybe add some reminiscence type things though, I really like that idea.

Olivia's running isn't in any way supposed to be a justified action. She just can't cope with the situation and prefers to avoid her problems. Breaking down with him isn't an option for her because too much of what she's upset about is tied up with him and their shared experiences. It's a bad side of her but it's a side I wanted to show - I wasn't trying to suggest that Scorpius deserves this treatment at this point.

Thanks for the review!

Emma xx


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Review #10, by TidalDragon In Which Quidditch Is Played

19th January 2015:
How's that for a plot twist! Well played, Emma...well played. Though I wasn't much on the banter at the beginning (I got a bit disoriented there for a moment TBH), the actual match description was really well handled and you did some nice things tactically too like Olivia's lob. As far as the POV went, I personally enjoy the annnouncer-play back-and-forth and I thought it worked nicely for what you were trying to achieve. It would've been interesting to get a little back-story on WHY Lucy is the commentator and what allows her to be more neutral, but I thought the choice itself was strong nevertheless.

Obviously at this point, who knows what to make of the Aurors' actions. Right now it feels like more bullying of the Malfoys, which will play right into Scorpius's complex and everything, but I wonder...is there something more interesting at play? I suppose I'll find out as I read on!

Author's Response: Haha I'm actually quite surprised you liked the twist here. I think it came a bit too fast and was expecting that to be your feedback, so it's a relief that you quite liked it.

I think the banter at the beginning is perhaps part of the style of this story that doesn't appeal to you - it's very different to some of the things I write but lots of people seem to have enjoyed it. I'll try to refine some of it when I make more edits but in general I quite enjoy the little moments of just normal character chats and the Quidditch characters are a lot of fun.

I'll have a think about Lucy as commentator. In my head she just liked the whole Weasley Quidditch obsession but wasn't much of a player - maybe I can do something to get that to come across here. I'm glad you liked the commentary though! Writing the Quidditch Match was quite difficult and it's always a relief when reviews suggest that it worked.

Thanks again for all these wonderful reviews!

Emma x


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Review #11, by TidalDragon In Which Scorpius Is A Moody Cow

19th January 2015:
Well! Olivia oscillated from being delightfully awful to Laura Brogan to being too kind to angst-master Scorpius. I definitely feel where he's coming from, don't get me wrong, but he feels a little over-the-top getting upset about the prefect patrols and his excessive sensitivity to the Gryffindors Olivia's getting friendlier with. Certainly I understand the family dynamics, and maybe that hasn't been explained as such (or I've forgotten from earlier), but it seems like Draco and Astoria have come across as having grown up since canon and not being inclined to pass along grudges against the Weasleys and Potters to their son. After all, Harry and Ron helped save his life and probably saved him from Azkaban post-War too, so he may not like them, but...

Anyway, maybe that's just me. Personally, I continue to enjoy the way that Olivia is finding other people and perspectives on things. Long may it continue. And hopefully Scorpius will get his act together and stop being so put upon. Perhaps if he opens up like Olivia has, things will get better for him too.

Author's Response: Scorpius is over the top but is also suffering a lot more than Olivia maybe recognises, so although his behaviour's unkind I hope it doesn't seem unrealistic. He's lost the person he cares about most and so has a lot invested in Olivia. And then he feels like Olivia's abandoning him for the same people the rest of the world thinks are better than him. Hopefully it'll all become a bit clearer later, but I hope he doesn't seem too cruel.

And Olivia's discovery of new people and perspectives is definitely a positive thing for her, and something I'm enjoying writing.

Emma x


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Review #12, by TidalDragon In Which Questions Are Asked

19th January 2015:
If you'll forgive me, I think I'll keep this review slightly short because there was basically just one thing that jumped out to me that I really like about what you're doing - creating some conflict and deeper thought in Olivia about where she fits best. The story started out with she, Scorpius, and Cassie as this inseparable trio that has lives full of issues and messiness, but worked together pretty nicely. Now, you've taken Cassie out of the equation and it's destabilizing not just that dynamic, but the worldview that it seems like Olivia had almost...I guess we'll say fallen into...without thinking too critically about it. Now it's as if we're watching her grow up a little in that regard.

My only bone to pick would be maybe that it's happening a little quick and little transparently, but I think it's interesting and the depiction of DMLE folks from a side we don't usually see was a neat piece of it all too. Elena and Clementine seemed exactly like a pair of truant officers who would "talk down" to "kids" like Scorpius and Olivia.

Catch you in Chapter 9!

Author's Response: YES - this story is essentially about the way Olivia's life becomes destabilised without Cassie's presence. Although Cassie isn't a particularly easy character, Olivia's built up her lifestyle around her and in her absence everything changes.

I agree that it's sometimes quite quick, and that's something I'd like to work on. I still have quite a lot of plot points to cover here, and planned out each chapter in a lot of detail, but reading back through it so far there are things I'd change and the MLE officers in this chapter are one of them. If you have any advice on edits to make do let me know because when I eventually complete the story I'll be making some quite heavy changes.

This review is really really lovely and helpful feedback so thank you!

Emma x


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Review #13, by TidalDragon In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

19th January 2015:
Hello again! First a couple of minor things I noticed. Number one: parentheticals. I know you use them sometimes to show thinking, they're just a pet peeve of mine, especially when they seem like they could be avoided with general description (see: enter Molly Weasley at the top). Then in the same scene I caught this typo "first thing's first" - I think it should just be things no apostrophe. Also, if the password is Latin, you might offset with italics so it stands out more. Not a big deal, like I said though.

Anyway, I really like the actual meat of the chapter. The prefect meeting was interesting and it was a unique description of rounds from what I've either come across or what I've done on my own. For me, I think your explanation actually makes more sense, splitting up the castle and all because it would be almost impossible for one pair to cover the whole castle the whole night, but for some reason that's how I'd imagined it, with professors also being about or something. Anyway, KUDOS is what I'm trying to say.

I also found the point at the end with Joe about Cassie very interesting too. Partly it felt like a bit of pulling back the curtain on your purpose behind Cassie's absence, but part of me still liked it anyway. I'm looking forward to seeing how Olivia evaluates the remarks later on in the story.

Pushing onward...

Author's Response: I totally agree about the parentheticals. I think it's something I've got better at since writing this chapter but I'll definitely look out for it in future chapters. And thanks for pointing out that typo - I'll come back and edit it.

Joe's supposed to be a more reliable voice than Olivia, and I hope his moments of insight are helpful. I really enjoy him a lot as a character and I hope it feels natural when he makes his observations. He does have a purpose in that he's supposed to expose some of the things Olivia ignores, but it's a part of who he is so hopefully isn't artificial.

Thanks again!

Emma x


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Review #14, by TidalDragon In Which Slughorn Makes A Choice

19th January 2015:
Howdy Emma! I know it's been forever coming, but here I finally am following through on those reviews I owe you from my challenge. And wouldn't you know, now there's enough chapters up to blitz straight through. Believe me when I say though that I really am sorry for how long it's taken. It's awful really as when I started the challenge I promised I would never be one of THOSE people who took 8,000,000 years to pay out their prizes (if ever). Blarg.

ANYWAY, it's really good to come back to this story after some time away. It's so impressive that it won a Dobby, but the differentiation you created between the characters makes it clear why. I know the award itself was a testament to the dialogue specifically, but I don't think that happens without the other piece.

Here we didn't get to see AS many characters, but the ones we did get a glimpse of maintained that differentiability. I think the one I liked most was Slughorn. You handled both his favoritism and his oblique, yet firm insistence on things great I thought.

The great mystery of course is whether/when Cassie will return. I do hope we get some excellent exploration of that side of things in the future (though I'm confident you will) and that she returns because though I DID enjoy the banter between Olivia and Scorpius at the top, it's a different dynamic with Cassie in the mix too.

See you in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hi Kevin!

Don't worry at all! I absolutely loved the challenge and you didn't have to offer so many reviews in return! The wait is absolutely no problem.

I'm glad you like Slughorn. At some point I want to edit this and change who the teachers are and some little things so that it fits into the same universe as 'Victoire', but I did have a lot of fun writing Slughorn even though he's maybe not a character I'd choose to include again.

Emma x


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Review #15, by eatmycupcakes In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

19th January 2015:
This is such a great story. I bet Cass ran off with Liv's dad. I've felt like that might be the case since a couple of chapters ago. And I'm sure that that's what Liv's dad wants to talk to her about.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Andrew's mistress will be revealed soon :)

Emma x


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Review #16, by Veritaserum27 In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

19th January 2015:
Hello Emma!

Here for another chapter with our long-term swap.

Oh - the feels in this chapter. I don't even know what to do about them. First of, I do think that Albus and Olivia were on a date. In typical Olivia fashion, she didn't even realize it - and won't admit it until someone else points it out to her.

I was not surprised at all by Pansy and Daphne's actions in the restaurant. They are completely horrible and I was pretty proud of Olivia for standing up to both of them. Pansy is so self-absorbed, it is unbelievable. I do however, want to know who Andrew's mistress is. I don't have any guesses offhand, but I have a feeling that you will drop that bomb on us at some time in the future!

I wasn't surprised by Scorpius's actions toward Ollie. I still feel bad for him - because she did abandon him when he needed her the most. From his point of view, she's completely moved on and is all chummy with her "new" friends - the exact people that Scorpius hates and, until recently, Ollie hated as well. He's got to feel so alone - even more than Ollie does.

I can't wait for the next installment - I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with Cassie!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: And again, thank you thank you for all your lovely comments!

Al and Olivia both wouldn't describe it as a date, but you're right that it's probably more than Olivia realises.

And Pansy and Daphne are hideous characters but so much fun to write. I'm enjoying them a lot. The mistress will be revealed soonish but is a secret for now.

Scorpius is complicated but I wanted him in this chapter to cross over into being quite unacceptably horrible. He's suffering but so is Olivia and although she's been a bit silly she hasn't done anything to deserve his total lack of care. But I'm really glad you can see his side - he's not supposed to be a terrible person and he's definitely lonely.

Thank you so much for the reviews! I'll get to yours soon!

Emma xx


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Review #17, by Veritaserum27 In Which Louis Weasley Dances

19th January 2015:
Hi there!

Here for our long term review swap. I'd read this chapter ages ago and I guess I never left a review (so sorry!!)

I really love your writing style - it is effortless and I find myself at the end of the chapter before I know it.

Your characterization of Ollie is amazing. Of course she wouldn't consider herself friends with the Gryffies! She only spends most of her time with them, discusses her feelings with them (a little bit), hangs out in their common room and tries to help catch James's new love interest! She has to have Al tell her they're actually friends before she can realize it - it's just so perfectly Ollie.

So, Jason and Dominiqe, huh? And I don't exactly think that Jason sees Olivia as a persona non grata the way she sees him. She's slowly letting her prejudices slide as she realizes what she's been missing out on.

Good. Laura finally got what's coming to her - although she didn't show any weakness, in my head she went up to her room to cry.

And yay! Louis and Al are friends now! That dance was really funny.

Oh - I'm very excited about his Hogsmeade trip. But I have a feeling Pansy will either try to sabotage Al and Ollie's friendship (because she always wanted Ollie to be with Scorpius) OR she will try to get them together because he is Harry Potter's son.

Can't wait to read more!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I'll have to get back to ASLTW as soon as possible :)

Olivia's starting to change and let more people in but she's not really realised that about herself, and her not understanding that she had new friends was supposed to fit in with that. I'm so glad people enjoyed that about her here.

And Jason will start to feature a bit more from now on. You're definitely right that the way Olivia thinks her relationship with him works isn't fully reliable.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

Emma xx


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Review #18, by CambAngst In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

19th January 2015:
Hi, Emma!

I really liked your new chapter, even though parts of it weren't a lot of fun to read. You did a really good job with some difficult subject matter, letting Olivia feel and react as she made her way through a gauntlet of traumatic situations. I thought she ended up being very appropriate for her age and for the odd sort of transitional situation she finds herself in. At this point, it seems like she's straddling worlds between her old friends (Scorpius and Cassie) and her new friends (Albus, et. al.).

The walk from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade was definitely the fun part of this chapter. Al and Olivia felt like very normal teenagers feeling their way through an awkward but pleasant period of growing closer to one another. They fit quite well in spite of their differences. Maybe partly because of their differences. I was kind of disappointed that Al didn't get to answer Olivia's question about whether Laura Brogan had a "deep, dark back story". Somehow, I'm guessing she does.

Wow. Scorpius is going above and beyond at this point. I can understand being hurt and upset, but he's taking things obnoxiously far.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who imagines Daphne as being hopelessly vain and empty-headed. I confess that I had a lot of fun with her character in Conspiracy of Blood and Detox. She made for good comic relief. I also like her in the role of Pansy's enabler.

I had some mixed feelings about Pansy, which is a good thing. She seems a little more complex than Olivia's angry reaction would suggest, but not much more. She's definitely wallowing in self-pity, but I'm not sure that she realized how hard Olivia would take the news of her parents' separation. I don't think Olivia realized how hard Olivia would take the news of her parents' separation. Hmmnn... now I'm struggling to recall whether you named the mistress by name earlier in the story. If not, it's an interesting bit of mystery you've created.

Ah, the magic of Honeydukes' cellar. I love it as a setting for this moment between Al and Olivia. It was everything they needed in that moment, private and accommodating and away from the prying eyes of the crowds. You also did a great job with Ambrosius.

After several hours and more chocolate consumed than I wanted to think about, Al swished his wand to wash up our plates and left some gold coins on the crate heíd been sitting on. I didnít ask why he was leaving the money. -- This is really the only thing I can nit-pick you on in this chapter. If Al used magic, I think it would have set off the Trace.

I felt sad for Olivia that she went back to her own common room, but I can see why. She probably didn't feel like being surrounded by the Potter/Weasley traveling circus at that moment. Scorpius turned the jerk factor up to 11 in the common room. It was clear earlier in the story how much he relied on Olivia, but I think everyone -- myself included -- underestimated how much she relied on him. The ending of the chapter was a perfect metaphor for just how disconnected Olivia's become from everything she used to take comfort from.

I couldn't see a single typo in this. You did a great job with it, writing some very tough subject matter with a lot of finesse. Until next time...

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

Thanks for another really lovely review. Olivia's definitely straddling two different lives at the moment - that's a lovely way of putting it. She's very in between different things.

And Laura Brogan will feature more later...

I hadn't really intended to be so cruel to Daphne but she was a lot of fun to write, and I think anybody who's going to be good friends with my Pansy has to be quite vacuous. I'm glad you found Pansy convincing. She's struggling but is definitely not really acceptable int he way she treats her daughter. The mistress is still a secret for now :)

Hmm, I hadn't thought about the trace like that. I kind of thought they were probably okay in Hogsmeade - didn't Hermione levitate a christmas tree in the Three Broomsticks once? Maybe I'll have to do some investigating, or make Al already of age. Thanks for pointing it out anyway!

And yes, Olivia definitely needed Scorpius more than she thought. I wanted this to be a transition moment.

Thank you so so much for the review! You always leave such thoughtful comments and it really means a lot.

Emma x


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Review #19, by TumTum In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

18th January 2015:
Hi Emma,

Another super long review please don't feel obliged to respond to all my rambling, I just like to get out all my thoughts.

I loved the opening description of Albus - so homey and warm (palette and temperature and personality). All wrapped up and loved and very attractive. I wonder what he made of the whole thing.

This chapter has felt the loneliest so far - the contrast between this family drama and the last one is so striking because of the lack of Scorpius and Cassie.

Scor is harsh, really cutting. I understand why he is mad - he's visibly jealous and betrayed by Olivia being with Al on top of everything else that's happened and of course now he is burning all his bridges. But wow he knows how to be really mean.

You did a great job of showing the distance that remains between Al and Olivia and the awkwardness that's still there for all they like each other and are developing their friendship. Olivia might be getting closer to Al but I can see that she isn't confident enough to share with him or to know how to be around him - her default is to be judgemental about Valentine's Day and Laura Brogan but Al isn't as receptive as Scor or Cassie would be so she feels wrong-footed. She's also faced with the idea that her judgements might be unfair and hurtful, that there might be consequences for other people to her saying unkind things and for her. So she's guarded which makes it feel very lonely when everything goes so awfully wrong. It also makes me wonder what Al made of the whole thing. And of Olivia. I'd love to see a glimpse of his pov though I can see that it wouldn't fit in this story!

It's not like I think Olivia is over the top though, I remember being judgemental like that at 16. I think the way you've written Olivia is very discerning.

I'm intrigued by the section with Amethyst Twine... Yes. I am very curious about it and looking forward to seeing more.

As for Pansy... I was way off about her reaction to Al haha. She's a delightful nightmare and I find her tremendously entertaining with how dramatic she is but I think Daphne Greengrass made her look worse with the way she was relishing the drama and poking at Olivia and Al... I don't think that was Pansy's intention just that she didn't want to be alone to tell Olivia who is somewhat intimidating... Maybe. Pansy just doesn't seem up for being caring and responsible for somebody else which doesn't mean that she doesn't care it's just not what you want from a mum. I know someone a lot like that actually and I can see how tough it is for their kids! They hate that they can't rely on her - It's complicated! (ha). All this makes me want Olivia to reach out to Katie or vice versa!

The line about her dad drinking chai tea and painting the walls bright colours was really sad but it actually makes me hope that whoever this mistress is, it's someone who Olivia could potentially get along with and do a lot to make her relationship with her dad better. Hey in the end maybe this is a good thing...? If her parents are happier they can have a better relationship with her. I have to admit that my mind did leap to Cassie when Greengrass said "you'll never guess who she is!" but I reckon he wouldn't hook up with a 17 year old who the police are looking for. That's pretty low.

This was a really great chapter and I'm looking forward to the next!

Margie xx

P.S. Love Olivia's habit of yawning to ignore people, it's so catty and badass somehow. Very rude but I didn't like Greengrass at all, the way she spoke to Al!

Author's Response: Hi Margie,

This review is lovely! Of course I want to respond :)

You always pick up on everything I'm trying to get across in my chapters, and I really appreciate that. Scor's very much trying to hurt other people in an attempt to deal with the fact that he's hurting, and he's definitely crossed a line into cruel at this point.

And I love all your comments about Al and Olivia! I definitely won't venture into Al's point of view in this novel - I generally don't really like POV switches - but maybe I'll follow up with a one-shot at some point?

Thank you for saying you don't read Olivia as being over the top! That's often my main worry in writing her.

And there will definitely be more of Amethyst Twine later, as well as more details about Andrew Bell's mistress :)

Thank you thank you for another perfect review! You bring me so much happiness every time you give these lovely comments, and I'm so so glad you're still enjoying reading.

Emma xx


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Review #20, by asdfghjkl In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

18th January 2015:
It's so sad that Scor is so upset with her. I'm glad her and Albus are starting to finally get closer, though. Him coming along to meet her mother shows a huge step in her consideration of him being her friend and it's lovely to see that transition. Olivia obviously also is starting to realize that even though she loves Scorpius and wants him in her life, she needs people who will really care about her right now, with everything that's going on. So even though I hope beyond hope they can work it out and it's very sad that she feels the need to shatter their photo, it's almost good that she is able to be friends with other people and broaden her social norms. Keep writing, I can't wait to see what happens next :)

Author's Response: Scor's having a rough time and is struggling to forgive Ollie for what to him seems like a huge betrayal. But yes, it's bringing her and Albus closer. I'm glad you noticed the significance of her bringing him along to see her mother. She's recognising that it's good for her to have people care about her like this.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm so so glad to hear you're enjoying reading, and will update soon xx


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Review #21, by Eunia  In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

17th January 2015:
I have the strangest feeling that Cassie is with Ollie's dad. I'm probably way off though, but I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: It'll all be revealed soon :)

Thanks so much for the review!

E x


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Review #22, by Irishseeker In Which Things Get A Little Bit More Complicated

17th January 2015:
Oh god god Scorpius please stop. The bitterness is just so real and it's so horrible, poor Liv.
They were so happy in chapter 1 and now it's all gone to-poop. Haha. The picture frame was such a nice touch, by the way! Really helps the heart break. ;)
I'm really interested to find out who her dad is with now and I can tell it's going to be such a plot twist and it was just about to be unsealed and then it wasn't, again-nice touch.
Can Scorp and Liv just make up please and seriously Cassie, where are thou?
I really like how Al and Liv's relationship is progressing. Not even in a romantic way but it's not bitter or they're simply hanging around each other because they have no one else, which is true but you make it clear that there is actual potential good friendship there and they actually get on well. Which is nice instead of the whole usual love/hate constant banter type of relationships that just go straight to the romance or full on fights.
I also really like seeing such a sweet side of Al, it's good character development on your part!
I'm really trying to keep going and improve at the whole reviewing shebang so I hope my reviews are helpful feedback!
Also, just a question, how many chapters do you plan on having for Complicated?
IrishSeeker xx.

Author's Response: 'Bitter' is definitely the right way to describe Scorpius here. I'm sort of hating writing him like this but he's hurting and it's not going to go away easily. I'm glad you liked the picture frame! It was a bit of a last minute addition.

And we'll find out who her dad's with soon :)

I wanted Al and Olivia's developing friendship to feel real. Neither of them are the type to have absolutely loads of friends, and Olivia struggles to get close to people quickly, but they've got no reason to hate each other and squabble in the way lots of these stories start. So this feels like the natural way to deal with them. And sweet Al I love :)

Your reviews are wonderfully helpful! I really appreciate every single one, and it's so so nice to know that you're enjoying reading enough to leave reviews every chapter. Honestly thank you so much!

I have 35 chapters planned in total, but it will probably end up being a bit less than that because if some of them end up quite short I'll squeeze them together. But around 35 altogether. I'm planning to upload at least two a month.

Thanks again for the lovely review!

Emma x


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Review #23, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack In Which Louis Weasley Dances

9th January 2015:
The Basilisk is not the only elusive creature on the archives leaving reviews. I have come out from hiding long enough to let old Xeno Lovegood catch a glimpse of me, and then it's back to the wilds for me. In the meantime, I thought I'd share my opinion of this wonderful story and, more specifically, this chapter.

Rose and her spreadsheets made me laugh. Reminds me a bit of those scientists who come out to look for mythical creatures but I am too mythical and defy the logic of their spreadsheets.

I loved the reaction everyone had to Olivia's suggestion that James might be sneaking off to meet a guy. The only thing that offends them is that there's at least 100 possible suspects and they have to do SO MUCH MORE WORK to find out who it is!

Interesting thing for Louis to do to show how sorry he is, but I like that he was willing to humiliate himself and do whatever to prove to Albus that he really is sorry. More than that, I like that Albus and Louis are friends again. :) Fun fact: The Crumple-Horned Snorkack is known for its fine dance moves. Perhaps Louis and I would be friends.

Aw! I like that it's taken a while for Olivia to realise that she and the Gryffindors are actually friends. She's been kind of in a bubble and as as her only real friends before were nothing like the Gryffindors, particularly Cassie's kind of exclusive friendship, I find it entirely realistic that she wouldn't recognise her new friendship until it was pointed out to her.

Lovely chapter and it has been a pleasure reading this! I'm off to hide from Xeno Lovegood again.

Author's Response: I can't believe how wonderful this review is! Thank you so much, whoever you are - and you reviewed the most recent chapter?! So I don't know if you'd already read the rest or what but I'm so so impressed and grateful.

Rose's spreadsheet was just fun and supposed to be a bit of a reminder of Hermione. And then I hope the conversation about James came off well! I wanted to show how accepting they are as a group, and think (hope) their problems with the inconvenience James's potential boyfriend poses to their nosiness rather than problems with the existence of said boyfriend show that.

And Olivia's definitely warming up a bit now that she's got some friendlier friends. Their friendship is nothing like her friendship with the Slytherins, and I'm glad you found her difficulty recognising it believable.

Thank you so much! Good luck hiding :)

Emma x


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Review #24, by TumTum In Which Louis Weasley Dances

6th January 2015:
Hi Emma!

Firstly, a couple of little mistakes - I was confused about the quidditch, did you mean Joe and Oz when you said they were meant to protect the team from the bludgers? Also the sentence "Sorry," I said, thing about the letter I'd just sent". Did you mean thinking?

Other than that this chapter was lovely. Of course I noticed Scorpius being a jerk and Olivia being aloof, freaked out by emotional displays and feeling self-conscious and left out. It all made perfect sense with the way their characters have been developed!

There were some really golden, funny and sweet moments like Rose bursting into tears subsequently confusing Albus and Louis. It reminded me strongly of Hermione - you're so good at implying a relationship between parent and child without making them seem like carbon copies!

There also seemed to be so much subtle character development. For example, Dominique is wonderful so far - sultry, "terrifying", exasperated by Louis but very protective of him. Furthermore, Olivia scowling at the sight of Jason when he appears to be a pleasant and harmless human being is somehow delightful, especially because I think they secretly care for each other deep, deep down. At the same time I love the idea of them getting to know each other only just now... Sorry not sure why I'm so fixated on Jason & Olivia, I know it's not central to the story but I hope further appearances of the Moron are enlightening. I dunno I just want him to tell embarrassing stories about Olivia as a little girl or something. Man don't mind all this I'm just rambling.

When Albus buried his face in Olivia's neck like it gave him strength (again!) I practically cooed. The scene at the end of the chapter felt really meaningful because it goes from Olivia expressing what she really feels through a letter sent to a person who likely won't be sympathetic if they read it at all to her telling someone outright how she feels. It just felt very good. I do wonder what Olivia will do when she realises she's holding Al's hand though...

Oh and another thing! Al and Liv are just going to spend Valentine's Day together, meeting and being introduced to Olivia's mum... there's no way Pansy isn't going to leap to unnecessary conclusions! (she wouldn't be entirely wrong). At any rate, I suspect Al won't be a big hit with this mum simply because he isn't Scorpius. I cannot wait to see his impression of Pansy and her reaction to him - I wonder if he'll call her Liv in front of Pansy...

I'm rather sad Olivia doesn't consider Joe and Oz her friends (those adorable, huggable koalas!) though I'm not surprised about Al and the others but still I can see that the nature of her friendship with Scor and Cassie means excluding everyone else. Joe said as much.

It struck me that a lot of what Laura Brogan said about having no one left and being the only one Louis had is a mixture of how she really feels and what she wishes happened because then it would be like she chose it rather than messing up... Well it was a thought.

Margie xx

Author's Response: Margie!

You're so right about those mistakes. I seem to have made loads of silly errors in this chapter. Have fixed those now :) Thanks for pointing them out!

I'm so glad Rose reminded you of Hermione here! That was the plan. I like having moments of them showing that they're their parents's children.

I got an unfair amount of enjoyment writing Dominique, which is bad because she's just not a big character here, but I'm glad you liked her. And I promise there are many many Olivia/Jason moments still to come.

And I hope this chapter did a lot of development for Al and Liv. They're not quite there yet but she's starting to trust him, and I hope that came across here.

And thank you for calling Joe and Oz huggable koalas. Did you see my (much delayed) response to your MTA questions? They have both have a koala patronus :)

Laura's a bit of a mess all round. She's got a long way to go before people are going to trust her properly, and you're definitely right about her kind of trying to reinvent what happened.

Thanks so much for such a lovely review! Chapter 14's written so should be up soon :)

Emma xx


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Review #25, by Roisin In Which Louis Weasley Dances

6th January 2015:
Yee! I LOVED this chapter! Rose's spreadsheet was genius--just, YES. The perfect combo of Granger and Weasley.

And I loved the way you played Olivia feeling uncomfortable and leaving when they all start hugging. It was clear to me reading that her self-consciousness was baseless, but you've built up her character as being someone who WOULD feel like that. And then the kind of catty exclusivity she shared with Cassie makes it so her friendship with the Wotters doesn't feel the same, ergo, she doesn't recognize it as friendship. Plus, you've established that she feels weird about physical contact, so of course she'd bounce when everyone starts group hugging.

I suspect Scorpius is gonna freak when he sees Olivia going to Hogsmeade with Albus. I mean, sure SHE feels abandoned by him, but she's the one that RAN AWAY from him FIRST. I see where they're both coming from. And the Wotters are kind of the most AWKWARD possible group for Olivia to become friends with, as far as Scorpius is concerned. I mean, he must have a lot of issues about his reputation, and they would probably preclude him from feeling very comfortable with hanging out all together. Like "Oh hey guys, sorry about my dad being complicit in STRAIGHT UP TORTURING your mom! How bout this weather we've been having?" He could easily see the whole thing as a betrayal. Not that I'd agree, just... I'd see where he was coming from. And he super needs a friend right now too (granted, he's making it really impossible for Olivia). I just like how youthy all this is, where the situations are complex and the Right Thing to Do or Feel isn't necessarily obvious, or cut and dry, and no one's totally wrong or totally right.

OKAY, JAMES. A while back I suspected that James knew something about Cassie, which might explain his sneaking around. I also suspect that Cassie is pregnant. But I'm like "Cassie wouldn't cheat on Scorpius!" Except, I actually have no reason to be so sure. And you definitely established that James doesn't care if a girl is in a relationship. HM.

I am SO excited for the next chapter! Yeee!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: This review made me SO happy. You've said all the things I wanted to hear :)

And you're spot on about the difference between Olivia's Slytherin friendship and her friendship with Al, and why that makes it hard to recognise that he's actually her friend. She's a bit set in her ways.

And I've been having so much fun writing the next chapter. Scor's reaction definitely features!

There'll be more of James later :)

Thank you for the lovely lovely review,

Emma xx


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