Reading Reviews for Complicated
  
169 Reviews Found

Review #1, by RUMBLERORE In Which Slytherins Speculate

23rd October 2014:
So I've been meaning to read this story for like a month now and I've had it open in a tab the entire time and I FINALLY got around to reading it and it is amazing! (idk if any of that made any sense) I'm so obsessed with Olivia and I really like Al too. The way that you write is incredible! Especially the parts where Olivia is drunk. You do such a good job at those parts. Honestly I love this story so much. I'm not sure how I feel about Louis at this point, but he has his upsides. Also, Joe makes me super uncomfortable but he's still adorbs. And idk if you were planning on developing more characters into the story or not, but I think it would be really nice if there was a bigger part with James in it. At least to see more of the interactions him and Al have. But idk. I just feel like I would like James' character. Even though Al is number one. Okay so this whole review is me rambling about nothing. I'm so sorry. I'm super excited to read more though!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Dianainga In Which Slytherins Speculate

18th October 2014:
More, more, more! I really love this story. I am a huge Al fan so I really like the sweet way you are portraying him...he really takes after his dad with the hero persona! I like Ollie and think there is something really suspicious about Cassie.still do not believe totally that she is a victim. Keep updating OFTEN!

Author's Response: Thanks for such a lovely review! I'm glad my Al works for you :)

And Cassie's definitely supposed to be suspicious :)

I'm really happy to hear you're enjoying reading. Will try to update soon xx


 Report Review

Review #3, by Zeeqad In Which Slytherins Speculate

18th October 2014:
I kinda hate Ollie for running away from Scorpius when he clearly needed her. That's not something a best friend or even a good friend would do.

Great story by the way, read it all in one go and can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Aw, don't be too harsh on her. She's suffering too. But yeah, it wasn't a very supportive move and Scor won't be happy.

Thanks so much for such a lovely review! I really appreciate it and am really happy to hear you've been enjoying reading :)

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #4, by Hedwig_Pie In Which Slytherins Speculate

17th October 2014:
AWMIGOD ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS MUCH LOVED IT IT WAS EXCELLENT TRULY OH JUST SLJDKSCDFKVNDF

Author's Response: Hiya,

I just wanted to thank you for all the lovely reviews. It's really great to hear from people enjoying the story and I really appreciate your taking the time to review multiple chapters!

Thank youuu,

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #5, by Hedwig_Pie In Which Quidditch Is Played

17th October 2014:
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT THIS IS AWESOME

Author's Response: Haha thank you so much!!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Hedwig_Pie In Which Questions Are Asked

17th October 2014:
LOVED IT. i really love their relationship, its so normal and understandable and well explained. none of that OMG ALBUS I HATE YOU FOR NO APPARENT REASON etc, etc. its really good - they act like normal teenagers to all their issues and its just really good. i love it.

Author's Response: I'm so so happy you said this! I think my priority with this story has been to make believable characters, and it's great to hear you think they're understandable. I'm not a fan of the hating each other/being secretly in love with each other for no reason and decided to stay away from it.

Thanks so much for all these reviews! I really appreciate it xx


 Report Review

Review #7, by Hedwig_Pie In Which There Are Prefect Patrols

17th October 2014:
i really like ollie after this chapter! she's just so calm and nice and a good person. laura sucked before. now she really sucks. no laura.

Author's Response: Haha, Ollie probably wouldn't want to be described as nice, but she's definitely fundamentally a good person xx

 Report Review

Review #8, by Hedwig_Pie In Which There Is An Attempted Kidnapping

17th October 2014:
liked it. very well written portayal of laura exploiting al. poor al. laura sucks. great chapter

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Laura's a pretty complicated character but definitely pretty rubbish to Al. I'm glad you found it convincing :)

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #9, by b In Which Albus Potter Has A Hero Complex

17th October 2014:
this is lame, oponbjvhnnmbnbg

Author's Response: Hiya,

I'm guessing you're not enjoying reading then (although you made it to chapter three so presumably don't hate it too much?). That's okay, obviously I can't make you like my writing.

If you do keep reading I'd really appreciate some feedback on why it's not working for you. I'll come back and edit everything later and really try to take into account any feedback people leave me in reviews so that would be really helpful.

Thanks for taking the time to review, anyway :)

Emma x


 Report Review

Review #10, by Sunshine&Daisies In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
I love this story! Keep up the good work. I look forward to seeing how Cassie and Al's relationship evolves.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying reading :)

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #11, by Irishseeker In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
Oh my god CAS-SIE. Locket. Blood. Scorp-this just keeps getting better and better oh my god. Poor Scorp though :'( but it is true about the boyfriend always being the first suspect but could Scorpius of done it? I would normally doubt it but I really don't know right now. I really like how you fit everything in and CONGRATULATIONS ON THE DOBBY. Your dialogue is fantastic and it is so well deserved and it's so great to see this story getting the awards and recognition in deserves.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
IrishSeeker x

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for taking the time to review :)

I'm really glad you're enjoying this. This chapter's been one of my favourites to write and is a bit of a turning point in the plot so I'm really happy people are liking it :)

And thank you!! I'm super thrilled about the Dobby!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #12, by AdinaPuff In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
Ema!

Another marvelous chapter, of course. Lots of Oz and Joe in this one. Yay! Joe's my favorite. I love his character so much. I'm glad Ollie defended Scorp to them though when they started dishing out reasons as to why Scorp would do something to Cass.

More hints on Cassie! I wonder who did that to her. Charms on the locket? OH MY GOSH WAS IT THE CREEP AL RESCUED OLLIE FROM ON NEW YEARS EVE (I think it was New Years). That would be a great, huge plot twist.

You've got the wheels in my head turning thinking about what could have happened!

More soon, please! :)

-Leigh

Author's Response: Leigh!

Yayy thank you so much. Joe's one of my favourites too :)

But yes, Scor will always come first for Ollie.

Hehe this review's made me really happy, thank you thank you.

Will try to update asap!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #13, by flauschdrache In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
I don't know why I haven't reviewed this story before but I'll do so now. It's amazing! I was hooked after the very first chapter. I love how each and every of your characters has their own voice. I wish I could master that as well as you do! And I'm so curious about what happened to Cassie. I have absolutely no idea what could be going on so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Al is such a sweet charcter and since I feel that James II is usually the more prominent Next-Gen Potter child it's so refreshing to read something about Al.

Keep up the good work. I cannot wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Great to hear from you!

I'm so glad you're enjoying reading, and your comment about every character having their own voice has made me really smiley.

I usually read James II fics so I'm not quite sure why I ended up writing Al. I think he turned up because I knew I wanted to have Scorpius in there as a best friend. But I'm enjoying writing Al a lot.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! I really appreciate it.

Emma xxx


 Report Review

Review #14, by TumTum In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
OK I have a new theory about Cassie. No actually I have 20 now, they keep on doing circles in my head. This business with the necklace doesn't look at all good and she could have been kidnapped or assaulted or even murdered (gasp) but I don't know. Or at least I'm less inclined to think so though I am very conscious that she's got that dangerous combination of being a vulnerable person without much protection and having an independent streak a mile wide. But it would be easy enough for Cassie to set up the necklace as a fake clue right? And she is clever and manipulative.

That would be particularly cruel though to her friends. There is something so personal about getting rid of something that so clearly represents her close relationship with Ollie and Scorpius and it feels pretty symbolic of her to leave it behind as a false clue - like a complete break with her past and Ollie and Scor. The thing is, I'm pretty sure that Cassie had secrets from the two of them but were they a big enough deal to force her to leave school (did she care about school? Not actually sure but I suspect not much) and her friends who she appeared to love very much? Because even if she did have secrets there's nothing there to suggest that she didn't love them as she appeared to. I don't know but that doesn't seem quite likely either. But that's partly because I can't imagine what would make her go to such lengths.

At the moment, I suspect that Cassie is in trouble but that there will be revelations about secrets that she has been keeping that will confuse things and change the way Ollie sees Cassie, making her doubt their friendship? Whatever the case you're a genius at setting up this mystery.

I do have another theory about a secret she was keeping even if it doesn't explain her disappearance: she had something going on with Amethyst Twine, the person who has been acting even more strange since they came back to school, since Cassie went missing? Were they having an affair? (my mind is like a torrid soap honestly) I would be surprised if Ollie were to judge Cassie unkindly for being with a girl but maybe Cassie felt the pressure to stay with Scor even if she didn't feel it in order to maintain her friendship with them? And at the same time I think she did care deeply for Scor. Pssh I don't know.

I still think James knows something about this and I hope the latest revelations urge him to do something. Perhaps Al will provide a link for James and Ollie to meet and put the pieces together?

I don't think it was Scorpius but I think it's interesting that even the Slytherins wonder and I reckon that part of the reason that Ollie ran from him is that she entertained the thought, even if it was just for a second. After all she's the only one who knows that he had told Cassie that he loved her and was rejected. It will look that way to Scorpius I suspect, either way, poor guy.

It's difficult to tell what Ollie thinks because she's been in denial up till now and at the moment she's just shocked and frightened and upset. I felt awful for her because Scor and Cassie are her family atm and I was so glad when she bumped into Al who was so good and caring. I love him a lot right now and I hope he sticks around because I think he will be able to ground her. Also I just love him and want to see more of his character and how he will react to this situation when he knows more. Will he be helpful to Ollie above being comforting? I do think (hope) that each time something like this happens, Ollie trusts him a bit more.

I loved this chapter and I wanted to hug Ollie but at the same time it's getting frustrating still not knowing much about Cassie especially when Ollie can't or won't process all this information and investigate it because she is too closely involved. I feel for her 100% but at the same time I want her to try because I think she is the person best placed to find out the truth. That's where I hope this story is going although whether I'm right or wrong I don't doubt that I'll enjoy it. Well done for getting the balance between emotion and mystery just right.

Congratulations on getting your Dobby, it's very well deserved ^_^

Margie xx

Author's Response: Margie!

Your reviews make me smile so much. Thank you thank you.

It's great to hear your thoughts on Cassie. I won't comment on them now because *spoilers* but it's super interesting to hear what you're thinking so thanks so much for all of that.

I will say that Amethyst Twine's role in this story is definitely going to get bigger.

You're right about Ollie being the only one who knows about Cassie's reaction to Scor saying he loved her, and that's a confusing level of responsibility for Ollie to have. She's struggling without her best friend and isn't dealing with things sensibly. Having Scor being suspected doesn't help.

I'm so glad you said Scor and Cassie are her family! That's the kind of friendship I've been trying to write :)

Al's just an all round good guy. He's decided he cares about Ollie and won't listen to her not wanting his help, which is for the best because things are pretty lonely for her right now. But more on that in the next few chapters :)

Thank you so much for such a kind review! I really appreciate the time and thought you put into giving feedback.

Much love,

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #15, by CambAngst In Which Slytherins Speculate

15th October 2014:
Hi, Emma! I was really excited to see a new chapter posted!

Wow. I thought the last chapter was going to be hard to top for shocking revelations, but you definitely did it here. If Cassie is doing this all for a laugh, I have to say that she's going to impressive lengths. Then again, I'm not so sure that's what's going on any more. I'm assembling clues in my head and the puzzle still doesn't have many pieces. The latest hint is that it seems like Cassie disappeared from King's Cross. So she nearly made it to the train. Hmmnn...

It's interesting to get a read on Scorpius's likely guilt or innocence from people who aren't as close to him as Olivia. His fellow Slytherins seem to find it at least plausible that he could have done something to Cassie. Perhaps not likely, but not outside the realm of possibility, either. I feel like their doubts had a lot to do with Olivia's reaction to Scorpius later on.

I really liked the way that you paced the conversation between Olivia and Scorpius. As he reveals each new piece of information, I could feel her reaction changing. She went from being unconditionally supportive to... I guess "confused" would be a safe way to say it without overstating anything. I didn't get the impression that she thinks Scorpius did it, but I think the lingering doubts combined with evidence that could be interpreted to mean that something bad happened to Cassie was too much for her. So she runs...

... into Albus's arms. I've been wondering how you were going to pull this off and you did it with a lot of finesse. It didn't feel too easy. There was a good measure of trauma involved. You played into Olivia's vulnerable state and Albus's hero complex. Bravo! I think all the hard word you've been doing to build up these two characters really paid off in this moment.

I didn't see a single typo in this chapter, so kudos for good editing. It all flowed nicely, a smooth, enjoyable read. Great job! I can't wait to see what's coming next.

Author's Response: Hi Dan :)

This has been one of my favourite chapters to write so far. It's a scene I've had in mind from the beginning so it was really satisfying to finally get it down on paper.

Scorpius doesn't seem suspicious to Olivia, but I hope it's clear that he could seem guilty to other people. It's confusing for Ollie because obviously he's still her best friend but then she's seen how other people aren't convinced by him. So yes, she doubts him.

And Albus...I really don't want to slip into the trap of having some guy who comes and fixes all the problems and sorts something out. Ollie's strong and she doesn't need somebody, but then it's good for her to have someone in her life who's actually kind and supportive. This chapter was definitely a bit of a vulnerable girl/hero complex guy moment though.

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading! Thanks so much for such a wonderfully kind review :)

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #16, by hoodwink In Which Slytherins Speculate

14th October 2014:
Wait, what just happened? I'm so conflicted in what to feel... I mean Scorp getting taken away for questioning and Ollie running away from him (AND THE BLOOD ON THE CHAIN, WHAT WHAT WHAT, NO.) but then there's that cute bit at the end where Al comforts her. Too many emotions! This is a great chapter, it felt too short though, compared to the other ones, but that's a minor detail haha. I really like where the story is going right now and that the mystery of Cassie is becoming more prominent (as in something actually happened to her?!). I can't wait to figure out what happens next! Keep up the great writing, I love it (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review :)

This chapter's the shortest I've written by quite a bit, but I felt like there was enough going on and it was probably time to cut it off at the end.

I'm so glad you liked everything! And Al's definitely lovely. This is one of the moments I've had solidly in mind since I started thinking about writing 'Complicated'.

Thanks for all the (extremely kind) feedback! I'll try to update soon :)

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #17, by Veritaserum27 In Which Questions Are Asked

12th October 2014:
Hi Emma,

I'm back to get caught up on this story, but first I need to officially congratulate you on your well deserved Dobby. Awesome job! This story is getting better and better. The more I read, the more I realize how much work and careful planning you put into it - I'm totally hooked!

Now I'm seriously starting to get worried about Cassie. And I know that Scor and Ollie are both trying to convince themselves that she's just being "Cassie," but I don't think either one of them buy it, either. They are both starting a slow panic.

Grrr. Pansy makes me so mad. It's like she's trying to live vicariously through her daughter and making every effort to blame her for her own problems. There was no "congratulations on making prefect" from either of her parents (if Ollie even bothered to tell them), just loveless letters. I am a bit intrigued by her father's letter. Does he know something about Cassie?

So, I must admit, Rose can be a bit annoying (and I'm a huge Rose fan, so it takes a lot for me to admit that). But I do wish she would call Ollie by the name that she prefers. I can see how Rose is stuck in between her two best cousins here, but I'm on Al's side. What Louis did was unforgivable, although I'm starting to think Louis may have a bit of a drinking problem. Even so, Al is his cousin and his best friend and - you just don't do that.

The MLE officers? Hmmm... I feel like they know more than they are saying. The mystery is building.

Ooo - Al was so sweet here. Ollie is lucky - she could've been seriously hurt.

Poor, poor Scorpius. I love the character you've made him. He is fiercely loyal to the few that he holds dear and his small world is falling apart. It stands to reason that he would feel a lot of animosity towards the Wotters. They have a large family (read: support group) and are regarded as the next generation of heroes, while his is still paying for the crimes of his father. And the explanation as to why the MLE officers scared him was awesome. Ugh - I think that boy's been through enough - Cassie come back and take care of him!

Great chapter!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Thank you so much! I'm totally thrilled. And congratulations to you too!!

Pansy is definitely pretty awful, but Olivia almost definitely didn't tell her parents about being made prefect so maybe that doesn't come into their many flaws. Her father's letter.will be explained later :)

Aw, Rose is just trying to be nice and be a good friend. But her and Ollie are a bit of a clash really at the moment. They're getting there though.

I'm so glad you like Scorpius! He's one of my favourites and he's obviously having a bit of a hard time. But Cassie might not be back any time soon...

Thanks so much for coming back and taking the time to review! I'm horribly behind on your wonderful story but will make sure to come back to it soon!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #18, by Lola X In Which Quidditch Is Played

12th October 2014:
Congratulations on your dobby! You deffo deserve it! Can't wait for the story develop and find out what actually happened to Cassie and where she is! X

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm completely thrilled :)

The next chapter's in the queue so should be up soonish!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #19, by randomwriter In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

11th October 2014:
Hello Emma! I'm a huge fan of next Gen stories and I know that a lot of them seem repetitive, but I really can't resist a well written one with good dialogue!

First of all, I must congratulate you picking something different. The opening chapters of such stories are full of teenage first world problems, and the protagonist is almost always obsessed with James or Al. I think that it's interesting that you dived straight in. It's interesting to see this from the POV of someone who doesn't belong to an already well establish family (Malfoys, Weasleys). There's so much potential in this, and I really enjoyed how you opened it. Also, I once had an idea for writing a story where Pansy tries to set her daughter up with Scorpius, so I'm stoked you wrote something similar-ish (except in my story idea, the girl was an annoying mini-Pansy).

Olivia is funny and she seems confident and self assured, which is always nice to see because I know I don't have to be wary of her turning into a pile of goo the second an attractive boy enters the fray. Her internal monologue is refreshing to read and I just overall liked her. So far, at least. Lets see what you do with her :)

I've seen a lot of nextgens where the character complains about a horrible family and an awful lot of drama when the family is loving, even if they are a tad crazy, and I expected that from this. Except, it was different. There was actually drama and her emotions were warranted, not just pointless rambling and whinging for the sake of it.

I love your portrayal of the canon characters. First of all, this family tie is very original. I've never seen it, with Oliver and Katie being related to Pansy at the end of it. poor Oliver, I can't believe he has tolerate her, given his attitude towards non-Gryffindors and Slytherins, in particular. I'm not Pansy's biggest fan, but I felt a touch of pity for her by the end of it. Katie is just so... nice, and that's it. All she wants is for there to be some merriment and general appreciation, I suppose. You've written all of them perfectly, especially Pansy and Oliver. the argument between them was an excellent touch. I love that you didn't disregard canon. That was a nice tie-in. Also, Oliver still holding it against Draco makes it very believable. Honestly though, I'm not Pansy's biggest fan, but your portrayal was really accurate.

I also enjoyed reading about Olivia's relationship with Jason. She says she hates him, but I think she just hates all that he represents to her. She doesn't like his family, and probably the fact that she sense that her own family is broken or dysfunctional, while his isn't is probably fueling her need to hate him. I may be wrong, but I believe that will change over the course of the story :p Let's see if I'm quite the Seer. I also love the way you mentioned that he was so into Quidditch that he fails to notice all the attention he gets. That's very Oliver of him! Like this, a lot of your details were in the subtleties and that was fantastic!

Also, what is with Pansy giving her all those products? Eugh! Her father seems more nonchalant about everything in general. Also, it;s obvious that he didn't expect anyone to be fussed about the affair. Personally, I think Pansy was crying for because he cheater on her and not because he cheated, if that makes sense to you.

I'm a major ScoRose fan, so I might be secretly rooting for a Scorpius/Cassie break up (too soon?). But I won't moan if I end up liking Cassie :p

Overall, I really liked your characterisation, if you can't tell already. And your plot seems to be headed in a rather interesting direction. I'm curious to see what happens.

As for your pacing and flow, I don't think there's any issue. It was paced well and it was quite easy to read because of the flow. I know that the introductory chapters tend to come off as being very expository, in a forced way too. They end up reading like bio-datas and that's not very good. But yours wasn;t like that at all. You managed to ease the reader into the details and it really kept my interest. It was nice to find out little tidbits of information without it feeling like an absolute overload.

As for dialogue, I really don't need to say anything. I mean, you won a Dobby, for Merlin's sake! Congratulations on that, by the way and I am thankful that it has led me to your story.

I think I'll wind up now! This was a really nice read and I'll looking forward to finding some more free time so that I can get back to this soon! Great work :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thanks so much for such a lovely and thoughtful review! Sorry for the delay getting back to you. I really appreciate the time you've put into giving me such wonderful feedback.

There are aspects of this chapter I think I'll probably come back and edit, but I'm so glad you liked the things you've mentioned. I'm a little bit in love with most of these characters at this point so it's always lovely to hear that readers are enjoying them.

Writing the canon parents is really interesting. Katie, Oliver and Pansy weren't big enough parts in the books to have clear characteristics associated with them, so I can still have a bit of fun making up what they're like, but I definitely want them to believably be the same people they were in JK's work, so it's great to hear you thought that was successful.

And Jason! Yep, you're probably right, but Ollie's got a while left before she'll figure it out for herself. He's a lovely character to write anyway.

Thank you so much for such a wonderfully kind review! I'm really, really happy to hear that you're enjoying reading so far.

Much love,

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #20, by Roisin In Which Quidditch Is Played

3rd October 2014:
What a great chapter! Your Quidditch scene was amazing! I loved all the tools you used--switching between describing the action and Lucy's commentating. And the Slytherin Chasers' fake-out tactics were really genuinely clever, and super fun to read.

I got a little confused when you used the word "terms" though, because this story started during the winter hols, so Ollie would be in the second term of her sixth year. It makes sense mentioning Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin being "last term"--but not that Slytherin would be playing Gryffindor "next term," because that would be next school year, right? Anyway, you might do to switch out "next term" for "in [month]."

Otherwise, it was just marvelous. "Suspected abduction!" AH! My personal running theory right now is that Cass is pregnant, and that James might know something about what's going on, but otherwise, I have NO THEORIES. I'm just SO CURIOUS to see what happens! And it was super sad to see Scorpius so freaked out by the aurors--and it's really realistic that he would grow up feeling antagonized by law enforcement.

Also, "BRYCE"! I spazzed out a little when I read that!

Can't wait to read the next chapter!!!

xoxo
-Roisin

Author's Response: Roisin!

Thanks so much for coming back :)

I'm so relieved that people are enjoying the Quidditch. I didn't find it all that easy to write so it's great that it's convincing enough, and I really had fun writing it so it's good to hear you liked it :)

In the UK schools have three terms - the Easter holidays come between two separate terms. So the Gryffindor match is next term, after Easter. Maybe I'll find a way to clarify that though. I forget that people on here are from all over the world :)

Ooo I love hearing people's theories. It's always super interesting and I'm glad the story's making people think.

Haha, maybe it was an unintentional reference to YF? Your story's fabulous, it wouldn't surprise me if I subconsciously tried to fit mine in...

Thanks for the lovely review!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #21, by CambAngst In Which Quidditch Is Played

1st October 2014:
Hi, Emma!

Quidditch! Yay! I always love a good Quidditch match in a story. Nothing grounds a story in Hogwarts quite like Quidditch.

Poor Scorpius is such a nervous, twitchy team captain. He doesn't exactly have the most pliant team behind him, either. I can imagine Oliver Wood snapping and killing them all if this was his team. But it's not, it's the Slytherin team. I really loved the way the personalities interacted here. You did homogenize them a bit by position -- the goofy, irreverent Chasers; the angry, uptight Beaters; the calm, sage-like Keeper -- but their personalities were still distinct and very believable. I loved the way that the Chasers dispersed any of the build-up of intensity that Scorpius was trying to create.

I especially loved this line: Thereís no point trying to stop Joe being affectionate. It just confuses him. You don't typically think of Quidditch teams having big, cuddly hug-fests. It's a fun mental image.

One small choice of words that I thought was a bit awkward: I was still feeling like a terrible friend so it was easy for him to pressurise me into going with him. -- I would have said "pressure" instead of "pressurise".

I like Scorpius's unshakeable confidence that he was going to catch the Snitch. That's how a good captain leads.

I have nothing but good things to say about how you wrote the match, itself. I love it when a good author isn't afraid to dive into the action and capture some of the crazy, fast-paced activity. Also, you weren't shy about touching on the very real physical danger of the sport. I wasn't completely sure about the part where everyone stops to watch the Seekers dive after the Snitch. I would imagine that anyone who'd been playing the sport for a while would know better than that, but it worked alright in context.

You've brought up several times how uncomfortable Scorpius is around Aurors and others from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but it really came through clearly here. I had to twist my point of view around and remember that Teddy Lupin is not necessarily a "good guy" from Olivia and Scorpius's point of view. The Auror who was playing "bad cop" created plenty of menace to bump up the tension of the scene. Overall, I loved the effect.

I'm more curious than ever what has really happened to Cassie. If she hasn't really been abducted and she just decided to disappear -- say, maybe with Flint -- then I think you've done a perfect job of setting up the reasons why things will fall apart between her, Scorpius and Olivia. If she really has been abducted, I think Olivia will have a lot of guilt to deal with for not trying harder to mend things with Cassie before school started. Either way, I foresee a lot of drama. And I'm looking forward to it!

Nice job!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for coming back! I definitely owe you more than a few reviews for 'Detox' by now - I'll be there soon I promise.

Scorpius is a very interesting captain to write. He's a totally different character to Oliver but has some of that intensity, and I think leadership doesn't come completely naturally to him. But I'm really growing to love him as a character and it's fascinating to write him in these different situations.

I hadn't really realised I'd homogenised by position, but now you've mentioned it it's obvious - totally didn't mean to do that haha. But I'm glad you thought it worked.

Thanks for pointing out the strange wording. I'll fix that when I edit.

I'm so relieved you liked the Quidditch! I was very unsure about my writing of the match but it was good fun. I agree that people probably wouldn't usually stop to watch the snitch. I might work on that and find a more convincing way to finish the match. It was good fun to write though :)

Teddy Lupin is one of my all time favourites, despite how little we know about him. It's strange looking at him from the point of view of a Slytherin who doesn't really know him. But I'm happy to hear you thought it was effective.

And there will most definitely be lots of drama :)

Thanks for the lovely review!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #22, by TumTum In Which Quidditch Is Played

1st October 2014:
Hi Emma,

I am just in love with Ollie, she's so great. The way she cares so much about Scor and gets that last goal for him and is so happy to see him happy and in general is just a lovely sister person. So many fanfics are really romance centric and it's refreshing to have one where the friendships take such a prominent point in the protagonist's thoughts and life.

The fact that Ollie is so talented at quidditch is so exciting and a bit unexpected because it's not something she's ever said: "I am so good at this" which is really charming because she is clearly confident by the way she has talked about it and by the way she wasn't nervous before the game but not at all arrogant? I should have seen it coming because you dropped plenty of hints that she is devoted to the game... Maybe that confidence comes from being a chaser where teamwork really comes into play - you're not on your own. I really loved that mention of Ollie being as talented in her own way as Jason and their shared quality of being more graceful on the pitch than off it (which is so true omg she is very clumsy that's another reason that her talent on the pitch was a but unexpected). I also love that she has the same position as her aunt because I am rooting for them to have a better relationship. I am rambling but I am /really/ excited about this can you tell? It's just that Ollie seems to spend very little time thinking about herself and her own achievements compared to someone like Cassie who is apparently amazing and yet here she is with all these amazing talents.

Joe and Oz give me life omg. The combination of their dialogue alongside Ollie's thoughts and Scorpius' reactions is hilarious, just so so funny. Also they're so sweet and that cuddly nap with Ollie was adorable, I have a clear, lovely picture of it in my head that I want a drawing of. I said last chapter that I'm not really shipping anyone yet but gosh I would ship these two so badly! It seems that I would be off the mark though seeing as how Esther likes Oz and you would think she would know if they were together. It doesn't really matter to me, either way their friendship is great and they make me think of a few of the boys in my life. (I can think of a few instances of idiots running into each other's arms after the summer holidays).

By the way wow was this chapter a rollercoaster - straight from jubilation to dismay when the aurors arrived and took Scorpius straight off the pitch in front of the whole school. I was waiting for the s*** to hit the fan and was a little surprised that Cassie's disappearance hadn't made it to the papers last chapter. I would be very surprised if this story didn't make it to the papers this time.

You've done a really great job of hinting and subtly laying down the idea that Scorpius has an almost completely undeserved bad name both at school and in the press over several chapters so that now I am filled with dread. They are going to make out that he is guilty and even some of the aurors might hate his family because of the war - he'll feel the weight of it for his parents as well as for himself. He was so scared and my heart went out to him completely. At least Teddy was there, I hope he is helpful. And oh no Scor still has on his war paint. This has been the worst cliffhanger so far please don't leave us waiting long ^^;

As for Cassie... I was reading some of the other reviews and noticed a theory about her being pregnant... Now that I think about it. This makes a lot more sense than some of my crazy theories >"< ... But it doesn't explain why she has gone missing, not really, and it I am still curious. Also, is the father Scorpius??? (I know I know spoilers :P)

I wonder will this incite Ollie to take a more active role in trying to find out where Cassie is and if Cassie does have someone or many someones helping her to hide, will this stir their conscience? Or will this get swept back to the background again as life goes on for Ollie?

Margie xx

P.S. I'm curious, what date is the match? Have we moved onto February yet?

P.P.S. I am slowly building a picture of what Ollie looks like based off what she does and the way her parents are described in the books. I reckon she has straight brown hair, round brown eyes and an athletic build. I love that you haven't described her appearance because it lets me use my imagination. Also it's just really not that important is it?

P.P.P.S. gosh sorry for a long very rambly review I can't seem to write a short explanation of my feelings.

Author's Response: Margie! This review is so amazing I've been struggling to respond to it. Thank you thank you thank you!!

Friendships definitely take centre stage in this novel. I'm not sure why. I think in real life people's friendships are often more important to them than their relationships, at least at 16, and I want that to come across in 'Complicated'. Ollie's friendship with Scor and Cass has been the most important thing in her life at this point. I also just really enjoy writing her friendship with Scor.

And yes, Ollie definitely isn't arrogant. She worships her friends and it means she doesn't quite realise how good she is at the things she's good at. It's a big contrast with Jason (although we've not seen a lot of him right now). Ollie probably thinks she's selfish but she spends a lot more time thinking about other people than herself, and the Quidditch is supposed to show that.

Joe and Oz are so so much fun to write. I'm so glad people are enjoying them. I just love them.

Sorry about the cliffhanger.I couldn't resist.

And we're end of January/beginning of February kind of time at the moment.

Thanks so much for such an amazing review! I'm unbelievably flattered that you're enjoying this so much, and you're definitely one of my most valued readers :)

Emma xxx


 Report Review

Review #23, by Irishseeker In Which Quidditch Is Played

30th September 2014:
This was such a good chapter! I loved how we got to see some Quidditch in the story and an actual game, plus the Slytherin team playing-especially Olivia and Scorp!
The ending though, like what. OH MY GOD. I was not expecting that at all and I cannot wait for the next chapter that will hopefully come soon. hint hint. ;)
brilliant writing! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

I really enjoyed writing the Quidditch (but found it a bit difficult? Hopefully that's normal) and loved putting together the Slytherin team. Joe and Oz are my favourites at the moment.

And sorry sorry about the cliffhanger. Next chapter's written but I need to edit it a bit so hopefully it'll be up soonish :)

Thank you for taking the time to review! I really really appreciate it.

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #24, by Abigail In Which Quidditch Is Played

30th September 2014:
Please post another, like now, its sooo good I NEED MORE!!

Author's Response: Haha, the next chapter's written so I should be able to upload it soonish :)

Thanks so much for taking the time to review!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #25, by AdinaPuff In Which Quidditch Is Played

30th September 2014:
Emma!

Whoa I missed reviewing the last chapter. Sorry about that. I feel awful. Like I'm not a good follower haha

I love the team. So much. Oz and Joe and just everyone. I loved it. The match was eventful and extremely well written. There wasn't much Wottwr action, and while I love them, it's nice to have just Slytherin, to have a peek into the people she grew up hanging with rather than who she's been hanging with nowadays. This was probably my favorite chapter. I fell in love with Oz and Joe that much more. Like this was the moment, and now I am demanding (politely, of course) for more of them.

Another amazing chapter! I'll be waiting for the update!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Leigh!

Haha, don't worry about it at all.

Thank you so much for liking the Slytherins! I kind of love them too, and Oz and Joe are really really good fun to write. Definitely more on them later :)

Thanks for taking the time to review again! As always, it's brought a pretty big smile to my face :)

Emma xx


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>