Reading Reviews for Glass
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by victoria_anne Glass

23rd May 2016:
Hey hey hey!

How did you know I love Teddy? ♥ Don't you dare break my heart!
Ooh what a very angsty version of Teddy! (But I live for angst!) I hope he's not always like this! I've always thought he would have days like this where he's angry at the world for the hand he's been dealt, but it's not nice to see him take it out on others, especially little Dom :(

I love how Freddy still stays by him, no matter how Teddy is acting. Teddy has a harder shell than a turtle!

It ends on a hopeful note - I like that! But you officially cracked my heart all the way through that, wah! :(

Beautiful work Gab, if a little dark! ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by!

I didn't know that you loved Teddy, which means that you must go back and read Transparent. :D

I love writing an angsty version of Teddy, he's usually not very chipper. He's not a very nice person in general but when he goes into a mood like this, he takes it out on everyone.

It's really sad.

Freddie is a great friend but Treacle Tart pointed out in that amazing way of hers that he's an enabler too. Teddy is a hard person to like and he's always on his guard.

Thank you for this lovely review!

Much love,


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Review #2, by fwoopersong8 Glass

31st October 2015:
Hey Gabbie, I'm here for our review swap!

I liked this story a lot. You did a really good job with the imagery, and I could definitely form a picture in my head of what it would look like and feel like to be there. And darn you, now I want to go the beach.

I think your portrayal of Teddy was very realistic for someone in his situation. Andromeda's feelings make total sense. Also, I hadn't really considered that a lot of the hate for the Malfoy family would come from reminders for a lot of students...that's interesting...and very useful...hmm... (Malfoy-obsessed brain turning this over) :)

I also really liked his relationship with Fred II. It seemed very real, how their conversation went from casual to tense and back again. And as for Dominique...I wonder, what exactly happened with the pigs that caused her to form that stutter? I really like your descriptions of her, too. An ice queen... LET IT GO, LET IT (sorry, impulsive Frozen moment). I really enjoyed that though, and I'm sad that her parents neglected her. :(

As for CC, I caught a few typos here and there...I don't remember all of them. I think you used "piece" for "peace" once. Also, sometimes when Teddy and Fred II were talking, their pronouns (he, his, etc) got a little confusing because I couldn't figure out which "he" we were referring to. Other than that, though, I don't have much to complain about. :)

And then Teddy goes to drown himself! Poor guy. :( I wonder, if Dom hadn't shown up, if he would have followed through with it. Something makes me think he wouldn't, but I can't be sure. I'm glad Dom showed up. Teddy should be thankful for such a good family.

And augh! I still can't get all this imagery out of my head! I totally had beach flashbacks...I have a sort of love-hate relationship with the beach because it's beautiful and breathtaking but also it's sticky and hot and gritty. But your story makes me want to go find a beach to sit on. Right. Now. Argh.

Thanks for the great read! :)


Author's Response: Hey, there!

Thank you a thousand times for this swap and I'm sorry for just now replying! :)

I am so glad that you liked the imagery, a lot of people commented on that and I hope you go to the beach! Muahahaha.

Now, a lot of people have never rad a Teddy like this before so they weren't sure what to make of him but I think that he fits with how I've made his life. I think Andromeda's feelings make sense too after what she went through but Teddy's hatred of the Malfoy's in gernal stems from the fact that they're happy and he isn't.

Fred is like, everyone's best friend. I wanted him to come across as a real teen and I'm glad that you were able to get a good grasp of their friendship. He's not nearly as cynical or mean as Teddy so they balance one another out. You would have to read Transparent to get a better understanding of Dominique and that pig incident.

Teddy thinks of her as an ice queen and I think I just liked playing off of the fact that she's pale, blonde and a little snooty to him. I shall have no Frozen here! *shoos you away*

There are quite a few typos and disasters in this, I don't know why I haven't edited it.


Teddy nearly drowning himself made people so upset but I'm glad that he didn't do it, I'm not so sure that he would have changed his mind though.

I totally love the beach but I can understand why you would hate it. Hahahaha.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #3, by carry on with your knitting Glass

25th September 2015:
Gabbie! :D

I'm here for our swap :)

Oh my goodness the Teddy Lupin feels! I'm such a sucker for a tortured soul and you have definitely made me fall in love :')

It's heart breaking that be blames his dad from the bad things in his life, like Remus tried so hard and fought for him, but he resents him still, even if doesn't want to, it's brutally honest, but then again I think that's the way your Teddy is: honest, no matter what it's about!

I love that it links in with your other Dominque story! is he developing feelings for her? Or is he just jealous that she appears more human than him?

I hate that Teddy hates himself :( I just want to go into your story and hug him!! and maybe give him a little kiss to... what?

He's so fiery and quick tongued and just a general loose cannon, but I love characters like that! I get the feeling for him that he does those things to feel alive, which is heart wrenchingly beautiful and sad!

I love this, which isn't a surprise because I love your angsty wonderfulness that is your stories! I must read more of you Teddy!

Much love!

Katie :)

P.s. Please can you write me into the story so I can be the girl Teddy needs and we can love each other and have beautiful children and get married and skip of into the sunset together and live happily ever after? I know it's a long shot... I want to be the one to save him!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for the great review, it was so lovely and it's always great hearing from you. :'D

I think a lot of people have a love-hate relationship with my version of Teddy. I couldn't picture him being very kind for some reason and a lot of his anger stems from his resentment of his father. I think that says a lot about him, actually and I'm glad that you like him! :D

This is a companion piece to Transparent so Dominique was going to show up eventually. :D I think that Teddy has a bit of an attraction to Dominique and he may be jealous of her too. I never even thought about that...

You know, Teddy is probably so mean because he DOES get a kick out of having a sharp tongue. It's probably the only way that he can feel alive. It's strange!

Thanks so much for this!


P.S.: I think that Teddy would be a dream come true as well but he would probably give you a hard time about saving him. Hahaha.

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Review #4, by TreacleTart Glass

25th May 2015:
Hi Gabbie,

I'm here for our review swap! I'm sorry this took me awhile, but this was a behemoth of a story to read. 11,000+ words.

I really like you're characterization of Teddy in this. You seem to really enjoy writing messed up men and Teddy certainly fits the bill. He is cold, uncaring, spiteful, and quite often straight up cruel, even when other people are being kind to him.

The scene with him and Dominique was brutal. I couldn't really understand why he seemed to hate her so much. I mean I get that she annoys him and that's fine, but he seemed intent on just destroying her and he doesn't stop until she's in tears and no longer wants to respond. It's pretty awful.

The ending was very bleak. It's really sad to think that as young as Teddy is that he'd want to drown himself. It's even sadder that Dominique seems to understand why. They're both so young to feel so badly about life. I also found the shift in Teddy's thoughts about her to be intriguing. First he hated her, now he's pondering if he actually needs her.

All in all, I thought this was probably the best story of yours that I've read so far. It flows smoothly. It's much more polished and your characters really feel fleshed out. Good job!


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back, I should have warned you that this monster was so long. I know that it took a long time to get through without wanting to strangle me. Haha.

I really love writing Teddy this way, I can't see him as a nice guy after how I've shaped his world. I like that he's this truly despicable person, it makes him more fun to write. Hey, I don't only make messed up men as characters! There are plenty of crazy women in my stories too, you just haven't read any of those yet. Hehehehe.

Oh, the thing with Teddy and his hatred of Dominique isn't quite hatred. It's more like she makes him uncomfortable, he has an attraction to her that he doesn't want or need and she sees through him far more clearly than most people would.

The final scene is actually something that I was really worried about. I was sure that it wouldn't be received well but you guys have been great! I thought that I'd pushed it too far but I've seen far too many young people fall victim to this and wanted to try and write something that was relatable. Oh, Dominique can understand Teddy's sadness very well. She feels it quite often herself but I don't go into detail here.

Yes, Teddy's thoughts shift into an odd place at the end of this. We're not quite sure what he means or wants but it leads me to loving the story more. :D

Thanks a lot!

Much love,


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Review #5, by wolfgirl17 Glass

9th February 2015:
Hey Gabby,

Ellie here with your requested review. Finally.

Ok, so you've got a few incorrect words. Like this:
"A brief amount of piece soothed him"

I think you meant peace.

Anyway, this whole story was pretty intense. So much angst!

Teddy comes off as being a massive jerk to everyone, and being so emotionally damaged that I kind of want to slap him and kind of want to hug him. I like that you had him realise life is worth living, but the fact that he has to have Dom to do it is a little concerning.

Anyway, cool story.


Author's Response: Hello!

I'm SO sorry that I'm late with this review but it's taken me forever to actually find the time to leave a response. There's a lot of angst in this story and while Teddy comes off as a major jerk, there's something about him that makes you love him too. Hehehe. There are a lot of issues with him that don't get resolved in this story but continue in "Transparent" so if you wanted to check that out, I'd be thrilled!

Much love,


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Review #6, by DarknessIsMyOnlyFriend Glass

5th October 2014:
Sorry it took me this long. I had the review almost entirely written and then my computer decided to stop working. Anyway here is the new and improved review!

I love your way of describing the scenery surrounding Teddy. It really creates images. I love that in a story.

I also love the restlessness you describe in Teddy, that makes him doubt himself and his feelings. The feeling that there must be more. More to him, more to life. I like the way you described that struggle in him. Knowing his life wasn't bad, but still feeling restless and unfulfilled.

Resenting his dad? That must be horrible, since he is viewed as a hero; there would be nobody to talk to about his resentment. After the first page I just saw this depressed young man in my mind, that felt the world had failed him, or he had failed it. Feeling that love took his parents and thus repulsed by it. Perhaps even feeling undeserving of it. Later on he even said that he only loved himself, while it is clear he loves himself least of all.

And Dominique stutters. And how cruel was Teddy to her about that! Ugh. But while he calls her an ice queen and himself heartless, it is clear from the start that she stirs something up in him he dislikes. As if she can bring out his kinder feelings and he feels the need to burn her down when she does.

I've always seen Teddy as a kind gentle character, probably because of how his parents were. But then, they did not raise him and in this story he was brought up in a much more toxic household. His mean and careless behaviour is fitting.

I really like Fred! He's a good friend and a very interesting character! He seems so realistic yet so unwaveringly optimistic. The perfect balance between his parents I think. And the kind of person that someone so afraid of his feelings, like Teddy, would need.

You made me feel so sorry for Teddy. He was so horrible to everyone and yet I felt for him. And the ending...the ending was perfect! All he needed to hear, it seems, was that somebody understands. He is not along in this darkness. That validation gave him life it seems and I love that!

And I love the little details about the other characters. Uptight Percy married to a stripper. Gave me a nice laugh!
George and Angelina's place being home. I think out of all the characters in the books, they would make that seem easy, creating a home.
And poor Andromeda, can you imagine losing everything and than getting a child to look after and having to keep going. That either breaths new life in you or makes you bitter. I like that you picked bitterness, since it's not the path I read often!
Or Victoire being the favourite child. Though it does seem slightly odd for a Weasley to neglect their children in favour of the another. Then again we learned very little about in Bill the books.

These details about side characters make this story whole, if you know what I mean. It creates not just a character but their world!

Your characters are very three-dimensional. They have flaws, which you readily point out early in the story, but you give them redeeming thoughts and actions just as quickly. For instance Dominique. Teddy calls her an ice queen and while you write about her in his opinion, you still show that she really isn't that.

Now this was much longer than I intended it to be but I just really loved reading this! It's a great story! Thank you for bringing this to my attention!

Author's Response: Hello!

There's a lot going on in Teddy's mind that I really love writing. He's a complex character and I like to delve into his heart more in this one-shot, he has a lot of things going on that he can't even understand himself.

His thoughts about love are really upsetting sometimes but you are right about being repulsed by it. He feels that no good can come out of loving someone, which is what he'll have to understand later on in Transparent (The story this is based on) that that's not necessarily true.

Dom stutters because of Teddy and he feels like it's not his fault. He's a creep, I know. Hahahhaa.

I always felt that Teddy had potential to be more than just a goody-goody. I think that showing the bitter side of life really works for his character and growing up with Andromeda in such a state has changed the way he views life. Resenting his father and loving his mother, what kind of person can he really be after that?

I was really nervous about the ending. I wasn't sure if people would understand or like it but I'm glad that its been so well-received.

Hahaha, Percy DOES marry a stripper.

George and Angelina are Teddy's parents so the part about him feeling like that was home was done to emphasize that. :D

I wanted to do something different for Dom's family and the "perfect" child angle worked better than some of my other ideas.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #7, by Aphoride Glass

29th September 2014:
Hey there! Sorry this is so late - I was making
dinner, and then my family called and I ended
up having long chat with them, but I'm here
now! :)

So, I have to say, I love your portrayal of
Teddy Lupin here. I love dark, unusual versions
of characters, and that's exactly what you've
done with him - turned the normal idea of a
happy, cheerful, popular Teddy on its head. I
love how he feels so much like a teenager, as
well - with the whole overload of angst and how
his feelings are so melodramatic, you know?
It's just so brilliant because it's exactly
like teenagers think, and it really gives such
an amazing insight into Teddy's mind. The
coldness, how he doesn't want to feel and
perhaps sometimes doesn't really feel the way
other people do, are such lovely little things,
too - he's such an original character! I know
I've said this a lot, haha, but it's true! :P

Dom was an interesting character, too. I
thought it a little strange how you described
her as haughty and almost very full of herself,
which suggests at at least a projected over-
confidence, and yet she has a stutter and in
all of her interactions with Teddy seems to
falter... it was an interesting combination of
things. I loved how you revealed at the end
that she understands him more than he thinks,
and how she struggles to feel in the same way
and doesn't want to feel in the same way... it
created this wonderful connection between them,
and this sort of bridge from which to build
understanding and friendship and so on, you
know? A really great little twist! :)

The only thing I'd say about this is that there
were a couple of times I got confused about the
scene change - time passing, especially. It
might be helpful to put in line breaks when the
changes happen, to make it clearer? Of course,
if you already have them in, feel free to
ignore me - I'm tired and I miss things easily
when I'm tired :P

Your writing in this is so good - I love the
way you use metaphors and description. It's so
evocative and sets the scene so well, with the
feeling of the water and the lights around and
making it all seem to real, like I could see it
in front of me.

So yeah, this was a really great one-shot - I
really enjoyed reading it! :) Again, sorry this
was late... :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by and don't worry about being late or anything like that! Family comes first!

So, I have read only a handful of stories that feature Teddy Lupin. I thought that it would be fun to turn him away from a goody goody because what's so great about a person that never makes any mistakes? I love writing characters that my readers might not even really like as a person but still understand them to some degree.

I was worried that it wouldn't come across very well though but you guys have been great! :D I think that Teddy has a lot of problems going on at the moment and I'm glad that they were realistic for you guys. I wanted to make him seem as original and real as I could but I worried that you all would find it a bit much.

Now, Dom on the other hand is someone that I wasn't sure if I would write very well at all. Teddy views her a lot differently than she does and while it's a bit odd at times, he thinks that her lack of emotion makes her arrogant. Dom though is the only one who knows how it feels to be a complete outcast and they were able to have a connection with that.

I think that I messed up on the second half of the chapter. It was taking me a long time to get back into the swing of things but the transitions were just a few hours at most, not an entire day. I could have wrote that better, though. Hahahahah.

Ah, thank you so much! I wanted you all to be able to feel and see every little thing and I'm glad that that worked. :D

Thanks so much for the great review!

Much love,


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Review #8, by Midnight spark Glass

25th September 2014:
Hey Gabbie! I'm finally here!

WHAT A MONSTER. Darling, I took two days to read this!

I can never look at Teddy the same way again. Never again. Never ever again.

Teddy is actually portrayed as a Saint in the stories, right? You brought out the Sinner in him, honey go and offer this as an entry to the Saint of Sinner Challenge!

You asked me whether I liked this Teddy or not. I have to say, I absolutely LOVE this Teddy. Which girl doesn't like a mysterious boy, eh? ;)

Characterization: I never expected to see this Dom. Dom has always been the I-am-the-center-of-the-universe sort of girl for me. That's another opinion of mine that you've changed.

I LOVE FREDDY!! It's cool that you made Freddy as Teddy's best friend and Lucy as Dom's. Opposites attract, right?

I love the ending. It was the most perfect one.


That's it, I guess. :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by with this awesome review! It took me about a week to write this, so I feel your pain. Hahahah.

Hahaha, Teddy has changed in the eyes of many. I wanted to make him as different as I could and he sort of turned into this...interesting thing. He's very easy to fall in love with on one hand and also not very likeable on the other.

I never could write Dome as very confident and for some reason, she's always been more of an introvert.

Freddie is my everything in this one-shot, he's such a nice guy. It does seem to make sense that Lucy would be Dom's friend and vice versa for the boys, it's strange who people latch on to like that.

Thank you so much! >_< I totally don't deserve it but you're so nice!

Much love,


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Review #9, by Moonyxluna Glass

15th September 2014:
Hey Gabbie! I'm here with your requested review! You're right, you've got quite a monster here! But I'm happy to hopefully be of some help to you!

Oh gosh, Percy marrying a muggle stripper. That's a plot twist. :D

I'm sort of curious right off the bat, because it seems like he's not too saddened/empathetic for his girlfriend just having broken up with him. I'm wondering how that will play in with the summary as you said he thinks he constantly feels like a disappointment.

Your imagery in the first few paragraphs is beautiful. I Really like Teddy in the first part, how he feels like the doesn't quite fit in, despite the Potters and Weasley's basically treating him like family. I feel like their families would do everything in their power to make him feel loved, but sometimes it just isn't enough for someone to hear.

He's got quite an interesting personality. I can really see where he doesn't feel like he quite fits in. I always sort of picture the Weasley/Potter family to be very close-knit, traditional, and it seems like Teddy is living a very fast, live in the moment, life here.

Oh boy, Dominique. It's got to be hard for Teddy to see someone he's always grown up as a family figure as something more. I'm interested to see how you'll play through this. I'm wondering where his cruel-ness towards her comes from? Is it a rebellious stage? Obviously it feels like something more. Kids are mean. Don't make fun of the kid with the stutter, Teddy!

His personal opinions of the Weasley family are very intriguing (I say 'interesting' too much so I'm trying synonyms :p) I love that he genuinely enjoys spending time with George's part of the family, and that he things that Bill and Fleur have a certain poise about them. It's neat to see the canon characters' story lines pushing through.

Oh gosh, what a cute little interaction. Gotta love the "I hate you, you hate me, I'm attracted to you" trope.

As far as your concerns with pushing Teddy too far, I don't think you should be worried. He does seem harsh, mean, and a bit dramatic, but that's how life is. No one is going to be perfect. (like, Hermione was bossy.) It's a character flaw and it's good to have them; it makes your characters more realistic and relateable.

He's seventeen and getting into bar fights? Oh, Teddy.

Is Teddy just being mean when he says she's no good at sports? Because after that a little while down it says she's on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so I'm wondering if that was a slip up or if he was just using an insecurity to be a jerk to her.

At half way through (I review as I go) I'm not really shipping them yet. I'd like to see a little bit of a change coming up with Teddy before I'd want him to be with her. He's a little bit too mean to her at the moment. I will keep reading!

I cheered for her a little bit when she snapped back that this was why no one really liked him. I'm glad she was able to stick up for herself when he was picking on her.

Your choice of having FredII be his best friend compliments Teddy really well. He seems like he can take all of the snark that Teddy throws his way, and level right back at him, and also calls him out when he's acting strange(for him). It's such a contrast to see Fred, who must have grown up around such happiness with his Dad's shop, to see him being friends with Teddy, the kind of downer.

I noticed one or two spots where you switched a dialogue tag with a period. They're very minor and I'm being nit-picky but this sentence: The idea was wrapping itself around... I think you should finish that off, and then start "Met a pretty girl..." and have that be a sentence itself. I think I saw one more but I went back to find it and I can't.

I think you handled Teddy's animosity/depression very well. Instead of just coming out and saying it you show it through how he behaves and it's very well written. Good work on that! Even if he is kind of a jerk you still make me feel for him, and want to know more about why he is the way he is.

It was a very heartwrenching moment in the water, him thinking about how his parents would take him in. SAd! (and very well written.) I don't know if you meant to do this, but him stuttering from the cold water was a nice touch to bring him level with Dominique.

Alright, I made it! Really, really brilliant work on this. You grasped depression in a mature way, and with the utmost respect. This was a really great read. I mentioned this above but Teddy was a very fascinating character to read. I'd read another chapter if you wrote one! Do let me know if you do :)

(Oh, and I totally get the friends thing! haha! I came back from a little writing hiatus and I feel like almost everyone I knew is gone!)


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for leaving me this monstrous review and I'm so sorry that I'm just now getting to responding to it. I have a difficult time breaking reviews like this into parts and I never feel like I give you guys justice. Hahahahah.

Let's do this!

Bwhaha, Percy married Audrey years ago and yes, she was a stripper. Hahahaha.

I think that Teddy is a really interesting character to write. He's every bad thing that you might have ever felt all in one person and I really enjoy writing him sometimes. I don't think he was attached to his girlfriend enough to care that they had just broken up but there's something about him that girls can't leave alone.

Teddy doesn't care what he does with his life so it's very strange that he would be so against being close to anyone, including his family. Well, you know, the Weasley's and Potters.

Ah, Teddy's relationship with Dom doesn't really develop much here in this one shot but his animosity towards her is a hint of something more. Hehehehe. You can read more about them though in "Transparent" if you were curious.

Dom's not into sports so that was why Teddy was making fun of her about it. I think Dom has just enough spunk to keep up with him and he wasn't at all prepared for that but it was sure fun to rub that in his face a little bit. Hahahaha.

You should ship Teddy and Fred. Hahahaha.

Fred is Teddy's best friend and knows him better than anyone else. I don't think he can be pushed away as easily as someone else might have been when it comes to Teddy's attitude. He's like a big ball of sunshine.

Depression is a hard thing to write and while I can get a grasp of it, what I wrote here doesn't seem to really get that much into how dangerous it can be. Teddy nearly hurt himself but there are so many other layers when it comes to depression, I was worried that I hadn't written this right.

Teddy's a jerk but he's kinda likeable? Hahaha.

Tidal Dragon said the same thing about him stuttering after he came out of the water too. Hahahhaah. It was a good contrast I think.

THanks so much for stopping by and I hope you come back for more of my stories, I'll be re requesting. :D

Much love,


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Review #10, by simplelullaby Glass

28th July 2014:
Hey there, it's simplelullaby from the forums here with your review, finally! I've got to say I was a bit intimidated by the large word count, but it really didn't feel like 11000 words! Brill fic :)

Okay, on to your review now.


I literally cannot find anything. You're technically perfect!


Okay, your version of Teddy Lupin is now my guilty pleasure. I know that if I met him in real life I'd hate him, but getting into his head, you writing him as a "cold hearted b," all the while with him proving that he isn't that as much as he pretends to be. Amazing. He's intricate, annoying (especially in the first Dom/Teddy interaction with the beach ball), a real character. The impression I got from him was that he's given up showing his feelings, his nice side because its too much effort when he eventually gets let down. So he puts up this shield, and it's been up so long he doesn't know how to lower it again.

What gave me this impression was your characterisation of Fred the most. He's such a good guy, and its obvious from the way you write their dialogue and Teddy's asides that Teddy really wants to be like him, but feels like that is something he can never be. I like that while cold, heartless things are coming out of Teddy's mouth, he's thinking these really deep things. It's totally a reflection of people we all know and try to help.

Sometimes we're Teddy, sometimes we're Fred. :P

Dominique was also very unique. I love that you haven't taken the cookie-cutter next gen model and just twisted it a little bit. Victoire didn't get much light in this one-shot, but I gathered very much that she and Teddy DO not like each other. Your description of Dom's ocean-grey eyes, the way that she reacts to Teddy's VERY mean remarks about her, its all making her a very interesting character. One thing I would say was that in the first Dom/Teddy interaction with the beach ball, you mention Dom's blushes a LOT, so much that it seems like a little repetition.

Oh, and a little aside her, stripper-Audrey is now my fave version of Audrey.


Well I haven't read, your other fic that joins with this one, but that means I can tell you with full confidence that this works well as a standalone piece! I particularly loved the beginning and the end, they were both really strong and I wouldn't change any of it. Teddy needed to be introduced in his little asides, memories, and muttering to himself. The end was literally haunting, for a moment I thought you were actually going to kill him. The description was chilling, his dialogue with Dom at the end (her innocently picking seashells and seeing him there was another example of your excellent attention to detail) was the best of the entire fic.

What I thought was a little fast was Teddy's "epiphany" about Dom. At the beginning he was noticing little things about her, and then at the end it was suddenly BOOM she's amazing. It was a very sudden swing in so few words, when at the beginning he saw her as cold hearted and an "ice queen." Maybe add some history other than that, little moments when she had caught his eye before to flesh out their relationship a little more? Still, even saying that, whatever you do don't change the ending! It was brilliant.

The weakest part of the plot, I thought, was the dinner and the conversation with Fred. The dinner seemed like you put it in just to have a reason for them all to be together on that day, nothing too significant happens which kind of interrupts the flaw. Similarly, the conversation with Fred kind of drags on a little. Though it is brilliant at the start, very necessary to see Teddy being human towards another human, towards the end of that section I started to get a little antsy.


Your setting description is spectacular. I think that what made this fic so special is that I could see the space around your characters in my head - that is to say that they weren't two characters floating around in space. I could see the beach, the dinner, the fireworks, and at the end the moon glittering off the sea's surface. That's what made your fic so brilliant, your setting description. As a self-confessed setting fanatic, it was lovely to read a fic where you've paid attention to detail so much! Brilliant!


Well, it is amazing. Your characters are well thought-out and real, Teddy and Dom (and Audrey) the highlights. Your setting is spectacular, and your plot for the most part flows effortlessly. A few wee tweaks here and there maybe, but nothing major.

I'll definitely be reading Transparent now :)

Feel free to re-request if you have another fic or one shot, if they are anything like this I'll love it

Keep Writing



Author's Response: Hello!

Goodness, this review is so monstrously awesome that I don't know if I'll be able to do it justice!

I'm glad that you liked the contrast between Teddy and Fred. I meant to do that on purpose to show just how different the two boys were from one another and for some reason, this version of Teddy is a lot of people's favorite. I'm not sure how that happened but you guys are just fantastic! Anyway, Fred and Teddy are brothers and while Teddy isn't easy to be around, they have a bond that allows them to overlook a lot of their issues. I loved writing them together and its good to see Teddy softening up a bit here and there. Well, before I ruin his mood. >:D

Dom is about as different from what I've read (And I haven't read a lot) as I could possibly make her. I couldn't write her as being like her mother or sister, she just sort of started to grow on me little by little until she just sprang to life. Yes, I noticed she blushes a lot and I'll go clean that up. I only notice things like this until after they're in the queue. D':

I didn't like the dinner scene and I dragged a lot during Teddy's conversation with Fred to get back into the groove. I had no idea what I was doing by this point but by the time I got to Teddy actually, almost harming himself, I got back into the swing of things.

I'm glad that you liked that scene because it was not easy to write! I was really worried about how that would be received but you guys have been great!

Oh, Teddy's sudden epiphany about Dom was going to go on for a bit longer but I'd already bloated this chapter a bit too much so I never included those scenes. I might make a second chapter to this though so that I could clear that up!

I'm all about detail so I'm glad that you liked the setting and characters! :D

Thank you so much!

Much love,


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Review #11, by TidalDragon Glass

16th July 2014:
Howdy Gabbie! First off, sorry I'm late - so you're entitled to free review as promised in my thread. Just PM me whichever other story you'd like a review on and I'll take a look.

As far as this story goes though (and you know I'm normally long-winded), I thought it was brilliant. The characterization of Teddy was similar to that which we see in Transparent, but looking at things from Teddy's perspective was very interesting. We get a deeper appreciation for why he is the way he is. What I found particularly interesting about this was how through all his denials of having emotion, he actually reveals the intensity with which feels the singular "emotion" or feeling you lead with - emptiness. I definitely liked the Teddy you've crafted from this angle much better than in Transparent though (and I'm interested to see - since this is a companion piece - where it fits in the scheme of that story).

I thought the second half of the chapter was mixed. I'll confess in the early part of it (essentially the middle of the story) I began to feel a slight sense of things dragging on. I wasn't sure how this one-shot was going to track in terms of plot and so I was wanting to press on and get a sense of that. However, after it got past that point, where Fred (II) started laying the truth on Teddy instead of simply "letting him be" I could see where we were headed based on the beginning and where Dominique would tie in.

What I thought was particularly excellent was the ending. I know it was literally caused by the cold and shivering, but it was superb the way you made Dominique the assured one in the situation and turned Teddy into the stammerer. It was a delicious reversal and I think it was a great part of the transition to Teddy suddenly realizing that Dominique is what he years for. It's interesting because even though she is far more timid and generally nicer than Teddy, they are similar in their loneliness and I think that could be potential ground for a connection. I hope Teddy snaps out of it and shapes up after these events though. Maybe Dominique will do him some good.

TL;DR - Impeccably written, wonderful word choice, middle was a bit sloggy, but the ending was brilliant. Great work!

Author's Response: Hello!

TidalDragon, its good to see you finally! I was beginning to think that you were hiding from me. Hhhaa. I already sent you a message about a story that I'd like you to check out, hope I hear from you soon! :3

Now, I was expecting you to hate this one-shot. I thought, "Man, he is going to rip me a new one for this mess." So I'm really thrilled and VERY shocked that you liked it so much. That makes me feel SO much better about it because I wasn't at all confident when I posted it.

Anyhoo, I had the idea for this one-shot for a while but it took AGES for me to write it because frankly, Teddy Lupin is a headache. He's a difficult person to grasp but I managed to stuff all of his issues in pretty well. The lack of emotion that he feels is interesting but also sort of a shield against himself and what he has to face. He feels very strongly and that's something that he can't accept.

This hasn't been mentioned in Transparent but I'm going to work it into the next chapter so that it won't just be floating around on here. Dominique might not want to be as eager to remember it as Teddy, I think? Haha.

OKAY. I hated this second half. Let me be HONEST with you! I thought about scrapping the entire story, I struggled so much through it but what I loved was the bond that Fred has with Teddy. Their differences were fun to write but it did slog on a bit too long and I was getting bored, hence the ending that I wrote.

I was trying to push Teddy into looking at Dom in a different light...perhaps even noticing her as a woman instead of a little girl and I think I pulled it off. And oh, how wonderful was it to see Teddy being the weak one for a change? I totally did that on purpose. Cause...I'm evil.

And petty. Hahahah.

Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review and I hope that we continue to chat like this. I'll have to check out your own work soon but in the meantime, have some candy...

Much love,


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Review #12, by crestwood Glass

12th July 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here with your requested review!

Well, this is a much different Next-Gen than I've read in the past. For starters, I've never seen Percy and Audrey written how you've described them. Apparently she's changed him a lot. Dominique's stutter being a result of a mean prank Tedddy played in the past is fascinating. She seems like she has a lot of emotions bubbling right under the surface but doesn't know how to express herself.

Teddy himself is even more intriguing, which is good, considering that this is mostly a character study of him. His actions and fencing off of his emotions seems to be a result of his parents obviously being gone before he ever really got to meet them. He kind of feels like he doesn't fit in with the Potter/Weasley's and resents Remus as well. And at the end he and Dom get to share one last incredible scene together as she catches him in the act of what seems like an attempt at his own life. Luckily, she's able to understand, rather than judge. This story gets incredibly in depth about his past and how it's affected the way he behaves. You've struck all the right chords here. Excellent writing and very unique way of looking at the Next-Gen! Thank you for your request!

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to get back to you but here I am!

I've been told that this is really different for Next Gen! I wonder if I've been a little too bold? Hahah. Ooh, Percy and Audrey are a lot different from canon in my stories and they're really strange but Percy himself is a little...odd anyway in my stories. It wasn't all Audrey! Hahah.

Dom's stutter is the resort of something Teddy did to her and for some reason that character trait was something that I wasn't able to NOT right. She just always came to me that way. She has a lot of emotions but I think that she's scared of expressing herself.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. I wasn't sure how this would be received to be honest, I didn't think that I had made him very likeable and I wasn't sure if people would be able to stay interested in his character. He has a lot of resentment for his father and his own attitude towards life and I think that he's to the point where he won't try to change.

Now, that last scene. I wasn't sure if I was going to keep it. It was sort of weighing on me and I'm glad that you were able to like it and feel the connection that Dom had with Teddy. The attempt at his own life was hard to write for me, it was one of the main reasons why I wasn't sure if I would keep this ending. D':

I love writing Next Gen and I'm so happy that this has been such a positive reading experience for you guys!

Thank you so much for the review!

Much love,


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