Reading Reviews for Glass
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by simplelullaby Glass

28th July 2014:
Hey there, it's simplelullaby from the forums here with your review, finally! I've got to say I was a bit intimidated by the large word count, but it really didn't feel like 11000 words! Brill fic :)

Okay, on to your review now.

Technical:

I literally cannot find anything. You're technically perfect!

Characterisation:

Okay, your version of Teddy Lupin is now my guilty pleasure. I know that if I met him in real life I'd hate him, but getting into his head, you writing him as a "cold hearted b," all the while with him proving that he isn't that as much as he pretends to be. Amazing. He's intricate, annoying (especially in the first Dom/Teddy interaction with the beach ball), a real character. The impression I got from him was that he's given up showing his feelings, his nice side because its too much effort when he eventually gets let down. So he puts up this shield, and it's been up so long he doesn't know how to lower it again.

What gave me this impression was your characterisation of Fred the most. He's such a good guy, and its obvious from the way you write their dialogue and Teddy's asides that Teddy really wants to be like him, but feels like that is something he can never be. I like that while cold, heartless things are coming out of Teddy's mouth, he's thinking these really deep things. It's totally a reflection of people we all know and try to help.

Sometimes we're Teddy, sometimes we're Fred. :P

Dominique was also very unique. I love that you haven't taken the cookie-cutter next gen model and just twisted it a little bit. Victoire didn't get much light in this one-shot, but I gathered very much that she and Teddy DO not like each other. Your description of Dom's ocean-grey eyes, the way that she reacts to Teddy's VERY mean remarks about her, its all making her a very interesting character. One thing I would say was that in the first Dom/Teddy interaction with the beach ball, you mention Dom's blushes a LOT, so much that it seems like a little repetition.

Oh, and a little aside her, stripper-Audrey is now my fave version of Audrey.

Plot:

Well I haven't read, your other fic that joins with this one, but that means I can tell you with full confidence that this works well as a standalone piece! I particularly loved the beginning and the end, they were both really strong and I wouldn't change any of it. Teddy needed to be introduced in his little asides, memories, and muttering to himself. The end was literally haunting, for a moment I thought you were actually going to kill him. The description was chilling, his dialogue with Dom at the end (her innocently picking seashells and seeing him there was another example of your excellent attention to detail) was the best of the entire fic.

What I thought was a little fast was Teddy's "epiphany" about Dom. At the beginning he was noticing little things about her, and then at the end it was suddenly BOOM she's amazing. It was a very sudden swing in so few words, when at the beginning he saw her as cold hearted and an "ice queen." Maybe add some history other than that, little moments when she had caught his eye before to flesh out their relationship a little more? Still, even saying that, whatever you do don't change the ending! It was brilliant.

The weakest part of the plot, I thought, was the dinner and the conversation with Fred. The dinner seemed like you put it in just to have a reason for them all to be together on that day, nothing too significant happens which kind of interrupts the flaw. Similarly, the conversation with Fred kind of drags on a little. Though it is brilliant at the start, very necessary to see Teddy being human towards another human, towards the end of that section I started to get a little antsy.

Setting:

Your setting description is spectacular. I think that what made this fic so special is that I could see the space around your characters in my head - that is to say that they weren't two characters floating around in space. I could see the beach, the dinner, the fireworks, and at the end the moon glittering off the sea's surface. That's what made your fic so brilliant, your setting description. As a self-confessed setting fanatic, it was lovely to read a fic where you've paid attention to detail so much! Brilliant!

Overall:

Well, it is amazing. Your characters are well thought-out and real, Teddy and Dom (and Audrey) the highlights. Your setting is spectacular, and your plot for the most part flows effortlessly. A few wee tweaks here and there maybe, but nothing major.

I'll definitely be reading Transparent now :)

Feel free to re-request if you have another fic or one shot, if they are anything like this I'll love it

Keep Writing


~Aimee~

(9/10)

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Review #2, by TidalDragon Glass

16th July 2014:
Howdy Gabbie! First off, sorry I'm late - so you're entitled to free review as promised in my thread. Just PM me whichever other story you'd like a review on and I'll take a look.

As far as this story goes though (and you know I'm normally long-winded), I thought it was brilliant. The characterization of Teddy was similar to that which we see in Transparent, but looking at things from Teddy's perspective was very interesting. We get a deeper appreciation for why he is the way he is. What I found particularly interesting about this was how through all his denials of having emotion, he actually reveals the intensity with which feels the singular "emotion" or feeling you lead with - emptiness. I definitely liked the Teddy you've crafted from this angle much better than in Transparent though (and I'm interested to see - since this is a companion piece - where it fits in the scheme of that story).

I thought the second half of the chapter was mixed. I'll confess in the early part of it (essentially the middle of the story) I began to feel a slight sense of things dragging on. I wasn't sure how this one-shot was going to track in terms of plot and so I was wanting to press on and get a sense of that. However, after it got past that point, where Fred (II) started laying the truth on Teddy instead of simply "letting him be" I could see where we were headed based on the beginning and where Dominique would tie in.

What I thought was particularly excellent was the ending. I know it was literally caused by the cold and shivering, but it was superb the way you made Dominique the assured one in the situation and turned Teddy into the stammerer. It was a delicious reversal and I think it was a great part of the transition to Teddy suddenly realizing that Dominique is what he years for. It's interesting because even though she is far more timid and generally nicer than Teddy, they are similar in their loneliness and I think that could be potential ground for a connection. I hope Teddy snaps out of it and shapes up after these events though. Maybe Dominique will do him some good.

TL;DR - Impeccably written, wonderful word choice, middle was a bit sloggy, but the ending was brilliant. Great work!

Author's Response: Hello!

TidalDragon, its good to see you finally! I was beginning to think that you were hiding from me. Hhhaa. I already sent you a message about a story that I'd like you to check out, hope I hear from you soon! :3

Now, I was expecting you to hate this one-shot. I thought, "Man, he is going to rip me a new one for this mess." So I'm really thrilled and VERY shocked that you liked it so much. That makes me feel SO much better about it because I wasn't at all confident when I posted it.

Anyhoo, I had the idea for this one-shot for a while but it took AGES for me to write it because frankly, Teddy Lupin is a headache. He's a difficult person to grasp but I managed to stuff all of his issues in pretty well. The lack of emotion that he feels is interesting but also sort of a shield against himself and what he has to face. He feels very strongly and that's something that he can't accept.

This hasn't been mentioned in Transparent but I'm going to work it into the next chapter so that it won't just be floating around on here. Dominique might not want to be as eager to remember it as Teddy, I think? Haha.

OKAY. I hated this second half. Let me be HONEST with you! I thought about scrapping the entire story, I struggled so much through it but what I loved was the bond that Fred has with Teddy. Their differences were fun to write but it did slog on a bit too long and I was getting bored, hence the ending that I wrote.

I was trying to push Teddy into looking at Dom in a different light...perhaps even noticing her as a woman instead of a little girl and I think I pulled it off. And oh, how wonderful was it to see Teddy being the weak one for a change? I totally did that on purpose. Cause...I'm evil.

And petty. Hahahah.

Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review and I hope that we continue to chat like this. I'll have to check out your own work soon but in the meantime, have some candy...

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by CassiePotter Glass

13th July 2014:
Gabbie this was incredible! I am so blown away by the quality of this story! Teddy has always been one of my favorite characters that you write, because the way you characterize him is so unique, and this totally reinforced that feeling for me! He is so complex, and has so many sides to him that he doesn't let people see. I find him really fascinating because you've done such a wonderful job making his character so detailed!
Getting some insight into his thoughts in Dominique was awesome! I love how much she vexes him, especially because she isn't even aware of it. They're both just trying to deal with one another, and it's so interesting to read that dynamic! Reading this after having read the chapters of Transparent that are up, it's funny to see that Teddy sees Dom as annoying and arrogant which is just like the way she views him! They are so much more similar than they realize and I can't wait for them to realize that so you can explore that some more. Speaking of those two, when are you going to tell us what Teddy did to her to make her stutter? I'm so intrigued, especially because Dom totally blames Teddy and he thinks things are partially her fault.
I loved reading Freddie and Teddy together! They have a fantastic friendship, and their dynamic is another that I just adore. Teddy isn't easy to be around, and yet Fred is still really close to him while maintaining his own sense of fun and happiness. The differences between the two are so huge, but they can still be like brothers, and I really love that. Hopefully Freddie can get through to Teddy at some point and actually get a real reaction in return, since Teddy tends to shut down and get angry whenever feelings come up.
I loved getting to know more about Teddy's feelings towards his grandmother! I hadn't thought about how hard it would be for him growing up with someone who's been affected by so much tragedy. It was really interesting to me that his parents' deaths and his grandmother's sorrows is a lot of what surges his hate for Benjamin. The depth to that is so well done!
The end of this story was most definitely my favorite part. I was actually really worried for Teddy when he started walking out into the water, and I really didn't expect Dom to go after him like that! And once she did show up, I never thought he'd come back to shore with her waiting there for him. I loved the connection they had at the end of the story, and that it made Teddy see Dom differently. I can't wait to see how that change affects them in the future!
This story was absolutely phenomenal, Gabbie! This was really brilliant writing! Wonderful, wonderful job! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello there!

I'm sorry that its taken me such a long time to reply to your review, I've been pretty busy and everything lately for some horrible reason. Hahaha.

I'm glad that you liked this so much because I wasn't sure if this would go over well, I had thought that I was pushing the limits a little too much with this one. Teddy is a difficult character to write for and I wasn't sure if this would go over well and it took me a long time to finish writing this. I actually wrote this over two months ago if you can believe it!

I wanted to get into Teddy's head and see how he feels about Dom since we always get her side of things from reading Transparent and its funny how they're so similar. He finds her so aggravating and annoying and she thinks the same thing about him, its an interesting look into their future relationship I think. Neither of them will like how similar they are but I can't wait to write those scenes, I sort of have an idea for a major part in the next chapter but I'm still fleshing it out. D':

I will explain what Teddy did to make Dom stutter in the next chapter I think, so many people kept asking me about it and it needs to be done. Hahah.

Fred and Teddy are basically blood brothers, there's not too much that they wouldn't do for each other. I wanted to do a bit of a contrast to show just how different they were and what sort of turmoil was going through Teddy as he talked with Fred, who tends to be the sort of person anyone can just lean on. I think that no one can really get through to Teddy besides Fred but even he can be pushed back when Teddy feels like he's being threatened.

I hadn't explored Teddy's feelings towards his grandmother much but I thought that growing up in a place with so much grief couldn't have been healthy all the time. And, of course, it is a major reason for why he hates Benjamin but that's a story for Abandon, I didn't have too much time to put it into this story. Hahha.

Teddy's near-suicide was difficult to write because I wasn't quite sure if I would be able to go through with it. I am glad that it was so well-received, however and I hope that you all will forgive me for scaring you nearly to death. Hahaha.

Dom's reluctance to leave Teddy changed something between them and I think both of them were surprised by it. They're in for some surprises...

I think that I'll have to mention this in the next chapter for Transparent too, just to clear up a few things about it since it is a companion piece.

Thanks so much for your review, as usual, you're the best! :')

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by crestwood Glass

12th July 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here with your requested review!

Well, this is a much different Next-Gen than I've read in the past. For starters, I've never seen Percy and Audrey written how you've described them. Apparently she's changed him a lot. Dominique's stutter being a result of a mean prank Tedddy played in the past is fascinating. She seems like she has a lot of emotions bubbling right under the surface but doesn't know how to express herself.

Teddy himself is even more intriguing, which is good, considering that this is mostly a character study of him. His actions and fencing off of his emotions seems to be a result of his parents obviously being gone before he ever really got to meet them. He kind of feels like he doesn't fit in with the Potter/Weasley's and resents Remus as well. And at the end he and Dom get to share one last incredible scene together as she catches him in the act of what seems like an attempt at his own life. Luckily, she's able to understand, rather than judge. This story gets incredibly in depth about his past and how it's affected the way he behaves. You've struck all the right chords here. Excellent writing and very unique way of looking at the Next-Gen! Thank you for your request!

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to get back to you but here I am!

I've been told that this is really different for Next Gen! I wonder if I've been a little too bold? Hahah. Ooh, Percy and Audrey are a lot different from canon in my stories and they're really strange but Percy himself is a little...odd anyway in my stories. It wasn't all Audrey! Hahah.

Dom's stutter is the resort of something Teddy did to her and for some reason that character trait was something that I wasn't able to NOT right. She just always came to me that way. She has a lot of emotions but I think that she's scared of expressing herself.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. I wasn't sure how this would be received to be honest, I didn't think that I had made him very likeable and I wasn't sure if people would be able to stay interested in his character. He has a lot of resentment for his father and his own attitude towards life and I think that he's to the point where he won't try to change.

Now, that last scene. I wasn't sure if I was going to keep it. It was sort of weighing on me and I'm glad that you were able to like it and feel the connection that Dom had with Teddy. The attempt at his own life was hard to write for me, it was one of the main reasons why I wasn't sure if I would keep this ending. D':

I love writing Next Gen and I'm so happy that this has been such a positive reading experience for you guys!

Thank you so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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