Reading Reviews for Rainfall
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crestwood King's Cross

16th September 2014:
Hey Leonore!

I am terribly late on getting around to this story. It seems like everything just blew up simultaneously and I was a little swamped. But, I like to think I make up for my tardiness by returning to review every chapter.

When I started reading this chapter earlier today, I was struck by this strong sense of deja vu. I was just reading lines and something was so familiar about them. I went to go see if you had put up a preview on the forums and then I looked through your comment on a thread about writing a blind character and I was sure that'd be it, but it wasn't. After a lot of confusion I realized that I had previously read this chapter months ago and forgotten to come back to review and read on! Really glad you requested this now because I've had the lines 'My throat's hard and painful, my eyes stinging. That's all they're good for, isn't it? Making me look like a baby' floating around my head for months and could not figure out where they were from or what character said them. I love the scene in which Hugo interacts with that Muggle kid, by the way. Excellent way to display his annoyance with how people treat him.

I'll tell you, I wasn't totally sure how this would work. I didn't know how well a story from the perspective of a blind individual would flow. It completely strips you of most writers' greatest tool, which is visuals. It does seem as though you've found some miraculous way to get around that though. You use touch, sound and even smell to give us some of the description you'd think we would miss out on. And in the rare case we need to understand what something looks like, there's always someone there to explain it to him. Which, is realistic as I spent a good portion of my childhood explaining what mundane objects looked like to my grandmother haha.

Okay, do you know someone who is blind? Or did you research somehow or what, because this is a really, really accurate portrayal. I've seen you talk about this story around the forums and I could tell that you were really passionate about it, but I never imagined that you'd have slipped into the mind of a blind child so effectively.

Hugo's home life doesn't really sound like something he particularly enjoys. I can understand why he'd want to sit in his room and write stories (beyond that being more or less what I do) because, as he tells it, when he spends time with his parents it becomes awkward. It would be unnerving to have a room be silent and not know if people are staring at you or watching everything you do or exchanging meaningful looks as they observe you. And not to mention how annoying it must be to have people constantly surprised that he has overheard their conversations they have when he is right near them! Obviously he'd listen more intently than someone with sight not the other way around. It just must be hard living like he does. I would love to see him at his Muggle school in which he feels like he fits in because everyone else is also blind. I'd like to see the change in him between feeling left out and feeling like he belongs.

Hugo is a very smart ten year old kid. Not in the sense that I feel as though you've written him too mature or adult-like though, he certainly still seems as though he is a child. Just a smart child for his age. I think having the disability he has necessitated some sped up maturity. As he has always had a disadvantage, he's always had to accept the unfair nature of life as far back as he remembers. I imagine that'd be a strange feeling to never be naive enough to imagine that the world as fair and just. Just a little thing I thought worth mentioning. I am rambling now, aren't I?

The point of all of this, is that you've written a spectacular opening chapter with a character and plot that is really difficult to pull off. I attempt to write some pretty challenging ideas myself, but I don't think I would have had the nerve to write this story, and for that I applaud you. This is endlessly intriguing and impressive and I can't wait to read further!

Author's Response: Hey!

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU SO SO MUCH, I am sitting here staring at this review and it has just made my day completely and now I'm going to walk around for the entire evening with this giant stupid smile on my face.

You've had that floating round your head? This response is going to consist of me giving up on sounding like an intelligent adult and just thumping my keyboard because asdfghjklkjhgfdsdlshilhdaiud

Oh, I love the scene with the muggle kid. The mood's so positive, and I wanted to bring it crashing down, and I think that scene did it perfectly. And actually for a start it's a reminder of the fact that other people treat him differently - and especially coming from a kid, who's likely to say what he's thinking and not be sympathetic or politically correct or anything.

Visuals. I miss visuals so much. I just wrote a one-shot, the first story apart from this one that I've really gotten into for months now (I've started a few and abandoned them half a chapter in and gone back to this novel) and it was just so nice to be able to use visual description and all my usual imagery! Writing from Hugo's POV is certainly restrictive, but I've had to find those ways around it and I'm actually really proud of my (visual-less) descriptions. And I think it's done my description in general wonders because I've HAD to think about senses that I wouldn't usually consider, and I don't think I'll end up suddenly forgetting them again when I leave Hugo and can use visuals again.

No, I don't actually know anyone who's blind. Not beyond blind adults I've seen on trains and in the streets. I come up with characters by imagining what it would be like to be in that situation, by considering all the factors and just thinking "what would my reaction be?" and actually I have a really good feel for Hugo's character now so I know how he reacts and how he thinks and the kinds of things he says. I don't know quite HOW I developed him, actually. I just sort of had this picture in my head and he grew and he was there as you see him in the story. Everything he says and does is just what seems logical and RIGHT to me. If that makes sense.

Yeah, I'm passionate about it, and I'm so so happy reading this and seeing that I've managed to pull it off and other people like it too and that it's not exactly standard but the risks are paying off and it does actually work.

Sitting in room writing. Yeah, that's what I do too. But then we sit in our rooms and communicating with other authors over the internet, while he sits there writing on his own (yeah, he's too young to be chatting to people over the internet, and it would be worrying if he was, but you know...) Yeah, I bet it would be unnerving to not know whether people are watching you and even whether they're still in the room if they're being quiet. Oh, you'll get to see him at his Muggle school later!

That's just what I feel about him, with the maturity! Everything I've thought about whilst writing you're mentioning now and it's amazing people are able to pick up on these things!

Rambling is the best. You may have noticed that I do it occasionally...

Thank you so much! I'm still grinning and I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think of the rest! I love this story and it makes me so happy when I hear that other people like it too and it's not just me.

Um, intelligent conclusion to response... *flails* THANK YOU!!!


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Review #2, by BellaLestrange87 The Slytherin Conspiracy

15th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

Hi Leo! First off, I apologize for any spelling errors. I'm on my phone.

This was an interesting chapter. Louis talking about the Slytherin conspiracy... I will admit I thought all the Weasleys would be in Gryffindor, but I guess it's not just Rose in another house.

So I'm 99% sure that Louis was joking, but Slytherins trying to take over would add a lot of conflict.

*laughs at Percy confronting the Muggle in pajamas*

I'm actually feeling sorry for Audrey. Maybe she has no talent for baking.

Rain on Christmas holidays? It must be a really warm Christmas - otherwise there'd be snow.

Great chapter though!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hey Olivia!

Oh, I can't imagine them all being in Gryffindor. Yeah, I know there's the Weasley=Gryffindor thing in Harry's time, but I can't imagine all the next-gen kids being there. It doesn't fit the characters I have for them in my head.

Yeah, Louis is a bit of an entertainer and a show-off, and he's amusing them all with crazy plans. If there's a Slytherin conspiracy (maybe there is, maybe there isn't), it might not involve setting the world on fire and colonising the moon...

Yeah, poor Audrey. Her talents lie in other areas, but she feels a bit like not baking makes her a bad Weasley woman.

Actually, rain in the Christmas holidays is common over here in England. Yes, there's this romantic picture, but I'm not sure I remember seeing a single white Christmas in my life. Maybe one... Snow's pretty rare, anyway - we often get a few inches in January, but it doesn't last long. A British winter is pretty different to, say, a Canadian one! (unfortunately) ;)

Thank you!

~ Leo xx


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Review #3, by Midnight spark The Slytherin Conspiracy

15th September 2014:
Hi there! It's me from the forums with your LONG LONG overdue review!
First of all, REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry for the delay! I just had no time at all!

Now on to your story: What an inspiring story! I've never actually read a story with Hugo as the main character, but I think I'm going to rethink that from now! The fact that Hugo is blind,but still he does everything others can do, and much much more brilliant than others really touched me!

And Rose is very brilliant! I really enjoyed reading about them when they were young, because I usually read about them when they are at least sixteen. So that was a great change.

I absolutely ADORE your writing style and pacing! Wish I could manage it.

Good job and thanks for the read!
Sana

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Review #4, by True The Slytherin Conspiracy

13th September 2014:
Hi! I've been binge-reading your story, and it's amazing! You've brought out all the emotions really well.

I love Hugo - you've portrayed him so well. the harp is a lovely touch! I like Rose too; insecure but still a bit annoying. Hermione and Lily are lovely as well.

Just something I picked up:
"It takes me a second to look across to Albus; he's staring at the floor in miserable silence." Now, I can understand that Hugo could pick up Al's miserable vibes, but how would he know that AL is staring at the floor?

Other than that, this story was great! Good job :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much!

I'm very fond of Hugo and I'm really glad you like him too. It's the first time I've really gotten into the main character's head in a novel and felt like I know them properly.

Ah. I totally didn't realise I'd written that. Eliminating visual description from my writing is perhaps the hardest thing about writing from Hugo's POV and I think I had a mind blank whilst speed writing during JulNo. Thanks for pointing it out - I'll fix it now.

Thank you so much, and I really hope you enjoy the rest! I put a chapter into the queue every Wednesday, just to let you know :)


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Review #5, by MargaretLane The Slytherin Conspiracy

13th September 2014:
*laughs* In my story, the family spend Christmas at the Burrow and Boxing day at the Grangers, but of course, YOU'VE GONE AND KILLED HERMIONE'S PARENTS, so that isn't possible.

*laughs at James is in the same year, but you wouldn't realise it* No, somehow I would imagine Molly as more mature than James.

Love the way you characterise James in a couple of lines. The way he repeats himself a lot and seems to think his pranks are funny kind of suns up how oblivious he is to the fact others aren't interested. And the fact he boasts about having to redo essays also gives an insight into his character. It's great to get these little details, when most of the characters are away at Hogwarts and we don't see much of them, so there is only the odd detail to let us see what they're like.

I like your Louis actually. I know he's only had a few lines, but he seems to have a sense of humour. When you said he was in Slytherin, I sort of imagined him as being like mine - not that there was any reason he should be, but it made me think mine would really fit Slytherin and I started imagining him that way. Yours seems nicer though.

Hmm, I wonder why Albus is miserable. Not going to hug him, because I doubt he'd like it much, but sympathises with him. I wonder if he's still worried about the house thing or if he just doesn't like the crowd.

*laughs* I can't spell, but I don't think that prevents me being a Ravenclaw. But yeah, nothing wrong with Hufflepuff; they're my second favourite house. I got Hufflepuff on the Pottermore quiz actually, but I don't think I really AM a Hufflepuff. I CAN be loyal and hard-working, but not particularly so, and I'm really only hard-working when it comes to academic stuff anyway, which is more Ravenclaw. I could probably spell antidisestlishmentarianism - I think that's right. My spelling is pretty erratic. I can spell words most people get wrong and can't spell some that are considered easy.

Calvinism brought to Scotland by John Knox. Is that taught in Britain? The Reformation is part of the Junior Cert. course here, but of course, Hogwarts kids wouldn't know Muggle secondary school history courses anyway.

This is why shops should not open on St. Stephen's day/Boxing day. *glares at Irish shops starting to do so*

And I REALLY like the idea of Fred being one of the quiet ones. Most stories, including my own, have him as a messer, so it's good to see a different characterisation.

I find it interesting so many of the Weasley kids are quiet, when the older generation certainly WEREN'T. Maybe that's why. Maybe a lot of them feel overpowered by their parents. I mean, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, George and Percy are all, in different ways, people who make their presence felt.

*laughs* There's also about three years between Fred and Roxanne in mine and they are also the youngest of the cousins, but Fred is about three years younger than Lily and Hugo.

I think your Hugo will be a Ravenclaw when he gets to Hogwarts. He seems to fit perfectly and he'd be really good at the riddles. He seems to have that kind of mind.

*grins* I'm glad Hugo had a pretty happy chapter here. It's funny. The last title sounded cheerful and wasn't and this chapter sounded ominous, but was much more cheerful.

And this is one of the most random reviews I've ever given.

Author's Response: YES, I KILLED HERMIONE'S PARENTS. I AM EVIL. *cackles*

A large part of this chapter is characterising all the other next-gen kids who we haven't really met yet. James is an idiot. Al's really quiet and withdrawn because he has difficulties with social interaction and being thrown in with all of these people - who are all very comfortable with each other - he's kind of withdrawn. He doesn't really know how to get involved in the conversation - at least that's how I'm trying to present it. He's not really bothered about the house thing any more, I don't think; it's the crowd that's bothering him.

I love Louis. I've seen him portrayed as pretty spiteful or aloof, especially when he's put in Slytherin, but I thought I'd make him kind of self-depreciating. He's still ambitious and proud of his house, and he fits the characteristics, but he's also popular and a bit of a joker. A bit of a show-off, actually, and very good with people.

I think I can see the Hufflepuff in you, but I'd say you're definitely a Ravenclaw! And no, it has nothing to do with spelling. Actually, your spelling is incorrect. It's antidisestABlishmentarianism. Anti-dis-establish-ment-arian-ism. Really hoping I haven't got any typos in there, because I keep checking. It's not that hard because it's made up of standard prefixes and suffixes, you just have to get them in order! But it's the longest word in the English language (medical terms don't count) which is why they made a thing about it. Can relate on the spelling front. My spelling used to be so much better before I started writing a lot, conversely enough.

No, that's not really taught here, though the name may pop up in one lesson in about the relevant section of the syllabus. And... urgh, I can't even remember most of the stuff we did before GCSE in History! Our GCSE was all 20th century stuff, and KS3 we did King John (Thomas Becket, Peasant's Revolt, and of course Magna Carta), Elisabeth I and the Spanish Armada, Empire and slavery, the Industrial Revolution, and WW1. There might have been a bit more, but if so I don't remember it. And stuff at Primary School wasn't in much depth. I think Al's just acquired the information somewhere or other, probably because he got interested in a particular book and read it and remembered it all. I picked the word by, um, looking for words that were hard to spell. There's no more meaning to my word choice than that!

Over here, all the large chains and even a lot of the small shops open on Boxing day. Some of them open EARLY for the boxing day sales to begin - not even normal Sunday opening hours (which are still limited by law). Can't remember whether it's 6am or 6.30 or something for some of them. CHARITY SHOPS open on bank holidays. Keep glaring at those Irish shops!

I think Fred doesn't like the expectations. He's been named after the other Fred, obviously, and he might often feel like George wants Fred to be like Fred Sr.. So Fred might feel a bit guilty, but also angry that his dad is comparing him to his uncle rather than accepting him in his own right. And George didn't just get over Fred Sr.'s death and move on. I've also read an amazing one-shot, can't remember who by, of Fred really struggling with the expectations on him as a result of people wanting to be like his uncle.

Yeah, overpowered, and also they've grown up in families with parents struggling to recover from the war.

Hugo = Ravenclaw. First prediction! Maybe, maybe not...

I find it hilarious when you start judging my chapter titles because you keep on making completely the wrong predictions! *laughs*

I will convert you to randomness. It might take a while, but I will win out in the end. Hey, you had a conversation with "Leo on a sugar high" yesterday, so I'm not sure how you can describe something as logical and thought-through as this review as "random"!

Thank you! *squishes in giant hug* :D


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Review #6, by lexiatel Live in Concert

11th September 2014:
Just wonderful! You're amazing at this!

I was kind of curious about the guide dog, and if you would actually introduce such into the story.

I knew it was a harp too! Funny, hmm... Anyway I LOVE harps **sighs dreamily**

I feel so bad for Hugo... and yet, he would hate me for it. :( Not like I would let him know it everyday.

I noticed something while I was reading...

There are other people arriving too, and I hold Mum's hard tight. - "hard" should be "hand"?

Rated 10/10 Keep up the fabulous job.

Author's Response: Hi Lexi!

Thank you so much!

Would I introduce a guide dog... hmm... you'll just have to wait and see!

I love harps too! Describing the sounds made by musical instruments is a pain, but at least I did well enough that you recognised it!

Hugo's not in the nicest situation, but he's not actually the person I feel most sorry for. There are characters in worse situations which I feel worse for. Doesn't mean I won't carry on torturing them but yeah... And Hugo would hate the idea that you felt sorry for him, and he's convinced everyone feels sorry for him anyway so you'd have to do a very good job of "proving" otherwise!

Thanks for pointing that out.

Thank you! I really hope you enjoy the rest too!

~ Leo xx


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Review #7, by DracosGirl012 Christmas Cheer

11th September 2014:
Poor Rose. I feel bad for her not having very many friends.
I really got a kick out of Ron's caroling though!! Too funny, and exactly what he'd do. I laughed at the hot-dog scene, lol. And I really liked the Christmas tree scene.
Anyway, brilliant chapter as usual! :)

Author's Response: Thank you :D
Yeah, poor Rose. She's one of those people who just has no idea how to fit in.
And Ron... oh, Ron... I love writing Ron.
So glad you liked it!
~ Leo xx


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Review #8, by MargaretLane Christmas Cheer

9th September 2014:
*laughs* Your James seems a little like mine on first glance.

I'm not sure about the "but he didn't say it" in the middle of James's ramble. It seems to kind of confuse the sentence.

Your Rose sounds a little like mine too, although you've said there are a lot of differences when I get to know her. Her over-protectiveness and the way she doesn't even ask if Al wants her around is sort of like my Rose.

Ah, now I see the difference. In a way, it's almost as if your Rose is pretending to be mine, if that makes any sense. Like she's pretending to be the confident, successful person who sorts things out for everybody else, whereas really she's pretty insecure herself.

I think I do like your Rose. *huggles her tightly* I think in some ways she's typical of a lot of very smart kids, and she does sound smart. It can be isolating.

I love Hugo's thought about "well, obviously it is or I wouldn't have said it."

Aw, not I feel so sorry for Rose when there is a catch in her voice.

Kids like Rose, I always just want to put my arm around or something and tell them it WON'T always be like this, that they AREN'T strange or "different" and that some day, when their peers mature, people will start admiring them for being smart and original.

And at least her problems are normal ones and she's not majorly traumatised, as far as I can see.

In 'tis, the apostrophe should be before the "t", not after it, as it replaces the missing "i".

If it's after the 8th of December, it's Christmastime. *nods* I know technically Christmas day is the first day of Christmas, but the 8th has marked the start of the Christmas season over here for I don't know how long, so yeah. They've now started switching on Christmas lights in towns and playing Christmas music in shops before the 8th and grr.

Like the detail about how boring it is picking a Christmas tree when he can't even see them.

Aw, poor Hugo. He's not enjoying Christmas, is he?

Author's Response: I had to refrain from comment when I told you the title of this chapter and you said you liked the sound of it. I like ironic titles.

I think the difference between our Jameses is that yours is actually reasonably popular while mine thinks he is but isn't. He's completely oblivious to the fact that other people find him annoying and keeps on acting like he's the centre of the universe when no one else is particularly bothered about him. At some point, maybe he'll wake up and realise that, and I pity him then.

Yay, I hoped you'd like my Rose! Yeah, that's the big difference: your Rose is overconfident, mine's insecure. She's trying to be helpful and make friends and get people to like her, but she has no idea how and she can't figure out what she's doing wrong. That's well put: my Rose is pretending to be yours.

There's a lot of mileage in normal problems. No, she's not majorly traumatised yet.

I will tidy up those things.

Advent could be seen as the start of Christmastime and that starts on the 1st December - that's when you start getting advent calenders and candles and places really start decorating and there's Christmas music in shops. Christmas trees don't tend to go up until later, especially if they're real ones, because for a start they'd lose all their needles by Christmas. And the lights in the town go on I think first weekend of Advent. Rose is home from Hogwarts, so this chapter probably starts just after the 8th.

No, Hugo's not enjoying Christmas, at least not at the moment. Poor kid.

Thank you! *huggles* So happy you like it, especially my Rose. :D


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Review #9, by DracosGirl012 Confidentiality

7th September 2014:
Oh that's so awful about the press!! Ugh. It's like Skeeter and her nasty rumors and lies, but worse, isn't it? Poor Hermione. Poor Ron.
I kind of smiled a bit at the part about Ron and his fear of spiders!! That, in my opinion, never gets old. Though I do share his fear of them! We muggles may not have acromantulas, but our spiders are pretty darn scary! Lol. Great chapter, as usual. Can't wait for the rest!! :)

Author's Response: Yeah, I think this is worse. Skeeter made up stuff, maybe starting from a vague truth before stretching it out of proportion. The problems here are with more personal information, and with the fact that St Mungo's is untrustworthy.
Thank you! I really hope you like the rest too.
~ Leo xx


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Review #10, by DracosGirl012 Common Knowledge

7th September 2014:
I liked this chapter a lot. Hugo's struggles are so very real that I can see in my head the story you've created here. I really love Hugo. I wish people wouldn't treat other people with disabilities as if they're not people at all. I have a disability myself (I'm in a wheelchair and I'm on oxygen) so I know some of Hugo's struggles, and it's not easy being different from everyone else and not being able to do things like other people do.
Great chapter. Now onto the next one! :)

Author's Response: I bet it's not easy! People can mean it well but that doesn't stop it from being frustrating. I'm writing using my own deductions to present something I don't have personal experience of, and it's always a huge boost when people in similar situations tell me that actually I've done it right (and so I haven't offended them by doing it wrong).
Thank you very much!
~ Leo xx


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Review #11, by BellaLestrange87 Confidentiality

6th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

I love this chapter. It definitely put a darker spin on why Hugo was blind - when before I simply thought it was an anomaly, something that could be fixed. It also makes me wonder about the fact that Rose appears to be fine - and if you're going to change that, or if Hermione was affected beyond what happened to Hugo.

Ron's reaction to the spider - hehehehe. It makes sense that his arachnophobia would be worse after Aragog. Now I'm worrying about why he was late home. (Hopefully something else doesn't go wrong.)

I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much!

Oh no, it's more than simply an anomaly. If it could be fixed, it would have been done by now - this is Ron and Hermione's son, after all, and they're pretty important people in the wizarding world. Whether it has any other effects... you'll just have to wait and see.

Ron being late home is something Hugo will forget to ask about and which won't have any major effects. It's a remnant of sloppy editing and a change of plot direction during JulNo which I can't figure out a way of sorting.

Really glad you like it! The next chapter's in the queue and should be up soon, and I'd love to hear what you think of it.

Thanks!

~ Leo xx


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Review #12, by MargaretLane Confidentiality

1st September 2014:
Yikes, that part about there possibly being traces remaining is kind of scary. It makes me wonder if Hugo could be affected in other ways they don't know about yet.

And now I'm wondering about Rose; if it was just luck she wasn't affected or if there's something more to it.

So far Rose seems to have got off fairly easily compared to most of your characters. *watches you suspiciously* I sort of don't want you to ruin Rose's life, because I think SOMEBODY deserves to have things comparatively easy.

That is dreadful - releasing the fact Hermione and Ron were having a daughter. Reminds me of a few years back when an Irish TV station announced on ST. STEPHEN'S DAY that the then Minister for Finance had cancer. You can imagine the complaints they got! They were accused of tabloid reporting. OK, the leak about Hugo is even more like that. Just checked an article about the event and people were saying at the time, the TV station should at least have held off a few weeks to let the family come to terms with it in private.

Oh gosh, poor Hermione. She must feel so guilty about refusing the check. How awful is that...

*cheers for Harry threatening them with Azkaban*

And *cheers for Hugo telling Hermione to stop worrying* He's being pretty mature for a 10 year old. *hugs him*

You're really determined to ruin Hermione's life, between killing her parents and having her blame herself for not having found out sooner about his blindness.

*laughs* That comment of Hugo's about how that part of the sentence was unnecessary sounds like something my version of Rose would say.

VERY minor nitpick, but you could go down to a new paragraph after Hermione says she's sure it's nothing serious and before Hugo starts thinking about how Ron has said he has to stay late at work without any explanation.

Ahhh, you're just determined to end every chapter on a cliffhanger, aren't you? The last chapter had me wondering what had caused Hugo's blindness, now this one has me wondering why Ron was late home. I wonder is there some kind of threat to the wizarding world that the Aurors have to deal with.

Great chapter.

Author's Response: *squishes* Hello! Thank you so much!

Rose. It's luck that she didn't end up blind. Whether or not she's escaped unscathed... I would say, as a general reminder for this kind of situation with the lingering Dark Magic, that not all disabilities are physical.

*sniggers* Because watching me suspiciously is going to do SO much good. What do you mean, you only SORT OF don't want me to ruin Rose's life? What's the point if you don't object to me ruining characters' lives? *sniffs* You're supposed to play along.

Our newspapers have great fun releasing all kinds of information when those concerned have only just found out about it themselves. There was a big fuss over here about phone hacking for the sake of finding out information they shouldn't know, that kind of illegal stuff. There's an ongoing inquiry into methods used by the press, and regulation.

Hermione didn't just have the guilt that she might have been able to do something and didn't. She had the entire wizarding world criticising her. Yeah, every time we've talked about ruining characters' lives and you've told me which I am/am not allowed to torture, you've completely forgotten about Hermione. Not that you could have stopped me... but yeah, poor Hermione. She's not having the easiest time, is she? *cackles*

Pointing out technicalities is Hugo's speciality!

It's not supposed to be a cliffhanger. I actually finished off this chapter a few weeks after writing the first half (this is where my JulNo chapters begin, so be warned, speed writing...) and there was a bit of a change of plan. The ending is supposed to suggest that Hugo's going to forget to ask. I really need to have a good think and edit - Ron being late home was originally going to be a big plot point, but with the revised plan it's just a remnant that really needs to be dealt with. *pokes self* Sloppy laziness right there.

Thanks!


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Review #13, by MargaretLane Common Knowledge

28th August 2014:
OK, FINALLY getting around to reading this.

LOVE Hermione's comment about how nobody likes sticking their ears in the oven. And I like the fact she's become rather more realistic as an adult and no longer believes it's as simple as just freeing them, without considering where they'll live after freedom or if they'll be able to get a job or provide for themselves or whatever.

Sounds like she's having more difficulty bringing in rights for house-elves here than in my story, where she has at least managed to ban things like making them stick their heads in ovens, even if some people ignore the ban, knowing their house elves are too loyal to ever report it.

*laughs at your detailed description of the evolution of Diagon Alley* Is there a reason it was built the year London burnt? Had there been previous buildings there that burnt in the fire?

Love the ice-cream you invented.

*cheers for Hermione's retort to the assistant's comment* How inappropriate can you get - telling Hermione she's sorry she has a blind son RIGHT IN FRONT OF HUGO?

And *cheers for her not reading his stories without permission*

Yikes, it didn't occur to me his blindness could be connected with the war and what happened to Hermione. Now I'm intrigued as to the cause of it. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Yay, thank you! I've got my big goofy "new review" smile on my face now.

Maybe part of Hermione's trouble comes from the distractions of the first years of Hugo's life. But mainly people don't want to hear what she has to say.

Yep, it was built in the aftermath of the Great Fire of London because the Ministry saw the perfect opportunity to cast some charms over the area and make it effectively disappear - something which would be considerably harder if there were inhabited houses there! And there was a nice space for the Leaky Cauldron and all. Wizarding buildings wouldn't have been affected by normal fire; it's just a case of the muggle ones having been burnt down creating a space and distractions so the muggles wouldn't notice.

The evolution of Diagon Alley. One of those things one just feels the need to know. Most people don't? *shakes head* At least you and I know the value of totally unnecessary and pointless information: it's fascinating.

Well, they couldn't just have muggle ice-cream! I do wonder what it would look like... maybe white with different colour swirls through it or something. All that matters to Hugo is the flavour, though!

I was going to have Hermione report the shop assistant to George, but decided she'd be too nice/felt it wasn't worth the hassle. The shop assistant probably went home and cried afterwards. No sympathy. She upset my little Hugo!

The next chapter went in the queue yesterday! Yep, it's an important one, which will hopefully answer a few questions. Can't wait to hear what you think of it!


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Review #14, by MargaretLane A Birthday Present

18th August 2014:
Oh gosh, now I'm wondering what happened to Hermione's parents. And you say I'M mean to my characters! Killing off the Grangers after all Hermione's efforts is just cruel.

I love the way you show the difficulties a magical child has attending a Muggle school.

*laughs* I don't usually watch sport, but one time my friend and I were in a hotel in Tipperary, when Tipperary were playing Kilkenny at hurling (Kilkenny are SCARILY good at hurling, so I basically support whoever is against them). Hurling is so fast and the sliotar (the ball) so small that you might as well be just listening to it like Hugo is. That's what this reminded me. I guess catching the Snitch is the same in Quidditch. It happens so suddenly, you'd probably only know when the commentator announces it.

I actually DID burst out laughing when Ron started dancing around the room singing that Hermione said he was right. A reaction like that has GOT to be a good sign, right? It's just so in character for Ron and such a funny mental image.

Just a question: who are Juniors? I guess I sort of assumed Junior School meant the same as primary school.

Oooh, magic wolf obviously makes me, and probably Hugo, think of werewolves and yeah, that's not funny, considering what they go through and how they are treated in the wizarding world.

We used always have two spelling tests, one in English and one in Irish, a line down the middle of the page and ten words in each language, English at one side, Irish at the other. Well, except in Senior Infants, because we only did English language spellings then.

You really capture the atmosphere in the classroom and the speech patterns of a ten year old boy well.

I actually made Derek's father a policeman before even thinking that that was the Muggle equivalent of an Auror and you've now reminded me I mean to have a scene about them comparing Muggle and magical investigations in year three and Harry trying to implement some ideas Derek's father tells him about in the Auror office.

And yes, it does sound weird to have Ron unable to pronounce his own job. Hugo covered it up well, saying he just does it to annoy Hermione. Especially since it's something one could easily imagine Ron doing.

*laughs at the meteor killing the t-rex* That reminds me of when I was a teen and playing with my three year old cousin and HER seven or eight year old cousin and myself and the older kid ended it by blowing up the world and stuff and then my three year old cousin was like "is it over now?" Um, yes, since the entire population of planet earth has been killed. Before you think we were being mean, my then three year old cousin is now a good deal older and makes you and me look kind to our characters. Blowing up the world would be right up her street.

Author's Response: Yay! Awesome review! *hugs* When I read through and posted this chapter (I wrote it two or three months ago) I was kind of "yay, it's THAT chapter" because I remembered loving writing it. One of my personal favourites (because let's admit it, everyone has favourite chapters in their own work).

All right fine, I actually keep forgetting how cruel I am to Hermione. It seems I'm also capable of being cruel to my characters. I thought of killing off the Grangers suddenly one night and first of all sat there in shock at the idea then started cackling as I realised just how evil an idea it was.

Some are born evil, some achieve evilness, and some have evilness thrust upon them... I'm working on it, OK?

If rainbows, fluffy bunnies, and baby unicorns have no effect (as per last night's conversation), maybe making you laugh will instead..?

Ron is the comic relief. There's more to him than that, but he's always a good source of amusement. Ron goofing around all the time, and Hermione pretending to disapprove but being entertained really. He doesn't have to bother being sensible, because Hermione is sensible enough for both of them!

Who are Juniors? Primary school tends to be split into two groups, the infants (reception to year 2, age 4-7) and the juniors (years 3-6, age 7-11).

Yep, Hugo thought werewolves. Which is rather different to what the rest of the class was thinking of. There's how atrociously they're treated, but perhaps his first thought would be the simple concept of the fact that they're dangerous. He certainly wouldn't have been raised to hate them, but he may well have picked up on the fact that they're generally considered dark and are very dangerous.

We used to have twenty or so spellings to learn, particularly in later years split into levels so some people did harder ones and some easy depending on how well they'd scored on previous tests.

Thank you! I love classroom scenes, and writing younger (pre-Hogwarts) children. I think I started with 6-year-old Remus in Bitten, who was amazing to write, and now I've got Hugo and his class.

Oh yes, Hugo and friends enjoy death and destruction very much, but in an innocent kind of way. I think blowing up the world is kinder to the characters than torturing them like we do, really. And I think my brother and I ended our fair share of role-plays and board games with wanton destruction (usually involving a large teddy bear wandering across the board or an earthquake shaking it so that the pieces went everywhere) when we got bored of playing (or were losing).

Yeah, blowing up the world is cliche and unoriginal. UNLESS, of course, the person responsible escapes somehow and is the only one to do so. Now THAT would be cruel. (If that's how your series ends... I'll be very disappointed in you.)


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Review #15, by DracosGirl012 King's Cross

13th August 2014:
Hi! Sorry for taking so long to get to the reviews you won on my challenge, but here I am now.
I quite love this story. You have certainly done something I have not seen before. I love it. Your characterization of Hugo is absolutely perfect.
I don't know if you noticed in the last section, when Hugo falls down. You say Ant Ginny, when it should be Aunt Ginny. Lol.
I love how Hugo responds to the rude questions. Even if it was a child, it was still a rude thing to say.
Anyways, I love the story so far, and I'll post another review soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I like to look at more unusual settings for stories, and I found this concept really interesting to write.
Thanks for pointing that out! I'll go fix that now.
It was a child, meaning they were honest in a way an adult wouldn't be, which is perhaps what hurts Hugo most.
So glad you like it! Looking forward to seeing what you think of the next chapters!


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Review #16, by MargaretLane A Haunted House

9th August 2014:
*laughs at Hermione insisting on everybody saying "pardon" rather than "what" and Ron constantly forgetting*

*also laughs at Ron muttering about getting Draco back* Ron...really hasn't changed.

You written Hermione as saying "good think I keep dittany." I think you meant "good thing".

I actually laughed out loud at the comment that Hermione'd hardly poke Ron if he were dying. True, that.

I also laughed at the part about Dad and Aunt Ginny not being normal even for wizards and none of the Weasleys being normal apart from Rose and Hugo, even though he may not be normal, but he's weird in a different way. Actually, since I have to have a story for everything, it reminds me a little of when I was at college and we'd this lecturer, who used to sing rebel songs related to what we were studying and one day she asked some of the international students about how things were different in their home countries and they said their lecturers wouldn't do that and she was like, "well, normal lecturers don't over here either." *laughs* I mean rebel songs are an awesome source for Irish history and all and a brilliant way of remembering place names and dates, so it wasn't completely random.

This story seems to have Harry rather more traumatised by past events than I usually see, which makes sense.

*laughs I used to make up those kind of things as a kid too* But I guess since Hugo is blind, people would be likely to come to all kinds of theories about it symbolising his anxiety about not being aware of what's around him or something.

Ohhh, the mention of the Tudors having houses like it makes it sound so ENGLISH.

*laughs at Ron and Ginny being determined not to grow up*

Author's Response: *hugs* Thank you so much, for another awesome review! I was going to respond straight away, but you know... I didn't (surprise surprise). :P

Haha, I love writing Ron and Hermione. I don't go in for romance but I listed them as a pairing in the summary because I realised whilst writing them how perfect they are together! The main characters were supposed to be Hugo, Lily, and Rose. The adults - especially Hermione - are turning out to be more important.

Fixed that, thanks. I write "thing" as "think" ALL THE TIME. It's annoying.

You do have a story for everything.

I don't think anyone's normal, but Ron and Ginny don't care about pretending! You can spend years hiding that you like unusual things or feel like singing at random moments or are seriously into Harry Potter, and then maybe in the end you realise that actually there's no reason to hide it, so you just burst into song when you feel like it and geek out over Harry Potter. And it's easier when there are two of you, so Ron and Ginny give each other confidence to mess around and be themselves. And of course none of the Weasleys are normal, even for wizards! They're crazy and awesome.

Harry being traumatised. Admittedly not my favourite sub-plot to write, but it all ties in to later events. Probably. Provided the story cooperates (yeah, that's a big if). But I do think it makes sense for him to be pretty badly affected by what he went through.

Following our conversation last night, I am not surprised that you made up that kind of thing as a kid. *laughs* I'm not convinced it suggests that such behaviour is normal, anyway. :P I think Hermione wouldn't like to think he was afraid like that - or to know about his slightly morbid imagination. She wouldn't feel it was the kind of thing a kid Hugo's age should be coming up with, however normal it is really.


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Review #17, by Aphoride King's Cross

6th August 2014:
Hi there - stopping by for the Blue v Bronze review battle! :)

I've seen this around the site, but I've never stopped by so I'm glad I got a chance to drop by this time! It's such a unique premise, really challenging in pretty much every way and so thought-provoking and emotional, you know?

You deal with Hugo being blind so well. Your writing doesn't feel limited at all and the description of things is just so gorgeous, whether it's what things look like or feel like or sound like. I almost wish I could get someone to read this to me so I could listen to it with my eyes close to imagine it properly :)

Hugo is such an amazing character. I love how he's not very outgoing, and very close to Lily, and irritated by people treating him like he's made of china or something, because he's not. It's such a real reaction, and kinda makes me wonder if I've ever come across as overly helpful and a bit smothering in that kind of way. Rose and his parents mean to be nice, but being overprotective kinda makes it annoying. Such a good, real presentation of them all, though!

The little mentions of things like Braille and him not always knowing when the dog (Snuffles! :D) comes up to him and hating people sitting in silence in the same room as him are so, so good.

As a whole thing, this is just so emotional and so evocative. You get the feeling of frustration at the end with Hugo, but also that he's just accepted it and he feels like his parents and Rose haven't quite accepted yet, even after so long. The ending scene particularly was so good - I felt so sorry for him, because it's something which really hurts, and the kid won't have meant it to be too rude because they just don't understand, but in a way that makes it sadder, if that makes sense. Especially when their parent doesn't seem to really step in... grr.

So yes, this was a really, really lovely piece. Gorgeous writing, great characters and an amazing, amazing premise. I'm so curious to see where this goes and how Hugo copes with everything! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you! I'm so glad you like it.

I've actually thought about volunteering this story to be made into a podcast over at FFAB. When I've finished it, I might. It would be really appropriate. If I can find anyone willing to record an entire novel!

I literally stop and close my eyes at odd moments to get a picture of what things would be like for him. It's fascinating to write from his perspective - if very limiting at times. And I think it's done wonders for my description! But you don't really appreciate how much you rely on sight until you think about managing without.

Really happy you like him - he's the first character I really feel I know. Like as I've been writing (I've actually got nearly 17 chapters done now) I've come to know exactly how he thinks and what he'd do. He feels like a very real character, and I'm really happy that comes across!

Indeed, Snuffles :D

The parent certainly wasn't very quick at stepping in, anyway, not acting before Hugo'd lost his temper and stopped listening. I've seen a few times the concept that children are honest in a way adults aren't, and it's true and Hugo knows it.

Thank you so much! I hope you do come back and read the rest - I'd love to know what you think. :)

~ Leo xx


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Review #18, by MargaretLane Empires Old and New

3rd August 2014:
*laughs at the straight roads thing* One immediate indication Ireland was never part of the Roman Empire. There's hardly a straight road in the country.

And that is an awesome idea - having them actually make the roads.

Oooh, I love the idea of Kingsley's reforms having a negative side. Most things do, after all.

And these events have certain echoes of your Nobby story, with the politics and the pureblood extremists and all.

I love Hermione's reaction to Ron actually taking notice of what's going on in the elections. And I can imagine it would feel sort of odd to be protecting people who are under threat due to the hatred they are spreading. But yeah, you can't only protect those you agree with, obviously.

Your news reporters sound so genuine. You've really captured the way reporters speak when reporting on things like elections.

And I LOVE the way the Irish Ministry use "stupid ould pencils", to quote our ex-Taoiseach Bertie Ahern, when he was trying to bring in electronic voting. When I was 12, our teacher brought us down to see part of one of the counts. It was a referendum and I wandered around, counting how many yeses and nos I saw. I think I saw something like 12 nos and about 4 yeses, so that was a pretty fair indication of the way the wind was blowing.

I like the way you have different countries having different systems and stuff. The wizarding world does seem more uniform than the Muggle one, probably because of the smaller populations and greater ease of travel, but at the same time, the British wizarding world is so like Muggle Britain in a lot of ways (even down to the year they start secondary school and the years they do their exams) that it makes sense other countries would reflect their Muggle versions.

*laughs at what Hugo says about Percy, since in my story he spends his time talking about work and how well Lucy is doing, since Molly isn't at Hogwarts yet in my story*

I'm actually really amused at something here, but I think I'll pm you on the forums about it, because it'd be going off-topic here.

That idea of splitting the vote is one of the sort of benefits of our system, where we have 3-5 candidates elected for each constituency, so it's less likely the guy with 40% support will beat the three guys with similar views who between them share 60% of the vote, especially as you can list 2nd and 3rd choices. There are disadvantages too, but on the whole, I like it as a system.

This also reminds me of how Labour declined to stand in the...I think it was the 1917 election, so as not to split the nationalist vote in Ireland, as this was when we were still part of the UK.

I burst out laughing at Seamus Brody's similarity to "guy I probably shouldn't bash publicly by mentioning his name."

And it strikes me as completely likely that issues about pureblood supremacy wouldn't come up in an Irish political debate, because, apart from anything else, we tend to be less direct about certain opinions. I've been rephrasing this over and over again, because I'm not sure how to express it, but I think it very likely that it might be unacceptable to express pureblood elitist views in a political debate, but far more acceptable to actually enact laws benefiting purebloods. Straight talking isn't exactly valued over here.

Author's Response: They do a lot of hands-on stuff. Usually you'd have diagrams, but they need models - and hey, why not build the models themselves?

Everything has a negative side. Give people the right to vote, you have to trust them to make a good choice.

Pure-blood extremism is a theme that I focus on constantly, and as it was the cause of both wizarding wars, Nobby's problems, Grindelwald, and Slytherin leaving Hogwarts, I think it's safe to say it's an important issue in the wizarding world!

Haha, I love my Ron/Hermione. It wasn't deliberate, but I suddenly found myself shipping them. It's a good stable relationship, unlike what most people claim to expect. She teases him all the time, but he doesn't mind.

Thank you! I love writing commentary (and there's quite a bit more TV-listening later) I may have been watching the European elections whilst/immediately before writing this chapter (spoiler: I was), so that helped me get the reporting style! My plots are so affected by my surroundings it's ridiculous, but I love this section and what it (kind of) resulted in later.

Magic quills, with ID charms so people can't vote twice or on someone else's behalf and so votes can't be modified!

I'm simultaneously writing this response and replying to the PM.

The vote splitting's inspired by something mentioned in the round-up of the European elections about UKIP and the Tories sharing a portion of the vote, and that reducing both of their chances. Your system is certainly better in that regard. But can you see the start of party politics in magical Britain?

Thank you for yet another awesome review! *hugs* *runs back to PM*


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Review #19, by DracosGirl012 Past and Future

29th July 2014:
I just want to say that I love this story so far. The plot is something I have never seen before. I really like Hugo and Lily, and I love the way you've written everyone (Ron and Harry and Hermione and Ginny). I feel like you captured their personalities exactly.
Great job! Now, I'm onto the next chapter! :D :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I like to go for more original plots, and issues like disabilities I find amazing fuel for conflict and really interesting. Really glad you're enjoying it! (I literally just finished submitting chapter 4 to the queue when I came to see this - I submit every Wednesday at present.)

Thanks for a lovely review! Hope you enjoy the rest.

~ Leo xx


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Review #20, by MargaretLane Live in Concert

28th July 2014:
Yay, we get to see his school.

And I'm intrigued by the mentions of playrooms and common rooms. Are those things common in British primary schools or is it just because he's attending a special school? We had lunch and break either in the yard or in our classrooms or when we were 8 or younger, in the hall/gym.

I can't remember if we learnt about the Romans in primary school or not. I don't think so. I think we focused on Ireland when studying that era.

That part about calling the teacher by the Latin for teacher reminds me of when we started learning French in 4th class (so at 9/10 years old) and had to refer to our French teach as Madame Murphy. And of course, from Junior Infants, a lot of classroom instructions were given in Irish.

*laughs* It's SO like Ron to make an excuse. Somehow I can't imagine him being a fan of classical music.

*laughs at him commenting that he can't see anyway* It's a funny answer, even if it is rather sad too.

The harp is like our national symbol. It's on all Government correspondence and on our coins and all. So the final line of the chapter seems so weird to me; that he doesn't know what a harp looks like. Hermione should find an Irish euro coin, so he can feel the shape of a harp. *nods*

Sorry if this review isn't greatly detailed, but I don't know much about music, so haven't much to say.

Author's Response: Hello!

No, the playroom/common room thing isn't normal for British primary schools. I don't know much about special schools (although I've tried to research) but I figured it made sense, for the sake of looking after them (many have other accompanying disorders) and also as they have very small classes. Private schools do have common rooms for all groups, I think, and that's where the idea came from, but yes it's because it's a special school.

As we were occupied by the Romans, we do study it here!

A harp is something you're likely to see pictures of even if it's not your national symbol, but of course pictures aren't any use to him. No-one's ever had a reason to describe one to him, so of course he doesn't know what they look like! It's just not something that's ever been relevant before.

Plenty of detail! You can't write a review the length of the chapter for every single chapter... ;) Thanks again!


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Review #21, by MargaretLane Past and Future

26th July 2014:
I was wondering how you'd characterise Scorpius when I was going on about the difficulty I'd had figuring out how to do so in my response to your review. I like the fact you've placed him in Hufflepuff. That leads to all kinds of speculation as to what he might be like.

And I'm now wishing I could read a spin-off of this about your Albus, Rose and Scorpius starting Hogwarts, but I guess you have more than enough to be writing. Both Albus and Scorpius sound like really interesting characters.

Hmm, I wonder why Hugo thinks he'll end up in Hufflepuff and if he actually will.

Love the idea that the Muggle world deals with some disabilities better than the wizarding world does. Your explanation makes sense, as the wizarding world DOES seem to work off the assumption that everything can either be solved by magic or should else just be dismissed, like its treatment, or lack of treatment of many of those suffering mental illness. Of course, we don't know exactly what happens, but there seems to be little effort made to cure people like Gilderoy Lockhart or Neville's parents; it seems to be more about containing them and protecting them from any kind of physical risk.

I LOVE Hugo's responses to the question about which question has no answer.

Those riddles get progressively more difficult to think up the more of them you have to invent.

And actually his description of Hogwarts makes me realise how difficult it would be for him there. Everything moves around so much, he wouldn't be able to remember where it is and wouldn't be able to see how it'd changed.

Yikes, Hugo's thoughts about how everybody'd be better off without him are getting concerning. Those are pretty dark thoughts.

Baked apple. That was one of the first things I made in cookery class when I was only a little older than Hugo. We started learning to cook in our second last year of primary school, which would be equivalent to the last year of primary for ye, I think. I'd have been nearly 11. I don't think I'd ever even HEARD of baked apples before that.

I think it's a bit unfair of Ginny to try and pressurise Harry into living at Godric's Hollow. It's surely something he needs to be comfortable with.

And I still think it's awfully sad the way kids in the wizarding world go away to school AT THE AGE OF ELEVEN and only go home for fairly short holidays. Even at COLLEGE, pretty much everybody I knew at least went home for weekends and we were all adults or pretty close.

*laughs* The comment about the security risk of Quidditch is rather timely for me, as a short while ago, there was a fuss here about security at a G.A.A. match. It was seen as insulting to the supporters, as if they were expecting trouble, though they said it was just because of the crowds.

You've written that they are bickering about "who's career is more active." I think it should be "whose" because it's not short for "who is" in that context.

Also there are a couple of sentences when Ron is being criticised for eating too much that I'm not sure whether Hermione or Ginny said. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway, but I'd like to be clearer who's speaking.

Snuffles!? *laughs* Yes, I think Sirius would be amused by that.

Author's Response: I've got a bit of character for all of them. I'm kind of thinking that when Hugo makes it to Hogwarts, I'm going to change the style (person and tense) so that I can do POV switches and not just work from Hugo's perspective. Then they'll all feature. The overarching plot is taking shape in my head, but of course I've got this novel to finish and probably one for next "year" to write before I get there!

Hugo thinking he'll end up in Hufflepuff is due to the stereotype of Hufflepuff being the leftovers - while his parents (Hermione especially) constantly tell him that it's about being hardworking and loyal, he thinks he'd be there because he's disabled and not good enough for any other House. As to whether he ends up there or not... I do know now, but I only decided when I got to about chapter 15.

You love them? I like them, but they also show his kind of self-hate/self-pity (and the fact that he can get a bit morbid sometimes). And yes, I could imagine them getting very hard to think up! I spent long enough on that one (and that was knowing that I wanted Hugo to give an answer like that).

He has mood swings. Major ones. And when he's miserable, he gets into a lot of self-hate. He's really happy sometimes, but he does descend into very dark thoughts.

We have baked apple a lot! But now instead of coring the apples and stuffing them with fruit and sugar we just quarter and core them and sprinkle the sugar on top. It's easier, and it always explodes anyway!

It is unfair. I had a bit of a fight with that bit of the chapter, but Ginny doesn't mean to be unfair. She's trying to help him, just doesn't understand fully how he feels. And Harry works himself up about it, so it's not just her being overly demanding, but she doesn't really get how hard it is for him. And she's a very determined woman when she sets her mind on something.

Yes, I think it's sad. I know you've got that as a huge theme in your own next-gen. I feel it's actually worst for muggle-born students, as they're going to this whole new world at the age of 11 and suddenly everything's changing and they only have a few months to get used to the prospect of leaving home. And they're not just leaving home but having to figure out everything all at once about this world they didn't even know existed. And their parents get very little choice about whether they send their children or not.

Thank you for pointing those out. I will genuinely go and fix them now! (Usually I think about it and decide it's not worth bothering, but I've actually got some pride in this story!)

Haha yes, I think he would like it a lot.


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Review #22, by lexiatel King's Cross

14th July 2014:
Leonore!!! *hugs* I am here because you requested a review, hehehe.

So anyway, this was a lovely chapter. I hope to be able to read more. I think it's great that Lily is so sweet and patient with Hugo and they are pretty much friends.

I do not think he would need to feel around so much in his room (I would think they would all be wise enough to leave everything in place) but I can see him being a little more cautious outside his bedroom.

His frustrations seem very realistic, and you truly feel bad for him. I do understand the other children's questions though, they are naturally curious, and don't always intend to be rude. I hope he learns to tell the difference.

I could see him getting lost easily though if he just likes to walk away from his family. Definitely is a Weasley, lol.

Let me know when you have another chapter, Leo, I want to read more please :)

Rated it a 9/10!

Author's Response: Hey Lexi!

I think he'd feel around slightly, because don't you look at your bed or chair before you sit on it? Try walking into your room with your eyes shut. Granted you're not as used to it as him, but you're always going to keep a tentative hand out just in case anything HAS changed. Sight is our main sense, and we use it all the time. He doesn't have that, so he makes the best of what he's got (mainly touch). I do get what you mean, though.

They don't mean to be rude, and he knows it. They're honest, and that's what he hates most: that's how people see him, but grown-ups have learnt not to be so blunt. Or at least that's what he tells himself.

Definitely a Weasley. And one who hates being dependant on other people.

You do? Well I actually have 2 more chapters up and another in the queue! So there is more to read!

~ Leo xx

Thanks!


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Review #23, by MargaretLane King's Cross

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review.

I don't actually have time to read and review this, but I'm doing it anyways, because the idea intrigues me so much.

Love the opening lines. You really portray how confusing it must be not to be able to see what is happening around you. And I love the hint of a close relationship between Hugo and Lily.

Hmm, I wonder what it was that happened to Hermione that caused his blindness.

And that is so in character for Ron, to give up after trying.

*laughs at Rose being overprotective, since that's how she is in my story too* And you've put both Rose and Albus in the same house they're in in my story. *laughs*

You are an awesome writer. You portray everything so well and I'm really looking forward to seeing where this is going.

Author's Response: Lily's the one person who doesn't get awkward as a result of his blindness, who just accepts him and understands him. Plus there's the age connection.

What happened to Hermione and how it caused his blindness will of course be covered in a later chapter!

Well, it must be admitted that people have a tendency to sort characters into their own house. ;) I think Rose is overprotective partly because that's her nature and also because she's used to Hugo needing more attention than most children his age, and to seeing her mother fussing over him.

Thank you :D


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Review #24, by Infinityx King's Cross

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review

Hi Leonore! Yay, I'm the first to review! This was just. Wow. I'm speechless. I absolutely love your writing and I don't think I found any mistakes in this at all. Everything flowed perfectly and was impeccable.

Poor Hugo. I can only imagine how he must feel. I love your idea of making him blind and writing this from his perspective. That must be so difficult, but you make it seem really effortless and just...beautiful.

The descriptions here are just fabulous. People with eyesight just take everything for granted and don't pay attention to all the everyday details which just seem common to them. I love how you've written in Hugo's perspective for it really brings out the importance of all the small things in life and how they shouldn't be taken for granted.

Lily is just the sweetest. I love hers and Hugo's relationship, and I'm glad he has someone who actually understands to an extent and he can be comfortable with. That swing scene was so lighthearted, and like I mentioned before, something incredibly simple, and yet so powerful.

And that ending. How do you write this way, Leonore? It was the perfect way to end the chapter and there was such a huge bomb of emotions present throughout that made this a beautiful read. I can't wait for you to update.

~Erin

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you!

There are times when I've wondered whether it really was a good idea to write from Hugo's perspective - it's very limiting - but certainly after having written quite a bit it comes naturally. It's certainly an interesting experience, writing from his perspective - I'm always looking for descriptions now, trying to put sounds and smells and tastes into words. The English language has fewer words than for visual descriptions, and it's not something you usually think about so much. I genuinely close my eyes for a minute and try to generate a description of my surroundings from just what I can sense. I recommend trying it, even if you're not writing a blind character - you notice so much more, which is useful for writing and generally interesting.

I love the simple little scenes (written from experience!). Thank you so much! This is the most amazing first review the story could have received, and is so encouraging!

So glad you liked it! Thank you!

~ Leo xx

(I submit a chapter to the queue every Wednesday)


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