Reading Reviews for Rainfall
  
41 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Anonymous Christmas Cheer

24th October 2014:
poor hugo, it is so hard to explain to other people why you prefer playing the harp instead of doing other things, especially to a sibling that doesn't understand that playing music just makes you calm and happy…I hope that Rose and Hugo can work it out and Rose comes to enjoy the music

Author's Response: Yeah, my siblings think of practising instruments as a chore rather than something to be done in free time. Rose and Hugo don't have the best relationship - they don't quite understand each other, as is shown in the way Rose always tries to help Hugo when he wants to be independent and the way he's happiest doing his own thing while she kind of needs to be loved. As to whether they work it out... well, there are some big plot twists coming up!

Thank you for all the reviews! It's a lovely start to my day. I hope you stick with the story and like what's coming up! :)


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Review #2, by anonymous A Birthday Present

24th October 2014:
"It sounds so pretty, even when the notes are wrong"
you captured this perfectly, it is one of the many things I love so much about the harp.
Oh Hugo got really lucky, I had to beg my parents for more than 5 years until they finally gave in and bought me a harp, they really are expensive and it is so complicated to organize transport for concerts or orchestra rehearsals..but no complaints, I never wanted to learn any other instrument and I can understand Hugo for wanting to learn playing the harp :-)

Author's Response: There are some advantages to being blind, it seems, at least in Hugo's case - his parents know from his piano playing that he takes his music seriously, and they really want to do everything they can to make him happy. Oh, transport must be a pain! They at least have magic to help. ;)

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Review #3, by anonymous A Haunted House

24th October 2014:
More harp! this makes me so happy! you described it pretty well, do you play the harp?
there was a welsh harpist and composer by the name John Parry, he lived in the 18th century and I think he became harpist at the royal court or something like that. Anyway, he was born blind but his pieces are very virtuos, I would know,tok me ages to play it fast enough and without mistakes...

Author's Response: No, I don't play the harp - never had a chance, I'm afraid. I'm a violinist - been playing since I was about 4. I'm working from recordings and from experience of playing with harps in orchestras. That's interesting about Parry. I did discover than in Ireland, playing the harp was considered a suitable occupation for blind boys.

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Review #4, by anonymous Live in Concert

24th October 2014:
I love that you mentioned the harp! I have been playing the harp for more than a decade and I played the Romeo and Juliet overture and it is so nice to read about how someone in the audience feels while listening because it is not easy to play. I haven´t read much of your story yet, but I kind of love the story already just for mentioning the harp parts.

Author's Response: First of all, can I say what a lovely surprise this was to wake up to! You play the harp? I wish I could! I've played violin parts in the Romeo and Juliet overture - it is a bit of a pig, isn't it? I love it, and I listened to it whilst writing this chapter. Thank you, I'm really glad you like it!

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Review #5, by AlexFan Past and Future

23rd October 2014:
It's taken me a while to leave this review but I'm finally here. I thought I would just get the CC out of the way first. Personally, I felt like Ginny was a bit out of character. I can see where she's coming from about wanting to rebuild Harry's childhood home, and she had good arguments as well but I feel like if Harry wasn't comfortable with that idea that she would understand and at least consider the possibility of not rebuilding the home. Clearly Harry feels like if they were to fix up the place it would be like trying to erase traces of his parents from his life and obviously he doesn't want that. And I personally found it weird that in all of the time that Harry and Ginny have been together he not once took her to see Godric's Hollow. I mean, this is his wife here, and Godric's Hollow is an important part of Harry's past, I would've thought that he would've taken Ginny to see the place where it all started. But then again, this is just me so feel free to ignore this.

Moving on, Hugo is such a pessimistic child and honestly I can see why, when you look at things from his perspective, the Wizarding world really doesn't have much to offer him. The muggle world is in fact more suited for Hugo and Hogwarts would be extremely difficult for him to navigate, especially the stairs, those would be a nightmare. But he seems really aware for a child is I guess the best way to put it, I like how he thinks about his actions and questions why he does some of the things that he did. When he lashed out, I like how he acknowledged that he really had no reason to act the way that he did and asked himself why he was so angry. I feel like Hugo wants someone to reprimand him, had he not been blind and lashed out like he did, he would've gotten punished for his behaviour and the fact that he got away with it is like another reminder to him that he can't see.

I'm really growing to like Hugo and I love reading about this story from his perspective.

Author's Response: I definitely get where you're coming from regarding Ginny! Getting the characterisations in that bit was a pain and I kind of knew it wasn't right for her but I got lazy and didn't wrestle with it. Now you've confirmed that that bit's a mess, I'll try and make myself actually do something about it! Harry not taking Ginny to see Godric's Hollow - yeah, I get what you mean there as well, but my explanation would be that he moved on too completely and never felt even that he could bring the idea up because that might have meant talking about the past and actually thinking about it. And yeah, he'd have been comfortable with his wife, he just didn't want to think about it himself. But yeah, Ginny, and Harry too to a lesser extent, are characters I haven't really managed to get a grip on and I do need to have another think about them and do some editing. :P

Thank you! Hugo is a character I DO feel I understand now, and yeah, he hates thinking that he's being treated differently. Normal kids might be resentful at being punished for bad behaviour, but the way he gets more slack means he feels guilty about it and also of course is reminded of WHY those allowances are made for him.

Really glad you like it! Thanks for the review, and I'll try to do something with that CC!

~ Leo


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Review #6, by MargaretLane Beginnings and Ends

22nd October 2014:
*cheers for Hermione getting somewhere during the meeting* And yes, using a racial slur at a war hero might NOT go down well.

My immediate thought for the "lovely gentleman who insulted" her is Lucius Malfoy. It just sounds like him.

*cheers for Hugo getting a distinction*

*laughs at Hugo wanting to go because it's a day out of the classroom*

*cheers for them having displays in Braille*

And you haven't mentioned Kelly at all yet this chapter. I guess there hasn't been much change yet, but *is concerned* Poor Kelly. She's missing the trip too.

I actually laughed out loud at how they are less likely to get in trouble than a bunch of kids from an ordinary school would be, as people'd feel mean spoiling blind kids' fun.

And just after that, the teacher DOES mention Kelly. It mostly sounds like she's doing OK, but that part about the lymph nodes is worrying. I can't help feeling this is going to turn out to be more serious than anybody expects. *glares at you*

OK, I've already expressed my surprise at the fact he's never had the opportunity to be really creative in school.

*tuts at the idea of people being concerned about children writing about dragons killing people*

I can see why she'd be worried about the Statute, but I don't think there's any great need. Nobody'd believe this stuff was true. Although he might be better off not detailing things like the types of dragons as that seems kinda specific for a ten year old to come up with.

Setting the world on fire? OK, that's rather a dramatic ending. I guess the dragons could do it though. And I like the connection with the Slytherin Conspiracy.

I am laughing at the thought of Ron as a teacher.

And Dumbledore did say to Tom Riddle that he wouldn't be made attend Hogwarts if he didn't want to, didn't he? And Hagrid spoke about if Harry wanted to go. And Remus didn't expect he'd even be able to go to Hogwarts. So I guess Hugo COULD remain in the Muggle world. It'd be hard for him though, as he wouldn't have the advantages of being able to do magic. But then the wizarding world doesn't give him the advantages of supports for the blind. Either way, he's going to miss out on something.

Hmm, sounds like not many of your next gen are in Gryffindor. I placed most of mine there, since Albus feeling insecure about not being a Gryffindor plays a big part in The Writing on the Wall and the more Weasleys that are in that house, the more left out he'd feel by not being.

I'm still debating where to place Hugo. I can actually see your Hugo being a Ravenclaw. Ron wouldn't be pleased to have neither of his kids in Gryffindor.

Yeah, pretty unlikely any of the Muggleborns in his year would just happen to have attended the same primary school as him.

*hugs Emma* *hugs Hugo too* I really like the character of Emma. She's pretty determined for a ten year old. But then, when we were asked in 3rd class about what we'd wish for if we'd three wishes, my first thought was that I'd be able to get a teaching job when I grew up. I may not have been aware of the exact unemployment rates, but I was certainly familiar with the idea that leaving Ireland to get work was pretty commonplace. Anyway, I like Emma.

And I LOVE how positive Hugo is in the last paragraph.

Which I expect means you're going to ruin everything for him again in the next chapter. *glares at you*

Author's Response: *snuggles review* Maths can wait - I have a response to write!

I'm not convinced Lucius would still be working for the Ministry, even if he did escape Azkaban. And I think he MIGHT have more sense than to use a racial slur at a war hero in public.

Writing this chapter, I had in my head the Science Museum in London, which it's very realistic that a primary school - even a special one, like Hugo's - would visit, as I imagine them being not all that far from London, maybe Hugo living kind of on the outskirts of the suburbs and the school being a few miles out in the country (to get away from the dangers of the city). Or at least in a town relatively near London, reducing apparation distances for visiting the Ministry and the Potters etc. And, getting to the point (at last), the Science Museum is definitely "accessible", with things like Braille displays and wheelchair access and interactive multi-sensory models. Rather well suited to Hugo and co.

Haha, Hugo's class are sweet but really not the best behaved. Which their teachers probably like, because the kids are good at heart just high-spirited and happy despite their situations.

Yep, a nice positive note to the chapter... then I bring the mood right back down. Now of course what you COULD do is do a little research into Melanoma to find out how the disease/treatment are likely to develop and how much danger Kelly's actually in - this is researched and fact-based. Though you doing that research might spoil my fun...

Hugo can be a dramatic kid. Well, a kid with a "that escalated quickly" kind of imagination. Yeah, logical escalation of the situation leads to the entire world catching fire... I think someone got overexcited...

I think Hugo could be very happy in the muggle world - there's far better support for the blind, and he has better prospects there because of all the "equal opportunities" stuff. And magic is of limited use to him, because it is so visual - most of the time, he'd need help to know where he was aiming his wand.

Yeah, I came up with characterisations for my next gens and they all seemed to fit elsewhere. James is the only one currently in Gryffindor (Teddy was, but that's not mentioned in the story yet). And yet Hugo still feels Gryffindor's the place to be.

Hugo - Ravenclaw. It may or may not be right (I do actually know now). I will be interested to seeing whether you stick with that guess or change as the story progresses! Yeah, Ron wouldn't be delighted at that!

You like Emma? *cackles evilly*

You reckon next chapter's going to be evil? You'll just have to wait and see... ;)


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Review #7, by CambAngst King's Cross

22nd October 2014:
Hi, there! I saw your request for hugs today. Unfortunately, I don't know how to send those across the ocean. But I can do reviews, though. So I hope this is almost as good as a hug.

I really liked the way you wrote your opening chapter. You grounded the story in time just by way of a few details about Rose and Al leaving for school and being sorted. You didn't dump a whole load of back story on the reader, sticking to a few key points that are obviously very important to the story. I have a good sense of the people who are important in Hugo's life, but there's plenty left to discover as the story plays out. To me, that's really good pacing.

Hugo read completely natural and believable. He was age-appropriate and the uneven sort of way that he reacts to the various situations caused by his blindness -- from being very accepting in some cases to sort of immature in others -- felt perfectly natural for a 9-year-old boy. He's obviously made a lot of progress in life, but he's still struggling to figure certain things out. It obviously doesn't help that he's dealing with some challenging life issues. His older sister just left for school, so now he's effectively alone a lot of the time. Hermione seems to work an awful lot, which sounds about right for her.

Lily was like a ray of sunshine in this chapter. She's so attentive and thoughtful and it seems like she just gets Hugo. She understands what's helpful to him and she knows when to back off. I'm excited to see how their relationship develops.

All in all, this was a great start. I hope to get a chance to read more.

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Review #8, by AlexFan King's Cross

19th October 2014:
I was supposed to leave you five reviews for the challenge but you never PM'd me so I figured I'd pick a story and I decided to go with this one.

I haven't read many stories where the main character was blind, I've written some but read few and it's always interesting to see the different ways that people portray this kind of disability. I think you've made Hugo very realistic, his reactions to things is I think completely normal, I can understand why he would get angry at a little kid asking why he's funny. He knows that the kid probably doesn't know any better but that doesn't stop him from getting angry at being treated like he's some kind of freak.

I love how you included the details about how Hugo had to learn how to read differently and to do other things differently like thing his shoes because it just makes him more real, you can really get a sense of the kind of struggles that he's faced. I'm so excited to see where this story goes!

Author's Response: I forgot to PM..? Oh, oops! I would have requested for this story anyway. :D

Yeah, he might know that the kid doesn't mean anything by it, but that doesn't stop it from making him angry. Perhaps more angry because the kid is speaking honestly, and it's a reminder that this is how people actually see him (despite adults' attempts to treat him normally).

Thank you so much! I really hope you like the rest. :D

~ Leo xx


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Review #9, by MargaretLane For Family and Friends

13th October 2014:
Another chapter closer to the rather intriguing sounding chapter 16. *laughs and goes to read*

Love the mention of their needing a phone, as the school would find it suspicious if they DIDN'T have one. There's probably a lot less magic around an ordinary wizarding house than around Hogwarts anyway, though I guess things like anti-Apparition protection and stuff could still interfere if they hadn't modified it.

Really like the description of how the video games work for blind kids.

And George's comment there was so sad. It's still less than 20 years since the war, so most people will know somebody who died or was injured or imprisoned. And I agree with him that Fred would want to see everybody laughing.

LOVE the idea of the Young Inventors competition. George would DEFINITELY want to encourage kids to invent pranks as he did.

*cheers for Al coming up with a broom Hugo could ride* Fair play to him. From your comments about him, I wondered if he'd have entered the competition, but I hadn't considered him creating something Hugo could use. Good on Al.

And you have now sort of inspired me to rewrite the Easter chapter from The Writing on the Wall. I really should, I suppose.

Yikes, poor Kelly. You really do give these poor kids a hard time.

That was sensitive on the parts of the teachers to let them eat in their classroom.

We used always eat in our classrooms in primary school, actually. Well, from 3rd class on (8/9 year olds). 1st and 2nd class ate in the gym under the supervision of a teacher and a couple of sixth class girls. I can't remember what we did in Junior and Senior Infants, but I assume we all ate somewhere we could be supervised again. From 3rd class on, we ate in our classrooms, with a teacher patrolling the corridors. And we always brought packed lunches. In secondary school, we'd a canteen and could choose whether to buy food there or bring our own lunches and we could eat where we liked.

Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if Kelly DID die. And it's pointless even yelling at you not to let her, because I know you've all but finished this story already. But NO, you can't kill a ten year old girl. That's not on!

*laughs at Kelly's usual behaviour* I like her style. You really can't kill her now.

LOVE that paragraph about how he doesn't want to be asked about his school day because it'd make him think of Kelly. It's portrays how upset he is probably better than anything else you've said in this chapter.

You've written that Hugo points out Rose "isn't that much younger than" him. It should be older.

The last paragraph is somewhat chilling. It kind of indicates Hugo is feeling pretty helpless and trapped, which makes sense, considering he knows one of his friends is seriously ill and there's nothing he can do about it and nor is there anything he can do about his own blindness.

Author's Response: Chapter 16 approaches! *laughs*

The video game idea I actually got from Googling "games for the blind" or something like that - there are things like lists of accessible games and blogs on what people's (blind) children can and can't manage to play and what features make a game accessible.

I like Al a lot. YES I KNOW, being liked by me is not something my characters particularly benefit from... but I still like him. He may not fit my profile for him, but his character has sort of developed itself and I love what he's become. Can I say that about my own character? I don't care, I AM saying it.

The story was going slowly in JulNo. Yes, I did that to Kelly to get the story going. I'm so evil I love it, mwahaha...

I doubt considering the nature of the school this is the first time the teachers have had to tell children that one of their classmates is in a situation like this - blindness is often just one symptom of a disorder which may lead to many other health issues, like in Kelly's case with the albinism causing blindness and also the increased vulnerability to harmful UV radiation. And because of the general medical profile of the student body, they've probably had to announce deaths, too, very occasionally, let alone hospitalisations.

So the staff will have talked before about what to do in situations like this and how the children might react, and they'll have experience of dealing with it.

We always ate in the assembly hall at primary school, under the supervision of the dinner lady and I think another couple of teachers who were on duty. Yeah, most of us had packed lunches, though they had school dinners for those on free school meals or whose parents paid for it. The primary school I did work experience at had more dinner ladies and a lot more people had hot school meals (although I think there were also a lot with packed lunches). Our secondary school system is the same as yours. I think they might feed the kids at Hugo's school partly because of the medical profile I mentioned - they want to make sure they're all eating well. And it saves the parents - who definitely don't all find it easy looking after disabled children - from having to worry about making packed lunches. And the school generally provides a lot more care than most - it provides far more than just a normal primary education!

Yay, you like Kelly! It's always more fun when people like the characters you're being horrible to. *cackles evilly*

I can't kill a ten-year-old girl? Oh, OK. MWAHAHA ONLY JOKING I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. EVEN/ESPECIALLY IF IT'S "NOT ON"!

Thank you! I love your reaction to this chapter SO MUCH! (And I have at last have a character I can bring out when you start scaring me about what's going to happen to Blackburn.)


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Review #10, by DracosGirl012 Hot and Cold

10th October 2014:
The igloo sounded so awesome! Really creative, too!! I feel bad for Hugo-- I know what it's like, not being able to play properly with other kids. It's why I just stuck to my Barbie dolls rather than trying to play with other kids. :p anyways this chapter was really good :) can't wait for the next one!! :)

Author's Response: My siblings and I built a (rather smaller) igloo one time it snowed, which is what I got the idea from. Yeah, it struck me how hard it would be not being able to join in properly - in a club I helped out with we had one girl in a wheelchair and while we always tried to organise activities she could join in with there were always things she couldn't do but she never complained out loud.
Thank you! Next chapter's waiting in the queue. :)


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Review #11, by DracosGirl012 Behind the Veil

9th October 2014:
Love the story about the boy who wrote to George! It makes a lot of sense, and it's very realistic. I actually loved George, and the "A whole world of sight-related humor" line kinda made me tear up a bit :(
Great chapter! Will be reading the next one tomorrow :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Oh yes, I had to throw in some Fred feels, because that's the kind of person I am. Really glad you like it!

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Review #12, by MargaretLane Hot and Cold

5th October 2014:
Yikes, they seem to have a LOT of snow. There have been only two years when we've had snow deep enough to sled or stuff in. I guess in the mountains and places they get it more often.

I guess the descriptions of colours wouldn't mean much to Hugo as he wouldn't know what white looked like.

LOVE the mention of the law about Apparating with animals. I love little details like that that add to what we know about the wizarding world and you are so good at them.

I can see why that would be frustrating either way in the snowball fight. I think they should throw a few at him, but not as many as they would at others, so that he is included, but not constantly being pelted with snowballs he can't see coming.

Hugo is so excluded. He's caught between the world of his Muggle classmates, that he can't fully participate in because he's a wizard and inviting them around to his house might give something away and the world of his family, that he can't fully participate in because of his blindness.

It must be hard enough for magical children before they start Hogwarts anyway, with kids a few years older than them away at Hogwarts and a divide between them and Muggle children their age. Maybe that's why they all seem enthusiastic about starting Hogwarts, even if it means leaving their families at such a young age and seems like a pretty dangerous place.

Poor Rhiannon. She must have had a pretty horrible time.

Author's Response: Yeah, that's quite a bit of snow for England, but we did have about that last year and climate change only increases the chances of it.

That law about apparating with animals was a bit awkward because I suddenly realised I had a possible contradiction in a later chapter, but I've vaguified (that's a word 'cause I says so) it so there isn't a straight out contradiction. And I do like the idea of that law, so I didn't want to take it out. Of course we don't know the specifics of the law... yeah, anyway, moving on...

That OF I mentioned to you, I was actually considering using Rhiannon as the MC in that (Not quite the same characterisation and situation, but similar. Though I'm not sure I could face doing another blind character! They're hard work to write.) So her time might have been more horrible than suggested in Rainfall, but I don't want it to get too dark or complicated here... Well, Rhiannon's a plucky kid and I like her. Yeah, I know, poor Rhiannon...


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Review #13, by BellaLestrange87 Parents

29th September 2014:
Yay a new chapter!

Missing word - "It's very rare, although not unheard of, for consider human prey." For it to consider a human prey?

Hugo definitely has the unattractiveness side of snow on point, although I think frozen water might be the definition of ice, not snow. It does look pretty, but of course he wouldn't know that, so obviously he would prefer to stay inside and listen to Luna's description.

You show his frustration well. The fact that he doesn't feel understood by anybody about not wanting to go out - they can all see the pretty snow, and all he knows is that it's cold. Turning the TV off to try and get him to go out seems like something Hermione would do.

When Hugo's in his room alone after he storms off, he mentions that the air is cold. Do wizards not have a way to heat their house? Or did someone leave a window open? Wouldn't he also be able to hear the sound of Hermione breathing?

Missing plural in one sentence; it should be "But by some fluke they got targeted that night and killed by Death Eaters, for fun."

Maybe past tense would work better here - "Everything I'd done to protect them from being used against me, it had been enough, the Death Eaters never realized they were my parents."

If Hugo was raised in a wizarding family, would he know what a gun is? It seems reasonable to think that some form of Muggle culture would have leaked through on Hermione's account, but I think she'd want to keep some of the nastier parts (murder weapons and such) away from her kids.

Hugo's end-of-chapter fantasy about a snow house seems exactly like the kind of things a ten-year-old would think about in winter (and the snowball fight with Hermione is also something I could see a ten-year-old boy doing); besides, he has the family to make it possible.

I like what you've done with Hermione's parents - killing them off. That might sound silly, but having someone close to the main trio (closer than Fred, or Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, or Dumbledore) die brings more realism to the war and tempers that "happily ever after" epilogue. The way they died - randomly targeted by Death Eaters - sounds like it could be truth. (Of course, we don't know.) After they took control of the Ministry they probably started mass attacks.

Another great chapter!

~Olivia

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Review #14, by MargaretLane Parents

29th September 2014:
This line sounds a bit off. "It's very rare - though not unheard of - for consider a human prey." I kinda feel it should be something like, "for them to consider a human prey".

*laughs at Rose being all enthusiastic about snow while Hugo is trying to watch an educational program* It's so much the opposite of what my characters would be doing.

*hugs Hugo* This was me every time my family wanted me to go for a walk as a child - OK, usually when I was younger than Hugo. Walking was such a waste of reading time!

And I think you know from out conversation the other day why I'm glad Hermione promises not to read Hugo's writing.

Oh gosh, POOR Hermione. That is so horrible. *huggles her tightly*

You've written "the Death Eaters never realise they were my parents" instead of "realised."

I LOVE the part where he realises she'll be less likely to dwell on things if he's with her. He is so insightful.

I actually laughed at the comment about him going out completely naked.

That's always what strikes me about Hogwarts - eleven year olds leaving their families and only coming home for a couple of weeks a year. Now, we've discussed Irish attitude to homecoming and how it's the norm even for college students to return home at weekends (it's the norm in most boarding schools here too) and even with that, I know some people who found first year of college very hard. And if 17/18 year olds found it hard being away from their families 5/7s of the term time, how much harder must it for ELEVEN year olds to be away for months at a go?

LOVE the last two paragraphs. You describe the whole scene so graphically.

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Review #15, by UnluckyStar57 Past and Future

27th September 2014:
Hi again! This review is for Story Search 1, in which we're reviewing people with January, May, and October birthdays. :)

Oof, Hugo is asking some DEEP questions in this chapter. It really hurts to see how his relationships with his parents are so affected by his blindness, how he thinks that they've given up on him (and maybe they have, but it's terrible for a child to believe that his parents are lying to him/don't really believe that he'll get better). Hugo's character is so full of cynicism and angst, and it just breaks my heart to read about it. :(

And Harry seemed to be having some trouble in this chapter, too! It's a sign of the adults' continued immaturity (from their younger years) that they would elect to have such a conversation as the one about the Potters' house in front of Lily and Hugo. Perhaps they think that the kids aren't paying attention, but they certainly are. I hope that Harry can begin to accept his parents' house as a better place to live (once it gets fixed) than ratty old Grimmauld Place. And that he stops regretting naming his children and his dog after dead people. Why is he bringing all of these regrets up right now? Does he usually do this, or is this something out of the ordinary?

I also loved the scene in which Hugo played the piano. I think that he really seems to love the instrument, and it gives him a creative outlet to release his inner frustrations. Will he begin to compose his own music? That would be cool!

Really wonderful chapter, although it was so angsty/heavy. I loved the sensory language that you used to describe the rainfall--it seems like you can really get in touch with your other senses when sight is not an option, even in writing. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi! Just so you know, I respond to reviews in a thoroughly illogical order. :P

Hugo hasn't the most healthy mindset. His parents have NOT given up on him, and they don't see him as a burden, and they wouldn't swap him for a sighted child given the opportunity, but his mood fluctuates and when he's at a low point he convinces himself that he's a burden and everyone's lying to him and so on. When he's in a light mood, he doesn't think about things like that. But he gets miserable a lot. Poor kid. There are times I want to both slap and hug him - he does have a mind of his own rather.

Yeah, the adults are being pretty immature. Harry's bringing the regrets up because talking about the Godric's Hollow house means he has to think about things he's locked away - his parents' deaths, and the war, and so on. He could have accepted and come to terms with those things, but he's been locking them away instead, and so those feelings are still strong when he lets them out. I think he's got some strong self-doubt, too, something that was pretty evident in his younger years.

The sensory language is something I've gotten the hang of through writing this story - it was hard at first, but takes a lot less thought now.

Thank you so much!

~ Leo xx



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Review #16, by UnluckyStar57 King's Cross

23rd September 2014:
HI LEO!!!

I'm so sorry that I'm so late with this review. In your request you said that you have eight chapters up, and well, now you have ten. So it's been a while, but I'll try to make this a nice, comprehensive review. :)

Okay, so first of all, yes. When I read your one-shot, I was immediately enthralled by the idea of writing a story from the perspective of a person who cannot use visual descriptions to describe things. That is so, so difficult to do (from what I understand), but you have done such a brilliant job of setting up the scene and the characters and everything. I also really liked the idea because Hugo plays the piano, and I myself am a piano player. :)

Your descriptions of things, while you can't always use sight as a medium, are really really good. I love that you used Lily as a sort of go-between for Hugo in the beginning. She describes the world as she sees it, and he has to rely on his imagination and other senses to picture it. The only descriptor that I'm uncertain about in the whole chapter is the one about the Hogwarts Express--the physical description is excellent, but "red" seems to be an impossible description because Hugo has never seen the color before. I suppose that Lily may have called it "red," and Hugo knows that it is a color, so he adds it in for the benefit of his seeing audience? Ugh, whatever the case may be, it's not a big deal at all. Sorry for talking in circles! D:

Ah, Al and Rose are Ravenclaws! Woot! It's going to be interesting to hear about their adventures second-hand from the letters they send, especially since Hugo and Lily are so curious to know about Hogwarts and they're still a few years away from going. I wonder what House they'll end up being in...

Okay, I love how you gave Ron a whole lot more sense than he seems to have in the DH epilogue. In the epilogue, he seems to be the same goofy Ron who only likes Gryffindor, but his comment to Hugo about "do you think your mother will let me disown your sister?!" seems to show a Ron who has grown up. And maybe he was only kidding on the platform. :)

D'aw, Snuffles! He sounds like such a cuddly dog. It creeps me out a little bit that the Potters still live in Grimmauld Place with that awful portrait of Mrs. Black, but such is life, I suppose. Is there a reason why they didn't go and find a new house? Maybe Harry just wanted to make use of the gifts that Sirius gave him?

Arrggghhh, if there are more encounters like the one at the end, I don't know what I'll do. It made me so mad when the little boy kept asking his father questions about Hugo--like, I understand that he's probably young and doesn't know any better, but that's just RUDE. And Hugo was having such a good time on the swings with Lily, and then he falls and it's all just RUINED. Ugh. I find it really interesting that he's so cynical and bitter at the age of only nine years old, but I completely understand why. It makes a lot of sense for him to be more jaded and adult-like than a typical nine-year-old because he's already been through so many awful things. :/

What sorts of stories does Hugo write, I wonder? I'm sure I'll find out in a later chapter. :)

So, bottom line: This was a brilliant chapter and I love how your one-shot establishes the premise for it already. I haven't even read the one-shot since July, but I can still remember what was going on--that's how vivid it was and how much the concept of this story stuck out to me. And honestly, I had every intention of reading/reviewing this story as you posted each chapter, but time got in the way. :( So thanks for requesting a review so that I could finally read it! I can tell that it's going to be a remarkable tale. :D

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #17, by MargaretLane Behind the Veil

21st September 2014:
You should DEFINITELY read Plato. Hermione's argument has echoes of the Parable of the Cave that I was talking about.

And Hugo is extremely expressive for a ten year old. Maybe his blindness plays a part as it means he has to communicate entirely verbally. I wish I'd been able to express such ideas at ten. I had a lot of thoughts I couldn't put into words at that stage.

*laughs at Ron* He is now reminding me of yet another de Valera story. Dev was teaching his son Maths and took him out to where they had cabbages planted and started telling him how you could work out mathematically exactly how far apart they should be planted. Then his wife came out to tell them their dinner was ready or something, heard the discussion and said, "gosh, by the time you'd figured all that out, the cabbages would have withered."

I hope Rose is OK. Not getting up early on Christmas morning seems kind of ominous in a way I can't quite put my finger on. I think it's just the implication that it's a change in her behaviour.

Is it normal to get stockings of small presents as well as your big presents in the UK? As a child, I always thought the stocking was more metaphorical these days, but I've come across it in British stories. Don't know if anybody does it here. It's not necessarily something that comes up in conversation, but I haven't come across it.

Oh, of COURSE, the cards wouldn't be much good to him, would they?

Even flooing shows the difference between your Hugo and mine.

Mrs. Weasley is like the stereotypical grandma, isn't she?

*cheers for the joke being in braille*

The point about braille being like a secret code reminds me of teaching ogham. It tends to be good fun as 12 year olds tend to like codes.

And one thing that confused me a little. George mentioned his "three" had grown up with his ear missing. He has two kids. I'm not sure whether it was a mistake or if he was including his wife, even though she didn't grow up with it or if you've added an OC kid, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

George is miserable? I wonder if that's because of the loss of Fred. Are ANY of your characters happy?

You know how we often talk about the cultural differences between the UK and Ireland. Fireworks are one of the ones that often strike me. I know this is the wizarding world and has different laws anyway, but I do know fireworks are legal even in Muggle Britain. Here, fireworks are either illegal bangers or else the very rare official display.

And yeah, fireworks must be pretty boring and annoying if you are blind.

*laughs at the elderly witches and wizards wanting to trick their spouses or carers or flat-mates*

And trust George to agree with his nephew that Percy is one of the most boring people in the world.

I really like the depth you've given George here. He's still a prankster and still makes jokes, but behind it all, he's never really recovered from Fred's death. Poor guy.

Love the part about George and Charlie trying to crack the nuts.

Excellent chapter.

Author's Response: There are an awful lot of things I should read. I might actually get around to reading some of them one day!

There was a time when you couldn't put things into words? *laughs* I think Hugo spends a lot of time thinking, plus he can't rely on body language and wild arm-waving to get his points across. Well, he technically could, but it would feel really weird to him.

Rose is feeling grown up, having been thrust into a boarding school with few or no friends where she's suddenly had to become a lot more independent. Yes, it does seem rather ominous, doesn't it?!

YE DON'T GET STOCKINGS? *stares in shock and sympathy* Yeah, we get stocking with comics, fancy pens, bars of chocolate, and/or other small toys. And ALWAYS a satsuma in the toe.

It's the little things which show most how much difference his blindness makes - flooing and chocolate frog cards.

Love Mrs Weasley. :)

Oops. It was supposed to be two. I've edited it. Thank you. I probably had Bill's three in my head or something.

Are any of my characters happy? Hmm, let me think about that... short answer: nope, or at least they won't be right the way through the series. Come on, Lily's not THAT miserable. And Louis. Don't try to tell me Louis' not pretty happy. But major characters and half the minor characters... nope! ;)

Firework displays get boring once you've seen enough of them. I've told you about our insane bonfire night displays, and we get way more firework displays than just bonfire night. Official displays and private ones in peoples' gardens. We used to have a box of fireworks to use in our garden when I was younger, but we stopped bothering because we see fireworks so often they've lost the novelty factor. You have to be 18 to buy them and use them responsibly, but they're easy enough to be a part of pretty much any celebration.

Poor George. But would you expect him to recover completely?

The attempt to crack almonds without a nutcracker is derived from my own memories of a certain family Christmas. An older cousin, my dad, and my brother were involved. The rest of us were busy laughing!

Thank you! :D *hugs*







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Review #18, by crestwood King's Cross

16th September 2014:
Hey Leonore!

I am terribly late on getting around to this story. It seems like everything just blew up simultaneously and I was a little swamped. But, I like to think I make up for my tardiness by returning to review every chapter.

When I started reading this chapter earlier today, I was struck by this strong sense of deja vu. I was just reading lines and something was so familiar about them. I went to go see if you had put up a preview on the forums and then I looked through your comment on a thread about writing a blind character and I was sure that'd be it, but it wasn't. After a lot of confusion I realized that I had previously read this chapter months ago and forgotten to come back to review and read on! Really glad you requested this now because I've had the lines 'My throat's hard and painful, my eyes stinging. That's all they're good for, isn't it? Making me look like a baby' floating around my head for months and could not figure out where they were from or what character said them. I love the scene in which Hugo interacts with that Muggle kid, by the way. Excellent way to display his annoyance with how people treat him.

I'll tell you, I wasn't totally sure how this would work. I didn't know how well a story from the perspective of a blind individual would flow. It completely strips you of most writers' greatest tool, which is visuals. It does seem as though you've found some miraculous way to get around that though. You use touch, sound and even smell to give us some of the description you'd think we would miss out on. And in the rare case we need to understand what something looks like, there's always someone there to explain it to him. Which, is realistic as I spent a good portion of my childhood explaining what mundane objects looked like to my grandmother haha.

Okay, do you know someone who is blind? Or did you research somehow or what, because this is a really, really accurate portrayal. I've seen you talk about this story around the forums and I could tell that you were really passionate about it, but I never imagined that you'd have slipped into the mind of a blind child so effectively.

Hugo's home life doesn't really sound like something he particularly enjoys. I can understand why he'd want to sit in his room and write stories (beyond that being more or less what I do) because, as he tells it, when he spends time with his parents it becomes awkward. It would be unnerving to have a room be silent and not know if people are staring at you or watching everything you do or exchanging meaningful looks as they observe you. And not to mention how annoying it must be to have people constantly surprised that he has overheard their conversations they have when he is right near them! Obviously he'd listen more intently than someone with sight not the other way around. It just must be hard living like he does. I would love to see him at his Muggle school in which he feels like he fits in because everyone else is also blind. I'd like to see the change in him between feeling left out and feeling like he belongs.

Hugo is a very smart ten year old kid. Not in the sense that I feel as though you've written him too mature or adult-like though, he certainly still seems as though he is a child. Just a smart child for his age. I think having the disability he has necessitated some sped up maturity. As he has always had a disadvantage, he's always had to accept the unfair nature of life as far back as he remembers. I imagine that'd be a strange feeling to never be naive enough to imagine that the world as fair and just. Just a little thing I thought worth mentioning. I am rambling now, aren't I?

The point of all of this, is that you've written a spectacular opening chapter with a character and plot that is really difficult to pull off. I attempt to write some pretty challenging ideas myself, but I don't think I would have had the nerve to write this story, and for that I applaud you. This is endlessly intriguing and impressive and I can't wait to read further!

Author's Response: Hey!

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU SO SO MUCH, I am sitting here staring at this review and it has just made my day completely and now I'm going to walk around for the entire evening with this giant stupid smile on my face.

You've had that floating round your head? This response is going to consist of me giving up on sounding like an intelligent adult and just thumping my keyboard because asdfghjklkjhgfdsdlshilhdaiud

Oh, I love the scene with the muggle kid. The mood's so positive, and I wanted to bring it crashing down, and I think that scene did it perfectly. And actually for a start it's a reminder of the fact that other people treat him differently - and especially coming from a kid, who's likely to say what he's thinking and not be sympathetic or politically correct or anything.

Visuals. I miss visuals so much. I just wrote a one-shot, the first story apart from this one that I've really gotten into for months now (I've started a few and abandoned them half a chapter in and gone back to this novel) and it was just so nice to be able to use visual description and all my usual imagery! Writing from Hugo's POV is certainly restrictive, but I've had to find those ways around it and I'm actually really proud of my (visual-less) descriptions. And I think it's done my description in general wonders because I've HAD to think about senses that I wouldn't usually consider, and I don't think I'll end up suddenly forgetting them again when I leave Hugo and can use visuals again.

No, I don't actually know anyone who's blind. Not beyond blind adults I've seen on trains and in the streets. I come up with characters by imagining what it would be like to be in that situation, by considering all the factors and just thinking "what would my reaction be?" and actually I have a really good feel for Hugo's character now so I know how he reacts and how he thinks and the kinds of things he says. I don't know quite HOW I developed him, actually. I just sort of had this picture in my head and he grew and he was there as you see him in the story. Everything he says and does is just what seems logical and RIGHT to me. If that makes sense.

Yeah, I'm passionate about it, and I'm so so happy reading this and seeing that I've managed to pull it off and other people like it too and that it's not exactly standard but the risks are paying off and it does actually work.

Sitting in room writing. Yeah, that's what I do too. But then we sit in our rooms and communicating with other authors over the internet, while he sits there writing on his own (yeah, he's too young to be chatting to people over the internet, and it would be worrying if he was, but you know...) Yeah, I bet it would be unnerving to not know whether people are watching you and even whether they're still in the room if they're being quiet. Oh, you'll get to see him at his Muggle school later!

That's just what I feel about him, with the maturity! Everything I've thought about whilst writing you're mentioning now and it's amazing people are able to pick up on these things!

Rambling is the best. You may have noticed that I do it occasionally...

Thank you so much! I'm still grinning and I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think of the rest! I love this story and it makes me so happy when I hear that other people like it too and it's not just me.

Um, intelligent conclusion to response... *flails* THANK YOU!!!


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Review #19, by BellaLestrange87 The Slytherin Conspiracy

15th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

Hi Leo! First off, I apologize for any spelling errors. I'm on my phone.

This was an interesting chapter. Louis talking about the Slytherin conspiracy... I will admit I thought all the Weasleys would be in Gryffindor, but I guess it's not just Rose in another house.

So I'm 99% sure that Louis was joking, but Slytherins trying to take over would add a lot of conflict.

*laughs at Percy confronting the Muggle in pajamas*

I'm actually feeling sorry for Audrey. Maybe she has no talent for baking.

Rain on Christmas holidays? It must be a really warm Christmas - otherwise there'd be snow.

Great chapter though!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hey Olivia!

Oh, I can't imagine them all being in Gryffindor. Yeah, I know there's the Weasley=Gryffindor thing in Harry's time, but I can't imagine all the next-gen kids being there. It doesn't fit the characters I have for them in my head.

Yeah, Louis is a bit of an entertainer and a show-off, and he's amusing them all with crazy plans. If there's a Slytherin conspiracy (maybe there is, maybe there isn't), it might not involve setting the world on fire and colonising the moon...

Yeah, poor Audrey. Her talents lie in other areas, but she feels a bit like not baking makes her a bad Weasley woman.

Actually, rain in the Christmas holidays is common over here in England. Yes, there's this romantic picture, but I'm not sure I remember seeing a single white Christmas in my life. Maybe one... Snow's pretty rare, anyway - we often get a few inches in January, but it doesn't last long. A British winter is pretty different to, say, a Canadian one! (unfortunately) ;)

Thank you!

~ Leo xx


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Review #20, by Midnight spark The Slytherin Conspiracy

15th September 2014:
Hi there! It's me from the forums with your LONG LONG overdue review!
First of all, REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry for the delay! I just had no time at all!

Now on to your story: What an inspiring story! I've never actually read a story with Hugo as the main character, but I think I'm going to rethink that from now! The fact that Hugo is blind,but still he does everything others can do, and much much more brilliant than others really touched me!

And Rose is very brilliant! I really enjoyed reading about them when they were young, because I usually read about them when they are at least sixteen. So that was a great change.

I absolutely ADORE your writing style and pacing! Wish I could manage it.

Good job and thanks for the read!
Sana

Author's Response: Hiya! Don't worry about not having time before - I know the feeling! I'm just happy you've taken the time to read and review this at all :)

Thank you so much! I've never read a story with Hugo as the main character either, but he seemed to fit this perfectly - from the little we saw of him in the epilogue, there isn't anything to prove he's NOT blind, and his personality seemed to fit too. Poor Hugo. He's had to go through a lot, but as a result he's very determined.

Thank you so much! Really glad you liked it :D

~ Leo xx


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Review #21, by True The Slytherin Conspiracy

13th September 2014:
Hi! I've been binge-reading your story, and it's amazing! You've brought out all the emotions really well.

I love Hugo - you've portrayed him so well. the harp is a lovely touch! I like Rose too; insecure but still a bit annoying. Hermione and Lily are lovely as well.

Just something I picked up:
"It takes me a second to look across to Albus; he's staring at the floor in miserable silence." Now, I can understand that Hugo could pick up Al's miserable vibes, but how would he know that AL is staring at the floor?

Other than that, this story was great! Good job :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much!

I'm very fond of Hugo and I'm really glad you like him too. It's the first time I've really gotten into the main character's head in a novel and felt like I know them properly.

Ah. I totally didn't realise I'd written that. Eliminating visual description from my writing is perhaps the hardest thing about writing from Hugo's POV and I think I had a mind blank whilst speed writing during JulNo. Thanks for pointing it out - I'll fix it now.

Thank you so much, and I really hope you enjoy the rest! I put a chapter into the queue every Wednesday, just to let you know :)


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Review #22, by MargaretLane The Slytherin Conspiracy

13th September 2014:
*laughs* In my story, the family spend Christmas at the Burrow and Boxing day at the Grangers, but of course, YOU'VE GONE AND KILLED HERMIONE'S PARENTS, so that isn't possible.

*laughs at James is in the same year, but you wouldn't realise it* No, somehow I would imagine Molly as more mature than James.

Love the way you characterise James in a couple of lines. The way he repeats himself a lot and seems to think his pranks are funny kind of suns up how oblivious he is to the fact others aren't interested. And the fact he boasts about having to redo essays also gives an insight into his character. It's great to get these little details, when most of the characters are away at Hogwarts and we don't see much of them, so there is only the odd detail to let us see what they're like.

I like your Louis actually. I know he's only had a few lines, but he seems to have a sense of humour. When you said he was in Slytherin, I sort of imagined him as being like mine - not that there was any reason he should be, but it made me think mine would really fit Slytherin and I started imagining him that way. Yours seems nicer though.

Hmm, I wonder why Albus is miserable. Not going to hug him, because I doubt he'd like it much, but sympathises with him. I wonder if he's still worried about the house thing or if he just doesn't like the crowd.

*laughs* I can't spell, but I don't think that prevents me being a Ravenclaw. But yeah, nothing wrong with Hufflepuff; they're my second favourite house. I got Hufflepuff on the Pottermore quiz actually, but I don't think I really AM a Hufflepuff. I CAN be loyal and hard-working, but not particularly so, and I'm really only hard-working when it comes to academic stuff anyway, which is more Ravenclaw. I could probably spell antidisestlishmentarianism - I think that's right. My spelling is pretty erratic. I can spell words most people get wrong and can't spell some that are considered easy.

Calvinism brought to Scotland by John Knox. Is that taught in Britain? The Reformation is part of the Junior Cert. course here, but of course, Hogwarts kids wouldn't know Muggle secondary school history courses anyway.

This is why shops should not open on St. Stephen's day/Boxing day. *glares at Irish shops starting to do so*

And I REALLY like the idea of Fred being one of the quiet ones. Most stories, including my own, have him as a messer, so it's good to see a different characterisation.

I find it interesting so many of the Weasley kids are quiet, when the older generation certainly WEREN'T. Maybe that's why. Maybe a lot of them feel overpowered by their parents. I mean, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, George and Percy are all, in different ways, people who make their presence felt.

*laughs* There's also about three years between Fred and Roxanne in mine and they are also the youngest of the cousins, but Fred is about three years younger than Lily and Hugo.

I think your Hugo will be a Ravenclaw when he gets to Hogwarts. He seems to fit perfectly and he'd be really good at the riddles. He seems to have that kind of mind.

*grins* I'm glad Hugo had a pretty happy chapter here. It's funny. The last title sounded cheerful and wasn't and this chapter sounded ominous, but was much more cheerful.

And this is one of the most random reviews I've ever given.

Author's Response: YES, I KILLED HERMIONE'S PARENTS. I AM EVIL. *cackles*

A large part of this chapter is characterising all the other next-gen kids who we haven't really met yet. James is an idiot. Al's really quiet and withdrawn because he has difficulties with social interaction and being thrown in with all of these people - who are all very comfortable with each other - he's kind of withdrawn. He doesn't really know how to get involved in the conversation - at least that's how I'm trying to present it. He's not really bothered about the house thing any more, I don't think; it's the crowd that's bothering him.

I love Louis. I've seen him portrayed as pretty spiteful or aloof, especially when he's put in Slytherin, but I thought I'd make him kind of self-depreciating. He's still ambitious and proud of his house, and he fits the characteristics, but he's also popular and a bit of a joker. A bit of a show-off, actually, and very good with people.

I think I can see the Hufflepuff in you, but I'd say you're definitely a Ravenclaw! And no, it has nothing to do with spelling. Actually, your spelling is incorrect. It's antidisestABlishmentarianism. Anti-dis-establish-ment-arian-ism. Really hoping I haven't got any typos in there, because I keep checking. It's not that hard because it's made up of standard prefixes and suffixes, you just have to get them in order! But it's the longest word in the English language (medical terms don't count) which is why they made a thing about it. Can relate on the spelling front. My spelling used to be so much better before I started writing a lot, conversely enough.

No, that's not really taught here, though the name may pop up in one lesson in about the relevant section of the syllabus. And... urgh, I can't even remember most of the stuff we did before GCSE in History! Our GCSE was all 20th century stuff, and KS3 we did King John (Thomas Becket, Peasant's Revolt, and of course Magna Carta), Elisabeth I and the Spanish Armada, Empire and slavery, the Industrial Revolution, and WW1. There might have been a bit more, but if so I don't remember it. And stuff at Primary School wasn't in much depth. I think Al's just acquired the information somewhere or other, probably because he got interested in a particular book and read it and remembered it all. I picked the word by, um, looking for words that were hard to spell. There's no more meaning to my word choice than that!

Over here, all the large chains and even a lot of the small shops open on Boxing day. Some of them open EARLY for the boxing day sales to begin - not even normal Sunday opening hours (which are still limited by law). Can't remember whether it's 6am or 6.30 or something for some of them. CHARITY SHOPS open on bank holidays. Keep glaring at those Irish shops!

I think Fred doesn't like the expectations. He's been named after the other Fred, obviously, and he might often feel like George wants Fred to be like Fred Sr.. So Fred might feel a bit guilty, but also angry that his dad is comparing him to his uncle rather than accepting him in his own right. And George didn't just get over Fred Sr.'s death and move on. I've also read an amazing one-shot, can't remember who by, of Fred really struggling with the expectations on him as a result of people wanting to be like his uncle.

Yeah, overpowered, and also they've grown up in families with parents struggling to recover from the war.

Hugo = Ravenclaw. First prediction! Maybe, maybe not...

I find it hilarious when you start judging my chapter titles because you keep on making completely the wrong predictions! *laughs*

I will convert you to randomness. It might take a while, but I will win out in the end. Hey, you had a conversation with "Leo on a sugar high" yesterday, so I'm not sure how you can describe something as logical and thought-through as this review as "random"!

Thank you! *squishes in giant hug* :D


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Review #23, by lexiatel Live in Concert

11th September 2014:
Just wonderful! You're amazing at this!

I was kind of curious about the guide dog, and if you would actually introduce such into the story.

I knew it was a harp too! Funny, hmm... Anyway I LOVE harps **sighs dreamily**

I feel so bad for Hugo... and yet, he would hate me for it. :( Not like I would let him know it everyday.

I noticed something while I was reading...

There are other people arriving too, and I hold Mum's hard tight. - "hard" should be "hand"?

Rated 10/10 Keep up the fabulous job.

Author's Response: Hi Lexi!

Thank you so much!

Would I introduce a guide dog... hmm... you'll just have to wait and see!

I love harps too! Describing the sounds made by musical instruments is a pain, but at least I did well enough that you recognised it!

Hugo's not in the nicest situation, but he's not actually the person I feel most sorry for. There are characters in worse situations which I feel worse for. Doesn't mean I won't carry on torturing them but yeah... And Hugo would hate the idea that you felt sorry for him, and he's convinced everyone feels sorry for him anyway so you'd have to do a very good job of "proving" otherwise!

Thanks for pointing that out.

Thank you! I really hope you enjoy the rest too!

~ Leo xx


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Review #24, by DracosGirl012 Christmas Cheer

11th September 2014:
Poor Rose. I feel bad for her not having very many friends.
I really got a kick out of Ron's caroling though!! Too funny, and exactly what he'd do. I laughed at the hot-dog scene, lol. And I really liked the Christmas tree scene.
Anyway, brilliant chapter as usual! :)

Author's Response: Thank you :D
Yeah, poor Rose. She's one of those people who just has no idea how to fit in.
And Ron... oh, Ron... I love writing Ron.
So glad you liked it!
~ Leo xx


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Review #25, by MargaretLane Christmas Cheer

9th September 2014:
*laughs* Your James seems a little like mine on first glance.

I'm not sure about the "but he didn't say it" in the middle of James's ramble. It seems to kind of confuse the sentence.

Your Rose sounds a little like mine too, although you've said there are a lot of differences when I get to know her. Her over-protectiveness and the way she doesn't even ask if Al wants her around is sort of like my Rose.

Ah, now I see the difference. In a way, it's almost as if your Rose is pretending to be mine, if that makes any sense. Like she's pretending to be the confident, successful person who sorts things out for everybody else, whereas really she's pretty insecure herself.

I think I do like your Rose. *huggles her tightly* I think in some ways she's typical of a lot of very smart kids, and she does sound smart. It can be isolating.

I love Hugo's thought about "well, obviously it is or I wouldn't have said it."

Aw, not I feel so sorry for Rose when there is a catch in her voice.

Kids like Rose, I always just want to put my arm around or something and tell them it WON'T always be like this, that they AREN'T strange or "different" and that some day, when their peers mature, people will start admiring them for being smart and original.

And at least her problems are normal ones and she's not majorly traumatised, as far as I can see.

In 'tis, the apostrophe should be before the "t", not after it, as it replaces the missing "i".

If it's after the 8th of December, it's Christmastime. *nods* I know technically Christmas day is the first day of Christmas, but the 8th has marked the start of the Christmas season over here for I don't know how long, so yeah. They've now started switching on Christmas lights in towns and playing Christmas music in shops before the 8th and grr.

Like the detail about how boring it is picking a Christmas tree when he can't even see them.

Aw, poor Hugo. He's not enjoying Christmas, is he?

Author's Response: I had to refrain from comment when I told you the title of this chapter and you said you liked the sound of it. I like ironic titles.

I think the difference between our Jameses is that yours is actually reasonably popular while mine thinks he is but isn't. He's completely oblivious to the fact that other people find him annoying and keeps on acting like he's the centre of the universe when no one else is particularly bothered about him. At some point, maybe he'll wake up and realise that, and I pity him then.

Yay, I hoped you'd like my Rose! Yeah, that's the big difference: your Rose is overconfident, mine's insecure. She's trying to be helpful and make friends and get people to like her, but she has no idea how and she can't figure out what she's doing wrong. That's well put: my Rose is pretending to be yours.

There's a lot of mileage in normal problems. No, she's not majorly traumatised yet.

I will tidy up those things.

Advent could be seen as the start of Christmastime and that starts on the 1st December - that's when you start getting advent calenders and candles and places really start decorating and there's Christmas music in shops. Christmas trees don't tend to go up until later, especially if they're real ones, because for a start they'd lose all their needles by Christmas. And the lights in the town go on I think first weekend of Advent. Rose is home from Hogwarts, so this chapter probably starts just after the 8th.

No, Hugo's not enjoying Christmas, at least not at the moment. Poor kid.

Thank you! *huggles* So happy you like it, especially my Rose. :D


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