Reading Reviews for Rainfall
59 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne King's Cross

10th September 2015:
Aww I wonder why he's flinching? I'm glad that he has Lily there to hold his hand.

Oh! He's blind! That's why! How did I not remember that from the summary? Now I feel like a loser!

Awww I wonder what happened to Hermione, and why that caused Hugo's blindness.

I love that he writes stories, I love that so much! Although not as much as I love Ron, Lily and Hugo swimming! That is such an adorable and cute scene. :D I love seeing Ron playing the dad role!

Lily is so brilliant in this, and I love that no matter what she's always describing things to Hugo, she doesn't seem to get bored or annoyed at doing it and that's just amazing.


Awww oh Hugo! I just want to hug him so much!

You've done such an amazing job with this chapter, and describing Hugo's blindness. It's obvious how much research and thought you've put into this, and it's so brilliant!

Keep up the amazing work!

Author's Response: Aww, you're not a loser! I don't like people getting things from the summary anyway - the struggle is to make it sound interesting while giving as little away as possible! So if people forget the contents of it, that's awesome! :P

If you want to know what happened to Hermione... um, chapter 8, I think? ;)

Yes, I love my sweet little Hugo! I actually had to write bits of his stories for later in this story, and it was great fun - he's got a slightly different style to me! (Very imaginative kid). They're all adorable - I did have "fluff" as a genre for a while, actually, until I realised it got a little... unfluffy, later. But those scenes are SO MUCH FUN! And I didn't care for Ron until I started writing but now... *hugs him*

Aw yes, Kreacher. Well, he wanted a cameo, and I could hardly say no could I?

Hahahaha research? OK I do a lot of research sometimes but this chapter was only research into HP stuff, and really mostly just what I figured made sense and what made a good story. "Normal world with a twist" gives plenty of freedom!

Thank you so much, Tammi! You are amazing.

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Review #2, by darkkid King's Cross

12th June 2015:
I REALLY love the first chapter here. Your story is laid out with perfect detailing. You conveyed just enough information without bombarding us with a huge back story. Your pace in this chapter just sets the mood for the whole story!

I have never read a story about blindness, but you seemed to have captured the idea so well. The way he acts is both age appropriate and also disability appropriate (if that makes sense). It was very believable is what I'm trying to say!

Your whole characterization, of all of your characters, is perfect.

You're a very talented writer and I VERY much enjoyed this! After the house cup I will certainly be back to read more!


Slytherin - House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi raisha!

Thank you so much! Very glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you like the rest too when the house cup is over :D

~Leo xx

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Review #3, by cherry_pop94 King's Cross

11th June 2015:
Hi Leonore!

I'm here for the House Cup representing Ravenclaw! This story is amazing and I can't believe I've only just got to it. It's been on my reading list for ages now.

I haven't read much about Hugo before, so this was a really nice break from all the Scorpius and Albus and Rose that Next Gen stories are usually about. And Hugo's blind! I absolutely love this choice, first of all because it definitely adds some much needed diversity, but it also brings out interesting character traits in Ron and Hermione.

I think it's absolutely fitting that Ron would struggle with his son. It's wonderful how hard he tries, but his struggle is evident and realistic. He was never the most empathetic bloke after all. I also like that bit about Ron not quite realizing that Hugo's a little too old to be playing games. That's definitely something all fathers do when their children are growing up. My father asked if I'd like to go to the playground into my teens.

And with Hermione! I think it's lovely that she has learned braille for Hugo and does so much for him. But she's still so in character with her passion of equality and justice. You've played off these two parts of her perfectly here. I'm also really curious to know what condition Hermione had during pregnancy that caused Hugo's blindness.

And Lily is absolutely perfect. The relationship between her and Hugo is wonderful and I can't wait to see how it develops as they age and enter Hogwarts. I'm so curious to know how Hogwarts deals with disability because it sometimes seems that the castle with the twisting moving staircases would not be ideal at all. So far, it seems that Hugo mostly uses muggle devices, so I'm excited to see how magic works into this.

Thanks for sharing this!!


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Review #4, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack King's Cross

2nd May 2015:
Greetings, Leonore! I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, an elusive inhabitant of the northern forest who takes great pride in my camouflage and ability to hide from the Lovegoods. However, today I've made an interesting discovery: I can camouflage with the HPFF Archives as well, so here I am, as hidden as ever, while I review your story!

I love that you've written a whole novel from the POV of a blind character, as that's not something you see often in fic. (Ahaha, horrible pun, I'm sorry) Hugo has such a wonderful voice as a narrator, and love how you focus on things he hears and feels - even in a story with no visual description, it's all very detailed. I really liked the way you wrote about his blindness - most of all, how there are some things he likes (after all, he's never known anything else) - like how he and his friends at school are so excited that they have their own language that most people don't understand. But you also haven't shied away from the difficulties he faces, like people asking what's wrong with him. Poor kid :(

Lily is a wonderful character too, and really understands Hugo - their friendship is really special. I am fortunate to have a friendship like this with Bigfoot - for the Snorkack's vision is terrible if it's too sunny out (hence why I hide in the densest forests) so Bigfoot sometimes has to help me out if the sun comes out too much. Anyway, I love how close Hugo and Lily are and how he feels so comfortable around her.

This is a wonderful opening chapter to what seems like a very interesting fic. I love it! But now, I must dash for the sun is coming out and I promised I'd meet Bigfoot for tea.

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Epilogue

10th December 2014:
Love the harps and are the small drums bodhráns? I like bodhráns. They are awesome.

Oh, I don't know what to say here. I don't want to give away something about my year four, but I sort of want to say something. *grins*

Aw, Hugo's missing a lot when it comes to the game. There's not much to be experienced there if you are blind.

*laughs at the Brazilians getting a good welcome even though they can't have many supporters there* I think the Irish supporters would welcome everybody anyway, both because we pride ourselves on being welcoming (hey, we want money from tourism) and just because we tend to get a little hyper and carried away at events like those and cheer for anybody and anything.

I must admit, I didn't know the Irish for Nambia.

I always think "céad míle failte" sounds a bit Oirish in its translation. I guess it's because we only ever SAY "a hundred thousand welcomes" when translating directly and that's at events like this, which by definition tend to get a bit touristy.

*grins at the cheers dying down somewhat*

Love the comment about us loving our little island. It's such an...Irish thing to say. I've noticed that when Irish officials praise our country, they often precede it with a reference to its size, as if saying "the best small nation in the world" sounds less arrogant than "the best nation in the world".

Dev is approving of her description of Ireland. *cracks up* It just sort of reminds me of his "the Ireland that we dreamed of" speech.

"Blathering" or "blathering on" might have done instead of "talking" there, if you wanted something that sounded more like she was making fun of herself, but it sounds fine as it is.

I don't know if every sport does that - talks about everybody else involved - but the G.A.A. definitely does. They had an ad referencing things like the person who made hundreds of cups of tea for the team and so on.

Aw, poor Hugo. He's feeling resentful of Rose, which is understandable, and then feeling guilty for that. Poor, poor kid.

LOVE the fairy rings turning into hoops.

LOVE the way they translate "slán abhaile", like they did at the Eucharistic Congress. I would NEVER have thought to translate it as anything other than "safe home", a term commonly used in Ireland anyway, until I saw "safe journey home" used there.

Yes, waterproof is ALWAYS a good idea in Ireland, since rain is pretty much guaranteed.

Irish music sung out of tune is a feature of most events in Ireland.

I like the way Rose's illness has made Hugo realise he is "a normal boy" in the words of the title of your one-shot, but it's sad it had to come to that.

Fair play to him for not letting it define him. And if Dev could be President of Ireland at 90 and totally blind, and while blind, able to throw a sliotar (hurling ball) in the air and hit it with a hurley, amazing all those present, I think Hugo can succeed. He's got plenty of talents and he seems to have a fair share of determination too. I think he'll get there. *glares at you* Don't put too many more obstacles in his way!

*huggles you for the note at the end* And congrats on completing your first novel. It's a pretty awesome achievement. *scatters you with confetti* You know you're a brilliant writer, right?

Author's Response: Yep, they're bodhráns, but of course Hugo wouldn't know the name.

Yeah, those situations always make it hard to figure out what to say.

Yeah, obviously something like this is going to be a very visual event and Hugo's missing out on quite a lot. And I was coming up with all these pictures in my head of things like the chariot painting the rainbow and I couldn't describe them! *cries*

Yeah, the Irish supporters are amazing. Totally hyper.

Wow, I "know" a word of Irish you didn't! :P I decided I could probably get away with getting translations for country names myself, seeing as there's no grammar or contextual weirdness going on.

*cough* You might have given me a link to that speech of Dev's when I was writing this... "Our little island" is also a result of stuff you've said. In fact I told you I was having trouble writing an Irish-style speech (because I find English formality so much easier), and I listen to you too!

Many sports do that, especially the big events like this, and it just seemed to fit - and be something included in an Irish speech.

Yeah, this was going to be entirely happy, but, well... this is me writing. Poor Hugo.

Well, "safe home" just sounds ridiculous to me, and for a start I didn't want every (non-Irish) reviewer pointing out I'd "missed" a word or two. So I went with a normal English equivalent - the Eucharistic Conference version from that picture.

Music sung out of tune is a feature of most events in this country too.

Yeah... Hugo's got a long journey ahead of him, and there's some interesting stuff to come. He's certainly very determined.

Thank you so much! *grabs confetti and throws it all over you too* *huggles tightly* Genuinely, you gave me a reason to not abandon this story, and that could well be what really made the difference between this and all my other stories! (Plus I connected with Hugo more than with any other main character.)

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Review #6, by DracosGirl012 Epilogue

9th December 2014:
Wow- you mentioned me!! Thanks so much for the mention. Honestly I believe that the biggest support that authors can have is support from their readers and that's why I try to always leave a kind word in my reviews.
Rainfall was such a beautiful story. For me it was very deeply personal as I know what it is like to live with a disability. It touched my heart more than once, and even though this story is a Harry Potter story, it is one of the most real, most relatable ones that I have ever come across on this site and that my friend is an amazing thing you have accomplished.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us and I am so excited to read "Rainbow." Hugo will stick with me for a very long time.
Congratulations on marking your story complete. I am very happy for you! And again, thank you so much for mentioning me in your authors note. :)
Merry Christmas (well, Merry almost Christmas actually).

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Review #7, by DracosGirl012 Packing

1st December 2014:
Oh my god so sad!! :(
The scene with Rose and Hugo at the end was soo heartbreaking but beautiful at the same time. Your writing is just really amazing :) I always look forward to new chapters, and each one is brilliant.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is actually the last proper chapter, so that scene is kind of the finale, but I have an epilogue. And then a sequel, which will be up immediately after Christmas! I'm so so happy you like it and I hope you enjoy the epilogue too and follow Hugo into the sequel. :D

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Review #8, by MargaretLane Packing

1st December 2014:
It's late, but I'm going to read this chapter anyway.

Victoire is recovering. That's good. I guessed she was, as I was sure it would have been mentioned if she'd died or had suffered serious complications. Even though obviously Hugo and his parents would be focused on Rose, I don't think they'd COMPLETELY ignore it if a cousin had also suffered severe complications. If nothing else, I'd imagine it'd come up in one of Hermione's rants. But it's nice to be sure.

I'm guessing Victoire didn't get to complete her N.E.W.T.S. I wonder will she repeat the year or maybe she'll do something that doesn't require N.E.W.T.S. We haven't seen much of people like Victoire yet, but then I guess it was only in A.W.L. that she and Dominique began to appear in my series and we've already probably seen more of your Louis than of mine.

While there's nothing actually wrong with it, this sentence just reads awkwardly to me: "by you doing this for me you’ll be freeing up another person to help with the everything else." It might be just a UK English versus Irish English thing, but I kind of had to slow down and read it carefully in order to fully follow it.

When George is telling Hugo about opening the first shop with Fred, you've written "done all he interior design". There's a "t" missing.

And that is my sister's job - designing the lay-out of shops. Reckon she'd have some fun with Weasleys.

50 years would be kind of a short time actually, when you think about it. They were only what? about 19 when they started it and 69 is fairly young for wizards. But I guess at 19 or 20, 50 years would have seemed like forever, an unimaginable length of time. Especially to Fred and George who strike me as rather "live in the moment" types.

That snitch thing seems like something my James would do too, but I don't think he'd do something like torturing Snuffles. Maybe when he was WAY younger, like 8 or something, but he wouldn't do anything deliberately cruel, which is why I liked the idea of his accidentally upsetting Blackburn. Because he would feel guilty about that.

I REALLY like your George, by the way. He is WAY more empathetic than George would usually be portrayed. I guess losing his twin had an effect on him. And I LOVE the relationship between him and Hugo.

*laughs at the special chairs in computer rooms* I'll tell you a story about that sometime. Remind me. I think it might be unprofessional to post it publicly. It's no big deal or anything, but still.

I agree with George that it's not that simple to stop missing somebody or worrying about somebody.

I like Rose being bossy even when she's ill. It's a sign of normality.

That part about her giggling away and him waiting until she got bored and crawled away is so sad. It makes her sound like a toddler and not a 12 year old girl.

AHH, and now there are tears in my eyes. There aren't supposed to be. You aren't supposed to succeed at bringing me to tears. *pokes you* That part about the song being sad and how we can't be happy all the time or it wouldn't be special.

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Review #9, by MargaretLane The Start of Summer

1st December 2014:
Yeah, I can totally see why Hermione would want to stay close to Rose. This is dreadful.

Aw, that paragraph about Hermione being there whenever Rose needed her almost brought tears to my eyes. Although the part about Ron's scary stories giving her nightmares made me chuckle. That is SO Ron. And being upset about getting poor grades is so Rose.

The part about Rose being older now reminded me a little of Alexandrina and Lydia. Rose is still pretty young, though, younger than my first years.

Aw, poor Hugo is feeling left out.

Aw, that part about the image being too beautiful to actually happen and Rose drawing her hand away as if frightened is so sad. It implies Rose is feeling scared and frighted by everything she doesn't remember. Which is understandable, but sad.

When we were in primary school, we used be allowed bring in toys on the last day. Toys and games. In 6th class, we had a video, because we were 12. We had a 15+ video actually; some of the girls wanted to watch it and our teacher said OK, if we were sure our parents wouldn't complain.

And Mrs. Scott doesn't realise that Hugo is already something special, in the sense he has magic, but I agree he's likely to do something special, even by the standards of wizards, because he's already had to deal with difficulties most people of his age haven't. And he seems to be a talented writer AND musician. Not many people have two talents like that.

Oh, when we were in 6th class, we were always told we had to give a good example to the younger ones. We kind of got special privileges in 6th class, unofficially. Like we didn't have to line up when we went somewhere as a class. When we were in 1st and 2nd class, the 6th class would help supervise us at break (girls from my class did the same when WE were in 6th class) and once or twice, they supervised us for short periods if our teacher had to go out for some reason.

At least Rose is starting to say more than just "Mummy" and "Daddy". That's got to be a good sign.

Meeting Callaghan is always a good reason to go somewhere. *huggles him*

And Rose has almost managed to say "frustrating" and seems to remember the meaning of it anyway. That's got to be a good sign, as that's hardly a word a toddler'd know.

*laughs at him shouting at Hermione to stop apologising* It shouldn't be funny. It's sad really, that she feels so helpless. But "stop apologising," "sorry" IS kind of amusing, in a dark way.

And poor Hugo, feeling there's nothing worthwhile he can do. It's SO far from the truth. He's a brilliant musician and writer, seems to be doing well in school - I'd say he does more than the average 10 year old. And compared to Rose right now, there is so much he can do.

But I can see why he's feeling a bit hopeless, between what's happened to his sister and having a disability.

I really like the reversal at the end - the way that beforehand, Rose was the "successful" child, the one who made up for the fact he had a disability (even though I'm sure Hermione and Ron never saw it that way), but now, after what has happened to her, he feels he has to be the successful one. On one hand, it's a lot of pressure on him. On the other, though, it might help him come to terms with his blindness better, if he sees that compared with what has happened to Rose, there is so much he can do and that he's NOT just somebody to be compensated for, that he can be successful in his own right.

I've a feeling you're going to have Hugo end up happy and successful when the series ends. Though, knowing you, I wouldn't be inclined to put money on it.

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Review #10, by MargaretLane Lavender

23rd November 2014:
LOVE the first paragraph here. You do SUCH a good job of showing us the things Hugo would notice. You write WAY more descriptively than I do and I have the benefit of being able to show sights.

The Healer's hesitation sort of gives everything away.

And even though I half-expected Rose to suffer long-term effects, even serious ones; I didn't expect them to be THIS serious. I would never have thought she might not remember how to talk and stuff. I thought it would be more like the early stages of Alzeimher's, with her not being able to remember stuff she's learning at school or forgetting her memories of childhood or going into a room and forgetting what she went in for or stuff, not forgetting how to walk or talk. It's worse than I could even have imagined. I certainly wouldn't have imagine their forgetting to breathe.

You don't do things by half, do you?

Those parts about what she isn't responding to are just scary. Poor, poor Rose.

And poor Hermione. The way she is looking for reassurance, no matter how vague really shows how helpless she feels and how terrified she is. Hermione always wants to KNOW. The fact she is now looking for reassurance, rather than information and pleading for a phrase she was complaining about only a few moments earlier really shows her terror.

I think the uncertainty, when the Healer is pretty much replying to various questions with "hopefully" and stuff, would be terrifying, especially for Hermione, as she always likes to KNOW.

The part where he hears the sound of the hospital wing even at school is sort of creepy and a bit like where my conversation with Callaghan is going.

And of course, being blind, the similar smell is probably even more likely to trigger memories than if he could SEE how different his surroundings were. Poor Hugo. *huggles him* And that sort of fits with the challenge we were discussing, although obviously, it wouldn't really work as an entry, being only a couple of lines.

Ahh, not being able to write is dreadful. That makes bad things even worse, because then you've the annoyance of not being able to write as well as whatever else is bothering you.

And yes, it must be so hard to know he hadn't seen her for months before all this happened and that he barely said much more than goodbye to her.

You are SO good at creating atmosphere. I can almost feel the awkward silence and weirdly enough, I've just mentioned awkward silence to you elsewhere, even though that wasn't literal silence.

I actually shivered at the line about lavender and funeral whispers. Creepy and sad.

I can't help giving a slight smile at the improvements even if they are slow.

And I like the mention of lavender in the Healer's office. It's like it's haunting Hugo.

And you must have cackled when I asked why Rose couldn't speak Irish!

That part where Hermione said, "Mummy's here," came close to bringing tears to my eyes.

And LOVE the comment about how Hermione is supposed to be the strong one. YES. But something like that happening to your child would be enough to break anybody, especially after all Hermione's already been through.

And the way she just accepts what the Healers do. It's a little like Lydia in "No Room at the Inn", when she just accepts whatever is suggested to her.

Shouldn't "stairlift" be one word?

And the fact that Hugo, the baby of the family is the one taking charge here is SO heartbreaking. It shows both the pressure on a ten year old boy AND how helpless his parents must be feeling.

*laughs at nobody being stupid enough to change anything in his room* It's the one line that makes things sound normal. It's such an ordinary-Hugo comment.

Fairies in Irish mythology are pretty scary. It's actually been suggested as one of the reasons for the lack of witch trials here - that misfortune was blamed on the fairies rather than witches.

I love the way you show the changes in Hermione's personality throughout the chapter. And the fact Ron seems to be dealing somewhat better.

And the end again is a little like No Room at the Inn, with both using the idea of how the character is coming home as a reminder of how everything has changed.

This chapter is so sad and you've captured the desolation so well. 10 out of 10 and I don't give that easily.

Author's Response: Thank you! This chapter was composed more carefully than a lot of others because I wanted to get all the emotion of the situation and have it read smoothly.

Yes, what's said is less important than what isn't. The healer wants to reassure them, and she would if she could, but she can't lie. So she avoids questions she doesn't want to answer and looks for reassuring explanations to pretty hopeless situations.

Most cerebrumous spattergroit patients would suffer effects similar to what you said - forgetting schoolwork or odd bits of their childhoods or whatever. Rose is a serious case. The forgetting to breathe thing is actually due to the confusion, which lasts during the disease, when the brain is fighting against the disease and because it'd got this internal battle going on it sometimes gets preoccupied and can't manage to keep communicating with the body - things like telling the lungs to expand and contract. That's very temporary, not lasting beyond the duration of the actual infection. Forgetting how to walk and talk is a combination of muscle weakness - after months of disuse, she's lost a lot of strength, and she's gotten used to not talking - and having forgotten some of those deeply-ingrained habits such as the muscle motions to balance and walk.

Nope, I like to do things properly.

Yeah, I figured out that side of Hermione's character writing "A Normal Boy". She's used to being in control, and she NEEDS to know. If she knew the exact situation, and knew what she could do about it to help, she'd be fine - upset, but still in control.

I've told you already how much I love your reaction to this chapter. It felt pretty special to me and it's lovely to know it wasn't just me!

No I didn't cackle at you talking about Rose not speaking Irish. I cackle at the thought of your reactions, rather than just taking pleasure from torturing characters. I wouldn't cackle at what I'm doing to Rose, only about how I expect you to react to stuff I know you won't approve of! I'm not ENTIRELY evil.

Came close to bringing tears to your eyes. I'm pretty pleased with that, though of course I'll have to try for more than that later in the series.. ;) "Mummy's here" is one of the most effective lines in this chapter, I think. Hermione's trying to help, trying to look after and protect Rose and while really there's nothing much she can do and she's feeling scared and helpless she's trying to reassure Rose anyway.

It's heartbreaking that Hugo is the one taking charge, but it's also a big step for him to realise that he's not helpless, and for him to take responsibility and not only be independent but look after other people. The one bit of good that comes out of the whole affair.

Ron's a bit less sensitive than Hermione. And while obviously he's upset and worried, he doesn't let it affect him in the same way she does. He's got more blind faith that someone - Hermione, or a healer - will sort it out, and that it'll work out, and he can't really imagine this being long-lasting. And he escapes a bit - he distracts himself by thinking of other things, and by making himself busy with work or TV or anything that saves him from having to think too hard. And he expects other people to deal with it, and to tell him what to do if he's needed. While Hermione needs to help, doesn't have the same faith she'll be called on if she's needed, and is driven mad by uncertainty. That's another thing - Ron will believe the "hopefully"s of the Healers, while Hermione reads between the lines and sees their hesitations and body language. I feel sorry for Rose, but I feel worse for Hermione.

Thank you so much! *huggles you*

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Review #11, by MargaretLane Lo, How a Rose

17th November 2014:
*cheers for Harry trying to move on* But it's sad both that he feels he's not as good a parent as his were and that it's taken him this long before he feels he can begin to. Poor guy.

And I can see why Godric's Hollow would be more upsetting than Hogwarts. Yes, he has sad memories associated with Hogwarts - the Battle of Hogwarts, Dumbledore's death, Cedric's death, possibly even Sirius's, as he was at Hogwarts when that situation started even if Sirius didn't die there - but he also has happy memories associated with it - making friends for the first time, being free of the Dursleys, meeting Remus and Sirius, Voldemort's defeat. Whereas Godric's Hollow holds only sad memories.

*laughs at the idea Hugo's parents can't embarrass him by showing his friends baby photos*

Love the comment about how Rose isn't blooming but rather wilting. She'd better be OK. *glares at you warningly*

10 chapters IS long when you're only ten. *cheers madly for Hugo*

*sympathises with him about the story* He's actually being a lot more reasonable than I would probably have been at his age. Interrupting my writing does not leave me happy.

Some of this sounds like the House Elf code in my series and the same issue is arising about house elves being unlikely to report mistreatment.

The similarity with guide dogs is kinda creepy though. As is the idea of selling human-typed creatures.

The education thing is SO typically Hermione and probably further than the code in my story has gone. I haven't drawn it up. Knowing you, you probably have drawn up this one. But it involves things like not being allowed physically punish house elves and house elves being able to report mistreatment and stuff like that.

Actually, the way your characters are talking remind me a little of the Land War and the 3 Fs.

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Review #12, by AlexFan A Haunted House

16th November 2014:
I'm so glad that Hugo finally got a chance to really play a harp. He sounds like a really talented kid, I can see him having a future as a musician, if he kept practicing of course he could be just as good as any pianist or harpist.

I honestly just can't get over Hugo and Lily being unaware of the significance of Godric's Hollow and I'm just sitting here thinking "oh if they only knew."

You would think that by the way that Ginny and Hermione are talking about Godric's Hollow that it's already been decided that Harry and Ginny are going to move into the house. Harry doesn't even want to set foot in the place I honestly can't see him budging on something like this no matter what Ginny does. This looks like it might cause some real problems for them.

Anyway, great chapter!

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Review #13, by AlexFan Empires Old and New

15th November 2014:
I take really long to leave reviews if you haven't noticed. Anyway! I think this was definitely one of my favourite chapters to be honest with you, politics aren't always my thing but when they're talked about or discussed right they really catch my attention. As you've probably figured out you did it right. It was interesting seeing all of these different views and opinions coming into play throughout the chapter from various experts. Clearly to Hermione the winner of the IC is a much bigger issue for her because the Second Wizarding War affected her in a much more personal way than others.

And it's when you hear about stuff like this happening that it really hits you that people don't really learn anything from history except how to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

I've always read stories where the next generation are already aware of the large role that their parents played in the war so it was quite surprising having Hugo be completely clueless as to what his parents did in their youth.

Loved this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! It doesn't bother me how long you take to leave reviews. :) My time period between receiving and responding varies considerably, as I'm pretty busy right now but I'm hoping to get up to date over Christmas.

Thank you so much! This chapter was a bit self-indulgent to be honest, inspired by the European elections taking place about when I wrote it (the rise of UKIP didn't prompt riots, though). I'm very glad I got you to like my bit of politics!

I thought briefly about "how much should they know?" and it did occur to me that in most next-gens the kids know all about the war, but I decided to be a bit different (as usual). I think the other kids might be a bit less clueless than Hugo, having seen newspaper headlines and books and stuff, but I decided Ron and Hermione have avoided talking about it - they're famous, for their role in the war, but they've never seen a need to talk about all the things they saw and went through because there's the question of "when is old enough?", they don't want to think about it, and it's in the past. It might also not have specifically occurred to them to sit down and tell their children about the war, because of course most people do know what happens and it doesn't really occur to them that their children don't and should.

Oops, response longer than the review again. I have this habit of talking...

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked this chapter. :) I definitely have a soft spot for wizarding politics.

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Review #14, by MargaretLane Easter

9th November 2014:
Sounds like Rose is ill. It occurred to me before that she could suffer long-term damage. I've a feeling ONE character will. I'm not sure you'd bring up the whole thing if nobody relevant was going to (although it MIGHT just be to mess with us; you enjoy doing that), but I don't think you'll have more than one person do so, because it'd get a bit repetitive if two or more next gen. characters were suffering memory difficulties. And Rose seemed kind of likely, due to her significance as Hugo's sister. And because so far she's avoided serious damage.

But NO! *pulls Rose to me and protects her* She doesn't deserve that. It'd probably be worse for her than for most people since she is so academically inclined and already feels insecure about things like her ability to make friends and deserves to have SOME area in which she succeeds. And Hermione DEFINITELY doesn't deserve it. One disabled child is enough to worry about. And it sounds like she's had some difficulty dealing with it.

*laughs* I pulled my sister out of class for a couple of minutes when I got my Junior Cert. results. Secondary school kids get a half day the day of the Junior Cert. results (and in our school, the students getting results get the whole day off), but she was still in primary and I thought she wouldn't like being the last to know (she hated being done out of things for being younger) and I also thought she'd like getting called out of class, even if only for a matter of minutes.

*laughs at Hugo not accepting his mum's suggestions too easily because then she'll think she can do what she likes* Not an easy child is our Hugo.

Poor Hermione. She must be so stressed. *comforts her*

AND ROSE HAD BETTER BE OK. *prods you warningly*

You've written "'hi,' grunt back." Did you mean to put an "I" in there.

Oh, Hugo has my sympathy here. Having a temper isn't exactly fun.

And yeah, it must be annoying when everybody just assumes, "oh, he's stressed because he's blind." After all, he's been blind all his life and lots of people have tempers - I certainly do. I've learnt to more or less control it now, but I was quite a few years older than Hugo before I learnt to do so and I still thumped the printer, slammed my bedroom door and punched the wardrobe yesterday, when the printer was driving me crazy. *laughs*

I think being able to copy like that, without reading the notes is more impressive. *cheers for Hugo*

And I know what Hugo means. It's so annoying when people are being annoyingly nice, because you can't be sarcastic back to them and you have to act grateful, which encourages them to repeat what they are doing.

*cheers for Mr. Greg* I like him.

But uh oh, the comment about how Rose will probably be OK like Kelly was makes me think she won't be.

I wonder if Al or James or Louis or any of the others have got sick. It sounds like they haven't or I expect you'd have mentioned it.

Your characters seem to have a similar birth order to mine.

*cracks up at the comment that Percy DEFINITELY talks about boring things*

And yeah, I would imagine Luna's conversations would be interesting.

*cheers for Hugo protecting the little kids from talk of torture and war, even though he's only about 10 himself*

*laughs at Roxie claiming to have known*

And now I'm wondering if Victoire might end up with problems, as she's been mentioned as having a "serious case." I'd prefer if it were her than Rose if somebody had to have complications. Mostly because I don't know your version of Victoire well. I've become fond of mine actually.

Author's Response: I've told you several times already that I LOVE your reaction to Rose being ill. Well of course she doesn't deserve that, and Hermione definitely doesn't, but since when has justice governed what I do in my stories? Oh, Hermione's had a lot of trouble dealing with Hugo's disability - even if that's not clear here, it should be in "A Normal Boy"!

Yeah, being pulled out of class breaks things up a bit, makes the day a tiny bit more exciting.

Oh no, Hugo would hate to be considered "an easy child"!

And yeah, I think Hermione needs someone to comfort her!

*prods you back* What are you gonna do if she's not? (Probably about the same as I'd do if Blackburn wasn't OK)

OK thumping the printer - it deserved it. Slamming the bedroom door? I'm kind of between "how old are you?" and "yeah it's kind of satisfying" (yep definitely done that more than once in the past year, although it's even more frustrating when it doesn't actually slam properly). Punching the wardrobe - doesn't that hurt? Yeah, Hugo's got a bit of a temper, but I know at that age especially I was at least as bad as him. At that age, it shouldn't be surprising him losing his temper like that, especially not when he's stressed already (his response to stress is either being really moody or really miserable.)

Yeah, really nice people are annoying. And Mr Greg is awesome.

I love Roxie, and the Scamander twins. They were so much fun to write (and they make awkward conversations easier by providing interruptions). Will have to get them in more in the future.

You'd rather Victoire had complications than Rose. Surprise surprise!

KNEW your reaction to this chapter would be good. Not disappointed. :D

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Review #15, by MargaretLane A Desert Island

8th November 2014:
This really is apropos of nothing, but since we were talking about the different terms used for things in Britain and Ireland, we say "mid-term" over here rather than "half-term". Reading that sentence, I was thinking something sounded rather British about it and had to read it again to check what. I think it's because we'd say "after the mid-term break," not just "after mid-term" or "after half term."

You still have said how Kelly is and she sort of avoided the subject. *watches you suspiciously*

Art must be hard for them when they can't see what they are making/drawing.

Hmm, I thought Hugo's story was going to end like "Come up the Stairs," but it veered off into rather more dramatic territory.

And has he seen the Storyworld cards I got, because somebody marooned on a desert island is one of the things you get as a thing to write about.

And poor Rose being stuck at school and unable to even write to her family. Poor Albus too. I wonder if either of them will get spattergroit.

Hannah as Matron/school nurse. THAT is perfect. And it means she and Neville can be together. In my series, he goes home to his family at weekends. It sounds like something she'd be good at too.

And YES! Whenever I've let people read my stories, I tend to leave the room while they are doing so. Otherwise it's just too freaky.

Oh, I was wondering why you brought in the spattergroit thing. I assumed it was just that you wanted Rose, and maybe Al, to remain at Hogwarts for some reason, but now I'm reckoning you're going to cause long-term confusion for some character. THAT sounds like you.

Love the mention of "my prayers are with the students." Sounds like a good Irish way to express concern and end the interview on a sympathetic note.

Poor Mrs. Scott. *sympathises with her*

I wonder if Hugo will actually end up going to Hogwarts. I've a feeling he WILL, but it's beginning to sound like he mightn't.

I think this is my favourite chapter of Rainfall so far. It's awesome. Because of course, possibly giving teenagers long-term memory loss makes a story more interesting.

Author's Response: Well, Kelly's out of hospital and back in school. OBVIOUSLY she doesn't want to talk about her illness - in her situation, would you want to think about it? She's been given the all clear, as evidenced by the fact she's back in school. Oh, teasing you WAS fun! And I'm not that predictable after all. ;)

Yes, drawing isn't really something they go in for because it means nothing for them. That's why they just make messes with clay and glue and feathers and card and whatever else they get given! It's not a lesson so much as a chance to enjoy and express themselves.

Hugo's got a dramatic streak. And being marooned on a desert island isn't a particularly original plotline, so it's not particularly surprising that it would be on one of your Storyworld cards! No, he hasn't SEEN them. Think about it! :P

Hannah being Matron is actually canon - I think in one of the Quidditch World Cup Pottermore articles. And it really does fit.

Yeah, I'll send people links to my stories but not actually watch them read. I've shown my sister my stories and it's pretty freaky, because you start trying to judge their body language and waiting for them to say something.

Yes, I went through that interview several times trying to get that guy to sound as Irish as possible, and "my prayers are with the students" seemed to fit perfectly.

Ah yes, well I like torturing characters and being mean to teachers is fun! What, you don't like me tormenting teachers? :o

Glad you like it - thank you! :D Laughed out loud at the last sentence.

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Review #16, by MargaretLane Forms of Courage

5th November 2014:
The 5th of November is probably an appropriate day for the chapter about Nobby's funeral to go up.

And I'm now remembering seeing the police presence being prepared for ye're Queen's visit to Ireland. It wasn't intimidating or anything, but it was certainly on a level I haven't seen before.

And that's interesting, that Hugo reacts differently to everybody else, because he can't see the Auror presence. Makes sense, but I wouldn't have thought of it. I think you have to think very differently when writing from the point of view of a blind character.

Scorpius in Hufflepuff. Interesting.

Hmm, Draco really does seem to have changed. I know it's hard to tell from a short conversation, but he does sound genuine. And I've the feeling he wanted to talk about Scorpius and Rose. Maybe it was just to make conversation, but it sort of sounds to me like he's concerned about Scorpius. Knowing you, you've probably given the kid an inferiority complex (which wouldn't be too surprising considering his background) or depression or something.

I like the fact that Hermione isn't convinced by his change though. I've read some stories where Draco apologises, sometimes very self-servingly, like only apologising when he wants Harry to confirm he was forced into working for the Death Eaters and immediately everybody forgives him, possibly apart from one person, usually Ron, who everybody then acts as if they're being totally unreasonable and childish, keeping up a schoolyard grudge, as if he just teased them a bit and didn't actually nearly kill Ron, in an attempt to murder Dumbledore. I think after that, and the torture Hermione underwent in his home (even if the latter wasn't his fault) it makes sense for them to have some resentment towards him. Not that they couldn't get over it, but it's likely to take some work on his part.

*laughs* The whole part about people turning up to be seen reminds me of this poem about Casement's "funeral", by...Richard Murphy, I think, where he accuses the Government of "exploiting" it to raise their own profiles. I don't think that was fair, to be honest. Many of them had been personal friends, or at least colleagues of Casement, and were probably completely genuine.

LOVE Kingsley's speech. And he has a point. During the era of Deathly Hallows, a lot of people had very little to lose. Yeah, opposing Voldemort could get you killed, but people were being tortured and imprisoned at random anyway. If you were a Muggleborn, you really had little to lose by opposing them or if they considered you a blood traitor or somebody else they were likely to target anyway. Whereas Nobby didn't HAVE to put himself in the firing line. And now I'm reminded of the beginning of A.W.L. when a certain person comments that she really doesn't have much choice other than to try and fight them, whereas everybody else does.

*laughs at the comment about always being punctual* Perhaps it's because I live in a country where punctuality doesn't happen, but it seems out of place, such a minor thing among his impressive qualities.

And I'm now reminded of what I told you about the rumours about Dev and his secretary, solely because they spent a lot of time together, as Nobby and Rachel did and were fond of each other.

*laughs at Hugo planning a story about a nice werewolf* He should have them teaching at Hogwarts. After all, he knows Remus did. *grins*

They are probably right not to bother following it up. While it's offensive language, it's still a fairly minor incident, in the sense of the actual crime committed. It's only the intent behind it that makes it more serious. And no point in giving them further publicity.

He could be a famous writer or harpist. And I can totally see why he'd want to be known for himself rather than as the son of Ron and Hermione.

It reminds me a little of events in The Writing on the Wall. Not that it's surprising it would happen after what happened on the 5th of November all those years ago. But just the whole red paint and the fact it's only graffiti, but has a more chilling side.

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Review #17, by AlexFan Live in Concert

30th October 2014:
It was so nice to see Hugo in an environment where he was enjoying himself. I loved listening to how he got lost in the music and the kind of effect that it had on him. He seems like a completely different person when he's surrounded by music, it's awesome.

Hugo stops being so bitter and angry with the world around him and it's nice to see that in him. I feel like Hugo wants to be angry more than anything but whenever music is playing he forgets to be angry. It's amazing what music can do to a person, isn't it?

I liked getting an overview of what Hugo's life at school is like, having students around with guide dogs and having to announce themselves so the rest of the students know who they are. I like Hugo's school and I can tell he likes it as well, this is the place where he's surrounded by people like him and they understand what he's going through.

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Review #18, by MargaretLane Of National Importance

28th October 2014:
AHH, you've been scaring me about this chapter and the title does NOTHING to reassure me. *goes to read*

*laughs at Hugo pointing out he DOESN'T know what the sun looks like* And with the rain today, I sympathise wholeheartedly with them.

And yeah, Ginny, that stuff about praying for rain is REALLY likely! Over here, at least, I think we complain MORE about the rain in the summer, because in the winter, rain can at least mean it's a bit milder, and besides you don't expect good weather, whereas in summer, we kinda feel we should see the sun occasionally.

And ooh, now I can't wait for your reaction to something in my year four.

*laughs at Hermione ignoring the Quidditch* That is so like her. And it's so like Ron to leave the room when the news comes on.

LOVE Teddy and Susan reading the news. I'm trying to get a variety of jobs in to my story, rather than just having all my characters becoming Aurors, Healers, teachers, Quidditch players or working in the better known departments of the Ministry, although some of my characters will have some of those jobs. And I like seeing a variety of jobs in other stories too. Especially, I like seeing characters like Teddy, James and Albus having careers other than the obvious ones. I would NEVER have thought of Teddy being a news reader, but I like it.

Oh, one thing I noticed: you've written in the oath, "and to will serve the witches and wizards".

An ex-Taoiseach died recently actually. I probably mentioned it to you at the time.

And the mention of wanting to give him an award after he died, reminded me of the Roger Casement thing, although in this case, I agree Nobby's wishes should be respected. Casement was given a State funeral nearly 50 years after his death, when his body was returned to Ireland.

I'm not in agreement with Hermione here. For one thing, any national leader dying is a big thing. And I think he was significant, not so much for what he DID as what he WAS. He showed a Muggleborn and a civil rights activist COULD become Minister, even if it ended badly.

It's weird reading Hermione and Ginny's comments about journalism today, as just this morning, I was listening to this English journalist - John Pilger? - talking about how all media is biased and we have to be aware of the agendas behind it and stuff.

I wonder if Hermione is thinking of the fiasco that was the aftermath of the World Cup in Goblet of Fire.

I always admire people who can go through things like that without bitterness - Dev, Erskine Childers, Mandela.

And aw, it's so sad the way what happened dented Nobby's confidence. I know you'll say I've no right to talk about knocking characters' confidence, but STILL.

I don't think this is the right place for me to go on my rant about killing people at random to make a point, but suffice it to say, I can see Nobby's point. Although I'm not convinced killing people for something they can't be helped, like what parents they were born to, is much better.

Aw poor Lucy. She seems to be the equivalent of my Molly II.

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Review #19, by Anonymous Christmas Cheer

24th October 2014:
poor hugo, it is so hard to explain to other people why you prefer playing the harp instead of doing other things, especially to a sibling that doesn't understand that playing music just makes you calm and happy…I hope that Rose and Hugo can work it out and Rose comes to enjoy the music

Author's Response: Yeah, my siblings think of practising instruments as a chore rather than something to be done in free time. Rose and Hugo don't have the best relationship - they don't quite understand each other, as is shown in the way Rose always tries to help Hugo when he wants to be independent and the way he's happiest doing his own thing while she kind of needs to be loved. As to whether they work it out... well, there are some big plot twists coming up!

Thank you for all the reviews! It's a lovely start to my day. I hope you stick with the story and like what's coming up! :)

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Review #20, by anonymous A Birthday Present

24th October 2014:
"It sounds so pretty, even when the notes are wrong"
you captured this perfectly, it is one of the many things I love so much about the harp.
Oh Hugo got really lucky, I had to beg my parents for more than 5 years until they finally gave in and bought me a harp, they really are expensive and it is so complicated to organize transport for concerts or orchestra rehearsals..but no complaints, I never wanted to learn any other instrument and I can understand Hugo for wanting to learn playing the harp :-)

Author's Response: There are some advantages to being blind, it seems, at least in Hugo's case - his parents know from his piano playing that he takes his music seriously, and they really want to do everything they can to make him happy. Oh, transport must be a pain! They at least have magic to help. ;)

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Review #21, by anonymous A Haunted House

24th October 2014:
More harp! this makes me so happy! you described it pretty well, do you play the harp?
there was a welsh harpist and composer by the name John Parry, he lived in the 18th century and I think he became harpist at the royal court or something like that. Anyway, he was born blind but his pieces are very virtuos, I would know,tok me ages to play it fast enough and without mistakes...

Author's Response: No, I don't play the harp - never had a chance, I'm afraid. I'm a violinist - been playing since I was about 4. I'm working from recordings and from experience of playing with harps in orchestras. That's interesting about Parry. I did discover than in Ireland, playing the harp was considered a suitable occupation for blind boys.

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Review #22, by anonymous Live in Concert

24th October 2014:
I love that you mentioned the harp! I have been playing the harp for more than a decade and I played the Romeo and Juliet overture and it is so nice to read about how someone in the audience feels while listening because it is not easy to play. I haven´t read much of your story yet, but I kind of love the story already just for mentioning the harp parts.

Author's Response: First of all, can I say what a lovely surprise this was to wake up to! You play the harp? I wish I could! I've played violin parts in the Romeo and Juliet overture - it is a bit of a pig, isn't it? I love it, and I listened to it whilst writing this chapter. Thank you, I'm really glad you like it!

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Review #23, by AlexFan Past and Future

23rd October 2014:
It's taken me a while to leave this review but I'm finally here. I thought I would just get the CC out of the way first. Personally, I felt like Ginny was a bit out of character. I can see where she's coming from about wanting to rebuild Harry's childhood home, and she had good arguments as well but I feel like if Harry wasn't comfortable with that idea that she would understand and at least consider the possibility of not rebuilding the home. Clearly Harry feels like if they were to fix up the place it would be like trying to erase traces of his parents from his life and obviously he doesn't want that. And I personally found it weird that in all of the time that Harry and Ginny have been together he not once took her to see Godric's Hollow. I mean, this is his wife here, and Godric's Hollow is an important part of Harry's past, I would've thought that he would've taken Ginny to see the place where it all started. But then again, this is just me so feel free to ignore this.

Moving on, Hugo is such a pessimistic child and honestly I can see why, when you look at things from his perspective, the Wizarding world really doesn't have much to offer him. The muggle world is in fact more suited for Hugo and Hogwarts would be extremely difficult for him to navigate, especially the stairs, those would be a nightmare. But he seems really aware for a child is I guess the best way to put it, I like how he thinks about his actions and questions why he does some of the things that he did. When he lashed out, I like how he acknowledged that he really had no reason to act the way that he did and asked himself why he was so angry. I feel like Hugo wants someone to reprimand him, had he not been blind and lashed out like he did, he would've gotten punished for his behaviour and the fact that he got away with it is like another reminder to him that he can't see.

I'm really growing to like Hugo and I love reading about this story from his perspective.

Author's Response: I definitely get where you're coming from regarding Ginny! Getting the characterisations in that bit was a pain and I kind of knew it wasn't right for her but I got lazy and didn't wrestle with it. Now you've confirmed that that bit's a mess, I'll try and make myself actually do something about it! Harry not taking Ginny to see Godric's Hollow - yeah, I get what you mean there as well, but my explanation would be that he moved on too completely and never felt even that he could bring the idea up because that might have meant talking about the past and actually thinking about it. And yeah, he'd have been comfortable with his wife, he just didn't want to think about it himself. But yeah, Ginny, and Harry too to a lesser extent, are characters I haven't really managed to get a grip on and I do need to have another think about them and do some editing. :P

Thank you! Hugo is a character I DO feel I understand now, and yeah, he hates thinking that he's being treated differently. Normal kids might be resentful at being punished for bad behaviour, but the way he gets more slack means he feels guilty about it and also of course is reminded of WHY those allowances are made for him.

Really glad you like it! Thanks for the review, and I'll try to do something with that CC!

~ Leo

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Review #24, by MargaretLane Beginnings and Ends

22nd October 2014:
*cheers for Hermione getting somewhere during the meeting* And yes, using a racial slur at a war hero might NOT go down well.

My immediate thought for the "lovely gentleman who insulted" her is Lucius Malfoy. It just sounds like him.

*cheers for Hugo getting a distinction*

*laughs at Hugo wanting to go because it's a day out of the classroom*

*cheers for them having displays in Braille*

And you haven't mentioned Kelly at all yet this chapter. I guess there hasn't been much change yet, but *is concerned* Poor Kelly. She's missing the trip too.

I actually laughed out loud at how they are less likely to get in trouble than a bunch of kids from an ordinary school would be, as people'd feel mean spoiling blind kids' fun.

And just after that, the teacher DOES mention Kelly. It mostly sounds like she's doing OK, but that part about the lymph nodes is worrying. I can't help feeling this is going to turn out to be more serious than anybody expects. *glares at you*

OK, I've already expressed my surprise at the fact he's never had the opportunity to be really creative in school.

*tuts at the idea of people being concerned about children writing about dragons killing people*

I can see why she'd be worried about the Statute, but I don't think there's any great need. Nobody'd believe this stuff was true. Although he might be better off not detailing things like the types of dragons as that seems kinda specific for a ten year old to come up with.

Setting the world on fire? OK, that's rather a dramatic ending. I guess the dragons could do it though. And I like the connection with the Slytherin Conspiracy.

I am laughing at the thought of Ron as a teacher.

And Dumbledore did say to Tom Riddle that he wouldn't be made attend Hogwarts if he didn't want to, didn't he? And Hagrid spoke about if Harry wanted to go. And Remus didn't expect he'd even be able to go to Hogwarts. So I guess Hugo COULD remain in the Muggle world. It'd be hard for him though, as he wouldn't have the advantages of being able to do magic. But then the wizarding world doesn't give him the advantages of supports for the blind. Either way, he's going to miss out on something.

Hmm, sounds like not many of your next gen are in Gryffindor. I placed most of mine there, since Albus feeling insecure about not being a Gryffindor plays a big part in The Writing on the Wall and the more Weasleys that are in that house, the more left out he'd feel by not being.

I'm still debating where to place Hugo. I can actually see your Hugo being a Ravenclaw. Ron wouldn't be pleased to have neither of his kids in Gryffindor.

Yeah, pretty unlikely any of the Muggleborns in his year would just happen to have attended the same primary school as him.

*hugs Emma* *hugs Hugo too* I really like the character of Emma. She's pretty determined for a ten year old. But then, when we were asked in 3rd class about what we'd wish for if we'd three wishes, my first thought was that I'd be able to get a teaching job when I grew up. I may not have been aware of the exact unemployment rates, but I was certainly familiar with the idea that leaving Ireland to get work was pretty commonplace. Anyway, I like Emma.

And I LOVE how positive Hugo is in the last paragraph.

Which I expect means you're going to ruin everything for him again in the next chapter. *glares at you*

Author's Response: *snuggles review* Maths can wait - I have a response to write!

I'm not convinced Lucius would still be working for the Ministry, even if he did escape Azkaban. And I think he MIGHT have more sense than to use a racial slur at a war hero in public.

Writing this chapter, I had in my head the Science Museum in London, which it's very realistic that a primary school - even a special one, like Hugo's - would visit, as I imagine them being not all that far from London, maybe Hugo living kind of on the outskirts of the suburbs and the school being a few miles out in the country (to get away from the dangers of the city). Or at least in a town relatively near London, reducing apparation distances for visiting the Ministry and the Potters etc. And, getting to the point (at last), the Science Museum is definitely "accessible", with things like Braille displays and wheelchair access and interactive multi-sensory models. Rather well suited to Hugo and co.

Haha, Hugo's class are sweet but really not the best behaved. Which their teachers probably like, because the kids are good at heart just high-spirited and happy despite their situations.

Yep, a nice positive note to the chapter... then I bring the mood right back down. Now of course what you COULD do is do a little research into Melanoma to find out how the disease/treatment are likely to develop and how much danger Kelly's actually in - this is researched and fact-based. Though you doing that research might spoil my fun...

Hugo can be a dramatic kid. Well, a kid with a "that escalated quickly" kind of imagination. Yeah, logical escalation of the situation leads to the entire world catching fire... I think someone got overexcited...

I think Hugo could be very happy in the muggle world - there's far better support for the blind, and he has better prospects there because of all the "equal opportunities" stuff. And magic is of limited use to him, because it is so visual - most of the time, he'd need help to know where he was aiming his wand.

Yeah, I came up with characterisations for my next gens and they all seemed to fit elsewhere. James is the only one currently in Gryffindor (Teddy was, but that's not mentioned in the story yet). And yet Hugo still feels Gryffindor's the place to be.

Hugo - Ravenclaw. It may or may not be right (I do actually know now). I will be interested to seeing whether you stick with that guess or change as the story progresses! Yeah, Ron wouldn't be delighted at that!

You like Emma? *cackles evilly*

You reckon next chapter's going to be evil? You'll just have to wait and see... ;)

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Review #25, by CambAngst King's Cross

22nd October 2014:
Hi, there! I saw your request for hugs today. Unfortunately, I don't know how to send those across the ocean. But I can do reviews, though. So I hope this is almost as good as a hug.

I really liked the way you wrote your opening chapter. You grounded the story in time just by way of a few details about Rose and Al leaving for school and being sorted. You didn't dump a whole load of back story on the reader, sticking to a few key points that are obviously very important to the story. I have a good sense of the people who are important in Hugo's life, but there's plenty left to discover as the story plays out. To me, that's really good pacing.

Hugo read completely natural and believable. He was age-appropriate and the uneven sort of way that he reacts to the various situations caused by his blindness -- from being very accepting in some cases to sort of immature in others -- felt perfectly natural for a 9-year-old boy. He's obviously made a lot of progress in life, but he's still struggling to figure certain things out. It obviously doesn't help that he's dealing with some challenging life issues. His older sister just left for school, so now he's effectively alone a lot of the time. Hermione seems to work an awful lot, which sounds about right for her.

Lily was like a ray of sunshine in this chapter. She's so attentive and thoughtful and it seems like she just gets Hugo. She understands what's helpful to him and she knows when to back off. I'm excited to see how their relationship develops.

All in all, this was a great start. I hope to get a chance to read more.

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