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Reading Reviews for …tincelles d'Argent
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Silver Sparks

16th April 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here with your winnings from my Not So Evil Villain Challenge!

This was a wonderful fic. I've seen a lot of different stories dealing with Sirius' time in Azkaban, but I would have to say that this is one of the better ones. You really delved into his thoughts, fears, and interactions. It was very well done!

I love how you characterized both Sirius and Fudge. I thought the way they interacted was spot on. You touched on lots of little details that a lesser writer might've overlooked. You really were spot on with this.

The quality of you writing in this is superb. Your descriptions really build a complete picture of everything. I can imagine exactly what Sirius looks like, how Azkaban feels, and so much more. To me this is always the sign of a good writer and is possibly my favorite part of reading. I'm really a sucker for good description.

On top of that, I thought you did an amazing job of incorporating the prompts without making it read like a challenge story. It was very smooth. The comparison to Daunte's version of Hell really fit with what we know of Azkaban.

Spectacular work! This was really a joy to read...well, not necessarily a joy because it's super heavy, but I mean that I enjoyed the way you've written it.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey!

Firstly, thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed this. I was really worried about whether the characterisation of Fudge was right - Sirius is actually surprisingly easy to write, but Fudge was trickier.

The Dante thing was completely a spur of the moment thing and to be honest, I'm just happy it was pulled off!

This was the first time in a long time that I wrote in third person so I wasn't sure whether I overdid the descriptions. It's reassuring to know I didn't.

Dirigible_Plums xo


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Review #2, by Allison Argent Silver Sparks

14th April 2015:
Hi.

I'm Allison Argent. You may know from the TV series Teen Wolf. I'm here because I was told that one of the guys in this story is actually friends with a werewolf, and well... so am I. So I really hoped we could talk to each other and share knowledge and advice.

My friend from the forums loves this... Sirius. She says he is her favourite character, and she was actually the one that recommended I'd come see how he dealt with having a werewolf for a friend - so I could possibly find an easier way to be around Scott on full moons, because he is still scared that he'll hurt me, even though I've told him many times that I trust him and know that he won't do that.

But I wanted to know what kind of guy this Sirius was beforehand. You know, whether I would need by bow and arrows or not. And I was a little doubtful when I heard he had been in prison, but I can see now that he was wrongfully imprisoned. And I therefore wish to approach him, but I'm not sure where to get him. Could you help me with that?

I would also like to say that the description here was good. I could almost see Sirius in front of me in the prison cell with the spark in his eye, holding the news paper and realising that he still had a chance at getting his revenge. I'm not all for revenge myself, but I do believe in fighting for/protecting those I care for, and I would gladly give my life to ensure that. That is why I think I will trust this Sirius, because he seems to me to be like that too, but I would of course like to here your opinion. Do you think he could help me out?

I can't stay around for much longer. I promised Scott I would meet him, and I'm already 30 minutes late. Lydia and Stiles were supposed to meet us too, but they have been running off on their own a lot lately. Lydia says it's some kind of secret mission, but I don't know. I think maybe they are secretly seeing each other. I know Stiles like her, but it's only lately that I've seen some signs that could point to her liking him as well. Hmm... if you see those two around, would you let me know? Well, actually you would have to let my friend over at the forums know, as I am very busy right now. She can overbring the message to me, but I think she uses a different name over there. So you may have to look a little to find her. She told me that I was suppose to give you this little clue "the name is the key". Not sure if that gives you anything, but I have faith you will find her regardless.

Sincerely

Allison Argent

Author's Response: Oh my God, Allison, I feel so honoured that you have reviewed my work. Seriously, you should never have died. You were perfect.

Sort of like Sirius, really. I mean, the fact that he escaped to commit the murder he was imprisoned for, but you can't really blame him considering the circumstances.

Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked the description. It means a lot :)

Dirigible_Plums xo

(P.S: Stydia all the way.)


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Review #3, by The Basilisk Silver Sparks

4th March 2015:
Your disclaimer made me hiss a giggle. If a basilisk were to giggle that isss.

Itsss interesting that you use the imagery of a video camera at the beginning to describe such a horrifically magical place. Why did you choose this way?

Siriusss, poor poor Siriusss. What have the wizardsss done to you? Such power, such beauty you possesss. Your portrayal of him createsss such heartbreaking images in my basilisk mind. Those dementorsss vile loathsome creatures. We Snakesss should guard them!

I generally type reviewsss as I read, but your story captivated me, drew me in. I stopped absorbed by the wordsss. The charactersss seemed quite well, not OOC like you seemed worried about. Itsss an excellent scene of a moment we as readers don't get to see.

Fantastic, thank you for sssharing thisss.

Author's Response: Oh my God. I have heard a lot about you. I feel so honoured to log in to this *blush*

To be honest, the imagery of a video camera just came to me. I figured it was a good way to introduce Azkaban - you know, begin with a snapshot of the place that strikes fear into people's hearts with just a mention of it and then develop into the plot. I think it worked out?

Sirius' story is incredibly heart-breaking - ANYTHING to do with the Marauders is heart-breaking, really. I can't bear to think of what he went through.

I'm really happy that you enjoyed reading and didn't want to tear your hair out because of the dialogue tags (don't worry, I'm going to fix that soon). Thank you for reading this :)

Dirigible_Plums xo

P.S. I don't know why the students give you so much hate. Basilisks are so misunderstood - it's not your fault that you were born with the ability to kill someone with just one glance.


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Review #4, by marauderfan Silver Sparks

3rd January 2015:
Hi! Here for our review swap :) Before I get to the actual story, thou disclaimer hath made me LOL.

Ok. First of all - WOW! Your descriptions, especially in the first half, are amazing. It's so vivid and I can picture it so clearly in all its desolation and misery. Especially with the storm overhead raining despair on everyone. And I love the way you paraphrased that line from Dante's Inferno to really help portray Azkaban as hell.

I love that Fudge's Patronus is a stoat, that's so perfect for him. You wrote Fudge really well - so incompetent and crooked, it was perfect :p

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What are you going to do? I'm already in Azkaban." -- haha, best line and SO Sirius.

The way you showed Sirius' memories and the way he's affected by the Dementor was really well done too, how it's kind of this stream of consciousness. Especially how he has all these wonderful memories of his youth with his friends, and then a Dementor shows up and makes his worst memories show up instead - and although it's never mentioned that the Dementor shows up, it's evident what's happening and I think it was done really well. The emotions expressed throughout this piece were really strong.

Great job on this story! Thanks so much for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello :) When you mentioned the disclaimer, I kind of panicked and rushed to the chapter to see what idiocy I threw up onto the page. Honestly I'm so lucky that it comes across as amusing. I actually don't know what I do sometimes.

Thank you for the all too kind compliments about the description. I took a lot of time on emphasising the bleakness of Azkaban. It's feared so much in the books that I couldn't resist myself. It would've been blasphemy really. The line from Dante's Inferno was included on a whim that thankfully paid off - thank you for noticing it ;)

Writing Fudge honestly terrified me because I didn't know whether I was overdoing his incompetence or not. No one has cursed me for his portrayal yet so I'm guessing it went well.

Once again, thank you for all the compliments and I enjoyed doing a swap with you :)

Dirigible_Plums xo


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Review #5, by luvinpadfoot Silver Sparks

2nd August 2014:
With a username like mine, how could I not love this story? It was absolutely wonderful to read! I love the way you captured emotion, especially the absolute desolation of Azkaban.

Your imagery was lovely and so powerful. Especially at the beginning when you were describing Azkaban and Sirius and what he was experiencing. Your word choice was flawless. I especially loved the line: "Finally, the heavens simply split in two and angry tears cascaded on top of Azkaban prison." That's an amazing way to describe a storm. It paints a picture of sadness and despair without being too overt.

The first time Sirius is introduced with the paragraph long description is amazing. Just wow. Every bit of imagery in that paragraph was wonderful and fit Sirius completely. I especially loved the last line about moistening his lips, but only making it worse. That really sums up so much about him in one simple action. You conveyed his sanity well throughout the piece while showing how he was affected by the prison as well. I think towards the end you get into this even more, the true madness of revenge. He holds no fantasy of returning to a normal life at this point. He just wants to kill Peter.

Fudge is definitely in character here. You've written him so well, captured his essence. He's always putting on airs and pretending to be stronger than he is, like when he was first introduced. He doesn't want to be there, but he doesn't want anyone else to know he doesn't want to be there. The man has to be in control. The way you structured the newspaper scene with it being a political ploy on Fudge's part was brilliant. There was so much Fudge in that.

Usually third omniscient POVs bother me because it can feel jumpy or too convenient, but I really liked it here. The shifts between Fudge and Sirius flowed naturally and I never felt like a ping pong ball. The narrative entered and exited thoughts as need be and the transitions were smooth. I hardly noticed that it was omniscient at all (which I mean as a compliment).

I loved the onslaught of memories. They were disjointed and incoherent and you could really feel the madness creeping in on him, like that's the kind of suffering he's underwent over the past twelve years. As a reader, I could feel my head beginning to spin and just the barest traces of what he might actually be going through as the Dementor's fed on his memories. That bit was nothing short of incredible.

The only bit of constructive criticism was that the first half seemed stronger than the second half. The beginning had so much imagery and beautiful language and you painted vibrant pictures, but then later it fell away from that a bit and we got more of a stream of conscious from Sirius's perspective. I don't think I'd have noticed that at all except that the beginning was so incredible that when the style shifted slightly it fell a little short.

You had kind of a hard first line in that it was a little cliche, but I thought you used it well. I'd be surprised if there were many nights at Azkaban that weren't dark and stormy. I also loved the quote from Dante, "abandon all hope ye who enter here." That's perfect for Azkaban and the comparison between Azkaban and Hell here were very strong.

This was a lovely story and I really enjoyed reading it! Thanks so much for entering my challenge. :)

Author's Response: First of all, thank you for the wonderful review. And now I'm terrified because I feel as if my reply won't be nearly as adequate as it should be. (Does that even make sense? I'm not sure it does but oh well. It happens.)

In terms of the imagery and description, I did worry that I went a little bit overboard. Paragraph after paragraph was description and I'm sure it must've looked a little bit daunting but I'm glad you liked it and it achieved the intended effect. I'm quite pleased that you liked how I described the storm. When I originally thought of it, it was part of a sarcastic one-liner but I thought it was better suited to this.

Ah, Sirius. Now that I think about it, the lip-licking thing does pretty much sum him up. He knows it's bad for him but he goes ahead and does it anyway. Poor, poor Sirius. He's way too impulsive for his own good.

I was extremely concerned over how I portrayed Fudge. I knew the basic foundations of his character but I didn't know how to get it across in the way he interacted with Sirius and those around him. I don't think anyone quite understands the relief I feel that no one has annihilated his portrayal yet.

Omniscient third person usually bothers me a lot too. Well, it doesn't bother me per se but I'm always a little bit wary of it. I'm much more comfortable in first person narration and I've only recently gone back to testing third person narration but I find that my work is almost better with it. It's easier to write dramatic scenes in third person opposed to first person because you can write about things your main character wouldn't notice.

The memories...this was the section that gave me the most trouble. I had a clear direction I wanted to go in with the memories but unfortunately due to some technicalities, I had to rewrite some of them. However I kept it as similar as I could to the original draft so I'm happy with it. I really wanted the reader to realise the pain that Sirius went through and the sudden rush of the memories seemed to be the best way to do that. Show not tell and all that jazz, you know?

Now that you mention it, I see what you mean about the change. The first half was a lot stronger than the second part. I think I got swept away in the rush of Sirius' madness that I forgot to keep the same description coming along. It's something I need to work on, maintaining that balance throughout the entire piece. Thank you for pointing that out. Without it, I wouldn't have anything to work on and there should always be something to work on.

The comparison between Azkaban and Hell came quite suddenly. I spent a lot of time on the beginning of the one-shot because I wanted to do the beginning line justice. As everyone knows, the opening lines can make or break your writing as can the opening paragraphs. At first I didn't think that the comparison between Azkaban and Hell would develop into much more than one line but then I research Dante's Inferno a bit and was pleased to see that I could develop it into much more.

I really did enjoy writing this and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. As soon as I saw the first line, I knew I wouldn't write any other scene except this. It was just a matter of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and breathing it to life.


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Review #6, by MrsCanisMajor Silver Sparks

26th July 2014:
This is absolutely amazing. Just a small part of the story, a tiny part, something I've never really thought about and you've turned it into this strong piece.
I like how Sirius is portrayed and the use similies really propounds the feelings and atmosphere. I liked the inclusion of canon information to tie it all together. Love it love it love it!!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you. I was actually a bit iffy about this but it's great to know that people like it.

Dirigible_Plums xox


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Review #7, by Chazzie Silver Sparks

18th July 2014:
Hello there!
That was really amazing. You made me feel so sorry for Sirius - and yet you also made me laugh aloud. The way that he is trapped in a place of cold and despair but he still manages to stay strong? That is impressive. And he is still funny, albeit gallows humour. 'What are you going to do? I'm already in Azkaban.' was probably my favourite part. On the other hand we have Fudge, who is an idiot. I don't have a clue how he became minister for magic. Anyway, your descriptions are fantastic, and really add so much to the story. As such, the words created a really vivid picture in my head. Thank you very much for posting it!
Lottie

Author's Response: Aw, thank you for the kind review. These things make my day :) And yes, Sirius shall always stay sassy and fabulous. As for Fudge, he is quite idiotic, isn't he?

Thanks for stopping by x

-Dirigible_Plums


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