Reading Reviews for There's Water In Oil
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GingeredTea There's Water In Oil

30th September 2014:
You manage to make Snape sound well...Snape-like with the first paragraph. Having written Snape myself, that's a big compliment.

Okay, so my first brutal critic (I love getting freereign). You do this great job with Snape describing Peter (foolishness, nervousness fidgety energy) and while I don't think Snape would have said 'fidgety energy' and would have illustrated the sentiment with a harsher word, my real issue is with the word 'mad'. Snape is such a 'mad' person that I think he would have some really cutting/dry/sarcastic expressions for this feeling.

Loved this sentence: Her sister, Bellatrix, was in tow, as hostile and superior as ever.

BUT, am I wrong in thinking the comma after Bellatrix is expendable?

I think you do an excellent job capturing Snape's perspective on life - what interests him and what he dismisses easily.

"Severus navigated Bellatrix’s many accusations with the grace of a Quidditch star." This line seemed worth mentioning because I thought it was quite brilliant. As a child/teen, Severus Snape watched and loathed James Potter and Sirius Black - both Quidditch stars. He lost the love of his life to James. It would seem natural he would have some analogies in his head in which he compared himself to be equal to a Quidditch star. :)

You do an excellent job of distilling Snape's natural relationship with the Death Eaters and his awkward one with the Order, into two paragraphs - bravo!

Oh man, I really loved the next couple paragraphs - there is water in oil. It wasn't silky or beautifully flowing, but Severus Snape is neither of these, and I think you have managed to capture some of that awkwardness, even on the inside.

"Dumbledore would now have no argument against appointing Severus to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post in the fall."

THIS MADE ME LAUGH! :D

Loved this small trip into Severus Snape's mind! Great job! :)

By the way, you might end up liking my Severus Snape - he reminds me of yours a bit. :)

Author's Response: AH! This review is so amazing and helpful--thank you so much!

You are definitely right about those word choices, and that is indeed a great opportunity for some /dry/ Snape! Thank you for pointing it out!

You know, I think both the comma and the name Bellatrix are expendable. I mean, we all know who she is.

I am soOoOoOo relieved you liked the Quidditch Star line. I worried people might see it as OOC, but since we're in his head, I really wanted something very personal, private, and embarrassing for him to bleed through.

And oh man, Snape's relationship with the Order vs the Death Eaters is SUCH a tricky and interesting one. I'm really glad you liked that interpretation, because I rather fretted over getting it right without derailing the whole thing.

YEE, I like my Snapes petty, broken, proud, pathetic, wrathful, lonely, focused, tragic, misguided, and redeemed--so glad you are of a similar mind!

YAY! Thank you for swap!!!


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Review #2, by teh tarik There's Water In Oil

3rd August 2014:
AHA! I caught your story while skimming the Recently Added again, and yay! Because I really must read more of your wonderful work!

I love love stories about Hogwarts Era Snape, or where Snape is a teacher. He's honestly more interesting to read about as a bitter, snarky, resentful teacher rather than a lovelorn teenager in the Marauder Era. I adored the whole opening segment and his exchanges with Dumbledore over the years. Baha! It's quite icnredible how well you've grasped his character, along with his relationship to Dumbledore! I can totally imagine the two of them having this conversation year after year. And awww, it's so moving that Dumbledore actually wants to protect his best agent (maybe for further use...after all, Dumbledore is quite the manipulative old man :P ) from the curse of the DADA position.

The scene with Narcissa and Bella was a lot darker, and provided some lovely contrast with the opening. Also, wow! You delved even deeper into Severus's character, showed how he is among the Death Eaters whom he despises, and how he's actually capable of compassion, which of course, sets him apart from them.

You know, I've always wondered if Severus really cared about the Malfoys at all. Maybe he liked Draco, because Draco is Harry's enemy and Severus is petty like that sometimes, but I've always wondered if he actually cared about the Malfoy family. After all, they're all Death Eaters. But here, his agreement to help Narcissa protect Draco MADE SO MUCH SENSE OHMYGOD. Sorry for shouting; I can get carried away like that.

OF COURSE he's helping her of course of course! He's using the situation to get what he wants; he's out-manipulating Dumbledore so he can get the latter to give him the job. He's using the effects of the DADA curse and the terms of the Unbreakable Vow to somehow work against each other to give him what he really, really wants!

Severus is remarkably cunning. All of the SLytherin characteristics here! And well done to you for writing him in such a brilliant way. Honestly, this is such a short piece, and everything about his characterisation is exceptional, original, and brilliantly insightful. You've given a very complex character even more depth, and this whole fic is pretty much a missing moment for me. Missing moment because I finally understand why he got that post in the end.

This is amazing! Like all your writing, Roisin!

YOU ARE FABULOUS. NEVER STOP WRITING. ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Ah thank you so much for reviewing!

AND OMG YOU RECOMMENDED MY THING ON THE FORUMS! I found out because I'm currently tryna recommend stuff (you/shez/cambangst/justonemorefic)--and AH! It's really intensely flattering--I'm a HUGE fan of your writing!

As for this story: I was in rather a Snapey mood (I have another one-shot in the queue that could be read as a sequel to this, or a stand-alone). He's one of my very favorite Potter characters, just from a literary perspective. This story was very much inspired by the space between HBP and DH--that year we all spent trying to figure out what what he did, and why. His interiority, motivations, and feelings are so complicated. And yes, I absolutely see the allure of writing him as a teenager, but I feel he's more interesting as a resentful, snarky, bitter adult. I'm SO glad you liked my interpretation--it's what I felt HAD TO HAVE happened. (While looking up page numbers for citation purposes, I found that I'd annotated my copy of HBP. *facepalm*)

Just, AH, such a potent character. And so I'm really glad that you liked how I teased apart the Malfoy relationship (one I also find infinitely complex for the same reasons).

And, just: Snape didn't know about Dumbledore's injury and inevitable death when he made the Vow. I CAN'T imagine he was like, "ho hum, guess I gotta kill Dumbledore, bummer." Therefore, I have to assume it started (and ultimately, did end) as a suicide mission. :(

And YES, Slytherins are just interesting! They don't /have/ to be evil--proper cunning is fascinating.

Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging review! I dunno if it's weird to say in a review response, but I really hope you write original fiction! I make an effort to READ, and SO many authors do well who have less than a tenth the talent you have! ("Fortress: an anatomy" could, with limited editing, transform into a short story about a WWII concentration camp--its basis in the first place. Even without the D-dore/G-wald showdown, it would function.)

In closing: AGIT:JGVFIYSEJGSELITC>MB@!
-Roisin


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