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Reading Reviews for Moving On
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaLestrange87 Moving On

3rd October 2015:
Hi there, it's me! (And while I'm reviewing this, I'll add it for BvB while I'm at it.)

You describe Cho and Cedric together really well. They sound like typical teenagers: nervous, blushing, attracted to each other but also shy.

I feel really sad for Cho. You describe her happiness really well, and I can really tell how much she loved being with Cedric and how good he was to her. Her sadness and grief at finding out he was dead was also written really well, as well as her anticipation at whether Harry or Cedric would win.

I'm happy that Cho managed to move on, and I hope that her Muggle husband is good to her and a nice man.

I'm sorry this review is very short, as my reviews are usually longer than this. I really enjoyed this, though!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hey there Olivia!
Thank you so much for leaving this review, and apologies for taking so long to respond. I'm really glad that you found my characterizations of Cho and Cedric realistic and believable. Trust me, I spent a lot of time trying to get it right.
I hope it wasn't too sad! Thanks though for the comments on Cho's emotions!

It's okay that your review was short, so was my response! Thanks for taking the time to review.
~Panda


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Review #2, by Beeezie Moving On

23rd July 2015:
Hey, I'm here for BvB!

I'm always interested to read about people's interpretation of Cho's reaction to Cedric's death. I tend to think that she was pretty by it, in part because the relationship was so short. She didn't have time to really get to know his annoying characteristics as well as the good ones that drew her to him in the first place.

The way you describe how Cho felt about Cedric during their relationship and in the immediate aftermath of his death was perfect. I feel like you captured Cho's state of mind as we saw it in the books - but more than that, I felt like you were very true to her age. Her anxiety about how much Cedric loved her, the way she jumped to their being in love in the first place when they'd been together for about a month - worked. It was completely believable, and the strength of her feelings about him and her faith in him were both realistic and utterly heartbreaking.

My only issue with the fic was that I felt like it was either too long or too short. If you'd ended it after the stinksap, I think it would have worked as is, but since it did continue, I wanted the rest of it to be fleshed out more. I wanted to see more about she felt about Harry, the process of moving on, and her life as she reaches middle age. It felt odd for the first part to be so much longer than the second part, and I'd have like to see you either expand on it or cut it out. (I know that the quote is at the end, but I'm looking at the story in general, not necessarily in the context of that challenge.)

Overall, though, I thought that this was a really great take on Cho's frame of mind and feelings for Cedric. Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi Beezie!
Thank you so much for this review!

I'm glad that you found Cho's reaction realistic. That was one of the points that I worried about while writing this fic. I spent a lot of time tweaking scenes trying to make it work right. I'm glad you think that time paid off!

Thank you also for that critique. I see what you are saying about the ending being short compared to the beginning. I've been considering re-reading my fics, and changing some things based on reviews, and I will certainly take this comment into consideration.

Thanks again!
~Panda


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Review #3, by Dancer Moving On

5th April 2015:
My dear, what a fabulous story. I am in shock that I haven't read it before. Well, I guess that is to be expected. This is my first day on the site.

I only found out about it because my siblings were bickering over the voice-activated-typing-thingamabob that Santa is developing. They mentioned this site, and I simply had to check it out. They are always doing things without me. So I had to wait until they'd all gone to dinner to use this. Hopefully it'll work okay.

Your story was so sad! It had a really soft tone to it, and I loved your description of this Cho. She believes in love at first sight too - how similar we are! Although I have not yet met my love. Her worries about this Yule Ball were very justifiable but I'm glad she had a lovely time. Your descriptions were amazing, and so realistic. I think you did an excellent job.

Oh no, that's them back! Got to go,

Dancer

Author's Response: Awww thank you Dancer for this sweet review! You always were my favorite.
I hope that everything goes well with your siblings and Santa!


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Review #4, by Veritaserum27 Moving On

3rd September 2014:
Hi Panda!

I'm here for the BvB review battle. I didn't realize you had posted another story. What a treat!

I think you did the quote justice with this heartwarming tale of Cho's journey with Cedric - and self discovery. Clearly Cho would have to deal with a lot to overcome the death of her boyfriend and I think you explored this beautifully. You set up their story as a warm and sweet teenage love and then did a fantastic job describing Cho's emotions during the third task. I was on the edge of my seat, wanting to get through the crowd of people too!

I also liked how you explained why Cho sought Harry the next year at school. She really wanted answers to Cedric's death - not really looking for a relationship, as Cedric was her first love.

Nice job with giving us a little glimpse into Cho's future - she seems content, but still has a part of Cedric with her.

Nice job!

Beth

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I rarely get reviews so when I do it's a real treat. I feel like you really caught the essence of what I was trying to portray and I love that!
Thanks so much,
~Panda


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Review #5, by TheButterflyComposer Moving On

3rd September 2014:
I was just thinking as I read that last bit how much it was like the ending to Peter Pan...
I thought this was interesting, particularly because you made the confident , flirty girl from canon into an insecure person on the inside, which seems quite human and realistic.
I think it might have been cool to do the whole story in the style you did in Part 2, going over her as she ages and showing how she deals with her life as she matures.
Overall though, the spelling was fine and the chapter itself was good, den if the ending was a bit brief, but then again, that might have been in the challenge...
Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for this review! I've been getting lots of comments about the ending and I'm defiantly going to tweak it a bit once RL clears up.
Thanks for your feedback!
~Panda


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Review #6, by Infinityx Moving On

13th July 2014:
Hi Panda! Here for the BvB battle!

I got completely drawn into this story the minute I read the summary. Your writing style is extremely clear and easy to read, and there aren't any mistakes that stand out so it flowed really well too. I love how the story begins, in that fairy tale manner and then goes on to trace events that shaped Cho's love life.

I love how there was this melancholic undertone to the story throughout but it ended on a cute, positive note, with a sad edge to it. That consistency of emotion makes the story more effective.

I like how you've characterized Cho as well. There's a clear transition in her thoughts as she grows up. When she's with Cedric, it's about her feelings for him and the common things that people who fall in love think about. After his death, there's that shift in mentality, and a purpose that drives her.

The plot felt a bit rushed from when you started explaining the events following the second task. Till then, you concentrated a lot more on Cho's emotions and after that, there was more emphasis on what happened, rather than her emotions themselves. (I'm not sure if that's clear)
Maybe you could linger a bit more on the final few parts to make them a bit more powerful.

I love the Stinksap part. Especially the line she realized this would be harder than it looked.

There are a couple of places where the tenses seem to be mixed up slightly, which you'd probably find yourself with a quick read through. :)

I really enjoyed this. It was a lovely story, showing a progressive development of a character who isn't usually focused on much. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the review. Great job! :)

~Erin

Author's Response: Thank you for this sweet review. I'm a bit busy at the moment but if I have time to edit this story I will keep your critiques in mind. Thank you so much!
~Panda


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Review #7, by randomwriter Moving On

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review: Educational Decree Number Five

Hello! This was certainly a really nice one-shot to read. Even though it focused on themes that were quite sad, the story itself wasn't depressing. I like how it ends on a positive note, showing us how she still harboured affection for Cedric, but had found love with another. It shows us that we can overcome even the hardest of things life throws at us! As for the part where you told us about how she fell in love with Cedric, how she grieved after him and how she moved on, I think you've got her emotions and reactions spot on. I like how you've written about all the important stages, in terms of love for her, without dragging this out too much.

As for your writing, I love how it flows. I like how there aren't any errors that struck out. It's easy to read and follow and it doesn't pull you down! Thank you for sharing this lovely story with us :)

Author's Response: OH MY MERLIN THIS WAS THE SWEETEST REVIEW EVER! I really loved reading this. I wasn't very sure about the story when I posted it and this was the first review I read for it. This made my day!
Thank you,
~Panda


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Review #8, by nott theodore Moving On

9th July 2014:
Hello there! I'm here reviewing stories for the house cup which contain a reference to the upsetting events of last year!

I loved the way that you wrote Cho's character here! I think that you captured her personality very well and took what we know from canon to develop her character. I also thought that it was great that you showed the relationship between Cho and Cedric from when it first began, around the time of the Yule Ball, and then took it right to the end of the relationship and then all of the effects that the death of Cedric had on Cho. I liked the fact that you included the fact they'd only been going out for about seven months - but still, I think that Cho would have been deeply affected by his death and it's great you weren't afraid to show that, but you also chose not to dwell entirely on that. It wasn't completely sad because there was the happiness from the beginning of their relationship and the fact she was able to move on without forgetting Cedric completely. Great job!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review Educational Decree #5

Author's Response: Thank you for this lovely review! :) I wasn't really sure about this story when I posted it, but this review made me feel like it turned out well after all.
Thank you so much!
~Panda


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Review #9, by zealousVisionary Moving On

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

That was a very interesting story. Cho/Cedric is a pairing I always seem to forget about, but this story potrayed Cho in particular very well, and I enjoyed it a lot.

I think the best part of this story was the way the emotions were conveyed. I could really feel and connect to Cho's pain and grief over Cedric.

I did feel like the ending was a bit abrupt for my taste. I think it would have been nice if this story were a bit longer, so we could see Cho moving on before fifty. That said, the quote you used worked very well with the story, and I enjoyed that aspect of the fic a lot.

Overall, nice story- great job on this one!

Author's Response: Thank you for this review. I to agree that it could be longer but I felt that that was a good place to stop at. I also agree that the ending is a little abrupt but I couldn't find a better way to end it.
Thank you again for your kind words and helpful critiques.
~Panda


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Review #10, by Unicorn_Charm Moving On

7th July 2014:
Hiya!

Wow. Just wow. What an amazing job you've done here. You really captured her love for Cedric and her complete anguish with losing him. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose your first love at such an young age. I don't think you would ever truly get over it. Even though she did look back on it with smiles, they were wet smiles. So that leads me to believe that, even though she may have moved on, she never really got fully over it.

You captured the emotional aspect of this situation so well. It was so very sad. You did a fantastic job with this. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little.

The Peter and Wendy quote was perfectly worked into your story. Excellent job on this!

House Cup 2014 Review

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Thank you for this super dooper sweet review. I'm glad that you liked it and even teared up a little. That makes me feel good about the story.
Thanks,
~Panda


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Review #11, by TidalDragon Moving On

6th July 2014:
Howdy!

The first thing I noticed about your story was that it was written in a different style than most of what is seen of the archives. At least here, you were very summative and retrospective, walking us through memories and feelings more so than placing us within them. I'll confess that this took a bit of getting used to early on. I think one of the things that made that style tough for me was that for such an emotion-driven topic, the retrospective approach creates extra distance. Perhaps that's the point, given that Cho has moved on, but it made it a bit difficult to identify with her thoughts and feelings at first.

I thought the strongest part of the story was probably the portion where Cho is waiting for the third task to finish. It felt the most real to me and you did some interesting things with the pace and cadence of your sentences - for example shortening things and establishing a staccato rhythm at one point - that I thought served you well.

The end felt a bit abrupt for me. Perhaps it needs to be, again since she's moved on, but even with a retrospective approach, I think it would have been nice to get a little more of what happened before that final scene that allowed her to move on before it was announced that she had. Just a thought.

Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thank you for this review. I will take your critiques into mind, some other people have said similar things, and I might change some things later on. Thank you.
~Panda


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Review #12, by Aphoride Moving On

5th July 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for the Blue v Bronze battle! :)

When I saw this was Cho/Cedric and no one had come by, I thought it was about time someone did, and since I have a soft spot for Cho/Cedric, I thought I should, so here I am! ;)

I love how you've followed them through their, well, story, I guess, from the beginning where they got together, to the end after he had been killed and the war was over and she'd moved on. I liked as well how you portrayed her as moving on but not forgetting him, something I think people often forget and don't really include, you know? But you balanced it so well - she remembered him, and she still cared about him, but she loved other people too, and I liked that as a nice touch and the mention of her muggle husband at the end :) Her grief was wonderfully shown, as was them falling in love and how real you made it seem - it didn't happen all at once, and it was sort of a stereotypical 'young love' scenario, but I liked the depth you gave to it, and it suited them!

The way you wrote Cho was brilliant, too! I'v always felt sorry for her because so many people don't like her because she cried a lot in book 5, but I like how you explored what Cedric meant to her and so how his death affected her, once he was gone. And I liked the little mention of Harry, kinda alluding to why she went out with him and tried to talk about Cedric. It's maybe a bit selfish, but it's because she doesn't know what else to do. She was a wonderfully sympathetic character in this, which was so great to see! :)

Cedric is just adorable in everything, 'nuff said, but yours was so sweet - the way he blushed when he asked her out, the way she was so excited and nervous and how they got on so well... it was lovely! :)

Your writing in this is great - really, really great. It flowed so well, particularly with the different sections, and your descriptions were brilliant (though a few more here and there wouldn't hurt anything ;D). I'm amazed, as well, at your ability to convey so much in a short piece - it's really incredible! - and it was just, in total, a great read!

I'm so glad I read this and I can't believe this is going to be the first review! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph!,
Thank you for leaving this lovely first review. I am really glad you liked the story, it means a lot to me coming from you. I don't think I can put into words how sweet and kind this review was. Thank you it truly means a lot.
~Panda


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