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Reading Reviews for One, Two, Three, Open
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Basilisk One, Two, Three, Open

14th October 2015:
Hello, It is I, The Basilisk, once again, come here to petrify you with a review.

So, I really enjoyed reading this. Your take on Draco's point of view in the events leading up to the Astronomy Tower Battle were very good. I hadn't realised this was going to be AU until almost the last segment, when Draco fights with the death eaters and runs to warn Dumbledore and reachesss the office.

The internal struggle Draco went through was portrayed well and I could kinda see where hisss decision came from. Your dessscriptions were very good, especially in terms of visualising the scenesss. I was completely into the narrative while reading.

The concept was very good itself, to take on the canon eventsss and give them your own spin. The way you wrote the action of the scenesss was superb too. Oh, and I really liked how Draco saw the book and went down the memory lane, putting the pieces together.

All in all, it was a very well-written piece and I am glad I slithered out of my Chamber to read it! Great job =)

Hiss Hiss,
The Basilisk

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Review #2, by ravenclaw_princess One, Two, Three, Open

11th December 2014:
Hello, here for your BvB review

I really enjoyed this. It was quite an interesting take on what Draco experienced during that time. I've always seen this part of Draco's life as a pivotal point where he realise exactly what being a Death Eater is all about, and I think he realises its not actually what he wants. But now so deep into it, its either do as instructed or die.

I like how in the end, he was trying to protect Dumbledore, I guess that's because I want to believe that Draco wasn't a bad person, he was just caught up in a very very bad crowd. You touched on his deposition, but sometimes I did find myself wanting just a little more insight into his troubled mind and conflicting emotions, ie, why he sympathised with Remus. Also, in the last part, I wanted to know a little bit more about what was going through his head as he was turning the tables on the death eaters.

I loved the mention of the Advanced potion book and the memories it evoked. I didn't make a connection the first time it was mention, only when Draco picked it up did I realise whose book it was. There were also lovely descriptions about the trip in the vanishing cabinet, Draco's antics and borgin and burkes and his memories.

Well done on this story. It was really fun to read and you've taken the bits we know from the book and filled in the the missing details really well.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I found it very hard to write; I fought this (and my muse) for about a week or so. It was also a challenge entry (as the summary says) so I was trying to finish it as quickly as possible. If I hadn't felt rushed by the deadline I definitely would've explored Draco's feelings more in-depth than I did.

I think that Draco wasn't a bad person, he was just raised by Lucius to be a Death Eater, and Narcissa, being a Black, didn't exactly show him any other options. Having probably spent his entire life being told pureblood propaganda, he wouldn't know anything else. That's why I like fics where post-war Draco has changed.

Including the Advanced Potion-Making book was a random idea, as was the vanishing cabinet. I thought that since Harry hid the book in the Room of Hidden Things, Draco might have found it when he was trying to work in there.

~Olivia


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Review #3, by Infinityx One, Two, Three, Open

6th July 2014:
Hello!

This was a really interesting read! I don't think I've come across anything before that focuses on the events before the final Battle, in Draco's PoV. You've done a great job here at recreating the events that lead up to the attack, and they fit into canon really well. I especially love the little details like the cabinet ride becoming smoother after the first time, and Draco finding the potions book.

You've got some nice imagery here, like when you describe the Death Eaters. You've done a good job and writing about each scene in the sequence, but I think it could be a bit better if you focused a bit more on Draco's feelings and thoughts. For instance, the part about Remus being the only other werewolf he met, and symapthizing with him was a nice touch! You could add some more things like that, that give the reader a peek into what's going on in Draco's mind.

So, his plan was to warn Dumbledore before the other's came? That wasn't very clear. The pace became a bit fast toward the end, making the actual happenings a little unclear, so I suggest you read through that once.

I think this was a great premise, and the first time I've read something like this. I really enjoyed it, great job!

~Erin

House Cup 2014, Event 5.

Author's Response: Hello! I thought when I wrote this that it would be uncovered by anyone else - I haven't found a lot of stories that focus on events before the Battle of the Astronomy Tower (but then again I like Marauders-era fics).

Thanks for the constructive criticism, and yes, Draco was going to warn Dumbledore.


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Review #4, by lumos_knox One, Two, Three, Open

4th July 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I think this story is fantastic. It could be perfect canon, that's how spot on it is. I think you depicted Draco's mixed emotions well. It was a hard time for him, and you really underlined that.

Your descriptions of the Death Eaters are really good, too. Fenrir's smile I imagine to be just disgusting. Bellatrix, well, it's true she probably killed a few people on the way there. It's her forte. I could see that in there.

Draco's doubts and him trying to get out of darkness is so sad. I loved how you had Draco try to stop what he was doing by going to Dumbledore's office. Double crossing the Death Eaters was a very interesting twist indeed and most likely what would have happened.

Draco's purchase of the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder was quite a suspenseful moment. I was afraid Fred might pull him up, or he'd get in trouble for being out of school.

In this story, you really get readers to bond with the main character. I found myself rooting for Draco and hoping everything he did would work out. When the apple went through the Vanishing Cabinet, I'm so glad it came through okay.

As for Draco going through the cabinet, I thought he was going to get stuck in limbo like Montague. The way you build up suspense by mentioning that is really clever.

I also like how you brought up Draco's discovery of the Advanced Potion Making book, and the memories it caused. Now, I feel really sorry for Draco when he got hit with Sectumsempra. His view of Hermione in these memories is really lovely. When Lucius tries to tell Draco he was beaten by a Muggleborn, I like how Draco didn't care. I also like the line-

Nobody beats Granger.

It sort of meant that Draco was excepting Hermione's intellectual skills.

Now for some CC. There isn't much, but- I missed when Draco actually used the powder. All I got was that it was suddenly dark.

Also, I'd put in a little extra description. Not of the things around Draco, you did that perfectly. More of Draco's emotions and actual people. I'd get a little more of Bellatrix's crazy actions.

Because these were difficult times for Draco, I'd put more of his internal struggles in. Maybe more of his doubts voiced.

All in all, a really good story that stuck well to canon and went into depth about Draco's struggle for light. Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Thank you! I love these really in-depth reviews that give you a lot of feedback for your next projects. This one was hard to write - it took about three days but I forced it out - and it was written for a challenge that I wanted to complete as soon as possible.

About your comment about adding more description, I'm trying to work on that. My writing tends to be really straightforward.



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