Reading Reviews for Seek and Chase
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by madness The Attack at the Ministry (Lily)

30th June 2015:
Loving it, as usual :)

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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 New Year's (Jacob)

11th June 2015:
Hi there, Olivia!

Ravenclaw - House Cup 2015 Review

WHAT?! How could you do this to me? I saw your A/N that updates would be coming sooner and I HOPE SO! I need to know if Lily and Jacob are okay! I knew something was going to happen. And what is going on with Jacob's house? Why didn't his parents just come clean with him about it? I don't think he wouldn't taken it too badly - other than the fact that his Mom was nearly a part of that attack. This story is getting so good and I'm just worried about what is going to happen next. Again - great job with the interaction between these two awesome characters. I was so excited that they finally kissed - and then you left us with that cliffhanger. Gah!

♥ Beth

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Review #3, by Tonks1247 Arithmancy (Jacob)

11th June 2015:
Back for another chapter! And I will admit, it took me re-reading the first couple of paragraphs before I realized the POV switched. I know it had Jacob’s name in the title, but I’m apparently unobservant today…

Anyways. This chapter was just as good as the last! I love that there is an opportunity to learn more about Jacob’s character by having chapters done in his POV! He doesn’t seem quite so fishy as he did in the previous chapter, although many of the same questions still exist….

His character is quite fascinating. I enjoy reading how he and Lily interact, and how he’s determined they are nothing more than friends because they haven’t known each other long. Also love how he tells Lily she’s done her equation wrong just as she tells him his is wrong. It’s an interesting dynamic and I like how Lily goes off about how she can be athletic and smart.

Their interest in Quidditch does give me a moment to feel ridiculous. Because the story is called Seek and Chase and ones a Seeker while the other is a Chaser and I’m feeling a bit slow. I caught on.

Anyways. On topic. This was another great chapter! Can’t wait to get in further and see how this whole thing develops! So far so good!

--Mikaela
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

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Review #4, by Veritaserum27 Christmas Cheer Should Be Near (Lily)

11th June 2015:
Hey there, Olivia!

Ravenclaw - House Cup 2015 Review

Aww, cute scene on the train! I want MORE Lily/Jacob (and I refuse to call them Lacob), but haha at your ship discussion last chapter :) Your story does a fantastic job moving this couple at a realistic pace. They aren't throwing themselves at each other in the second chapter and the way you've made both of them very deliberate in their interactions, convinces the reader that they both really care about each other. It just makes me want them to be together MORE!! Yay! The Potters live at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. I love it. And I really love the parallels between your story and OotP, where Harry and his crew used extendable ears to hear what was really going on as well. Lily is right - there is definitely more going on than the adults are letting on. I've gotta know more!

♥ Beth

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Review #5, by Veritaserum27 A Useless Feeling (Jacob)

11th June 2015:
Hi there Olivia!

Ravenclaw - House Cup 2015 Review here!

The Prefect's Bathroom scene was really sweet and cute. I thought you handled it well. Lily is not the kind of person who can openly discuss her feelings with others, but I really enjoy reading the dynamic you have between her and Jacob. He does an amazing job of picking up on her emotions, and simply "being there" for her. She seems to be able to calm herself down just by being near him. I think he wants to do a bit more than that, but, typical teenage boy, he's playing it safe for the time being. And hmmm... is this a bit of foreshadowing? I'm wondering if this crew is going to heed the warnings of their professors and stay away from an "active" role, or if they are gonna take matters into their own hands. I guess I'll have to read the next chapter to find out!

♥ Beth

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Review #6, by Veritaserum27 There at St Mungo's (Lily)

11th June 2015:
Hi there Olivia!

Ravenclaw House Cup 2015

I'm so excited I get to use the House Cup as an excuse to finish up this awesome story! What?! How did Jacob know something was going to happen? I really don't want to be suspicious of him, but I feel like Lily might be a little worried about it as well. I thought you did a good job of describing her feelings throughout this chapter. She was so, so worried for James (me too!) and then when she saw he was alright, but the damage might ruin his hopes of being a Quidditch referee - she knew she had to get out of there. I also liked that you made her panic a little when confronted by Alexandra. Good point - that Lily is a really young witch and not nearly as skilled as an adult. Also, as she pointed out, her life has been fairly well protected. Harry and his crew were sort of forced into learning to fight at a young age. But the next-gen kids don't have that sort of experience. I'm also worried that more is going on - and that maybe Jacob or his family haven't revealed the whole truth to anyone. How could Alexandra look like Jacob if she were adopted? That's a stumper. Off to the next chapter!

♥ Beth

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Review #7, by Tonks1247 Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

11th June 2015:
Hey!

I’ve been around the forums for a while (now that school doesn’t own me for a couple months…) and I have heard a lot of good things about this story. I figured why not give it a shot, with having reviews to write and such?

I really enjoyed this first chapter! I feel you did an excellent job at introducing Lily’s character and she is honestly a lot different than what I envisioned in my head. I think it’s great though, because the image you painted of her was definitely something I could see as well. You included a lot of little details—like that potion and her hair—that really helped develop her character and gave me a sense of knowing.

You also introduced her character in relation to others, which was great as well! Sagitta is definitely someone who I can understand entirely.

“After that, she followed me around for a week apologizing and I eventually got sick of it, so of course then we became friends.”

I laugh at the fact that something went wrong and then they became friends because Sagitta wouldn’t leave her alone. It may be related to the fact that my best friend of 12 years is someone who I was NOT fond of when we first met and she continually followed me and bothered me until we became friends and now here we are, still putting up with each other…

I am also quite interested in learning more about Jacob Walker. Weird that Sagitta talks like he’s been there for years with him when he was actually in Canada. Really want to know what’s going on with that whole situation there. Makes me wonder where that’ll lead and how Sagitta knows Jacob and overall what’s to come? Obviously something if Lily is dreaming about him….

There was one thing I noticed:

“Whenever I was surprised, like I just was, I tended to turn into this I watched as he easily hefted the trunk down the stairs.” I think this is two sentences that didn’t quite get separated? I think only a period is needed after this, but then again, I’m not sure. Something to look at.

This was a really interesting chapter and cannot wait to continue on and read some more!

--Mikaela
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

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Review #8, by Veritaserum27 A Sudden Shock (Jacob)

3rd June 2015:
Olivia!

Hello! I'm here for the BvB.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! I canNOT with this chapter. I'm just... I can't... I did NOT SEE THAT COMING!

Okay, okay... I'm calm - sort of. I can do this.

So the beginning was really intense and I was sorta confused as to where they were and how they got there and then I thought finally! He's gonna go through with this and then Alexandra showed up and Jacob was trying to fight and protect Lily and then it was a dream!!

And I really like how Lily and Jacob can pick up on each others' emotions. It shows a deeper understanding and a much closer relationship - even closer than they both realize. Lily picked up on this immediately and she eased his stress with her warm smile.

The talk with Declan was good. Jacob needed to have someone else point out the fact that he and Lily are obviously into each other. And I really like Declan's character. No crap - just lays it all out there.

And then we're back to the sweet awkwardness between them. And I'm SO, SO, SO happy you let him actually get to asking her out before you dropped that bomb on us.

No, no, NO! Not James. Ugh! I think this might really shake Lily up. Even though she is pretty tough, I'm worried that an attack on her family will affect her more deeply.

Awesome chapter!

♥ Beth

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Review #9, by Claire Evergreen Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

3rd May 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle.

For as much Next Gen as I've read, I can honestly say that I've only ever read maybe one or two other fics with Lily as a main character, so I'm really excited for this!

I never really thought about Lily much until I started writing a fic with her, but I really love your characterization of her. She comes across as a real person and not just a collection of similar traits. The crossover between Quidditch and academics with her is perfect. I know that the two aren't mutually exclusive, but they tend to be in fics, so to see Lily excel in both is wonderful. Her complete indifference to prefect duties is also really interesting, so I'm definitely interested in the reason she received the badge and not someone else.

Normally, I'm a stickler for canon, but I'm really excited to get to know the other Malfoy children that you've mentioned here. Sagitta sounds really interesting and from what we've seen, she compliments Lily really well. I really like Amanda as well, but that may just be because I'm partial to anyone related to Lee :P

Jacob definitely is the most interesting character here, though. I'm intrigued as to why Sagitta would say that he's been in classes with them for the past four years when he hasn't, as well as what is going to happen between him and Lily (because come on, we all know that it's going to happen at one point or another...she says hopefully). I can definitely relate to Lily here, but if he's as attractive and nice as he seems, I would not blame her one bit for hooking up with him.

This is absolutely fantastic! I'm definitely stopping by for more when I have time.

-Claire

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Review #10, by Veritaserum27 The Guessing Game (Lily)

2nd May 2015:
Hi Olivia!

I'm here for the BvB!

I love this story so much and I realized that I read this chapter, but never reviewed it! Oops - so sorry! I smile all the time when I'm reading this. I just love the voice you've given to Lily :)

Parvati Bones - LOVE it. You are a genius. With just one simple name, you've given me sooo much to think about! Did Parvati marry Susan? One of her siblings? And of course Parvati would find it infinitely interesting to write a story about Aurors - and of course she wouldn't feel the need to get her facts straight - heehee! I'm going to beg you to write Parvati's story now...

No - no - NO! I thought that at least one of them would've summoned up the courage to say they liked each other! Geez - let's get a move on, people!

Corvus Malfoy? I'm interested...

Really cute scene with the girl talk. You wrote it so well - just like the rest of this story. And yay! The girls know who she likes. Although I'm wondering if this could be trouble for Lily - she seems to trust them.

I'll be back for more.

Great chapter!

♥ Beth

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Review #11, by crestwood Arithmancy (Jacob)

20th March 2015:
Hi Olivia! Getting back to this story because I really enjoyed the first chapter.

Jacob's point of view is awesome in my opinion. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed his inner thoughts. Spending the summer sleeping does make the transition back kind of jarring. I actually can relate to starting school late--I never have class until eleven in the morning these days. That's a perk of college though, choosing your own course times. Can't imagine going back to early classes.

I love it when people actually have students doing schoolwork at Hogwarts. It's probably because I'm a nerd, but I rather like that you explained the assignment and had them do it, even more so because it's Arithmancy!! I am obsessed with the less mentioned courses at Hogwarts and want to know everything about them.

I'm with Jacob. Bank Teller is not a job that I would be satisfied with, even temporarily. It was clever to use this assignment as a plot device to get Jacob to realize Lily's love of Quidditch. I thought that Jacob would end up being the other prefect. The fact that he was new made me assume that just hadn't been sorted out yet. I'm excited that he and Lily will have a whole new reason to get close to one another now that they'll have duties together.

Hugo is in his dorm with him! I hope he shows up at some point. I'm slightly obsessed with Hugo, in all shapes and forms. Also, that fact that so many characters in this story seem to be gigantic nerds is amazing. There is practically nothing I enjoy more than an exceptionally nerdy story with exceptionally nerdy characters. I like that Jacob worries about things like falling down the stairs and embarrassing himself in front of first years. That makes him a little more relatable, to me at least. You've done a great job of bringing him to life in this chapter. I feel like I know him now that I've read this. I'm really excited to see where this story heads, going forward. I'll certainly be back! Thank you for the swap :)

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Review #12, by crestwood Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

5th March 2015:
Hi Olivia!

I just had to choose your Next-Gen story! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I've ever reviewed one of your stories before?? Although, this was on my reading list, so clearly I've been by before. Really glad I'm finally getting a chance to read it!

I know a lot of people hate OC Malfoy children, but I don't really see what the commotion is about. Also, I think I'm going to like Lily because she's not thrilled about Prefect duties and hopefully that means she's an apathetic type. She seems like a wonderfully strong personality so far.

I like the really direct narrative style. I'm digging that you set up so much background in this first chapter. I do like to be given some sort of foundation to work off of. (ie. knowing how people met and things like that) It might not make or break the plot, but there's nothing wrong with adding in a few details.

Sagitta and Lily have really great banter. They're very different from one another, but that can be a great foundation for a friendship if done correctly. I appreciate that Lily is kind of antisocial. I like to read about people who are a tad less charismatic occasionally between all of the Quidittch stars and playboys.

It almost feels mysterious that this guy would know Sagitta and apparently have gone to her school this entire time and she's never heard of him even once. And now he's saying that he didn't attend Hogwarts last year. Hm, either someone's lying, mistaken or there's something weird going on. And he's taking the same electives as her. It's almost like he's a spy or something?? Or a stalker? Everything about him is just strange. Although, he does seem nice. The circumstances around his appearance are just suspicious. I suppose I'll have to wait and see if I'm making this all up in my head.

I like the comments about first years getting smaller every year because people say that so often in real life! haha. I always like when people use canon surnames during the Next Gen. It helps to visualise OCs, even if they only get a quick mention, because we know who one of their parents are, at least. I think it's interesting that Lily isn't sure how she made prefect. Maybe a conspiracy??

McGonagall is literally making jokes for Lily's dad's generation hahaha. I wonder if some of the teachers went to Hogwarts with Harry.

I think it makes so much sense to have the first years go first and everyone else wait. That probably should have been the policy all along.

Now I'm more suspicious. The other prefects are all gone??

'He could be a Dark Wizard' I HOPE NOT! (that'd be a twist that I wouldn't expect :P) I don't think he's evil, but I still think something weird is going on. I really like it though because a mysterious subplot would be awesome. This was a really good first chapter and I think I'm going to like this story even if there is no mystery. Lily's voice is so strong and unique! I'll have to stop back sometime to continue :)

Thank you for the swap! Sorry for taking a while :P

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Review #13, by Veritaserum27 Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin (Jacob)

19th February 2015:
Yay! New chapter, new chapter, new chapter!

Hi there Olivia, here for the BvB!

I think you write Jacob's POV really well and I might've said it before, but there is definitely a distinct personality between Lily and Jacob. While they are both always guessing what the other is thinking, they do it in different ways. Jacob flat-out admits that he is clueless and he's not as good at hiding it as Lily is :)

The defense lessons seem to be getting a bit more serious and I really felt bad for Jacob, here. Of course Scorpius is better than he is, he's two years older and more experienced. I like that Jacob is honest with himself that he was simply spending too much time staring at Lily to focus on blocking the spells.

I also really liked Declan in this chapter. He's cool and collected. I think he sat between Lily and Jacob so that they wouldn't get distracted during the Quidditch game. I face palmed when Jacob asked Lily if she wanted him to come with her to the bathroom. Oh, Jacob! Don't you know Lily at ALL?! She's definitely never going to ask anyone to help her - certainly not to the bathroom! Then I laughed out loud at Declan's remark. "You could just say you had to go, too..."

I love how you put little details in here and there - especially about Lily's hair. Jacob is clearly enamored with it, but you don't outright say that, you show us with his thought about how it looks or what he feels when he sees it. Great job.

So glad to see you've updated! I can't wait to read more!

♥ Beth

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Review #14, by oldershouldknowbetter Arithmancy (Jacob)

7th February 2015:
Hello there, back for more BvB action.

So now we switch to Jacob and get to see things from his point of view for a while.

Your introduction to his personallity is good. We get the impression of a faily normal guy, smart yes but still adjusting to this new environment. At first it's what's new to him in terms of the academic side of things. Him being a seeker puts the whole title of the story into perspective. And if I remember correctly from last chapter isn't the Gryffindor team down one Seeker?

I like the detail you provide as to what Arithmancy is about (or at least a little portion of it). It makes sense and is similar to some of the 'number magic' I've seen outside the realms of Harry Potter fictions. He gets it wrong though, as Lily is conveniently close to hand to point out. He cannot work it out or to find the mistake that she so obviously finds. she's not perfect either as he finds a mistake in hers.

She reveals Quidditch as her profession of destiny and it rouses interest in Jacob. I find it very hard to believe that he didn't know that they played Quidditch at the school - he's been there for a month hasn't he? Apparently Lily finds it just as hard to believe, there were notices on the notice board for heaven's sake! And prefect too, but only just awarded.

He writes home, that's a dutiful son, but it's to get his broom posted to him, that's less dutiful.

He sees Lily again reading a gigantic book. She gets a bit pricklish and defensive about her love of books and has to defend her ability to love both books and sport. Me thinks she is a bit too defensive around him, considering what we know about her dreams from the last chapter.

Jacob reveals her feelings for Lily, so far they are only friendly ones. A nice friendship that has developed as it would between two students of the same House with similar proclivities. I don't know if Jacob wishes for anything more either - I think for the moment he is more focused upon the possibility that he soon might be playing Quidditch once more.

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Review #15, by oldershouldknowbetter Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

5th February 2015:
Hi there,

Here for a bit of BvB action as I cheated you out of a review because I wasn't quick enough in reviewing and getting the notification into the BvB thread.

So here is a bonus one.

I like your lily almost right from the start.

So you have other Malfoy siblings, I'm not as adverse to them as some other's might be. Yes we only meet one on the platform in the books, but that doesn't preclude more to come.

The tiny little pieces you drop here and there really illuminate everyone's characters well and with such an economy of phrase too.

Quote: [about Lily's prefect status] "... I had been stuck with. Mum had been overjoyed, and Albus had given me an enthusiastic high five, telling me that we could patrol together. Yeah right."

Each sentence speaks volumes about it's subject and we get a clear impression of Ginny, Albus and even Lily herself.

She is a Gryffindor and Malfoy is a Slytherin (so everything is right with the world :) ) and yet they are still the best of friends. I see you are going to go down that common route a lot of Next-Gen stories do of having the various Houses not so vindictive towards one another.

Oh how wonderful, there is a bit of Rose/Scorpius sneaking out from the background. I'm glad because, of course, I believe that Rose/Scorpius is the ONE TRUE PARING.

Lily is not only boyfriendless, but she imagines herself to be unattractive to the opposite sex: "No boy would ever take a second look at me". She takes an immediate liking to Jacob though, well at least his physical appearance. There is a bit of confusion in my mind about the differences between
Sagitta's comments and what Jacob has to say about himself. the confusion is apparent to Lily as well because she questions him on it too. He just brushes the query off with a glib response, but I think there might be more there - we shall see.

The changing of the rules about the trunks - does this imply something about the state of the Hogwarts domestic help situation, i.e. the House-elves? Again, we shall see.

Lilly doing her prefect duties is good and a nice bit of fun with her character. Yes she is helpful enough to the first years - pointing things out to them that she wished she'd been told. But she is singularly unhelpful when it comes to liaising with others and being an active part of the House hierarchy. Lily's prefect duties are going to be so much fun for her, I don't think.

We see Jacob again and Lily's initial attraction has dimmed somewhat due to actually conversing with and being around him. Or is it not that, is it even just her perverseness. I have a sinking feeling though that it may be her lack of self esteem - she doesn't think that she is attractive, so any boy she likes must necessarily not find her attractive so she preemptively dismisses him in her mind. That saying, she does have a strangely provocative dream ...

Lily likes to read and likes to read text books at that. She is anti-social and takes after her aunt Hermione. The Lily you are writing sounds a lot like the character of the Rose that I like to read about. I think I'll stay and read some more.

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Review #16, by horcruxxx Quidditch Tryouts (Jacob)

5th February 2015:
Hey, I'm here for the Blue vs Bronze Review Battle :)

I'm reviewing Chapter 4, because after reading Chapter 1, and Chapter 2, and Chapter 3 I wanted to read more and more :) Your story is really addicting!

I read some great stories with OC being one of the main characters, but you did an amazing job introducing Jacob. After reading 4 Chapters I feel like I know him very well and can easily relate to him. So great job!

I also like the plot line, it's very smooth, optimistic, it's just nice to read not to worrying about drama every other paragraph (for now of course, but I do intend to read further to find out what happens next).

The only CC I have is that sometimes it's hard for me to imagine where events take place. I like to picture everything when I'm reading and I just wish there was a little more description of the place a certain scene takes place :)

Monika

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Review #17, by Ravenclaw333 Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

4th February 2015:
Hiya! Here for the BvB!

This is a really good first chapter. You've done a good job setting the scene here - establishing Lily's character, her friendships, and the romantic tension with Jacob. Her voice is really clear and authentic, and you've set everything up to be reflective of the teenage experience. I like what you've done with Lily's character as well - she stands out immediately from the other interpretations I've seen of her on the site, and it puts a unique spin on the whole story - down to the brown hair (the Potions accident was a nice touch!) and how she's a lot more academically minded than most people write her. I'm interested in Jacob's backstory as well - other wizarding schools are fascinating, and I'd love to hear more about Snowvale!

Overall, this is a really good start to what promises to be a unique take on the Lily/OC ship and a really fun read! Good job!

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Review #18, by eunoia Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

2nd February 2015:
Hi! I'm here from the BvB thread!

This is quite an interesting first chapter. I like your characterization of Lily, she's bold and funny and I reckon she's going to get into some interesting situations throughout the course of your story.

I also found it humorous that Sagitta is continuing the Black's naming tradition of being named after constellations. Nice attention to detail by the way.

Jacob seems interesting? He's a bit of mystery at the moment isn't he? I wonder how Sagitta knew him despite the fact he went to school in Canada? And despite what Lily claims I don't think she's completely cooled off on him yet if her dreams are anything to judge by. ;) Is he the next dark wizard? Somehow I doubt it but it who knows?

Anyways, great opening chapter, looking forward to reading more! :)

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Review #19, by Veritaserum27 Double Dosage of Defence (Lily)

31st January 2015:
Hi there Olivia!

Review Tag!

Gosh it feels good to be able to review this under my real name, rather than "Secret Santa!"

Another great chapter here. You've managed to move the Lily/Jacob love story along and include a little bit of plot. Although this chapter is mostly about Lily and Jacob, I didn't mind the flirting one bit. I thought you captured the teenage back and forth flirting very nicely here, while still maintaining Lily's spirit and character. I love her. Have I mentioned that? I do hope they can come together and finally finish this little dance they are doing right now.

I thought it was funny that none of the kids considered Neville a legitimate teacher. He's so soft spoken, I can see where they would easily forget his role in the second Wizarding World. I was glad to see he was quick to remind them - and mention the fact that he was an Auror as well.

Haha - Hugo is completely clueless - and Lily and Rose both know it.

"Happy couple cursing time" I remember your tweet and laughed out loud at this line! You've managed to make Rose and Scorpius a completely lovable and adorable couple in so few words - it is astounding :)

Oh no - too bad Lily was so tired. I was looking forward to some more Lily/Jacob interaction!

Awesome chapter, I can't wait to see what happens next!

♥ Rose

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Review #20, by Secret Santa!! Interlude

6th January 2015:
Hey Olivia!

Here to review the last posted chapter and after the reveal tomorrow, I'm going to continue to review this story as you post new chapters (but I won't have to be in secret anymore!)

I really, really liked this interlude - it was a nice break for the Lily/Jacob story line and helped move along the mystery part really nicely. I also liked that you wrote exactly what you needed and didn't overdo it. I feel like a lot of authors try to make sure so many details and back story are crammed into chapters, that they end up being really tedious. This was done really well. I'm very creeped out by Alexandra - she seems far more dangerous than I thought before - oof!

The only hint that I'm going to give you as to my identity is that I've been on your list of suspects, but you haven't guessed me yet :)

~Your Secret Santa

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

It makes me really happy to hear that! I guess I just have to post new chapters. That'll be the hard part. I'm the world's slowest writer. *awaits Guinness World Record award*

I'm glad you liked the interlude. That was one of the things I worried about - whether or not I overdid it and if Alexandra was creepy enough.

And, going back, I realized that I could've figured you out a lot earlier than the reveal - the second review you left (I think) you left a heart symbol, and you're the only reviewer I know who does that.

Thanks for being an awesome Secret Santa!

~Olivia


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Review #21, by Secret Santa!! Hogsmeade (Jacob)

3rd January 2015:
Hiya Olivia,

Another review and I can't believe I'm getting to the end of the posted chapters!

Aww, the Hogsmeade trip - I think I've been looking forward to this as much as Lily and Jacob!

My favorite line of the whole story:

We walked quickly down to the Great Hall, each preoccupied in our own thoughts; mine were a mixture of food and Lily.

Aww, he's in deep, man.

Glad to see Sagitta and Lily having it out - hopefully those two will work out their differences, but I do feel a bit like Saggita is being a little too judgmental on Lily here - I mean, she didn't want Lily pointing out flaws in her own choice in a boyfriend - but I guess that's how teenage friendships sometimes work. I also really liked seeing a different side to Stoddard here - he really isn't so bad and it's awesome that you were able to show that by writing the story with two different POVs. I'll admit that I've written a story with that technique, but I wasn't able to keep up alternating the chapters as you have.

Haha - Harry was awesome - great job on characterization, and I really liked reading how he interacted with Lily and Jacob. He knew Lily would be angry with him, but he had his reasons. And he immediately picked up on Lily and Jacob's chemistry with each other. (It seems everyone picks up on this, except those two - even Stoddard).

Poor Jacob - migraine headaches are the worst! I hope he feels better soon!

Great chapter!

~Your Secret Santa

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

I looked forward to the Hogsmeade trip too! It was fun to write.

I'm glad you liked that line! He IS in deep, and I think he's perfectly content that way.

Sagitta and Lily will eventually work out their differences, mainly because, as you said, Stoddard isn't as bad as he seemed in the third chapter.

I'm going to assume you're talking about ASLTW here - you pulled off the alternating POV perfectly there! What are you talking about? (I will admit that that's the only of your stories that I've read so far.)

I'm glad you liked Harry's characterization. I had a hard time trying to write him and get him right.

And yes, Lily and Jacob are oblivious. Their chemistry will have to be drummed into their skulls by somebody else.

Headaches DO suck. He'll be fine, though.

~Olivia


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Review #22, by Secret Santa!! Contents of a Letter (Lily)

3rd January 2015:
Hi there Olivia!

I didn't forget about you - it's just been a busy week (ya know, I am Santa and I had to deliver a bunch of gifts...) But now it's time for YOUR gifts!

On to the proper review:

Jacob's and Lily's relationship seems to be taking a natural progression. They are both being careful about moving too fast. Although I was kind of sad that she keeps telling herself that they are just going to Hogsmeade as friends, when Jacob clearly wants to be more than that. :(

And I'm loving the mystery that's developing. Although I feel like Harry should've treated his children equally. Lily is not the type to scare easily and I think Harry might've done more damage trying to skirt the issue. Extra defense lessons! It reminds me of Harry taking extra lessons from Snape!

So there are 2 other things I haven't mentioned yet that I keep forgetting to tell you!

1. I love the DADA teacher's name. Blenkisop - Where did you come up with that?

2. I love you chapter summaries. It's brilliant that you are using awesome quotes for each one. I love it!

Great job on another great chapter!

~Your Secret Santa

And there are two things that

Author's Response: Beth, what makes you think I thought you had forgotten about me? You were an amazing Secret Santa!

I'm glad you like their relationship (which, admittedly, it isn't yet). The trip to Hogsmeade is basically a date (which Jacob realizes but Lily doesn't. It'll be drummed into her later).

Harry is a bit more protective of Lily, as she is his only daughter. The defence lessons will go better than Harry's lessons with Snape did, although I know that's not saying much.

I honestly don't know remember where Blenkinsop came from. As far as I can remember, his name just showed up and it was perfect.

I hate summaries so I'd rather find a quote that fits the chapter than summarize the chapter.

~Olivia


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Review #23, by slytherinchica08 Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

29th December 2014:
Alright so I was approached by your Secret Santa to use your story as my first live reaction tweet story so here I am! I'm so excited to be reading this story as I've seen it around and have meant to read it but for some reason have not done so yet! Before I even get to your actual story, I wanted to say that your banner and summary are absolutely fantastic! They each pull in readers and really made me excited to read this story and see where you go with it! I'm honestly shocked that this story hasn't gotten more attention yet! Oh well hopefully by the end of this I can create more interest in this story! Now onto your actual review!

Those poor Malfoys! Their family always ends up with the really weird names but yet it always seems becoming of the Malfoys and almost like they are saying "Hey we have more money then you, see how weird we name our children."

I love your use of manhandle here. I don't know why but it really made the scene of her trying to hold all of these different items plus keep up with Sagitta that much more vivid in my mind. I can only imagine how she must look to everyone else. AHAHA and there I go laughing because I imagine that she must look kind of crazy!

Ooh I love that Lily actually has brown hair! First of all its very original. And second, the whole reason behind her having brown hair is just absolutely amazing! The fact that James messed up on a potion and it caused Lily to have brown hair is just (yep you guessed it) original! Its a wonder that people haven't really thought of this before! This small detail in and of itself has already begun to make this story stand out even more to me! Great little detail!

AHAHA I'm liking Sagitta already! Blowing up a classroom on day one! She probably made Seamus jealous with her abilities, though she has a long way to go to catch up with him.

Oh my goodness! I can just imagine the whole of Gryffindor standing outside the common room just waiting for someone to come along and give them the password. It must have been a very quiet time in the common room and probably the last time that the common room would be that quiet!

The beginning of this story was really well done! I only found a few minor mistakes such as spelling errors, but nothing too horrible that it tripped me up or anything. The whole chapter flowed really well together and the way that you ended it definitely makes me wonder what exactly is going to happen in this story. Over all, it was a really good beginning and I can't wait to continue on and find out more about Jacob.

Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

Haha, it does seem as though they are saying that, doesn't it? Maybe Scorpius will give his kid a normal name. We'll have to see..

Lily probably looked just like everybody else, trying to wrestle their stuff onto the train. It's something I put in from my own experience traveling - "Here, get on this train, while carrying your 60 pound suitcase. All by yourself. And find your seat. Without knowing where it is." At least the Hogwarts Express doesn't have assigned seats.

I did notice that in the books, (at least I don't think) there's no mention of how their trunks got on the train.

I'm glad you like the brown hair! I had honestly forgotten about it because it doesn't pop up in later chapters.

Bahahaha I don't think anyone could catch up with Seamus in the department of setting stuff on fire. He's the king in that regard.

It's definitely the last time the common room's going to be that quiet. Gryffindor is a rather rowdy house.

I thought I caught all the spelling mistakes! *rereads chapter*

Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked this chapter (and that you followed through with Beth's suggestion)!

~Olivia


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Review #24, by Infinityx The Disadvantages of Being a Prefect (Lily)

25th December 2014:
Hi Bella! Here for the BvB!

I saw you had another story which I haven't read up - Fanged Revolution - but I really wanted to continue this one so here I am. I'll check that one out soon though. :)

I really like how the story is progressing. It's well paced and you've given enough attention to each scene to make it come to life. The simple tone and casual manner of Lily's PoV just adds to the effect.

Ah, I can't wait for the quidditch tryouts. From what I gathered so far, the sport is going to be a major part of this story and it seems like the momentum and drama will pick up once that starts.

Haha, Professor Blenkinsop. I like that name. :D

I love how you brought in the Bat-Bogey hex. It's such a great way of connecting to canon and bringing in Ginny's signature spell. Really nice detail there.

Stoddard seems like a nasty one. No surprise there, given his parentage. And his threat to Lily about the quidditch match just adds on to my anticipation of how things will progress then. It also seems like he's targeting Lily in particular, and Jacob, now that he and Lily are good friends. I wonder if that's got something to do with Lily being Harry's daughter. Or maybe Stoddard does have some kind of feelings for her, judging from the way he was really suggestive when he went over to the Gryffindor table. Hmm, I'm really curious to know things will turn out between them as well. A romantic element would just add to the drama!

Great chapter, once again. I'll be back soon!

Merry Christmas. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you like the progression. I didn't want to make it too rushed. Quidditch will definitely be a major part of this story.

The Bat-Bogey hex wasn't the original spell. I wanted Lily to use something that would humiliate Stoddard without actually harming him. After searching, I came across the Bat-Bogey hex and realized it was perfect.

Stoddard does seem horrible in this chapter, but he softens up later on. He doesn't really have feelings for her, though.

~Olivia


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Review #25, by Secret Santa!! A Man to Man Talk, Times Two (Jacob)

24th December 2014:
Hiya Olivia!

Here for another Chapter. Aww, this was so sweet. I know there wasn't a whole lot of plot going on. Ummm - except for the most important part of the plot - THEY ARE GOING TO HOSGMEADE TOGETHER!!

The "talk" with Albus went better than I'd hoped. I'm starting to like his character a lot. He really respects Lily and is going to demand that Jacob does as well. He's also willing to let Lily handle herself - because he knows she can. I don't think anyone wants to get on her bad side. Haha!

I feel like there might be a little more to come with the information about Jacob's aunt being released from Azkaban. If she's the family "bad apple," this might spell trouble for him. My only (super tiny) suggestion is to change the headline from "Olivanders Wand Stealer" to "Olivanders Wand Theif." It's just an opinion, but I think it sounds more like a headline - seriously not a big deal.

I really like how similar Lily and Albus are - in how they both eat their buns! It was really cute.

And my favorite line in the entire chapter was:

Lily should smile more often.

It was just really sweet and shows that he really is getting in deep!

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Yes, Lily and Jacob are going to Hogsmeade together. I think that section was my favourite part of the chapter (mainly because I envisioned myself and my own special someone in their places).

Albus definitely respects Lily, and knows that she is capable of handling herself. Lily is very much like her mother in that respect (not that Jacob would disrespect her anyway). And you're right, nobody wants to get on her bad side!

Jacob's aunt is very much the family "bad apple" - rotten to the core.

I'll go do that - thanks for suggesting it!

Jacob is definitely getting in deep!

~Olivia


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