Reading Reviews for Post-War-Problems - Event 3
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by randomwriter Post-War-Problems - Event 3

7th November 2014:
Hey there :) You said it was weird having no unanswered reviews, and I thought I'd come by and fix that ;) But I am sorry. This is going to be short and not as detailed as usual, because I'm hoping to add to my NaNo goal after this.

I finished reading this story and went to check the forums, when I saw your PM and thought that it was a funny coincidence that you should have thanked me (in such a sweet manner) for an earlier review when I was in the process of leaving you one :p

First off, I really didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this. There was no AU tag, and I saw that it featured Dobby and was set in the post Hogwarts era, which led my over imaginative mind to believe that the story might surround Harry reminiscing his good moments with Dobby. I think I believed that it may be angsty. You completely surprised me though. It was lovely to read this. It was funny and comical, bordering on parody-esque in some parts. The tone was perfect for a story of this sort.

I also liked how this flowed. It was an extremely quick and easy read, and it didn't feel like the story was being dragged on or rushed in any manner. However, I have a suggestion. One thing that could improve the flow to some extent is your word choices. While in most cases, you've done well, there are places (like, I think you've used the word' warrior'), where you could have used other words instead.

As for the characterisation, I thought Dobby was excellent. Perhaps a bit too quirky, but that's forgivable for a piece like this. It added a whimsical element that suited the plot. As for Harry, I think the dialogue sounded unlike him once or twice, but that apart, you wrote him well too.

I know that this must have been written in a hurry as it was for the House Cup. But I did find some issues with the dialogue tags and punctuation that are easily fixable. Maybe if you gave it another read now, you'd be able to take care of them :)

I really like that you gave Dobby such an important task. It does seem unlikely that Harry would not want to do such an important task himself, or that he doesn't want a say in this, but that's just me being way too nitpicky, and you should totally ignore that, because what you wrote says something more. It shows us just how much Harry is willing to trust Dobby, and that really is great to see because it isn't a friendship we see written too often despite the fact that they did have a caring and trusting relationship. Okay, that is a long and weird sentence, but I'm not going to bother to correct anything in this NaNo addled state of mine. You did justify Harry's choice well though. I suspect that the Prophet would certainly get a whiff of it and report it before he'd even get the chance to go to Ginny.

One suggestion I do have is to flesh things out and add in some more description. It's a minor thing, but I think it would really engage the reader more. Not too much, just a little will do the trick too :)

While this piece really made me smile and laugh (Dobby and the hats and the sandals ♥), it also made me feel sad that Dobby didn't make it. He was a lovely character, wasn't he?

Sorry again, for how short and unhelpful this is, and thank you for writing such a sweet and fun story for me to read :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you very much, I appreciate it! :P I actually laughed when I saw you said that this was short and unhelpful, that is 100% not that case! :D

Haha, that is fate? :P

I probably should put an AU tag on it, I can't think why I didn't but I will change it soon hopefully. I usually feel more comfortable reading angst so it's pretty rare that I write something else, but I just wasn't in that mind set when I was writing this.

Thanks for all your pointers, as you said this was written in a hurry and it defiantly shows when reading. At some stage I will go through and attempt to tidy it up a bit! :D

I brought Dobby back from the dead so I decided that Harry wouldn't want to choose his ring. ;) I take your point though, in any 'serious' piece I wouldn't have written that because it doesn't make to much sense.

Dobby and Fred. Should never have died.

Thanks for all your helpful pointers I will defiantly need them when editing this.

:)



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Review #2, by Akussa Post-War-Problems - Event 3

27th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here on account of the "review the person above you" activity in the Gryffindor CR!

I enjoyed this little story a lot. I was happily surprised by the tone of it; considering it's an after war sotyr, I expected a sad and dramatic story but every aspect in it was humoristic and I like that.

I could just picture Dobby with his many hats and flip flops... with a sock... And what a nice gift it would be for Harry; I can imagine his happiness!

I like how Harry trusts Dobby with such an important task as finding the perfect engagement ring but his reasonning is good. Of course he can't go shopping in the open!
It does feel a bit off though, I must admit, the timing. I don't know, it's probably just me but this seems precipitated.

Anyway, it was a good read and I enjoyed the laugh a lot. Thanks!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review.

As I am sure you can imagine, this was written in under 1 hour for the house cup and I need a lot of time to edit which I didn't do at all in this unfortunately!

That's why there are so many issues with this!

Anyway thanks again!


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Review #3, by Gladis Gudgeon Post-War-Problems - Event 3

20th October 2014:
Review Tag
This was supper cute and funny. The descriptions were were notably good. I liked the details you chose to share. The pacing was spot on. No part of the story felt overly dense or thin. The characterization for both Harry and Dobby was very good. The story was funny and you managed to pack a lot into just a few words. My only criticism is the dialog is just a bit off. Nothing in particular, it could just stand to be looked over and neatened up a bit. 9/10
Gladis G.

Author's Response: Hi,

thanks for the review!

:)


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Review #4, by Pretense Of Perfection Post-War-Problems - Event 3

12th July 2014:
Aww, I love the fact that Dobby is still alive. I think it's adorable how Harry asked him for help in getting an engagement, and could plausibly happen in canon, in an AU where Dobby didn't die, of course. I love how well you wrote Dobby's characterization, it's scarily accurate. I can totally see him showing up with a bunch of hats on his head, wearing flip-flops, and one sock. And then offering to get Harry some for christmas. I literally laughed out loud at the part. And Harry's expression? It was priceless. I love how Harry trusts Dobby with something so important in hsi life, and then goes on to tell Dobby that he is a true friend. It was a perfectly, light and fluffy piece, it really hit me. I so wish Dobby had lived so something like this could've happened, and I can totally see Dobby doing this for Harry. I loved this, it was wonderfull written.

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the review, sorry it has taken so long to reply.

I wrote this really quickly for the house cup as you can imagine, so I am not that pleased with it, however I am happy that you enjoyed it.

Dobby is one of my favourites and I can't believe he died still, so any Dobby fic I try and read which is why I had the idea for this fic.

Thanks!


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Review #5, by nott theodore Post-War-Problems - Event 3

12th July 2014:
Hi there!

Aw, this was a really cute story! In the books and films, Dobby's death is one of the ones that always gets to me every single time and has me crying like a baby, so it was actually quite nice to see the different version when Dobby clearly hadn't died - I was actually really happy to see him here and the way that you wrote Harry and Dobby together - that's quite a difference for me, because I love canon.

I really loved the way that you wrote the friendship between Dobby and Harry together here in this piece. It was so cute that Dobby was still wearing outrageous things like sandals - details like that helped to make this story really interesting and believable. But I think my favourite thing was the fact that Harry was asking Dobby for a favour when it came to one of the most important things in his life, asking Ginny to marry him, and of course Dobby would help him. It was just really cute and I enjoyed reading it a lot!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks for the review, I like canon to but I also like Dobby alive...;)

I'm pleased you enjoyed it


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Review #6, by TidalDragon Post-War-Problems - Event 3

9th July 2014:
Howdy!

Somehow I KNEW when I read the summary that this is the favor Harry was going to ask Dobby, and so I was willing to overlook the fact the story bucks canon in such a huge way because Harry/Ginny and because I love Dobby.

I think writing Dobby is always a big challenge because he's difficult to balance. I've never written him personally, but from canon it's clear that he's so enthusiastic and inquisitive, but also can be very wise. While his dialogue and mannerisms are often humorous to us because of how his kind behave, he still has important things to say and valuable ideas and knowledge and I think it's always important to strike that balance. Here, I think he came off a bit too skewed toward the quirky side (but that's just me).

The thing I think you got down really well was the awkward moments Harry encountered throughout. Try as we might to make excuses for him, Harry can be quite an awkward guy, with his running his hand through his hair and his "err's". You got that stuff down nicely and you made the mission he had in mind one that would rightly make any man nervous, let alone him.

Overall, I think this story was a great idea and you did a pretty good job executing it! Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for the review, sorry it has taken so long for me to reply.

Cannons


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Review #7, by Freda_and_Georgina Post-War-Problems - Event 3

8th July 2014:
For the House Cup 2014 Review
Yay- Dobby! I could totally see him wearing er, trying to wear multiple pairs of socks with flip flops. I wonder who gave them to him?
Ooh, he's engagement planning! Aw, I wish Dobby had survived in the books.
I'm not sure which would be scarier; going to see Mr. Weasley or Mrs. Weasley. Neither of them will be terrible to Harry of course, but I'm sure it's nerve-wracking.
--Freda

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! :)

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Review #8, by adluvshp Post-War-Problems - Event 3

4th July 2014:
Hello! Here for review tag =)

I liked the idea of this little piece, with Harry asking Dobby to buy an engagement ring. It was sweet, especially since I love the thought of Dobby being alive after the war and helping Harry out like a good friend. The way you wrote the dialogues was also witty, especially with Dobby being his old self and wearing too many hats and weird shoes xP

I understand this was written for the house cup so it must have been in a hurry, but now I think you can come back to this and polish it a bit =) There are some grammar and punctuation errors that can be fixed (comma and speech tags placement, sentence phrasing). It could also do well with some more description of Harry's inner thoughts and the surroundings around him to add colour to the story.

Otherwise, this was a good piece and I liked it.

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there,

thanks for the review and I will take on board your adivce of course :)


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