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Reading Reviews for Head Girl Evans
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by katwithlove Lily

11th June 2015:
Hi! This is for the HC 2015 Amazing Race Challenge, for Gryffindor.

Oh my god! You are so very cute and I love reading things from Lily's point of view.

Firstly I love how you went over Lily's history with the people at Hogwarts. You've shown that she is vulnerable and she still lets a few things get to her, which I'm sure she did. Then you showed that she was such a trooper through everything and she ended up becoming something big. She challenged herself and moved forward through all of the Slytherins and Purebloods being right prats to her.

You turned her into a really strong character and I love reading when Lily is this giant force to be reckoned with. She might have been a muggle-born, but she was just a good of a witch as anyone else in Hogwarts.

Then when you brought James into it I squealed with delight! I love that you incorporated him into it and having him be Head boy with her was really sweet, especially the bit of encouragement that he gave her. It was very heart warming.

Especially because he was so confident that she would be the one who got the position. I personally ship Jily and you really showed a strong foundation for a friendship and possible relationship down the road.

I really loved your writing throughout the whole thing, you were very descriptive and the story held my attention through reading it.

You also ended it very strongly and with a very bold statement.

Keep writing!

Author's Response: Hello there! Good luck in the House Cup!

First of all thank you, I agree, I am very cute and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this from Lily's point of view. There's no doubt in my mind that Lily was a strong girl but after seven years of being on the receiving end of prejudice like that, I'm sure that some of it got to her and influenced how she saw herself at least a little bit.

I'm sure it must've ticked off the pureblood elitist that Lily Evans, muggleborn witch, was probably better than most of the students at Hogwarts. I was near the end of the one-shot when I remembered, wait, James is Head Boy as well, how do I work him in there and so I managed to squeeze him in as naturally as I could and gave him a few lines.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!

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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Lily

11th June 2015:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the House Cup 2015! So, let's go over things:

Plot/Characterization: This was great! I love reading about Lily in her own context, outside of just "James's girlfriend." She's such a powerful, awesome character, and I love her. You did such a great job showing that. Really well done. And I liked that you didn't make James the stereotype. He was mature and responsible, and I really think that's the more realistic version of him. Good job!

Interactions: I loved the simplicity of the moments between Lily and James. They're not loaded with emotion or anything, but they're very significant in how they hint at the future. Loved that.

I would so love to see a story about Lily being awesome and running the school. Maybe I'll even write about that! This was a really inspirational story to me. Good job in your style and your story!

--Emily (DarkRose)

Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hello there again!

I'm so glad that someone loves Lily as much as I do because there aren't enough stories out there that focus on her and her struggles. She is so much more than just James's girlfriend. I never really understood that stereotype of James myself, I always pictured as someone more mature when he got older, capable of making jokes and being serious when the situation called for it.


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Review #3, by wolfgirl17 Lily

11th February 2015:

I'm here for review tag, and I must say, I enjoyed this fic. I really liked the way you focused so much n Lily's personality. I've always been a huge fan of the idea of Lily being a no-nonsense young woman with her head screwed on right and her priorities straight. I especially liked that you made her vulnerable behind her strong front.

You've got a couple of incidents where you're computer and auto-correct Lily's name back to lower case thinking you meant the flower and not the name, but other than that this story is lovely.

Great work! Keep it up!

xx-Wolfgirl17 (Ellie)

Author's Response: Hey Ellie!

I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed the fic! I haven't read a lot of fics that focused on Lily, and I really love her so I thought it would be fun to focus on the kinds of things that she probably felt and had to endure through her years at Hogwarts.

Thank you for pointing out the autocorrect thing, I completely missed some of the lowercase Lily's and I haven't realised this sooner.

Thanks for the lovely review!

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Review #4, by Veritaserum27 Lily

27th September 2014:

I'm here from the Ravenclaw common room for Story Search Round 1!

This was an awesome one-shot. I love how you picked the turning point in Lily's life to show overcoming adversity. She'd been bullied, cajoled and belittled for her entire Hogwarts career and it seems that she almost, almost believed them. Then, when the Head-Girl badge arrived, it was as if all of her dreams and aspirations were confirmed. She was ready. I loved your portrayal of James. He isn't the center of the show, and Lily is clearly taken aback that he is, in fact, Head Boy, but their relationship isn't center stage here, as it is in most fics. Yet, at the same time, you've perfectly captured his personality and adoration of her. He is happy enough to see her in the limelight and let her have the moment. This was such a fun, light read. Thanks so much for writing it!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Sorry for taking so long to respond to this but I'm finally getting to it now!

First off, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the one-shot! I enjoyed writing it! I loved writing about the difficulty that Lily must've gone through and what she must've dealt with while at school and how it must've hurt her. It was great getting an opportunity to explore that. I didn't want James to have a big part in this, I realized that I needed to have him in there somehow near the end because he was working as Head Boy with her but I let him come in at the very end. I imagine that James would be that kind of boyfriend who would be immensely proud of the people that he loved and to tell everyone their achievements.

Again, I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it and thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #5, by Anon Lily

13th August 2014:
I think you should make this a novel, it was a great idea to write about this subject in the first place and I think you would gain more if you wrote on. But this is just my opinion so you could always ignore me.

Author's Response: Hey there Anon, thanks for reviewing! Whenever people mention making something into a novel the idea takes place in my head and won't go away. I think I could definitely make it into a novel, I'm already thinking of things that I could talk about.

I MIGHT turn this into a novel, we'll see.

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Review #6, by Leonore Lily

1st August 2014:
Hi Grace! Dropping by from BvB!

That list of all the ways she's been bullied... poor Lily! And worried that she's not a Gryffindor because she runs away, because even though she knows logically that it's the sensible thing to do she's still got that doubt that maybe it makes her a coward.

Something I spotted: "when the meeting resumed" - as it hasn't get begun, I think you mean "began" ("resumed" implies there's a break in the middle of the meeting).

Yes, Lily! Definitely a proper Gryffindor! Bravery isn't necessarily about standing up for yourself and picking fights. It's about refusing to give up and sticking to your beliefs no matter what, and that's what she does. She deserves that badge.

A general comment - some of your sentences drag on quite a lot and can be a bit confusing. Maybe break them up a bit? A lot of the long ones, it's just a case of having the right punctuation to make it work, like this one I'd makes something like: "She couldn't question him about why he'd been chosen as her partner - the meeting was due to start any minute. She could express her shock for as long as she wanted afterwards."

Yes, Lily! Well and truly in charge. She showed those bullies what she's capable of! And in regards to your A/N - nope, not dark! I'd say it's happy, not pure fluff but very positive. Just keep an eye on your sentence length and punctuation to keep the flow smooth. Otherwise, lovely story! And great choice of topic!

~ Leo xx

Author's Response: Hey Leo! Thank you for stopping by and I'm glad that I caught you in Crit mode.

I can't really blame Lily for having that doubt that running away from the threat because she's from Gryffindor and I don't doubt that she had heard people say that running away from a threat made you a coward and that would've probably stuck with her.

I took your suggestions about the sentences and I cut some of them up into two sentences to make them shorter.

Lily is my baby so I really wanted to write about her overcoming the trouble that she must've gone through while attending Hogwarts.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Beeezie Lily

12th July 2014:
Huh. I really liked this take on Lily - I feel like it takes her out of the Mary Sue realms and into someone who's a little more realistic. The idea that part of what drove her to be such a powerful witch was competitiveness and the desire to prove people wrong is one that I can believe very easily, and given how many slurs and insults Hermione received when Voldemort was out of power, I can only imagine how much worse it would be to be Lily, who grew up during the First Wizarding War. The internal drive and sentiment that she absolutely had to be tough seemed like it was absolutely the sort of pressure that could mold someone into being as talented and accomplished as Lily is always described as being.

I really enjoyed this little look into Lily's character. Great job.

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Branwen, you are my last review!

I'm so glad to hear that you liked this version of Lily. I think if you look at what we're only given in the books, she seems pretty Mary-Sue but if you made up the rest of Lily, you could make her pretty realistic. I feel like in Lily's days, it was either be the best in your classes, especially Defense, or you'd find yourself in the hospital wing with a very bad injury, or dead.

Thank you so much for your awesome review!

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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57 Lily

10th July 2014:
Auggh! I felt like this whole story was a big rallying cry! Lily was bullied by people who told her that she was worth nothing, so she showed them that she was worth something! I admire her fierce determination throughout, throwing herself into her work and scarcely batting an eyelash at the ugly words they threw at her. This is awesome, because it shows her overcoming adversity by pretty much ignoring it and carrying on. I love that James didn't really enter into the picture too much--sometimes in fanfiction it's easy to forget that Lily was a total firecracker, and she wasn't going to take any nonsense from James or anyone else. His whispered comment was pretty awesome, though. :)

Great story!

House Cup 2014 Review


Author's Response: This was how I always pictured lily overcoming all of the abuse that everyone no doubt hurled at her. She let it break her a little before using it as a motive to work harder and to prove to everyone that she was worth something despite her blood status. If you have people yelling names and threats at you long enough, you learn to ignore what's being said to you so I have no doubt that Lily would've done the same.


I knew that James would have to be in the story in some way because of how I had it planned out in my head but this was really about Lily and how strong of a person she was, not about James and what part he had to play in everything.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #9, by evil little devil Lily

10th July 2014:
Hello again!
I really love the way you've written Lily. Somehow, I'm not sure how, I've never really given that much thought to all the troubles she would have been given (outside Snape) for being a muggle born during this era. But of course she would have been harassed for it, so it's such a fantastic idea to explore that.
Your characterisation of her was fantastic, the way everything she had to deal with only made her stronger. The part near the end was my favourite, where she silences any complaints merely by raising her eyebrow. That is very much how I picture her - strong, capable, and not taking trouble from anyone.
This was lovely to read, it's a great one-shot :)

- House Cup 2014 Review.

Author's Response: Hello there again!

Trust me, you are not the only one who has never given it much thought. Until I wrote this I had never really thought about what Lily must have went through from the other students in detail. It was always in the back of my mind I just never really thought much about it.

I'm glad that you enjoyed her characterization and I have to admit that I liked this version of Lily as well. At the same time no one said anything because Lily was sharp as a whip and a force to be reckoned with when she had her wand out so if anyone did have any complaints they would be shut down pretty quickly.

Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #10, by patronus_charm Lily

8th July 2014:
Hi again!

I really liked this one-shot too as it was really interesting to have a glimpse of Lilyís mind. I thought it was a really nice spin on the prompt for adversity because she hasnít always had the easiest of life being a Muggleborn and having to deal with people like Snape and Petunia but you showed us that she could battle through that and come out of it at the end.

The scene at the end with James was really cute and thatís saying something as Iím not a big Jily fan at all right now. It was just nice to see him being so sincere and honest and I really felt as if he meant what he was saying to her and just gave me a load of feels. I would just watch how many times you use she as it was used quite a lot throughout and got a little repetitive, but I understand with it being a time thing why it might have cropped up a lot then, but I just thought I would mention it :)

A lovely one-shot!

House Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: Hey there again Kiana!

This was one of my favourite entries to write actually because I was always interested in looking at the kind of things that Lily probably had to go through as a muggleborn throughout her Hogwarts years. She of course had to be as tough as she could if she was to make it as Head Girl.

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT NOT BEING A JILY I'M GOING TO CONVERT YOU! But I couldn't help myself in including James just a little bit (and it's not like I had a choice since he was Head Boy and all). I feel so accomplished since you found James sincere and honest so I'm just high-fiving myself right now.

I always have this fear that I'm using a characters name too much so I switch to pronouns and then sometimes I miss the fact that I'm using the pronouns too much and it's a difficult thing for me to manage.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #11, by maskedmuggle Lily

6th July 2014:

I always love reading about James and Lily and this was no different. I loved the way you portrayed Lily here, you definitely depicted her as overcoming adversity and I really loved the message of the story. I loved how you wrote about what Lily has had to struggle with over the past few years, and how, with effort and constantly picking herself up, she was able to show everyone who she really was. I just loved how mature you characterised her to be, as I felt that was completely realistic and believable. Particularly in that part where James comes in and she remains professional, realising that she can express her shock later. I also thought James was characterised really well, in his short appearance at the end.

I really loved how you wrote this. A lot of people are familiar with the struggles during that period, but I felt like you presented it in a different light to me and offered me a new insight into it. So great writing, I really enjoyed this :) Also, extra kudos to you for writing something for all three prompts!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: From that first sentence I can already tell that we're on the same page. You can never get tired of reading about James and Lily (unless you don't ship them in which case, you do). Lily has always seemed like the go-to-character for me when it comes to writing about someone overcoming difficulties in their lives. I'm so happy to hear that she came across as mature because to me she always sounded mature from the books and more collected than I sometimes see her as in fanfiction.

I'm so very happy to hear that you enjoyed reading this and thank you so much for your wonderful review!

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Review #12, by Unicorn_Charm Lily

6th July 2014:
Hi there!

Wow, this was excellent. I absolutely loved reading how Lily worked so hard, just to prove that she is just as good as any Pureblood. You always read how much Lily was loved by everyone. But that is always told through the point of view of former Gryffindors or old teachers. We really don't know how she was treated by the Slytherins. What she might have went through while she was at school. You painted a really good picture here. It was all things I could imagine must have happened to her.

I love that last line so much, It was Lily's turn to run the show. The only little, tiny issue I have - and not just with this story, with everyone who writes this - is I don't think Dumbledore would ever make James Head Boy. Especially since it's known how he wasn't a Prefect because he caused too much trouble. But other than that, I though this was amazing! Well done! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, hi! First off, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a review for me!

This was my first time writing Lily this way in anything Marauders related and I really enjoyed looking into the way that she was treated by people that were not in Gryffindor, because you're right, we only hear about her through the eyes of Gryffindor classmates and old teachers. Other students may not have thought her as much of a saint as everyone else.

Lol, I can see where you're coming from, and I had to actually search up for a second if James being Head Boy was just a headcanon because I forgot for a moment but I can understand what you mean. We weren't really given any indication in the series that James was a responsible youth that was worthy of being Head Boy so based on what little we know about him, he doesn't seem like the best choice out there.

Again, thanks so much for dropping a review!

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