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2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by zealousVisionary Hogwarts Express

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi there!

I thought the premise of your story was an interesting one, and I was excited to read it. This fic is really funny so far- I laughed out loud a few times! I have a couple critiques for you, but other than that, nice job.

One thing I would say is that though the dialogue was really nice between the characters, there were a few times that I got a bit confused about who was who because of how many characters there were. I would suggest that you add a bit more description in your story- doing so could potentially make your story even more attention grabbing and interesting than it already is, and it would also help clarify who's who more definitively.

My one other critique is that there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there. (For example, Gryffindor has a 'y' instead of an 'i', and at one point you wrote 'we're now stood' instead of 'we now stood' or 'we're now standing.') None of them were too bad, but I'd just thought that I'd point that out.

Other than those little things, great job on this chapter- it made me smile and even laugh at times! I can't wait to find out what happens in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the comments. I'm glad I made you laugh and I cant believe I missed the Gryffindor thing. I'll try to make the speech more clear but for the moment I've put this story on hold because I've had a great idea for a new story. I'm just waiting for it to be validated but if you have the chance when its up check it out!

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Review #2, by Susannah A feast gone wild

10th July 2014:
I really like this fanfic!! Just one thing its Gryffindor, other than that its amazing!!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so! I'll correct all the miss spellings!

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