Reading Reviews for Until the End
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AdinaPuff Together

26th January 2015:
Review swap!

Awe this was such a sweet one shot! I love Fabian and Gideon stories. They're exactly like the twins, which makes me so sad all of the time. I'm sure Molly thinks of them a lot, especially watching Fred and George grow up. It must have been really hard on her.

You told their stories perfectly. They became more and more mature, yet still mischievous at the same time. Picking on Molly grew to defending Molly which grew to fighting for Molly, and everyone else they love. It was a perfect sequence of stories.

Wonderful little one shot! They always make me happy and sad and hit me with all the feels. Great job! Loved it. :D

-Leigh x

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Review #2, by Diogenissa Together

26th January 2015:
Greetings and saluations Rose! Tis I here for our swap! :D


First, I chose this story because not only do I love minor characters but stories regarding family.

And I'm glad I did! I absolutely LOVED this! You take us through four very important points on the twins' lives from their boyhood to their hard-fought battle with the Death Eaters. I enjoy just how you show that over all that time just how strong their love and relationship grows and becomes. Truly amazing:

Snowballs--alright after I read it for some reason Fred and George came to mind IMMEDIATELY *laughs* as that most certainly sounds like something they would do! That whole scene was just too amusing--poor Molly!

Quidditch--YES--QUIDDITCH! This is the 2nd story I've read with an actual Quidditch scene and I'm growing to love them very much and I could visualize the entire thing as it was going on--very very awesome! I also really like how you showed how they defend Molly :) . It also reminded me of the very real truth 'no-one picks on my little brother/sister but me!' (being a middle sister I understand this to a small degree).

Fred/George--YES! This was very cute, wonderful and playful! I could not help but see all the parallels between both sets of twins, especially at the end where they 'give them pointers on misbehaving', like a passing on of the mantle (and had me thinking 'So THAT is where they got it--must be a family thing *lol*).

However this line just tickled me to no end: '“Nah, that’s just your aftershave they’re noticing,” Gideon teased. ' Solid gold!

Death Eaters--This rounds out the entire story nicely. There aren't really any words to describe just how powerful it is. I felt (literally FELT) nothing but shivers as I read through it. That ending--bringing it all to a head and completely full circle, the parallel between their mantra and the (unfortunately) literal fact is just---*shudder* WOW!

Overall absolutely BEAUTIFUL--you painted an intense story over how the twins' mantra has carried them throughout all of their lives, from the boys they were to the men they became, men who fought for a most noble cause and something they were ready to die for, making their life statement all that much more powerful. This was very well done and I could visualize the whole thing as it was happening and you captured just how the power of love, particularly of family and being twins, carried them through, and provided them with the strength and courage they needed when they needed it most wonderfully!

Thank you so much for a wonderful story as well as for the swap--I really enjoyed it and I hope that we can do another sometime!

Karen :-)

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Review #3, by Ydnas Odell Together

24th January 2015:
This in an interesting idea, well thought out and executed and it feels plausible. I have a real sense of the personality of the Prewett brothers and I like the repeated theme, However, you do have a glaring typo in the first sentence: 'bows' when you meant 'boys'.

Author's Response: Hi!!

Thank you so much for stopping by with a review! I'm really happy they came across with their own personalities in this - especially as it's quite short. eep, I'll get on fixing that typo!

-rose


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Review #4, by ReeBee Together

10th January 2015:
I should've known this was going to make me emotional! I swear tht I knew that this was going to end in their deaths but I just can't deal!!! AHHH!! Anyway. Onto the review!!

Plot: okay so cute. Like the innocence evolving and AH. I can't even. Just how two beautiful boys died :( I love their likeliness to Fred and George! And omg how you brought Molly into the plot killed even more! The fact that they in the end decided to go and fight the losing battle for their sister! And the inclusion of Fred and George and how they teach them how to misbehave. It's all too perfect oh why oh why did they have to die!!!

Characterisation: like I said, I LOVE the comparison to feed and George and how they realise that they are extremely similar! It's amazing! And it's sort of sad because I couldn't help thinking how they died together but later, George has to deal with Fred's death and that bought on even more intense feelings :(

Description: okay it's not fair that you're so talented at this and literally just put our emotions through this huge emotional roller coaster :( like why!! But it's so so amazing. I think description aided the plot perfectly! I love the description in the first snap shot- with the snowball fight. It's adorable!

Anyway, thanks for the review swap Rose! Write more like this it kills me!

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Curie!!

I can't quite get over how awesome your review is!! Thank you so much!! As my first Prewett brother story I didn't expect it to be quite so moving. Bringing Molly in was a must for me - i'm so glad you liked her involvement. I almost wrote a one-shot about how much the twins reminded Molly of her brother and helped her process her grief but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was trying to make them 75% similar to Fred and George but it is sad to think of this set of twins dying together and the others not. :( hehe, I'm really glad this was a roller coaster for you. :D


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Review #5, by marauderfan Together

9th January 2015:
For our swap!

This was really sweet. Fics about the Prewett brothers are rare, and I love the way you wrote them here, as well as the family dynamics in general. Especially how they care about Molly. Like any brothers, they tease her a lot, but they are the ONLY ones allowed to do so and if some Slytherin or a Death Eater says something about her, then they stand up for her no matter what. I just really loved the whole family relationship.

I like that they have a lot of similarity to Fred and George, but aren't too similar. I mean, Fabian was a Prefect ;) but they still stick together, finish each other's sentences, and have a sense for mischief. The scene with them and young Fred and George was really sweet :D

And the last scene aaah! So sad, but of course it had to be this way :( And that they died to protect Molly. I wonder if she ever knew. So much love for the Prewett brothers right now.

The way the "together... until the end" and the "I didn't think it'd end like this" repeated through the whole fic had this lovely cohesive element that tied all these little snapshots together, and ascribed a different meaning to those words ever time, which I thought was impressive. At first, they get in trouble together until the end of their mischief, then they didn't expect their Quidditch scrimmage to end in the loss of so many points, then Fred and George found them. And the last one was just heartbreaking because they know the end is coming, and it's the END end, it's kind of like their way of saying goodbye as they support each other in this battle. But they do expect how it's going to end this time. Gah :'(

This was really well written and such a good fic, I loved it! Great work, Rose!

Author's Response: I'm always glad when people say this isn't something they've seen a lot of. Writing the Prewett brothers did feel like opening up a new part of the HP world that I hadn't seen before. Molly is so into her own family that I imagined that started wtih her own brothers and how they treated her. :D

Making them too similar felt like cheating. Having them wtih some overlap was kind of a fast way to make them but I wanted to have some familiarity for people. I couldn't resist writing about them with Fred and George.

Phrases are often contextual (hence the rise of "that's what she said" in pop culture). It's the circumstances that give words most of their meaning. The end was really hard for me to write. I just wanted to cocoon them in safety but couldn't.

thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #6, by maraudertimes Together

6th January 2015:
Hiya Rose! Thanks so much for the review swap!

OMG this was amazing! I don't read many Prewett brother fics, but this was amazing even so! Gideon and Fabian are so much like an older version of Fred and George, so I loved that you called the younger twins their proteges. It really worked with how you set everything else up.

I loved the little quips about being in it together until the end, even if it meant going up against their mother, the Slytherins, the Weasley bunch, or the Death Eaters. It really gave their brethrenship (not actually a word but ignore that) a new dimension and really helped developed their characters.

With such a sad but canon ending, I can neither be mad nor glad with you because you did what I loved - sticking to canon - but also you kind of killed them off (alluded to it anyways) - which makes me sad. :( You did amazing on this story Rose. I'm just so sad that they were together in their very early end because they should've lived longer. Excuse me while I cry...

No, but honestly, this was amazing and I'm so glad I got the chance to read this! Thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Thank *you* for doing a review swap.

I haven't read a lot about them either so it was fun to jump into rather uncharted territory. I didn't want them to be exactly like Fred and George but just enough so that they were protoge-ish.

Having the phrase mean something different each time felt important to get the overarching changes in their lives. I'm so glad it built a deeper connection for you too.

I definitely blame the ending on JKR. I didn't want to write about them actually dying because :( I couldn't do it.

ah! I'm so happy you liked this. thank you for this awesome review!

-rose


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Review #7, by mymischiefmanaged Together

1st January 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our swap. I've chosen this one because the Prewett brothers are some of my favourites, and I absolutely love what you've chosen to do with them. The different extracts of their lives you've written fit really beautifully together to tell their story, but for the purpose of this review I'll talk about them separately.

The snowball fight is a lovely scene. I like the two of them going against Molly. It sets us up with this idea of them as a unit and a pair, rather than part of the group. Molly's telling of them is adorable, and in a strange way fits in very well with who we know she grows up to be. It's just sweet all round, and you've characterised their childhood very well.

And then in the next section they get into even more trouble for defending Molly rather than for attacking her, which is just perfect. I like how goodnatured they are about the fight, treating it as a bit of a joke even though there are obviously strong feelings involved. And I really like the difference in their responses to McGonagall. Fabian's obviously a little more reserved, and cares more about being told off. Gideon's more of a joker and reminds me of Fred and George. It's nice to treat them as separate people rather than giving them all the same characteristics.

The scene with Fred and George might be my favourite of them all. It's very bittersweet, this idea of them training up the little twins to be their successors, almost, especially because we know what lies ahead for Fred. It's beautifully written and very poignant, as well as being sweet and funny. Also I like how bit a part of their lives Molly is in all these scenes. She's in the background but they clearly adore her.

And then they eventually die for her, which is unbearably sad but does them justice as characters. I wonder if Molly ever knows they've died to protect her? You get the right balance of love and terror, and I'm glad you ended with Fabian's smile rather than with their deaths.

This is a really beautiful one shot. Thank you for the swap and for introducing me to the story!

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hi Emma!!!

I'm so happy you picked this - and even more happy that you enjoyed it.

The snowball scene was meant to set the stage for how they are together. A unit and highly involved in Molly's life. I didn't think of Molly's telling on them as being similar to her as an adult but it fits very well.

You really nailed what I was doing with F&G here - making them constantly a part of Molly's life even when she wasn't physically there with them. They are very good natured, even with their tempers going.

I like to think that Fred and George wanted to be like their uncles and that Molly saw a lot of her brothers in the twins. Though it does break my heart when I see that meme about Molly never imagining her boys being separated (her boggart showed them dead together) just like her brothers were never separted.

I don't think Molly ever knew they died to keep danger from her. Or maybe she finds out and that pushes her and Arthur's loyalty to Dumbledore in the second war. I couldn't bring myself to show their deaths and a smile did feel much, much better.

Thank you for the lovely review!

-Rose


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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57 Together

9th August 2014:
Oh no... This was so lovely and sad and sort of happy at the same time. I'm not sure which emotion I should pick! D:

Fabian and Gideon Prewett are really rare in fanfiction, but I love the way you've written their relationship. It would seem that they are similar to Fred and George, but not completely similar, which is really really good. Who wants to read about carbon copies of Gred and Forge? Not me!

So I really appreciated the fact that Fabian was the serious twin, the one with a prefect's badge. Gideon gave him a lot of grief for it, but Fabian obviously valued keeping the peace--though when taunts were aimed at him about his sister, he wasn't going to stand by and let it happen. :)

The vignettes that you chose to write were perfect. I like how you showed them in each situation, and how their "together until the end" thing took on new meaning each time. Actually, could you just write a novel about them soon? I want more! And I seriously love your writing style in this. :D

The one thing that I'm not sure about is the babysitting of Fred and George. I don't know for sure, but weren't Fabian and Gideon...*sobs* dead by then? I don't know, maybe there's nothing in canon about it, so you can take creative license (you can do that anyway, of course). However, it was a really enjoyable scene to read and the story was better for having it in there. :)

The end. *cries harder* They tormented Molly for her whole life, no doubt, but they died with the same mindset that they had on the Quidditch pitch--"no one messes with our little sister and gets away with it." Arrghh, I love the Prewett twins.

Please write more about them. Please please please?

~For the August BvB Review Battle~

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: hehe, I'm happy I caused a variety of feels.

I was going for a Fred and George-ish feel but didn't want to copy them exactly. They were to feel like protypes. I'm really happy they were nice to read. :D

Making Fabian slightly Percy-ish was part of my intention to make the set different from fred and george and to make him not the same as Gideon. Family (especially Molly) were very important to them.

I have plans to include them throughout other stories. If I ever write my NaNo idea from November. I like writing snippets like this though. it's fun.

Their phrase ate at me throughout this. It kept poking my feels and I'm glad it didn't become clunky. eee, I'm so happy you liked my writing in this!!

I was definitely inspired by the way Ginny's brothers treat her - they'd tease her to no end but would go to bat to defend her.

I will definitely include them in a short story collection I have teed up. I promise.

thank you os much for a lovely review!!!

-Rose


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Review #9, by Pretense Of Perfection Together

28th July 2014:
Aw, what a poignant and bittersweet peek into the lives of the Prewett twins.

I always love reading about Gideon and Fabian, and you managed to capture their characters perfectly. I envision them to be a lot like Fred and George, finishing each other's sentences and being together through everything. I love how you really managed to show that, from their childhood until their deaths, and it's so sweet how they always says together until the end.

The pacing and plot were perfect, and I think you did a lovely job overall. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, so awesome job there too!

I love reading stories that are written by author's out of their comfort zone, but I honestly never would've guess that was the case here. The writing flows naturally, and doesn't feel forced, and you paint such a beautiful picture. Amazing one-shot!!

Author's Response: Hi Fae!

Your review is so sweet! I'm quite happy you enjoyed this! :D

When I was writing Fabian and Gideon, I made a definite effort to make them similar to but not the same as Fred and George. Giving a lifelong view of their relationship felt like the best way to make their ending all the more difficult (for the reader).

I'm so thrilled that the story came through as well-paced. I was lucky enough to get a beta to look at this which I think helped with the typos.

Thank you so much for doing this challenge! I always like writing new eras, characters, and situations.

-Rose


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Review #10, by jessicalorewrites Together

19th July 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap :D

First off, bearing in mind you only gave me your author page, I just want to say I chose this fic because the Gideon/Fabian relationship has always intriguied me to no end but I've never properly made an effort to read any. So here I am!

My oh my they seem like little tricksters. Why am I not surprised? They always took me as the Fred and George of their own generation.

Wow, this oneshot kind of blew me away though. Especially with the repetition of "together" and "until the end." It tied all the different snapshots together seamlessly and shows that you put a lot of thought into the flow and how it would read.

CC (kind of): In the first line you write "the two small bows" -- typo? bows to boys? :p

But apart from that, this was amazing! Such an easy read, I didn't find myself stumbling over oddly worded sentences at all. Not only were your characters believable (and loveable) but well-fleshed out. And although there wasn't "plot" outright, it was a heart-warming (by the end... heart-wrenching) array of different moments in their lives.

I loved it!!

xo

Author's Response: HI!!

I'm glad you picked this one! It's pretty new so I'm excited to get feedback on it. :)

Making them tricksters was a must but I didn't want them to be carbon copies of Fred and George but similar enough. I wasn't sure if giving them a catchphrase in such a short story would really work out - but I'm thrilled it did. I dunno, I liked hte evolution of circumstances in which they'd say it. THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT! :D

It makes me so happy this was an enjoyable read. I cranked it out kind of fast in an evening. It's a relief that they were well developed given the short story. I just wanted this to show moments of solidarity culminating in an ultimate moment of togetherness for them.

thank you for a spectacular review!

-Rose


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Review #11, by Beeezie Together

9th July 2014:
Oooh. I remember making the banner for this and thinking that it sounded super interesting and that I should make a note to read it when I got a chance. I'm glad this decree gives me an excuse!

I love the way you use repetition here in such very, very different contexts. It really showed a lot of sides to Gideon and Fabian while keeping their relationship with each other relatively consistent and intact, and I loved that. I also loved what you showed of their relationship with their sister Molly - from it, I could really see the depths of her grief after they die and how hard it is for her to adjust. She might not have known it for sure - though I wouldn't put it past a Death Eater to mock her with it - but in a lot of ways, they really did die for her. They died for the cause, too, of course - but right then? It was out of love for their sister.

And that was heartbreaking and beautiful to me.

House Cup 2014 - Ravenclaw

Educational Decree #5

Author's Response: Hi!!

I've always wondered if people check a story out while they're doing banners. I think I'll have to make sure I include lots of details in the future. :D I'm glad it sounded interesting from the request and that it was a nice read for you.

You really picked out everything I was trying to do with them in this one-shot. Their relationship with Molly was a background narrative to this but it meant a lot to me. It was incredibly fun (then sad) to write about them at these various points in their life. I don't know if she found out that they died to protect her and her family but I imagine she knows they died for them in the larger "people who die in war do it for the safety of their loved ones" sense. I'm really glad you saw that it was their love for Molly that caused them to stay and fight.

Thank you for such a lovely review!!

-Rose


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27 Together

9th July 2014:
Hi Rose!

I absolutely loved this story. Everyone always views Gideon and Fabian to be just like Fred and George, but you made their relationship so much deeper. They had silly times, serious time and sad times, but through it all, it was always the two of them. They had each other. I loved the moments that you chose to show - revealing bits of Molly's early life with Arthur and her boys. Those are moments that we rarely get to see. This was such a great story, I laughed, teared up and smiled at different points - at it was all within fifteen hundred words too! I also liked to see that they had a few moments with their (sort-of) namesakes - always love a good bit of little Fred and George!

House Cup 2014 Review
Educational Decree #5

Author's Response: Beth!!

I'm so happy you liked this story! I couldn't make them carbon copies (or originals) of Fred and George. It just didn't sit well with me. I'm thrilled that the moments captured their realtionship as well and also gave them depth. I did want to show their closeness with Molly too - I'm glad that panned out. I wrote another story where Fabian and Gideon interact iwth Molly, Bill, Charlie, and Percy. I think it's an interesting period to write about.

I can't tell you how excited I am that this caused a nice range of emotions for you!! It's always nice to be able to do that in such a short story.

Thanks for an awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #13, by patronus_charm Together

9th July 2014:
Hey Rose!

No, no, no, no stop breaking my heart Rose I won’t allow it any more as it’s just too sad and I can’t deal with any more sadness I think it was the way Fabian and Gideon just worked together throughout and just knew each other inside out which is what did it for me as they were so close and were just clearly more than twins that in a way it was good they were together until the very end (loved the use of that!) so they were never separated because living on without the other would have been so sad, but then also it means no more of them. Wah, the comment about Molly being chubby was horrible though and I wanted to throw things then, because again so sad, but this silly task means I can’t read anything happy now so I’ll just drown in the sadness of it all!

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review & Educational Decree #5

Author's Response: KIANA - I hate to say it but if you want me to stop breaking your heart, you'll have to stop with TR right away. just... yeah.

Fabian and Gideon were really fun to write - even with the super sad ending. I was so on the fence about whether their repeated phrase would work for this but it seems to have been good! I was kind of inspried by the DH pt2 scene with Fred and George as the battle approached when I came up with this idea for Fabian and Gideon. A few people reminded me that Molly's patronus was her twins dead together because he could never imagine them separated (quite like her brothers). But, yeah, thier defense of Molly when that jerk called her chubby was really fun. I dunno, I like to think they were close to her (why else would she be so torn up about their deaths). I hope you've recovered from the sadness of decree 5.

THANKS FOR A FAB REVIEW!

-Rose


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Review #14, by HeyMrsPotter Together

3rd July 2014:
Hi, Rose!

When I read the summary for this I was really excited to read it, I love minor character stories and this is only the second I've ever read about Gideon and Fabien. I always imagined them to be similar in their personalities to Fred and George so the opening sentence immediately had me hooked.

I really love all of the characters and their interactions throughout this. Their mother telling them off reminded me so much of Molly, and I was all 'Oh, so THAT'S where Molly got it from' and then I realised it might not be because this is fanfiction (but that's totally a good reflection on your writing!) McGonagall was perfect, and I just adored that whole scene. It showed that although the boys are twins, they still have their own personalities- Fabian obviously being slightly more studious.

Their relationship with each other is just totally perfect. I think it could have been really easy for you to make them carbon copies of Fred and George, finishing each other's sentences and the like, but I'm really glad you didn't. It was lovely to see the way they grew with each other through the story in their interactions with different people, with Molly and their mum as youngsters, with their peers and teachers at school, and then as Uncles in adulthood (I think that was my favourite part!)

The ending was perfect. I mean, totally heartbreaking and killed my feels, but perfect nonetheless. A really great read, Rose. Thanls for requesting!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Dee!!!

I've peppered F&G in a few other fics but never as the MCs. They were a fun challenge to write. I did try to make them kind of similar to Fred and George (I lifted the snowball idea from them in the first book even).

Ah! I'm so glad you liked their mum and the other characterizations. I did use Molly as a mother to base their mother on. I loved writing McGonagall in this. I'm so happy their differences from one another stood out as important. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle of exactly the same in every way to not the same at all.

It means so much to me that their relationship came through strong throughout this. I was worried that it wasn't deep enough/was too shallow. I wanted them to be quite similar to Fred and George but with their own quirks. ha, yeah, I love hte idea of Fred and George learning from not just knowing their uncles but hearing about them after they died.

Yay for heartbreaking!! I plan on one day writing a story about Molly dealing with their deaths which should also be full of sad feels.

Thank you so much for an awesome review and for volunteering to look at people's stuff!

-Rose


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Review #15, by kenpo Together

28th June 2014:
OH GOD. I READ THIS LAST NIGHT (or a few nights ago?) AND IT MADE ME SO SAD, AND THEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT.

Deep breaths. Okay. This was a shocker. I forgot about this.

One thing. I think that Accio might not be the best spell there. Wouldn't you use expelliarmus?

Really, though... I don't much to say other than WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? You enjoy it. I know that you do. When they're playing with Fred and George... ahals;djfa;lsdjf;saldkjf;oewaijf.

Pretty much all I can say is ;salkdfj;owiejf.

They were giving them pointers in misbehaving!!!

Ugh. People always post that thing about how the boggart turned into Fred and George dead TOGETHER, because she couldn't even imagine them separated, and she was probably picturing her brothers, wasn't she? They at least died together AND NOW I HAVE FRED FEELS, THANK YOU SO MUCH, ROSE.

I seriously don't understand how I managed to forget about this. That's what happens when I read fics in the middle of the night. (It's 3am... I guess I don't consider that the middle of the night...? I probably read this at like 8am, which is morning to normal people, but my middle of the night).

I've been noticing since I've been reading your stuff that you're always improving. You've always been totttallalallly fab, but things like your sentence structure and grammar have improved so much!

At the end, you say "Fabien went to open his mouth", and "went to open" just didn't fit very well into the rest of it, you know? You might want to see about making that fit in a bit better with the rest of the narrative.

Such a great, touching story, Rose. I'm a little bit happy that it doesn't count, because it would send me down one more step in the rankings.

OKAY AND I LOVE THAT YOU ENDED IT WITH HIM SMILING.

Sorry. I can't write a review right now. You'll have to make this one suffice.

You're fantastic. I'll keep fangirling over PM.

-Georgia

Author's Response: I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT YOU SO HARD WITH THIS STORY. Okay, I did.

THE FRED FEELS WERE ACCIDENTAL. I just wanted to give people the "aw, they got their rule breaking ways from their uncles" not "OMG THEY ALL DIED - EXCEPT FOR GEORGE." That was unexpected but still quite fun to get. :D

Um, I think I did accio instead of expelliarmus bcause... well, in the books disarming does a random assortment of things (blasts their wands away, causes it to fly towards the caser, pushes the people back, etc.) and I just wanted their mum to get the wands. I think with more experienced wizards, they'd have to use expelliarmus but with a kid accio might work just as well.

Ooh, yeah, I saw the boggart thing the other day (it made me cry a bit). I do think Molly saw a lot of her brothers in Fred and George (which could be why she wasn't *too* hard on them as kids).

!!I'm always happy to hear that my technical skillz are improving. I dunno if it'll sound big-headed but I've always thought I was a good story teller with not so great technical skills. *hug* Thanks for pointing that out.

I'll have to check out the went to open his mouth bit, it's not ringing any bells at the moment.

ha, your stories did quite well on their own. I'm not usually one to win competitions anyway. :)

I thought the smile at the end would inject some warm feelings into a rather sad scene.

Thank you for such an awesome fangirling review!!

-Rose


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Review #16, by greenbubble Together

27th June 2014:
Hello toomanycurls! I'm glad that we had the chance to do this review swap because I very much enjoyed reading your House Cup entry. I think that the friendship between Fabien and Gideon was very well executed and in some areas, pretty much faultless.


In the first scene where they were trying to barrage Molly with the snowballs, I quite liked how they had a sort of 'pre talk' where the phrase 'Until the end' came up. It is a nice use of repetition throughout the story which adds a meaning of friendship lasting for enternity which was part of the prompt.


The only thing that I would suggest for that section is to try and include slightly more detail on what the mum did when she told Fabian and Gideon off. It all seemed a little rushed to me the way she suddenly came out, took their broomsticks and told them to come in without a word. Are Fabien and Gideon OCs?


I also like your quick change of scenes from the bit where the mum had just told them off to the Quidditch Match: Gryffindor Vs. Slytherin. The opening sentence was really quite simple but very fluent and effective. As I said before, I really like your use of repetition in 'Until the end' . You have used the prompt well and your friendship clearly shines through the plot. I sort of think that the scenes show that you are not only friends for a few hours but you are friends for life.


Another thing I wanted to point out is that you have used 'Gideon teased' twice without a large gap between. If you would like another option, you could change it to 'tormented'. It is up to you of course.


One of the best scenes in the one shot is the last scene because they stick together no matter what even when they are in trouble. They do everything together and if one of them is in trouble then the other one is in trouble.


I like the 'faint smile' in the last sentence because it is almost as if Fabian is finding a candle in a dark space. I just wanted to put that in before I said goodbye :P.

I loved reading this and good luck in the House Cup!


- Emma

Author's Response: Hi Emma!

I'm so glad you liked the friendship between Fabian and Gideon. :)

Their snowball bit was kind of fun to write. It reminded me a bit of Fred and George which is why I put it in there. Their catch phrase for this was important to set up early (to me at least).

Fabian and Gideon are canon characters - they're Molly's brothers mentioned in OotP as part of the first Order of the Phoenix and again in HBP when Molly gives Harry Fabian's watch. According to Moody they 'fought like heroes' against the death eaters before they died (which is what inspired the last scene for this). I'm not sure why a rushed scene would make you think they're OCs though.

The point of this was to show their solidarity - I'm glad that showed through their various scenes. They're brothers so some of that was from growing up together but it's also because they're quite close.

Thanks for such a nice review! Your feedback has given me a bit to think about.
-Rose


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Review #17, by Infinityx Together

26th June 2014:
Hey Rose, here for our swap. I'm sitting at work and trying to keep a poker face but I'm so close to tearing up. The way they started off at kids and were literally together till the end. The feels. I just can't. :'(

Their antics were so cute and helped in building up the tragic ending. Minerva's just epic. I can imagine her crisp tone cutting through the cold air. Haha, aeronautic duelling club. That totally seems like something she'd say! You're just brilliant, Rose!

Ooh, the Prewett brothers taking the Weasley twins as their protégées. That was a wonderful touch. Maybe the mischief gene has been passed down generations of twins! :D

I knew they were going to die, but that didn't make the ending any less powerful. You've given such a fullness to their characters. They love mischief and fun, but they also have a sense of responsibility and love their family. That made them even more endearing and their fate heartbreaking.

Great job with the one shot! I'm going to go cry in the bathroom.

Author's Response: I'm sorry (kind of) for making you fall in a puddle of feels! I've been wanting to write about them for a while and this prompt just gave me a plunny for it.

:D I'm so glad you liked their mischevious antics. haha, Minerva's cameo was fun to write. I couldn't have her not yell at them for rule breaking.

Once I figured out people's ages for this story, I realized that there had to be some Prewett/Weasley bonding over the fine art of troublemaking.

It really means a lot that I was able to give them enough character to make their deaths meaningful. i'm glad that their family bond came through as well - I didn't want to be too overhanded wth that but it was important to me that it be there.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #18, by 800 words of heaven Together

25th June 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Wah! I love Fabian and Gideon stories, but I avoid reading them for the same reason I avoid reading Fred and George ones: THE TEARS MY HEART IS BLEEDING.

I love the way you've written this, showing their tight bond over the years. They always seem to do everything together, and obviously mischief and madness are on top of the list! I felt sorry for poor Molly; she must have had an eventful childhood with two elder brothers like that!

McGonagall's cameo was just perfect, especially her comment on joining the English aeronautical duelling club. Now I want to write a fic about it...

That scene with Fred and George was just heartbreaking. You know what's coming for both pairs, but it reminds you that there's good in the world, as well as bad.

Lovely story! I'd say go Ravenclaw, but that would make things awkward :P

Author's Response: I'M SORRY FOR YOUR BLEEDING AND CRYING HEART - except that I wrote this just to be sad... all you people left such sad stories in the queue that I had to come back with my own.

Ah! I'm so happy that i managed to show their closeness and fraternal bond. It was tough to give them such breadth with a word limit like the one we had. If I had more space, Iw ould have shown Molly holding her own with them. I don't think they were just torture for her but she eventually got to be theier equal (a bit like Ginny wtih all her brothers).

If you write a fic about that - I'll definitely read it!!

In my head, I like them spending time with Fred and George - for the irony and sadness as well as the idea of them passing along their ways.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!! haha, it's okay to be awkward with the house cheers. :P

-Rose


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Review #19, by Lululuna Together

24th June 2014:
Hi Rose! Ah, I was so torn between this and the next chapter of TR but as this is shiny and new I just couldn't resist. And I'm so glad I read this - all the lovely feels! :(

The spirit you wrote with Fabian and Gideon was so perfect and brotherly. I loved how the title was tied in throughout the anecdotes in the story, and how it helped unite the brothers as a catch phrase they used as well as add the poignant and meaningful use of the last line. Their mischief came through so well here, though I also liked how there were some differences like Fabian being a prefect and perhaps Gideon being a bit more reckless.

McGonagall's sass was hilarious - I loved how she said "aeronautic dueling club." and was so hard on the Gryffindors.

One theme which I really liked through the story was the brothers' relationship with Molly and how they teased her and had fun with her, but ultimately protecting her is their first priority, whether from rude comments or from Death Eaters. The strength of their love for their sister was amazing to read and their unity in protecting her was one of my favourite aspects of the story.

And how they got to play with Fred and George and teach them about being mischievous! I never imagined that happening, but I love that it did before the uncles died.

There was some really great unity throughout the anecdotes, especially how most of them began with Fabian and Gideon hiding or being apart from other people and talking to just each other. It showed their bond and rapport very well and made the story flow smoothly.

Great job, Rose - I knew how this was going to end, and so was heartbroken throughout as I knew what the end was going to be, but I absolutely loved it and how you wrote the characters! :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad you picked this! Just because it's new and shiny and needed love.

This story kind of just hit me and I had to write it - I did struggle with writing Fabian and Gideon in a way that didn't just seem like Pre-Fred&George twins because that was tempting. I wish I had more words because I would have spaced out their catch phrase a little more. I'm so glad you liked their characterizations - I had to make them not quite the same so that they'd stand on their own (and again, not just be like Fred and George).

:D I worried about that line and whether it sounded too muggle. Though, I could see her coming out with quick wit like that.

*squee* I wanted to have Molly at least relevant to all their little scenes, even if only in name. In the books she seemed to have been close to them and I wanted to show that in some way without bogging down the story with their narrative. I do want to make the ending a bit stronger and clear that they were making a choice to go out fighting rather than let Molly be in danger. I'm not sure that was clear.

I've been making a spreadsheet of people's ages and when they died. Fred and George were almost 3 when they died (so maybe I fudged a little in their maturity here). Fabian and Gideon definitely had a long time to influence Bill, Charlie, and Percy though (Bill was 11 when they died).

!! I'm glad you noticed and liked the hiding/talking theme. I mean, I was worried that it'd be too repetitive or uncreative.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this review! Thank you so much for taking a break from TR to read this!

-Rose


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