Reading Reviews for Until the End
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jessicalorewrites Together

19th July 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap :D

First off, bearing in mind you only gave me your author page, I just want to say I chose this fic because the Gideon/Fabian relationship has always intriguied me to no end but I've never properly made an effort to read any. So here I am!

My oh my they seem like little tricksters. Why am I not surprised? They always took me as the Fred and George of their own generation.

Wow, this oneshot kind of blew me away though. Especially with the repetition of "together" and "until the end." It tied all the different snapshots together seamlessly and shows that you put a lot of thought into the flow and how it would read.

CC (kind of): In the first line you write "the two small bows" -- typo? bows to boys? :p

But apart from that, this was amazing! Such an easy read, I didn't find myself stumbling over oddly worded sentences at all. Not only were your characters believable (and loveable) but well-fleshed out. And although there wasn't "plot" outright, it was a heart-warming (by the end... heart-wrenching) array of different moments in their lives.

I loved it!!

xo

Author's Response: HI!!

I'm glad you picked this one! It's pretty new so I'm excited to get feedback on it. :)

Making them tricksters was a must but I didn't want them to be carbon copies of Fred and George but similar enough. I wasn't sure if giving them a catchphrase in such a short story would really work out - but I'm thrilled it did. I dunno, I liked hte evolution of circumstances in which they'd say it. THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT! :D

It makes me so happy this was an enjoyable read. I cranked it out kind of fast in an evening. It's a relief that they were well developed given the short story. I just wanted this to show moments of solidarity culminating in an ultimate moment of togetherness for them.

thank you for a spectacular review!

-Rose


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Review #2, by Beeezie Together

9th July 2014:
Oooh. I remember making the banner for this and thinking that it sounded super interesting and that I should make a note to read it when I got a chance. I'm glad this decree gives me an excuse!

I love the way you use repetition here in such very, very different contexts. It really showed a lot of sides to Gideon and Fabian while keeping their relationship with each other relatively consistent and intact, and I loved that. I also loved what you showed of their relationship with their sister Molly - from it, I could really see the depths of her grief after they die and how hard it is for her to adjust. She might not have known it for sure - though I wouldn't put it past a Death Eater to mock her with it - but in a lot of ways, they really did die for her. They died for the cause, too, of course - but right then? It was out of love for their sister.

And that was heartbreaking and beautiful to me.

House Cup 2014 - Ravenclaw

Educational Decree #5

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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 Together

9th July 2014:
Hi Rose!

I absolutely loved this story. Everyone always views Gideon and Fabian to be just like Fred and George, but you made their relationship so much deeper. They had silly times, serious time and sad times, but through it all, it was always the two of them. They had each other. I loved the moments that you chose to show - revealing bits of Molly's early life with Arthur and her boys. Those are moments that we rarely get to see. This was such a great story, I laughed, teared up and smiled at different points - at it was all within fifteen hundred words too! I also liked to see that they had a few moments with their (sort-of) namesakes - always love a good bit of little Fred and George!

House Cup 2014 Review
Educational Decree #5

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Review #4, by patronus_charm Together

9th July 2014:
Hey Rose!

No, no, no, no stop breaking my heart Rose I won’t allow it any more as it’s just too sad and I can’t deal with any more sadness I think it was the way Fabian and Gideon just worked together throughout and just knew each other inside out which is what did it for me as they were so close and were just clearly more than twins that in a way it was good they were together until the very end (loved the use of that!) so they were never separated because living on without the other would have been so sad, but then also it means no more of them. Wah, the comment about Molly being chubby was horrible though and I wanted to throw things then, because again so sad, but this silly task means I can’t read anything happy now so I’ll just drown in the sadness of it all!

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review & Educational Decree #5

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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter Together

3rd July 2014:
Hi, Rose!

When I read the summary for this I was really excited to read it, I love minor character stories and this is only the second I've ever read about Gideon and Fabien. I always imagined them to be similar in their personalities to Fred and George so the opening sentence immediately had me hooked.

I really love all of the characters and their interactions throughout this. Their mother telling them off reminded me so much of Molly, and I was all 'Oh, so THAT'S where Molly got it from' and then I realised it might not be because this is fanfiction (but that's totally a good reflection on your writing!) McGonagall was perfect, and I just adored that whole scene. It showed that although the boys are twins, they still have their own personalities- Fabian obviously being slightly more studious.

Their relationship with each other is just totally perfect. I think it could have been really easy for you to make them carbon copies of Fred and George, finishing each other's sentences and the like, but I'm really glad you didn't. It was lovely to see the way they grew with each other through the story in their interactions with different people, with Molly and their mum as youngsters, with their peers and teachers at school, and then as Uncles in adulthood (I think that was my favourite part!)

The ending was perfect. I mean, totally heartbreaking and killed my feels, but perfect nonetheless. A really great read, Rose. Thanls for requesting!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Dee!!!

I've peppered F&G in a few other fics but never as the MCs. They were a fun challenge to write. I did try to make them kind of similar to Fred and George (I lifted the snowball idea from them in the first book even).

Ah! I'm so glad you liked their mum and the other characterizations. I did use Molly as a mother to base their mother on. I loved writing McGonagall in this. I'm so happy their differences from one another stood out as important. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle of exactly the same in every way to not the same at all.

It means so much to me that their relationship came through strong throughout this. I was worried that it wasn't deep enough/was too shallow. I wanted them to be quite similar to Fred and George but with their own quirks. ha, yeah, I love hte idea of Fred and George learning from not just knowing their uncles but hearing about them after they died.

Yay for heartbreaking!! I plan on one day writing a story about Molly dealing with their deaths which should also be full of sad feels.

Thank you so much for an awesome review and for volunteering to look at people's stuff!

-Rose


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Review #6, by kenpo Together

28th June 2014:
OH GOD. I READ THIS LAST NIGHT (or a few nights ago?) AND IT MADE ME SO SAD, AND THEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT.

Deep breaths. Okay. This was a shocker. I forgot about this.

One thing. I think that Accio might not be the best spell there. Wouldn't you use expelliarmus?

Really, though... I don't much to say other than WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? You enjoy it. I know that you do. When they're playing with Fred and George... ahals;djfa;lsdjf;saldkjf;oewaijf.

Pretty much all I can say is ;salkdfj;owiejf.

They were giving them pointers in misbehaving!!!

Ugh. People always post that thing about how the boggart turned into Fred and George dead TOGETHER, because she couldn't even imagine them separated, and she was probably picturing her brothers, wasn't she? They at least died together AND NOW I HAVE FRED FEELS, THANK YOU SO MUCH, ROSE.

I seriously don't understand how I managed to forget about this. That's what happens when I read fics in the middle of the night. (It's 3am... I guess I don't consider that the middle of the night...? I probably read this at like 8am, which is morning to normal people, but my middle of the night).

I've been noticing since I've been reading your stuff that you're always improving. You've always been totttallalallly fab, but things like your sentence structure and grammar have improved so much!

At the end, you say "Fabien went to open his mouth", and "went to open" just didn't fit very well into the rest of it, you know? You might want to see about making that fit in a bit better with the rest of the narrative.

Such a great, touching story, Rose. I'm a little bit happy that it doesn't count, because it would send me down one more step in the rankings.

OKAY AND I LOVE THAT YOU ENDED IT WITH HIM SMILING.

Sorry. I can't write a review right now. You'll have to make this one suffice.

You're fantastic. I'll keep fangirling over PM.

-Georgia

Author's Response: I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT YOU SO HARD WITH THIS STORY. Okay, I did.

THE FRED FEELS WERE ACCIDENTAL. I just wanted to give people the "aw, they got their rule breaking ways from their uncles" not "OMG THEY ALL DIED - EXCEPT FOR GEORGE." That was unexpected but still quite fun to get. :D

Um, I think I did accio instead of expelliarmus bcause... well, in the books disarming does a random assortment of things (blasts their wands away, causes it to fly towards the caser, pushes the people back, etc.) and I just wanted their mum to get the wands. I think with more experienced wizards, they'd have to use expelliarmus but with a kid accio might work just as well.

Ooh, yeah, I saw the boggart thing the other day (it made me cry a bit). I do think Molly saw a lot of her brothers in Fred and George (which could be why she wasn't *too* hard on them as kids).

!!I'm always happy to hear that my technical skillz are improving. I dunno if it'll sound big-headed but I've always thought I was a good story teller with not so great technical skills. *hug* Thanks for pointing that out.

I'll have to check out the went to open his mouth bit, it's not ringing any bells at the moment.

ha, your stories did quite well on their own. I'm not usually one to win competitions anyway. :)

I thought the smile at the end would inject some warm feelings into a rather sad scene.

Thank you for such an awesome fangirling review!!

-Rose


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Review #7, by greenbubble Together

27th June 2014:
Hello toomanycurls! I'm glad that we had the chance to do this review swap because I very much enjoyed reading your House Cup entry. I think that the friendship between Fabien and Gideon was very well executed and in some areas, pretty much faultless.


In the first scene where they were trying to barrage Molly with the snowballs, I quite liked how they had a sort of 'pre talk' where the phrase 'Until the end' came up. It is a nice use of repetition throughout the story which adds a meaning of friendship lasting for enternity which was part of the prompt.


The only thing that I would suggest for that section is to try and include slightly more detail on what the mum did when she told Fabian and Gideon off. It all seemed a little rushed to me the way she suddenly came out, took their broomsticks and told them to come in without a word. Are Fabien and Gideon OCs?


I also like your quick change of scenes from the bit where the mum had just told them off to the Quidditch Match: Gryffindor Vs. Slytherin. The opening sentence was really quite simple but very fluent and effective. As I said before, I really like your use of repetition in 'Until the end' . You have used the prompt well and your friendship clearly shines through the plot. I sort of think that the scenes show that you are not only friends for a few hours but you are friends for life.


Another thing I wanted to point out is that you have used 'Gideon teased' twice without a large gap between. If you would like another option, you could change it to 'tormented'. It is up to you of course.


One of the best scenes in the one shot is the last scene because they stick together no matter what even when they are in trouble. They do everything together and if one of them is in trouble then the other one is in trouble.


I like the 'faint smile' in the last sentence because it is almost as if Fabian is finding a candle in a dark space. I just wanted to put that in before I said goodbye :P.

I loved reading this and good luck in the House Cup!


- Emma

Author's Response: Hi Emma!

I'm so glad you liked the friendship between Fabian and Gideon. :)

Their snowball bit was kind of fun to write. It reminded me a bit of Fred and George which is why I put it in there. Their catch phrase for this was important to set up early (to me at least).

Fabian and Gideon are canon characters - they're Molly's brothers mentioned in OotP as part of the first Order of the Phoenix and again in HBP when Molly gives Harry Fabian's watch. According to Moody they 'fought like heroes' against the death eaters before they died (which is what inspired the last scene for this). I'm not sure why a rushed scene would make you think they're OCs though.

The point of this was to show their solidarity - I'm glad that showed through their various scenes. They're brothers so some of that was from growing up together but it's also because they're quite close.

Thanks for such a nice review! Your feedback has given me a bit to think about.
-Rose


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Review #8, by Infinityx Together

26th June 2014:
Hey Rose, here for our swap. I'm sitting at work and trying to keep a poker face but I'm so close to tearing up. The way they started off at kids and were literally together till the end. The feels. I just can't. :'(

Their antics were so cute and helped in building up the tragic ending. Minerva's just epic. I can imagine her crisp tone cutting through the cold air. Haha, aeronautic duelling club. That totally seems like something she'd say! You're just brilliant, Rose!

Ooh, the Prewett brothers taking the Weasley twins as their protégées. That was a wonderful touch. Maybe the mischief gene has been passed down generations of twins! :D

I knew they were going to die, but that didn't make the ending any less powerful. You've given such a fullness to their characters. They love mischief and fun, but they also have a sense of responsibility and love their family. That made them even more endearing and their fate heartbreaking.

Great job with the one shot! I'm going to go cry in the bathroom.

Author's Response: I'm sorry (kind of) for making you fall in a puddle of feels! I've been wanting to write about them for a while and this prompt just gave me a plunny for it.

:D I'm so glad you liked their mischevious antics. haha, Minerva's cameo was fun to write. I couldn't have her not yell at them for rule breaking.

Once I figured out people's ages for this story, I realized that there had to be some Prewett/Weasley bonding over the fine art of troublemaking.

It really means a lot that I was able to give them enough character to make their deaths meaningful. i'm glad that their family bond came through as well - I didn't want to be too overhanded wth that but it was important to me that it be there.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #9, by 800 words of heaven Together

25th June 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Wah! I love Fabian and Gideon stories, but I avoid reading them for the same reason I avoid reading Fred and George ones: THE TEARS MY HEART IS BLEEDING.

I love the way you've written this, showing their tight bond over the years. They always seem to do everything together, and obviously mischief and madness are on top of the list! I felt sorry for poor Molly; she must have had an eventful childhood with two elder brothers like that!

McGonagall's cameo was just perfect, especially her comment on joining the English aeronautical duelling club. Now I want to write a fic about it...

That scene with Fred and George was just heartbreaking. You know what's coming for both pairs, but it reminds you that there's good in the world, as well as bad.

Lovely story! I'd say go Ravenclaw, but that would make things awkward :P

Author's Response: I'M SORRY FOR YOUR BLEEDING AND CRYING HEART - except that I wrote this just to be sad... all you people left such sad stories in the queue that I had to come back with my own.

Ah! I'm so happy that i managed to show their closeness and fraternal bond. It was tough to give them such breadth with a word limit like the one we had. If I had more space, Iw ould have shown Molly holding her own with them. I don't think they were just torture for her but she eventually got to be theier equal (a bit like Ginny wtih all her brothers).

If you write a fic about that - I'll definitely read it!!

In my head, I like them spending time with Fred and George - for the irony and sadness as well as the idea of them passing along their ways.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!! haha, it's okay to be awkward with the house cheers. :P

-Rose


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Review #10, by Lululuna Together

24th June 2014:
Hi Rose! Ah, I was so torn between this and the next chapter of TR but as this is shiny and new I just couldn't resist. And I'm so glad I read this - all the lovely feels! :(

The spirit you wrote with Fabian and Gideon was so perfect and brotherly. I loved how the title was tied in throughout the anecdotes in the story, and how it helped unite the brothers as a catch phrase they used as well as add the poignant and meaningful use of the last line. Their mischief came through so well here, though I also liked how there were some differences like Fabian being a prefect and perhaps Gideon being a bit more reckless.

McGonagall's sass was hilarious - I loved how she said "aeronautic dueling club." and was so hard on the Gryffindors.

One theme which I really liked through the story was the brothers' relationship with Molly and how they teased her and had fun with her, but ultimately protecting her is their first priority, whether from rude comments or from Death Eaters. The strength of their love for their sister was amazing to read and their unity in protecting her was one of my favourite aspects of the story.

And how they got to play with Fred and George and teach them about being mischievous! I never imagined that happening, but I love that it did before the uncles died.

There was some really great unity throughout the anecdotes, especially how most of them began with Fabian and Gideon hiding or being apart from other people and talking to just each other. It showed their bond and rapport very well and made the story flow smoothly.

Great job, Rose - I knew how this was going to end, and so was heartbroken throughout as I knew what the end was going to be, but I absolutely loved it and how you wrote the characters! :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad you picked this! Just because it's new and shiny and needed love.

This story kind of just hit me and I had to write it - I did struggle with writing Fabian and Gideon in a way that didn't just seem like Pre-Fred&George twins because that was tempting. I wish I had more words because I would have spaced out their catch phrase a little more. I'm so glad you liked their characterizations - I had to make them not quite the same so that they'd stand on their own (and again, not just be like Fred and George).

:D I worried about that line and whether it sounded too muggle. Though, I could see her coming out with quick wit like that.

*squee* I wanted to have Molly at least relevant to all their little scenes, even if only in name. In the books she seemed to have been close to them and I wanted to show that in some way without bogging down the story with their narrative. I do want to make the ending a bit stronger and clear that they were making a choice to go out fighting rather than let Molly be in danger. I'm not sure that was clear.

I've been making a spreadsheet of people's ages and when they died. Fred and George were almost 3 when they died (so maybe I fudged a little in their maturity here). Fabian and Gideon definitely had a long time to influence Bill, Charlie, and Percy though (Bill was 11 when they died).

!! I'm glad you noticed and liked the hiding/talking theme. I mean, I was worried that it'd be too repetitive or uncreative.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this review! Thank you so much for taking a break from TR to read this!

-Rose


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