180 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roisin A Night of Discoveries

16th March 2015:
I know I've said some variation of this a thousand times already, but I love that Annett isn't actually /awkward./ Like, she has a combination of traits many might equate with social awkwardness, but she's generally more graceful than those around her. I think it has to do with the fact that she cares less about social convention. She's clearly witty and all, and she also has enough weird distance to remain unaffected. I mean, she's delightfully weird, to be sure, but doesn't conform to a preexisting stereotype.

So you finally explained why Mrs. Norris is still around! That never bothered me before actually--I mean, like you said, wizards live for upwards of 1.5 centuries, so a cat in its 30s isn't that odd. I liked the whimsy of it, and I continue to love Annett's relationship with her.

As for how Annett will fare--I'm sure she'll be fine, considering there's 19 chapters left!

xoxo

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Review #2, by Roisin Exploring Hormonal Minds

16th March 2015:
Backedy back! I hate having taken SUCH a long break from this story, I'm glad to have time to continue with it now!

It's so exciting to see someone else nerd out about the science of magic :D Like, applying Law of Conservation of Mass to vanishing charms really made my day! It's even supported by canon! "Vanished objects go into non-being, which is to say, everything." That's closer to the new age Theory of Soul, but that in itself was inspired by a weird union of physics and Eastern thought.

Also, I really have to commend you again on your way with science metaphors. Your analogy between human relationships and covalent bonding was just GENIUS. Ah! I mean, everyone has a narrative of self, and I just LOVE that Annett's narrative uses the language and concepts of science. It also works really well!

Bahahahahahaha--I just LOVE they way Al and Annett flirt by *talking about Al.* That was SO original and cute and inspired!

And ooh, you have so much going on with this story! I want to know how she knows Mr. Malfoy, and also her theories about the Dittany!

I love your description of setting up the Diwali celebration! Especially the bit about randomly placing bindis! My sister is half Indian, and she's TOTALLY a random bindi placer :)

OH MY GOD 'OSCULATING!' That is AMAZING. BECAUSE IT'S THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE ORDER OF CONTACT. OH MY GOD YOU GENIUS, YOU! I have seriously never heard anything as apt or clever as that EVER.

This story is so amazing!

xoxo
Roisin

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Review #3, by Pigsfly Developmental Revelations

15th March 2015:
Does Annette have Autism Spectrum Disorder?

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Review #4, by TreacleTart Exploring Hormonal Minds

1st March 2015:
Hey Em,

Back for another chapter for your requested review!

Woohoo! Al finally attempted to make a move at Annett, even though he sort of back tracked when he said they could go as friends! I love that his siblings sort of threw him under the bus in front of her. Now he's going to be forced to deal with his feelings. :)

There were several things that I especially liked in this chapter.

I thought your comparison of human relationships to atoms was spot on.

My favorite line was when Annett is talking about goji berries in comparison to dinosaurs and says "They just don't move because they're very shy." I died laughing at that.

I also really liked the lead up to the Diwali celebration and how you let it evolve from his small event to something of a grand scale! Way to tie older characters back into the story.

I'm hoping to have time for another chapter or two tonight since I can't wait to see what happens with Annett and Al!

~Kaitlin

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Review #5, by TreacleTart Satisfying Humiliation

1st March 2015:
Hi there Em,

Here's my next review from your requested review!

Wow! This story is so detailed and complex. The different layers that you've created with Annett's character are fantastic. I can't believe how much detail you manage to pack into each chapter.

I was a bit nervous reading this particular chapter because it deals with the prank Annett is planning to pull on Arden Yang. I've been feeling pretty sorry for him for the last few chapters and I have to say this one is no different. In fact, reading all of the detail and planning that went into his humiliation makes me feel like Annett is quite malicious.

That being said, the description of the prank was well written. The intricacy with which it was planned was amazing and the idea that that many people managed to keep it a secret was surprising.

I did find a few typos...

You wrote "playing the mysterious chick he perceives me to me." I'm guessing you meant "perceives me to be."

You wrote "Probably noticing he was getting kissed back-he opens his eyes." I think you meant "wasn't getting kissed back."

You wrote "The toad croaks one cue." I'm assuming it was supposed to be "on cue"

Also, I noticed a few issues with the switching of tenses during the scene in the tea shop, specifically at the end of it.

Otherwise, another good chapter. I'm off to read another right now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #6, by TreacleTart Misattribution

27th February 2015:
Hello! Hello!

I'm back to review your next chapter for your requested review!

Let me start by saying that you really do well writing Annett's thoughts. In a lot of novels that I've read, people tend to break character in the telling of their stories. Not you though. You write like Annett the whole way through.

The humour in this is somewhat dry, but I like that. It doesn't always need to slap you in the face. Plus, I find it to be particularly fitting with Annett.

I thought your characterization of Cunningham was brilliant. I find her unwillingness to think outside of the box incredibly frustrating and the fact that she would threaten Annett even more intolerable. Maybe instead of telling Annett that she basically finds her stupid in front of the entire class, she should ask Annett why she feels the need to add science to magic. I have a theory about her. I think she's afraid because Annett is more intelligent than her. She doesn't comprehend the things Annett is writing about, so in retaliation she treats her badly.

The scenes between Yang and Annett seem very natural considering how Annett has planned every single aspect of them. Poor Yang doesn't seem to know what's hit him.

I did notice two small mistakes...

In one spot you wrote "Any thoughts he had flies away". I think this should say "any thoughts he had fly away."

In another section you wrote "Instead, he breathing kept its pace" I assume you meant "his breathing"

Otherwise, another solid chapter in a very interesting story! Part of me can't wait to see what Annett has in store for Hogsmeade and part of me doesn't want to know because I feel sympathy for Yang. I'm also wondering if anyone will figure out that she's the Incog Imp or if Al will ever speak up about his feelings for her...although after all of the trouble she's going through to embarass Yang, I'm not sure if I would.

~Kaitlin

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Review #7, by TreacleTart Creative Output: Mischief

22nd February 2015:
Hi Em,

Another solid chapter.

It was nice to get to see a bit more of some of the canon characters. The interaction between Scorpius and Rose was cute. I felt like James was exactly who I imagined him to be...handsome, clever, and mischievous.

The dynamic between Al and Annett is interesting. He seems to be less excited about this prank than everyone else. Am I sensing a bit of jealousy on his part?

I'm starting to feel kind of bad for Yang. Unless I missed something, he just wants to ask her out, so I'm not really sure I understand why Annett is so intent on humiliating him, particularly in front of the entire school. To me that seems very mean spirited and borderline cruel.

Otherwise, I find this story to be very unique. Looking forward to reading more.

~Kaitlin

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Review #8, by TreacleTart Yang’s Audacity

21st February 2015:
Hello again Em,

3 chapters down and the story is really starting to pick up. I'm loving the character that you've built Annett to be. She is clever, but without having to prove it to everyone all of the time. I really found myself relating to her in this chapter because I am frequently told how intimidating I am, even when I haven't spoken to the person. I like that Annett is able to laugh it off.

It's genius to have Annett in on all of the bets and I can't wait for the moment where Yang finally asks her out. I can only imagine how she's going to handle it.

I did notice a few little grammar things throughout the chapter.

In one sentence you wrote "I had a couple inklings as to what causes him to appear like this on a couple of occasions" The sentence structure seems really odd to me and the switch from past to present kind of throws me.

During Annett's observation of AL she says "possible case of a bit of insomnia". It seems over complicated. I think "possible case of insomnia" seems smoother.

In the middle of the story it says "To note, the Thomas family and the Finnegan family are cousins, having both mothers be Patils." I thought this was a bit out of place, almost as if you might as well have put an asterisk next to it saying author's note.

Also, you mention Hugo's arm being in a cast, but I remember them being able to heal bones with the wave of a wand in the HP series. Is this something you've purposely changed? If so, why?

In the last paragraph you say " His prize was humiliation by secretly vindictive Austrian-German Slytherin." It should reaad "His prize was humiliation by one secretly vindictive."

Next, I would like to point out my absolute favorite line in this chapter. "The general population of Hogwarts may not know me very well, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know the general population of Hogwarts very well." This made me relate even further to Annett and got me excited about continuing this story!

I'm hoping to get to a chapter or two a day from here on out. I'm really looking forward to reading more of this soon.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Again, I must apologise sincerely for not replying in a very timely fashion. School got in the way. And you've left such amazing reviews, too!

I love that you were able to Annett. That is amazing. It makes me incredibly happy for you to say so. :D I am also thrilled to hear that you are still liking the story thus far.

Oh dear, when Yang asks her out. . . I hope that does not disappoint.

Many, many thanks for your sharp eye for my mistakes. My goodness, you're spectacular. Thank you!

Annett, being who she is, is quite a big fan of side notes. She does have the occasional mental tangent every so often because that is how her mind works. Because that is how her mind works, that becomes how the story is written. I wanted it to be as authentic as possible.

Bahaha! That's wonderful that you like that line and even more so that it made you relate to Annett some more. You're so sweet! I'm excited that you're excited!

Thank you for this fantastic and helpful review and many, many apologies again,
Em


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Review #9, by TreacleTart Achieving Equilibrium: The Prologue Continued

21st February 2015:
Hey Em,

First let me apologize for the delay between my reviews for chapter 1 and chapter 2. Work got in the way. :/

So down to business, I found this chapter to be really thought provoking. I loved the section with all of the different questions that Annett is pondering. It made me really think about how I view the different characters. Kudos for that.

I also felt that this chapter helped me to understand Annett a little bit better. In the first chapter I mentioned that she came off a bit condescending, but in this chapter that tone seems to have disappeared. I guess I find her a bit easier to relate to in this one. I also enjoy the fact that she's an introvert because usually main characters are extroverts. This is a nice change.

I did notice a few grammar issues.

In one place you said "such copious company". I think it should say "such copious amounts of company."

In a different section is said "sending shrapnels of wood flying." Shrapnel is already plural so you don't need to add the s. I think it could be fixed by changing it to "sending wooden shrapnel flying" or "Sending shards of wood flying."

I also noticed some areas where some of the sentences were structured in an awkward manner. I can see that you are trying to mix up how you start your sentences so it doesn't get too redundant, but just be careful not to over complicate them. A sentence that I feel demonstrates this was "Although given copious amounts of homework by Professor Amelio, I could maintain my position with ease as well as gaining a status as his favourite student."

Most of this is just me nit-picking and none of it is horribly detrimental to the story.

Overall, I'm intrigued your story, particularly your main character. I can't wait to see how you build her.

Looking forward to reading more soon!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!!

I am sorry that it's taking me a while to respond to your reviews! School is getting quite hectic.

And there is no need to apologise for anything on your part. I completely understand and totally respect that you can take this at whatever pace you like. You are so kind enough to review in the first place!

Wow! Thank you so much!! That means a lot to me that you find it thought-provoking. :D You're too sweet.

That's amazing to hear you think so about the tone. I guess this is her opening up to readers a bit more. Here we have Annett finding a state of comfort within this unfamiliar world she was shoved into in such a rush--achieving equilibrium, if you will. There is also her growing up from 11 years old to 16 within the entire chapter, so she might be losing that bit of childish egotism. Plus, we have her completely in her element--alone and learning.

It makes me super happy that you enjoy her introvertedness because one of the main reasons I created Annett was because I hadn't seen too many stories in which the protagonist is an introvert at that time.

Oh, Kaitlin, you are AMAZING!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for that. I have fixed them! :D I really, truly appreciate your reviews!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #10, by TreacleTart Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

18th February 2015:
Hi There New Friend,

I'm here with the review you requested on the forums!

I'll start by saying that I thought that the opening of the chapter was very clever. It wasn't what I was expecting, so it drew me in quite quickly. I particularly enjoyed the part where you explained the symptoms of Annett's magic as a child.

This chapter covered quite a few different and very important events; receiving a Hogwarts letter, meeting Teddy, going to Diagon Alley, the train to Hogwarts, and the Sorting. It was all well-written, but it did seem a bit rushed. For example, the part where Annett meets Teddy seemed particularly hurried. I would suggest adding more detail to the scenes where crucial things are happening.

Your characterization of Annett was unusual, but in a way that made me curious to read more. She seems very intellectual, but also kind of condescending at the same time. I feel like the voice you've given her is authentic to a girl who has been raised by two incredibly intelligent people and hasn't had much social interaction because she was home schooled.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this story will go. I'll be reviewing a couple more chapters tomorrow!

~TreacleTart

Author's Response: Hi TreacleTart, new friend! :D

I hope you've been enjoying the HPFF forums, so far!

Thank you so, SO much for this review!

I am so glad you enjoyed the beginning, it was very fun to write! As for the other bits, I will try to work on making it seem less rushed. Thank you! :) though, part of that had to do with being in Annett's mind. With her, these things are just happening all so quickly. She's being thrown into this world she only just learnt about and I wanted to reflect a bit of that in the way I wrote it because this is, after all, her internal monologue.

I am glad you think so of Annett. :) I've never intended for her to seem condescending, but reading over, I get what you mean. She can seem intimidating and, in fact, to the majority of her school mates, I suppose she is. That was a novel observation.

Her lack of social interaction does have to do her generally not liking social interactions. Vorarlberg is a relatively isolated place in Austria where the people are very conservative. This is one reason why she was homeschooled. For someone with her scientific background, I don't think she'd find her martial arts and tennis mates very relatable. :) I am thrilled to hear that you are curious to read on, TreacleTart!

Thank you once again for taking the time to review!! :D

Cheers,
Em


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Review #11, by Veritaserum27 Misattribution

24th January 2015:
Hi there Em!

Another fabulous chapter! Ooo! Annett is so completely Slytherin in this chapter. She uses her knowledge of biochemistry to toy with Arden's emotions - and she is flawless in her performance. I can't help but feel a tiny bit bad for him. I know he deserves it, but I feel like they're sort of ganging up on him (other than Ravenclaw, I'd definitely be sorted into Hufflepuff...)

Yikes - this professor is ancient in her beliefs. I can't help but think that maybe she doesn't like Annett for some other reason. It doesn't seem appropriate for her to threaten to bad mouth Annett to other professors. I'm glad that Annett isn't letting it get to her too much. I don't think she cares about the bad grades (you've already established that grades don't motivate her, learning does). And I was happy to see that she's sticking to her beliefs.

Haha - James has studied the "Incog Imp." I'm wondering if all of those pranks that were signed were in fact done by Annett. It seems odd that she would sign them if she didn't like the name.

Haha - the Room of Requirement is up! I can't wait!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Beth!!

Bahaha! She did! That's Annett's way of flirting for you. Aww, thank you for feeling a bit bad for Arden. Yes, he's a bit of a git, but things right now are so bad for him, what with Annett and her new gang ganging up on him.

Huffleclaw? Ravenpuff? Flying badger? ;)

THERE IS! Although I don't explore that in this story. In the next, perhaps. ;) Beth, you are seeing through all my plot threads. What am I going to do with you, you wonderfully clever thing, you?!

Annett is telling me that her first prank wasn't signed, but after nobody could find the culprit and they gave this mysterious prankster a nickname, she stuck to it, perhaps to prevent Arden from claiming them as his cleverness.

Yay!!

Beth you are tremendously sweet!! THANK YOU! Thank you so much for your kind reviews. I will treasure them.

Hugs and love,
Em


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27 Creative Output: Mischief

24th January 2015:
Hi there Em!

Your writing is so captivating, that I read the chapters so fast.

I like that Annett feels so close to her parents, but I worry that she needs a solid base of peers, at some point in her life. It sounds like this huge prank may just provide that.

Great characterization with James. I love that Annett sees right through him, but doesn't discount his ability to contribute to her cause. She acts with reason, not passion - for now.

Yes! Rose and Scorpius! They are my OTP, as much as I do love a good Al/Scorpius pairing, I feel like Rose and Scorp are classic.

Haha - of course Al has to get a little brotherly abuse from James. I think James may have hit a nerve with Al and he's got a bit of a crush on Annett.

And Ugh! I don't know who is more disappointed with the first Alchemy lesson - me or Annett. However, the optimistic side of me sees this as an amazing opportunity for Annett to contribute to the magical world with her insights and bring the entire field of Alchemy into the 21st century! But she's got to get past her Hogwarts years first.

Great job with this story - I'll be back for more later!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Ah! Beth!

Yet another review that is SO hard to respond to! How can I thank you enough for all your kindness?!

Beth, your analyses of Annett make me smile. You know her so well! And that makes me so happy!

'reason not with passion - for now.' BAHAHA! Goodness. You're hilarious! I adore you.

They're irresistible, aren't they. ESPECIALLY in a certain story called 'Actions Speak Louder Than Words.' Have you read that one? It's beyond spectacular. ;)

Al? Annett? Crush? Hmm. . . Not Arden? :P

Goodness, Beth. You may just as well know Annett better than I! That's remarkably accurate, not to mention, only mentioned after many chapters after this one!! You're amazing, truly!

Thank you again, Beth!

Hugs and love,
Em


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Review #13, by Veritaserum27 Yang’s Audacity

24th January 2015:
Hi there Em!

I feel like this is where the real story starts. We get to see a little more of Annett's character here, but we already knew a lot about her. I like that she's friends with Al and Scorpius. Does she have any friends (or acquaintances) that are girls? I also think the way she subtlety notices little things about Al means she might have the very beginning of feelings for him. She doesn't seem to notice small details about the other characters - at least not to the same extent.

Yang sounds like he definitely deserves whatever prank she can dish out. What a truly awful human being. It's great that she sums him up as his only actual skill is writing essays. Haha!

And your genius shows through again - she actually befriends Mrs. Norris to play the pranks on other students. I don't think anyone would ever think to have the annoying cat on their side - that is awesome!

I also love that you don't give us even one little clue about what Annett is planning to do to Arden Yang. I need to know more! I've got to keep reading!!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hello again, Beth!

Hmm. I suppose not really. Oh, but he is friends with Mrs. Norris and Ginkgy. ;) Al and Annett? You think? ;)


BAHAHA! I guess she really had to say that about him. She's so 'practical.' She strongly believes that the practical applications of what is learnt is more important than knowing how to write about it.

EEP! BETH! I turn red every time you type the word 'genius.' Thank you. You are too kind to me. Much too kind. Mrs. Norris is getting old and softening up some. . . Or it's just Annett that she likes. Haha.

I couldn't! You must read it for yourself! No spoilers. ;)

Love,
Em


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Review #14, by Veritaserum27 Achieving Equilibrium: The Prologue Continued

24th January 2015:
Em!

This story is just so genius! I have no idea how your beautiful mind works to come up with this, but you've managed to ask the exact questions that I ask about the relationship between magic and science and humans. I didn't even know I had consciously asked them but when I read them, I was like "Yes! I've wanted to know that too!"

And that room in the library is awesome - I can imagine that Hemione would've loved to know it was there.

I love the character of Annett you've created. She's such an amazing, unassuming and unexpected heroine. I love that she learns for the thrill of knowledge and doesn't fuss herself over grades - something that is so, so overemphasized in our world.

And Gah! Carbon allotropes! Perhaps she can next try a buckeyball or a nanotube ♥

The whole scene with relating magic to chemistry had me blithering all over the place - out loud to myself (thank goodness no one else is in the room with me right now). It totally reminded me of how chemistry started - alchemy and trying to turn lead into gold - and Annett can do that!

Ooo! Great ending - it really sets up the next chapter nicely!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Beth!

I am so sorry it took be so long to respond. Your review just gave me so many gushy and warm feelings that it couldn't be helped. :(

AHH! THANK YOU!! [tackle hug] oh, how those questions have plagued my mind! Maybe we can theorise together?

She really would!

I am thrilled to hear that you like Annett! She's so fun to write. And you describe her so accurately.

MAYBE!!

You nerded out! That's amazing!! BAHAHA! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Beth! You are so sweet!

Love,
Em


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Review #15, by missatron Yang’s Audacity

19th January 2015:
Hi Em!

I'm back again from the review thread, and I'm so excited for this chapter.

I haven't stopped loving Annett's character in my absence. She continues to amuse me and entertain me throughout the chapter. She really has a unique personality. I do wonder how you came up with the idea for her. I was so glad that you added in some dialogue! It really worked. The interaction between Al and Annett was just perfect. You really did nail it. Well done.

Annett and Mrs Norris' friendship is comical. It really is. I love the quote - "she's in it to scare the students."

It's actually quite strange to see Annett in sixth year. Time has flown in just two chapters.

Some grammar errors I noticed: (I don't know whether I pointed this out in another review or not, but just to be safe, I'll tell you them now.)

You put:

"Excuse me, sorry" I apologised.

You always need to put a piece of punctuation before the last speech mark. So it should look like this:

"Excuse me, sorry," I apologised.

I hope that was clear. Sometimes my instructions aren't as clear as I'd like them to be.

I continue to love this story. Feel free to re request,

Missy

Author's Response: Hi Missy!

Thank you so much! How did I come up with her? Hmm. . . Well, I did want to make her different and strange. I have always wondered what a homeschooled child of a scientist would be like if she found out that she was a witch. . . and then I added her funny quirks, her extreme introvertedness, and extremely scientific way of viewing the world, and little Annett grew from there.

Yes! Dialogue! I promise there will be more in coming chapters because she's finally interacting with other people now, which means that she's talking to others, which means that there will be more dialogue! :D

Bahaha! I'm so glad you like her and Mrs. Norris's partnership. I figured as Mrs. Norris grew older, she may have grown a little bit softer and maybe their similar personalities made the compatible partners/friends.

Thank you so much for pointing out that punctuation error! I have gone and fixed it. :) And no, you haven't said so, but I usually don't miss them, but this one got past me, but not you! Thank you!

I will re-request, thank you!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #16, by missatron Achieving Equilibrium: The Prologue Continued

14th January 2015:
Hi again, Em. Dropping by for your requested review. Sorry for the delay, but the way - I was busy up until now.

Your writing is really refreshing, especially in this chapter. It is almost like taking in a gulp of fresh air. Saying this, Annett is getting stranger and stranger by the minute. She is actually quite creepy in some ways, though I love to read her witty sarcasm and ways. She never seems to be unsure of herself as well.

I know that this story revolves around Annett and her thoughts (at least up until now anyway) but it could be a thought to try and add a bit of speech in. I don't know what's coming up, but I'd really love to see how Annett acts around other characters (as in speech wise). It would really add something to the story.

Your flow really seems to have improved a great deal in this chapter, along with a lot of other things. This story is developing into something very interesting. As is Annett.

I'm really, really enjoying this, so please re request! It really is great!

Missy

Author's Response: Hey Missy,

No worries. :) I really appreciate you taking the time to read an review anyways!!

I think you've described Annett beautifully, there. Thank you for that! She is certainly strange, almost creepy, and very sure of herself.

That's precisely what happens in the next chapters, actually. It was a little hard to integrate too much speech as we fast-forward through so many years of her life where she, herself, refuses to participate in much dialogue, but in the next chapter . . . ;)

Again, I am so relieved that you find that this flows okay. Initially, it was so jumpy and rigid and THANK YOU!

Aww thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear that. You're too sweet!

Yes, definitely, totally!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #17, by Rumpelstiltskin Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

13th January 2015:
Hey there! I'm here for the January Slytherin review exchange!

I really just love the beginning of this. The originality is really just refreshing. I love the angle of her parents being scientists, and being utterly perplexed by Annett's special abilities. Her personality is also fantastic, due to her upbringing.

Teddy on the Welcoming Committee was refreshing to see, as well. I think that, with the personality that you've given him, being a part of the Welcoming Committee is a fantastic position for him.

Oh, the Wotter clan... that's a clever moniker ;). Poor Annett, being an introvert certainly doesn't help when under the speculation of said Wotter clan. I loved the way you set up the anticipation of the group of Potter-Weasley's finding the compartment that Annett and Scorpius were in. The sense of anticipation was fantastic.

You tied the mention of Daisy and Dahlia at the beginning of the story in nicely, as Annett discovers them on the train. And, goodness, those girls are noisy.

I think that Slytherin was a good choice for her -- I had an inkling that she'd be in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin -- and I liked that Albus is there with Scorpius and herself.

To be honest, I tend to shy away from Next Generation still, but this is absolutely fantastic. Between the quality of the writing, the interesting main character, and a story that has made me laugh out loud more than once, I think you have something great going on here. I can't wait to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel!

D'Awww, thank you!! Thank means so much to me that you think that of Annett! Bahh, you spoil me with your compliments.

I'm super happy to see that you like Teddy! He's so fun to write.

The Wotter clan. . . Wot a clan. I'm expecting absolute silence for this terrible pun.

The train scene. Oh dear, I wrote that in a mad rage of typing one day. And Dahlia and Daisy seemed like a good way to really bring out Annett's personality.

Ah they'll be a very Slytherin little bunch!

Aww, THANK YOU SO MUCH, RUMPEL! You're too kind!!! :D [hugs]

Cheers,
Em


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Review #18, by MadiMalfoy Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

13th January 2015:
Hiya! Here with your requested review! :)

Eep yay my thread has just been hit with obscure character and original character stories and I just love it! But you know what I love more? SCIENCE. I seriously just added this to my reading list because SCIENCE. I have yet to read basically any book where the main character was interested/invested in science, let alone a girl! I'm so very happy you've written this fic!

Putting my fangirling aside, your concerns were about flow, characterization, humor, and level of interest. I'll hit them in that order! :) As far as plot goes, I really quite enjoy it already! There's not many fics out there that focus on a muggleborn's adjustment to going to a magical school and how it would affect their personalities and entire lives. It has a great interest level just for that aspect, in my opinion! You move it along at a pace where we're still able to gather information about your OC and her family while her life advances until she's eleven. At first, I was unsure of the era (because I forgot to read it oops) when Annett read "Mr. Lupin" I thought it was Lupin as in Remus, not Teddy, but I'm glad it was Teddy because it makes a lot more sense :P I'm glad you used the settings you did--the train ride, the sorting ceremony, and the brief time before bed--because those can all be really mind-blowing for a muggle-born to see for the first time ever.

As far as characterization goes, I think you've done a splendid job so far! With as many characters as you're throwing in, I'm proud of you for just managing to juggle everyone and remember whose talking and where they're at in each scene, so kudos for you on that! I think it's quite humorous so far, and I tend to have a very sarcastic/dry sense of humour, so don't worry about that part at all. The Wotters just naturally have a sort of humor about them, simply because there's so many of them and they always seem to be together! So in conclusion, I would definitely read on and find out how Annett deals with realizing she has magic and goes to a magic school and how she comes to terms with all that is implicated with that. Great job, please feel free to re-request anytime! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi Madi!

Thank you so much for this review [hug]. You're so sweet!

AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT YOU LOVE SCIENCE BECAUSE, as you might have figured, I LOVE SCIENCE, TOO! DOES THAT MAKE US BEST BUDDIES, NOW? Although, I may have stalked your profile and read that you like science and that may have been why I requested a review specifically from you, but you. . . ahem. . . you didn't read that. ;)

Phew! and YAY! I so glad that you think it all worked out. Wow, again, thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review. The flow was what I had trouble with most before some serious editing, I'm thrilled to hear that it's better now. That may be precisely why I chose those settings, actually. Haha. This chapter was certainly an exploration on some kind of logical/more realistic Muggle reactions to the peculiarities of the Wizarding World. It's super bizarre and foreign so I really tried to show that.

Eep! Thank you! That one I tried to accomplish by mentally playing out the scene. And I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY because my biggest worry is that it may only be funny in my head. Plus, making readers laugh is my ultimate goal with most of my writing. :D

Well, if you insist. ;) Thank you again for such a helpful review, you've eased so many worries of mine at the same time. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Madi!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #19, by missatron Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

12th January 2015:
Hello Em! Glad to be reading another of your stories since the last one was so good.

First, I'll start off with your summary. Yes, ok, it wasn't part of the chapter, but still ... I liked it. The "three Ss" worked quite well as a sort-of-catchphrase. The summary was actually really gripping, which made me get excited when I saw the request in the review thread. It's not often that you come by a summary that really lures you in and doesn't let you go so ... That was brilliant! So just going off the summary, I'm pretty excited and think that this could be a great, interesting story.

So far, you have introduced us to Annett, who appears to be the main character. (This might change?) The narrator's voice is actually pretty refreshing to read. Ok, so Annett doesn't come across as the nicest character in the world, but I predict that this is part of your plan. I'd also take a guess that Annett is in Slytherin. It's pretty much implied. I think that it was good how you didn't tell us what house she had been sorted into, but we are 99% sure that it was Slytherin (especially since you told us that she wasn't Gryffindor). Her sarcasm was so well written. I don't know what it is, but I love reading sarcasm. The dryness, and wittiness in her voice was also very well conveyed.

The flow of this is fairly smooth. A lot of the chapter has been written in speech which made the scene go by at a much slower pace. It was consistent though, and that's what matters. There was no uneven parts where one bit was fast and the other was slow, so that's good.

You actually conveyed the element of humour very well. It think that I mentioned that I love the sarcasm of her voice. She seems like a deeply interesting chapter. I wonder what the plot will lead to!

Once again, I have enjoyed reading this. Feel free to re request!

Missy

Author's Response: Hello there, Missy,

Aww, thank you!

Wow. Thank you so much! That's higher praise than I probably deserve and now my ears are red. I'm beyond thrilled to hear that you like the summary! I adore abundant alliteration.

Not at all, Annett will remain the protagonist and the narrator of the entire story (hence the title), so I'm really pleased to hear that you like her voice and that it's refreshing! Phew. Haha, no she most definitely is not nice, Missy. And I'm glad to hear that you liked how I didn't explicitly mention the house, and yes, you're totally correct!! Me too! Sarcasm is fun, isn't it? And again, thank you for all your reassurances and your compliments.

Flow was a major problem before I did some editing, so I'm glad it worked out. Thank you, MIssy!! Interesting and funny is very much my focus with this story. :D I'm super happy to see you think that!

I will certainly rerequest, you've left such a wonderful and helpful review. I really, truly appreciate it!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #20, by bethanex Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

11th January 2015:
This is great! I really like her 'internal monologue' for lack of better terminology. It's lighthearted and effortlessly funny. Even though there isn't much plot in the opening chapter, it's nonetheless entertaining and well-written. I'm looking forward to the rest of this, and I hope you keep requesting reviews.

Author's Response: Dear bethanex,

I am so glad to hear that! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. 'Effortlessly funny,' is exact what I was aiming for so THANK YOU! :D

Cheers,
Em


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Review #21, by Secret Santa Creative Output: Mischief

7th January 2015:
Hello Em :D

I have really enjoyed being your Secret Santa. I think we are revealed today, so I'm afraid this is my final Santa gift. However, I have become so engrossed in the story that I will finish reading it when I have a spare moment, so this is not the last time you shall have my presence forced upon you. And so I hope you had as much fun guessing as I did in my attempts to mislead you.
I think you might have guessed me. I was certainly on that list of three suspects, although I am not 800 words of heaven as you predicted in your final comment.

I felt for Annett here. That would be rather embarrasing to begin with, before her irritation took over. The teacher seems rather self-righteous.

The plan that everyone is making to get Yang is funny to witness. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes.

Santa x

(Evil side? I don't know what you mean... *whistles*)

Author's Response: Hello Bronte,

Well, I really enjoyed having you as a Secret Santa. You're so wonderful and this has been so much fun.

Your presence won't be forced upon me, Bronte, I welcome it with open arms that become a gigantic hug.

Thank you for 'feeling' with Annett. Haha. And yes, Cunningham is a bit stuck in the old ways of magic according to Annett.

Hee Hee. I really hope you like what I have planed.

Thank you again for this review, Bronte! You're so sweet.

I think you know exactly what I mean, Bronte.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #22, by Roisin Satisfying Humiliation

6th January 2015:
Oh my gosh, the image of a girl dressed in absurdly sexy clothes thinking to herself "wolf-whistle of unknown origin" is just AMAZING! I love Anett more and more!

And GAH, that prank! I mean, Yang was kind of cocky and annoying, but GAH! They really went ALL OUT. That sounds properly TRAUMATIC!

Annett with the fangs and everything is just another crazy great image. I can't believe how crazily industrious the whole thing was!

Point of interest: in England, 'pants' means 'underwear'--if you ever edit in the future, you might want to switch the word to 'trousers,' lest readers think he was BUCK NAKED :P

One thing that's continually interesting in this story, is I wonder how different everyone else's perspective of Annett might be from how she sees herself. Without being privvy to her own internal monolog, I wonder how people see her. I suspect Al has a sense of her, as they have rather a lot in common, but we really see in this chapter how she's capable of playing a character. And since she's generally so unassuming in classes (barring her recent outspoken-ness in Alchemy), other people might not have a lot to go on when trying to gauge her. And now that she's done this INSANELY detailed prank, with that outfit to boot, I definitely wonder what people make of her!

Very interesting stuff!

Author's Response: Roisin,

Bahaha! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

That particular moment was me starting to explore the differences in the perception of Annett in comparison to her internal monologue. After so many years of keeping mostly hidden, her we have her sort of in a kind of spotlight.

I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT PRANK!! Arden's personality (his being annoying and awkward) in here made writing about his humiliation much more satisfying, but still, poor guy. Industrious and traumatic! :D That was totally what I was going for!

Oooh. That is such a wonderful point! Thank you for pointing that out! Ahh. [hugs]

GOODNESS, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'LL BE EXPLORING IN THE COMING CHAPTERS!!

Thank you again for this wonderful review!
Em


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Review #23, by Unicorn_Charm Unlocked

4th January 2015:
EM! My dear hpffbff! :)

I don't even know where to begin. This review has taken me longer to write out than any other review I have given. First, I must tell you how much I adored this ending! I just loved it, Em! The fact that Annett finally trusted someone enough to let them in and allow them to help her with Ronan's problem was monumental! It shows that she, mostly, has let her walls down. I'm sure that she still has some of them up, because after years and years of being so closed off, one school year isn't going to completely change her, but she has made amazing progress. This whole story she has evolved and questioned so many things about her life and personality. I don't think I have ever read such character growth in any other story on this site. It was such a wonderful experience to read her thoughts and development.

Al. Oh Al. We've FINALLY learned why he has insomnia!! Honestly, I had NO idea as to why he couldn't sleep. It was driving me absolutely crazy this entire story and I am SO happy that we finally have the answer. And what an answer it was. When I read how he feels and why he suffers from insomnia, I have to admit, I full out fell in love with your Al. To see that he is that passionate and cares that much was just unbelievable. It further shows how Al is the perfect balance for Annett. I really feel like the two of them just fit together perfectly and have the possibility to do extraordinary things together. I'm excited to see what you have planned for the future for your sequels/spin-offs or what have you. :D

The ending of this chapter, well this story, was adorable! "Would you consider saving one of those for me?" AHH!!! *melts* HOW CUTE WAS THAT!?! I want to see the wedding and I want to see it now!! *Looks around for pitchfork*

Em, this story was amazing. I can't say it enough. It was just amazing! The characters were all so full of life, the pranks were hilarious, the scientific elements were completely brilliant and the plot was so, so unique. It had everything; humor, action, mystery, Quidditch and a little bit of romance thrown in. I'm in complete awe of your story telling abilities.

I am so, so, so, SO happy that we did that swap a few months back. I had a chance to read this wonderfully amazing story you have written, but more importantly, made a wonderful friend during that time. You, your writing and your friendship are all utterly fantastic! This will be a story that I know I will re-read many, many times and I can't wait to see what you have planned for the future. Regardless if it takes place in this universe, or is something new and different entirely.

Excellent, amazing, wonderful, fantastic, extraordinary job on this whole thing!! Thank you so much for sharing! ♥

So much love, tea lattes, adult beverage-filled chocolates and many, many hugs!!

Your hpffbff,
Meg ♥ ♥

Author's Response: MEG! Dearest BESTESTHPFFBFF!

I am so sorry! I thought I answered this ages ago!

I MUST thank you so much again for encouraging me and supporting me through the writing of this novel and the writing of more recent stories, Meg! ;) You're such a spectacular friend and your thoughtfulness is unparalleled.

I am super happy you think that! You're giving me all these puddly feelings and [PENGUIN TACKLE HUG]. You're absolutely right in that dear, little Annett has not undergone dramatic changes that completely turn her personality around. I wanted to keep her the same Annett as you saw in the beginning, only more trustful to those closest to her.

I'm going to admit something: I hardly knew either until just before writing this chapter. I knew vaguely what it was, but I didn't know all of the details until then. I am thrilled to hear that you fell in love with Al, I think I did as well, a bit, in the process of writing him. He really is everything you've described him to be.

So much for my Arden/Annett pairing, huh?

Meg, I couldn't control them anymore at this point, I just had to let them be and they were just so adorable and ARGHH! I'm glad I'm not alone in that!

As for the sequels/spin-offs/prequels/'whatever-they-be's. . . [eyebrow waggling].

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HIS REPLY WAS?! That's for another Internal Monologue. I'm trying, I'm trying! The wedding is, at present, not well written, but when I have it, I will let you know. [gulps and looks back and forth from Meg to pitchfork in the corner, hoping Meg doesn't see it]

Similarly, Meg. I am in complete awe of your making-people-smile-and-melt-by-giving-such-lovely-reviews abilities. I really cannot tell you enough that I appreciate all you have done! I absolutely adore you, you BESTESTHPFFBFFSISTER, you!

I am equally happy about that swap! You've come to be one of my closest friends and someone I look up to a lot. For that and for your love, your unquantifiable support, your adorable threats, your never-ending encouragement, your spectacular reviews, your mind-blowing stories, your just being you, THANK YOU! You inspire me to improve my story-telling abilities.

You're welcome and thank YOU for reviewing and sharing your thoughts! They mean so much to me! :D You're the bestest!!

Love from white bunnies, hug tackles from penguins, and serenades from frog jazz bands,
Em


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Review #24, by Maricruz Unlocked

3rd January 2015:
Evening, m'am

I don't normally write reviews, but when I do, it's either le best book I've ever read, or the worst.

Guess which category yours fell in ;)

IT WAS AMAZING AND EURMAHGAWD I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE LIKE ASDFGHJKL

I mean, I love all my Next Gen fiction, but this one stood out. Yours isn't your typical oh my gosh he likes me or I hate him. It's just pure friendship with a little love mixed inside.

Also, a lot of knowledge.

You hardly find that in fanficiton.

SO THAT'S AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND PLZ SENPAI NOTICE ME.

I look forward to the next one *smirks*

-Mari

Author's Response: Bahaha! You're too kind!

Dear Mari,

You can just call me Em. :)

AH! I'M SUPER SUPER HAPPY TO SEE YOU LIKE IT!! YOUR ENTHUSIASM IS RUBBING OFF ON ME, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED!!

I'm so flattered. Thank you so much for your kind, kind words. And, pfft, of course I notice you, you left this amazing review. :D Seriously though, you just hyped me up for many writing sessions to come. Thank you so much for that! I sincerely appreciate that.

It depends on what you find. On the forums, you can find people who write many stories that are much greater than mine, should you ever want to check them out as well. ;)

ME?! SENPAI?! Bahaha! Thank you and I adore you, too!!

Then I better get writing, huh?

Cheers,
Em


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Review #25, by Roisin Misattribution

2nd January 2015:
Back! Sorry for the delay, I got all caught up with New Years, but I'm here now!

Oh man, that whole scene with Yang--MANIPULATING HIS HORMONES. That is SO GENIUS. But the humiliation has yet to occur--oh jeez... I was so worried she would hurt his feelings! I FEEL VERY PROTECTIVE OF YANG.

Hmmm, I might sense a love triangle on the horizon.

If I remember correctly, scientists have been able to turn certain types mercury into gold in a lab--but the mercury is so rare, and the procedure so costly that it isn't really worth it. But, definitely one interesting idea of Modern Alchemy! I can't wait to see where Anett takes her studies :D

I also really liked her ruminations on respect, and what it means to respect a field or a textbook. Very much agreed!

There are so many fascinating threads to this story--I can't wait to see how it all comes together!

(Oh, and the idea that anyone can snort 'attractively' was really funny to me)

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: That's perfectly alright. Same here.

BAHAHA! I'm so glad you like that bit!! Flirting via hormonal manipulation this time? These last couple of chapters have been a preview to Annett Sinclaire Kluge's Guide to Flirting.

Do you now? Or a square perhaps: Annett is flirting with Arden who likes her and once liked Valentina who likes/liked Al who is teased by his family to be crushing on Annett.

Anyway, I'M THRILLED TO HEAR YOU AGREE WITH THE ALCHEMY BIT! Thank you!

I hope to not disappoint you, then.

Haha. Yes it was one of her more sarcastic moments that are always fun to write.

Again, thank you for your wonderful review!
Em


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