198 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Crazy Kid Creative Output: Mischief

25th May 2015:
Hi Em ♥

You didn't think I had forgotten you, did you? The Crazy Kid have just been so busy the last week or so - something very unexpected happened - but hopefully she's going to have more spare time this week. I still intend to review as many of your stories/chapters as I possibly can before the deadline is up. It's still some days left, so I'm sure I can do it if I put my time and effort into it :)

Okay, so I have to admit I have a soft spot for James Potter II. I don't know why, but he's always been my favourite next gen-character. So I loved that we finally got to meet him in this chapter. And I'm already in love with this version of him, so I hope we'll see a lot of more him in the future chapters. But with him helping with the prank, it'll surely go well. And I feel like Annett's probably very good at pranks herself, so with those two working together - also with Roxanne and Fred - this has got to be one of the better pranks Hogwarts has ever seen. I can't wait for it now!

I've said it before, but I have to say it again; what's so amazing with this story is first and foremost the characterisation. You've created a wonderful character in Annett, and she never feels out of character. I like that we learn small, new things about her in every chapter, and that not even her friends know everything about her - like the pranks for example. She's a bit of an oddball - a little out of place at Hogwarts, I suppose, at least in comparison to most people you meet there - but that's what makes her so likeable. She sees things so differently, thinks differently and it ends up giving us a different view on the wizarding world and things that Harry never questions. It's really great.

I just wanted to add quickly that I also loved the chapter image. It's very explainable and beautiful, and I'm jealous of your talent (I'm guessing it's yours, since I didn't see any credit)

Again, a very good chapter, and I really enjoyed it. I can't wait to read the next one, because I want to know how this prank will go. So I'll see you over there soon.

The Crazy Kid ♥

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin Satisfying Humiliation

23rd May 2015:
Oh, my, Em...
I'm rolling with laughter!!!
And I'm feeling so bad about it because, really, poor Arden... But everything was just so amusing!!!

I think this might be the best thought and executed prank I've ever read about! And I really loved all the detailed descriptions you put in here! The fake wedding... Oh, my...

I'm trying and failing to feel sorry for Arden... The poor bloke... A nightmare would've been more pleasant...

Wonderful, wonderful job on this!
Assolutamente splendido!!!
You'll see me again on the next chapter (not saying soon, because I know that would be a lie, but I will be back!)

Tons of hugs and much, much love,

PS. Since you asked... No, I don't think "Amore e abbracci" works too well in italian... maybe something like "Con affetto, un abbraccio"
For some reason we hug only once at a time... Unless it is "Baci e abbracci"...
But I knew what you meant, so don't worry about it! ;)

Author's Response: CHIARA!!

There's excitement that comes with getting reviews from you because you're undeniably sweet! ♥ I am delighted to hear you found this chapter amusing because a constant worry of mine is that it's only funny in my head and nowhere outside of it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Though the characters planned a lot, Em didn't plan very much. Em wrote, things were added on, it wrote more of itself. [snowball hug] :D

It was quite the living nightmare for poor Arden though, wasn't it? I'm not very nice to him. :/

GRAZIE MILLE!! I cannot wait to see you again whether on this story or yours ;) ♥

Con affetto, un abbraccio, ;) (you're an amazing teacher)
Em ♥

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Review #3, by evaleant Unlocked

18th May 2015:
Oh this is so sweet! Dancing again :)
Thank you for writing this story. I immensely enjoyed reading about Annett and I am definitely going to check out your other internal monologue stories!

Author's Response: EVALEANT!!

I figure I'd use dancing some what symbolically: as a sort of sharing/revealing of emotions as that's exactly what it is. Annett's offer, then, can also be taken as an opening up of her to him.

I am super, super happy you've immensely enjoyed this! I've enjoyed writing it and I've enjoyed your enthusiastic reviews just as much! [hugs] See you in another internal monologue, I guess. :D


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Review #4, by evaleant Request Pending

18th May 2015:
LOVE! Albus's reaction at seeing "Annett" on the map where Fufu was! Priceless!

Also, it's perfect how you managed to tie in Ronan's sickness, Annett's science, and Albus's love of healing in one chapter!

Author's Response: EVALEANT!

Aww, thank you so much! I am so glad you liked that!! You make me blush with this perfect business.


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Review #5, by evaleant Developmental Revelations

18th May 2015:
Haha, the idioms in English screwing with Annett's literal interpretations make me laugh out loud. Seriously, you don't know how much I appreciate being able to read this.

Also, I wasn't reviewing before, but I really enjoyed Annett's lab sessions. Although, I also like to see her character development into more of an open person.

Author's Response: evaleant!

Idioms, yes. I've had to avoid them because Annett doesn't understand, but OH was it fun to write her misinterpretations. Oh yeah?! Well, you don't know how much I appreciate YOU!!

Thank you so much, you're so sweet!! Really, this makes me so happy!

I am thrilled to know you've been enjoying the story with the lab sessions and the character development and the Annett and THANK YOU SO MUCH, AGAIN!!

Love and cookies,

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Review #6, by evaleant Observations and Analyses

18th May 2015:
Yay! Another person has realized the true nature of Annett Kluge!

Author's Response: Hello again, evaleant!!

YES! Yes indeed!

Thank you again for another review!


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Review #7, by evaleant The Irritation of Attention

18th May 2015:
I'm loving this! It's hilarious and serious in perfect combination. Also, I love the message about necessity of communication. It is so true.

"I have no regrets about breaking such petty rules to save a life."

This is a wonderful line. I can't wait to read more of Anette's internal monologue...

Author's Response: Hi evaleant!

I am loving that you're loving it! And I am delightfully thrilled to know that you like the importance of communication theme going on here. :D


THANK YOU!! You're so sweet!!


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Review #8, by The Crazy Kid Yang’s Audacity

16th May 2015:
Hi again Em ♥

So this was a bit different. I talked about fast-forward in the last review, but this was definitely a fast-forward. It was quite a jumpin time, but I'm very okay with that. In fact I think it's better this way, because you can really see from the prologue what kind of girl she is/used to be, but then in this chapter you see what's changed over the years. And she's definitely changed, that's for sure, but at the same time you can tell it's the same character. So I found it to be very believable, and I really liked that difference between 11-year-old Annett and 16-year-old Annett.

I think it's very realistic that she would not be as close to her friends as she was back then. In RL people rarely have the same friends when their 16 as they had when they were 11, because the years between are probably when one changes the most, both in appearance and personality-wise. It's when you really see the difference between people, and I feel like Annett's love for science and knowledge would probably separate her a little from the others, as they don't really share her passion for it. But I liked that they still had contact with each other, because I do think that especially Albus and Annett have some similarities, both being introverted and studious.

This Yang-thing is really interesting, and I loved that they made bets on it. I can totally understand why people would be afraid of Annett; she is a strange, outsider type of girl. But I can't really see Annett as being very pranksty (yes, I just made up that word) or very grudge-holding, so this Yang must've really made her mad if she wants to take revenge on him/give him a taste of his own medicine. I think her prank is going to epic, because I can't see her doing anything that's less than that, so I'm so excited to see how it'll turn out.

This is shaping up to be a very good story. I'm liking it more and more for every chapter I read, and that's just amazing. It's really what you'd want from a story; for it to make you want to read more, and this one does. So good job on building this story up, and I'm excited to see what'll come in the next chapter. I'm sure it'll be just as amazing as the other ones :)

The Crazy Kid ♥

Author's Response: Hello again, Crazy Kid!

I am so glad you liked that difference between 11-year-old Annett and 16-year-old Annett! What you've said about her changing slightly, but still appearing very much like, well, Annett, is precisely what I was going for.

That is very true! People grow and change, and with Annett being as less inclined to socialise as she already is, no, she wouldn't have kept very many friends, nor would she have gotten very close to very many of them. The first chapter served to shock her slightly into this new world and because she had a very uncomfortable first impression of it, she receded further into her metaphorical turtle shell and away from any friends. At this point, she, herself, believes that she has no school mates.

Oh yes, poor, but slightly deserving Arden. This, I suppose, is what happens when you offend, however unknowingly, a ruthless and cunning and precocious Slytherin who also wants to have a little bit of fun. PRANKSTY! I LOVE THAT! Epic?! WOW! I really hope you're not disappointed with the prank itself, then.

BAH! THANK YOU! [hug tackle] I am thrilled to know that you do! This makes me SO HAPPY, CRAZY KID, YOU'RE INCREDIBLY SWEET, YOU ABSOLUTE DARLING, YOU!


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Review #9, by The Crazy Kid Achieving Equilibrium: The Prologue Continued

16th May 2015:
Hi Em ♥

I'm back to leave a couple more reviews. I just wanted to start by saying that I'll probably do it a little differently from what I said in the last review. I think I'll do the first five chapters of this fic, and then do some of the one-shots so I at least get the chance to finish all the other stories if I do not get to finish this one in time for the deadline. But I'll try to get them all done, if uni will allow me do so.

Anyway, this was such an interesting chapter. It was - what's the word - thoughtprovoking! I like how you move forward in time a little or fast-forward if you'd rather I use that word. It was interesting to see that her love for science did not lessen after meeting and living in the wizarding world, but instead grew into a want to combine what she knows from both worlds into something new and amazing.

I think it could've gone either way; she could've lost her passion for it, when realising there is a new world out there that does not at first glance fit with muggle science, or she could just be more curious to get to the bottom of what is the 'science' of this new, magical world. And the latter is far more interesting in my opinion, so I'm happy to see she reacted that way.

I like the part where she's asking all the questions. These are things even I - who's not much of science fan - have been wondering about, so it's great to see it finally being adressed. And I firmly believe science and magic would be a good mix, so I'm excited to see what she'll accomplish through combining the two. I'm sure it can be revolutinary if she keeps going at the pace she has gone at so far, so it will definitely be interesting to see.

And I was right about the house. Yay! But I should probably make something from the last review a little clearer here. It's not any way wrong to write about your own house, and I do know you have written stories with characters from other houses as well. I only guessed it because I couldn't decide between the two houses - Ravenclaw and Slytherin - and I know a lot of people like to write about their own houses - house pride and all that - so I just decided to guess that, that was the house she was going to be in. In addition I felt like - and I don't know you that well, so I could be very wrong - Annett is a little similar to you, maybe have some of your traits and/or the love for science. And since you're a snake, that could make her one as well. So that was what I meant, just so it is clear :)

Another lovely chapter that I found very intriguing. And I have to say I'm glad you liked the graphic, and - just so you know - the comment on your profile is your Harry Potter Words of Wisdom. They're not a clue to who I am, but just some great and inspiring words from HP that can be good to think about in everyday life :)

The Crazy Kid ♥

Author's Response: Hi there Crazy Kid!

That's so kind of you!! Don't worry about it, though, you've already been so generous!! :D

You can use any word you like for it, either way, it's great to hear you found it thought-provoking!! Annett is very comfortable in the science world, so to have that with her in this new world, of which her first impression was the insanity of the last chapter, gives her solace. One of my major concerns was making this chapter reasonable with the mixing of the science and the magic, to see that you find it 'amazing' and 'interesting' is more than I hoped for. Thank you so much for that.

Bahaha! Yes, ASK does a lots of asking, doesn't she? I am thrilled that you, who although is not such a big fan of science, is still enjoying this. The mix of it with magic could, itself go more than one way: to do good, to do not so good. Maybe there is both within the Internal Monologue universe. Who knows? [raises hand]

YOU WERE! No, you were very clear. I completely understand. :) I was only teasing. ;) I guess by writing inside her head, Annett has developed to acquire a few similarities. I wanted an introverted witch who was homeschooled because I hadn't read it before. I wrote this first for my sister (though she didn't know that her own sister had been writing it until well into the story). It was rewarding to see that smile on her face when she could relate to the introversion and the homeschooling. I wrote that from personal experience. The science bit was simply something I couldn't help but explore. Annett then developed precocious ways and a high affinity for Slytherin house.

That's so sweet of you! Thank you so much, Crazy Kid. Many hugs are in order when I find out who you are. I think I've narrowed you down to a list of five people.

Loads and loads of love,

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Review #10, by The Crazy Kid Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

15th May 2015:
Hi again

So I'm going to review as much of this story as I can before the deadline for the challenge is up, because I want to give you as many wonderful gifts as I possibly can. And I am not sure why, but I haven't read this story before, so I guess it is about time for me to do so. It's better late than never, right?

Okay, first of all I love Annett. I think she's a very unique character, not like any other OCs or canon characters I've seen in stories on HPFF. And I love that we immediately get to know her - we immediately understand her and her personality. What I'm basically trying to say is that your characterisation is soo good. I feel like I know Annett already, and she's very likable because she is this odd little geeky girl, who finds herself in a world that completely clashes with everything she's was taught growing up. And that gives her a different look on the wizarding world than what we usually see, and that's what's so interesting about it. A lot of her questions will probably be scientific questions that we - the readers - have ourselves, but that are never answered in the books. And I can't wait to see how you will solve that!

The scene between Teddy and Annett was cute. And I like the 'Alumni Muggle Welcome Committee", that was a clever idea. And the scene on the train was good as well. I espescially liked the mutal understanding between her and Scorpius. I can see them as being a little similar. They're both introverts, I suspect they were both homeschooled (I know she was, but I'm only guessing for him), and they're both a little bit odd/outcasts, at first glance a strange match with the loud Wotter clan.

I was a little confused about the sorting. I didn't really get what house she was in, so I had to check the other reviews to find out if I was just a bad reader or if it was intentionally left out. And I can see now that it is intentional, so that's good. I'm curious about what house she is in. The obvious choice would be Ravenclaw, because she's so knowledgable and curious about everything. But I could see her as a Slytherin as well, because the two houses are so connected in many way - knowledge often comes from the wish to reach ones ambitions. Being introverted does not necissarily mean she can't be a Hufflepuff so technically she could be there as well, but I feel like her curiousity and thirst for knowledge for make her a far better Ravenclaw or Slytherin than a Puff. Hmm.. I wonder if I'm right about this. I guess I'll have to wait till I read the next chapter to see. But I suspect Slytherin, cause I know you are a Slytherin and people like to write about their own houses. I do too (just so you know, that was not clue, as none of those stories are up on the archives)

The Crazy Kid ♥

Author's Response: Hello again, Crazy Kid!

(My current earworm is Thief's Crazy (Le P Remix) and the song I have been responding to your reviews to. :P )

I love that you love Annett and I so glad you find her unique!! She was, after all, nominated for her originality. :P And I love that you love that you get to know her instantly because this chapter has gone through many edits to ensure that happens. Again with the compliments, Crazy Kid, and again with the blushing on my part. YOU ARE TOO SWEET! 'odd little geeky girl' that's very apt, Crazy Kid, very aptly put.

Interesting thing here is that different people respond in slightly different ways to Annett and I didn't anticipate that I could use her as a sort of personality test sometimes, but that kind of happened.

Yes, I figured, let's take this girl who loves science and shove her in a school where science is not taught. Let's do that. Naturally she becomes a little uncomfortable and recedes a little further into her metaphorical turtle shell that closes her off to most of her fellow students instantly and that is to set the tone for the rest of her years at Hogwarts.

I love that you have anticipated that she is inclined to ask (that A.S.K. is inclined to ask) many questions, that' she'll be inquisitive. It does, indeed, get very nerdy.

The sorting, yes! Annett is confused herself, she's uncomfortable, she doesn't like crowds or attention (and the extent of that may or may not be explored further as the story continues), so she's a little out of it. She doesn't hear properly and she cannot completely process this moment. I found it both accurate and fun to leave out the name of the house. Annett is unfamiliar to the system of this school, so you could also say that she doesn't think very much of it here.

But, Crazy Kid, I write from the perspective of all houses: Louis Arnaud Weasley is a Ravenclaw, Jamie Nott is a Hufflepuff, 'Thinking About You' and 'The Not So Private Investigators' are also about Ravenclaws, and then Draco and Parvati in 'Stowaway.' All the houses. ;) In the end, what will make Annett belong in the house she is are her qualities as a person. (the denial of that being a clue served as a clue, thank you).

Thank you again and again for the sweetest of reviews! You are so endlessly kind. I appreciate all of this immensely.

Much more love,

The message you sent through Adi was sweet. I am in the process of analysing its significance, though.

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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin Misattribution

7th May 2015:
Hey, Em!
Here again (sorry if I've been missing from here for a while...)

Great chapter! I'm still in love with the concept for this story!

I love Annett's rebelliousness towards Cunningham. If it was me, I would've already dropped the class... But it isn't me gratefully! :P

Poor Arden... She is such a clever and cruel schemer! Can you really do that, btw? All the playing with hormones thing? I'm very curious and a bit scared about the date... What does she have stored for him?

Ahahah! A prank war with the Incog Imp! James really has no clue...

Another amazing chapter, and I'll see you again on the next, hopefully soon but I can't promise anything...

Un abbraccio!

Author's Response: Dearest Chiara,

There is absolutely no need to apologie. :D

I am thrilled to hear that you still love the concept. And there is nothing wrong with dropping Cunningham's class, Annett is interesting in that she doesn't account very much for the human side of the course--that would be Cunningham. And Cunningham has her own story explored briefly in The Internal Monologue of Louis Arnaud Weasley.

Well, it's all theoretical. The idea is called Misattribution. An example explored in one of the lectures I've heard about it is that, say you order decaffeinated coffee in a coffee shop and your barista accidentally gave you caffeinated. Neither of you know the mistake was made. You drink your coffee and start feeling the effects of the caffeine. For instance, increased heart rate. You see someone's face. Then you attribute the increased heart rate to the seeing of this person's face. You misattribute. You think 'oh this person caused my heart rate to increase and I am feeling weird things.' Then you translate that into love. The same can go for workouts.

What she has in store for him will be revealed very, very soon. [evil laughter] Annett is not very nice, I know.

Ahh! I am so glad you like the idea of the prank war!

Grazie mille, Chiara! i really adore your input. You're enormously sweet. [blush]

Amore e abbracci,
Em (^I hope that's right)

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Review #12, by Roisin Exclamations of Merlin’s Extensive Collection of Lingerie

4th May 2015:

I think this might be my very favorite chapter yet! I really enjoyed the writing throughout. You toggle Suspenseful Action with Hilarious Comedy really well. The scene with the acromantulas was really well written, and all of the jokes were superb. And I always enjoy Annett using SCIENCE to figure things out. The voice was really effective throughout, and the 'internal monologue' nature really shown here.

I love the way you introduce 'crowds' and 'physical contact' early on, and it makes a really nice payoff when Annett doesn't mind physical contact. Again, you did a really nice job of making it cute and FUNNY at the same time. Just really good work in terms of pacing and call-backs. I am in awe of your mastery of naming types of ridiculous lingerie :D


Author's Response: ROISIN!!

IS IT?! THANK YOU! It was super fun to write because of the Suspenseful Action and the Hilarious Comedy and the SCIENCE! [squeeing] THANK YOU! Your reviews consistently produce this urge to hug tackle you.

Heh heh! No she doesn't! Though that depends on who else participates in that physical contact. Someone she's getting attacked by? Acromantulas? Ehh. But someone she's getting closer to? Al? [waggles eyebrows]

My 'mastery of naming types of ridiculous lingere. . .' Thank you [bows]. I've honestly really wanted to do that once I joined HPFF. Merlin has more to his closet than just pants and y-fronts. That needs to be explored.

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AMAZING REVIEW!! :D You never fail to make me smile, Roisin.


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Review #13, by Felpata Lupin Creative Output: Mischief

22nd April 2015:
Hey, Em!
I'm here again!

I'm loving this so much! Your writing is so captivating and Annett's perspective is so unique! Really amazing!

I love the concept of unifying magic and science, and I can totally see why Annett would be disappointed by the Alchemy lesson. It felt so useless...

Ok, I'm very curious about how the prank will work out (even if I agree with Kaitlin, I do feel a bit bad for poor Yang...)

Really brilliant work so far!
I suppose I'll see you again later on!

With love,

Author's Response: Hello again Chiara!

BAH!! TO SWEET! YOU! THANK YOU! GRAZIE! GRAZIE MILLE! You're super, super lovely and I cannot say that enough. I am beyond delighted to see that you continue to enjoy Annett's internal monologue! Chiara. Thank you endlessly for your kind, encouraging words.

Aww. It's okay to feel bad for Arden. These pranksters aren't the nicest of people. :P [hug tackle]

Literally, thank you a thousand times! GRAZIE MILLE, CHIARA! You're so sweet.

Reciprocated love,

(I wanted to write more of this in Italian--I couldn't. I need practice and help)

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Review #14, by Yoshi_Kitten How I Receive My First Detention

19th April 2015:
HEY EM, LOOK WHO'S BACK!!! I am SO SORRY that it has taken me such a LONG time to get here, Em. Like seriously, Idk WHERE all of the time has gone!! RL has been exceptionally crazy for me here lately, as you well know. If it's not one thing, it's another, I swear. And now I have the stupid flu!! *grumbles* Anyhow, enough about all that. Here I am now, and it feels SO GOOD to be back in this story!! I'm so glad you made the request for me to come here first, because Annette's crazy antics are just what I needed to put a smile on my face!! =D

But OMG I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! Had to get THAT outta my system first, haha! I actually remember reading this ages ago, and I thought that I had reviewed it already. But now I remember... That was back when I had my crappy old phone, and I had this wonderfully long and well thought-out review all typed up for ya. And then my stupid phone refreshed the page and I lost it ALL!! And I meant to come back after that, I really did. But then I had all of those computer problems, and we lost our internet for a month around the holidays, and you know the drill. RL has a way of getting in the daggone way of things. =/

I was happy to come back now and read thru this again tho, because there was SO MUCH WIN in this freaking chapter!! OMG!!! Where do I even begin?!? The Rose/Scorpius action at the beginning was amazing! And that awkwardness when Scorpius complimented her was priceless. Leave it to Annette to add to the awkwardness, haha!! I absolutely share her feelings in regards to those two tho – they SHOULD just stop wasting everyone's time and get together already!!

I also loved her awkward comments about Al being "Sheepish." That and the "Dashing" thought that she had was great as well, lol!! She is so intelligent, and yet so clueless about so many things, lol. I have truly missed her quirky character over the past few months...

Everyone's outfits sound so lovely, and the description you gave of the Great Hall was really good also. This party sounds so colorful and FUN!! It's good to see Annette socializing, even though we all know she is uncomfortable in large crowds such as this. When she threatened Lily's date, that was priceless!! I did find some typos in that section that you may wanna address, however:

1) "Since when?" James asks with another punch. If this is how all their conversations go, how have then not lost the use of their arms yet.
- "how have then" should be how have THEY, and I believe that this sentence should end with a question mark instead of a period.

2) "Listen... If you want to keep your life, you will do your best not to maker her unhappy. You break her heart, I break yours. If you so much as say one wrong word or give her one wrong look, I will peel your skin off with my bare hands. Do you want that?"
- "not to maker" should be not to MAKE. And there should be another comma after “one wrong word,” as well.

I still love how people are so afraid of her. It's hilarious to read about all the various reactions that she gets. The Annette/Albus action all throughout this chapter was amazing as ever!! Al was such a gentleman to her. And when he attempted to ask her out to dance. Gah! That whole scene was so awesome. This here was one of my most favorite parts in the whole chapter:
- "Would you..." Al tilts his head towards the horde of spastic limbs. I see worry in his face.

"Not right now, we just ate." Maybe not ever. I keep away from like concentrations of human beings for a reason.

Annette is just SO FUNNY sometimes!! I really do love her sense of logic, haha!! And things were so nice and calm there, so I just knew that it wouldn't be long before SOMETHING drastic happened. After all Annette and Al can't seem to be left alone long enough to have a beautiful romantic moment together...

And there it is. OMG! What was he thinking?!? Does Chu have a death wish or something?? Her reaction was perfect. Exactly what we've come to expect from her, and no more than what he deserved for being such an inconsiderate, drunken git!! Grrr... I hope McGonagall takes it easy on her. Surely Annette won't get into to much trouble for this. I mean, she was assaulted. That was clearly self defense!!

I can see why this is Joey's favorite chapter, lol. It's right up there as one of my top favs too!! This was beautiful, and so well written, Em. And that cliffhanger ending – OMG!! Like I've already said; I have missed this story SO MUCH!! I can't believe it is completed now tho!! A part of me is excited, cuz now I know I won't have to wait ti see how it ends. But at the same time, Idk if I even WANT this brilliant tale to ever come to an end, lol! Thanks for everything, Em. I have missed you and Annette so much! (((HUGS))) Hope this fangirly review was well worth the horribly long wait, lol! ^_^;

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Review #15, by Felpata Lupin Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

19th April 2015:
Buongiorno Em!
Ok, since we've been meeting around the forums a few times, I thought I'd come to peek some of your work... And I'm very happy I did! ;)

Annett is a very interesting character. Her scientific breeding is very clear in the way she analizes everything that happens around her and it's very interesting to follow her train of thought.
Her parents’ love and support is so endearing, considering how difficult for people like them must be accepting the existence of magic. I’m only a bit sad that she didn’t have that much contact with kids her age.

I loved the idea of the "Alumni Muggle Welcome Committee". The scene with Teddy was really cute.

The train scene was really funny! I loved the mutual, quiet understanding between her and Scorpius, and then the Wotter clan jumping in with their terrifying chaos!
And I really wasn't expecting Daisy and Dahlia to be witches, too. And Dudley’s daughters… How little the world is?

I was a bit confused by the Sorting. I haven’t realized which House is hers (but I think that was your intention?) I would say Ravenclaw (and it would fit, since she’s obviously a clever one). Or Slytherin, possibly? I suppose I’ll find out if I keep reading (which might take a while, but don’t worry. You’ll see me around here again. I’m totally intrigued by this story).

A presto,

Author's Response: Buongiorno Chiara!

CHE SI DICE? You're here! You surprised me! I'm super excited! I was told you leave some of the sweetest reviews ever. I was already convinced then, so thank you for gracing me with such a sweet review on TIMOASK! You're are too lovely for this, Chiara? Really. Grazie mille.

I'm am thrilled that Annett interests you and that you enjoyed reading about her upbringing! You are exactly right about her parents. :D

That's exactly how I wanted Teddy to appear! Well, likeable, at least. To possibly warm Annett up a bit to him and make her more willing to join Hogwarts. He makes for a perfect Welcome Committee person for that. I'm glad you found him cute.

Converse to Teddy, the train ride, while also to amuse readers, served to scare little Annett a little. The magic world is very small. The Dursleys needed this.

That is my intention! To not directly say which house she is in. You shall soon see, Chiara! :D

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE. THIS IS SO SWEET AND YOU ARE SO LOVELY THANK YOU! I really appreciate this surprise review from you! [SNOWBALL HUGS]

A presto,

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Review #16, by Ren Unlocked

13th April 2015:
I don't review often. However, this has got to be one of the best main character that I have ever read. BRAVO. I really cannot state enough how much I enjoyed reading about ASK. Very clever story. Hope you write more about her.

Author's Response: Dearest Ren,

Thank you, so, so much for reading the entire story and reviewing. I cannot express just how much I appreciate it! :D I am humbled and honoured that you would think Annett has got to be the best main character you have ever read. THAT IS SUCH A HIGH COMPLIMENT! THANK YOU!! I am thrilled beyond thrilled to see that you've absolutely enjoyed it. That's amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I will definitely write more about Annett. For now, though, there are two other internal monologues published if you'd maybe like to check them out? TIMOLAW (Louis's internal monologue) is a rather important one-shot that helps introduce you to this idea that I will be expanding on in future internal monologues, such as Annett's herself, possibly.

AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You made my day, Ren. :D


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Review #17, by The Ten Plagues of Egypt # Five : Diseased Livestock A Night of Discoveries

5th April 2015:
I come with flame and sword to render judgement upon the houses of Hogwarts.

And Lo there shall come ten plagues visited upon the stories of HPFF; behold as the fifth plague falls upon thy cattle which are in the field, upon the horses, upon the asses, upon the camels, upon the oxen, and upon the sheep: there shall be a very grievous murrain affecting all your livestock.

… Though a centaur would probably dislike being referred to as livestock, it’s as close a match as I could find.

The eye of judgement has fallen upon:

The Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclair Kludge:
Chapter 8 : A Night of Discoveries


In Annett Sinclair Kludge you have created a very singular and remarkable heroine. That her initials stand for ask is a quaint and delightful artifice, one that this reader must own that he didn’t work out by himself and had to be told. She is remarkably insightful about many things and what she doesn’t understand she endeavours to comprehend. It is only the things that she doesn’t know that she doesn’t understand that cause her a problem. And this is employed to wonderful effect in your storytelling – as the narration is drawn almost entirely from the perspective of the way her internal monologue plays out; it would make her unrealistic, too much of a supra-person, if she understood everything.

For instance, in the dialogue which opens the chapter she understands the webs of attraction which lie around her – she even understands that Albus is in some way attracted to her – but it is in a very clinical manner and she never fully understands the emotional import and hence the ramifications that may ensue.

I originally selected this story because I knew it had a reference to a disease which affected … shall we say non-human animals. This chapter was selected because it is the first encounter between Annett in her fox form and Ronan. Little did I know of the serendipitous discovery that I was going to make, as I found references to an actual ailment of an actual ‘livestock’ animal. Sometimes the fates combine to make fools of us all and sometimes it is to show us the way.

Students turning into animagi is an oft turned to theme in these fan fictions. Within the bounds of this story it is used to great effect. It reinforces so much of the character the author wishes to convey about the nature of her heroine. It speaks to her inquisitiveness and magical abilities, that once she found out about the existence of, she then had to try and attempt it for herself. It also, and more importantly, emphasizes how truly alone she is at the core of her being. The fox form allows her access to places that she wouldn’t normally be allowed, which is where she mainly thinks it’s function ends, but it also allows her to be alone, by herself, far more often than the other students.

The conceit the author employs of having her animagi form capable of understanding other animals is a good one, and not one I have encountered before. It has a logic to it that makes sense and the purposes to which it is utilised are meaningful and not done in an offhanded manner. Her friendship with Mrs Norris is one such use that is well done, not only does it give Annett access to information a la the Marauder’s Map, but it turns a particular villain of the books (albeit a minor one) into a sympathetic character.

Her ability to speak with other ‘animals’ is a necessary matter when she first comes across Ronan, and it is her interactions with him that forms one of the major thrusts of the plot of the remaining story. Her dissatisfaction with Albus and the changing nature of their relationship will be what concerns the reader the most about the rest of the story to come, but it is her actions to find a cure for Ronan which will drive her on.

A welcome touch of drama rounds out the chapter, as her nocturnal wanderings lead her astray and she becomes overwhelmed by Acromantulas. The resolution of this subplot, the attention that her wounds receive from Albus, is another one which shows the disparity between what the reader understands about the events of the story and what Annett believes – his care and attention and love is never fully understood by Annett until the very end. It is handled so well, ups and downs in the emotions of the characters not withstanding; that even though this reviewer only dropped into this story, into this particular chapter, for a specific purpose, it does make him want to read it all over again.


A story of a most remarkable young person, capable of the most remarkable sort of things and written in a most remarkable and engaging sort of way – it is no wonder to this reviewer that it garnered all the accolades and praise that it has. This chapter in particular starts a section of the story which touches upon events not seen or handled in many other of these fictions.

Review done for the Ravenclaw, spread the Easter Cheer challenge

Author's Response: ANDREW!!

It's taken too long to respond to this incredible review. I like the voice. The voice you use here is amazing. It made for a supremely entertaining review. Thank you again and again for this. I love it.

Your understanding of Annett is amazing. At this point you know her almost as much as I do and the thought that a character of mine is worth of such thoughtfulness on your part is wonderful. I am thrilled to read all you have written all over again in another of my numerous attempts to respond to this at least half decently. 'Emotional import' and 'ramifications' are highly appropriate terms to use when on the subject of Annett an human relations. This review is spectacular stuff, Andrew. I am genuinely appreciative of everything you've said here. It's made me exceedingly happy. For that I am ever grateful to you.

Aha! Fates work in mysterious ways. In this case, trough tapeworms, those poor cows and that poor Mrs. Norris.

'The fox form allows her access to places that she wouldn’t normally be allowed, which is where she mainly thinks it’s function ends, but it also allows her to be alone, by herself, far more often than the other students.' That, what you wrote there, is perfect. There are numerous ways Annett has distanced herself from her peers, some more subtle than others. This proves, once more, that you have an impressive understanding of Annett. This, I once thought, only existed in the inside of my own mind, but that you've put it into words is absolutely fantastic.

And you're calling her a 'heroine.' That makes me even more prouder of little Annett (and I say this as if she's a real person that wasn't born in my mind). THANK YOU SO MUCH. I don't think I've had her been called a heroine before. [gushes] Proud moment. Ahem. Moving in.

I am delighted that you see logic and sense to what I have interpreted from the books. There is quite a bit of that to be done when magical ability is gifted to a girl of a scientifically-inclined mentality. Which actually brings me to one reason I was hesitant to create an account here and post it in the first place--there is wonder in magic and people like it for that. But if one starts going about trying to explain it with what is essentially pseudoscience, is that wonder gone? And what if some don't agree with my logic because, in this case, there are a lot of ways to explain different magical phenomena? I was afraid to unintentionally detract from magic or from science and I'm glad that the contents of this novel haven't really done that.

With such an internal monologue, there is potential for issues of that disparity between what Annett sees--what readers are directly getting--and what might really be going on. A slight degree of interpretation is required as well as subtle hints on the author's part that the narrator is unreliable. I'm glad it's all working out here. That was one of my biggest concerns, actually. And it's always pleasing to see that this story is worthy of re-reads. Thank you.

Andrew, this is definitely one of the best reviews I have ever received with your incredibly entertaining voice, your deep understanding for Annett's functioning, your high praise I doubt I deserve, but accept it graciously all the same, and your unparalleled thoughtfulness. In short, THIS IS SO AWESOME GOODNESS GRACIOUS AND EVERY OTHER EXCLAMATION OF DELIGHT. THANK YOU ENDLESSLY!

Your fan,

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Review #18, by MadiMalfoy Yang’s Audacity

30th March 2015:
Hello there! You've probably forgotten about this requested review since it was from 2 and a half months ago, but I've returned! :)

Anywho, I decided to read a couple of chapters instead of just one to make up for the ridiculous time frame. :3 I forgot how much I enjoyed Annette's characterization and thought process. The detail with which she thinks/you write is amazing and really puts it in her perspective so it's like the reader is actually in the scene as Annette. I loved that she was able to work magic and science together so beautifully! The whole premise of being a muggleborn with a heavy science background and thirst for knowledge concerning magic and science together really makes the plot of these last two chapters work very well together! SCIENCE.

Ahem, anyway, more to the point of this chapter. I think it's absolutely hilarious how many people are involved in this bet and the fact this many are involved only after being on the train for a few hours. It's somewhat ridiculous and preposterous but I can't wait to see what you do with it in the coming chapters! As you touched on how others perceive Annette as a "lonely cat-lady needing human affection" i think that you could totally go the route of aromantic/asexual (if you haven't already) if it's not an important plot point later on, or even if it is. Some people are simply more interested in doing sciency things than getting laid even as teenagers.

Overall, a great two chapters, and I'll do my best to read further along once I have more time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Madi!

Thank you so much for yet another review. :D I am super happy to see you continue to enjoy Annett's characterisation. She's amazing fun to write. That you feel that you're in the scene with Annett makes me even more happy! Thank you. And yes! SCIENCE!

I guess that's what happens when a Potter or a Weasley gets involved and when the Potters and the Weasleys have a relatively strong familial connection. :P Ridiculous and preposterous was very much what I was going for to further alarm Annett. She is! She is certainly more interested in doing sciency things than getting laid. Absolutely. But more than that, you may find that she is more interested in doing sciency things than perhaps even hanging around friends.

Again, thank you for this spectacular review!


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Review #19, by Roisin A Night of Discoveries

16th March 2015:
I know I've said some variation of this a thousand times already, but I love that Annett isn't actually /awkward./ Like, she has a combination of traits many might equate with social awkwardness, but she's generally more graceful than those around her. I think it has to do with the fact that she cares less about social convention. She's clearly witty and all, and she also has enough weird distance to remain unaffected. I mean, she's delightfully weird, to be sure, but doesn't conform to a preexisting stereotype.

So you finally explained why Mrs. Norris is still around! That never bothered me before actually--I mean, like you said, wizards live for upwards of 1.5 centuries, so a cat in its 30s isn't that odd. I liked the whimsy of it, and I continue to love Annett's relationship with her.

As for how Annett will fare--I'm sure she'll be fine, considering there's 19 chapters left!


Author's Response: Dearest Roisin


Everything you said about her there is perfect and amazing. Thank you so much!

Yes! Mrs. Norris! I like that you like that as well! :D


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Review #20, by Roisin Exploring Hormonal Minds

16th March 2015:
Backedy back! I hate having taken SUCH a long break from this story, I'm glad to have time to continue with it now!

It's so exciting to see someone else nerd out about the science of magic :D Like, applying Law of Conservation of Mass to vanishing charms really made my day! It's even supported by canon! "Vanished objects go into non-being, which is to say, everything." That's closer to the new age Theory of Soul, but that in itself was inspired by a weird union of physics and Eastern thought.

Also, I really have to commend you again on your way with science metaphors. Your analogy between human relationships and covalent bonding was just GENIUS. Ah! I mean, everyone has a narrative of self, and I just LOVE that Annett's narrative uses the language and concepts of science. It also works really well!

Bahahahahahaha--I just LOVE they way Al and Annett flirt by *talking about Al.* That was SO original and cute and inspired!

And ooh, you have so much going on with this story! I want to know how she knows Mr. Malfoy, and also her theories about the Dittany!

I love your description of setting up the Diwali celebration! Especially the bit about randomly placing bindis! My sister is half Indian, and she's TOTALLY a random bindi placer :)

OH MY GOD 'OSCULATING!' That is AMAZING. BECAUSE IT'S THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE ORDER OF CONTACT. OH MY GOD YOU GENIUS, YOU! I have seriously never heard anything as apt or clever as that EVER.

This story is so amazing!


Author's Response: ROISIN!! Hi.


I am thrilled to see that you nerded out on the Conservation of Mass because I did as well when writing it as well as hoping people would like it. "Vanished objects go into non-being, which is to say, everything." I love that. I love that so much.

Thank you! I am delighted to see that you like that! You know how some people relate life and chemistry to better understand chemistry? I figured Annett would do the opposite because she's wonderful like that.


Random bindi placers know how to have a good time. I love that you love that because I loved writing it AND OH MY GOSH, ME TOO! I'm also part Indian.


You're too kind.

You know what else is amazing? You and your reviews and your writing and you. :D


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Review #21, by Pigsfly Developmental Revelations

15th March 2015:
Does Annette have Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Author's Response: Dear Pigsfly,

I am genuinely interested in discussing with you how you got around to thinking that Annett has Autism Spectrum Disorder. If you're at the forums, please message me (I'm Pointless-Proclamations over there).


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Review #22, by TreacleTart Exploring Hormonal Minds

1st March 2015:
Hey Em,

Back for another chapter for your requested review!

Woohoo! Al finally attempted to make a move at Annett, even though he sort of back tracked when he said they could go as friends! I love that his siblings sort of threw him under the bus in front of her. Now he's going to be forced to deal with his feelings. :)

There were several things that I especially liked in this chapter.

I thought your comparison of human relationships to atoms was spot on.

My favorite line was when Annett is talking about goji berries in comparison to dinosaurs and says "They just don't move because they're very shy." I died laughing at that.

I also really liked the lead up to the Diwali celebration and how you let it evolve from his small event to something of a grand scale! Way to tie older characters back into the story.

I'm hoping to have time for another chapter or two tonight since I can't wait to see what happens with Annett and Al!


Author's Response: Hey Kaitlin!

You've been so amazing with these reviews. I adore them!

I am thrilled to hear that you liked things about this chapter and that it made you laugh. :D It's one of my main goals in writing; to cause laughter.

Diwali is my favourite celebration and as well as being a significant turning point of this chapter due to what it stands for, it's just exceedingly fun to write. I'm thrilled to hear that you like that I added it in.

And I cannot wait to see your thoughts on what happens with Annett and Al.

I am terribly sorry and I profusely apologise for the untimely response. You've been so kind about these amazing reviews, too. They're such a pleasure to read and they're always incredibly helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I really cannot tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts.


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Review #23, by TreacleTart Satisfying Humiliation

1st March 2015:
Hi there Em,

Here's my next review from your requested review!

Wow! This story is so detailed and complex. The different layers that you've created with Annett's character are fantastic. I can't believe how much detail you manage to pack into each chapter.

I was a bit nervous reading this particular chapter because it deals with the prank Annett is planning to pull on Arden Yang. I've been feeling pretty sorry for him for the last few chapters and I have to say this one is no different. In fact, reading all of the detail and planning that went into his humiliation makes me feel like Annett is quite malicious.

That being said, the description of the prank was well written. The intricacy with which it was planned was amazing and the idea that that many people managed to keep it a secret was surprising.

I did find a few typos...

You wrote "playing the mysterious chick he perceives me to me." I'm guessing you meant "perceives me to be."

You wrote "Probably noticing he was getting kissed back-he opens his eyes." I think you meant "wasn't getting kissed back."

You wrote "The toad croaks one cue." I'm assuming it was supposed to be "on cue"

Also, I noticed a few issues with the switching of tenses during the scene in the tea shop, specifically at the end of it.

Otherwise, another good chapter. I'm off to read another right now!


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!

Thank you again for this wonderful review!

I am so sorry that I made you nervous, but Arden isn't the nicest person in the world, but neither is Annett. You're right, she can be a bit malicious sometimes. Add that to her taking some offense having people pay attention to her due to this bet, she can be downright heartless.

I am super happy to see that you like the prank! I'm always worried about this chapter because of it.

Again, you are amazing! I will definitely fix those up. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!


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Review #24, by TreacleTart Misattribution

27th February 2015:
Hello! Hello!

I'm back to review your next chapter for your requested review!

Let me start by saying that you really do well writing Annett's thoughts. In a lot of novels that I've read, people tend to break character in the telling of their stories. Not you though. You write like Annett the whole way through.

The humour in this is somewhat dry, but I like that. It doesn't always need to slap you in the face. Plus, I find it to be particularly fitting with Annett.

I thought your characterization of Cunningham was brilliant. I find her unwillingness to think outside of the box incredibly frustrating and the fact that she would threaten Annett even more intolerable. Maybe instead of telling Annett that she basically finds her stupid in front of the entire class, she should ask Annett why she feels the need to add science to magic. I have a theory about her. I think she's afraid because Annett is more intelligent than her. She doesn't comprehend the things Annett is writing about, so in retaliation she treats her badly.

The scenes between Yang and Annett seem very natural considering how Annett has planned every single aspect of them. Poor Yang doesn't seem to know what's hit him.

I did notice two small mistakes...

In one spot you wrote "Any thoughts he had flies away". I think this should say "any thoughts he had fly away."

In another section you wrote "Instead, he breathing kept its pace" I assume you meant "his breathing"

Otherwise, another solid chapter in a very interesting story! Part of me can't wait to see what Annett has in store for Hogsmeade and part of me doesn't want to know because I feel sympathy for Yang. I'm also wondering if anyone will figure out that she's the Incog Imp or if Al will ever speak up about his feelings for her...although after all of the trouble she's going through to embarass Yang, I'm not sure if I would.


Author's Response: Kaitlin!!

Eep!! I'm so happy you think so! This is, after all, Annett's internal monologue so it's imperative I stay in her voice. She's such fun to write. I'm really, really glad that you think the voice remains the same.

I am also thrilled that you like the humour and that it's fitting for Annett's character. I love writing humour and for Annett, dry was absolutely what I was aiming for. Your saying so is a comforting reassurance.

You have very interesting theories about Cunningham. She does not like to think outside the box, absolutely. There's also a matter of her past which I write about in 'The Internal Monologue of Louis Arnaud Weasley.' What happens there kind of clears up some things.

Annett is very much the sneaky little thing. I am super happy you find it natural despite the potential rigidness stemming from the fact that it is, in fact, all planned out. :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CATCHING MY MISTAKES! You're spectacular. I'm embarrassed and completely grateful for having you here.

Sympathy for Yang. . . oh dear. Things won't be going too well for him as you might know. It's fun though. I promise. It's really, really fun. Will anyone figure her out, indeed? And Al? Those questions will be answered in later chapters. ;)

Thank you so much, again,

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Review #25, by TreacleTart Creative Output: Mischief

22nd February 2015:
Hi Em,

Another solid chapter.

It was nice to get to see a bit more of some of the canon characters. The interaction between Scorpius and Rose was cute. I felt like James was exactly who I imagined him to be...handsome, clever, and mischievous.

The dynamic between Al and Annett is interesting. He seems to be less excited about this prank than everyone else. Am I sensing a bit of jealousy on his part?

I'm starting to feel kind of bad for Yang. Unless I missed something, he just wants to ask her out, so I'm not really sure I understand why Annett is so intent on humiliating him, particularly in front of the entire school. To me that seems very mean spirited and borderline cruel.

Otherwise, I find this story to be very unique. Looking forward to reading more.


Author's Response: Hello again, Kaitlin!

I am relieved to see that you like the characterisation of the canon characters.

Interesting thoughts on Al. . . I suppose I didn't intend for him to appear jealous, rather that seems to be in conjunction with his personality. As we get further into the story, this will probably become more clear.

Yang's wrongdoings were listed in the last bit of the previous chapter. He generally treats everyone horribly and makes himself out to be greater than he really is. He has a massive ego. Annett doesn't like him because he claimed some of her anonymous pranks as his own. She sees that he has little integrity and e doesn't really treat other people well. He's hardly a decent person. In addition to that, Annett is, after all, a Slytherin. She's not the nicest person in the world either.

Thank you so much for yet another wonderful review. I really, really appreciate it! You're seriously amazing. :D


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