Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Event 3: In the Forest
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 The Friendship Between Two

10th July 2014:
Ah, the Sirius-James bromance in the Forest. Too bad they didn't get the flower! :)

I liked that James and Sirius talked a bit about how James may have gotten the position of Head Boy, but he's still very much the same old James. That's important, because he and Sirius are still going to be friends--even after death. The scene at the end was a very nice addendum to the rest of the fic.

A few points of constructive criticism:

1. You put "bought" instead of "brought" when James asked Sirius why they were in the Forest.
2. There were a few switches between past and present tense. I would recommend going through the fic again and making sure that all of your verbs are in order.

All in all, this was a really good story collection! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 Dark of the Forest

10th July 2014:
I like the continuity of the Marauders in the Forbidden Forest. :)

Oh no, detention?! That's really dangerous and scary! What did they all get detention for? I'm curious to know. I'm glad that Peter got the chance to be brave--he doesn't get that chance very much in fanfiction, unfortunately. So good for you, for showing him in an instance of bravery. :D Your characters are very realistic--I would be scared and whiny if I had to go into the Forbidden Forest, too!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 A Werewolf and a Unicorn

10th July 2014:
Ooh, I like the image of the unicorn bowing! And I think that the encounter with the unicorn really showed Remus that he isn't a monster like he thinks he is. It's pretty terrible that he thinks he's one of the most dangerous things out there, but if his friends couldn't dissuade him from that thought, I'm glad the unicorn could. :) This was very well-written and fun to read!

I do have one point of constructive criticism: Watch for run-ons. Your first sentence was a run-on, and I think it might've been a little smoother if you broke it up a bit. However, I understand that for the House Cup, you had to type really fast and not worry so much about things like that. :)

Great story!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #4, by evil little devil The Friendship Between Two

9th July 2014:
This was so sweet! I love that you made this such a happy story. I've read so many tragic stories about the Marauders from the House Cup entries, so it's lovely to read something that's more happy than bittersweet.
You write dialogue very well! It's very natural, I love reading their banter. Again, you're great with the characterisations as well, they felt very believable and real to me. I would love to know what it was exactly that they saw in the forest to scare them though!
The ending was my favourite. The idea that James waited in the in-between place for him all those years, not moving on, is so heartwarming. What a beautiful friendship, and a beautiful story!

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #5, by maskedmuggle The Friendship Between Two

9th July 2014:
Hey!

This was so lovely to read. James and Sirius' friendship is quite common to read about in fics, but I liked your portrayal of it here. You could definitely see how well they knew each other, relied on each other and how much they meant to each other. I liked the plot of this story, I was just as curious as James to find out why Sirius had decided on this midnight adventure. I have to say I'm a but unsure as to whether Sirius/James really would have immediately run off from two eyes staring at them in the dark before investigating it any further - at that point they were 7th years and I've always seen them as brave and adventurous people who would've tried to find out what the creature was first.

The second scene was definitely lovely to read about. I'm glad that instead of focusing on James' death and leaving Sirius by himself in the real world, you decided to write about them reuniting in the afterlife. That was such a beautiful moment. Great story! I also loved how your short story collection felt connected even though each chapter was its own story, simply by including a story about each Marauder - really neat idea!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #6, by evil little devil Dark of the Forest

9th July 2014:
This was a really fantastic character exploration. So many people ignore Peter, and so I'm very happy you gave him his very own starring role!
You seem to have a real gift for characters, you captured him even better than you captured Remus (and that was really good as well!). I love that you didn't just make him cowardly, or only point out those features in him which led to him betraying the Marauders - rather, you focused on all of him, and what makes him brave, and good, and why he would have been placed in Gryffindor in the first place. There are some elements of bravery within him, but more than that he places such a high value on it, even as he struggles to have it himself.
This was just such a good piece, you explored his character so incredibly well, really taking me inside his mind. I loved it!

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #7, by evil little devil A Werewolf and a Unicorn

9th July 2014:
I absolutely adore Remus, and so naturally I love reading stories about him! I think you captured him very well, his personality really sung throughout this. I could really feel as if I were there with him, feeling his wonder at seeing this unicorn, and then even better being permitted to pat it.
Your writing is good, although there are a few spots where you seem to have missed a word out, or changed tenses - although I imagine this was written in quite a hurry for the House Cup! It's a little clunky in places, although you show huge amounts of promise, and I'm sure continued practice will iron that out and make it even better!
This was really enjoyable, the combination of Remus with a unicorn was a very good one, and lovely to read :)

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #8, by maskedmuggle Dark of the Forest

9th July 2014:
Hey!

This was such a nice little story of seeing Peter overcome his adversity of not knowing what to do. I really liked that part about how Peter struggled to think of how to deal with the situation and compared himself to how brilliant the other Marauders were and would have easily found a way out. It then made us realise that Peter was just as capable of thinking for himself, which surprisingly you don't see too often, so I'm glad that Peter was able to overcome his fear and doubt in himself to help those two younger kids and himself, find Hagrid to get out of the forest. I liked your plot and characterisation of Peter - it definitely felt very believable, especially in his self-doubt. Nicely written :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #9, by maskedmuggle A Werewolf and a Unicorn

9th July 2014:
Hey!

This was really great, and I loved the character and magical creature you chose to highlight in this story - Remus and the beautiful unicorn. You definitely captured the magic and specialness of the experience for Remus and conveyed that through to the reader. I really liked the plot here, of Remus helping a unicorn and then actually interacting with it.. the unicorn bowing at the end was especially extraordinary. I also loved how you weaved in bits of information about the unicorn here, as I knew some of it but not everything, and it was really interesting to read about as well. I especially liked how Remus recognised, truly appreciated and really respected the beauty of the moment he had just experienced.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login