Reading Reviews for Wake up, Rose.
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Cannons The Art of Getting By

22nd November 2014:
All caught up now Joey! Eagerly awaiting the next chapter as well. ;)

So yeah, three chapters in and I don't hate this story. Sometimes I find first person stories too annoying, as in the character is having a conversation with the reader, but yours defiantly isn't like that at all.

You still get the humour across but its done naturally and subtly. For instance the shower washing away some of the stress. I like things like that.

You've written Hugo so well. I really do like him, very protective and rather like Ron in some ways. I'm rather hoping he decides to invite Albus for a bout of 'muggle duelling' :P

The more I read the more I feel like Dominique is not someone I would want to be friends with, she seem like such a manipulative little...

I'm really hoping this was just some stupid, drunken idea to spike Rose's drink because otherwise it would be so brutal for her. I really hope they all sort it out eventually though. :P

Oooo the silent treatment! Love it. I feel sorry for Albus now though weirdly, now I am hoping he was just Dominique's puppet in this whole charade.

Rose can cast some powerful spells? What a surprise :P Seriously though, that was fun to read as was Spinnet's comments. Is that Alicia btw or am I completely off the mark?

This was comedy gold -
“I’ll be next. One time I went on a blind date and it turned out the guy was my cousin,” says Happy. - honestly I laughed at that and Demi has a crush on Hugo. :P

I feel like with that ending this story is going to really start 'heating up', I have no idea how you are going to approach the elephant in the room but I know it is going to be awesome!

This is a great read so far!

Fin

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Review #2, by Cannons It's Kind of a Funny Story.

22nd November 2014:
Back again Joey!

This was so good! Rose reacted just as I hoped towards Albus. Yeah, I loved that section although it did make me laugh when Albus said -"Dom was in on it too!" Albus says apologetically." - as if that makes it any better for him. Now he is probably going to have two very annoyed females on his hands.

I was surprised to find out that Scorp hadn't in fact been slipped a love potion and it was only Rose that has, that certainly changes the dynamics of the situation does it!

So Rose has held a grudge against him since first year for a playful tease? Ouch, that must hurt Scorp if he really does like her. I'm unsure how he will react if he finds out that, that night only happened, because AL slipped Rose a love potion. Or does he already know that?

You write teenage girls really well :P Every line was a winner in the dormitory, my favourite was the one about the tattoo! :P

Anyway, can't wait to read on!

Fin

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Review #3, by Cannons Wake up.

21st November 2014:
Joey,

This was interesting. :) I seriously have no idea what to make off Scorpius at the moment. He is either being a total *insertwordofchoice*, or has been drugged apparently, but everyone else loves him. So I will just have to read on to find out about him if nothing else. :P

I really like the way you went about setting the whole chapter up, with giving the ages and personalities of everyone. That was done well and now it's out of the way, I know I dont like doing that when writing a new fic. I thought you spread everyone out well, and I always, like it when Al is in Slytherin.

I kind of have an issue with everyone on at Rose to find a guy, it's her own choice at the end of the day. So I was kind of annoyed at Al for slipping them that potion. Especially if he knew the full extent of how strong it was and what it was going to lead to.

I enjoyed your description with the paintings and the castle and things, very atmospheric.

I'm very interested as to what will happen next!

It's late and I'm on my ipad so if this review doesn't make sense you know why.

Fin

Author's Response: I'll tell you, it takes a while before you really get a clear idea of what to make of him. For someone so essential to the story, he's kind of *talked about* more than he actually appears. His character is rolled out very gradually.

I almost never introduce everyone in the first chapter, but I thought it pertinent, if only to see if any of her assessments change over the course of the story. And I always put Al in Slytherin. I absolutely claim him for my house. :P

I have a huge issue with everyone on Rose to find a guy as well. A lot of this story is kind of a TAKE THAT! aimed at people who are like that. Some of my characters are really, really morally defunct. I don't downplay the horrible, horrible thing he did by slipping her that. The moral of this story is basically 'you should respect people's choices and consent is a huge deal and here's why.' That said, I don't think he knew what it would lead to, at all. He's still horrible.

Thank you! I have an unnatural obsession with the portraits at Hogwarts!!

I'm glad that I've got you interested! Thank you so much for this review :D


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Review #4, by Chazzie The Art of Getting By

9th November 2014:
You got the third chapter up! Whoop go Joey! :D

I love the way Hugo is so protective of his big sister. He is a very typical Wesley in that respect, which was lovely to see. A lot of Next Gen stories forget how loving the Weasleys are, even though they have their differences.

Professor Spinnet being concerned was nice, although I was a little annoyed with her for not suspecting that something was surely wrong for Rose to end up in the Hospital Wing for alcohol consumption. I mean, she admits that she would expect it from her cousins but not Rose. Sigh. She ought to listen to her instincts a little more.

The Secret circle sounded fun. I loved finding out more about Rose's friends and dorm mates. This was a brilliant chapter and I'm really glad you decided to post it!

Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie!

I still can't believe it took me so long to get this up. My goal is to never take such a long break ever again, BUT don't hold me to that.

Hugo is hands down my favorite character in this story and he really is a typical Weasley in a lot of ways. I couldn't wait to get to this chapter so that I could write him, honestly.

Professor Spinnet means well, but she's a little oblivious. I thought about giving her Dumbledore-like instincts, but I decided that it'd be more fun for no one to catch onto what really happened. At least for the time being.

The Secret Circle was kind of a Convenient Plot Device here, but I thought it was okay because Demi totally made it clear that it's purpose was to coerce Rose to tell her what happened. In my head, they have those whenever someone needs convincing to spill something. Kind of like - we all told our secrets, now it's your turn.

I'm so glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for stopping by to review, it means so much!


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Review #5, by pointless_proclamations The Art of Getting By

9th November 2014:
JOSEPH!

Wow. Just wow.

This is a spectacular way to get back to WUR! It's astonishing how you continually improve despite how amazing you were already.

I get the feeling that this chapter is loaded with hints of plot threads. You are exceedingly talented in doing that. So much so that I want to get really mad at you, but my awe of your writing just gets in the way of that.

The way you imply Rose's slow degradation of mental stability is spectacular. Her thoughts and actions are written so precisely. My mind = smithereens, by the way.

Hugo is such a loveable character. He seems thoughtful and caring. I am guessing that he will prove to be a wonderful support system for Rose. And of course he listens to Muggle music! ;) The two have an admirable sibling-dynamic.

The juxtaposition of Rose's laughing and crying speak volumes! She is barely getting by. I have so much empathy for her! Why must you write characters that I care so much for only to put them through such difficult situations and, therefore, affecting me in such a way? Joseph. . . [wincing]

You've got her annoyed, crying, laughing, and enraged here and it all sounds very conflicting if I put it that way, but YOU have written this situation in such a manner that it is very in-character. I don't see a foolish girl who has been bequeathed with too many emotions from birth and hardly knows what to do with them. I see a strong female who has just been wronged by the very two people she called her best friends and, naturally, is exhibiting such emotions over it. Although still I wonder if the combination of alcohol and potion is still working on her here.

Now I am wondering what is Lysander up to? And what will Happy, Demi, and Liz do with that bit of information? What about Al and Dominique? What method of forgiveness-acquisition will they try next? So many questions! I can never restrain my curiosity, which I should figure is standard for everything you write! I don't even try!

This is insanely brilliant as always, Joseph. I consistently expect greatness, but I am consistently surprised by what you come up with!

Author's Response: EMILIE!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

You make me so happy whenever you say anything about my writing. There are a few hints, I will say that.

I really wanted to show some Actual Problems happening with Rose because she got her drink spiked by her cousins/best friends and it hasn't actually been said out loud, but really - she had her first time under the influence of a *messed* up love potion. Not to mention it was with someone she absolutely hates and vilifies and it all is just such a horrible situation that I really do not want to downplay it as okay in any way. She's going to have some problems for quite some time, as anyone would in her situation.

I've already told you that he's my favorite character in this story. He's just amazing in every way, I run out of words to describe the strength of character he shows. Of course, that's all in my head, but soon you'll see what I see, I think! - and I cannot resist plugging the Muggle music, especially when the lyrics are SO perfect for the chapter. I rarely plug things that don't symbolically say something related to the plot. *not-so-subtle hint to keep in mind for my nano novel*

I love to make you care for a character only to have them suffer!

In a way, this story would never have happened if it wasn't for her extrovert cousins thinking they needed to "fix" the nearest introvert. *whistles knowingly*

THANK YOU for saying 'strong female' because I've actually gotten multiple reviews calling her strong and you know my opinions on the matter of how women get written. I really just wanted to write a story where a girl is a normal person. I find that woman become caricatures and I refuse not to allow Rose to become that. Thus, she will never be overly emotional, but she will show emotions appropriate to the situation. It's a balancing act and she has just as realistic of an emotional range as my male characters do because they're both human beings. But, I'll end that rant there.

All of your questions and more will be answered pretty soon, I can't wait to see what you think of the rest!

So glad that you liked this, thank you so much for this review. You inspire me to continue writing!


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Review #6, by Unicorn_Charm The Art of Getting By

7th November 2014:
Hey Joseph!!

Eek! I'm so excited that you've updated!!

I forgot how much I really do love this story. I mean, I knew I liked it, but after re-reading, and then reading this new chapter, I remembered just how good it is. :)

Ok, so on to the review.
I feel so bad for Rose. I can't even imagine how mad, upset, betrayed and hurt I would feel if two of my cousins did that to me. Her breakdown with Hugo was completely understandable. I'm really shocked it took her as long as it did to break down like that. But it did seem like the gravity of the situation didn't really hit her until she was explaining what happened to Hugo. Speaking of that, the whole moment with her brother was just adorable. It really reminded me of going to my brothers when I'm upset over something. The immediate "I'll kill them" type response from Hugo was so brotherly and so believable. It was my favorite part of this whole chapter.

I totally don't blame her for blowing off Albus and Dom like that. I wonder how long she'll go without speaking to them. If I was in that position, I'd make them squirm for quite some time haha. I'm sure they honestly are sorry, but they could have killed her. Idiots.

I'm liking Demi a lot. She seems like a really good friend to Rose, and she needs that right now. She was completely violated by her cousins and needs a good support system. I feel like between her dorm mates, and her brother, she'll have that. And how cute is it that Demi has a crush on Hugo? :) I've had friends before tell me that they've thought my younger brothers were cute. It's an odd experience. You never know how to respond haha.

I'm very curious to see how her next interaction with Scorpius goes. Hoping for some Scorose action next chapter. Maybe? Yes?

Excellent, wonderful, beautiful, amazing job! Loved it!! I can't wait for the next update. Even if it does end up taking four months. ;)

Much love,
Meg ♥

Author's Response: Meg!!

It makes me beyond happy that you love this story because it was very, very close to being abandoned not too long ago and this review makes me feel like it was worth it to give this story another try.

You really nailed all of my thoughts about her breakdown. I wanted her to not truly process what happened until that moment. I wish I could say that I'm done throwing things her way, but I'm afraid things are going to get worse before they get better.

Hugo is 100% my favorite character in this story, so I'm glad you liked his scene as much as I did! He's really fun to write and I can't even wait to update again because I don't wanna spoil but I totally wanna talk about Hugo!!

I'd blow them off too. Idiot is definitely the correct word for those two. I wrote it and I'm still shocked that they thought what they did was a good idea.

Okay funny story about Rose's dormmates. It was originally conceived as a ensemble kind of thing, which each of them getting equal spotlight in scenes, but then I started liking Demi more and more until I basically made her the Most Important Friend. She's great for being the leader of Rose's support system because she is so 'in your face, doesn't take no for an answer.' AND she likes Hugo, which elevated her character even more.

There's certainly a Rose/Scorpius scene in the next chapter. It may be a bit different than you'd guess. It's my favorite of any Rose/Scorpius scene in my head though.

The next update won't take four months haha! At that rate, I wouldn't finish this for a couple of years. NaNo has me in a really great writing zone, so I'm planning to quickly bang out another one of these chapters after I'm finished with that, but still have some of the spirit left in me. The next is my favorite chapter overall, so I think you'll like it!

Thank you so much for this review and being so amazing and kind. You are the greatest!! :D


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Review #7, by Loonylovegood67890 It's Kind of a Funny Story.

5th October 2014:
Hey,
Great chapters! I'm already drawn in and I want to know more now! I really like the way you portray Rose. I think her character is very strong and self asured.
At first when they were declaring love for each other i was sat there like 'WHHAATT?' But then I thought either someone's put something in her drink or she's completely hammered out of her head. I was sort of right I guess! :)
I was shocked to learn that Scorpius' thoughts were real and nothing was spiked for him as well because he seemed to dislike her as much as she did him. Then I realised it was all probably just a front to hide his true feelings. I do believe that somewhere in the back of Rose's mind she does like Scorpius but she'll be too stubborn to admit it.

Author's Response: Hi,

I'm really happy that Rose's character comes off as strong! That was definitely something I was going for here. I wanted to write a female character who doesn't take what's done to her lying down!

It seems like both of your guesses were correct! Scorpius was drunk at the time, but he certainly was not under the effects of a love potion. He was, as they say, giving what he gets. There's a lot of things to describe Rose and stubborn is certainly one of them.
Thank you for this review! Sorry I took so long to respond :)


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Review #8, by Chazzie It's Kind of a Funny Story.

5th October 2014:
Hey Joey!
*grins* I hope you're still writing chapter three. I would be most disappointed if you weren't. So story. I really love it so far. The way Rose says she is so close to her family, but then we realise that perhaps she needs to be a bit more wary of those she trusts. I feel sorry for poor Al, I doubt he had considered anything bad happening to Rose. Still, you should never mix your drinks. Or anyone else's. You know what I mean.
Rose waking up at the hospital was really effective. The reader instantly thinks that she is waking to find herself in Scoprius's bed, and don't really entertain much else. Then we realise just oh wrong we were. And Scor gets his little almost deceleration of love, which is sweet. Even if Rose doesn't belive him. Yet. I have a funny feeling she'll be coughing up a few galleons by the end of the year. ;)
So, you've done a fantastic job so far *hint hint* and I can't wait to read the third chapter that you are surely writing as I type this.
Your ever-encouraging-and-just-so-slightly-mean friend who hopes that you and your chapter are doing well,
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie!

I'm actually still working on it! I recently changed the overall direction and my edits on the first two chapters have gone through, so I have no excuse anymore.

Rose really doesn't have the greatest luck of all as far as trusting people. She's kind of at the end of her wits here, understandably. I feel sorry for Al because I know that he didn't think about any of this, but he learned a lesson about meddling in other people's lives and maybe the ethics of love potions?? I don't know, he learned a lot of lessons. Slipping things into drinks = bad 100% of the time.

Rose waking up in the hospital was my little bait and switch to twist this story away from the typical 'aftermath of the party' kind of thing. It's like, this is what would ACTUALLY happen if someone slipped you a love potion. It'd be dangerous and you'd be mad.

Thank you so much for all of the compliments! You're definitely encouraging me to get back into the writing of this story and that's just awesome and great of you and wow just thank you!!


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Review #9, by Unicorn_Charm It's Kind of a Funny Story.

7th September 2014:
Hi again!

Ahh! I knew it!! I knew something was put into her drink. What were Dom and Al thinking?? They could have killed her. I know they meant well, but slipping something into their cousin's drink? That's a little too far. I'd be just as mad if I were Rose. Especially after what happened between her and Scorpius. That is something you can never get back.

I can't believe he told her that he may be having feelings for her! Of course she wouldn't believe him. Why would you believe someone who has treated you horribly for years. I would think it was just another mean joke, too.

I so need to know what happens next! Please update soon. :) Great story so far. I love it!!

♥ Meg

Author's Response: Dom and Al, very simply put, weren't thinking at all. I like to think that Dom convinced Al that nothing bad could happen because well, he'd be at the party as well. Not factoring in the chaotic nature of the party and the drunkenness of Al. Overall, bad plan. I don't think Rose is quite finished being angry.

I actually think I am going to go back and re-write bits of that conversation. But, yeah the basic gist is that Scorpius now thinks he has some kind of feelings for Rose and she does not believe that or just has no time for it to be true.

I am going to update pretty soon, don't worry! Thank you for the swap and for your kind words :D


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Review #10, by Unicorn_Charm Wake up.

7th September 2014:
Hi there! Here for the swap. :)

Uh oh... What did Rose do?! I have a feeling she is going to regret that, horribly, in the morning. I feel like there was something funny going on with that drink that Al gave her, too... Hmmm.

Well. This seems like it's shaping up to be a highly amusing story. This first chapter was great! I really like your Rose. She seems very comfortable with who she is. Not needing to fit in with the crowd, doesn't need a boyfriend (although, at 15, I'm sure she does want one eventually), she's content with her family and the friends she has. She seems very put together.

I like the bit of banter between her and Dom. That was quite funny. And I loved Al. Him leaving the compartment yelling about there being a new era really cracked me up. :) Then came Scorpius to kill the mood. He was just so mean to her! I wonder if it's because he actually likes her, but he knows that his father won't like it, so he compensates by being a jerk? Or if he just plain doesn't like her. Until the drinks kicked in, that is haha.

I really, really liked this. I can't wait to see what happens next! As a matter of fact, I'm heading off to the next chapter now. Well done!!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Well you guessed the plot of the next chapter there in the beginning of this review!

And yes - Rose is very comfortable with herself and doesn't want to rush her way into anything. She has her friends and and she is fine with them. I want her to be a very strong character throughout this story, even in her less fine moments.

I'm glad that you liked how she was with Dom and Al because that'll make the rest of the story much more poignant, I think. Scorpius is not exactly a nice guy in the beginning of this story. There's some things that need to happen before I even attempt to make Rose think of him as anything but terrible.

I'm really glad that you liked this enough to look at the next chapter, that means so much! Thank you for the review!


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Review #11, by Yoshi_Kitten It's Kind of a Funny Story.

2nd September 2014:
And I'm back again for chapter 2!! =)

Okay, you got me. I seriously thought that she was waking up in Scorpius' bed in the beginning, but I was surprised to see that she was actually in the hospital wing instead! Oh dear, poor Rose! I'm glad that she is okay. The idea that love potions and alcohol do not mix is extremely believable. I just can't believe that Albus and Dominique would try such a thing!! Surely they must have suspected that it would have side-effects?

Rose's reaction was very well done, and totally justified. I don't think that she was overreacting at all. I know I'd be pretty furious if any of my immediate family nearly poisoned me to death; accident or not! And I loved it when she called Al by his full name. That was such a great way to add a little humor into an otherwise pretty serious situation.

In a way, I think it's best that Rose does not remember everything that happened between her and Scorpius while she was, erm, under the influence. The knowledge of this would probly be devastating, to say the lease. But, at the same time, I feel like a secret this big is going to have to come out sooner or later. I am just wondering now when and how she will find out the truth. However you so chose to reveal this, I'm sure it'll be a good read. I can't wait for that chapter to come out, lol!! ;)

I like how Liz placed a bet on the fact that the two of the would be together by the end of the year. That was like my favorite part of this whole thing! I really love all three of her friends, and how naturally they all get along together. This was, like, seriously one of my favorite lines though:
"Good, I'll use my earnings to pay for your first 'I heart Scorpius Malfoy' tattoo," she says jokingly.

Okay, so you asked me to specify if there was anything I seen that didn't quite work for me and, well, there was really only one tiny thing. I just feel like Scorpius' confession was a bit too... sudden. I mean, I get the sentiment and all. He was worried about her because he thought she was going to die. But I feel like there should have been a bit more dialogue leading up to it, that way it would flow better. Sorry if this seems overly critical. Honestly, there really is nothing else to critique besides that one small detail though. Your writing is SO good, Joey! =)

I just love how versatile you are as an author. And you are really good at writing the female mind too, lol. I'm kinda sad that this is the last thing left I have to review for you! You need to write more soon, PLEASE!! Is there an update for this story in the near future? I certainly do hope so!! This story is really good, Joey, and I hope that you plan to continue it asap!! Please let me know as soon as a new chapter goes up, cuz I would very much like to come back and read it. I shall read everything that you write from now on, haha!! =p

And again, Happy Birthday!! I hope you have had a good one, Joey!! Thanks so much for review-swapping with me. This has been SO MUCH fun!! =D

10/10
~Deana~

Author's Response: I'm glad that I keep getting people with that little bit of trickery! Al and Dom really did not think their little plan over and probably would have known the effects of alcohol on love potions if they had paid attention in potions class! I definitely intended to make Rose reasonably mad here. I'm not sure what other way there would be to deal with that kind of thing. Especially considering how close they were. And I do end up inserting humor into practically everything I write. I do it by accident sometimes because I tend to joke around a lot inside of my head and it shows when I write without consciously trying to make everything bleak.

Yes, Rose still does not know the exact details of what went down with Scorpius and that's for everyone else's safety. I almost think she'd rather not know.

Her friends really give this fic a bit more light conversation haha. It'd be quite tense throughout the entire thing if they didn't exist, I think. I'm glad you like my little jokes!

I know that I need to fix that conversation up a bit. I've had more experience with nuanced back and forth since I wrote this so I think I'll be able to edit it up a bit and then start on moving forward with this. It doesn't seem overly critical at all, that's basically exactly what I wanted to hear!

Thank you for the comment on versatility! I do hope I can write more than one style convincingly. And it helps that I have so much respect for the female mind. And not only the stereotypical image of what that is, but the extremely varied and worthwhile thoughts of all females that some people forget about when complimenting women on their looks. BUT, this isn't the place for a political rant I don't think! I can't believe that you have reviewed everything I have up on the site! That's so amazing that you'd take the time, wow. I am going to come back as soon as I can! I hope it is in the near future as well. I don't think you understand how grateful I am for you wanting to read everything that I write. That's such a high honor, really.

And thank you SO much for the birthday wishes. They meant so much to me and you have really made me so happy today, once again! Thank you again and again!!


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Review #12, by Yoshi_Kitten Wake up.

2nd September 2014:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEY!!! *throws confetti* I am here to leave you some Birthday Reviews!! =D

Honestly, I don't understand why you don't like this story?!? I loved it. I mean, it did feel a bit rushed there towards the end, but with everything that was happening it was totally understandable. I like the voice that you have given Rose here, her attitude is different than the typical fanfic norm. I like that she starts off hating him in the beginning,and I think it will be interesting to read how you plan to alter her opinions of him as this story progresses. Rose reminds me more of Ron in this story, which is a nice take on things, considering that most people write her to be more like Hermione. You should not be so hard on yourself, dear. You are such a terrific writer, and this is amazing for being you first fic in three years!! (:

Your characterization of everyone else was spot on too. I really like how you took time to name off all the Weasley & Potter kids, and provide each of their ages as well. You seem to have everyone spaced out pretty evenly, and I feel like this is the way that it should be. Oh, and I liked the mentioning of Lorcan & Lysander too!! Will we be seeing more of them in this fic? You really do have such a good a grasp on all of these characters, and I cannot wait to get to know them more as time goes on. They all seem to get along so naturally, and you can tell that they are a very close-nit family. It's funny how concerned they all are for her to get a guy tho, lol! =P

Your OC's Demi, Liz, and Happy are all awesome too. I think that Happy is my favorite tho, lol! They all get along so well with Rose, and you can tell that they seem to have her best interests at heart. It's good for Rose to have such close friends outside of her immediate family. That being said, however, I think my favorite person in this is Al. He is usually my most favorite in all NextGen fics, and this time was no different. I really like that you decided to put him in Slytherin with Scorpius. I cannot help but wonder what he was up to when he handed Rose that special bottle of Firewhisky though. He was acting awfully suspicious. Was there something in it?

And OMG, that ending!! You described everything so perfectly. It wasn't too over the top or too little. It was just... perfect. Gah! I wish that I could write passionate love scenes like this, lol! I am jealous of your mad-skillz, man. Very jealous indeed, haha!! And now I must know what happens when they wake up! What a wonderful first chapter this was! You have definitely captured my interest. I am going to have to read more now!! ;)

10/10
~Deana~

Author's Response: Thank you for the birthday wishes!! I suppose it just isn't 'literary' enough for me. I hold my own work a very, very high standard that isn't always easy to reach. I wanted to avoid making Rose your typical teenage character. I really like writing out of the ordinary characters. Rose is a lot more like Ron in this story, at least in temperament. Thank you for that! I was so nervous putting it up after all of this time, especially with so many I knew on the site before no longer here.

I decided that this story was a good of a time as any to get my official headcanons for the Weasley/Potter family in order, at least in terms of age. Lorcan and Lysander will actually show up in this fic, yes. I like to include them sometimes. I'm glad that I write the characters interactions well! Their determination to get her a guy leads to some conflict of course, as you have now read haha.

I wanted Rose to have some friends outside of her family as well, so I spent a lot of time developing her dormmates in my mind. And Happy is secretly my favorite as well! I am a gigantic Al fan and I just love messing with his character a bit. The answer to the question about the bottle is now known to you. I wonder if you guessed what it was!
I'm glad the ending was good! I was kind of nervous to write that honestly. I have never ever written anything like it at all. Thank you for this amazing review, yet again. You're just so good at making my day!


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Review #13, by mymischiefmanaged Wake up.

23rd July 2014:
Hiya, I'm here from the review tag in the forums.

I like the opening to this story. Although it's hardly unusual for a ScoRose fic to start with Rose hating Scorpius, your wording somehow seemed refreshing. It's also interesting how you've characterised him as somebody everyone loves rather than letting his name influence the way he's viewed. It makes a good start to the chapter.

The spread of ages in the Weasley family is good. It's not realistic to group them all together as the same age and I'm glad you've not gone down that path. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of Albus and Dominique's personalities as they featured quite a bit here but it felt a bit like they were plot devices rather than characters, there to point out that Rose is single. I would have loved to see (for example) some more snarky comments and reapplications of make up from Dom (if she's the prima donna) and have Al looking out for her a bit more. This is in part a matter of personal preference but I think for me it would have improved the chapter to introduce these characters with a bit more depth.

I'm guessing Rose was given a love potion? It's a really interesting opening chapter, giving lots of opportunities for drama when she faces the consequences of the night. I really like how you've put her and Scorpius together in the first chapter rather than spending ages explaining their back story etc. This way's much more fun to read.

The only other comment I'd give is about your summary. I don't know whether it's just me but I was slightly put off your story by the 'wow, I am so punk rock'. It kind of made me think this was one of those stories that's there to make fun of a cliche character or something. Don't know if this makes sense as a criticism or is even relevant and it's probably just me but I thought it was worth mentioning as it nearly meant I didn't bother reading which would have been a shame.

This is a really strong first chapter and I really enjoyed reading it.

Emma

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm glad you like the opening, that was the part I struggled with the most, I think. Albus and Dominique were a bit underused in this first chapter, but they do become quite important characters in the next couple. I'll keep in mind trying to make their personalities pop more though!

I definitely knew I wanted to start the story off with Rose getting into this trouble with Scorpius, because I agree. It's way more fun to be dumped directly into the action.

And oh no! The summary was meant to be a bit of self deprecating humor, I hope it doesn't make it seem like the story is a parody of sorts. I may have to reword it again if that's the case. Either way, I'm glad it didn't succeed in scaring you off.

Thank you for the review Emma, it was super helpful!


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Review #14, by AdinaPuff Wake up.

23rd July 2014:
Hi!

Well, that escalated quickly. I love your characters so far! Rose is definitely a bit different than the other Rose's I've read about, but it's a good different. She's a little more out there, and I love it. Dom is the usual Dominique, always classy and a little sassy. Al, the poor lad, had to deal with her boy rants. Al seems nice, but you haven't gone into great detail with him yet. I cannot wait to see more of him. And Scorp! I don't know what he's like really at all yet. Like she didn't hold a good conversation with him yet for me to really understand.

I'm not sure where the story's going, but it's gonna be a good one! Thanks for swapping with me!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm sooo glad you love my characters. I tried my hardest to make Rose different here, but yeah I did kind of write your stereotypical Dom. Al definitely becomes more important to the story with time haha. I'm don't think I'm even sure what Scorpius is like yet. I'm playing around with his character a ton throughout the writing process.

I loved your opinions about the characters, thanks for your vote of confidence and thank you for the swap!


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Review #15, by Gabriella Hunter It's Kind of a Funny Story.

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your awesome review! Be prepared for that! Also, I'm sorry that I'm a bit late. T-T

So, we're back to Rose and I was actually a bit worried for her. I thought that something else had happened for her to be in the hospital wing but I think working in the love potion with the alcohol was a good twist. I never expected that! And it makes since that those two things shouldn't be taken together but I do think that Rose should have gotten into a bit more trouble for drinking--maybe she gets a letter from her parents? I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have just been blown under the rug unless she bribed the school nurse. Hahaha.

Oh, I caught something too: "Mrs. Weasley" should be, "Ms. Weasley" since Rose isn't married. That was the only thing that stood out and it'll be easy to spot. :D

I was really surprised by Scorpius! I had a feeling that he liked her but I was shocked that he would actually want to get it off of his chest right then and there. It was pretty brave of him but I wonder how Rose will handle the truth of it later on? Did she even believe him? Will he be more assertive later? Hm...

Albus and Dom! Tsk, tsk, tsk. They were really naughty for doing that to Rose and I can understand why she's mad. Will they make up? I know that they didn't intend on her and Scorpy...you know, doing all that but I hope they understand the consequences!

I thought this was a good chapter, it certainly didn't go in the direction that I thought and I hope you update soon, okay? Aside from what I pointed out earlier, there weren't any other problems that I could spot so keep on writing!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!

I'm glad you liked my little early-story twist. I didn't even think of Rose getting in trouble, honestly. I suppose I may just write a scene in which she gets a stern talking to from her head of house or something similar. And yes, I edited out the Mrs. but it hasn't made it's way through the queue yet! That must have been a complete brain lapse on my part.

Scorpius (in my mind) had been wanting to say it for years and seeing Rose so close to actually dying encouraged him to let that loose! I hope Rose's decision of how to handle what he told her keeps you interested!

Al and Dom are a bit immature, if you couldn't tell by their actions, but I think eventually I'll have them come around and regret what they did.

I'll be sure to updating soon(ish), thank you so much for this review! You've lived up to your previous awesomeness :)


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Review #16, by pointless_proclamations It's Kind of a Funny Story.

22nd July 2014:
Interesting.
potions + alcohol = serious health concerns.
I love the idea! Was it a bad reaction to powdered moonstone? How exactly did her body take to the combination?

I wonder, what did Rose smell in the bottle? Or were the scents disguised under the smell of Firewhisky?

Excuse my questions, you don't have to answer them if you don't want to. I just want to let you know how you've got my mind running.

I love the new chapter! I love the story! It's awesome! You're awesome!

Cheers.

Author's Response: Hey!

I pictured it as a situation where her body kind of overheated. The combination of the two severely dehydrated her, causing her blackout. Rose didn't notice anything strange about the bottle, mostly because she trusted Al. I'm so glad I've got your mind running, thank you for your amazing review!


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Review #17, by diamondmoon It's Kind of a Funny Story.

20th July 2014:
Hello again =D

Oh, it was a love potion! I thought that was a little strange the way they were acting, even for firewhiskey. That makes sense though. At first at the beginning of the chapter, I thought she was still in Scorp's bed, and her mind was playing tricks on her. I liked that it was Albus and Dom who gave her the love potion. Really, I thought this was just a unique situation in general.

The plot is going along pretty well. I'm curious as to how this will play out. Re-request when you have updated a chapter! I'd love to review again. (:

9/10

Author's Response: Yes, it was a love potion. At least in Rose's case. Scorpius has a totally different excuse, but as we don't see his point of view, it isn't examined yet. I felt terrible about it being Al and Dom to give her the potion, but it made sense when I was planning haha.

Thank you for this wonderful review, I'll definitely re-request!


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Review #18, by diamondmoon Wake up.

20th July 2014:
Hi!

First, I'm just going to say whoa. I did NOT expect what happened in the end XD. It was just like hate hate hate hate "Let's be best friends!" "Okay!" And BAM they're in bed. And that's REALLY good. You want your story to be unpredictable. Most stories will just wait too long in the scenes, and you know what's going to happen but in this, you just got right to the point.

I also like what you did with the characters. I'm getting tired of reading stories where the ages are kind of out of wack, but this is how it should be. Rose, Albus and Scorpious at least two years behind James, Dom somewhere in the middle, Lily and Lucy much younger etc. Applause for getting that right.

Besides the fact that the end of this chapter kind of ended with a bang, you did a good job pacing the beginning. Just a small introduction. Enough so that we know who the characters are and a little about them, but not too much that we know their life story.

Over all, I am very impressed with this first chapter. For a Rose/Scorpious(usually they kind of have all of the same plots), I can tell that this is going to be amazing and I'm interested in their reactions when they wake up in the morning. Awesome start!

10/10

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm glad you enjoyed the pacing of the story! I went through a lot of edits trying to get the first chapter to move at the speed I wanted it to. And it's also a pet peeve of mine when people simply throw all of the Next-Gen characters into any which year. Thank you for your kind words. What an amazing review!


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Review #19, by Remus It's Kind of a Funny Story.

20th July 2014:
Hello! I'm here, once again, with your review swap! When you post the next two chapters, let me know so I can come! You totally had me impressed with reading all four chapters of mine!! :D Thank you!

I'm glad to finally be here! Being without internet is definitely not fun! Shall we begin? XD

"Mrs. Weasley, I'm glad to see you're awake. For a moment there..."--You called Rose "Mrs." instead of "Miss"

Oh no!! Did her cousin give Rose a love potion? What? Was it meant for him or did he give it to her knowing what it was? Dun dun dun!!

I really like the dialogue exchange between Scorpius and Rose, however, it felt like it still needs some "meat" to it. For example, when Scorpius is telling Rose that he is crazy for her, there should be more "feel" in Rose about it. It's difficult to explain when its in first POV. Basically it comes down to telling the reader how she felt/thought when he was confessing that to her.

Oh no! They both did it to her! What?! You would think that they would know a little bit better but alas...hahaha. They're young and silly children. They didn't realize that they could've done something really bad to her! No consequences. Haha.

I really like her friends though!! However, wouldn't they, you know, support her a little bit? Or is it because they were charmed by Scorpius that they didn't see that he was "teasing" Rose too much?

I wouldn't call this chapter as "filler". It actually helps move the story along to where you want it to go. You have to give yourself some time to flesh everything out, including your characters and plot.

This was a great chapter!

Until next time
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hey Rosie!

I will definitely let you know when I get around to updating this!

I didn't ever catch that I called her Mrs. accidentally. I'll have to edit that out. I wasn't all too sure about Scorpius and Rose's conversation in this chapter. I meant for it to be read as Rose kind of ignoring him, as if she thought he was playing a joke or something. I definitely could have made that scene a lot clearer though.

They were very unaware of the consequences of mixing alcohol with the potion, as well as extremely inconsiderate about Rose's wishes to keep more to herself than them. They saw her behaviour as some kind of cry for help, I believe.

Her friends are someone blinded by their undying hope for Rose to have her 'happily-ever-after' story. Along with Scorpius' uncanny ability to avoid insulting her outright when others are paying attention.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #20, by jessicalorewrites Wake up.

16th July 2014:
Hey!

I'm here with your requested review courtesy of my review thread over on the forums. And can I just say right off the bat, for your first story in three years this is excellent!!

Rose seems like a very likeable character despite the fact she doesn't have that many friends outside her family circle. I'd love to se her reach out and make more though, but perhaps that is coming. She gets along well with her dormmates which is great since one of them is usually the antagonist, so this is different!

I have to say though, Scorpius is really the one playing on my mind. Do I trust the general consensus and believe he's a truly loveable guy or do I trust what Rose says about him and pit him as the evillest of evils? He definitely seemed a little mean with his comment on Rose always being alone but then towards the end, courtesy of alcohol - and maybe veritserum I think? - he seems to actually like her. Or at least lust her.

There are definitely some funny moments too. I love that you don't really seem to be trying too hard to go for 'humour' but yet it just comes naturally. James handing out the ton-tongue toffees and Scorpius' line "do you mind finding your way out of my corridor" actually had me loling at the computer hehe :p

There are a few things I would take into account to improve the general flow of your writing, though. In a lot of cases you use the character's name right after already writing it. In case you don't know what I mean:

Here, you put "Al looks more than relieved when he sees that I've entered the compartment. I sit down next to Al and say..." except you don't need to reiterate that it is Al, especially since he is the only male in the room. Instead, try things like "Al looks more than relieved when he sees that I've entered the compartment. I sit down next to him and say..."

Overall though this is a really great first chapter. There are little quotes and phrases that instantly grab the reader's attention and this gets me interested for the coming chapters! Can't wait to read them!!

xo

Author's Response: Hey!

I like to think of Rose as one of those people that could have as many friends as they'd like, but simply choose to focus on other things. Her dormmates absolutely love her, regardless haha.

I'm glad Scorpius' real nature isn't so readily apparent. I like to let the reader kind of figure that out on their own. And I'm really excited that you thought it had some funny moments! I didn't want to overdo it, but I wanted there to be a few laughs.

And I did not catch the name thing at all, but now that you point it out it seems so obvious and miscalculated!

Thank you for this wonderful review and all of the kind words! So glad you liked it!


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Review #21, by marauderslover15 It's Kind of a Funny Story.

16th July 2014:
Hi, again love! =D

GREAT START! I was thinking to myself, like “Oh, she’s in Malfoy’s bed” THEN in reality she is in the hospital. Very surprise and it traps your readers to continue reading! AND MIND BLOWN! No wonder she was so keen on Malfoy so suddenly. LOVE POTION! DARN (although I would like to use a naughtier word here) ALBUS! YOU TRICKED US ALL! LOL And Scorp is so cute, ah I want him. Anyway, I don’t have much to say because everything was absolutely great this chapter. I really look forward to reading more so please re-request!

Author's Response: Hey Dez!

I'm so happy you liked the little reveals I sprinkled throughout this chapter. That love potion the ripple effect that jump starts everything else that is going to happen. Thank you for the review and all of the compliments, I will definitely re-request!


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Review #22, by red_headed_juliet It's Kind of a Funny Story.

15th July 2014:
This was hilarious. I like how your main character isn't exactly the most likable. Haha. She is genuinely aggresive, sarcastic, or shrewd, and that's ok. +]

I think that the whole Scorpius deciding he has feelings for her was a bit sudden, like I expected there to be more time, but oh well. +] It's still quite an entertaining story.

Favorite line: "You guys are my new favorite couple!" yelps Happy.

I literally laughed out loud. This was just hilarious. And when the fs started coming out, I knew it was going down! I would be like that too if my cousin almost tried to kill me.

Overall, very nice. Thanks so much for the swap! I'm adding this to my reading list. it was just too funny

Author's Response: Rose is definitely not the easiest to get along with, for sure. And I think it's a matter of the shock of Rose nearly dying that caused Scorpius to say what he said. I hope I can explore the factors that added into his admission later in the story. I do enjoy writing Rose's dormmates a lot. I hope I can manage a little bit of comedy in this story as best as I can. Thank you for the swap and adding it to your reading list! I'll try to update as soon as possible!

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Review #23, by Remus Wake up.

14th July 2014:
Hello!! so sorry that I took a while to get here!! However, the important thing is that I'm here for your review!! Let's get this started!

I like Rose's relationship with his cousins. It definitely feels natural here. It made me laugh that Dom was trying to make Rose more...outgoing? However, does that mean that Rose doesn't have any friends? Or she has a few and wants to make more?

Aww, why is Scorpius so mean to Rose? What did he do to her? I'm kinda intrigued. Reading your warnings and pairing...I'm not sure if I'm going to like this!

Aww!! Flitwick now reads off the first year list and sorts them! Is McGonagall the Headmistress here?

I like how I'm confused about Scorpius. Should I trust what Rose says or what everyone says? He could be a charmer, like Tom Riddle, and just play everyone except for Rose. I also like how the Houses don't have this crazy rival-complex. They seem to get along...like inviting other houses for a party.

I find it interesting and refreshing that she doesn't get along with every single cousin she has! In every next gen story that I've read, everyone one gets along with everybody..well, except the adult cus they're "not cool" enough for them.

Haha! "family gift giving occasion.--I think that's how I'm going to call them now!

Whoa, hold up...wow...that happened fast. Why?! No! They shoulndn't have had that "drunken fun". This is definitely not good. What I liked about that part is the fact that she's not telling herself to stop; she's enjoying herself. That's alcohol for you! It makes things seem more fun, even your enemies! And then do stupid things with your so called enemies. Man...I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! What will they say?! How would they react? I'm still intrigued about how your rating and warnings will come to play in your story.

See you in the next chapter!!
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hey Rosie!

I'm glad you like the relationship between Rose and her cousins, that'll make the rest of the story that much more satisfying for you. And it's definitely a case of Rose having a few friends but Dom wanting her to simply befriend everyone.

McGonagall is the Headmistress here, while Flitwick is the Deputy Head. Scorpius has a strange fixation with Rose that stems largely from an awkward first encounter.

I try to make Scorpius' true nature sort of ambiguous. I want to make it plausible to have differing opinions on him and still be somewhat correct. And haha family gift giving occasions are what I tend to call holidays in real life so I thought I'd slip a bit of my own humor into this.

The reactions about the party will be incredibly varied and as you can guess, the rest of the story kind of ripples from that. I hope I can make it at least a little unpredictable what will happen next and I hope you come back to read on! Thank you for this lovely review!!


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Review #24, by The_Crookshanks_Saga It's Kind of a Funny Story.

13th July 2014:
Hi, this is the (very late) Crookshanks Saga from the review swap!

I have to say, this has gotten. Lot better since your requested review! I am truly enjoying this, and am really glad you're continuing. That being said, some parts of this weren't exactly reallstic. Like, Skip professing his love like that, and Rose accepting it so calmly (well, for her). If you really wanted to give an expressal scene so quickly- don't. It makes the story less authentic and blatantly obvious, with no drawn out suspense.

On the plus side- new summary AMAZING. I truly, completely love it.

Until next time!
-Meena

Author's Response: Hey Meena!

I'm really glad you see improvement here, that means so much. And I know Scorpius' confession was kind of well, ridiculous, but I'm hoping to balance it out with how I develop the initial reasons for him doing so later on. And I'm planning on explaining Rose's reaction to still thinking he's playing some sort of mind game, so I hope that makes some kind of sense haha. On another note, I'm so excited that you love the summary, it was written for you after all! Thank you so much for doing this swap!


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Review #25, by maryhead Wake up.

13th July 2014:
HI! I'm here for your requested review!

I really like the beginning of this story! Maybe it's because I've never read lots of Next Gen fics, but I am really pleased by how you managed to transform a "classic" start of a fanfic (the train ride to Hogwarst and the Feast) into a very original introduction.

First of all, I was happy to read that you didn't spend too much time describing the beauty of the train and the goodbye to Rose's parents. I mean, it is true that the train station is wonderful and leaving your parents for an entire term can cause a wide variety of emotions, but I read far too many fanfics playing on these two particular elements. Instead, you chose to start your story by depicting the thoughts of your protagonist. It is an interesting beginning, quite cinematographic if you ask me. A reader can hear Rose ranting in her head and watch her walking hurriedly in the crowd, and then BAM. The camera zooms and Malfoy junior makes his first appearence in the film! As I said, original and cinematographic.

Then, there is the ride in itself. Thankfully you didn't talk about the sweet cart lady (candy lady? Honestly I don't know how to call her ;)) and you preferred to focus on Rose and her cousin/friends. Wow, Dom is something, isn't she? I quite like her, and the banter between the two girls too. It is realistic, they are good friends but they do not agree on everything. On the contrary, they seem to have quite the opposite behaviour towards the world: Rose is more introvert, but not because of her shyness (at least, I don't think so), but because she values the importance of choosing carefully your friends/lover, whereas Dom embraces the philosophy "the more the better". It is a nice contrast, even more enjoyable because you managed to combine two different characters without making them enemies.

You are depicting Rose's psychology in a remarkable way. Using the first person's device, you manage to dig into her mind and show the readers all her thougths and doubts, without forgetting that there's a world outside your character's head and instead playing with the little imputs that could morph one's thread of thoughts. Wonderful, I tell you.

Last but not least, there's the icing on the cake, the best part of the chapter in my opinion: the party! I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that the party was set in Slytherin Common Room, because that means that somehow the Hose rivalry has decreased after the War, what a wonderful news! Oh, and the way Rose smoothly loses inhibitions and becomes more and more... friendly... That was soo good!

I hope I didn't ramble too much :). Sorry if I did, but when I find a story interesting, I tend to pour all my impressions and thoughts without a logical order! Anyway, as you MAY have noticed, I loved this first chapter, and I'm looking forward to read the future updates.

As I usually review one chapter per request, if you'd like to receive my opinion over the other chapters, don't hesitate to re-request!

Author's Response: This is my favorite review that I've gotten so far on this story, I'm in awe right now! Wow, the word cinematographic is a gigantic compliment. I was really hoping that I could write an opening chapter that did more than go through the motions, so to speak.

I'm so glad you like Dom, because I was afraid she may come off as stuck up to some people but you seem to understand what I was going for. I don't believe that two different people automatically will not like each other because if that was the case, we'd all be friends with people exactly like us! And where's the fun in that?

I struggled with what point of view to write this in and it's awesome that I succeeded in kind of, becoming Rose here.

In my Next-Gen headcanon I always prefer to have the houses more joined together than anything. It allows for more believable interactions between those characters in separate houses, I think.

I definitely don't mind rambling if that's what this is! I'm so thrilled that you liked this chapter and I will make SURE to re-request! Thank you so much for this lovely review!


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