Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik And Lasts Forever

12th July 2014:
Awww, this was the perfect ending to your little collection of stories! It's been such a lovely journey for the two girls, and you really captured that with this concluding piece. All the girls' laughter and silly escapades, all their childhood experiences, and then their darker days and war experiences, and finally their golden friendship that lasted throughout the years - all the sentiments were beautifully conveyed in this piece. I absolutely adore this collection, and I think you've done an amazing job with taking the three prompts and moulding them around the lives of Hannah and Susan. You've fleshed these two out with so much care and compassion, and you've written two such lovable and relatable characters.

I've really, really enjoyed reading your Hufflepuff collection. Gorgeous writing, and well done! And Hufflepuff for House Cup!

-teh
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #2, by teh tarik It Comes From Within

12th July 2014:
I was hoping you'd continue writing about Hannah and Susan in your collection, and I'm so, so glad to read this! I loved how you portrayed them in the first chapter, and to see them in this piece, which is much darker in tone, is wonderful. This is the first time I've read the Battle of Hogwarts through Hannah and Susan's perspectives and this story of yours reminds us that those two were indeed there with all the brave Gryffindors and the heroes and all. Hannah and Susan, who are just a couple of very normal girls, who are in a house, which is often ridiculed by others, and who aren't the most popular girls in school. It's absolutely wonderful to see that they haven't been totally forgotten in fanfic, and that they struggle just as much as the other major characters. Hannah's lost her mother, of course, and yet she and Susa soldier on, stand by their morals and defend Hogwarts and their friends. They're truly loyal and brave and wholly remarkable, these girls, and your writing does them justice.

This was an amazing read! I can't wait to read your last chapter!

-teh
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #3, by teh tarik Adolescent Escapades

12th July 2014:
Hello there!

Awww, this was so adorable and fluffy! Hufflepuff fluff is always the best, and way too few writers here on HPFF explore the lovely friendship dynamic between Hufflepuffs, esepcially Hannah and Susan. I"m honestly so happy that you've done that here! I love how you've written these two, how fun and mischievous they are...well, at least Susan. The opening sentences made me laugh, especially with the two girls giggling as they're about to embark on something stupid. And using a Niffler to turn the common room inside out is definitely not one of the wisest things to do! But the girls know that, and still they persist. And their end plan was just to run away and pretend they knew nothing. Ooh, sneaky Hufflepuffs! Is that a glimmer of SLytherin cunning I see in Susan?

Whatever it is, I love this, and I love the girls! Excellent work!

-teh
House Cup Review 2014

 Report Review

Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 And Lasts Forever

10th July 2014:
Oh, I'm so glad that they both lived to a ripe old age. That makes me very happy. :)

The first paragraph of this story was particularly good. I like how you moved through the things that they did early in their friendship before introducing the idea that they had grown old. I don't always like to read about HP characters in their geriatric years because it makes me sad, but this only made me happy. Susan and Hannah were great friends. :)

Awesome story collection! The connections between this story and the other two were really nice to read. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #5, by UnluckyStar57 It Comes From Within

10th July 2014:
I like that you wrote about Hannah and Susan for all three stories. That kind of continuity is fun to read!

Hannah and Susan have clearly grown up now, and they live in times of darkness. It's great that they were both willing to band together in order to fight the Death Eaters. They could have easily given up, but they overcame their fears and fought their hearts out. I also really enjoyed the mention of Neville, and Hannah's crush on him. Hannah/Neville are my favorite. :)

Good chapter!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Adolescent Escapades

10th July 2014:
Nifflers are so cute!

This was really well-written and I like the best friend dynamic between Susan and Hannah. Their use of a niffler was pretty ingenious, I think! I'm glad they found the necklace, but I hope they can get the common room fixed before one of the prefects catches them. :)

The only problem that I have with this story is that sometimes I couldn't tell which girl was doing which thing. I was a little unclear on whose mother's necklace it was, but that sorted itself out in the end. Just thought I should mention it. :)

Great use of prompt one!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

 Report Review

Review #7, by SkyEcho Adolescent Escapades

9th July 2014:
Hi MileyMalfoy!

Yay - a story about Puffs!! I loved that you started this story with a threat of detention. It instantly grabbed my attention. I think you did a wonderful job portraying the friendship between Hannah and Susan. You definitely get into the most trouble, and end up participating in the least thought out plans with only your closest friends haha.
I'm also wondering why Susan would just take the necklace off and leave it on the couch... I like the idea of an animal that can find shiny things. I could definitely use a niffler myself :) This may just be my own curiosity speaking, but I kept hoping for more description about what the niffler looked like.
I love how shocked Hannah is every time she realizes Susan hasn't really thought things out. She definitely should not let her be the brains of the plans anymore haha. I'm happy the necklace was found and that your story ended on a positive note.

Great job!
*House Cup 2014 Review*

 Report Review

Review #8, by evil little devil And Lasts Forever

9th July 2014:
Oh wow, I'm actually crying right now, with actual tears streaming down my face and everything. This was so sad and so beautiful. You wrote their friendship so well, it felt so natural and strong and wonderful. That line about the silence of a friendship lasting forever - that was my favourite. It is simply stunning, and so accurate. If you can be comfortable with someone in silence, then it's a special relationship.
I love how this came full circle, in a way. The first story was so innocent and carefree, the second one had them in hell, and this one in a way returns to that innocence - as shown by how Hannah still sees Susan as a child. Despite all they've been through, they've retained that pure, unadulterated friendship, and I think that's wonderful.
I really enjoyed all of these! They were all lovely stand alone pieces, but at the same time together they make for a really fantastic collection.

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #9, by evil little devil It Comes From Within

9th July 2014:
You captured the atmosphere of the war so well, it felt just like it did in the books.
I loved the relief they felt when it was all over. It felt so palpable, like I could almost touch it, even though it was a small relief in the face of a lot of loss and grief and pain.
This is the type of story that could have been in the books, it fits in so beautifully well with canon. I really love that conversation they had about houses, that all of them contain both good and bad, and all of them can be brave and clever and ambitious and kind all at once. These two girls were so incredibly brave in the face of such danger, and so wonderfully loyal and loving to each other.
Hannah's interest in Neville at the end was adorable! Especially considering we all know how that ends :P
This was so lovely to read! You've picked a wonderful relationship to write about, and I love how you've breathed so much life into two minor characters.

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #10, by evil little devil Adolescent Escapades

9th July 2014:
Was this in part a joke about Hufflepuffs being particularly good finders? Because, if so, I love you :P
This was such a sweet, lovely story about two friends getting up to mischief in the way that only friends can. It's such an innocent moment, before all the bad stuff happens.
I loved the humour as well! Susan's increasingly impromptu plans had me giggling throughout. I love that they went to all that effort of getting a niffler in order to find the necklace. And that plan to pretend they found it like that and get Sprout to fix it up!
This is a super adorable one-shot, I really enjoyed it :)

- House Cup 2014 Review.

 Report Review

Review #11, by maskedmuggle And Lasts Forever

9th July 2014:
Hey!

This was written so well, and the second part of the story was particularly heartbreaking and nearly made me cry :( A loss is always so hard to deal with, let alone the loss of your best friend who's really been through everything with you, through thick and thin. I really liked how you depicted their friendship so closely and really showed the special bond they had. I also liked how in the second part Hannah reminisced about past memories, including the niffler event and the war, which was great because it tied in with the other two stories in your collection and made this collection feel really cohesive. All in all, I really loved how all three stories in your collection stood alone but also complemented each other with similar ideas and themes that came together here. Such a great idea to focus on these two for the prompts, I really enjoyed all three of your stories!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #12, by maskedmuggle It Comes From Within

9th July 2014:
Hey!

This was a really great story about the war, that highlighted the actions and thoughts of minor characters we don't really hear that much about. I really liked finding out about Hannah and Susan dealt with the war, and although I realise this is for Prompt 2, once again I thought it was nice that you depicted their friendship well here as well. The war is definitely a very tough adversity for teenagers/young adults to deal with, and it was lovely seeing them overcome it together. I thought this felt very believable and realistic and I thought the dialogue here was great as well. It was nice seeing them comfort each other. Well done on this!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #13, by maskedmuggle Adolescent Escapades

9th July 2014:
Hey!

I really enjoyed reading this. It was lighthearted and fun and i loved the whole plot line of the two girls using the niffler to try and find a lost necklace. I liked how they were both initially quite worried about getting in trouble, whilst still being able to appreciate the humour of the situation - it just seemed very believable, especially as the characterisation of both Hannah and Susan was awesome. I also loved how you showed that they were good friends in this as well, and I liked the dialogue between them. I also really liked how the niffler also found a lost earring as well as the necklace. I would have perhaps enjoyed reading more about the mess/damage the niffler had caused just for humour, but otherwise I did greatly like this story, so well done with it!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #14, by MischiefNotQuiteMannaged Adolescent Escapades

8th July 2014:
Susan's suggestion to "be shocked and horrified when we get back and see it and then Professor Sprout" had me in stitches. I feel you captured the mischievous and innocent nature of the girls really well. Hannah's desire to find her Mum's necklace is made so much more heartbreaking by what we know will happen.

I like how you looked at the Hufflepuff girls and showed how they are really just teenagers, going to any lengths not to get Hannah into trouble with her family for losing the necklace! They're so at ease with in each others company and I can feel how strong their friendship is!

I hope the girl's don't get in trouble for the mess; I a feeling Professor Sprout will be able to see through their story :P

House Cup 2014 Review

Educational Decree Number 4

 Report Review

Review #15, by HeyMrsPotter And Lasts Forever

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

Can I just say, I love love LOVED the opening sentence to this :D Every single word after this just broke my heart into a million pieces. I think it's because their frienship reminded me of mine with my best friend and the idea of ever losing her is just heart wrenching.

It's very rare that I actually cry at fanfiction, and I mean full on running nose and sobbing, but you definitely got me with this one. I was teary at first and then this line just pushed me over the edge:
The kind of silence of a friendship that would last for eternity, and when it was eventually time for Hannah to leave, to give Susan's family more time with her, the hug that they shared was one of finality, as if they both knew that this was it, the last station on on a lifelong journey. It was just a beautiful and fitting end to their friendship and Susan's life.

You really did their friendship justice throughout the three stories, even in this really sad ending. Great job!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

 Report Review

Review #16, by HeyMrsPotter It Comes From Within

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

This was such a good read! I really loved reading about the war from a perspective other than Harry's, and I loved that Hannah and Susan stuck together throughout it all, and it was a true testament to their friendship that Hannah told Susan she would understand if she chose to bow down.

The ending was one of my favourite parts of this, with Susan encouraging Hannah to go and talk to Neville. It was a nice hint of the future relationship between them, so often in fanfiction people put Neville with Luna because of the film and it was never a ship I could get on board with- I like that you stuck with canon.

This was another really great story. I love the continuity that you have with Hannah and Susan's friendship, and I look forward to reading the next installment of their adventures!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

 Report Review

Review #17, by HeyMrsPotter Adolescent Escapades

7th July 2014:
Hi, Meg :)

This is the first time I've read anything of yours and I was immediately in love just from the title alone :D The super writing and brilliant first part of your entries were just a bonus ;)

I really love that you chose to write about characters from Hufflepuff, and I adore the friendship that you've given Hannah and Susan. They're very typical teenage girls just giggling and having fun and it was so refreshing to read. Choosing the niffler as your magical creature was a brilliant idea, it's one of my favourite magical creature of the series and makes for such a fun story!


There was one thing I picked up on with your punctuation in the speech:
"Well come on then. It's heavy." Hannah muttered The speech should end in a comma, rather than a full stop so that both the speech and the text describing the speech are part of the same sentence. Like this: "Well come on then. It's heavy," Hannah muttered
And if the text ends in a question mark, like this: "You're sure the last time you saw the necklace was in here?" She questioned quietly then the first word after the speech mark should be lowercase (unless it's a name or I etc)
It's a minor thing but it will make your writing look a little more polished :)

I'm really looking forward to reading the other two parts of your entry, Meg!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

 Report Review

Review #18, by Karou_Marauder Adolescent Escapades

7th July 2014:
Hi there!

Characterisation: You portrayed the two girls really well; how Hannah was just going along with what Susan said because she trusted her and Susan was a bit of a trouble-maker, but they still worked together as a team.

Description: For me there wasn't enough description of the common room, and even of the Niffler. If you describe the copper on the furniture, or the way the Niffler attacks everything then that will bring it to life a bit more.

Plot: This is a really good little piece. I can definitely see it being something Hogwarts students would do, especially trouble-makers like Susan.I especially like the bit at the end where Hannah says /she'll/ do all the thinking and planning from now on.

Great story!

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much. I'm glad you think that the characterisation worked. I think I'm definitely going to go on and do more description work when I go through and edit it, but I'm glad that you enjoyed this little piece. Thank you so much for the review, I appreciate it.

~ Meg


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login