Reading Reviews for Background Noise
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan A Gentle Snow of Pianofortes

20th October 2014:
SHE WAS ARGUS FILCH IN A PREVIOUS LIFE

Ha, I love this story. Where do you come up with this stuff?!

"before it starts hailing taxis"... hahahahah. I'm a huge fan of terrible puns. Seriously, every time I leave a review on this story I'm not even able to describe how awesome it is. The complete weirdness of everything that happens, your quirky and clever writing style, mentioning the most absurd things in a chill way as if they're so commonplace, the way everything actually ties together in a brilliant way, all of it. Basically, I have trouble writing review on this story because I just want to quote the entire thing back to you, but a) it would not be a very useful review, and b) it would exceed the character count anyway.

Ok, one more quote. "Statues in togas, statues of togas" just... love it. If you wouldn't mind clarifying though, is it a statue of a pile of cloth - like a toga with no one in it, or a statue of a toga as if it's on a person who's not there? Like a statue of the shape of a toga around an invisible person. :P

MacGyver Malfoy, that crafty jerk. Please write a spinoff fic about him.

That whole scene with James (I mean, The James) fishing things out of his pockets (like a kitchen sink, and Every Flavour Pita Bread XD) made me laugh out loud! Actually, most of this story has made me laugh out loud.

knighted for services to bodybuilding hahaha. I know I said I wasn't going to quote you anymore, but I lied.

This story is so fresh and original and crazy, but I found the following quote by Oscar Levant, which I think sums up your story very well: "There's a fine line between insanity and genius." Thus, this story is genius and you are brilliant. Hats off to you my friend (or I would take my hat off, if I'd not lost it while laughing in the beginning of the chapter.



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Review #2, by The_Crookshanks_Saga A Gentle Snow of Pianofortes

8th October 2014:
omfg teh you're killing me here. my nonexistent cat is probably wondering why i'm clutching my stomach and wheezing.

IT'S LAUGHTER, MAN. NOT ASTHMA. LAUGHTER.

there should seriously be a law against beautiful writing like this and OMG NORA WAS FILCH LIKE WAT

i'm sorry. let me speak clearly.

Teh, I could take your writing with my tea. How is it that you manage to write so descriptively yet so in the now? *shakes poor you through the computer screen* How, woman, how?

To know the fog, you must be the fog: i heart James. He's just so special. Who actually keeps turnips in their trenchcoat?

and how could I even compute Albus the bodybuilder? Like, what is it with you and your characters, teh? I'm starting to feel like you stick a bunch of cards with random words on them in a hat and pick a few out for each character, all like "hmm, so Albus= Calvin Klein briefs and bodybuilding, why not." Because if that's your secret, it's a darn good one.

OK, so Jo is gonna die, or not? I mean, the cards aren't exactly in her favor (which you so subtly pointed out with James ;) but YOU JUST CAN'T DO THAT TO JO, TEH! PLEASE DON'T!

anyways. i wub you and your writing, and as soon as i finish typing this i'm gonna friend you on the forums so it's easier for me to stalk your writing. well, it won't be easier, but I just wub yoo so. A total "goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus" in a totally teh (that means awesome in my book) way.

-Meena

Author's Response: MEENA YOU AMAZING PERSON HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS

Like, thank you!! Thank you so much for coming back and leaving your crackpot comments and how you'd like to have my writing for tea and whatnot PLEASE, HELP YOURSELF.

You know, my writing might make you develop asthma if you're not careful. o.O

And yeah, omg Nora is like Filch what what what

On hindsight, I should've done something more outrageous, like made her the reincarnated half-soul of Dumbledore or something. :P

This is descriptive? Thank you! I'm flattered you think that this is descriptive and yet feels so 'in the now'.

The James. The Fog. The Void. What else?

ALBUS THE BODYBUILDER. Sir Loinsteak, I dub him. How do I give my characters such wacky characteristics? I think you're very close to figuring out my methods, but they're not that complicated. I just pluck random ideas and images out of my head and put them together, giving no thought to how incompatible they are with each other, or with the Potterverse.

There are dimensions beyond us, my friend. And like another reviewer said, other dimensions is where it's all happening!

Is Jo going to die? That is indeed a good question. You will know that Jo has died when the story suddenly stops and never continues. It means a grand piano crushed the life out of the poor girl. Or avian flu or something.

*hugs*

MEENA YOU'RE THE BEST! ♥ ♥

THANK YOOUUU.

-teh


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Review #3, by 800 words of heaven The Curse of Carkett Close

5th October 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Hahahahahaha! I've been having a pretty horrible day, and this has just made it a bajillion times better! I don't read crackfics, but you're such a wonderful writer, so I was like, it can't be that bad, and I was right! I'm having so much fun!

The craziness of your characters just adds to the charm of this story. There's no way that these people could ever really exist, but that's okay because as Nora knows, other dimensions is where it's at - or at least half of one's soul is at, as the case may be.

I'm looking forward to seeing just what this year has in store for poor Jo. I hope she doesn't die in the next chapter. That would be very not nice :(

Lovely beginning so far!

Author's Response: Oh haaayy. :)

I'm glad I made your crapfest of a day better. :D

You're absolutely right; there's no way these characters are real, but that's why we have other dimensions. And Jo has A LOT to deal with this year. She might die in the next chapter. Or she might not. BUT DEATH IS INEVITABLE, RIGHT?

Thank you!

-teh


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Review #4, by Roisin A Gentle Snow of Pianofortes

3rd October 2014:
Yay!!! I'm so glad you are continuing with this AMAZING story!

I loved so many things in this chapter! The unexpected directions of the sexual tension, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Pita Bread, all the stuff that comes out of The James' pockets, the fact that Jo calls him The James!

And I'm really stoked on how you're developing all these weird little threads. Like how Nora was Filch in her past life! Or the assassin from another dimension!

It's all brilliant! I can't wait for another chapter!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Roisin! ♥

Glad to see you here for the latest chapter! THANK YOU for your lovely review. Gah, I enjoyed writing this chapterrr, and I'm so flattered and amused that you think this story is amazing? Hahaha! ♥

Life is like a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Pita Bread. You never know what you're gonna get! :P

I'm surprised myself that I chose to develop these weird strands of story. I thought the whole thing would inevitably end up to be cluttered with random dead-end details. But they're continuing, it seems. Nora is/was Filch. Oh dear. :P

Thank you, mydear! I can't say when the next chapter will be up...but I'll try not to take too long. :D

-teh


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Review #5, by milominderbinder The Curse of Carkett Close

15th September 2014:
teh

this is actually too amazing for words

okay just a teeny tiny review because i am skipping off to read the next chapter immediately! i can't believe it's taken me this long to read this - i've had it open on my computer for several weeks and never found a moment to read, but now i am here and i am never leaving this story, okay?

geez, i seriously thought i was gonna pee myself laughing at several parts of this. dry absurdity is my alltime absolute favourite kind of humour, and of course you pull it off perfectly, you stupidly talented author you. wow, i wish i could write humour like this.

i loved the nods to canon characters throughout it! the 'creevey' at the end was so hard hitting, it was insane. and!!! padma and lavender's daughter!!! i mean she would be fab already if she was just another OC, but the fact that she's /padma and lavender's daughter/ is just... it's beyond perfect. you made me ship those two so hard i will never recover from it tbh.

okay i'm heading onto the next chappie now!!

~Maia

Author's Response: asldkjlkasd Maia ♥

Gah, thank you for stopping by!! AND reading this completely daft fic of mine AND leaving such a lovely surprise review! I don't care how long it takes anybody to read my stories, I'm just so happy that my writing is being read at all! THANK YOU!

I am fairly sure that you'd be a brilliant humour writer if you ever give the genre a try! You're an absolutely fabulous writer! ♥

And yay for Padma and Lavender's daughter! I'm quite surprised at how excited some reviewers (including you) are about this. Now I really want to write Padma and Lavender again. Hmmm, maybe...the plunnies are beginning to form...

Ah, thank you so much, Maia! I hope you enjoy the next chapter! :)

-teh


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Review #6, by my_voice_rising (it's me! really!) The Curse of Carkett Close

14th September 2014:
HIYA. First of all, thank you for coming to my rescue. Maybe you're aware, maybe you aren't, that I sent up a bat signal of PLEASE COME REVIEW MY STORY DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG??? And lo and behold, there's a lovely new review in my inbox.

The one good thing about not reading any HPFF in ages is that when I come back, I have so many new shiny stories of yours to pick through. You know I salivate, covet and borderline cult-worship your writing, but this! So new, so different from what I've read! I love your angst stories but guess what, miss lady, you are also SO GOOD at humor. This has all the silly little oddities of JKR's writing--the bricks spitting black tar, the Engorgio'd lawn mowers, the decree that nobody is allowed to birth a child in the Close. But there's still your signature kind of dark tone...

Basically, I am in love.

PATIL-BROWN. She's the adopted... oh my... I... *heavy breathing* this is the best idea in the world. And it's even better because it kind of follows along "A Lightness," which was amazing.

And here we see where your challenge prompt comes into play. Wow! Just wow. You remind me a bit of Douglas Adams there, especially this line: Thatís Nora: a spliced-soul Inter-Dimensionalist Politician and Multi-Tasker Extraordinaire. And a terrible cook. I love it!

So the Prophet has REALLY gone downhill. I can clearly see those headlines, and the kind of publication it's become. *cough* Royal Wedding *cough*

I love the description of the apartment--as disgusting as it is! Flushing the cake down the toilet was a nice touch. I know it's a bit weird but we get such a good glimpse into Johanna's character just by that one action. But why would she make any attempt at taking care of herself, if she knows she's going to die when she's 27? In fact, this whole chapter has a cohesive theme to it, in terms of grubby imagery--the mound of cake, the flat, the bar, the clowns. It all ties in together so wonderfully, and I can see the Close so clearly.

Your characterization of James is so unique, too. A Seer? I like that you've taken the "Hogwarts's most eligible bachelor" thing to the extreme--divorcing his third wife! His ability to see into the future is definitely going to come into play, especially with Johanna's life. And I love Nora sniffing indignantly, "Yeah, but I can see my past, sooo..."

Lastly, I applaud your characterization of these mercenaries. They're not the "loose cannon, devil-may-care, angst-ridden, stoic" assassin-type we see so often. You've taken some prevalent fic-tropes (which I'm guilty of loving) and made them really interesting!

Creevey! Any relation to Colin? And the clowns just go to sweeping him out the door.

Well I'm hooked. This is amazing--I know all I do is gush over your writing, but it's wonderful, and I'm so glad I have a nice new HP fic to read! Lovely work, as always.



Author's Response: AAAHHH OMG IT IS YOU!! HIHIHIHIHI



Ooh, no, I don't think I saw your bat signal! But I saw that you'd updated your story, so I made a note to swing by and read...well, I'm quite late hahaha! And bah, I understand about the whole reviews thing. Reviews are pretty hard to come by, even if you do update regularly. Which is not me, by the way. :D

Wah, thanks for stopping by and leaving this lovely review! For this utterly ridiculous story. :P This is...well, this is...it's hard to explain how or why I even started writing this. Just to relieve stress I guess. And I must say I had far too much fun coming up with all the crap in this chapter. (The next chapter, if you do read it, is even stupider - just a warning).

AHHAHAH Nora Patil-Brown AHAHA. Some of the other reviews have flailed at her being Lavender and Padma's daughter, and I'm very flattered that she got such a reaction!! She's a bit strange, though. An Inter-Dimensionalist indeed. Well, Lavender wasn't exactly the sanest of people in the books hahaha. I've never read any Douglas Adams, but I heard he's good. So thank you!!

Ooh, love the way you analyse Joanna's shabby lifestyle and all. I'm glad you found some cohesiveness with the whole chapter - now that you put things way, it does read a little better. (I wrote these two chapters without any planning, and I shall continue to do so with the rest of this fic).

Oh, now I remember a little about starting this story! Your comment about the assassin-type tropes reminded me! This was originally going to be a serious story. Jo was going to be a hard-as-nails assassin girl etc. etc. I actually started writing part of the first chapter of THAT story. And ended up feeling pretty silly. I deleted everything. And wrote this instead. I'm not sure that this is much of an improvement! :P And James the Fortune Teller. I mean, he's usually a Quidditch star and everything. Why not make him a Divination genius (or fraud)?

Creevey is Dennis Creevey, because he's kind of a running gag in my stories. He always pops up randomly.

THANK YOU, Sarah!! ♥ You're the best!! This was such a lovely surprise!!!


-teh


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Review #7, by marauderfan The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

15th August 2014:
I don't even know how to properly review this chapter, because it's so silly and so brilliant. So I'm just going to point out things I liked. (Be prepared tfor a long list.)

The alliteration of everything in Carkett Close, including its residents like Alistair Apples who plays the vuvuzela in One Dimension. Thanks for pointing out the shocking lack of vuvuzela musicians in real life, it's quite a tragedy really.

Stone figurines that swallow the entire universe. And it's just casually referred to that they found out the hard way. I hope to hear the full story one day because it sounds exciting. Also, am I reading HP fanfic or an episode of Doctor Who?

Nora zaps into her princess dimension at the most inconvenient of times.

The potential zombie apocalypse, just because.

A mustard coloured submarine which is probably hotdog shaped, and smells like hot dogs and mustard. Hahaha I don't even know why that's as funny as it is, but it made me laugh. Also it must be a pretty strong smell if they can detect the mustard smell from the shore.

Lily-Lou, the Devil Incarnate, but actually the Devil Incarnate, not just an exaggeration.

Jo's full name! Joanna Anna Mannering - why would her parents do that to her? Hahaha.

Nora catches a pie with her face. The wording of this made me snort with laughter.

The entire clown/fire/vuvuzela/wishes scene. Just... what. I'm glad her most useless wish came true, although eek that's a lot of clowns.

Okay, so I've basically just summarized your whole chapter for you, which was probably unnecessary, but it's so enjoyable and every line is brilliant. This fic is so creative and so absurd and original and so maybe this means I have weird taste in fic, but I love it. Please keep writing this forever.

Author's Response: HELLOO! ♥

Ooh, thanks for this lovely surprise review! Lovely to see you again at this story which has escaped the loony bin for madcap stories that have lost their plots.

And now, here's me answering your list!

I adore alliteration! Expect more of this! Maybe even characters who only speak in words starting with the letter 'C'. Oh boy, that'll be a challenge. :P

About the stone figurines: I didn't even think twice when I was writing that. Maybe I just might write about what happened to those and how exactly Jo and co. learnt it 'the hard way'.

Gotchump-Altruists clearly have a different sense of time from inhabitants of This Dimension.

ZOMBIESSS!!!

That would be the yellow submarine from the octopus's garden. That being said, I'm not the hugest fan of The Beatles.

Lily-Lou as the Devil! TAKE ME LITERALLY. VERY LITERALLY.

The rest of your review is about clowns. Eep, I don't like clowns. Why must they paint their faces like that. I'm going to ignore them clowns. Even if this fic is officially Funky Clown Town.

THANK YOU, M'LOVE! ♥

I MAY JUST WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON.

-teh


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Review #8, by crestwood The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

12th August 2014:
All of the praise in my previous review carries over into this one, but I will try my hardest to leave a bit of substance in this one as well.

You asked about your use of first person point of view and I think you've done an excellent job here. You're writing in present tense as well and I didn't notice any transgressions, which is incredibly difficult to get right in my experience.

Also, I have to ask...are you a troper?! You seem to have a really complex knowledge of the conventions of humor and how to exploit them so if you don't frequent tvtropes I don't understand exactly how you do this.

This is almost surrealist in a sense. That's definitely the first time I've said that about fan fiction, but it really is. Absurdist humor is my calling card when it comes to original fiction, so I really enjoy reading it in all of it's many forms.

I loved your use of the context of a zombie apocalypse to describe the setting. I love the dancing spell. I love "Works like magic. Well, you know."

- And here I am catching myself before I slip back into the pattern of my last review that I've sworn to avoid in favor of actual coherent observation.

Okay, summary said that Lily is the devil incarnate and I didn't blink twice but now she's harvesting souls at Hogwarts and I can't hold back a laugh at how naive I was to think that you wouldn't actually make her the devil, even after reading the first chapter.

Your use of the brick joke with the whole birthday wish and One Dimension thing was hilarious. It's almost as if you take everything that I think you wouldn't/couldn't make a joke out of and bring it back at random like "Hey, remember this one off reference in the last chapter? Yeah, well it's going to make you laugh out loud right now in your living room and now you're going to have to explain what was so funny and then you'll spend half an hour explaining the nuances of Meta humor and creative writing in a pre-constructed world to your poor old confused mother."

Also, I just read your Author's Note and you are aware of tvtropes, I knew it!

Anyway, this was great. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Thank you for the request, I hope my reviews made a tiny bit of sense.

Author's Response: THIS REVIEW HAS MADE MY DAY. Absolutely!!

Just because you asked me if I'm a troper! Bahahaha!! I love TVTropes, but I don't frequent it often. Only because everytime I enter the site, I get sucked into this black hole and end up clicking link after link and reading and reading and I never resurface. People go on about how Tumblr is destroying them, but for me, it's TVTropes. So I try to keep my distance. BUT YEAH I LOVE THAT SITE. I love film and TV and pop culture. I love film and TV and pop culture deconstructed. I love their brand of humour.

I don't think I've ever had any of my writings described as 'surrealist' before! I thank you for this! :D I'm fond of Absurdist humour as well, sometimes!

And it's great to hear that the first person POV isn't jarring or stilted. I was quite worried about that; it's been a long time since I wrote anything longer than a oneshot in first person.

Lily is the Devil Incarnate!! Haha, you're the second reviewer to mention not taking the summary seriously and being surprised at Lily. I don't blame you, though. The summary is just plain ridiculous. Turns out that you /can/ put spoilers in your summary, as long as readers don't take you seriously. :P

Ah, I hope you made a cup of tea for your 'poor old confused mother' after sitting her down and attempting to explain to her "the nuances of meta humour and creative writing in a pre-constructed world".

And I adore running gags sometimes. So I may have a few in this fic!

Thank you so so much once again for both your amazing and flattering reviews! They've made my whole week, and of course they made sense! I shall try and finish the next chapter and post it up as soon as!



-teh


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Review #9, by crestwood The Curse of Carkett Close

12th August 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here for your requested review!

I don't know what I was expecting after reading that introduction, but I know I wasn't nearly prepared for this. This was just so entertaining. This is the exact kind of story I was hoping I'd be requested for when I said I wanted something experimental. I think this review will soon evolve into a simple list of things I loved about this, I'm afraid.

I suppose I should begin. The things I love about this chapter include, but are not limited to:

First, I loved how in depth you went into the various ways to get past The Wall and into the Close and then following all of that up with "or you can just Apparate in"

I love that Carks have it *okay* in life and then abruptly die at 27. Even if you didn't purposely reference the 27 Club.

I love that dying by way of falling grand piano is called classic. I love the way Jo casuaully talks about these people's tragic, early deaths. I love the strange world you've crafted. I love the reveal of Jo's age.

I love everything about Nora's backstory. You found a way to make a drunk old man who's a reincarnated princess even more outrageous than that sounds. I love that she splits time between dimensions more than I can find words to express.
I love the telepathic mould and I love that it taunts Jo. I love that Clowns run the bar. I love that they have such hilarious alliterative names. I love the last line of this.

This put the strangest questions in my head. Why does James Potter continue to marry these woman if he supposedly can see that their marriage will end in divorce? What if the Daily Prophet really DID mean that James Potter would literally be hitting the Three Broomsticks? Where did they get that kind of insider information? What are gender politics like in the kingdom of Gotchump-Altruissia? Are they fine with a princess in a leadership role or do they have the same problems with sexism we have here in this dimension?

Those were all very legitimately questions that sprung to mind while I read this. I'm sorry that I'm making almost no sense at all but I'm not sure if it's possible to read this story and feel in the mood for leaving a normal review. I'm going to just favorite this and move on to the next chapter before I write another thousand words.

Author's Response: Hey crestwood!

Wow, thank you SO MUCH for this amazingly detailed review! And the whole myriad of compliments that you left me! ♥ I wasn't really going to request any reviews for this fic, but I happened to be skulking around your review thread, in which you mentioned that you liked reading 'experimental' stories so I decided to drop in a request on a whim! Gah, I'm so glad I did!

And I LOVE that you've pointed out all the parts of the fic which you liked. I had waaay too much fun with this; I wrote it on impulse and without any planning. So, I currently have no idea which way this fic is going to go, and I only intend to find out as I write each chapter! :P

Pretty much anything that crosses my mind while I'm writing is somehow incorporated into the narrative. And that is how we have clown bars and telepathic mould and the 27 Club curse and so on.

I'm so pleased that you like Nora's backstory and rather ridiculous existential situation, even though she isn't the main OC.

Ah, I love reading your questions! I'll probably be answering some of those questions of yours as this fic progresses. Be warned, though: I may not give you entirely serious answers.

Your review made utter and complete sense. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THIS, and for favouriting it aksjdlkajfls ♥

-teh


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Review #10, by The_Crookshanks_Saga The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

11th August 2014:
Whenever you want to update, dearie, whenever you want to update. As in NOW, please!

This is one of my favorite humor fics, right up there with etc. etc. (justonemorefic) and Here we go again (siobhan_malfoy). The times I laughed out loud while reading this... well, that number's up in the thousands.


STARTING FROM NOW, IT IS NOT OPPOSITE DAY
Now, I have something to tell you, something you've never ever heard before.
DON'T UPDATE SOON.

-Meena

Author's Response: aslkjdlas

Hello Meena!

...and you're comparing this to the legendary Gina/justonemorefic!?! *falls to the ground weeping*

THANK YOU for your amazing-as-chicken-nuggets review!

Right! I get it! NOT Opposite Day! Not updating anytime soon!

*types furiously*

I have one last question: DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN?



^ if you zoom in, you'll see a snowman,



-teh


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Review #11, by LadyLikable The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

7th August 2014:
And, as usual, I'm THE WORST at reviewing. So, as usual, I figure a short n' sweet message to let the author know I read, and I loved, will have to be enough. Seriously, this whole thing felt like an LSD trip. Love it. (And this time I even bothered to log in before reviewing, go me!) See you among the reviews of the next chapter ;)

Author's Response: Pahahaha, a very BAD LSD trip this is! Yay! Thank you for this lovely, sweet review! I'm so glad you came back to read! ♥

-teh


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Review #12, by Roisin The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

6th August 2014:
This story is so amazingly delightfully weird! I don't even know where to start: clowns jumping from hoops made of clowns, mood-changing robes corresponding to Luna's mood rather than Lizzy's--if I made an exhaustive list of everything I loved, I would bump up against the character limit just by listing quotes.

I guess in the broadest sense, I liked how this chapter really ran with the meta-pop-culture-and-fandoms stuff. TV Trope language, describing a location in terms of a zombie movie, all that. (Also, clever, because they end up taking polyjuice of corpses--kinda like zombies).

And if one quote summarized everything I loved about this chapter, it would be: "She smells of fruit salad and steaming cocoa and store-bought cotton and cough medicine. She also smells of tar and brimstone and eternal despair and sulphur, lots of sulphur."

And I know you SAID in the description that Lily was the devil incarnate--but I didn't think you were being literal. That. Was. Amazing.

I can't wait for another installment!!!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Hello again, Roisin!

Oh goodness, at some point while I was writing, I just sort of jammed in as many details as possible...no matter how absurd. The first thing that comes to mind, and I'm writing that into the fic. And that is how we have things like clowns jumping through hoops made of more clowns and whatnot.

I'm really curious to see what effect this has on the readers, and so far your reviews have been so amazingly entertaining! :P

Yep, this fic occasionally slips into a meta conversation with pop culture because POP CULTURE is THE MATRIX.

From your review, I learnt that it's totally OK to put spoilers in your summary, as long as readers don't take you seriously! :P Not too long ago, I saw someone had put in their summary, "So-and-so is literally the devil." I clicked on the fic and read a bit, and of course the character wasn't the literal devil.

The only way to read this clownfest of a story is to take everything literally. :P

Thank you so much, my dear! ♥

-teh


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Review #13, by Aphoride The Curse of Carkett Close

4th August 2014:
Omigosh, so, okay, when I saw this on your page, I just had to come read it. A teh-style parody with a bunch of wacky characters and a girl who's both a reincarnated drunk old man and a princess? Yes please! :D

This was just amazing. I'm not usually a big fan of parodies because often they're either too cynical/sarcastic or just not very funny and kinda miss the whole point of it all, but this is just... well, there's no way you could take it seriously. And that makes it brilliant.

I love Jo. She's so real, which seems almost strange to say in this world, but she is. She's surprisingly unbothered by things, lacks motivation, but it really brave underneath it all and just sort of gets on with things. In the context of the story, she's almost dull compared to the others characters, except she's got this wonderfully unique voice which is just amazing.

Nora is probably my favourite though. You can't really explain her without smiling and she's just such a wonderful, brilliant and interesting character. I kinda wanna know what the other dimension is like (will we ever see it? It would be pretty cool) and where she's come from. She's such a mysterious character, but she feels like she could be living next door to you.

Lizzy just makes me laugh. All the time.

The whole world you've built here is probably my favourite thing about this, though. It's just... amazing. It expands so nicely onto JK's world that it almost feels like it's just another bit we didn't really hear about before, and yet it's so different. It's totally wacky and weird and I love that. The name's are all so great, too - Carkett Close is genius! - though having a Horseshoe pub is a bit weird for me since I used to live near a Horseshoe pub... O.o but nm. The idea of the curse on the street is so good, too, and should be sad but isn't... I think it's because Jo just deals with it in such a sarcastic way :P

The details and writing, as ever, are gorgeous. Particularly the details - I loved all the little bits about the falling pianos and enlarged lawn mowers and sentient mould, and the chain of command question (God or a goblin? :P)... gah, just all of it. Again, I'm amazed by how different the style is here to other stories - tell me your secrets! :P You're so adaptable, it's just so impressive. I also loved all the little nods to pop culture, haha, though I won't list them here ;)

Ooh, and James Potter... so mysterious. Though I like how he's moving through wives, haha, and the Daily Prophet reporting so much on a single, relatively uninteresting event, except it's being reported on the same level as the end of the world. I'm so curious to meet him - I'm guessing the task is to look after him or something? And I like how he's a Seer - very cool!

Also, I have a soft spot for the clowns. And Creevey (Dennis?) :P

I'm so sorry if this is semi-incomprehensible, though I'm not really sorry because I loved this and I'm so glad I read it :)

This is being favourited and followed. Almost obsessively :P

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!! ♥

Aaahhh, thank you for this amazing review!?!

I'm not a great fan of too many cynical/sarcastic parodies either, but I do love crack!fic and ridiculousness told with a completely straight tone.

Yup, that sounds like Jo alright! 'Lacking motivation' is an excellent way to describe her. But I suppose if you're cursed to die pretty soon, you're going to lack a lot of motivation as well...and yeah, despite this curse and everything, she does seem the normallest out of everybody present. :P I'm so glad you liked her voice! I was a little out of practice with writing first person POV when I started this fic, but your review makes me feel a lot better.

And I'm glad you like Nora with all her mystery. She's the epitome of the mysterious girl with the mysterious past, which is coming to her in 'flashes' of remembering. :P

And the world that you're reading about is just me botching JKR's wonderful wizarding world and inserting random details here and there. I don't even know how I came up with some of the details like enlarged lawn mowers and whatnot. And pop culture references abound in this story. JUst because they're fun! I've always wanted to write something crammed with the silliest, most irrelevant pop culture references (the obscurer, the better) so I sound like someone who knows a whole tonne of things (but actually I probably watch too much TV and just googled a lot of stuff up.).

James Potter, ha! I haven't quite decided what sort of character he's going to be. He'll definitely make his first appearance in the third chapter. Here's to hoping that he doesn't disappoint!

Awww, thank you so so much for this brilliant review, Laura! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU'D FOLLOW SOMETHING SO RIDICULOUS AS THIS ♥ THANK YOU!!

-teh


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Review #14, by Roisin The Curse of Carkett Close

31st July 2014:
So this is pretty much the best thing I've read IN THE EVER. I really hope you continue adding chapters--it is so brilliant!

I don't actually know where to begin on this review, aside from general squeeing. How about the story summary? BEST STORY SUMMARY. You won at story summaries.

The language was really amazing--so frenetic and funny and psychadelic. Your knack for description that I loved so much in "Growth" is still here, but more pared down. It suits the comedy of the story really well. And the way you formatted (italics/bold) was a really nice touch. It's amazing to read something whimsical and unorthodox, but also REALLY well written. The story clearly doesn't take itself seriously, but much of the prose still shines!

I could honestly go through sentence by sentence and say something I loved about it.

SO, since there is no value to this review aside from "!!!1!!111!", I will just say: please do finish this story!

Oh yeah: like one or two spelling or grammar thingies, but whatever.

*onelastsquee*
~Roisin

Author's Response: :O

alskdjlak THANK YOU for this amazing and totes unexpected review!! ♥ This is such a lovely surprise! (I also just read your response to my review, and I had no idea that you'd read 'Growth'!! Aww, thank you!! I'm so pleased you liked it!)

And oh dear, oh dear, this story!!! Hahaha, it started off as a bit of a joke. I put up the first chapter with minimal editing, and I have no idea how this thing will turn out, actually! It's a plan-as-you-go kind of fic. For stress relief and whatnot. That being said, I'm pleased to announce that the second chapter's been in the queue for some days now!

And I'm pretty stoked that you like the summary! It took me ages trying to get a summary that sounded nonsensical enough, but which would also not exceed the annoying character limit.

There's certainly much less description here than in 'Growth'. 'Growth' was incredibly difficult to write and balance out all that description, but this piece is all just 'anything-goes'. Your comments on my use of language was just a;lskd;lkasx squeeworthy THANK YOU.

No, not seriously at all! This story just /knows/ that it's a story.

I have no idea what or how the ending even looks like! But I'll do my best to get there somehow, by whatever strange and very out-of-this-world route I must take. :P

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR THIS!!!11!1


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Review #15, by marauderfan The Curse of Carkett Close

24th July 2014:
Omg... Teh, this is the most brilliant. I think I saw it appear in the recently added list a while back, but I didn't realise it was you! Ahh I just love everything about it. You had me at the line "drunk old man reincarnated as a princess."

So... My prediction: Jo is going to be (or secretly already is) a musician. Because they all die at 27.

Lavender Brown and Padma Patil. Thereís quite a story behind how they got together -- YES THERE IS AND YOU WROTE IT AND IT'S BRILLIANT! Hah, I love the reference to A Lightness here. How meta. (Ps, so Lavender didn't die at the end of that! I always did wonder. :P )

Nora can see the past. What a unique ability. It's almost like she can tell when it's already raining. Sidenote, I love that James is a renowned fortune teller. And I loved your (not so) sly dig at sensationalised media with all the couple names (Jellie.. haha) and the headlines of the Daily Prophet. ELDEST SON OF HARRY POTTER TO HIT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS ON AUGUST 31st. -- just, pure gold.

One Dimension. God, this is hilarious. WHERE DID THIS FIC COME FROM?

TELEPATHIC MOULD. I REALLY JUST CAN'T WITH THIS STORY.

I sympathise with her about having to work on her birthday, though. Sidenote: What exactly IS her job? I think she has a lot of fancy words but no actual job. :P

It used to be the Carkett Close Apothecary, but then the owner turned twenty-seven and got run over by the Knight Bus. -- Aahaha. There is something so hilariously blunt in the way Jo narrates it and throws in the random tidbits about dying, it reminds me a little of Kurt Vonnegut. (and that's a huge compliment as I love Vonnegut)

The bar is owned by clowns. Of course. I'm learning to not be surprised by anything in this story because it's all so mad. All the clowns names had me laughing out loud. And the fact that anytime Sleazy speaks, he is accompanied by the adverb "sleazily." Hahaha

Lysander Scamander! Ooh, this is going to be good. I love him already, how he's wearing blindingly bright yellow robes. And look, there's DENNIS CREEVEY! I appreciated his cameo in here. I think he's been in like 95% of your fics. :D

Sorry this review degenerated into ASKJLDLFJKWH-ing, but I really have no words. This fic is completely brilliant and mad and I have no idea how it even ended up existing, but whatever you did, keep doing it. I'm favouriting this for sure. ♥

Author's Response: Kristin! ♥

You've discovered my *cough* not so secret story, which I've been trying to shove under the table and let nobody see. :P Bahaha, thanks for this awesome and lovely shouty review! Love it when reviewers hit capslock.

Teehee, I had this story floating about my brainspace for some time, and only when I signed up for that challenge did I sit down to write it and I did try to fit that weird and wacky prompt in.

Jo a musician? :O She doesn't sound particularly musically gifted to me. :P Look, she doesn't even like One Dimension, a band that almost everybody in the wizarding world loves!

THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF META IN THIS FIC. BECAUSE MORE META IS BETA.

TELEPATHIC MOULD? THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF EVOLUTION IN THIS FIC AS WELL. AND CREATIONISM. AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

What is Jo's job indeed. The reason why she's being so obscure is because I hadn't decided while I was writing that chapter bahaha. Well, I've sort of decided now, I guess. This is a make-up-as-you-go sort of story. Planning-free! So I don't waste all my hours thinking of a coherent plot.

Ah, Vonnegut. So it goes, so it goes. :P

I have nothing to say about clowns. :P :P

And that /is/ Dennis Creevey indeed! You can always rely on him to turn up in the most unlikeliest of places.

Yeah, lol, I don't know how this ended up existing either, I don't even know how I myself ended up existing, or why anything else has...wait, a minute,,. EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.

You're favouriting this? Why would you do that?!?! You have a very...odd taste in fic.

THANK YOU KRISTIN ♥ ♥

teh


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Review #16, by magnifique11 The Curse of Carkett Close

19th July 2014:
There aren't adequate words to describe how much I loved this chapter. Jo and Nora are fantastic and I adore stories that have one or both of the Scamanders in them, and Lizzy sounds just perfect.

Looking forward to the next chapter and hopefully meeting James (who sounds like quite the character) soon!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Aww, thank you for stopping by and reading and taking the time to leave such a lovely review! I'm awfully flattered to hear such a positive response for this story, which I started on a whim. And I'm glad you like the characters! Lorcan may pop up some time in the future.

I hope to get the next chapter up soon! I'm writing it. :) Thanks again, love.

-teh


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Review #17, by silverashes The Curse of Carkett Close

18th July 2014:
Hullo, I'm in love with your story and all of it's characters. That was rather blunt, but I thought I'd put it all out there into the open. Joanna and Nora are both absolutely and positively entertaining. I like how different this story is. It has such a unique charm to it! My favorite quote was definitely this conversational gem:

-You mean that Anglo-Saxon burial mound?

-Yes, that was my inspiration for the cake. Here.

I actually laughed out loud. Not even figuratively, but quite literally. Please update soon!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello Rachel!

Gah, THANK YOU. I loved the bluntness of your opening statement! And I'm well flattered that you're so entertained by Jo and Nora. And I'm pleased I managed to induce real, literal laughter from you!

Many thanks for reading and taking the time to leave this smashing review! ♥

-teh


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Review #18, by LadyLikable The Curse of Carkett Close

17th July 2014:
Oh my gosh this is so quirky! Love it!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for reading! This really means a lot to me. ♥ Glad you enjoyed this!

-teh


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Review #19, by MissesWeasley123 The Curse of Carkett Close

8th July 2014:
HELLO TEH WHAT IS THIS DID YOU EVEN ANNOUNCE THIS??? Also teh writing a next gen which is not sad like omg yess?? Also, comment on Nora before I actually begin: I can see my own past. LOL. BEST. THING. IN THIS CHAPTER.

So obviously loving the Excel speadsheet reference LOL. This fic is waaay too funny! and aahaha the way you did CURSED was TOO good! :P I loved it.

Nora and Jo are TOO FUNNY. I really love this story lol. Jo's internal monologue is the best and obviously that last line too :P I love Nora and her ability to see the past she is so talented ;)

AND THE HEADLINES ONE MUST TALK ABOUT THE HEADLINES!!! They are so funny! THIS IS THE BESTEST THING EVER: Next page on the newspaper: LEGENDARY MYSTIC JAMES POTTER II DISCOVERS THE SECRET TO ONENESS WITH THE UNIVERSE. #dead to be frank. How can you write such dark fics and then write this??? TEACH THE HUMANS YOUR WAYS. This story is too great and another one I'll have to favourite and keep and eye on!

I really really love this and love you. Overall, brilliant start and I cannot wait for an update!

House cup 2014 review!
~Go Gryffies and BRAZIL ♥

Author's Response: HELLO NADIA

YOU DISCOVERED MY SECRET STORY. I have been found out. o.O This was meant to be a secret from the whole world, hence my not-announcing this anywhere. :P It is SUCH a random, nonsensical story and I don't know where it goes. Because this will be a planning-free kinda fic, just to relieve stress and whatnot.

Excel is awful. Try spending eight hours a day doing Excel.

NORA CAN SEE HER OWN PAST. (I have a secret: she's based on me, because I too can see my own past!!!)

And James Potter what the hell. Oneness with the universe. The meaning of life. Oh well, why not?! He's always a Quidditch player elsewhere. :P

How on earth can you favourite this? You have a very strange taste in fic.

BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ♥ ♥

-teh

PS: Unfortunately, we all know what happened to Brazil by now. Maybe in four years' time. :P


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Review #20, by randomwriter The Curse of Carkett Close

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Hello teh! So I was doing what I do when I'm bored, which is quite often-- stalking your page when I came across this lovely addition. This happened a couple of days ago, before the task when I was at the height of my procrastination cycle (I had a particularly important paper due in about two hours). I'd started reading this when I friend dropped in and stayed for a few hours. So I didn't really get a chance to come back to this immediately. I'm sort of glad though, seeing as the very next task was a reviewing task.

But now there's a problem. You see, you stories are not meant for speedy house cup reviews. You stories are meant for novel length reviews and unacceptable amounts of gushing. This is quite possibly why you're one of my favourites over here, and this, this is a good example of why.

It's been far too long since I visited your AP and this might be the best comeback, really. This story seems like it's written for me. Actually. Inexplicable, odd curses about dying? Drunken old men, reincarnated as princesses? Sleazy clown barkeeps? this story just has everything!

I don't really know where to start, so I'll go with the opening (Strap yourself in. I'm throwing my attempt at a concise review out of the window). The opening segment was really well written. I love how it just drew me in. It wasn't heavy, and you gave the reader just enough information to be curious and interested. When I say it drew me in, I mean that when I started reading it this time, I actually didn't pull away for a second, so well done. If there ever was a guide to writing intros, I have found it.

I also like how you carried it forward through the rest of your story. The writing is really engaging and it's hard to stop, honestly. The idea behind this story is unique and interesting. But since it's quite a concept, I guess the narration is of utmost importance, and I cannot fault you on that.

I love, LOVE the muggle references that you've so carelessly (seemingly) strewn about. It makes me wonder about her heritage :p But she was born at the Close, so perhaps half-blood? The excel, dying at 27, Ronald McDonald wig, big boss and so many other references that I'm not going to dig out and list here because I'm certain you know them yourself. :p Anyway, genius. I'm usually put off by unnecessary muggle references, but you made them fit. They made so much sense, and made this so much more interesting to read.

Another thing I adored is the characterisation. You're introducing us to two OCs in one chapter, which can be quite heavy for the reader sometimes. You managed to do it without making it seem too expository. I loved the characters you wrote about over here. Nora is so interesting and Joanna herself is great to read about (?). I love the voice. So I guess I like how Joanna thinks and perceives things. These characters are so different from your run-of-the-mill OCs and they're so much more interesting. Even James Potter here is so different from how he's usually written. I've never read about him being a divination genius, of all things :p But you somehow made it work!

How can I leave you a review without talking about your mad writing skills, teh? It's my favourite part about reading your work. I love the flow here. I love how easy it is to read, and how smoothly it all goes. I love how you've found the most perfect balance in terms dialogue and description. There is so much description. It makes it more easy to picture. It also drew me in further. Then you've supplemented that with witty dialogue. I don't know if I can tell you enough how much I loved the dialogue! I have already established that you're the queen of descriptions, but I never knew that you were skilled with dialogue as well. I'm now going to be eternally jealous of your inimitable talents.

This story kept me curious for most part. As I said, with a plot like this, it seems right up my street. I love such stories and I can't tell you how happy I am that you're writing this. You're one of my favourite authors, writing what has the potential to become one of my favourite stories ever. It made me chuckle in so many places as well. And I adore humour. Even in the driest sense.

I'm favourite this and adding it to my currently reading list, but if you still don't tell me whenever you update this, I'm going to throw a fit. You have been warned.

Great story, love. *insert the cool heart thing you always insert, but I sadly don't know how to*
This was love, love, love. :)

Author's Response: ADI

WHAT IS THIS REVIEW

WHAT IS THIS

WHAT I DO WITH THIS.

♥ ♥

I have zero idea how to respond to this wall o' text of awesome lovely goodness and praise that I clearly don't deserve. Waaah.

First of all, I did not know that you stalk my page! PLEASE, never leave! ♥

And -cries- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OK, you have an extremely odd taste in fanfiction. Sleazy barkeeps? Random Muggle references? People who die for no reason? I never knew you liked these sorts of things. I can only say that things will get weirder and more madcap as the story goes on, though honestly at this point, I have planned nothing. And I don't even know when or if this will ever be complete. But I'm having fun with this right now!!

Random unexplained Muggle references muaha! I have no idea what some of them are doing in there. But I'd just like to think that Jo is a Muggle-savvy and pop culture-savvy character. And gah, I think you're the only reviewer to get the reference to the 27 club! I am so so pleased about this! *hugs*

Aww, I'm glad you like the characters! I'm surprised, actually. I thought that some of them would be too crazy and unrealistic for people to like them. I mean, princesses of other dimensions? :P And James Potter has yet to appear; I'm still figuring him out, but YES JAMES THE DIVINATION GENIUS because why not? He's always a sexy Quidditch player or an Auror or whatnot. How about we have some fun with him, eh. :P

aslkdjlkjas your comments on dialogue on description THANK YOU ADI. ♥ Seriously, I'm still flailing about because I don't know how to thank you enough for all the support you show for my writing, and it really means a lot to me.

To insert hearts in a review, just type & hearts; but without the space. HAVE FUN.

And much love! ♥

-teh


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Review #21, by The_Crookshanks_Saga The Curse of Carkett Close

6th July 2014:
Love this. Only Gotchump-Altruists could make me laugh at this ungodly hour. Good night.

-Meena

Author's Response: Baha! I'd think that they're actually a pretty square, austere bunch. Thanks so much for reading!

-teh


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