Reading Reviews for The Chosen One
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarlightAsteria Prologue: The Prophecy

9th August 2014:
Hi Melissa!

For your first time writing, this is very very good - you genuinely had me fooled :)

Dialogue, characterisation - everything spot on :) The only thing I would say is more description please! Really go for it with the pub, Malfoy Manor and Voldemort.

Keep writing - a very promising beginning to the story :)

Celi :)

Author's Response: Hi Celi!

Thank you so much! I have a little bit of writer's block with this story after the last chapter because I'm contemplating which direction to go in. I'm starting to reread everything to get more inspiration, I'm hoping to have more soon!

Thank you for your kind review :)

-Melissa


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Review #2, by Franklin Prologue: The Prophecy

20th July 2014:
Well we know that Snape wouldn't have stopped being a Death Eater if Lily hadn't been targeted so theres a big change right there.

Author's Response: Yeah he didn't hear the whole prophecy and Harry hadn't been born yet but Dumbledore always knew he could be useful. There's a possibility that Voldemort would target them later on though.

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Review #3, by Karou_Marauder Ten Years Later

9th July 2014:
Hello there! I think this is quite a commonly-used plot - THAT IS NOT A BAD THING! - and you've made it different to all the versions I've read. Most tend to focus on Harry, really, and Neville's side is very interesting.

I feel really sorry for Neville, how he's able to talk to them but can't tell them they're his parents. Why is that? That would be horrible, I think.

Augusta is quite firm with Neville, isn't she? You've given her the no-nonsense approach that we see in canon and it's done very well.

I have just one question: if Alice and Frank aren't dead, and no one took the curse for Neville, does that mean that there is no Chosen One?

Anyway, interesting start and I can't wait to see where it goes next!

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

Author's Response: Hello there! :) Neville is one of my favorite characters and I feel like there aren't many stories that show his side much and I wanted to explore that.


I remember in the books it's mentioned that he likes to visit his parents a lot but they don't recognize him, so I assumed that it was because something in their brains was so fried they lost parts of their memories which makes them very fragile, and they can't handle much human interaction without being overwhelmed.

I remember Augusta being strict with him and constantly being disappointed that he wasn't as great a wizard as his dad. But thank you :)I'm trying to keep the characters true to the books as possible.

I was thinking about that too, and since Voldemort was already making Horcruxes I was thinking that he wasn't taking the prophecy seriously and that's why he sent his Death Eaters to take care of the problem. Harry's life will be completely different because he's been raised by his loving parents, leaving Neville feeling like he has to prove himself. I don't want to spoil too many details, but thank you so much for your kind review :) I really appreciate it!


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Review #4, by SiriusAura92 The Unbreakable Vow

29th June 2014:
Hey,
Considering it's your first story, you've done a good job. I would strongly recommend adding in some more finer details such as Characteristics and the environment we're in.

I'd also suggest just sticking with the star border * when changing scene as opposed to just writing down where the scene is taking place.

Definitely keep it up and take the story to wherever you want, whether you put in one, two or ten stories! You're the author and the one in control.

Hope this helps,
SiriusAura92
:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've had trouble trying to keep the star border on one line, and I've always had a hard time with descriptions/characteristics so I will definitely work on that. I really appreciate your review :)

Melissa


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