Reading Reviews for Stand Tall
  
53 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Sudden Silence

28th March 2015:
Hello again!

I've finally made it back to read chapter 3! I would've gotten here sooner, but alas, life got in the way.

I'm happy to see that Alba's leg is healing properly. I know it must be frustrating to her to have her therapy stalled, but I'm glad that Nurse Wainscott isn't budging. The potential side affects of rushing her treatment are not worth the risk!

Something I've noticed through the different chapters is how Alba keeps a running tally between her and her cerebral palsy. It's a little detail, but it really helps me to imagine where she's at in different parts of the story. I'm glad that even when cerebral palsy is ahead, she doesn't give up!

I think it's kind of sweet that Ben is so infatuated with her. Asking someone out 57 times sure is a lot of dedication. The bit of jealousy between him and James was a nice touch. It was like watching two male gorillas beat their chests!

I chuckled a bit when I read the part about Neville assigning Alba detention in 3rd year for lighting a plant on fire. It's hard for me to imagine Neville as an enforcer of rules. I actually would imagine him being quite sympathetic towards Alba's struggles..although I guess lighting a plant on fire is pretty extreme.

I'm sure I'm starting to sound like a broken record when I tell you how much I truly like this story. I think you're doing an excellent job of portraying the struggles Alba might face on a day to day basis.

I noticed a few minor typos in this chapter. It wasn't anything major, but I thought I would point them out in case you wanted to fix them later.

"She woman’s voice stayed completely neutral" – the woman's

"tendon or ligament that the limb" – then the limb

practical applicatoin-practical application

This truly was a lovely chapter. I'm hoping to have a good amount of time to catch up on reading fairly soon and this is at the top of the list! Excellent work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #2, by alicia and anne Hands Touch

26th March 2015:
Alba is so different already and it really sets her apart from other main characters I've read about. It makes me want to know so much more about her.

Awww! And now I know where the story title came from! And she's met James! And it was an adorable first meeting! "Hullo, just-a-girl," I loved this! And he took her hand and they went in together! I want them to be the best of friends! :D

Hahaha I have a hilarious mental image of James just bursting into random compartments and puffing his chest out hahahah. :D

I love their chemistry with each other, they bounce off of each other so well and it's easy to tell how fantastically they get along with each other. :D You've written that brilliantly! It's so real and true to life. :D

I DO NOT LIKE THIS CHANDRA! She needs to leave and not be a big meanie!! I'm glad that Alba just whipped her wand out to clean out the mess. Go away Chandra! *Sticks tongue out*

A brilliant first chapter! It's so unique already and I cannot wait at all to read more of this, I can already tell is going to be, amazing story! And I can't wait to see how the Triwizard tournament plays in this!

Fantastic work! I cannot wait to read more of your beautiful work

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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged She's Who's Winsome

26th March 2015:
noo I wanted the chapter to go on for longer :( I'm so excited about this story. It's so original and well written and just generally fantastic.

This chapter was lovely. I like James at the beginning. His loyalty towards Alba is admirable (unless he did put her name in afterall, but at the moment I don't think that's likely), and their friendship is really sweet, although I think they probably need to have a proper chat soon. I'm intrigued about what's happening with Chandra. I wonder whether it was her that put Alba's name in the goblet? I'm guessing we won't know for a while but my theory is that whatever conflict James and Chandra had was something to do with Alba.

Ben's adorable. I'd like to know how he's feeling about everything, and whether he expected to be companion. My guess would be that he didn't really want or expect Alba to ask him to be companion but when she didn't he was still kind of disappointed. He's a much better friend to her than she realises and I hope she doesn't take him for granted.

The Durmstrang students are intriguing. I wonder whether Dimitri's going to be a bit of an ally for now or whether he's just being friendly to gain trust. Either way, Vesela seems like a real piece of work. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take their storylines. Presumably something interesting is going on between them if he chose her as his companion but is so quick to get angry with her as well?

Wonderful chapter. I hope you update soon!

Emma x

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Review #4, by The Baslisk Hands Touch

26th March 2015:
Hello, it'ss the Baslissk. Just on a sstroll down the hallsss when I came acrosss Alba here and I sssimply had to sstop in and ssay hi!

I am honestly so in love with this story! It's incredible. I'm not even sure how to begin to express my love for it. I love the way that neither you, nor the narration, are abelist, which just makes me want to sit here and grin. (Who am I kidding, I'm doing that already.) CP isn't one of the more used diseases/maladies in ff, and it was amazing to see it represented here. Your characterization is totally ace. Alba is well rounded, with flaws and good points, and despite her CP, she /isn't/ her CP, which is amazing to read. I'm rambling and just plain squeeing at this point, so I'll sign off. :P

I can't wait to see where you go with this plot, aaah!

(I've decided to post 44 letters hidden in reviews over the next little while. Each one of them has a character at the bottom. If you can find all 44 reviews (not all are out yet, so keep your eyes peeled) and rearrange the letters into a quote from Harry Potter and PM it to WriteYourHeartOut on the forums you could win a donation to HPFF in your name! There's a topic in the Off Topic Section if you want to collaborate your efforts!)


Thankss for the great read, I'm very glad to have read thisss.

The Basilisk

E

S

F

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Review #5, by mymischiefmanaged Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

22nd March 2015:
Just left you a review and forgot to mention - do you think it would be worth mentioning the tournament in your story summary? It looks like it's going to end up quite an action packed story and I'm not sure that comes across from the summary. It doesn't really matter either way but I thought it was worth pointing it out.

Love love love this story, looking forward to your next update.

Emma x

Author's Response: You're so right! I went back and fixed it. +)

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Review #6, by mymischiefmanaged Blithe Smile, Lithe Limb

22nd March 2015:
Absolutely loving this story. Alba's such an original character and you've made her feel very real. I like her stoicism. The friendship with James is lovely. You make them incredibly close but still their own people, and I like seeing James's relationship with somebody else at the same time. The whole Triwizard Tournament plot is really exciting and original, and I love the modifications you've made to the way it works. I'm super excited to see where you take this story, and will definitely keep reading on!

Emma x

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it enough to read all of it! This is really one of the first major original character I've done, so all the feedback is appreciated. The relationship dynamic between them is one that I really try and keep balanced and believable. Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #7, by TreacleTart Eyes Meet

21st March 2015:
Hello there!

So chapter 2 of Stand Tall! I was super excited when you requested this one for our swap!

I really love the character you've created in Alba. She is seriously the coolest. After being knocked down, she seems to inevitably pick herself back up and keep going. I really admire that!

I'm curious about the situation with James. Sounds like he might be feeling some things for her that she didn't expect. Between Chandra's comments and the jealous look on James' face, I'd bet he has a crush on Alba.

I was so happy to see Grawp make an appearance! We never really hear what happened to him after the war, so the idea that he ended up at Hogwarts with Hagrid really brought a smile to my face.

I thought it was a bit insensitive of Professor Pimbly to make Alba use her crutches in the middle of the Great Hall. He could of at least asked her to put them on once she got outside of it! I really appreciate Alba's reaction to that.

Of this chapter I think this was perhaps my favorite line "Examine the skin. Examine the muscle. Examine the wound. Forget the girl. This line was brilliant." It really gives you a good feel for what she is going through.

I did happen to come across two small typos, but they are pretty minor in the scheme of things.

"eyebrows drawing together over penciled in eyes" Maybe I'm just misunderstanding this one, but how do you have penciled in eyes? Was it supposed to be penciled in eyebrows? Forgive me if I'm just being dense here.

"Alba continued the her journey" Either take out the or her. Either way is fine.

Overall, another good chapter! I feel quite invested in this character and will have to keep reading to see what happens!

~Kaitlin

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Review #8, by hokiechick Blithe Smile, Lithe Limb

20th March 2015:
Aaaaugh! What do you mean didn't put her name in, James???

I see what you did there, by the way. You let me go on and on hating James and badmouthing him in my comments and you were sitting on this bombshell the whole time! Now my top suspect is Chandra because James was making her enter with him and she would of course underestimate Alba and didn't want to enter herself. And James put a blank bit of parchment in.

You sneaky author, you! Well done with the chapter, can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: Bahaha! I think this is my favorite review so far!

And yes, it was rather amusing reading all the comments about James. +)

There will certainly be more to come, and I can't wait to hear what you think about it.


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Review #9, by crestwood Don't Wish, Don't Start

20th March 2015:
Wow, I can't believe I haven't reviewed this in so long. I've really missed reading this. I hope that for all the talk of diversity on the forums, this fic has a huge uptick in readership. It certainly deserves it.

I find the of the expiration date of any sense of wonder in regards to magic an interesting one. I suppose it would get sort of mundane if you're exposed to it for so many years.

Your visual descriptions are excellent. I'm so jealous--I really struggle with that stuff. It's the most frustrating part of writing for me, but you seem to completely have it down.

I've actually never seen the Twiwizard tournament in fic, which is kind of strange because it's SO COOL and you'd expect it to show up more. I suppose I don't read many action oriented fic though and that may be why I haven't come across it. Another thing I love about this story. I feel that it'll get more action packed, but you're taking time to focus on the characters and make me actually care about them and what happens to them in the future.

I really like the new tournament rules that you've written in. They make sense to me, considering the track record of the games.

Alba and Ben are just the best together. Whenever they have a scene together, it's the best. "I pick you up when I want to hold you" --I KNEW IT.

I am not sure about James and Chandra's intentions here. Something seems off about them in this Goblet of Fire scene. I'm not sure why. Then again, I never really feel sure of Chandra's intentions anywhere. She seems shifty. (for the purposes of fiction, shifty is good :P)

The crossword scene with the hockey clue is such a great look at Muggleborn assimilation. The way they leave behind their previous lives is kind of sad.

I cannot believe that Alba got picked.. I knew I had a reason to be suspicious. I just knew it. I'm not sure whether James or Chandra did it but I can't believe they did, whoever it was. This is SOOO good! I can't wait to read on. Hopefully I get to the rest quicker than it took me to get to this one. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #10, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Hands Touch

19th March 2015:
First off, I am a huge fan of your chapter titles! I love Wicked, and I've always thought "I'm Not That Girl" was an incredibly moving song. It sounds like it is appropriate for your story, too, so kudos.

I had to read this story when I saw the summary. I was very recently introduced to someone with cerebral palsy, who is also involved in a sort of movement called "disability poetics." So disabilities in literature, especially concerning cerebral palsy, has been on mind for a few weeks. What was your inspiration for this story, and for Alba herself? I like what you've done with it so far. Alba seems believable, and while her disability is quite present, it doesn't seem to consume her or be the only part of her identity that matters. That said, I would definitely like to see even more non-cerebral-palsy-related parts of her personality and her life shine through in later chapters.

The writing was really solid here, it all felt very smooth and was quite engaging. You had just the right mix of summarizing and including the right details. James was amusing; I love his friendship with Alba. I want to punch his girlfriend, though. How can he let her treat Alba like that?! I was actually a little shocked by her reaction to Alba, since I feel like teenage girls' brand of meanness is a little more passive-aggressive than that.

There were perhaps three or four typos scattered throughout the chapter, but nothing major. "He always insisted that with his father being the youngest Seeker in the past centure," for instance: I'm guessing you meant "century"? If you'd like to read it through one more time with a sharp eye, I'm sure you could square all of those away.

Also, there was one line that came off as a little awkward to me: "Long mahogany hair that curled slightly, vivaciously curved, Keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team." The way it's currently worded, it sounds like "vivaciously curved" is describing her hair, not her figure. Maybe there's a way to tweak things around there?

I'm intrigued by this Triwizard Tournament coming up. More kudos to you, because I'd be way too scared to try and invent three original, creative, mind-blowing tasks from scratch. I feel like Alba won't enter it, but then again, I'm not positive about that. I'd be interested to see where you take this. Overall, it was an interesting first chapter, and you have some strong characters in the making. Well done!

-lllb

Author's Response: Haha! I love that too, and I kinda always identified as the 'not pretty one' when I was in grade school, so I like it too. +]

Well, my familiarity with CP comes from my cousin, who is very many things other than the disease, for sure. She's had a lot of dreams and done a lot of things people never imagined she would, and she never looked back. It took her a long time to even realize there was something different about her than other girls, and I guess admire her for that. While Alba is much different than my cousin, I would definitely say that's where the character's strength comes from. +] The whole "disability poetics" thing sounds great!

I got a beta! So hopefully I'll get all those little things squared away, and avoid them entirely in the chapters to come.

I have spent many a night laboring the hows and whys and whos of the Triwizard Tournament, and I'm still not sure if I can do it. Haha!

Thank you so much for this lovely review! Hopefully you'll have the time to stop by again and see how things go.


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Review #11, by Unicorn_Charm Sudden Silence

18th March 2015:
Hiya!!

I'm really happy I got back to reading this story. I honestly love it. :) Alba is one of the best OC's that I've read on this site. She's amazing. I'm glad that her leg wasn't too, too badly hurt, but that's a bummer that she can't take her pain meds for a few weeks. Hopefully she doesn't suffer too much.

Oh I LOVE that the Triwizard Tournament is going to be in this story! I haven't read a fic yet where one takes place, so I can't wait to read your take on one! I can't blame Harry, or Alba for that matter, for not wanting James to enter. That Chandra really doesn't have her boyfriend's best interest at heart. I think she just fancies thinking herself the girlfriend of the Head Boy AND Triwizard Champion.

This really has been great so far. Your characters are written very well, your description makes the story so vivid and like I said before Alba is a fantastic main character. I'm super excited to see how this goes! :)

Thanks for sharing!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #12, by TreacleTart Hands Touch

16th March 2015:
Hello there,

I'm here for our review swap!

I apologize if this review seems rambly. Normally I try to write coherent reviews with a bit of a critique sandwiched into them, but I am truly stunned by your story. Everything from the strong character you've but to your beautiful writing is well done.

I think you've done a lovely job of portraying a young woman with cerebral palsy and showing her struggles for independence. It seemed very realistic...and I loved that you didn't try to inspire pity for her in the reader. The message that she is a strong, independent young woman was loud and clear. Starting the story out with her and her mom was sweet and really showed us how far she's come.

I really wish I could offer you some helpful comments, but honestly this is great as it is. I will be adding this to my favorites list and reading the rest of it soon.

Thanks for a great read!

~Kaitlin

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Review #13, by Panda Weasley  Blithe Smile, Lithe Limb

15th March 2015:
YAY another chapter! This was really good, as always, and I loved the plot twist. I guess this is going to be a short review because I don't really have anything else to say besides how good it is! I would beta for you, but I'm really busy at the moment. I'm sorry.
See you later!
~Panda

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Review #14, by milominderbinder Blithe Smile, Lithe Limb

15th March 2015:
wow, this was such a great chapter! i said it before but i seriously love alba so much. i also love the new aspects of the triwizard tournament that youve added already, such as the companion. it makes a lot of sense and is also a great plot point

i feel like you totally nailed the whole ravenclaw thing and that makes me so happy! especially since i'm a claw myself :P but i love the idea they would have those meetings, presided over by an impartial figure, it just seems so CLAW i love it. and also all alba's musings on her own house - about them not necessarily being smart but wanting to know things - were spot on and a lot deeper than many people go when writing about the houses

i'm seriously intrigued by james saying he didn't put her name in. i had been assuming that was what happened and it was going to be common knowledge between the two of them, but his denial is such a twist, and i'm dying to know the truth! is he lying here so she won't hate him? did ben put it in instead? did someone else do it as a prank? was there a more sinister reason? this is such a simple thing which adds such an interesting new level to the whole thing. i assume it's gonna be a while til we find out the truth but i'll be fascinated until then!

anyway, yeah, overall i loved this as usual. this story is just fantastic

~Maia

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Review #15, by milominderbinder Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

13th February 2015:
i am so so SO in love with this story! i've just read it all in like an hour and i'm addicted - your writing is perfect, alba is one of the best OCs i've seen in a long long time, the whole plot with the tournament is just brilliant. this is a terribly short review but i just wanted to say how amazing this is and i hope the next chapter is up soon!!

~Maia xx

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! OCs scare me a little, so it's good to hear that you enjoy her! I have the next chapter in the queue, so keep a look out for it!

Thanks so much for the lovely review


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Review #16, by TidalDragon Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

11th January 2015:
I don't think you have any need to worry about the balance in this section. You're exactly right that it IS imbalanced on the whole, but I think that makes sense. As they say with good writing - sometimes rules must be broken - and I think that's the case here after Alba's gotten the shock of her life. Honestly, I thought it was quite clever the way you revealed her magic to be more potent than most might expect through the stories about her retaliation against pranksters too.

I assume from the canon character question, you're referring to McGonagall, so I'll focus on her. I will say that I think the degree of guidance she appears to provide in this scene read rather above-and-beyond for the character, who often reacted to difficult situations for other characters in canon with a more sink-or-swim attitude - certainly where rules forbid much assistance as well, as she's a stickler for them. But the actual interaction itself seemed very appropriate to me. I think you got her mannerisms across very well and most importantly you revealed who McGonagall is beneath that tough exterior - an ultimately kind person who cares deeply for the students at the school.

In a tiny punctuation point (and keep in mind this is purely a personal, stylistic preference), but I think when you offset solitude (re: the old ink closet) it would look more natural if the offset were evenly spaced on both sides and you went with the trusty em dash. The only other thing I noticed in that vein was that you wrote "Champion" instead of "Companion" at the end of the McGonagall conversation.

Hope this helps!

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Review #17, by crestwood Sudden Heat

7th January 2015:
It's been a while since I've read this story. I didn't realize there were new chapters up that I'd missed!

Your description of the experiences of a non-able bodied person at Hogwarts is so thorough and tactful. It gives such a different perspective on place that we all know so well and I think that a little bit of diversity can never be bad, especially because fanfic tends to be about the same kind of traditionally beautiful, able-bodied people over and over. Alba is a breath of fresh air for sure.

I laughed out loud at the line about things that you have to get used to in order to like being a form of Stockholm Syndrome. I wish I would have thought of that myself :P

Oh wow, a character with OCD. I don't see that often. I've got a slightly different kind, so I can't quite identify with how she reacted to mud on her shoe, but allow me to drink out of a dirty glass and the world is ending. So yeah, I like that you've added in that bit.

I really love this story. It's so unique and well written and honestly intriguing. Thank you so much for the swap!

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Review #18, by hokiechick Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

31st December 2014:
Hi again! I came back for the latest chapter, I was so excited to see it updated!

So at the very least, I hope Chandra finds out what James did. She's going to feel really stupid about yelling at Alba. She's a very insecure character in general, and I hope she gets some kind of treatment to be able to control her condition and grow as a person.

Alba's choices for Coach are pretty good. Neville would also be a great mentor to Alba because he got bullied a lot in school and I'm sure she's going to be the target of a lot more criticism now that she's a Champion.

Potter is definitely out for Companion. At this point I don't see how she can forgive his betrayal, but I'm sure you have something in mind for repairing their friendship later on. Both Ben and Maude would be great Companions, but I'm not sure Maude will want to make the huge sacrifice of time for a casual friend. Unless there was another side benefit for her, like it helps her get a job or into another program of study after graduation.

Your characterization of McGonagall was great, especially with the biscuits. Alba did exactly what I would have done right after that situation (hide, think, cry). Good job with this chapter, I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you're this invested with such strong feelings! It's really, really good to hear!

Ah, yes. Ben would be a good companion, BUT he isn't old enough. There's an age restriction on that too. I can't wait until you find out the whole team!

Thank you so much for these reviews! They mean quite a bit.

Until next time


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Review #19, by TidalDragon Don't Wish, Don't Start

31st December 2014:
Hello again! Sorry for the delay - it's been mayhem recently as time off work does not relieve me of parental responsibilities, but here I am!

Honing in on the areas you wanted feedback on from your request, I thought you maintained a decent balance between the different elements at your disposal. Though it was a bit more dialogue heavy than some previous chapters until the very end, I didn't think that detracted as, in a way, it highlighted the thoughts running through Alba's mind that much more.

Speaking of those thoughts, they certainly stayed consistent with the character you've developed and I think they furthered that development in some respects. Most interesting were the ongoing consideration of Ben and where that will end up, along with the comparisons Alba continues to make between him and James.

The moment that seemed OOC to me (for now) was James putting Alba's name in the goblet. Admittedly right now it's not certain that's what happened, just what Alba suspects, but if he really did it...I just don't know. I can see where James would believe that her name would never get picked and that by him putting it in it could save them both, but at the same time, given who his father is he HAS to know that unexpected things can happen when the goblet's involved and if he's ever been a real friend to Alba I just don't see him even taking the chance. Then again, perhaps you're about to reveal more about him to us...

Regardless, I did think the chapter flowed well and had an appropriate pace and I can see where the goblet (quite an interesting instrument) could pick Alba regardless of her apparent limitations. I had a feeling that's where the story was headed anyway, even with the clever introduction of the Guide and Companion clause. I'm interested to see who gets those roles too.

Hope this helped!

Author's Response: Haha, no worries. Parenting is as time-consuming as it is fulfilling.

I'm glad the dialogue didn't detract. *whew* I tend to make people overly talkative when I don't pay attention.

James is an interesting one, and I plan on developing his character further soon. I'm having trouble deciding on what should come where, and my chapters keep covering less than I'm hoping, but oh well.

Thank you for the review! It's always great to hear what's on track and what seems a little off. Until next time!


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Review #20, by Panda Weasley  Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

31st December 2014:
YAY A NEW CHAPTER! I have to tell you that I love this story and I was worried it was going to be abandoned. When I saw on the forums that you had updated it I was so happy! I didn't have time to read it right away though, which is why I'm only reviewing it now.

First off I love how you show all of Alba's feelings. I think you characterize her very well. I love her smart, brave, and spunky character and I hope that I keep seeing it shine. I love her confrontation with Chandra; I think that she handled it very well.

I also love the plot and flow of this story. I think this chapter flowed very well and showed everything that needed to be showed. It moved the plot along at just the right speed. I thought this chapter was really good!

I noticed one little thing that was a little off though. Near the end you mention that it was Neville who got Harry through the 2nd task. That's true.in the movie. In the books it was Dobby who did all of the help. This is fine if you are basing all of the facts off of the movies. If you are doing a mix of the books and movies it might get a little hard to follow. That's your choice though. I personally prefer the books but that's me. Not you. :) Just something you might want to think about.

I didn't read super closely for grammar or spelling mistakes, so I guess there weren't any too glaring. Either that or you are an awesome editor. That's probably it.

I really hope that you keep working on this story, because I LOVE it! I'm sorry this isn't a very good review.I just wanted to let you know that I'm reading the story and I love it.

Hope you are having an amazing day!
~Panda

Author's Response: I'm glad you're so excited about it! Hopefully I keep you interested.

OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT!! You're right! Wow. I'm blushing so hard right now. And it slipped past me AND the hubby. Wow. Yeah, I need fix that.

I'm so glad that you let me know you're reading it. I need the encouragement. +] And it was a lovely review.

Until next time!


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Review #21, by Lululuna Don't Wish, Don't Start

15th December 2014:
Back again!! :) Here for your third prize review.

Ahh, the Ben moment at the beginning was so cute! I loved how Alba is realizing that she might have a crush on both him and James, and how well they get along and are comfortable around one another. I especially liked her comment that Ben would probably carry her up the stairs even if she didn't have CP because it definitely seems like something he would do. Also, the way Alba rationalizes something like romance is so funny and typical of her character. :P It's like it can't be real until she's used logic to work through it.

Speaking of though, how the heck has Hogwarts made it this long without having some sort of accessibility services??! What if a student was in a wheelchair and couldn't physically climb all those stairs? I know that Alba is very determined and might not even accept help if the castle itself offered some sort of special stone escalator or what not, but I wonder if the school could help her out with getting around if she would let it.

Okay, jumping back a bit here... I thought the explanations of how the Tournament has evolved with the Guide and the Companion makes a lot of sense. It fits that they would want to not only make it less dangerous, but keep people from cheating as the Tournament Harry was in was pretty corrupt.

AHH I KNEW JAMES WAS GOING TO PUT HER IN!!! I totally suspected that when he was so insistent about dragging her into the circle and holding her hand. Or maybe it was someone else (Ben?) who put her in and James' weird behaviour was a red herring? Hmm, well James seems more likely to me at the moment. I'm not sure how I feel about his intentions, maybe he wanted to put her in so she can prove to the school that she can do anything, but it feels like forcing somebody to do something that scares them without their permission is going too far. I'm so curious to find out who put her in now!! Ahh!!!

Really great chapter!!! :D

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Review #22, by Lululuna Sudden Heat

15th December 2014:
Hello!! :) Here (finally!) for your second of five prize reviews for the Beatles challenge. Real life really took advantage of me these past few months but I'm on break now so should hopefully be able to give you your prizes. Not to mention that I love this story so always excited to return to it.

One little comment: I found it a bit jarring that Alba's name wasn't mentioned in the first paragraph and it just said "she." I feel like that's the kind of thing that's easier for readers to notice than for writers so might be something to add in if you come back for an edit. :)

I liked how we got to see more of Chandra in this chapter and how it made her more likable. I liked how she was bonding a bit with Alba at the dinner table, and her having OCD is really interesting. I think it's great that you're showing diversity and representation not only through Alba, but her schoolmates as well, and it feels very authentic. As usual, you do a really good job showing how Alba has to make sacrifices and be mindful of her body's specific needs, but not making her whole identity and life revolve around it.

Alba's such a well-rounded character too. I think the way she reacted to Chandra's panic attack showed how she can be a little judgemental too, but how she still tries to see the most in people and be empathetic. That's very relatable.

Is it weird that I'm potentially shipping Alba and Albus?? He just seems sweet, if a little overshadowed by James. But I love the way the brothers work together and are such good friends, that's definitely fitting with my head canon especially if they're a year apart. And the names "Alba" and "Albus" are just too perfect to ignore. Hehe.

Hahaha, Krum!! I'm so excited that he's here - such a charmer, too. I like how he has such fond memories of Hogwarts, his feelings towards it reminded me of Harry a bit actually and how iconic Hogwarts is as both a symbol and a place in their minds. I'm so excited for the Tournament too, and what mischief the other schools might stir up.

Also, so funny to see Krum is still popular with the fangirls! Haha.



Couple typos I noticed (I know I like it when people review my stories and point these out so it might be helpful :P):

smart and cool." James answered - Should be a comma in the dialogue tag.
"Oh yeah!" Jam exclaimed Missing the last part of his name. Though Jam is kind of a cool nickname. :P
a better vantage point. He pointed to tops of Missing a quotation mark when his dialogue ends. Also I think it's supposed to be "the" tops.

Awesome chapter! I'm so excited to see what happens next. ♥

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Review #23, by marauderfan Sudden Silence

14th December 2014:
For our review swap!

I am so glad this reminded me to come back to this story as I really loved reading the first two chapters.

I still feel terrible for Alba every time I remember that she has to go up and down all these absurdly tall tower stairs to get to and from the Ravenclaw common room/dormitories. Come on Hogwarts, it's the twenty first century and I think they should work on accessibility. Like what if there were a student who didn't have the use of their legs at all? As is, there's only one way to get into those tall towers and that's stairs. Gah! /rant.

A single thread in a tapestry cannot know it’s worth, -- ooh, I love that!

I can also instantly relate to Alba as 'the cat lady'. We gotta stand together, us cat ladies. Ben does seem really sweet though! I hope she gives him a chance.

Ah, I love that Alba wants to be a healer. Given her background and her personality it's a perfect fit - then she can help others stand tall. :)

I like Maude, even though Alba seems convinced they're not friends past academic acquaintances, Maude does seem to genuinely like her and it's nice to see Alba having friends.

just a note, you say Alba is really into astrology and then go on to describe the study of the stars, the class at Hogwarts - however Astrology is like horoscopes/sun signs, etc, whereas I believe the one you're talking about here is Astronomy.

I liked that we got a bit more info about Chandra at the end of this chapter (even though Alba was eavesdropping... tsk tsk! :P ) and their discussion about the Triwizard cup. Also.. ahh! the Triwizard tournament is returning! Well that should be interesting.

Can't wait to find out what James is up to, because he's obviously up to something haha. Awesome chapter and thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you keep coming back and leaving such great reviews!

The healer thing is really kinda important to the story in that helping other way, so yes +] she can help others stand tall too!

I like Maude as well, I think she has a little bit of me in her. haha. Hopefully that continues to be a good thing, although I do have much bigger plans for her in the future.

Oh my goodness, yes! Thank you! Gah. Most of my writing happens way later than it should. I got a beta, so hopefully this will happen less.

Thank you again!

Until next time!


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Review #24, by macpp Don't Wish, Don't Start

8th December 2014:
Just read the whole story, really enjoyed it!! Nice to find something original for once :D please update soon...

Author's Response: I certainly will thank you so much for commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #25, by casa_bella Don't Wish, Don't Start

7th December 2014:
What!! Love this, update soon!

Author's Response: Will do! Glad you dropped a line!

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