Reading Reviews for a slow shattering
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack the mirror thrown to the ground

10th January 2015:
The elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack has ventured forth from in hiding to leave you a review! One can only hide from Xeno Lovegood for so long.

Wow, this chapter. Just, wow. I am all over the place after reading this, but it's so good. I love that you've gone in depth into Lavender's mental state after such a horrible, violent attack as that's kind of easy to gloss over, but of course must have been just unthinkably bad. She's only 17 or 18 when this all happens, and after seeing her best friend die in such a gruesome way and then being mauled by a werewolf, I can't imagine she'd end up without intense PTSD after all that.

I really like what you did writing Lavender here, particularly the way her thoughts jump from place to place but are quite rational, and the disconnect between what's going on in her mind versus outside, i.e. the doctors. And the contrast between the white room and all the dark, violent images from the battle she keeps remembering. it's just phenomenal the way you wrote it.

I am very impressed, and it takes a lot for a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to be impressed, for normally we find the folly of humans laughable, and enjoy hiding from them to see how they react. But yes, I'm impressed.

And now once again the Crumple-Horned Snorkack must disappear, to lurk in the shadows of the archives once again.

Author's Response: Hello hello! Crumple (can I call you Crumple?), I have to say that I am so honoured that you ventured forth from hiding to leave a review on my story! Hopefully Xeno Lovegood won't track you from this.

Ugh, I'm sorry! Yes, I don't know when I decided to give Lavender so much thought and emotion but somehow I did, and delving into her mind was pretty scary, because you're right, after seeing what she saw and being mauled by a werewolf - there's no way that she's going to come out of that unscarred, is there? I'm really glad you think that I did that aspect of her life justice.

I'm super glad hat you like my characterisation of Lavender here! I mean, seeing as I've been lucky enough never to have had any sort of PTSD I was really nervous about how she was going to come across, or whether I overdid it, and I'm really glad you think that it was realistic and well done! ♥

Crumple, I have no words. Your compliments are simply too lovely for my mere moral-folly mind to accept, but I will because I like feeling good about my writing :D

Goodbye, Crumple! I shall drink to your good health and continued anonymous lurking, and thank you ever so much for the amazing review! ♥

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Review #2, by grednforge217 he wants to put a ceiling on her soul

10th December 2014:
But my God this is gorgeous. I thought that this would be only a one shot, but glory be, there you go with more. As I've said before, you have a stunning gift. This piece only proves it. Wonderful work. Keep at it!

Author's Response: You flatterer, you. ♥ I know, I took an abysmally long time to update, I'll try to keep it from happening again! Thank you so, so much for the lovely compliments and review! ♥

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Review #3, by patronus_charm he wants to put a ceiling on her soul

6th December 2014:
Hey Emily!

Wah wah wah I just love your writing style in this story so much and it just shows how much youíve grown as an author and itís so perfect and lovely and I love it. All the little sections, the detached narration style, internal reflections and the use of brackets create this sense of loss and confusion which really highlights how awful Lavender must be feeling and itís just done so well, that I could read this all day as itís so interesting and can be read in so many ways, and there needs to be a new chapter asap okay?

I just wanted to hug Lavender and never let her go whilst reading this chapter as her emotions were spot on and you couldnít help but feel sorry for her. She really felt human here and even though they all thought she was crazy and gave a few crazy tendencies it sort of felt normal at the same time but thatís expected as her parents are dead, Parvatiís dead, Lavender couldnít go to their funerals and sheís locked up in a hospital. In a way, I have a feeling thereís still some hope for her and the way that idea is just lingering away there is a really nice feature of the story.

One section which really stood out to me was a really tiny one about Lavender and Parvati and how at first there was Lavender and there was Parvati and then they came together. It was just so sweet and touching to see what good friends they were though I have a feeling thereís more lurking away there, and their friendship will be explored a little more later on.

Mrs Reid and the doctor are both really interesting characters. Mrs Reid because of the way sheís so aware of things like colours and whiteness but I guess that comes with her job as Iím guessing sheís some sort of wizarding therapist? Anyhow, it was nice to see Lavender open up a little more when talking to her so letís hope this is the start of her recovery. As for the doctor, Iím not sure whether Lavenderís natural sceptical of authority given that it was the authority who locked her up, or whether sheís right to think like that. I guess weíll just have to see.

A fantabulous chapter, Emily, and I canít wait for me! ♥


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Review #4, by MissesWeasley123 the mirror thrown to the ground

20th August 2014:
Hey Emily, here finally giving prize reviews!

First of all, this is such a contrast from what I've read of yours before! I've read your parody and then this, which is so sad and dark, it's really cool to see how diverse of a writer you really are. Kudos to you for that! ;)

I like the style you have going here. It's repetitive which makes it even more... crazy in a way. I think that shows Lavender's fractured very staccato mind and sanity so well.

You did the:


thing which I found really interesting. Again, it made a great impact and generally was a good technique!

I love this side of Lavender. I love when authors have sort of the same sort of concept except they make it their own, and you again show her state in a very fragile and yet openly descriptive way. Her pain is an open book. I liked that!

I'll wait around for an update! Great work.

Author's Response: Hey Nadia! Is it bad that I'd forgotten all about that? Haha, that meant these reviews were such a pleasant surprise to wake up to, though!

Yay, thank you! I try my best to write as wide a range of things as possible, so to hear that I'm a diverse writer means a lot! *hugs*

Yes, I think that the repetition does show how her mind has regressed a bit so she can only focus on one thing at a time and it also helps to really emphasise the important points of her life now somehow. :P

Yeah, I don't really know where that came from but I think it added to the piece and I'm really happy you found it interesting, it's certainly the first time I've done it.

I'm so glad that you do! The general response to this story has been pretty positive and I'm so glad that I managed to take something similar and make it more original.

Thanks so much for the lovely review, Nadia! ^.^ *hugs*

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Review #5, by grednforge217 the mirror thrown to the ground

22nd July 2014:
OH My Goodness, this is perfect. You are a wonderful, wonderful writer. I love Lavender Brown, and to be honest, most people make her seem crazy in other fanfics, but you turning around and MAKiING her crazy (in the stereotypical sense) is so perfect. Wow. Everything about this, from the title to the writing to the concept, is just wow. Perfect. Well done.

Author's Response: AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! ♥ ♥ You are a lovely, lovely reviewer. I never really put much thought into Lavender, and I'm not sure when I started, but I ended up putting quite a bit of thinking and love into her, and I figured that anyone who was so - I don't know how to say this, but almost childish, I suppose, in the books would suffer some really bad mental consequences after she was scarred. :( I'm really glad you found that perfect, though. Thank you so, so much for this lovely review, you amazing person! ♥ ♥

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Review #6, by HarrietHopkirk the mirror thrown to the ground

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I have such a special place in my heart for Lavender stories - she got a pretty raw deal in the books, and I love stories like this about her, where she's depicted as totally realistic. Your writing style is also ridiculously good, so kudos to you.

I almost always forget that Lavender is attacked by Fenrir in the battle, because it's so brutal it's difficult to imagine. Additionally, J.K had portrayed her as such a girly girl that, although she was brave and a member of the Order of the Phoenix, this attack just contrasted horribly with her whole demeanour. Do you understand what I'm going on about? Sometimes I don't. But anyway, you've got that contrast between red blood and white sheets, and it totally works. It's really great.

Her narration style is realistic - the rhythm of it works so fast and rambling that it matches the pace of the battle surrounding her. And your thoughts would be that fast, trying to combat different spells but then also watch your friend be attacked. And poor, poor Parvati! So brutal. So vicious. Good lord. It's the same throughout though - the narration and the tone match the content and action in the story and it works super super well, so well done!

I can't even put into words how good this is, and I how much I appreciate your writing. You really make good use of repetition, dialogue, contrast, imagery, everything and it works spectacularly. So well well done!

Author's Response: Hello, Harriet! ;)

Honestly, I'm not sure when I started putting so much thought and love into Lavender, since I never really thought about her that much while I was reading the books. I'm so so glad you think this was totally realistic, as I was definitely aiming for that and THANK YOU for saying my writing style is nice! It means a lot to me. ♥

Yes, I definitely understand what you're talking about and I agree with you, the contrast between her attitude and life and the brutality of the attack she went though - it's really difficult to imagine what it must have been like for her. I'm glad the contrast btween red blood and white sheets worked as well, I believe I did bring it up quite a lot. :P

I'm really glad you think so! This was very stream-of-consciousness writing, hardly any of it was edited, and I did worry a bit that Lavender's thoughts would be too difficult to follow because youre right, her thoughts are moving really fast during the battle, trying to keep a hold on reality as chaos surrounds her, I'm happy you enjoyed it! I was definitely hoping that the narration and the tone would work for the things that were happening in the story, and I'm so glad you think that it worked! And yes, poor, poor Parvati. :(

Oh my goodness, thank you so, so much for the absolutely amazing review, I really don't know what to say to your lovely compliments except a huge THANK YOU! ♥

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Review #7, by Ravenclaw333 the mirror thrown to the ground

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

God, Emily, this story is incredible.

You write the horror of Lavender's situation so well, and her trauma and her hopelessness and the way nobody takes her seriously, and her fear - her fear is palpable, tangible, terrifying in and of itself and you've done such a wonderful, wonderful job with this piece, I'm in awe.

This is one of those stories that leaves me without capability of anything approaching coherent thought, but I'm going to throw some compliments at you and hope they make sense.

Everything you write is so real. The style you use is absolutely perfect for Lavender and her mental state and reflects it so very well, adding a depth and realism and horror to this story quite unlike anything I've seen before. And the ending - when she realises she hasn't seen her parents - that killed me, it really did, because she's so alone and are her parents dead? Why haven't they come to see her? The thought of her so alone and terrified, left with nothing except these images in her head which won't go away and the scars on her face and this label - this label of crazy which just invalidates every aspect of her existence - it hurts so much. I can't even begin to count the things I love about this story but it has so much impact and empathy and poignancy and it's just a triumph, Emily, it really is. 10/10.

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Review #8, by patronus_charm the mirror thrown to the ground

6th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Hi Emily!

Wow, your descriptions in this were so chilling and horrible, Iím not entirely what to say or do. I think it was the first section and the horror of what Parvati is what got to me as that was so brutal, then there was the stark whiteness of her being in the hospital which contrasted really well with the whole story. Finally the dreamlike madness was written so well too.

Your overall style in this was amazing! I really liked how you matched your narration to Lavenderís mind as at first it was fully focused and then it grew more and more detached to show how sanity disappearing. I really liked the list of what mad people could do as itís always interesting and different when people include those, and it almost provided a bit of comic relief for the reader too.

This line ĎWhy do they call it the Battle of Hogwarts? That makes it sound noble. It makes it sound like a battle in one of the fairytales she loved so dearly as a child, made up and told to her by her mother.í That was so fab and it showed how her mind was almost becoming childlike with the way she could only comprehend things on a simple level but understand so much more than everyone else could.

The ending was so sad with the way she was crying out and just wanted to get back something which she knew but it wasnít coming back. It was just so emotional the use of italics was a really nice touch as it added so much more to the story. I really hope a new chapter is up soon as this was so good!


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