Reading Reviews for Harry Potter: After the War
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Chloe Chapter One: The Confrontation

10th July 2014:
Amazing! Loved the bit where Harry and Ginny made up also the bit with Hermione and Ron they sounded so cute :)

Author's Response: Thanks! Expect Chapter Two soon. You can also read it on Wattpad: Just type in "Harry Potter: After the War (a Harry Potter fanfic)". Again, glad you liked it, and stay tuned for more!

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Review #2, by DougA Chapter One: The Confrontation

2nd July 2014:
OK, since you edited the Chapter, I believe that I am entitled to review again.

This is better. You need to watch when you edit, because it can make transitions from the old to the new and back somewhat jarring. Be sure you smooth the edges a little.

I think Ginny's temper and confusion are pretty much spot on. I imagine that she is so mad that she wants to throttle him, but on the other hand, she loves him, he did come back, and he won. So I can see the Bat Bogey, but I can also see her relenting after she missed. (Although him dodging could have just made her madder. Scary thought)

I like that you added Harry's injuries, but I am not sure that "a broken looking leg" works. What injuries he has, he still has to make it from the Great Hall to Dumbledoor's office, to Gryffindor Tower, and back to the Great Hall, then off to talk to Ginny. I can't imagine him doing that on a broken leg, nor can I imagine Hermione or Molly overlooking it, if it looks that bad. (on the other hand, a guy named Jack Youngblood did play an entire Super Bowl on a leg with a stress fracture in it. It just wasn't obvious.)

Any way, well done. Only 15 years old, huh. My daughter is that age. Very well done then. Feel free to quote me or use my name, as long as no profanity is attached. As I said, I'll be watching. (or at least reading)

Author's Response: Thanks so much :)

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Review #3, by DougA Chapter One: The Confrontation

24th June 2014:
It is a decent enough read, but I think your pacing is too fast. Here's some of the matters I think you could have dealt with:
1. I know JK did it, but I can't believe that after being apart from her for a year, watching her dot nightly on the map, watching Ron and Hermione get closer, passing her on his way to death, thinking of her as he died, coming back to life for her, and seeing her nearly be killed, that Harry doesn't try to speak to Ginny BEFORE going to bed. The boy deserves a bat bogey hex, at least.
2. Harry survived the Killing Curse as a baby, has escaped Voldermort repeatedly over the years, and has just been dead. Everybody saw him dead, and Voldermort and the Death Eaters (and Hagrid) certainly believed him to be dead. Then his body disappears, then he is alive and well when he returns. THEN he defeats Voldermort in front of everyone. I think everybody would be feeling a great deal of awe concerning him, even his friends. He certainly seems to be The Phoenix.
3. Most people seem to overlook that Harry should have some fairly significant injuries that a simple nights sleep (or night and a day) should not have healed.
Still, as I said, it was a decent start, and certainly has my attention enough to keep reading.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the feedback! I have some answers for you as well.
#1: Thanks for the idea! I think I'm going to add that in right now! I wrote this when I was kinda sleepy, so I overlooked that. Expect a "shout-out" on my next chapter! Anyway, my belief is that Harry was just too tired to talk to her, and that just in case he passed out on her mid-convo, I decided not to have it.


#2: Another thing I overlooked. I'm going to update that as well. Thanks again!

#3: Since you were my first reviewer, I'll let you in on a little secret: Chapter Two will be when everyone is in the Hospital Wing getting their injuries taken care of. I too noticed people overlooking their injuries, and I didn't like that much, but I didn't want to rush too fast!

Thanks again for the feedback, and I will post Chapter Two when I get more reviews and when my laptop is fixed. Again, I was half-asleep while writing this, so I hope you'll excuse my mistakes -- and be prepared for more than twenty chapters!

P.S. Would you mind if I gave your name while talking about different reviews? You certainly won't be the only one.
P.P.S. I really hoped you liked this! I'm only 15, so I'm not a perfect writer, but I'm a HUGE Potterhead!
P.P.P.S. I'm gonna update now, and use some of your advice, if you don't mind, and hope you'll keep looking for my next chapter additions!


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